Crash Into Me & Burn With Me
by Silken Danser
Summary: He crashed into her life one night, changing it forever. Together can they burn brightly enough to lighten the darkness in both their hearts? Read and find out ... Gaara x OC (starts as children and then follows the main Naruto plotline through Shippuden, with a few twists along the way)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No of course I do not own Naruto (or sadly Gaara) just my own character Ren

Note: This chapter is set right after Gaara attempted to give that girl the bag of medicine

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 _What is wrong with these guys? What's their deal, why do they hate me so much?_ I groaned as yet another kick sent pain shooting through my ribs. Lying on the ground, being kicked repeatedly was certainly not my idea of fun, but apparently doing it was fun for these little bastards because whenever I saw them it inevitable ended with me bruised and bleeding.

Being an orphan on the streets of Suna was tough, even tougher if you refused to become part of the "gang" that ruled the streets. There was a small group of displaced kids, my age and older, that had banded together, going with the moto of "there's safety in numbers." If you were an orphan that's where you went, but I refused to join. I didn't really get along with them, they were a bunch of jackasses, and I didn't approve of the way they did things.

They didn't like that.

"Damnit" I cursed under my breath as one of them managed to get passed my meager defenses and land a powerful kick to my gut that knocked the breath right out of me, leaving me gasping and vulnerable. Using that as an opening the ring leader descended, easily breaking the armadillo ball that I had formed to try and protect my more vulnerable underside. He managed to splay me out on my back, mounting me like a damn log, pinning my arms to my sides with his knees. I could do nothing, seeing as I was still too busy trying to re-inflate my flattened lungs.

"Hold her!" he yelled and several of his lackeys hurried to comply. Sensing my rising dread he leered at me, obviously enjoying my defenselessness. "Ah, ah, ah," he tutted at me when I squirmed, trying to escape, only having barely caught my breath. I couldn't muster up much of a decent struggle and my efforts were expectedly useless. "Now what should I do with you," he hummed, putting a finger to his face in a dumb exaggerated thoughtful pose. I just glared, knowing there wasn't anything I could do anyways.

"Ah!" I flinched when he snapped his fingers, "I know just the thing to teach you your place, you dumb bitch." Street life had made him harsh, cuss words like that were nothing to us, even if it was usually strange to hear that sort of thing come out of an 8 year olds mouth. And if he was 8, it would probably seem even stranger for me, as a 5 year old, to know language just as bad if not worse than that.

He leaned back, letting his boys hold down my upper body. My eyes widened when he pulled out a little knife, something he had probably stolen from the corner store when the owner wasn't looking. _Uh oh, this is gonna get really bad, really fast._ I thought, and tried my best to buck him off, trying to summon up just a teensy bit of the strength I had seen in a runaway ox that had rampaged through downtown two days ago. Sadly I was no ox, and he easily subdued me with a vicious punch to the gut that sent me into another fit of wheezing, coughing and gasping that had my throat feeling like I could cough up blood at any second.

"Fuck" I wheezed, stupidly using up some of my precious air supply on that epithet, but it felt good nonetheless, and I was unable to keep the curse word from bursting forth.

While I was distracted, he managed to yank up the bottom of my shirt, exposing my bony hipbones and ribs. Living off of scraps meant that there wasn't much to see there, but being a slightly smaller target didn't mean that there wasn't enough flesh to cut.

He grinned maliciously, cutting into the skin above my hip with his knife. I yelled, my breath still mostly gone, but the pain was so surprising that I couldn't help but cough out something. I quickly discovered that screaming and yelling were really difficult to properly accomplish while also coughing and gasping, but somehow I managed both. I probably sounded pathetic.

As more breath was able to magically appear inside my lungs, I was able to yell louder, which I couldn't help but do. Cuss words also started sneaking in through the yelling, but that couldn't be helped. He was cutting slowly, sadistic bastard, sending pain shooting through the severed nerves in my skin. His face was intense; he was concentrating hard on something, whatever it was that he was carving into me. After what felt like forever he finished, drawing away his knife and grinning like a lunatic, much too pleased with himself.

"There!" He boasted loudly pointing down at whatever he had carved into my body, I craned my neck to see what the hell he had done, not really wanting to see but needing to at the same time. He had carved the Kanji for "Hate" into my skin rather raggedly but still very readable. "Now you'll always know!"

"Know what?" I asked, knowing that it was setup, and not really caring.

He leaned in and growled "That that's all you ever be … hated." Then he leaned back and laughed. "You're trash after all! Who likes trash?!"

He was true, I hated to admit it, but I was an orphan, living on the street. No one wanted me. But still, I wasn't going to let this bastard have the pleasure of seeing me cry damnit! Feeling rage surge inside me, I did the first thing that came to mind, I spat in his face. He yelled and jumped back, landing on his butt, and wiped his face with his hands.

"You BITCH!" he screamed, landing back on top of me with a thud, causing me to cry out as all my previous bruises were reawakened viciously. He pounded his fists into my torso and head, screaming nonsense and obviously completely nuts.

The pounding pain started to meld into one big throbbing pain that encompassed my whole body, sending me into a stupor, unable to really comprehend anything outside of pain. So I was a little slow on the uptake when the blows stopped making contact.

 ***switch to Gaara POV***

The sound of skin hitting skin over and over, the muffled sound of a boy cursing, the groans of a girl in pain, they drew the curiosity of a young red headed boy not too far away. Following the sounds, he became aware of the scent of blood, the monster inside of him stirring in the dark recesses of his young mind. Already upset by having his small kindness thrown in his face, already having the phantom pain in his chest wracking his small frame, his emotions became more and more unstable and he felt that dreaded rush of blood lust raise its wicked head.

He walked closer and closer, his normal short stride slowly became more predatory. Less childlike. More dangerous. He clutched at the fuzzy teddy bear in his arms, holding on for dear life, the still sane child in him terrified and trying to cling to reality.

Once he was close enough to see into the dark alleyway where the noises were issuing forth he perceived a group of no more than ten boys, all older than him, huddled around several hunched forms.

His curiosity peeked, and his bloodlust momentarily subsiding, he crept closer, trying to see what it was that was making those strange and frightening noises. As he inched forward he slowly was able to make out through the huddled standing figures that there were two hunched forms that weren't moving, and one that that was making a constant repeated violent motion of some sort. This was the source of the nasty words that Gaara could now make out somewhat.

"What are you doing?" his young raspy voice carried over to the small crowd, startling those that were standing and causing them to spin around. Once they confirmed their fearful suspicions as to his identity they immediately made a run for it, scattering and running as fast as they could, sending little familiar needles into his heart at seeing once again the backs of people fleeing in terror from his small form.

Ignoring the familiar pang he turned back to the ones still there. The two hunched figures that were still before were now desperately trying to get the attention of the other one, who seemed to be in some state of insanity.

Without all the crowded legs of the others, Gaara could now see the bloody figure of what appeared to be a girl, the two figures trying to snap their comrade out of his stupor were kneeling on her shoulders, not really paying attention to her at all. The third figure was violently punching her, over and over again, smearing her blood onto his fists and sending it spattering onto him and his companions.

The violence and the blood sharply reminded him of all the violent attempts to his life, and his sudden surge of terror quickly morphed into rage. Driven by instinct that he couldn't control, sand started to flood the small alleyway, sweeping up all three boys and dragging them out towards the little ball of suddenly very pissed off red head.

They were promptly crushed, Gaara too pissed off and emotionally unstable to mince words or actions.

After standing and trembling for a minute he turned to the girl, suddenly unsure of what he should do.

 ***switch to Ren POV***

I never noticed the blows stop; I only barely noticed the retreating footsteps of the kids surround me. I did notice when the two boys pinning me shifted forwards and pinned my shoulders harshly to the ground with their knees, they're weight sending shards of pain through me, I also became uncomfortably aware of all the glass that had become imbedded in my back, due to the sensation of glass being crushed into the backs of my shoulders.

My cry was swallowed by a roar, one that wasn't produced from a throat but rather from the mass of sand that was currently descending upon my unsuspecting person. I only knew that one moment I was enduring the pain accompanied by being used as a kneeling futon and as a punching bag, and the next my whole world consisted of sand.

The uncomfortable crushing weight and darkness quickly lifted, sliding off my body along with the three weights of my aggressors.

Unable to muster up enough strength to lift my head I only lay still, simply hoping that the beating was over and I could lie still for a while and try to recover. I had never been beaten quite so badly and certainly never cut. I was surprised that I was even conscious.

I heard several screams cut off abruptly to the clap of sand, like a clap of thunder, only duller. The curiosity now had me struggling to raise my head. Having to carefully lever myself onto my elbows, despite the pain shooting through my shoulders, I peered out of the mouth of the alleyway to see a small figure, glaring at piles of bloody sand, small fists clinched and even more sand billowing around in unnatural aggressive looking grainy clouds.

I stared at him in amazement; he was no older than me probably and yet he had these amazing powers. He had killed the boys I noted, strangely numb. But despite being a little numb with shock, I did know that I didn't regret their deaths, after what they had done.

Slowly his aggressive stance slumped into one of defeat, his angry expression slowly melting into one of sadness. He sniffled and tears started running down his cheeks, joining previously unnoticed marks. "Why?! Why does this happen?" he sobs quietly.

I'm startled. He had obviously intended to hurt them, so why was he upset by it?

 _Oh … I get it … I know who he is now_ , I should have known right from the start, but I probably had a bit of a concussion so …

"I'm glad you scared them off. They were mean …" I called out to him softly, trying to comfort the small red-head that had come to my rescue. "Thank you." He looked over at me, shocked; maybe he had forgotten I was there. The loneliness and despair in those slanted jade eyes called to me, drew me to him in a way I had never felt before.

Despite the pain of moving, and it was excruciating, despite the blood warming my now sticky side, despite the darkness hovering at the edges of my vision waiting to consume me, despite all that I slowly struggled to my feet, staggering. Once I had gained some sort of precarious balance, though still wobbling a bit, I slowly made my way over to him, intent on my new mission.

I wanted to erase that look from his eyes, completely. The pain reflecting in his wet eyes was almost more than I could bear, despite the fact that I was probably in the most physical pain I had ever been in. He stood there, seeming frozen in place, looking like he was afraid if he twitched a muscle that I would disappear. He was terrified but almost eager in a desperate way, something that just egged me on.

I reached him only after a few minute of intense pain and concentrating on my feet and nothing else. One step in front of the other, that was what my entire world consisted of now. That, and the light green eyes that completely absorbed my field of vision.

I finally reached him, barely a foot from him, within touching distance I paused. I slowly reached my hand out to him, wanting to give comfort, to give something of myself to this strange young boy that had crashed into my life.

As I reached, I whispered, "Thank you …"

The sand that had long since subsided from the ominous cloud from earlier now seemed agitated. It fidgeted around both our feet.

An inch before my hand made contact with him, I'm not really sure where since my vision was getting blurry, I felt my fingers run into sand. And then the darkness that had been threatening me the whole time finally started closing in. As my eyes flutter closed and the sensation of falling took over my body, I heard some sort of guttural sound of distress come from the boy in front of me. I could swear that my fingertips brushed skin, right before I lost consciousness.

 **End Chapter 1**

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So? What'd you think? I have the next few chapters ready, but I want to see if anyone wants me to continue before I post them.

Just in case you were wondering, they don't stay children forever, this story goes much further into their adulthood and will have romantic themes eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own nothin' … wish I did

On with the story!

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I must have blacked out from the pain.

I slowly swam back to the world of consciousness, gradually becoming aware of an odd sensation. The hard ground was … well it wasn't really all that hard anymore. And it was moving, kind of a constant sinuous shifting, almost like the imperceptible muscles in a snake. It was certainly strange and I couldn't help but wonder if I had sustained some brain damage.

After a few minutes of contemplation, I was finally able to peel my eyes open, wincing at the return of the full brunt of unpleasantness from being pummeled. The first thing I saw was a face hovering over mine, a bit too close really. As my eyes focused on his he leaned back, the anxious tenseness in his startlingly light green eyes smoothing away. He had obviously been worried that I wasn't going to wake up.

The second thing I noticed was the sand. There was lots of sand. Everywhere. I was momentarily disoriented.

The pieces of the puzzle slowly came into place as I realized that the reason for the strange sensation earlier, that the ground was moving and shifting beneath me. I wasn't lying on the ground. I appeared that I was currently cradled in sand, and it wasn't exactly stationary, the grains were constantly shifting. The young red headed boy from before must have caught me before I hit the ground.

After glancing around for a second, a bit surprised by this new state of affairs my eyes landed back on his. He was watching me, unblinking, the gaze tight and worried. It seemed as if he was anticipating something, some sort of negative reaction from me. I wasn't surprised; of course he would expect his kind gesture to be rejected. If he was who I thought he was, rejection was all that he had ever experienced, plus I had just seen him kill several people with this sand.

I knew who Gaara was. He was the proclaimed demon child, the one who contained a sand spirit, the terror of the village. Everyone was always talking about him in hushed whispers. If anyone I knew had found themselves in my current position, they probably would have screamed and tried to get away. Which was probably the smart thing to do, if all those reports of Gaara losing control of his sand and accidently hurting people were true, which they probably were considering the blood I noticed was spattering his cheeks from my previous assailants.

However, I didn't have that urge. I didn't feel the need to scream. I didn't want to run away, not that I could. I felt relatively content really, if a tad unnerved. Perhaps it had to do with the way the sand was handling me, the grainy touch gentle somehow, almost tender. I had heard the rumors of his sand acting of its own accord sometimes, but if Gaara was actively controlling it right now he was holding me as if I was an egg, with extreme delicacy and care.

His stare was unnerving, the wide eyes unblinking and anxious. Wanting to put him at ease and blink like a normal person, I smiled gently at him, trying to convey my feelings. It worked. He blinked.

"Thanks for catching me, the ground wouldn't have been very nice to me right now."

His eyes split wide open, his expression completely and utterly vulnerable in his shock. He inhaled sharply, his eyes watering again, but this time for a different reason. His voice trembled when he whispered, "You – you're not running away?"

I shook my head, smiling tenderly when he blinked several times, trying not to cry. I tried to sit up a bit, to lean on my elbows so I could talk to him a bit more normally. Speaking with anyone while flat on my back was a bit disconcerting.

The effort gave me a sharp and somewhat forgotten reminder of why I shouldn't be moving anytime soon. I gasped, the breath nearly completely taken from me by my nerves screaming "NO" to the attempt at movement. Nearly passing out again, I slumped back into the sand with a whimper, supremely thankful for its soft conformative nature.

My reaction must have startled Gaara because he was suddenly leaning over me again. His frightened eyes darted back and forth over me, trying to determine the cause for the pained noises. "What's wrong?!" he asked anxiously, his raspy voice a tad higher than before.

I winced at the pain still zinging through my system, and a little in surprise from suddenly being nose to nose with Gaara, " … hurts …" I managed to gasp, still trying to catch my breath.

His eyes darted over me again, stopping at any blood or bruising he could see, so his eyes made lots of stops. Suddenly I saw a light dawn in his eyes, and they widened. His stare abruptly left me and went somewhere over me, somewhere across the street.

His arm thrust forward, his hand open, seeming for all the world like he was trying to pick up something. I was momentarily confused by the odd gesture, until a stream of sand shot above me, following the thrust of his arm. I followed it with my eyes, surprised by the almost blasé use of power.

I gingerly turned my head, watching as the sand shot across the street with blinding speed and accuracy, before it carefully picked up something on the doorstep of one of the houses across the street. It returned just as fast. Bringing the retrieved object to Gaara's outstretched hand.

He smiled timidly, offering me a brown bag, "It's medicine" he explained, then frowned looking down, " I hurt someone," he sniffled and paused to rub his face. "I didn't mean to!" he added ardently looking up and meeting my eyes, his gaze urgently conveying his sincerity. "I brought her this medicine; I hoped it would help her. But she … she didn't want it …" his eyes dropped again, his head bowing as he started to sniffle again.

My heart squeezed as he told me about how she had slammed the door in his face. I myself was intimately familiar with the pain of rejection and having hopes dashed within the slam of a door. "You were really brave to try to give her this medicine…" I managed to whisper, trying not to tax my poor lungs.

I took the medicine, slowly reaching over and taking the bag, gritting my teeth against the pain that told me I should not move anything, ever.

I felt around in the bag, taking out a tub of what I hoped was some sort of salve. I raised it to my eyes, trying to read the label, but my hand was trembling so much I couldn't really make out the words.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asks anxiously.

"I can't read it … I can't hold it still enough …" I whimpered, letting my hand drop with the salve. A little stream of sand neatly caught the falling tub before it could drop onto my sore body, which I was supremely grateful for.

"What do you need?" he promptly respond, gently taking the brown bag back from me and rustling around inside, poking his nose in to take a look at the contents.

"Something for bruises … I think …" I wheezed, letting my limbs go totally limp, trusting that he would find what I needed. After a moment of digging through the bag I heard him make a triumphant chirping noise, one that I thought was awfully cute. It helped to distract me from the pain. He handed me a tub of cream. I opened it and carefully lifted my shirt a bit, gingerly applying the salve to my bruised skin. I didn't have to look to see where to put it, pretty much my whole torso was one big bruise so that made it relatively easy.

Gaara watched, his eyes staring with a mixture of confusion, curiosity, horror, and worry as he saw the bruises. I'm sure I looked like some sort of strange map, covered in blotchy, oddly colored continents. After a bit, he started to fidget, getting an odd look in his eye. It looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't figure out how to say it. Eventually he glanced up at me, meeting my questioning look before looking down. He blushed. "Do you think … maybe I could help?"

He glanced back up, peaking at me from under his oddly nonexistent brows.

I was surprised, really surprised. I hadn't expected him to want to help, but didn't see any harm in letting him take over, so I nodded silently and handed him the jar. Frankly it would be a relief, applying it to myself was moving my shoulders too much and I was really in too much pain to concentrate properly.

He hesitantly dipped his fingers in the jar, coating them in the salve and brought it up to his face to examine more thoroughly. After sniffing it and grimacing, which amused me greatly, he gingerly reached out to me. At the first tentative touch of his fingertips to the skin of my belly, I flinched just a little. I felt him jump in response and he glanced at me for assurance that I hadn't flinched out of fear. I gave him another smile to ease his worries.

He gently began to rub the salve into the darkest bruises. The salve felt indescribably good as my pain started to fade. His fingers were hesitant and gentle, his skin very warm and strangely a little rough. It felt like there was a fine layer of sand over his skin.

I sighed and closed my eyes in contentment as the pain ebbed away, leaving just a dull throbbing to let me know that my wounds were still there. He paused and when I looked up I noticed that he was looking at the wound on my hip, the cut that was still slowly oozing blood. He switched jars and dabbed his fingers into the new one, gently applying the new salve to the cut. I hissed and flinched from the sting, This ointment hurt a quite a bit and I figured it must also have something in it to sanitize the wound. It would explain why it was fizzing. He flinched along with me, "I'm sorry …" he whimpered, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it just stings a little. Some medicine hurts. Don't worry, I'm fine." I reassured him, grimacing, but trying to smile to help him feel better. He smiled back, a bit wobbly but still looking relieved. He finished putting salve on that wound, and by the end it was matted with blood. I'm grateful that the kanji was impossible to make out in the mess of congealing blood.

He was distracted by more blood on my shoulder and followed it to where it disappeared over my shoulder. The cut was from all the glass in the alley, there had been plenty, enough to cut me all over my back and shoulders, it felt like my skin had been shredded, I just hoped it didn't look as bad as it felt. His sand gently undulated, causing me to roll over. I grunted when the shifting caused my battered body to protest. I heard him gasp when he saw the many cuts and the bits of glass still imbedded in my flesh.

"You have glass … in your skin?" he whispered, sounding both horrified and curious, as if he wasn't really sure how such a thing could happen.

"There … was glass … all over … that alleyway" I managed to gasp, still recovering from being moved.

He hesitated, and then tentatively poked a shard sticking out of my skin. I yelped. He jumped. "Sorry!" he quickly stuttered. "Does it … Hurt?"

I just groaned something resembling an affirmative.

"What should I do?" he asked, seemingly unsure of this new situation.

"I guess … could you pull them out? Just be careful, they hurt a lot." I whimpered, trying not to give in to the pain and be a cry baby, but getting dangerously close.

"Oh … Okay" he began to pull the shards out as gently as he could. I tried my best to stay still for him, but couldn't help but flinch every so often. He was very thorough, making sure to get every little piece. I even felt his sand extract some of the smaller shards, especially the ones ground into my shoulders. It wasn't pleasant having the sand digging around in my skin, but it didn't hurt too, too bad, he was being very careful.

Once he was sure that there wasn't any glass left, he pulled out the salve for cuts again. He hesitated but put the ointment on my back, starting with the worst parts on my shoulders. I groaned and dug my fingers into the sand. He whispered, "… I'm sorry," but didn't stop this time.

He was very gentle, his slightly rough feeling skin a bit unpleasant on the open wounds, but I accepted the touch, knowing the intentions behind it. Despite the sting of the ointment, the cuts and bruises started to feel a bit better, the sharp pain dulling to an ache. I sighed in relief, relaxing back into my sandy bed.

His fingers stilled and I could feel his questioning gaze seeking out mine.

I answer the silent question, "I feel better, thank you. The pain is going away." I feel his fingers tremble.

He whispered, "I'm glad." Then he asked if he could take me back to my home, so that I wouldn't have to walk.

"Thank you" I whispered, greatly relieved that I wouldn't have to walk, frankly I wouldn't have been able to make it if I had.

I directed him to where I lived, a small abandoned building at the very edge of town. When we got there he paused and looked confused, not seeming to believe that this was where I lived. It wasn't much to look at. I lived in a rather ugly building, one that was practically falling apart near the edge of town. It was still used as a seedy office of some sort during the day; I never bothered to look into what exactly went on in there, figuring that I simply wouldn't want to know

"Thank you so much …" I whispered again, snapping him out of his confusion. He stammered something in reply.

He left the medicine with me. And then he left, his shoulders slumping as he walked away from me. I called out to him, "I'll see you soon! Okay?" He looked over his shoulder, once again surprised. I was getting very attached to that shocked but delighted look that I kept getting out of him. "My name is Ren." I added, realizing that I had never properly introduced myself.

"Gaara" he responded, and I got the sense that he didn't usually say more than was needed.

I was barely able to stand, but I wobbled there in one spot until he was gone, not wanting to lose sight of him just yet. Once I couldn't make out his blood red hair anymore I very carefully made my way inside.

 **End Chapter 2**

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Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed it! Please review if you did! I'll post the next chapter once I get at least 2 reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No owners here ...

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 _The next day…_

I couldn't sleep, despite being exhausted. I was simply in too much pain, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of my new friend. I had never had a friend before.

The light filtering in through the dirty rags that covered the hole in my wall hurt my eyes. I groaned and tried to lift an arm to cover my eyes, but ceased all movement immediately when pain shot through me. I hissed and remembered the previous day. I must have dosed off a bit because I felt very disoriented.

In fact everything felt a bit fuzzy; I couldn't quite make my mind focus on anything in particular. The little bit of cognizant thought that I could scrounge together helped me to determine that I might be getting a fever. I certainly hoped my wounds weren't getting infected. But with my luck, that's probably what was going to happen.

Slowly, inch by inch, taking my time and doing my best not to stress my injuries more than absolutely necessary, I scooted across the pile of blankets that was my bed and carefully snagged the bag of medicine. I pulled it closer to me, pausing whenever my injuries flared with pain, which was constantly, so it took a long time. Once it was close enough I tipped the bag over carefully, and peered into it.

I retrieved the tub of bruise cream and carefully applied a generous amount to my entire torso, starting with my black and blue ribs; no doubt at least one was broken. As I rubbed the cream into my skin I gingerly felt my bones to try and figure out which ones were broken. Several of my ribs were excruciating when I prodded them so I figured they must be broken, but they didn't feel like they were at a dangerous angle so I left them mostly alone. Next I smeared cream over my sternum. My breath had been knocked out of me so many times last night, that of course my sternum was one big bruise. I ended up covering every inch of skin on my upper torso with the salve, sighing as the pain from my bruises faded little by little.

Next I looked in the bag and wasn't able to find any sort of cleaning solution, so I just grabbed the salve that Gaara had used on my cuts last night. I carefully applied the salve to the kanji cut on my hip, biting my lip to keep from whimpering when the sting brought tears to my eyes. I gently worked the salve into the deeper cuts, despite the pain. I was determined to not get an infection. Unfortunately I wasn't able to reach the shredded skin on my back so I just had to leave it be.

I spent the rest of the day in and out of consciousness, simply waiting for my injuries to heal.

As night fell and the air started to cool, I began to shiver. While many of my bruises were healing and had faded from black to an ugly green there were still several spots on my ribs that were still very dark, indicating that they were broken as I had suspected. Though I didn't have a mirror and couldn't confirm my suspicions I highly suspected that my shoulders were also black and blue where they had been knelt on. They still hurt like a bitch and greatly narrowed my range of motion.

My hip seemed to be healing okay, although I still hadn't been able to properly clean it, so it was a gruesome crusty mess. But it was hurting less and less which was a good sign.

My back however … it was the one place I hadn't been able to reach. Thanks to the injuries to my shoulders, I couldn't twist at all. I hadn't been able to apply any more salve to those cuts and they began to throb, heat starting to radiate from my back. But I kept shivering, the temperature in my room dropping by the hour as the sun set.

Soon I was drifting more out of consciousness than able to think lucidly. I didn't hear the timid knock on the door, or the voice of the one that had occupied my thoughts all last night call out to me.

As I came to once again, from another disorienting bout of passing out, I heard crying. Or at least I thought I heard crying, it was very possible that I was having hallucinations. I gingerly raised my head, wincing when it felt like there were tiny little people with pickaxes trying to mine something from inside my skull. Through the aches and pains I tried to verify the sound and locate its origin. It seemed to be coming from outside my door. Not that it was really a door, more like some slots of wood tied together and held up with rope.

Thankfully my bed was right next to the door. The whole room that made up my house was only about ten feet in diameter. I inched over so that I could peer through a crack, and saw a hunched over figure curled up in front of my measly door.

"Gaara?" I whispered hopefully, not able to get much volume through my dry and raw throat.

Amazingly, despite the minute noise I was able to call forth, he must have heard me because his head whipped up so fast that it was a red blur. His tear stained face turned towards the sound of my voice. "Ren?" he croaked, his voice raspier than usual from crying.

"Gaara, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I whispered, inching the door open, I could only reach it with my fingertips.

He rubbed his face, wiping away the tears, "I knocked but you didn't answer …" he mumbled into his arm. _Oh … he had thought I had abandoned him… just like everyone else._

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. I only just woke up." He frowned at me curious.

"You were asleep all day?"

"Well, no … I've just been in and out of consciousness …" he furrowed his brow, looking worried.

"That doesn't sound good" he muttered.

He got up and walked over to the crack I had managed to create and pushed the door open far enough for him to slip through. He saw me sprawled across the floor, my lower body still cocooned in my blanket nest and the rest stretched out towards the door, my hand extended. Thankfully he saw my hand right away, otherwise he might have stepped on it, and I didn't have the strength to pull it back very quickly.

He gasped, darting forward, shutting the door absentmindedly, and knelt by my head. I was only able to turn my head a little; any further would stress my shoulder too much given my arms outstretched position. He leaned down; his upper body crouched close to the ground so we could make eye contact, given my position.

"Are you okay?! Why are you lying on the floor like this?" he asked, his voice a little higher pitched and hysterical, clearly concerned that his newfound friend was okay.

"I'm okay …" I whispered, feeling unconsciousness tugging at me again.

I managed to hang on to consciousness and helped as much as I could when Gaara leaned down to lift me back into the bed. He knelt beside me, scooping his arms under my torso and scooching me back into my pile of blankets. I smiled up at him, his face wavering back and forth in a disturbing sort of way, and then darkness tugged at my vision and pulled me under again,

 **End Chapter 3**

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 **Author's** **Note:** Okay, so I said I wasn't going to post the next chapter until I get 2 new reviews, but I got impatient. But seriously, let's aim for 3 reviews for chapter 3 before I post the new chapter, K? Hope you guys like the new chapter!

Btw, the new semester is starting, so it may take me a little longer to finish the chapters sometimes, just depending on if I have a test coming up or something ...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: No, Of course I don't own Naruto, Gaara or Yashamaru, I only own my own character, Ren.

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I drifted in and out of unconsciousness again, and the disturbing sensation of dark and light, in and out, not really knowing up or down was getting to me. I was actually getting sort of dizzy, but maybe that was the fever. I don't remember much of anything for a while, but I was able to drift to the surface long enough to see an unfamiliar face hovering over mine next to Gaara's. He had kind eyes and shaggy blondish hair.

I opened my eyes a few times and was disconcerted to find the sky moving. The next time my eyelids were able to peel apart, the ceiling was definitely not my own. There were no cracks, it appeared to actually have been painted, and it seemed quite structurally sound.

I was barely aware, not really sure of my surroundings or who inhabited them, but I did know that someone was touching my back, and it felt as if they had poured acid over me. I didn't have enough energy to properly express myself the way I wanted to, but I managed a rather pathetic whine and some whimpering.

I felt someone touch my hand, comfortingly but hesitant, and my fuzzy mind was trying to tell me that there was a reason why the skin touching my hand was so grainy feeling. I cracked my eyes open, the room swimming a little as if I was surrounded by heat waves. I was only just able to make out through my blurry vision the color of red and a pair of light green eyes that seemed to glow in the dim room. I drifted back into the darkness, but wanted to stay with those eyes.

 ***switch to Gaara POV***

Gaara watched his uncle as he cleaned Ren's many wounds with clean cloths and alcohol. It was fascinating, the way the blood seemed to melt off her back, exposing the ragged raw skin underneath. His new friend's back was a mess of shredded skin; all the glass had been removed thanks to Gaara, but it was still oozing blood from all the puncture wounds and sliced flesh. Now it looked angry and swollen. Yashamaru explained to Gaara what he was doing as he was doing it, seeing Gaara's interest, and explained that Ren probably had an infection, which would be the reason for the swollen redness and fever.

The wounds were particularly bad on her shoulders, where the boys had used her as a footstool, grinding her more harshly into the glass strewn ground. Gaara felt a pain squeeze his heart as he looked at the damage done to his new friend, the first person (outside of Yashamaru) that had offered him kindness and acceptance. He clutched his chest and whimpered, wondering at the strange ache in his chest.

"What's wrong Gaara?" his uncle inquired kindly, concerned by the young boy's pained expression.

"It hurts … Why does my chest hurt when I look at her blood? Normally I feel kind of strange, excited, when I see blood, but this feels different." Gaara whined, his voice wobbly and layered with innocent confusion.

Yashamaru blinked, surprised by what his nephew was telling him. Then he smiled kindly, understanding why Gaara was feeling pain, "You care about her Gaara, that's why you feel pain. It hurts when someone you love is hurt. It's like you feel their pain."

Gaara gazed wide eyed at his uncle, not completely understanding, but knowing that he did care a great deal for his new friend. The feelings he was experiencing were very similar to the ones he felt for Yashamaru, perhaps that meant that what he was feeling was love? And what his uncle said about feeling a loved one's pain … Gaara had never been able to experience physical pain, so he didn't know what it felt like. But this nearly unbearable sensation in his chest matched Yashamaru's description of pain. Perhaps he truly was feeling a shadow of his friend's pain. He hoped so, even though pain was something you were not supposed to want, Gaara desperately wanted to know what his new loved one was feeling, to more fully understand what she was experiencing.

When she whimpered he felt a strange compulsion to touch her hand, to offer some sort of comfort. As always the sand coated his skin, responding to his nervousness when it came to touching others. She opened her eyes, and Gaara could tell that they were unfocused, that she probably couldn't see him very well, if at all. But her eyes gazed at him blearily, and her face relaxed just a little, making his heart flutter in his chest and causing him to hope that he had helped her in some small way.

Her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out again. Gaara bit his lip and looked to Yashamaru for reassurance that she was okay. Yashamaru smiled at him, "She's going to be okay Gaara."

Gaara relaxed a little, looking back to her now slack face. Struck with a new determination he walked around the table to his uncle, getting his attention. "I want to help. Show me how to help her." He demanded, he voice wavering only just a little, betraying his nervousness.

His uncle raised his eyebrows, surprised, and nodded, glad that Gaara wanted to do something to care for someone else. He was encouraged by the fact that his young nephew had found someone he cared enough for that he wished to help them. He patiently showed Gaara how to clean the wounds, put salve on them, and then bandage her torso. Gaara assisted, holding the rags and the pot of salve, and he handed his uncle things when asked. He helped wrap the bandages around her, making sure that they were flat and neatly overlapped, just like he was shown. Afterwards, his chest felt warm and no longer pained. He had been able to care for her again, allowed to show someone kindness.

He helped his uncle carry her into his bedroom by levitating her with his sand again. The young jinchuriki's bed was never used anyways, so it worked just fine.

 ***switch to Ren POV***

I slowly surfaced from what felt like a deep ocean of nonsense, and I was quite pleased to be doing so. I first became aware of the fact that I was extremely comfortable, warm and snuggly. I was lying on something soft, my back cushioned in a way I had never felt before, and I must have been under some sort of nice blanket, because I felt as if I was in a cozy cocoon, and for a second I considered slipping back into sleep it felt so good. But I had been asleep for far too long and I could feel it in the way my body felt stiff and my eyes crusty.

I groaned a little as I stretched out my creaky muscles, feeling as if I had woken up from a month long slumber. Rubbing the profuse sleepy crust out of my eyes, I sat up, feeling a thick fuzzy blanket fall off, and immediately was made aware of the fact that my upper body was clothed in nothing but bandages that mummified my entire upper torso. It was also impossible to ignore what felt like my back harshly cussing me out. Loudly. And in several different languages.

I hissed, belatedly realizing that I shouldn't have sat up quite so abruptly. Well, it had felt slow enough, but my back said it was abrupt. I was distracted from the throbbing in my back by the sounds of someone else in the room, the sound of a chair squeaking under someone standing up from it and a small gasp. I looked over to see Gaara nearby, hugging a large fluffy teddy bear and looking somewhat unsure and anxious, but also happy to see me awake.

After a few awkward seconds he scooted over to my bedside, looking me over carefully for injuries, his eyes flicking this way and that over my bandaged torso. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?" he asked, his voice wobbling just a tad, which gave away just how worried he had been.

"I'm okay." I smiled, and then winced as a slight spasm took over the muscles in my back. "It does still hurt a little though." I hurried to add that it didn't hurt nearly as much as before when Gaara's face crumpled.

My new friend rubbed his eyes with his teddy bear, then paused. He pulled back and looked at the toy I had seen him with many times. He clambered onto the bed awkwardly, still holding the fuzzy ball of fur. Once he was close enough he hesitantly held the bear out to me, offering his favorite toy. His smile was tentative and wobbled, his eyes fearful that I would refuse his precious gift. "Here. I'm going to go get my uncle, he asked me to tell him when you woke up. But Bear will keep you company, if that's okay?"

I smiled, touched by his kind gesture. I carefully reached forwards and gently grasped the bear's proffered paws, lifted it up in the air and pulled it into my arms. I hugged his bear close, comforted by its plush nature and the scent of Gaara coming off it. "Thank you Gaara, he'll take good care of me." I smiled, happy at the way Gaara's eyes lost their tense edge and his shoulders relaxed.

He flushed with pleasure, his eyes sparkling in a way I had never seen before. For once Gaara looked like the little kid that he was, instead of world weary and afraid. He smiled timidly, hesitating a moment, obviously wanting to stay, before he sighed and slowly scooted off the bed. He trotted to the door, paused there for a moment, looking back to make sure I was alright and then went to find his uncle.

After a few minutes, a man walked into the room, led by Gaara, and I assumed that he was Gaara's uncle. He smiled kindly and approached the bed, "How are you feeling? Gaara told me some of what happened. You were badly injured. My name is Yashamaru, I'm Gaara's uncle."

After introducing himself, he walked over to the bed and asked me to sit up further so that he could look at my wounds to make sure they were healing properly. I did as he asked, unused to being taken care of like this, and not sure that I liked it. But in a way it was kind of nice.

He very gently unwrapped the bandages from around my torso, much to my embarrassment. Gaara was still in the room, watching his uncle carefully, so I turned my front away from him, hugging his bear to my chest to give myself some modesty. Not that there was anything to see, I was still very much a child after all, but I was still quite shy. Gaara's uncle, Yashamaru, told me that my wounds were healing well, but needed another dressing

To my surprise Gaara interrupted him, "Can I do it this time?" his voice was tremulous but eager.

Yashamaru grinned and laughed gently, "Of course Gaara, if it's okay with Ren" He turned to look questioningly at me to make sure that I didn't mind. I nodded my head that it was okay, so Yashamaru handed the supplies over to Gaara. He seemed to leave the room, although he was probably unobtrusively supervising from somewhere out of sight.

Gaara approached the bed hesitantly, and clambered up to join me. He raised his nonexistent eyebrows, making sure that I was still okay with him helping me. I smiled reassuringly and turned my back to him further, to give him greater access. He very carefully rubbed the salve on my wounds. It didn't hurt nearly as much this time, but every so often he would poke me in a more sensitive spot and I would flinch. Every time this happened I felt the bed shift and knew that he had flinched with me.

After thoroughly soaking my raw back in ointment, he took the roll of bandages and started to wrap my torso again. It turned out to be a tad awkward, I had to place his bear on the bed and help make sure that the linin strips lay flat and neat against my skin in the front while he did the same for my back.

Afterwards he asked, "Was that okay? Did I hurt you too much?"

I turned towards him fully, no longer worried about being uncovered because of the bandages now wrapping my torso. "You did great Gaara, thank you so much." I smiled, realizing that I was truly happy that he had taken care of me, much preferring the touch of my new friend to a stranger.

"Wasn't there another wound?" Gaara asked suddenly, startling me out of my contemplation.

"Oh right … um …" I was more hesitant to let him dress this wound. It was humiliating, to have been marked the way that I had. But I could feel that it still hurt quite a bit, and knew that the dressing probably needed changing. "I guess so …" I reached down to the bandage stuck to my hip and carefully tugged at the edges, gently removing it from the much deeper cut. I winced when it stuck to the scab.

Gaara leaned forwards, watching me anxiously. I was finally able to remove the bandage after some finagling and he leaned in further, squinting a little at the wound. "What is that?" He questioned, trying to get a good look at it. I winced and resisted the urge to cover it. I swallowed thickly and lay back on the bed, so that he could get a clear view of the wound with the light.

For a moment I nearly forgot about everything because of the heavenly sensation of being in a bed for once in my life. My eyelids fluttered, immediately wanting to close and send me back into blissful sleep.

I was immediately reminded of the current situation however, when Gaara skootched up close to look at the kanji on my hip. He was bent nearly double, his knees resting right next to my side opposite to the injured hip, his upper body leaning over my stomach so he could squint at the crusty mark. He looked angry and confused. "What did this? Why do you have this written on your hip?"

I swallowed hard, finding it difficult to talk about. "It was that boy, he said that I needed to remember that I wasn't wanted, that I would only ever be hated." I sniffled, a few tears escaping, still utterly humiliated by this turn of events. He had said I was trash, and this scar certainly made me feel like it.

Gaara scowled, "That's stupid. I don't hate you." He crossed his arms over his skinny chest, huffing with indignation. I smiled, he turned out to be surprisingly cute when he was offended.

"I'm glad you don't hate me." I responded softly, blushing a little, feeling uncustomarily shy. He ducked his head, flushing as well. The awkward silence was broken by a wide, squeaky yawn that burst forth from my mouth, surprising us both. I giggled a little, finding it funny when Gaara jumped with surprise.

He giggled nervously, a little embarrassed by being scared by my yawn. He quickly, but still very gently, put ointment on the cut he had been glaring at, and bandaged it up again. His delicate, feather light touch on the ticklish skin of my hip had me snickering sleepily. He blinked owlishly at me, not entirely sure why I was laughing, unfamiliar with the whole concept of "tickle."

I felt my eyes drooping, the comfortable bed finally winning the tug of war and egging me towards sleep. Gaara blinked again and hopped off the bed. He paused and then turned back to awkwardly tug on the covers until they covered me. I was indescribably touched by his thoughtfulness and stared up at him with gratitude, wondering how I had ever found such a wonderful friend. After a seconds deliberation he picked up his teddy bear from the foot of the bed and tucked it in with me under the covers.

I smiled at him sleepily and hugged his bear close, my vision drifting into black as I shut my eyes. I vaguely heard him sit in the chair against the wall, the one he had been in when I had woken up earlier, and then I was sinking fully into sleep.

My peaceful slumber was rudely interrupted soon after I shut my eyes. I had barely fallen asleep when a frighteningly familiar voice rang through my head, sneering at me, telling me I was trash. I could smell blood, taste blood, felt it coating my skin in thick, sticky ribbons, mixing with sweat and tears. I felt glass bite into my shoulders, shredding my flesh. Pain, hot and bright flashed behind my closed eyelids, memories turned nightmare. I couldn't breathe. I jerked back awake with a surge of terror. I gasped, sitting back up in bed abruptly and clutching the covers to myself as a shield against the night terror, whimpering, silent hot tears sliding down my face unnoticed.

I vaguely registered a terrified gasp coming from somewhere in the room, my heart pounding too loudly in my ears for me to easily hear anything else. So I was momentarily startled by the raspy high pitched voice full of concern and bordering on panic. "What's wrong?" Gaara asked breathlessly, his voice coming from right by my bed. I realized that he must have darted to my side as soon as he heard the pathetic noises coming from my throat. From his concerned expression I could tell that he was worried that I was in pain.

"Gaara," I whimpered, immediately causing him to leap forward and join me on the bed again. "I'm afraid," I answered his big questioning eyes, "I keep having nightmares about those boys, I'm afraid they're going to come back to get me," I cried, knowing that it was impossible but still unable to quench my fear.

His non-eyebrows scrunched down hard over his eyes in a furious scowl, "They won't. I killed them. And if anyone else tries to hurt you I'll kill them too." For some odd reason the deadly aura that suddenly surrounded his little form actually comforted instead of terrifying me as it probably should have.

I sniffled and wiped my eyes, "That's right … You protected me Gaara." Impulsively I reached out, latching onto his sleeve. He jerked, his frown immediately transforming into a shocked expression.

"… will you stay please and protect me from my nightmares." I tugged at his sleeve, begging for him to stay at my side. I was so unused to having companionship, but now that I had it I was utterly unwilling to let it go.

Gaara's eyes were wide, almost frightened, and shocked, but also glimmered with something like happiness. He blushed a little, and looked almost as if he would climb off the bed. But slowly he crawled up next to me, skootching under the covers when I lifted them up for him.

He lay down on his side facing me, and pulled his teddy bear to him, hugging it tightly, and whispered "I can't sleep. If I do, bad things happen." It was almost as if he was apologizing for not being able to join me in sleeping and also as if he was warning me.

"I'm so sorry." I murmured, reaching out to take his hand. The sand got in the way for a moment, coating his hand and making it feel gritty, but after a minute it subsided and let me feel the skin of his palm against mine.

I smiled at him and drifted off to sleep, one free of terror.

 **End Chapter 4**

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Slightly longer chapter this time! Comments are very welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

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I had stayed with Gaara and his uncle until I was well enough to go home. Not that my home was really a home at all. Gaara consistently visited me though, both of us so starved for friendship that we quickly became inseparable. I found that being away from Gaara for made me feel lonely, and it hurt to be away from Gaara for too long. I missed him terribly, even if it was only 1 or 2 days that I didn't see him. It got to the point where we were playing together every day.

I didn't know about the danger lurking around Gaara, until one night when we were playing in the park after dark. We liked to swing on the swing sets, and see who could swing the highest. I usually won, but sometimes Gaara would cheat and push himself with a little bit of sand.

However tonight we were in the sand box. I was making a sand castle while Gaara watched curiously from his seated position on the edge of the stones boxing in the sand. I had always thought it was little strange to have a sandbox in the playground of a desert village that was essentially situated in one huge sand box. Although I had to admit that the sand here was finer and didn't have any prickly stickers in it to worry about.

After a while Gaara's raspy voice floated through the evening air, distracting me from my careful sand sculpting project. "Do you like playing with the sand?"

"Sure," I replied honestly, "I've always liked to play in the sand. I like going out to play in the dunes as well, but it's tough to sneak past the guards." My response seemed to trouble Gaara and his eyes turned to look at the ground, looking kind of sad.

"What's wrong Gaara?" I left my clumsy castle and went to sit next to him, leaning precariously to the side to meet his downwards gaze.

"I don't like sand." He mumbled, turning his head even further away from me.

"Why not?" I knew he was talking about his sand now. But why wouldn't he like his sand?

"It's the sand that makes me a monster. It does bad things. Hurts people. Even kills them." His voice was rough, full of self-loathing.

"No it doesn't! It doesn't make you a monster Gaara! It just makes you special. It protects you, and you can do really cool stuff with it. I think your sand is amazing." I leaned forwards even more, emphasizing my words by grabbing his shoulder, pulling him towards me.

His head swung around, his eyes meeting mine. He looked shocked, his eyes huge and glistening with unshed tears. The tears don't remain unshed for long; soon they escaped his lids and poured down his face as he began to cry.

"What's wrong?" I asked fearfully.

"No-one's ever said that to me before" he sniffled

"I'm sorry … I didn't mean to …" I started to apologize, sure that I had said something awful without meaning to.

"No! You didn't say anything wrong, I'm really happy!" With the tears still running down his cheeks, it didn't really make sense for him to say that he was happy, but the wobbly smile that he displayed was so cute that I just ignored my confusion.

I reached out, wanting to wipe his face, but the sand prevented me from touching him. I frowned a little. "I'm not going to hurt him, so stop it." I scolded his sand firmly, refusing to acknowledge that there was really no purpose in talking to sand. "I just wanted to touch him, stop getting so bent out of shape." I fussed.

He giggled and then hiccupped. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, and it caused me to giggle too. I don't think I had ever giggled before meeting Gaara, it was quite the novel experience, actually acting childish and feeling okay about it.

After a little convincing, it really did feel like his sand was a separate entity, his sand finally let me through to touch his skin. The moment my fingers made contact with his cheek his eyes opened wide and he abruptly stopped crying although his eyes were still damp.

I carefully wiped the tears off his cheeks with the tips of my fingers, while he stared wide eyed, and I felt his cheeks slowly heat up. I avoided looking in his eyes and just focused on making his cheeks less damp. When I was done I smiled at him and met his gaze. He was staring at me with what could only be called surprised adoration, and I abruptly knew that no one ever bothered to show him physical affection.

I blushed. Not really sure why I felt embarrassed, but still very pleased. No-one had ever looked at me that way before. I went back to building my sand castle, not feeling brave enough to hold his gaze any longer. I felt him stare at me for a long time, and then I saw his hands join mine in the sand pile I was making.

He touched the tips of his fingers to mine, "I'll move the sand if you just motion the shape you want," he said, hesitantly offering to play with me even though he didn't like the sand. I looked at him curiously, not really sure how well this would work, but willing to try and excited by the idea.

I drew my hands up strait, miming where I wanted the walls, and sure enough, with Gaara's finger tips lightly grazing my own he followed with the sand making the walls exactly how I drew them in the air. I laughed delighted, this was fantastic!

With Gaara's assistance we quickly made a large fantastic sand castle and by the end of it we were both giggling with delight. For the first time, Gaara was enjoying his gift. This quickly became a favorite pastime of ours and we regularly made spectacular statues in the park's sandbox.

One time he made a small cat, no bigger than my thumb, after having seen a cute stray. I mentioned to him that I had always loved cats. His statue was so tiny and perfect that I lamented that it would soon blow away. He looked contemplative and scrunched his fist. I winced expecting the statue to crumble away, but instead it almost took on a smooth sheen. He said that now it wouldn't crumble because he compressed it into sandstone. I was delighted and I kept it.

It was one such night in the park that I first encountered an attack meant to kill him. I was playing in the sand while he was on the swings watching me. Something whizzed over my shoulder and I jumped, looking up to see what had just flown by me. When I looked up I saw a fascinating little bird made entirely of sand, flittering through the air. It didn't fly exactly like a bird, but it was pretty close. I laughed, delighted and looked back over my shoulder to see Gaara still sitting on the swing sets with his arm outstretched towards me and a shy grin on his lips.

I jumped out of the sandbox and watched the little bird fly around in the air around my head. I giggled and hopped up and down, trying to catch it. Gaara kept it just out of reach, and slowly led me over to where he was sitting. Soon, I was right in front of him, hopping up and down and complaining to him about making it fly too high while he laughed at me.

We were rudely interrupted from our fun and games when his sand suddenly spread out behind him, so fast that it sounded like a huge birds wings flapping. It made an umbrella over his back and several things clunked to the ground behind him. Both of us were completely caught off guard, not expecting to be attacked in the middle of playing. And then one of the things that I suppose were thrown at him, which turned out to be quite sharp and fast, whizzed over his shoulder. It missed him by enough that the sand didn't catch it.

I saw it only just barely in time to dodge, but it still caught me across the cheek, making me yelp. Gaara was on top of me before I could take another breath. He knocked me to the ground, nearly knocking my breath out when we both slammed to the sand, with him on top of me. He crouched over me, his sand protecting both of us now.

His eyes were wild, as they darted over my form, looking for the source of the pained noise that I had made. His eyes settled on my cheek, and then widened. I could feel warm blood dripping down, tickling my cheek. He whispered, "You're bleeding…" his voice shaking and rough.

And then all hell broke loose.

As I looked into his eyes I watched in fascination as one of his eyes turned completely black, even the white part. His pupil turned gold and morphed from a circle to a diamond shaped cross, and in between each of the four points a golden dot formed. I'm pretty sure my mouth popped open in surprise, but I was feeling kind of numb from shock so I couldn't be sure.

Slowly the dangerous sound of a very angry animal filtered through the noise of my heart pounding in my ears. The deep growl was the kind of sound that made you want to run for shelter. The abrupt threat had me looking around for the source, suddenly worried that whoever had attacked us now had some sort of beast that was about to pounce and rip us to shreds, that was the only thing that made sense.

It took me a few seconds to figure out that the sound was coming from the chest of the young boy crouched over me. I slowly stopped looking around and turned my head to stare into the bicolored eyes of my friend, swallowing loudly when I noted the murderous edge to his glare.

Gaara whipped around to face the attacker, now standing crouched in front of me. His sand fanned out into a ring around us, boiling on the ground as if it were water on a hot stove. The frightening growl became his voice, though much deeper and rougher, and he yelled, "YOU MADE HER BLEED!"

His sand shot forward almost in the shape of an arrowhead, so fast it was only a blur, and speared through the shadowy form that I could only just barely make out hiding in the shadows. Unsuccessfully hiding.

The sand made contact with the body with a sickening thud, crunch that nearly had me retching, and continued, slamming into the wall behind with another thud, crunch, splat, that did have me retching. After a couple dry heaves I got myself under control enough to realize that the threat had been dealt with, the shadowy form, that I really didn't want to see at the moment, was slumped unrecognizably against the wall and the sand was slowly returning to Gaara across the ground.

Gaara was standing, still crouched and tense by my feet, a quieter version of the growl still rumbling from his shivering form. I gulped, knowing that Gaara wasn't really in control right now and could probably easily lose control of his sand completely. I had heard the stories.

For the first time I was a little frightened of him, but mostly I was just shaky from the adrenaline running through my body. I was still terrified by what had just happened, the emotion lingering after the event had passed. I hadn't fully processed it yet. I whimpered, the sound slipping out before I even knew it was going to happen. Gaara's head swung in my direction, his black eye focusing on me, still on the ground, trembling and generally a pathetic mess.

He started towards me and then stopped, shaking his head and scrunching his eyes closed, muttering to himself. After a tense minute his eyes opened, both green, and he abruptly sat down, panting.

I scooted over to him, needing to know that he was okay. Before I could ask him, he asked me, "Are you okay?" his voice shook and was still rough.

He reached out and touched my cheek with his finger, coming away with blood. He glared at his finger for a few seconds, and then stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked it clean of my blood. I blinked, surprised and a little grossed out. I wrinkled my nose.

After we had caught our breath and stopped trembling, he took me back to his uncle's house where he bandaged my cheek. He asked if I could stay the night, apparently shaken up that I had gotten hurt, and his uncle agreed. So I got to spend another night in a real bed.

After that it seemed that regularly there was an attack on Gaara, some new assassin trying to kill him. Despite the dangerous situation I refused to be parted from him, pointing out that he was more than capable to protecting me.

 **End Chapter 5**

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 **Author's Note:**

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter.

Everyone who reviews gets an imaginary cookie!

And thank you to everyone who is following this story, hearts and flowers to you guys.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, duh.

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Gaara and I became inseparable, becoming the closest of friends. Everything was perfect, my life felt like heaven compared to the loneliness of before. I was finally happy. We spent several months like that, meeting every day, playing late into the night, simply learning and experiencing the joys of friendship for the first time together.

But as we grew closer and closer I noticed the darkness seeping in, the burden of Shukaku wearing on his young mind. The violence of the monster was too much for such a young child to handle, and it was slowly causing him to change. Of course, though I had heard some whisperings about Shukaku from the villagers, it seemed as though Gaara himself wasn't aware of what exactly was inside him, only knowing that something wasn't right. I never told him the little I knew, not sure that what I was heard was true anyways. I was worried about him, watching him grow further and further away from me.

It was one night, after we had played together as we normally did that things went terribly wrong.

 **Gaara POV**

After playing with Ren late into the night Gaara noticed that she was yawning more frequently, and her head started drooping. They were in the sandbox and had built a little fort out of sand, Gaara compressing it enough that it wouldn't fall on top of them. Inside it was dark, but Gaara could hear her yawning, the sound familiar by now, the normal yawning noise punctuated with a little squeak at the end. He had long since gotten used to the noise and now thought it was rather cute. He enjoyed staying up with her so that he could hear it.

He froze when she cuddled up to him, her warm body pressing against his side, the warmth seeping into him and fading some of the desert night chill. Her cheek rested against his shoulder and then nuzzled in deeper to the wrap he wore around his neck, humming contentedly. Physical contact was still so new to him, that he automatically tensed, but after a moment he relaxed into her, absorbing her warmth.

After a while he slowly slipped away from her, supporting her with his sand as he eased away. He floated her and the sand to her house and pulled on the stubborn door until it opened, then floated her inside. He settled her down into her nest and covered her in her blankets before leaving, going to his favorite rooftop to watch the stars. It was peaceful … for a while.

It wasn't until much later, in the dead of the night, that catastrophe struck. His sand abruptly exploded behind him, shocking the heck out of him and nearly making him fall off the roof's edge when he flinched violently. He turned, peering cautiously around the edge of his hovering sand shield, seeing all the kunai knives scattered around on the ground. The young red headed child was terrified at first, cowering behind his sand, but then grew angry, angry at the injustice of it all. "Why me?! Why is it always me?!"

Propelled by his strong emotion, his sand rushed the masked man that had attacked him, wrapping around the shadowy form and squeezing with finality, slamming him against the wall and making a sickening ' _shmooshk_ ' sound. As suddenly as it hit him the anger left, leaving him shaky and uncertain.

Gaara crept towards the slouched figure against the wall, but paused when he was suddenly struck with a sense of dread. He felt that there was something disturbingly familiar about the form slumped in a puddle of growing blood. Trembling, he inched close enough to pull the mask off and was confronted by his uncle's face.

Everything froze, his body growing numb with shock. "Why?! Yashamaru?"

As Yashamaru spoke, explaining to Gaara in that patient voice of his that he hated Gaara for killing his sister, that she (Gaara's mother) had never loved her son, that Gaara was unloved, and unwanted, a danger to the village, just a failed experiment with the Shukaku inside of him, and that Gaara's own father the Kazekage had ordered for him to be killed, Gaara's chest hurt more and more. He cried, his thin frame shaken by the intense sobs convulsing his chest, the tears dripping down his cheeks in unchecked rivulets. After all of the pain and suffering Shukaku had forced him to endure, any innocence he had managed to cling to was brutally ripped from him. His very sense of self shattered as his entire world turned upside down, giving him vertigo and making him violently sick to his stomach.

He broke, and turned to vomit onto the cold ground. His mind (already unstable from the wear and tear Shukaku put on it) became amorphous, changing into something new, something not quite right anymore. Some of his marbles had scattered and bounced into the oblivion, lost forever. As Yashamaru told him to love only himself, to only care about himself, the mantra took over the vulnerable child's mind.

Yashamaru pulled open his flak jacket, exposing his chest covered in paper bombs, and said calmly, "This is the end Gaara." Gaara had a brief moment of panic, and then the world went white, the explosion shaking the building upon which he was perched, his sand rushing to his defense seconds before he was annihilated. Gaara sat inside his shell, curled in on himself, rocking back and forth crying, the words repeating in his mind. "Love only yourself, care for only yourself."

All he knew was pain his world slowly condensing into a small point, and then pain turned to rage, Shukaku coming to the surface of his mind. The sand bent to his will, streaming from the ground to Gaara's forehead, cutting into his skin. The sand demon slowly inserted himself further into the boy's psyche, using the rage and pain as a foothold in his young host's mind. The last few months were too good to be true, the love Gaara had experienced at odds with his uncle's last few words, that he had never been loved. Shukaku buried the few happy memories that had been accumulated in the past few months as he took over completely, Gaara's reality warping forever.

A roar split the sky.

 ***Ren POV***

In the middle of the night I was roused by the sound of a monstrous roar. I often had nightmares, so I was used to waking up frightened and in a cold sweat. Tonight however, I was woken by something other than my own scream.

I tumbled out of my nest, untangling myself as I went, disoriented since the last thing I remembered was making a sand fort with Gaara; and I ran outside. What I saw was impossible. A massive beast, taller than any of the buildings in the village, was howling at the moon. I had never seen anything like it, so it was very hard for me to place what sort of animal I was dealing with.

Aside from being huge, it didn't have any identifying markers that could tell me what it was. Its muzzle was too short to be a wolf, but too long to be a cat, with longish tapered ears. The muscular body was roughly the build of a large cat, but a little thicker and lower to the ground, with strong broad shoulders. Its front paws were massive, the enormous claws ripping through buildings easily. The overall impression was perhaps a bit more bearlike in nature, what with it standing on its hind paws as much as it did, but it was too lean and had a massive tail that smashed buildings left and right.

It was hard to make out the exact hue of the pelt, but it seemed to be some sort of tan color, covered in intricate blue lines that almost looked like veins, and markings that looked like curly symbols of some sort. Over all it was an extremely impressive creature, really quite beautiful in a deadly, terrifying way.

I was a bit overwhelmed by the sheer amount of destruction this creature was creating, it left huge swaths of destruction in its wake. My first coherent thoughts, after zoning out from shock and wasting much needed escape-time pondering over the potential species of the creature, were directed towards Gaara. _Was he alright?_ I hoped he hadn't gotten caught up in the chaos and destruction. It was difficult to tear my mind off of worries of him being potentially injured, maybe in a collapsed building somewhere crushed, or even eaten. I wished he was here with me, so that I would know that he was okay.

It got closer and closer, plowing through the village as if it was simply a nuisance, much like I would plow through some deep mud. I was terrified, everyone was, there was screaming and running and pandemonium abounding.

I suddenly found myself in a very dangerous situation, amongst many people all stampeding this way and that. It felt like I was in the middle of some sort of river rapids, being tossed around and thwacking into the sides of buildings. It was a struggle to not be thrown to the ground, but I knew that that would prove to be potentially deadly, and at the very least would end with some very unpleasant injuries.

I understood why people were panicking. This thing made deep trenches with one sweep of its paw and sweep a whole row of building to the ground with a swish of its tail. I just wished that they could panic in a slightly more orderly manner. To be fair, probably the only reason why I wasn't running around like a chicken with its head cut off was because I was still somewhat in shock, so really I felt kind of numb.

Somehow I managed to finally peel away from the mob by clambering up the side of a building. I caught my breath once I had reached the roof, panting as I scanned the surroundings quickly to locate the beast. I found it easily enough; it was pretty hard to miss considering its immense size and bad attitude. I decided my best option at the moment would be to stay put and watch it, only going back down there into the street-turned-insane asylum if it started coming my way.

The beast paused in its angry rampage and raised its head to sniff the air. Perhaps it caught an interesting scent, hopefully one that would lead it out of the village. Naturally, that was not the case and it started ambling in my direction.

 _Well Shit._ I started scurrying over the roofs, trying to keep a low profile and not draw its attention. It seemed to be enjoying itself really. Well it was obviously enraged, but at the same time seemed to be enjoying the destruction. It plowed closer and closer. I muttered dark nasty words under my breath that would probably piss it off if it could hear me, or understand me.

Once I was free from the large majority of the hustle and bustle down below, I quickly descended, not wanting to risk being on the roof any longer, seeing as it was headed my way. I darted down the street, weaving between the running bodies, still quite a few though decidedly less crowded than before. Despite my best efforts I got knocked to the ground this time, perhaps it was because more of my attention was diverted towards running away and less of it was directed towards avoidance tactics. I skinned my leg pretty badly, got kicked a few times as people stumbled over me, spat a few choice words, and finally got my footing again.

I darted around a corner and crouched at the end of an alleyway, hoping that it would just bulldoze past. No such luck. It must have caught the scent of my blood because it stopped, turned towards me and leaned down into my alleyway, pealing the walls back with its claws like I was a lizard hiding in a log. It's long hooked claws were longer than my entire body, and they dug into the walls and raked up with the most awful sound. Why was it so interested in me? There were plenty of other people bleeding I'm sure, so my blood shouldn't have been particularly special.

It stuck its head down into the now much wider alleyway, peering at me with eerily familiar black and gold eyes. I gasped, feeling like I had been punched in the gut.

I knew those eyes, or at least one of them. I distinctly remembered that piercing inverted stare from when he had killed the attacker in the park. The sound he was making now was also similar to then, that same terrifying, hair-raising, deep gravely growl, only this time a thousand times louder.

He peered at me curiously, getting much closer than I felt comfortable with. Of course with him I wasn't sure a mile was within my comfort zone. He tilted his muzzle down, glaring up at me from beneath his huge furry brow bone, pinning me in place with that stare, sure that I was about to die.

"So I guess you're Shukaku …" I whispered weakly, barely having enough breath left to wheeze. I suppose I had hyperventilated sometime between him breaking the alleyway and now, but I had been a little too busy to notice. His black/gold gaze was hypnotizing in an odd, very dangerous way, and in some small part of my brain I mused that perhaps this was the way a mouse would feel caught in the gaze of a cobra.

Perhaps he recognized me, or maybe I just didn't smell appetizing, but after an immeasurable amount of time he snorted and walked off, tearing up more buildings and generally causing mayhem and destruction. I just sort of slid down the wall. Once I hit the floor I must have lost consciousness, because I didn't remember myself coming to lie on the floor. But that's the way I woke up the next morning.

The destruction was awful, but the beast was gone. I didn't know where. I suppose he went back inside Gaara, although after seeing him it was hard to believe that Gaara was able to contain such a huge creature inside of him. Worried for Gaara, hoping that Shukaku's disappearance didn't mean that Gaara was also gone, I ran to his uncle's house to try and find him. When I got there I was told that Yashamaru had been killed the night before, and that Gaara was now living somewhere else.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get anywhere near his new residence, it was much too closely guarded and I got beat up by the patrol more time than I could count. For a while I held onto the hope that he would come see me. But perhaps it was as hard for him to get out as it was for me to get in, because I never saw him again.

 **End Chapter 6**

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Authors' Note:

I don't like how big and bulky Shukaku is in the anime, so picture it more like I describe it. I'm working on a fanart of it, when I'm done I'll post the link here.

Thank you to everyone who has followed the story so far and for everyone who has favorited it.

Hang in there guys the road is going to get a bit bumpy for a while ...


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I wish I owned Gaara ;)

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*several years later*

I jogged down the streets of Suna, hustling to meet up with my team for a new assignment. I had received the summons while I was still in bed, the sudden pounding on my door rousing me in a bad mood and unfortunately I may have said a few unpleasant words to the messenger. It was disgustingly early, and I had cussed while getting dressed. Now as I hustled to meet with my team captain, I grumbled under my breath.

I pushed myself faster, using a little wind chakra to speed up. Thinking back now to how I became a ninja reminded me of how lucky I was, to have escaped the loneliness of a friendless street orphan.

After Gaara disappeared, after his "episode" he was more closely guarded and put into training. I missed Gaara dearly, mourning the loss of his presence within my life. The few short months we had had together had felt like heaven, like I had finally found someone precious. Someone that felt the same way about me. Or so I had thought.

After having been alone all my life, forced to live without the comfort of another human being, companionship, or love, I had been overtaken with glee to find a friend in Gaara, to no longer be alone. But now I was alone again, my new friend had disappeared and I was left wanting, desperately searching for him.

I had heard that he was becoming a ninja, which made sense since he was the son of the Kazekage, so I had tried to seek him out at the ninja compound, but was unable to gain entrance. Likewise I wasn't able to get anywhere near his house. He was in lockdown, all the adults in his life doing their best to isolate him, to keep him away from everyone else, worried that he was a danger to society. Which technically he was.

After months of searching, seeking ways to reach him, I finally gave up. I resigned myself to living a life with no-one to love. The pain I experienced upon my decision was immense, and I closed myself off, promising that I would never let myself be hurt like that again. I had been weak to let myself depend on someone else so deeply. I would never let myself care so deeply again, never let anyone so deeply into my heart; shield myself with a 50 foot wall, barbed wire, and a mote. The pain wasn't worth it.

And so it was with this new state of mind that my new life began. I shut off all emotion and began to do what I had to do to survive. Though I had scorned the other orphans for stealing I began to do the same, realizing the cold harsh truth of my situation, and frankly not giving a fuck anymore.

I stole the food I needed, no longer as skinny as I had been when I had resorted to begging for scraps and not stealing. Sure I still felt a little guilty for doing it, knowing that the people I stole from needed the income from their produce, but I suppressed those emotions too.

As I ate more, I was able to develop more muscles, and with that I was able to run faster, farther, and so I was able to steal more while still avoiding the angry patrons unwillingly feeding me. I quickly adapted to my new lifestyle, gaining strength that I hadn't known myself capable of possessing. I was soon quite agile, quick, and strong.

The boys that used to torment me so much tried to start back up after Gaara left me, feeling secure that they wouldn't be killed like their comrade. Their anger over his death led them to be much more vicious, intent on retribution. At first, the beatings were often and severe. But with my new abilities I was soon able to run from them, to avoid them altogether. I learned stealth, from both stealing and avoiding the bullies. From these lessons I taught myself to climb, to get onto the rooftops with the agility of a cat. I fell a lot at first. It's a miracle I didn't break anything.

After a while though, none of the boys had a chance in hell of catching me. I was strong now, healthier. I continued to push myself, to go faster, farther. This approach only worked for so long however, my attackers were persistent, and pissed off. The death of their comrade and hit them all hard, and they wanted revenge. They set a trap, luring me into an alleyway with smooth walls, nothing that I could scale to escape. Once cornered, they thought they had me.

They weren't the only ones with anger issues though. I had worked my way through the grieving process of losing Gaara, and I got stuck at being angry. Not at him, just the world in general. I still had pain, still cried myself to sleep at night, still missed my only friend with every fiber of my being, but now I was also extremely angry and antisocial. Not a very good mix.

I first experienced terror, nearly having a flashback to that time months ago when I had been beaten so badly, cut and humiliated. The nightmares of that had stayed with me, preventing me from sleeping at night. The terror morphed into rage relatively easily though, this time I wouldn't let them have the pleasure of beating me.

There were five of them, and one of me, the odds were not stacked my favor. Their mistake came when only two of them came at me to start with. If they had all come at once I really might have been done for, but as it was I was able to duck the first one. I came up behind him and grabbed his weapon, acting solely on instinct. He was carrying a stick, so I grabbed hold of the end and used it to swing him around and into the second bully coming at me. He let go of the stick when he hit his comrade, sending them both to the ground.

I backed up with my new weapon. One of the five had stayed down, the one that had been hit by the previous owner of my stick. When he fell he managed to hit his thick head against the wall of the alley, doing some of the work for me. I was grateful.

The adrenaline pumped through my body and I felt my concentration narrowing, centering on my body, on my muscles, on how I was going to defend myself from their next attack. When three came at me my concentration instinctively went to my feet, willing myself to go faster, to gain enough momentum to hit them before they hit me. I dashed forward, pushing off the ground with force I didn't know I had possessed, the intense focus having actually forcing chakra to my feet without my knowledge.

What I didn't know at the time was that I had been born with immense chakra, and was naturally inclined to use wind laced chakra. With the natural abilities, I was able to unconsciously unlock a certain amount of my chakra, and even managed to lace some of the wind into it, making me move at speeds that almost made me dizzy.

I shot forward like a bullet, faster than they could react. I hit the first one with my stick and he went flying into the wall. Another attacked me from the side, I whapped him upside the head too. He was unconscious before he hit the ground. Now there were only two left. They came at me together. One actually managed to land a punch, sending my head reeling a little. I recovered quickly enough to dodge the next blow, and retaliated with my own, kneeing him in the gut hard enough that I heard and felt a crack. He collapsed groaning onto the ground.

The last one ran away. Good riddance.

They never bothered me again after that, staying out of my way. I was happy with that, they were becoming a nuisance.

And so my life took on a reliable pattern. Wake up. Untangle self from bed/nest. Stagger outside. Squint. Cuss at the sun for being so fucking bright. Find a spigot. Wash face. Cuss at the water for being so damn gritty. Stalk to the food vendor carts. Select one for breakfast. Steal breakfast. Possibly run for life. Cuss out the stingy food vendors. Eat quickly. Repeat last several steps for lunch and dinner. Wander around aimlessly for hours glaring at random people. Sit under any sort of shade available. Sweat. Cuss at the sun some more for being too bright and an asshole. Wait for the sun to go down. Wander around some more. Eventually go back to hovel. Kick and shove on makeshift door until it closes. Sit on dirt floor and catch breath while cussing out stupid door. Then attempt to fluff up pathetic pile of rags for bed. Stand and scowl down at said dirty pile of rags. Sigh. Mutter a few last cuss words. Nestle into "bed." Go to sleep. Have a nightmare. Wake up screaming. Cuss out life in general.

I was not a very happy person.

It was during one of these days while I was stealing food for breakfast that my life would take a dramatic turn for the better. I had chosen fruit that day, noting a fresh shipment of produce had come in and stealthily made my way through the shadows towards my target. I snuck close, then ducked under the cart when the vendor wasn't looking. I waited for a few seconds, holding my breath to see if I had been noticed. I uttered a quite sigh of relief when nothing happened,

I waited for my chance and reached out to grab a few choice fruits dangling close to the edge of the cart. They probably would have fallen off anyway to be smushed. So really I was doing everyone a favor by preventing rotten fruit from cluttering the streets, which would attract flies, which carried diseases, which could start an epidemic. I should be given a medal.

I managed to snag some, but unfortunately my cover was blown. I busted out from beneath the cart, dashing off down one of the alleyways. I vaguely heard the owner yelling, "After her! She's been stealing from me for months!" I chanced a glance over my shoulder, wishing that I hadn't when I saw who was now pursuing me. Apparently my little stunt had been noted by a ninja who had also been buying breakfast. How unfortunate.

"Oh for fucking sake" I hissed, totally ticked off with my bad luck. I knew I would really have to kick it into top gear. With a ninja on my tail all my usual tricks weren't gonna cut it.

Ever since I had fought with those assholes in the alley, I had spent a good amount of time contemplating the strange power surge I had experienced and the accompanying burst of speed. I had gone over it step by step, finally determining that it had to do with the concentration I had applied to my feet. I had practiced for several weeks now, determined to figure it out, and certainly having plenty of times to exercise it, what with having to run from the owners of my food almost every meal.

I had sort of figured it out, I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but I knew it had something to do with the wind, since I could feel this strange surge in the wind currents around my body whenever I did it.

It was the only thing that might save me now. I concentrated hard, harder than I ever had before, visualizing that strange feeling, the sensation of energy prickling in the soles of my feet and the almost electric feeling in the breeze. The wind kicked up a notch, apparently startling the ninja pursuing me; I could hear him miss a step.

 _There …._ I got it, that weird prickly feeling, and right on time my speed increased exponentially, letting me dash forwards. I heard the ninja behind me mutter something incomprehensible, but he sounded shocked. I chanced a glance over my shoulder and grinned when I saw his slack jawed expression and the way he was flagging behind me.

My elation was short lived when he suddenly appeared in front of me in a puff of smoke. "Shit!" I yelped. He was taking up the alleyway in front of me now, there was no getting past him, so I forced some more of that power to my feet, intoxicating myself with the feeling of flying I got from the wind whipping past me. When I did this, it felt like the wind was propelling me forwards, like I really could fly if I wanted to. Using the burst of speed I dashed up the nearly vertical wall to my left, only just making it to the ledge where I hooked my fingers, heaving myself up to the roof.

I was panting now, feeling the drain on my energy that I had already figured out came from the use of whatever it was that I was doing. I pushed myself up, forcing myself to run forwards, jumping over rooftops recklessly, nearly missing a few, but confidant enough in my agility to know that I could catch myself. I glanced to my right to see that the ninja was trailing me only slightly behind now. I had slowed down considerably, unable to keep my speed that high for very long.

The ninja threw some sort of smoke bomb in front of me, causing me to skid to a stop, the remaining "wind power" behind and under me enough to peel the first few layers of stone used for roofing from under me and send chips flying every which way. I managed to stop myself from running into the cloud, or from falling off the roof, but I had used up most of my energy and felt myself getting dangerously lightheaded.

I turned around to see that the ninja had come to a stop behind me and had his arms crossed. I would have expected him to look angry, but he looked more curious than angry. "Who are you girl?" he barked.

"What's it to you?" I barked back, using the same tone.

He raised an eyebrow over his one visible eye, the other blocked by a white veil of some sort. He almost seemed a little amused. "Do you know what you were just doing?" he inquired sternly.

I paused, "Um … stealing breakfast?" I was confused. Did he think I was incompetent?

He pursed his lips, unimpressed, "No. Not the stealing. The chakra control. Did you know what you were doing when you focused chakra to your feet as you just did to speed yourself up?"

I blinked, "Um … no? What's chakra?" I was curious now, it seemed that he knew how I was doing that power up thing.

"I see." He glanced to the side, seeming to be thinking about something. "Where are your parents?"

"I don't have any"

"What were their names?"

"I don't know"

"Interesting." After a moment he nodded, seeming to come to some sort of decision, "You have an enormous amount of chakra and natural talent for you to be able to do what you did. I think you may make a very good ninja. You could come back with me, there is a test you could take to get into the ninja training program if you wish."

My mouth dropped open, my mind blown. I was definitely not expecting that. I didn't have to think about it for very long, I had nothing to keep me where I was, no happiness, no friends, no family. Even if this turned out to be some sort of lie, I was willing to risk it if it could possibly mean that I might be able to join the ninja training program, become something more than just some orphan roaming the streets.

And that's how I had become a ninja. I went with Baki, who ironically ended up being my team leader, and I passed that test.

 **End Chapter 7**

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 **Author's Note:**

I hope you liked the new chapter! Sorry about the long wait, college has been my mistress for the past week.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin' duh.

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"What does Baki want now?" Kaoru groaned, using his best nasally whiny voice, the one that was sure to tick me off. I felt a blood vessel pound in my forehead. I had been dealing with my teammates' griping and groaning since early this morning when I had arrived at their apartment to find them still in bed, and it was starting to get really old.

"I don't know but he better say it fast 'cause I'm _hungry_." His twin replied from my other side, his voice sounding less whiny and more disgruntled as he rubbed his stomach. I just sighed, rubbing my forehead and trying to convince myself not to smack the both of them upside the head for being so damn irritating.

"I'm just as pissed as you but would you please. Stop. **Whining!** " I groaned, sick of hearing it. They sulked, using their patented pouty faces as they crossed their arms and huffed in sync with each other, doing that weird twin thing that they loved to do.

As we finally reached the welcome shade of the building where we always received our missions, some of the tension eased from my shoulders. Part of the reason I was so cranky was due to the heat. As a Ninja from the Village Hidden in the Sand I shouldn't let the heat bother me, considering I did live in the desert, but sometimes it was simply too bright and too fucking hot. This was true especially first thing in the morning after having to drag my stupid teammates kicking and screaming from their beds by their toenails.

As we finally got to the debriefing room, our team leader, Baki, was waiting for us, looking just as grumpy and impatient as usual. "Hey there Baki, what's up?" Hikaru asked, exhibiting another one of his mood swings and now sounding downright cheerful. I rolled my eyes to the heavens, silently hoping that by some miracle I would scrounge up enough patience to deal with my foolish team mates.

It's not that I wasn't fond of the boys, but they certainly did get on my nerves, particularly under these circumstances. Neither one of the twins was a morning person, so getting them up to answer a summons, such as this one, was always a hassle.

Not one to mince words, Baki quickly informed us that we were to participate in the Chunin exams this year, being held in the Leaf Village. I blinked in surprise, not really having expected that to be the reason he had summoned us. I couldn't help but feel excited at the prospect of becoming a Chunin, and it immediately put me in a better mood.

"All right! Field trip!" Hikaru punched the air with his fist, exhibiting his enthusiasm for leaving the village. While both twins that made up my squad were very enthusiastic, bordering on sugar rush hyper, Hikaru was more a man of action, always eager to get out and go do something. Kaoru was happier just lazing about reading, and sleeping in was one of his more famous hobbies.

"You will be joining my other squad," Baki continued, surprising the three of us.

We all knew that he was the team leader of another squad. Since qualified Sand Ninja were in high demand, it was not overly uncommon for a Jonin to have two teams to supervise. But Baki had never spoken about his other team before willingly and had easily fielded off any questions we had posed to him; essentially saying that it was none of our business. Before anyone could inquire further into this new development, he continued, "My other squad is taking part in a top secret mission. The Chunin exams are mostly just a cover for their mission. You will be providing backup to them."

"What kind of mission? What are they doing?" Kaoru inquired, always nosy. Of the two he was slightly more cunning, and thus was better at planning and information gathering, but this also gave him a somewhat unhealthy curiosity and had him sticking his nose where it sometimes shouldn't be stuck.

"The top secret kind" Baki responded, sounding exasperated, "So you will be given information on an as needed basis." And making sure that none of us would complain, by giving us all the evil eye, he finished, "Meet me at the entrance to the village in 2 hours, we will be leaving then. You are dismissed."

I sighed, from experience I knew 'as needed' typically meant 'not until the enemy smacks you upside the head.' Baki was a strict Team Leader, and if the mission was secret it was SECRET, complete with padlock, code words, and no remorse.

We left, Kaoru sulking again, his nose in the air and refusing to talk. He and his twin ambled off to their apartment to pack a few belongings. As ninjas we packed light, but it was still important to get a few necessities. I likewise made my way to my apartment, a huge step up from my old beat down hovel. I finally had a bed; I had a working door, and windows. It was quite fantastic, and I loved it. My personal space was something I cherished, since I spent any time not training, or on missions, pretty much unsociable and in my apartment. Of course that was minimal at best, since I occupied 98% of my time in the village either on the training fields pushing myself harder than was probably healthy.

I quickly packed some few belongings, mainly just one or two changes of clothes for the road and my toiletries. I didn't have a lot of clothes in general, like most ninja I stuck with an outfit that I was comfortable in and knew like the back of my hand. It was easier to always wear the same thing, because then you knew exactly how your clothes stretched and pulled while fighting. It was also important to keep all your supplies in the same places, that way whenever you needed something you could get it fast.

I favored a stretchy black shirt of a light material, snug from my collar to my wrists, and down to my hips, over which I wore a breast plate made of leather that covered my chest and was held in place by crossing straps over my back. I also wore shoulder guards and wrist guards. Around my hips I typically wore a white skirt, of very light material, the hem around my knees and slit all the way up on both sides, under which I wore black pants, also snug but stretchy. I wore ninja boots, the tops coming to below my knees and the toes cut out for mobility with a thong between my toes. I kept kunai knives in the tops of my boots and shurikens attached to a strap around my thighs, over the hilts for my short swords. I also commonly carried other supplies in pouches that I either strapped to my hips or I had a bag that I could attach to the straps on my back.

I strapped on all my weapons, slung my bag over my back, strapping it into place so it wouldn't swing around, attached all my supply pouches to my belt and threw on my guards, stuffing a few extra changes of shirts and pants in the bag on my back along with all my other supplies. The whole process of packing was over in a matter of minutes and I quickly exited my quarters, going to meet up with my teammates.

Naturally they were late, and I had to go track them down. After an inordinate amount of time I managed to locate them, in an ice cream shop of all things, and I dragged them to their apartment by their ears and supervised while they packed to make sure they wouldn't get sidetracked again.

It was always this way. Despite irritating the heck out of me on a near constant basis, I was rather fond of my ditzy teammates. I still maintained a certain amount of emotional distance, an instinct that I now found impossible to give up, but I allowed myself some affection when it came to the two red-headed idiots.

After an inordinate amount of fussing over which clothes to bring, I finally managed to get both twins packed and on the way to the designated meet up point, the village gates.

"Did you have to hit us so hard?" Kaoru complained while rubbing the spot on his head where it had collided with his twin's.

"Yes." I replied calmly. Not feeling the need to go into my reasoning behind the method of inspiration to get them to hurry up and get their butts out the door.

The rest of the trek to the gate was mostly uneventful, both twins sulking a little from what they called my "domestic violence." So I was feeling relatively calm by the time we got there, able to suppress the irritation from the hassle my teammates always provided. Upon arriving at the gate, I noticed that the other team must have arrived before us. There were already three people assembled with bags. I looked them over, curious to see the team that Baki was always so careful not to say anything about.

And immediately I knew why. There standing with his arms crossed, exuding a menacing aura that was perceptible even at this range, was Gaara.

 **End Chapter 8**

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Author's Note:

So...Hope you guys liked seeing Gaara again! Don't worry, there's much more Gaara to come. Sorry this was such a short chapter.

Review if you want the next part sooner, otherwise it's not gonna be until next weekend. Depending on how many people review, I may get the next chapter out in a day or two. Ooooooooohhh ... You tempted?

;-)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything! If I did would I be writing fanfiction?

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 _There standing with his arms crossed, exuding a menacing aura that was perceptible even at this range, was Gaara._

All the air escaped from my lungs with an audible " _ **Whoosh**_ ", and suddenly I was lightheaded, enough so that I had to wonder if the earth had suddenly rotated upside down. Thankfully my ditzy teammates were too distracted by Gaara themselves to pay much attention to my reaction. His reputation preceded him and their flamboyant personalities were uncharacteristically wilting on either side of me.

I hadn't seen him since we were both five years old. During the brief times when I was outside of either the training grounds or my apartment, I would imagine that I had seen a flash of red and wonder if I had seen him in passing, but when I turned to look he was always gone.

I had heard the rumors of course; everyone was always muttering and whispering about the evil son of the Kazekage. According to everything I had overheard, which wasn't all that much, since I tended to avoid other people, Gaara had become some sort of serial killer, murdering anyone who so much as looked at him funny. It had been impossible for me to believe the few snippets I had heard, about how he had mangled and killed this person's mother or that person's brother. He was most always alone, very rarely seen wandering with his brother and sister tagging along. Apparently he was rather unsociable. It was rare for him to be out and about, so whenever he made an appearance there was quite a stir.

I wasn't sure where he spent all his time, or why I hadn't seen him in so long. How had I managed to not see him for 9 years when we lived in the same village? Apparently he came out enough to randomly terrorize the villages' citizens, so how had we not crossed paths before now? It was probably because I was mostly unsociable, staying mainly in my apartment, or at the training grounds, or on missions. I had given up on seeing him so many years ago that I never really sought him out, too emotionally traumatized to risk hurting myself again.

Now, seeing him after all these years, the memories flooded back. The emotions that I had long since buried swamped me. I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. All I could do was stand there and stare at him like an idiot, absorbing his presence.

He looked so similar to the way I remembered him, and yet so different. His hair was the same shocking shade of blood red, his eyes the same piercing light green with coal black rings, and just as oddly with very little pupil to speak of. He still didn't have eyebrows, much to my amusement; I had thought that maybe they would grow in over time. He was much taller than I remembered. Of course I had also grown; we were about the same height now. He had been a little shorter than me when we were kids. And he had a red tattoo on his forehead, or at least it appeared to be a tattoo, as bright red as his hair, the kanji for love.

Under any other circumstances, the idea of a guy having the kanji for love tattooed on his forehead was laughable, but with Gaara … not so much. Strangely it increased his "I Am Bad" aura substantially, and I instinctively knew that there was a story behind it.

Despite his similar appearance, his entire demeanor was different, a vast change from how I remembered him. The shy, fearful boy longing for love and affection, the young boy that had been my eager companion, my first friend had changed into someone I hardly recognized. He was no longer shy or fearful, but rather his entire being screamed "Danger." All that I could see in his eyes was intense hatred and darkness seething in the depths of his soul.

It had been so long since I last saw him, long years of thinking about him, wishing that I knew how to find him and at the same time too afraid to seek him out. I had spent a good amount of my nights picturing his face, wishing that I could once again be with my friend, the one who still remained closest to my heart. I missed him so much. It had felt like a constant ache in my chest, like I couldn't breathe at times. The hurt had gone beyond the emotional, the loneliness turning into physical pain.

And now, to see him again, after all these years, abruptly and without any sort of warning, I was utterly shell shocked and completely incapable of movement. I felt numb, like the shock of seeing him had somehow shorted out my nervous system, and now I was paralyzed. My vision warped and for a brief second I thought that I might pass out, but thankfully I was able to steady myself somewhat.

As I slowly regained some sense of lucidity I realized that I was gazing into his eyes like a moron, which meant several things. One, that I had been staring at him for far too long and probably looked somewhat mentally unstable. Two, that he had noticed me staring and had glared back at me, which meant that I was now making prolonged awkward eye contact with him. And three, that I was suddenly and utterly embarrassed and absurdly shy.

I regained my ability to breath with a startled gasp and abruptly averted my eyes, trying very hard not to blush, but feeling the tell tail warmth begin to radiate from my face anyways. Along with my sudden new exploration into the world of shyness, which was quickly turning into an exceptionally unpleasant journey, I had growing elation building inside my heart. Despite the odd circumstances, despite his new angry persona, I was so happy to have found him again. The euphoria was such that I experienced an immediate intense urge to go and hug him. I longed to embrace him the way I used to be able to, in the way that I had dreamt of doing for so long, now that he was here and not just a dream.

Thankfully my new shyness saved my hide and prevented me from making an even bigger fool of myself. It's a good thing that my bashfulness held me back because I sincerely doubted that he would have appreciated me throwing myself at him, considering the evil look in his eyes when he had met mine.

My inexplicable paralysis was thankfully broken by Baki's arrival. I had never been so happy to see my grumpy team leader in my life. I hesitantly approached the gate, avoiding Gaara's eyes, which I could still feel nailing me between the eyes. I was exceptionally nervous around my old friend, unsure how to act around him, my whole world shaken. Actually I doubt I would be any less unbalanced if suddenly the entire world flipped upside down and the sky became the ground. Although I suppose that would be strange.

Baki never was one to mince words, so it was no surprise that he didn't speak, only motioned for us to all move out. I took up a position some way behind Gaara. There was no time to talk but I kept finding my eyes drawn to him. I memorized the way he moved now, more aggressive, more confidant, more predatory. I took note of the gourd he was carrying, which was probably full of sand. But mostly I just watched him, allowing my eyes to trace his oh-so-familiar features, those features that I had once loved, only now more mature. The years had treated him well, despite apparently ruining his attitude. His features were unique and handsome. He had turned into quite the attractive teenager.

It felt a little odd to be thinking about him that way, but I supposed it made sense. I had loved him after all, and I still did, though I was currently in the process of picking up all the little worms from the busted can in my heart. The worms were proving very difficult to wrestle into submission, all scattered everywhere on the floors, walls, and even ceiling of my heart. All sorts of emotions were pouring into me, emotions that I had long repressed.

It felt like chaos reigned inside of my soul.

And add into all that drama new feelings of attraction and wonderful pubescent hormones? _Nuh-uh. No thank you. Not today_. I had enough on my plate as it was, too many worms to clean up. It was a hot mess. For a moment I considered missing a step so that I could have an excuse to do a face-plant into the next sand dune, thinking that maybe that would knock some sense into my suddenly screwy head, but I doubted that it would help. It would probably only result in me getting sand in my ears, which was a sensation that I particularly despised.

What made the whole thing worse was that it seemed as though he was also aware of my presence and glanced back at me from time to time with curiosity and a good amount of hostility. I was probably annoying him. I tried my very best to push down all my feelings involving him, including the hope that he still remembered me.

I wasn't afraid of him, certainly not in the way that my teammates were. The twins were loitering way in the back, as far away from him as they could get. Even his siblings were giving him a wide berth. I knew first-hand how strong he was, I had seen him in action several times when he was a child, and I was sure that his power had only increased in strength since then. But strangely, despite all of the reasons I should be afraid of him, I wasn't. He made me nervous enough that I felt clammy and shaky all over, but not out of fear.

The kind of fear that I felt was more directed towards myself and my tumultuous emotions. I didn't really know how to feel at the moment, and that was frightening. Along with all the surfacing of old feelings, the new feelings were just as frightening, if not more so. Finding myself attracted to my old friend was certainly not something that I had ever planned on, especially since I had never really experienced anything like it before. All the other girls my age were constantly twittering on and on about this boy or that boy, but I had always thought they were just … well kind of stupid to be honest. I hadn't understood it at all. I kept my emotions tightly controlled, and so the fact that everything inside of me had become wild and unleashed was a terrifying experience.

We ran all day, the hot sun beating down on us and the sand getting in all the crevices in our bodies, leaving us all uncomfortable and cranky. Once the sun started to set we finally stopped to pitch tents and eat dinner. I still hadn't gathered enough courage to approach Gaara, my head still spinning from the shock of finally seeing him again. On the one hand, I desperately wanted to talk to him, to ask him where he had gone and why he had left me all those years ago.

On the other hand … not so much. He was so different from how I remembered him that I didn't know how I would even start up a conversation, much less ask him such intense questions. I didn't even know if he even remembered me; he hadn't given any indication that he did.

Torn, I was unable to make a decision, and my opportunities passed by untaken. Soon it was time to go to bed, and even though I usually refrained from sleeping while in close quarters with other people, I was exhausted by the day's events and felt the need to rest my head. I lay in the tent set up for my team, and carefully set up a few barriers held in place with chakra, ones that would prevent me from lashing out and whacking my teammates and also would muffle the sound of any screams that I might make during the night.

Due to bone deep weariness, both from physical exertion and simply emotional exhaustion from the rollercoaster that was today, I immediately fell asleep. Right into one of my dreaded nightmares.

Into darkness.

I couldn't see, but I could smell, the smell of trash, piss, blood and sweat. I could feel glass digging into my skin from everywhere, shredding my flesh raw. I couldn't breathe, my ribs were crushed under some weight, I couldn't scream. There was no story line in my nightmare, simply terror. Only pain and a voice telling me that I would always be alone, always hated and unwanted, just trash to be disposed of.

I woke up in a cold sweat, panting and deeply grateful to the foresight that had prompted me to set up the barriers. My teammates were still sound asleep, undisturbed by my abnormal nocturnal behavior.

 _Well, there's no way I'm going back to sleep after that,_ I thought as I carefully extracted myself from the tent. I quietly left the tent area, noting that someone had let the coals in the campfire die down just a little too much, and I shivered in the freezing desert night, and padded up the nearest dune. I wanted to watch the stars and take my mind of off my stupid brain and it's penchant for sending nasty thoughts into my sleepy subconscious.

I was abruptly brought to a halt at the top of the dune when I saw a sight even more arresting than the desert sky.

It was Gaara, a little further down the dune, standing with his head tilted back and gazing at the stars, just as I had planned on doing. But he was much more beautiful to watch than any stars, and I found myself mesmerized. His red hair, normally vibrantly the color of blood had deepened to the darkest crimson touched with the silver light of the moon. His charcoal rimed eyes glowed in the subtle light, appearing like two glittering gems in his expressionless face, like a beautiful statue. But what really captured my attention was the cloud of wispy sand undulating around him, nearly invisible. I was only able to perceive the delicate granules that were currently dancing gracefully in the air around Gaara's still form due to the light catching them and turning them into millions of tiny stars.

The beautiful sight drew me, and I was unable to stop myself from scaling the dune on which he stood. I stopped a little ways away from him, not wanting to disturb him. He almost looked peaceful. Except for that menacing dark aura that seemed to constantly tail him, almost like a shadow.

I sat down, still gazing at him, unable to help myself, wishing that I could talk to him. Technically I knew I could go over there, there wasn't anything stopping me, but just the thought of doing so had me feeling like I had jumped off a cliff, complete with all those stupid stomach aerobatics. And so I simply sat there. Eventually my eyes drifted shut, just feeling happy even being this close to him.

My quiet contemplation was abruptly interrupted by the crunchy sound of sand and the equally gravelly sound of Gaara's voice, "What do you want?"

I jumped, surprised by the sound of his voice, so familiar and yet deeper, rougher. It was actually quite pleasant, and sent strange chills down my spine. I looked up to see he had turned towards me, walked a little closer, and was now standing with his arms crossed glaring down his nose at me with those intensely pale eyes surrounded by darkness.

I cleared my throat, the unpleasant loop-de-loops in my stomach distracting me somewhat, "Just star gazing" I mumbled hoarsely. I frowned, surprised by the sound of my own voice and cleared my throat again.

He tilted his head back a bit, to more intensely stare down at me, "You were staring at me today. Why? Are you intending on attacking me?" his voice took on a distinct aggressive note.

The breath stalled in my chest, the tiny hope that I had done my best to snuff into oblivion suddenly sending sharp pangs through my chest as he accomplished what I couldn't and crushed in mercilessly. The pain that came from realizing that he didn't remember me was stronger than I would have thought, under the impression that I had wrestled myself somewhat under control. The fact that he didn't remember me wasn't too surprising, which is exactly why I had tried not to hold out any hope for it. At this point it seemed that he was so steeped in anger, he probably only had bad memories of his childhood now.

I swallowed thickly, not prepared for the rush of sorrow I now experienced.

Quickly smacking all my stupid emotions back into submission with a giant mental hammer, I hurried to respond when he took a threatening step forwards. The last thing I wanted was to actually get into a physical altercation with him. "No! No, I'm just going to the Chunin exams. Like you." I waved my arms in the air in a placating manner.

"Then why were you staring?" he asked aggressively, taking another threatening step in my direction.

I held my ground, resisting the urge to scoot back on my butt. I was entranced by his dangerously gleaming eyes and the way his sand was now more visible, ropes of the glittering strands sinuously twining through the air around him.

"I … I just …" I stammered, caught off guard and unable to form a cohesive sentence.

"Tell me!" he demanded, his voice lowering to a dangerous growl, his sand swirling violently now.

I responded to the embarrassment of the situation with a knee jerk reaction. I had never reacted well to embarrassment and almost automatically switched over to anger to protect myself from the unpleasant emotion, "It shouldn't be a big deal, lots of people stare at you!" I responded, almost immediately regretting my words. I flinched wanting to smack myself upside the head for my stupidity.

I expected him to become incensed, so I was surprised when he paused, seemingly contemplative, "Your eyes are different. The way you look at me is different. I want to know why." He glared, demanding an answer.

I blushed and refused to look at him, sitting down more firmly in the sand obstinately and turned away, staring up at the stars, not wanting to explain myself to him. I wasn't about to get into a conversation highlighting the difference between the hateful, terrified stare that he was used to and a stare that contained the sorts of emotions I had been wrestling with all day.

He growled again and I heard him, barely, as he padded towards me across the sand. Suddenly he was blocking my view of the sky because he was standing in front of me, close enough that his toes nearly touched my crossed legs. Now I found myself looking up his body to his crossed arms and scowling face. I hissed, jerking back with surprise at the sudden proximity and physical intimidation. Suddenly being so close to him without any warning sent my heart racing in every direction, unable to decide whether it wanted to attempt to escape through my mouth, getting stuck in my throat in the process, or go in the opposite direction and bounce around my stomach region giving me an upset digestive system.

The shock and sudden physical discomfort of my insides going nuts, and the abrupt surge of adrenaline all served to piss me off, an emotion that I embraced as a shield against all those other pesky emotions ping ponging around my system caused by his proximity.

He was glaring down his nose at me again. This time I glared right back. We stayed glaring at each other for a long moment, neither of us backing down.

The staring contest was abruptly broken in the strangest, rudest way possible. A sudden breeze from behind him sent the white sash that was dangling between his legs flapping into my face. I sputtered at the abrupt slap in the face and batted at the incredibly rude article of clothing, offended.

I heard him snort. "Well obviously you're not an assassin …" he scoffed, making fun of me. He just stood there, slowly smirking down at me as he watched the amusing spectacle, making no move to stop it from happening.

I glared up at him and huffed, seriously ticked off. I couldn't believe him, just looming over me and enjoying my discomfort! I narrowed my eyes at him, daring him to laugh, and then yelped when another breeze came through and sent the white material right back into my face. "Could you please get your loincloth out of my face!" I sputtered as I smacked it once again out of my eyes and mouth.

He didn't budge, just watching me contemplatively, his eyes showing both amusement and intrigue. I waited, and when a third breeze rustled the cloth warningly I was ready and snatched it out of the air before it could whap me across my face once again. I gripped his sash and snarled up at him, beyond pissed off now. "If you would be so kind as to remove this from in front of me…" I hissed, giving the sash a little tug for emphasis.

He tensed and glared down at me, his eyes bright slits within the dark markings. He was obviously incensed that I had dared to actually grab the offending material, and also seemed shocked that I was not afraid or intimidated by him, or at least not showing it. After a long tense moment in which I had to wonder if he was planning on doing some damage, his body slowly relaxed and his face smoothed out. I released my hold on his sash, deciding I had held the tiger by the tail for long enough. Surprisingly he stepped to the side, freeing my view of the sky and stood next to me instead. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, wondering why he hadn't attempted to kill me, since that would be what his reputation suggested he would do.

After a long moment of silence he said, "You still didn't answer my question …"

"My, what a brilliant observation …" I muttered sarcastically, earning another growl.

I was becoming dangerously fond of the low raspy tone, the sound sending pleasant shudders through my body. And the reasons would remain unknown, because I refused to let my mind wander down that path any further than it already had. That road was one long, slippery slide down into a dark hole full of what I was sure was even more pain and loneliness. Thankfully he didn't push, seemingly content to just join me in my star gazing, though from time to time I could feel his stare burning the top of my head.

 **End Chapter 9**

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Author's note:

Wow, longest chapter yet! Thank you to everyone who gave me such wonderful reviews, you're what made this chapter possible in such a short amount of time. It really does prompt me to post faster. Knowing that this story gives some people joy makes it all worthwhile. I hope everyone liked the new chapter. :-)

BTW, if anyone knows who the twins are tell me in a review ... you'll get an imaginary cookie. They aren't OC I borrowed them from another anime.

Oh, and everyone is 14 now, just so ya know. I know they were a little younger in the chunin exams, but I decided to make them a little older.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Do I really need to do this for every chapter?

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The next day I kept noticing that Gaara was watching me. His penetrating stare never ceased to send ripples of awareness across my skin, and I always knew when that unblinking jade gaze was trained on my back. But far from freaking me out, as it probably should have, it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to know that he was thinking about me.

Of course, he was probably coming up with inventive ways to try and kill me with his sand . . .

I tried not to stare at him so obviously, still a bit embarrassed from last night and him calling me out on my newest pastime that I had been developing. Better not turn Gaara-gazing into my new hobby, I had a feeling it could get me in trouble.

Once again we ran all day, only taking brisk breaks to eat and relieve ourselves. The pace was exhausting, but then again, traveling between shinobi villages had never been a walk in the park. The Sand Village and Leaf Village were easily three days apart, and that was at a running pace. But we were all ninja, and we had been trained for this sort of shit, physical strain was unpleasant but just part of the job.

At the end of the strenuous day, even though I was exhausted, I didn't even bother to bed down in the tent that night, already able to predict another nightmare. While I had been lucky not to wake anyone last night, I didn't want to push my luck. Tonight I decided that it would be best for me to simply lie in a tree some ways away from the campsite in case I did fall asleep.

Trees were rather unusual to me still. Though I had seen enough out on missions to be somewhat familiar with them by now, they still seemed odd. I rather liked the idea of sleeping in a tree, if I was actually able to get to sleep, which in itself was rather doubtful.

Once I found a relatively low hanging branch located in a tree just out of sight from camp, I hopped up and lay back, not surprised that it wasn't the most comfortable resting place, but still quite pleased. Surprisingly I actually did manage to fall asleep.

As soon as I fell asleep, I found myself running down dark streets. I was fleeing from something, something terrifying. Everything was blurry and indistinct, the road indistinguishable from any other. It was dark and dank and smelled like trash, urine and vomit, a scent from my childhood that was often present in my dreamscape.

Suddenly, as I turned a corner in the street Gaara reached out his hand and grabbed mine, pulling me down a narrow alley. He and I were children and we ran together down the alley, yet as we emerged from the other side we were our current age. Gaara's hand in mine was warm and solid and I clung to it as though it was my life line. Still terrified, still running through the dark, that one single point of contact with my friend kept me sane in the darkness of the nightmare.

And then, despite my cries to stay with me, despite my clinging fingers, somehow his hand slipped from mine and he ran ahead of me, disappearing into the darkness and oblivion. I raced after him, trying to catch up but unable to do so. I ran harder, trying to catch up to him, to run faster, and yet it felt like I was running through thick molasses, like the darkness in the air was actually physically present and prevented me from moving fast enough to reach him.

It was impossible, and struck with despair, I collapsed in the dark street, sobbing and rocking myself back and forth, feeling afraid and alone. In the darkness were voices, voices telling me all those things, everything that I would never have, everything that I wasn't. I moaned, covering my ears and curling into myself, my forehead touching my knees as I bowed inwards.

Abruptly I felt something coming, something hunting me. My terror mounted quickly and I scrambled to my feet once again. I had to run. I had to get away. My feet wouldn't cooperate, the ground uneven, the darkness making me dizzy, and I fell, landing hard and skidding across the ground. I staggered to my feet, only to fall again. Over and over, and it felt like the road was made of shards of glass, tearing my skin every time I stumbled. The scent of blood made me gag.

Suddenly, and inexplicably I knew that Gaara was the thing that I was now afraid of, that he was the thing I was running from. He was the terror in the dark, hunting the first time in my life I was afraid of him.

And I ran.

I ran from him into the dark terror of the nightmare, the shadows clogging my subconscious and warping reality. A dull roar slowly filtered into my ears and in some small corner of my mind I remembered the source of that particular noise, the sound of a massive wave of sand descending.

A terrifying force hit me from behind and I crashed into the wall in front of me. In my dream state of mind the physical sensation of pain from being crushed by a hundred tons of sand and then smashed into a solid surface headfirst was muted, although I dimly realized that it should have hurt quite a lot. The force of the sand disappeared and I turned slowly.

I found myself backed against a wall, facing Gaara as he prowled closer, my fear spiking in my chest.

He had cornered me, trapped me, and I was now helpless in the nightmare, possessing no power. My breath came in quick pants as he got closer and closer, coming out of the shadows. As I slowly saw more and more of him, and he crept closer and closer to me, the stark terror from before began to ebb, morphing into something else.

Even in the dream I knew I had never felt this way before and I was confused, unsure what to call this strange emotion, and the way my heart jumped eagerly at the pulse point in my throat. I wasn't sure I liked these new sensations running through my body and I tensed as Gaara slowly walked closer and closer to me, and I was trembling by the time he reached me. He got much too close, his face right in front of mine. We stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, the tension in the air almost palpable, and I gasped. He no longer frightened me, at least not in the same way. He slowly blinked and then leaned in, drawing his face to mine, closing those last few inches of precious personal space.

I yelped his name in shock and jerked back, not sure what was about to happen but knowing that I wasn't ready for it. And then I was falling.

I woke with a small scream to find myself falling out of the tree I had fallen asleep in. With a few choice curse words I managed to right myself, grabbing the branch in a bear hug and ending up dangling beneath it with both my arms and legs wrapped around it. I was panting and flushed, totally thrown for a loop by the strange dream. Quite literally, since I had tossed myself off my perch.

"Bad dream?" The signature gravelly voice shocked me and I yelped, nearly falling again. I looked up to find Gaara sitting on the branch above the one I had been on and I stared up at him in shock. The ability to form sentences was impossible to conjure after the disturbing dream I had just had, starring him. Seeing him right after I woke up from _that_ was unnerving.

I managed to scramble back onto the branch, not really feeling like pretending to be some sort of monkey and continue to hang on in that ridiculous fashion. I lay there for a moment, trying to catch my breath from the double whammy.

"Did I kill you?" I peered up at Gaara with what was probably a very strange expression. I felt my eye twitch. It didn't feel particularly good.

"No. Why?"

He shrugged, leaning an elbow on one propped up knee in a casually relaxed position. "You said my name in a peculiar manner."

I turned beet red. _Oh hell no._

"Ehm … No …" He blinked. I suspected that he didn't believe me.

I turned away from him and jumped out of the tree, not keen on prolonging this unpleasant conversation. I was still shaken up from the strange undercurrents in the dream, still trying to work out what it all meant. The emotions that had been stirred within me were new and frightening, and I had had enough of that to last me a life time.

I wandered around for the rest of the night, pausing here and there to admire the forest in the moonlight or to stargaze. By the time dawn was approaching I had made a full circuit around the campsite.

We set off early in the morning again, and thankfully reached the Leaf Village by the middle of the day. I didn't know how much more of this I could take. Apparently, for whatever reason, I had peeked Gaara's curiosity, and I could feel his stare the entire last part of the trip. By the time we reached the Leaf Village, I was extremely tired and grateful to see the colorful village ahead of us, exhausted emotionally as well as physically.

 **End Chapter 10**

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 **Author's Note:**

Yes, I know it's a little short, but I might be able to get another chapter out before the weekend is over, like last time, if everyone is wonderful and reviews! Really guys, your reviews keep me going, I absolutely love seeing them and they spur me to write more, and faster too.

Thanks to all the wonderful people who have reviewed so far, you guys are fantastic!

And to everyone who had favorited or followed this fic without at least sending me a howdy do... NO CAKE FOR YOU...*scowls*

Anywho...hope you enjoyed the new chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Do I own Naruto? Let me think...no.

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After we arrived in the Village Hidden in the Leaves and had shown our passports to the ninja guarding the front gates, Baki led us to the hotel that he had arranged for us to stay in. My team and I decided to go ahead and unpack while Kankuro and Temari went to explore the village.

It took a while for my team mates to unpack, considering they had packed perhaps more clothes then absolutely necessary, and they were so picky about hanging them up just right. I rolled my eyes, not particularly impressed but still somewhat amused by their antics as they fussed with each other over whether this or that article of clothing should be hung with pins, or on the hanger, or whether it needed the hanger with the foam pads. Blah, blah, blah.

After a long several hours in which I very nearly experienced a fashion induced coma, we heard the other team arrive in their room in a very noisy manner. Temari was in the process of chewing Kankuro out for something, and Kaoru, being always curious and nosy, insisted that we go over and investigate. We trotted over to their room, lingering in the open doorway unnoticed.

As we eavesdropped, we heard about how Kankuro had picked a fight with some of the locals. _No surprise there._ I rolled my eyes, walked further into the room and bopped him on the head. I may not know him very well, but I still felt like it was important to express my opinion on the matter.

"Hey! What was that for?" he exclaimed, rubbing his head and looking at me, shocked and offended.

"For being a dumbass. Seriously? The first thing you do is pick a fight with a kid half our age?" I glared at him, from what I had gathered on our trip here I already knew he was a bit of an idiot.

Temari snickered. Gaara just scowled. Kankuro grumbled.

I sighed and gave up on him, throwing my hands up and walking away exasperated. Kaoru and Hikaru followed, giving Kankuro sympathetic glances over their shoulders. Hikaru offered by way of apology, "Yeah, don't worry about it she gets like this all the time."

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, giving him my special brand of stink eye. He stiffened and hustled back to the room.

Right as we were walking out I heard Kankuro mutter, "Damn she's almost as scary as you are Temari." And I heard Temari laugh. We would all probably get along just fine.

We all ate in our respective rooms, so I didn't get to see Gaara again that evening which was disappointing; however I did get a good amount of enjoyment from beaning Hikaru with a rice ball in between the eyes while he was doing an exceedingly silly impression of me smacking Kankuro upside the head. The explosion of rice made for an awesome spectacle.

That night, after cleaning all the rice off our beds, I set up a wind barrier around myself after Kaoru and Hikaru are already asleep. It wasn't difficult given that they were sawing logs as soon as their heads hit the pillows. The barriers would muffle any stupid sounds that I made and would contain my movements so that I wouldn't accidently punch one of the twins or send the bedside lamp flying in their direction. I definitely didn't want a repeat of last night with someone overhearing me.

Naturally I had yet another nightmare and once again woke in a cold sweat, with a hoarse throat, thankful for my wind barrier jutsu that protected my pride. After catching my breath, I decided to go and climb up on the roof of the inn, hoping to get some cool air and relieve the lingering uneasiness from the dream.

After a nightmare, depending on how bad it was, I would be shaky or sometimes downright violently shivering. Thankfully this one hadn't been too bad, so I was only a little sweaty and trembling ever so slightly, which meant that climbing out of the window with the intent of getting up onto the roof wasn't a deadly idea.

I hopped out of the window onto the sill and easily scaled the side of the building, gracefully and silently swinging up onto the roof shingles. I picked a spot in the middle of the roof with a good view of the nearly full moon, not noticing Gaara lurking in the shadows.

I lay back against the unfamiliar roof tiles, more used to the sandstone domes back home. The sky wasn't as beautiful either, the stars somewhat obscured by clouds and atmosphere. Yet it was still peaceful, and I found myself soothed. There had always been something about the night sky that helped me to chill out after a nightmare.

I rested there for the last few hours of the night, just watching as the stars slowly shifted in the sky, perhaps dosing once or twice, never realizing that I was being watched from the darkness.

Once the sky began to lighten I rose and slid back down the wall, landing on the sill and entering the room. As usual I was the first in the shower, the first one ready, and the one who had to rouse the boys.

I sighed and squatted down between their heads, cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, "GET UP!" as loud as I could.

Hikaru jerked violently, flip flopping himself off the bed like a fish on a boat, completely tangled in sheets. He lay there on the ground, glaring up at me as I smirked. It never got old.

Kaoru on the other hand just snagged his brother's pillow and yanked it over his head, burrowing under the covers more snuggly. Hikaru slunk off into the bathrooms to get ready as I dealt with his lazy-ass brother.

It was easy enough, and we were soon out the door, on the way to get breakfast before our first exam, Kaoru rubbing his red ear and scowling. Hey, it wasn't my fault he was an exceptionally difficult person to get up…sometimes you had to pinch hard to get a reaction from the guy.

Breakfast was whatever we found on the way. We stopped in a little Ramen shop, and yes we had Ramen for breakfast. Sometimes you just have to go with what's most convenient. And really, I thoroughly enjoyed my breakfast. It certainly perked up the twins, so by the time we reached the exams, we were all friends again.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the first exam, but as one would assume, I was a little nervous.

Once in the exam room, after completely ignoring the strange loud boy with the yellow hair, we sat down to a paper test, which really seemed a bit odd. I certainly wouldn't have thought that this would be how we started off the Chunin exams. But whatever. This was the challenge assigned, so this was what I was going to do dammit.

After a few minutes, it was easy enough to figure out that we were supposed to cheat, and the test was really on how well we could gain information without getting caught. When I looked around I noticed that Kankuro was using one of his puppets. Hikaru and Kaoru were using their creepy twin telepathy thing again. I couldn't see Temari, so I didn't know what she was doing, but I was sure that she had some sort of plan up her sleeve. It was easy enough for me to focus a little chakra into a small breeze and then tune my ears into the wind to pick up answers that were being muttered under the breaths of the other students.

As I silently directed my little breeze around the room, my right eye inexplicably became ridiculously itchy. It felt like I had sand in my eye. And then my mind got just a little fuzzy as I glanced over my page. Having been around Hikaru and Kaoru long enough to pick up a mind jutsu, I recognized the signature sensation of having someone else lurking in your head, which was one of the oddest sensations to experience. I shut off sensory input, allowing the individual access to my eye as I used meditation to seek out the imposter in my head and oust him or her.

I quickly found them, lurking in a corner, behind a metaphorical curtain, still sifting through the information on my paper. I sent a preliminary subconscious tendril to determine the identity of the intruder, simply using my meditation as a focus and picturing what I wanted to do in my head. I snagged them, and suddenly became intensely aware of Gaara. I immediately knew it was him using my eye without my permission, which frankly I found incredibly rude.

From the first brush of my consciousness against his, I recognized his signature chakra. If chakra had a sensory feel to it, Gaara's would probably feel hot, and taste and smell like strong spice, and look like glowing red grains of sand. It was very distinctive, at least to me. I sucked in some air, surprised and more than a little unsettled by having his presence in my head. That kind of contact was way to intimate for my sense of self-preservation; he could stumble across anything in there, like why I had been staring at him, and even worse, my newfound hormones!

 _Oh hell no!_

While I still loved my friend, he was currently a bit of a dumbass, and I did not want him ping ponging around in my noggin. I quickly proceeded to attempt to oust him from my head, wrapping my chakra around his, the little that was his foothold in my head, and squeezed. Again, the sensation of my chakra against his chakra was comparable to the sensation of bare skin against bare skin, in other words, way too intimate for my peace of mind. In those few short seconds I had a stronger imprint of his self onto mine than I had had in probably ever.

Harboring feelings for the guy didn't help my situation at all. He quickly retreated from my head after I had made his stay too uncomfortable, my eye immediately feeling normal. I huffed, disturbed and very irritable.

I felt the need to make my displeasure known, so once I had rounded up my little breeze I sent it in his direction. I directed it to lightly dance around his head, ruffling his hair, blowing in his ears, drying his eyes, tickling his nose, and making a general nuisance of itself. I purposefully did not attach any sensory input to the breeze, not desiring any more contact with him, and I certainly didn't want to know what his hair felt like via breeze. Well actually I did, but I was already on Gaara overload, so I figured it would be unwise. After I had provoked him to the point of making a constant low volume growl I retreated, determining that I had made my point.

The rest of the exam went by relatively smoothly. The next proctor busting through the window was a bit of a surprise, but I had to applaud her for dramatic flair. After being dismissed I quickly returned to my group, my teammates, Kankuro, and Temari already in the hall. I was among the last few to exit, and once out in the hall, most people had already dispersed, wanting to get out of the building as fast as possible after having such an unpleasant experience, so the hall was relatively empty.

I warmly greeted Temari, already predicting that we would be friends, and swatted in the general direction of Kankuro, already mildly fond of him as well. I was in the midst of joking with my team mates when I was abruptly and unceremoniously slammed into the wall by a hand that had magically appeared on my throat.

I hadn't noticed Gaara stalk up behind me until he reached around to grab my neck, at which point ignoring him was impossible. I had already maxed out on Gaara exposure, so suddenly being nose to nose with him was not on my list of things to do, but that's precisely where I suddenly found myself. He had used a good amount of force to slam me against the wall, but thankfully the impact had hit me on my collarbone, not my delicate throat tissue, otherwise I would have been in some deep shit. He held me pinned, with his palm now firmly on my neck, although his angry glare would have probably pinned me just as securely to the wall. That silvery green was suddenly up close and personal for inspection and I noted, in some fuzzy part of my brain that wasn't focused on the proper matter at hand, that he did actually have pupils. It was quite the discovery. And he actually did have eyelashes much to my consternation, they were just very pale red and not noticeable next to the pitch black eye rings.

My attention was sharply drawn back to the important matter of his hand on my throat when he squeezed warningly, apparently noting my lapse in attention. I gasped, and attempted to swallow, his palm somewhat getting in the way. It was yet one more disturbing sensation to add to the quickly growing list in my head.

"What the hell was that in there?" he growled, his voice low and dangerous. I shivered, not the most appropriate response, but then again I was on Gaara overload, so it made sense to me.

"What exactly do you mean?" I whispered, very aware of everyone eyes on us. The hall had suddenly gone very quiet.

"How did you counter my jutsu? And what the fuck was messing with me after you kicked me out of you head?" He pressed in closer, the tips of our noses literally touching, and his sand starting to sway dangerously in my peripheral vision.

"Okay well first of all …" I got just a little fed up with his heavy handed attitude and decided I needed more space for my sanity. I put up a wall of air between us, shoving him back with enough force that he skidded. I was impressed with how gracefully he slid back, using the balls of his feet.

There was a collective gasp from the spectators, particularly Temari and Kankuro, who were probably concerned for my sense of self preservation, since I had just provoked an already pissed off Gaara.

"Quite simply I shoved … and second, if it wasn't obvious, I use wind jutsu … And you deserved it after making my eye feel like it had been given a sand bath." I finished.

Gaara seethed, his sand swaying like so many dangerous vipers coiled to strike. I sighed, determining that he was in too bad a mood to be reasoned with and turned to leave. I felt his sand curl around my ankle, preparing to yank me back and drag me on my belly. Not having any of that, I flicked it off with a little wind. I could hear everyone holding their breath as I exited, waiting to see what Gaara would do next.

I simply went back to the hotel, tired and wanting some peaceful sleep for once.

 **End Chapter 11**

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 **Author's note:**

Yes I do realize that this is not how Gaara's jutsu works, but I felt like it would be kind of cool if he could invade someone's mind and use his third eye jutsu to commandeer their eye.

I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter! Don't forget to review, it makes me post faster...hint hint.

And wonderful warm fuzzy feelings to everyone who does review, you guys are amazing!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. We all know I don't own anything. Let's move on shall we?**

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The next morning, after having finally gotten a decent night's sleep, one of the few, my team and I got suited up and made our way to the place the new proctor had designated for the second exam.

Once we made it to the location, which turned out to be a very tall dangerous looking fence in front of some dark creepy woods we took our place among the crowd, checking out the competition. I couldn't help but notice that the twins seemed especially intent on routing us away from Gaara and his team, probably concerned that we would get into another fight. That was fine with me; I was still a little ticked off with Gaara for acting like such a brat yesterday. He may be a very dangerous brat, but was still a brat nonetheless and it pissed me off.

As we all lined up to listen to the proctor explain the rules, I observed the fence, noting just how tall and sturdy it looked, indicating that it was there to either keep people out, probably for their own safety, or else to keep something/s in. Somehow I suspected it was a little of both. Something told me we would have to go in there. How fun.

Kaoru and Hikaru were careful to set us up on the furthest point away from where Gaara was standing. I sighed; already feeling like their overprotective act might get really old, really quick. I appreciated the sentiment, but I didn't need them to protect me, especially not from Gaara. I wanted to straighten that guy out all on my own, already feeling the challenge stirring up my competitive edge.

I accepted our team's scroll and tucked it out of sight in my tunic, Hikaru came up with the brilliant idea of carrying a decoy scroll, just in case we got beaten by someone, we could hand out the fake. Kaoru made it even better by booby trapping it.

As soon as the signal went off we shot into the forest. Once again, Hikaru and Kaoru pulled me in a direction away from the gate Gaara had gone through. Yep, it was definitely starting to get annoying.

We were lucky for about an hour, or unlucky, however you wanted to look at it. We didn't run into anyone else, so we weren't attacked, but on the other hand we couldn't get a scroll that way. We spent about an hour aimlessly wandering through the woods, in and of itself a place so foreign to us that we were almost immediately unsettled. Being used to the desert, I wasn't really sure what to make of this green world full of creepy crawlies.

After a while I was getting antsy and just wanted to get the scroll and get out of here. Judging by the silence of the characteristically noisy twins beside me, they felt the same way. So it was for this reason that as soon as we heard voices we immediately made our way towards them, not particularly caring who they were, just so long as they had the right scroll.

Naturally as soon as we came into the clearing where the voices were originating from, we found that we had managed to run smack dab into Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, the team that Hikaru and Kaoru had tried so hard to separate us from.

The twins yelped and attempted to make a quick getaway, but of course Gaara had already seen us. The sound of sand cracking like a whip behind us ruined the twins escape plan and they quickly scurried back into the clearing. I sighed, not really wanting to pick another fight with Gaara. Having had the fight yesterday was bad enough; I didn't want any more animosity between us.

"You …." Gaara snarled, obviously still ticked off from yesterday. I groaned, already sick and tired of his nasty attitude.

"Look, Gaara can we just call a truce for yesterday? You pissed me off, I pissed you off, I think we're even." I said on a loud exhale while pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, trying to scrounge up some patience.

His aggressive stance relaxed some and he blinked, his face more curious than aggressive now. It appeared that I had once again bemused him, I suppose he was still unaccustomed to people talking to him in such a manner.

He cocked his head to the side, contemplating me with his unnerving unblinking stare. He appeared to come to a decision and slid into a fighting stance, his posture aggressive, but his expression no longer pissed. "Then fight me." His voice was once again monotone, more curious than angry. It seemed that he wanted to test my resolve.

"Do you have an earth scroll?" I asked. Although curious as to his strength versus mine, I wasn't about to waste my time at the moment if he didn't have what we needed.

Kankuro piped up, sounding nervous but interested, "Actually, you're in luck, we just got this extra earth scroll off a team of weaklings back there. Gaara didn't bother to check if they actually had the right scroll before he attacked." He promptly shut up at a nasty look from Gaara and waved his hands in the air, holding the said scroll.

I eyed the scroll, contemplating my options. On the one hand, we did need that scroll. On the other hand, Gaara probably wasn't planning on going easy on me, and might actually kill me, which wasn't really something I had planned on doing today.

I decided that getting out of these creepy ass woods would be worth the risk, plus I really was interested to see just how strong he had gotten. "Fine. Whoever draws first blood wins and gets the other's scroll. Deal?" I proposed, not wanting Gaara to get too excited and either accidently or purposefully kill me, because neither option was in my favor.

His eyes narrowed dangerously, and I was a tad uneasy whether he would agree or just attack. Knowing him, it was a toss-up. "Fine." Was his terse response, obviously wanting more action than just "first blood" but settling for what I offered, surprisingly. Maybe he just wanted to shut me up.

The fight began moments after he agreed. Obviously he didn't want to waste any time. When it came to violence I was discovering that he had a tendency to be a little over eager.

He immediately sent a wave of his sand shooting at me, forcing Hikaru and Kaoru to scramble for cover. I dodged, lunging to the side, rolling and landing on my feet, only to have to leap into the air to dodge his next jab of sand. He was fast, the sand barely finishing one attack before turning in a 180 degree angle to hit my back, while a new wave of sand hit me from the front.

His attacks were constant, fast, and vicious. I had to use every ounce of concentration to train chakra to my feet. He attacked so quickly from the get go that I hadn't had enough time to focus my chakra and summon some wind to the soles of my feet, my special Telaria Jutsu I had perfected to make me faster than humanly possible.

After a few seconds of dodging I was finally able to calm down from the surprise of having him attack so quickly and focus enough chakra to summon up a little wind to my feet, effectively speeding me up to the point where I could much more easily dodge his attacks. The jutsu was similar to the one that allowed you to walk up walls or on water, but instead of just bringing chakra to the bottoms of my feet I mixed in a little of the wind, essentially giving me a little boost every step.

As my speed abruptly increased, most of my attention was focused on the sand trying to pulverize me, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that his expression had changed with my sudden boost of speed. Now he was focused, taking me seriously. Good, he would need to be if he wanted to draw my blood.

He may have gotten ultrapowerful, but I was no pushover. I knew I didn't have the attack power that he did, but I suspected that my speed would give me an edge. As long as he couldn't catch me with his sand I was golden. Even so, I was pretty uneasy about my chances for winning this fight.

Frankly the bet I had made was in his favor, he had that infamous impenetrable defense after all. So I was going to have to be on top of my game to get close enough to touch him, much less draw blood. I just hoped my wind chakra was up to the job.

It wasn't in my best interest to drag this out for too long; his sand would get tired a lot slower than I would, so going on the offensive would be my best option. Using even more wind, careful not to overdo it and lose my balance, I sped up incrementally, doing all sorts of acrobatics to avoid his sand. I had to run this way, that way, up a tree, flip over a stream of sand, land, immediately throw myself to the ground in a roll to dodge the sand heading for my skull, come up out of the roll, leap into the air to avoid the sand coming up from the ground, and on and on. His sand was never ending, and it was everywhere.

I began to make my way towards him, carefully weaving in between the sand he sent spiraling out at me, tips sharp and ready to slice me into ribbons. If he drew first blood likely it would be a lot of blood. And frankly, I wasn't even sure he would be inclined to stop there. I had heard that the sight of blood excited him, so chances were if I got sliced and diced it would only spur him on. Trying to get through all this dangerous sand, it felt like trying to make my way through a very angry garbage disposal, sharp teeth that surrounded me and wanted to tear me into bits.

The speed of my feet and agility of my body simply weren't enough to keep up with the intensity that was Gaara's sand attack. Periodically I was forced to block his sand with a gust of wind, hastily called forth. I didn't even have the time to aim, all I could do was dodge and when that failed send out broad currants of air with a sweep of my arm. I controlled my wind jutsu similar to the way Gaara controlled his sand, with motions of my body, usually my hands.

The sand hadn't touched me yet and I could tell that he was getting frustrated, and it seemed as though his curiosity had been peeked even more. He was holding back, testing me, but that would be his mistake, because I wasn't messing around. In fact that would probably be the only reason I might win this fight.

Seeing an opening in the tangled mess of sand trying to kill me, I swerved in that direction, heading right for him. The only way I could win this thing would be to really get up close and personal, otherwise there was no way I could touch him with all that sand getting in the way. Using a burst of chakra to increase my speed at the last second, I darted past the deadly arches of sand swirling around him and used my momentum to slam into him, pressing my entire body flush to his. Using the split second that it took for his sand to regroup, I immediately wrapped my hands around his throat as an anchor and sent out a violent gust of wind spiraling out from my body, which blew away both his sand armor and the sand trying to kill me.

His shock at being both body slammed and wind tossed held him motionless for a second, time that I used appropriately. I only released his neck for the few short seconds it took to make the hand signs necessary to set up a wind barrier just around our bodies, keeping out the sand for a short while. I made sure to get the barrier tight up against us, under his gourd, so he couldn't pull any more sand out of his sleeve so to speak.

After the few seconds it took me to set up the barrier, I squeezed my hands back around his neck, not giving him enough time to react or get away. My palms met his skin for the one of the few rare times and my nails dug into the back of his neck. If he wasn't shocked before, he was sure as hell shocked now at the sting he felt. I dug my nails deeply into his skin, drawing his blood for the first time ever. I waited for his reaction, knowing that chances were this wasn't just the first time I had drawn his blood, but that this might be the first time his blood had ever been spilt at all.

His reaction came immediately and confirmed my suspicions with its intensity. His eyes popped open wide and a gasp escaped him. I felt him tense against me and his head tilted back, trying to relieve some of the sting from my fingernails imbedded in the back of his neck. The muscles and tendons in his neck pulled tight. Being as close to him as I was, I heard the odd sound that slipped out of his chest. It was between a groan and a growl deep in his chest, as he absorbed the sensation of pain for the first time, and ended in an exhale of breath between his teeth.

The whole situation was… strange, and exciting in ways that I had come to recognize, but still preferred to deny. The sensation of being so closely pressed to him allowed me to feel his body against mine, and my hormones didn't really seem to care that we were currently in a battle situation. My stomach dropped and fluttered in the most distracting manner possible and I felt like cussing out my own muscles for being so spazzy. Almost in a daze, I noted that I could feel his pulse underneath my palms, and it was also strangely distracting.

There were too many distractions damn it! I needed to focus on not dying, which at the moment was probably a real possibility, considering I had no idea how Gaara was going to respond to having his blood drawn. Maybe I hadn't thought this one out so thoroughly.

I froze, holding myself still against him and locking my fingers in place where they dug into his flesh, not wanting to jostle them and piss him off even more as I waited. After a moment, he tilted his head back down and looked me in the eye, his pale blue-green eyes pinning me in place. His sand was squirming, trying to worm its way in between our bodies and under my shield. But that was the main reason I had pressed myself so closely to him, so that I could use my wind barrier jutsu to surround him and prevent sand from getting to me without having to exert as much chakra.

His eyes were wide at first with shock and a little glassy, and then slowly grew hooded. The pale green darkening almost as if with anger … or lust. I was unnerved, not expecting such a response and certainly unprepared for my own reaction to that particular expression on his face. It reminded me of a hungry wolf, or a cat hunting a mouse, just as sharp and cruel, but heated. I gulped, suddenly feeling much warmer.

 _Ehm…maybe this hadn't been such a good idea._

I held my position, despite my sudden discomfort, and glared right back into his eyes, my hands around his neck applying just enough pressure that he could feel the threat of what I could do. I was not going to be some stupid hormonal teenager dammit, I was in the middle of a fight and I was pissed off.

Again, his response was unpredictable. He chuckled, the deep, gravely sound rumbling up from his chest much like a growl, sending shivers down my spine once again.

I got this insane urge to drag him closer, to press myself harder against him, but resisted, knowing that it was inappropriate. Even just the thought had me flushing. My body needed to calm the fuck down. I cleared my throat, forcing some sort of composure then bluffed my way out, not wanting to hint at the level of perversity I had sunk.

I grinned at him, and I could tell that he was surprised by the way his eyes sparked with curiosity and shock. Encouraged and feeling more in control of the situation, I leaned just a tad closer, enjoying the little thrill I got by seeing his eyes widen infinitesimally, and whispered, "I win Gaara. Now hand over the scroll."

I relaxed my grip, letting my hands just rest against his skin for a minute, unable to tear away as quickly as I should. He got a weird gleam in his eyes, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Letting go of his neck, I stepped back abruptly, putting some space between us and watching Gaara closely for any signs that he was unsatisfied and planned to attack me again. He was panting, his pulse pounding visibly fast at his throat, and he looked like he could potentially try to kill me.

Thankfully he simply stood there staring at me with his impenetrable mask on. His eyes still burned into me, his stare inexplicably making me tense in a way that the fight hadn't.

After a moment of intense silence, the tension between me and Gaara thick enough that it felt as if we should be able to see it, like heat waves, Kankuro cleared his throat and delicately inched forward. As dense as he usually was, it seemed that even he could feel the dangerous atmosphere. He tossed the scroll at the twins, unwilling to break Gaara's and my eye lock.

Gaara didn't seem like he was going to let me go anytime soon. Technically I could walk away at any time, but his gaze penetrating my own was so intense that it was impossible for me to break. I felt frozen in place, locked to the ground by his pale green eyes. In some strange way I felt vulnerable, as though I was hypnotized, unable to move or even think.

After long moments, immeasurable for me, Gaara blinked, one, slow, long blink. And that was enough to set me free from whatever strange spell he had put me under. It seemed like everyone had been holding their breath because it sounded as though everyone took a breath at the same moment. I blinked, realizing my eyes were dry, and cleared my throat, feeling a little awkward after that extended eye contact.

After a moment to gather my thoughts I said, just a tad shakily, "Okay then, well I guess we're off. Are you guys all set, or do you have another scroll to get?" I turned my gaze to Temari and Kankuro.

"Nope, were good to go." Temari chirped, doing a bad job at covering up her nerves. It was obvious that both Kankuro and Temari had been shaken up a bit by the fight.

"Guess we're all headed to the tower then."

I started walking in that direction, waiting to see who would follow me. My team mates did of course, but tentatively, giving Gaara a very wide berth. Surprisingly Gaara followed me before Kankuro and Temari. Although I supposed it made sense, they were probably waiting so see what he would do first.

Getting to the tower at the center of the forest was easy with Gaara; the few teams that we did come across were easily dispatched or scared away. We finished the test within a few hours, meeting up with Baki at the end, and then went back to our hotel rooms with sighs of relief.

Well…maybe Gaara had wanted to stay out there and do more damage, you never knew with that guy apparently.

After taking a very thorough shower to make sure that I hadn't brought home any creepy crawlies, I handed the bathroom over to the twins and lay down on my bed to try and get some rest. I decided that simply meditating would be the best option. I didn't want to actually go to sleep and have another nightmare.

I actually managed to get some rest that way and sometime later, after the twins had laid down in their beds and had been pushing up zzzzz's for a while I decided to go up on the roof again to stargaze. I figured I could meditate some more out there, and there would be the added bonus of not having to listen to the strange and sometimes disturbing noises that the twins emitted at night. I simply wasn't comfortable with someone who could whistle and pop at the same time in their sleep. That shouldn't be humanly possible.

I hopped out onto the roof, already familiar with the layout. As I took my place in the middle I noticed Gaara was perched up on top of one of the corners. I glanced at him, admiring his profile for a second before looking up at the stars. I didn't want him to catch me looking at him again.

After a while though I decided to go and say hi to Gaara, already unsure as to whether it was intelligent decision. I padded over to his perch silently and hopped up next to him, trying to give him as much room possible, while also not falling off the somewhat narrow ledge. He stared straight ahead for a good few minutes, not deigning to acknowledge my presence. After a length of time his eyes slid sideways to me and he slowly blinked. I took that to mean, "What do you want?"

"Just being sociable." I hummed, swinging my legs back and forth, lightly bumping them against the wall below me. I was happy, content even. Just being near Gaara like this was soothing, perhaps just for old times' sake. It certainly didn't make sense considering that he had tried his best to pummel me earlier.

His eye stayed trained on me, still out of the corner of his eye. He squinted a little, and I wasn't sure if it was out of curiosity or irritation. Probably both. I hummed and continued bouncing the heels of my feet off the wall below me. This was a pretty good perch. I could see why Gaara liked it. You could see the whole village from here.

"So was that really the first time anyone's drawn your blood before?" I inquired after a time, the question just dying to be asked. It was just too alien, too foreign for me to believe that he had never been scratched before.

His head turned towards me and his eyes stared at me fully this time. He rasped, "Yes," quietly. His expression totally blank, but his eyes conveyed some sort of strong emotion, perhaps curiosity, or enlightenment, or astonishment, or something else entirely. I wasn't sure. It could have been anger, he was very difficult to read sometimes, his emotions buried so deep that maybe even he didn't know what he was feeling.

"Wow." I whistled, impressed and amazed, "I guess that means you're not a virgin anymore huh?" I chuckled, "Sorry for stealing your virginity." I teased, unable to help myself. I looked over at him to see a completely blank expression. He had this "What the hell are you talking about?" sort of face.

I blinked. "Um … you know … because I made you bleed … uh … for the first time? Get it?" I laughed nervously. Not sure if maybe he didn't get my joke, or if he just thought I was stupid. He blinked slowly, his expression unchanging. If anything it just got blanker, if possible. "Uh … right …"

I slowly turned my head to look out on the landscape, my mind buzzing. _There's no way he's that innocent right? Well. Maybe innocent isn't the right word in his case, uninformed might be the better choice. But seriously… We're both teenagers, we've both hit puberty. Mostly. He hasn't gotten his height yet, but his voice has begun to change, so …_

Unable to stand it any longer I just had to ask. "Uh … Gaara?" I glanced at him out of the corner of my, he was still looking at me, I guess he had just been staring at me this whole time with that strange blank expression, looking for all the world as though he was extremely confused. "You, um … do know what a virgin is right?" I mumbled, not really able to say it with any sort of confidence.

He blinked, his expression remained blank, and he said in a monotone voice, "No." He actually had the audacity to look somewhat bored.

I felt like face-palming. _No freaking way. You have got to be kidding me! Gaara doesn't know what a virgin is?_ I cleared my throat. "So, uh, I guess that means no-one has had 'The Talk' with you?" I even air quoted 'the talk.'

He just scowled, looking slightly irritable now.

"Nothing about the birds and the bees, or the facts of life, or anything like that?" I pressed; sure that someone must have said something to him at some point. _I mean did anyone get to this age without knowing at least the basics?_

He glared and growled "No" with an extra dose of disdain that told me he was displeased with my interrogating him on a topic he obviously knew nothing about.

This time I did face palm, leaving a red spot on my forehead and dragging my hand down my face slowly, just about dying from shock. I groaned. "Remind me to tell you about it some other time. Now is not the appropriate place or time for this conversation to go any further down the drain than it already has."

He glared some more.

Unable to take the bad attitude that was Gaara when he had been made aware that he didn't know something, I left, going back inside to meditate some more, my mind buzzing and keeping me blissfully awake and away from nightmareland.

 **End Chapter 12**

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 **Author's Note:**

The only reason this chapter is out so fast is because of the absolutely wonderful response I got last chapter ... I was going to wait, but I just couldn't wait to see how everyone responded to this one, since it's one of my personal favorites.

Telaria are the winged sandals of Hermes. Just in case you were wondering.

So...what do you think? Longest chapter yet! Yay!

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Who out there wants to see a follow up chapter where Ren has to tell Gaara the facts of life? Should be hilarious. Be sure to let me know!

Don't forget to review... :3


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: You know the drill...**

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After a hurried breakfast with the twins, of course with me doing most of the hurrying for all of us, we joined up with the other team and headed down to the final challenge. I was nervous but excited to see what they had in store for us this time. This test was going to have to be pretty damn intense to top the last one.

I immediately had a pretty good idea of what this test was going to be when the last location turned out to be a large arena. The only surprise came when we had all lined up and were told that this round would only be a preliminary round to eliminate half of the competitors, since too many Genin had made it through the second challenge. I heard quite a few grumbles over that announcement, and frankly I felt kind of like grumbling myself.

After all the fires had been put out, the rules were explained. This challenge, and the final challenge, would be one on one battles, ending when one contestant was either dead, gave up, or the proctor judged the match to be over. _Yep, that's kind of what I figured._

I could tell everyone was still a little cranky as they took their positions in the raised balconies to watch the first fight. I was still a little pissed myself. It was pretty irritating for the finals to be postponed at the last minute like this. Then again, I was actually kind of enjoying myself, my competitive nature finding the challenge exciting. So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing for there to be an extra challenge at the end.

As we watched the first few rounds any lingering irritation slowly faded away, to be replaced with interest in the matches. Some were over quite fast, the stronger ninja easily decided between the two. Others lasted much longer, and I was surprised by how intense some of them became, ending in pretty severe injuries. No one died though. I knew that several people died in the last challenge, so I guess this one actually wasn't quite as dangerous, maybe because it was so closely monitored.

While I entertained myself by watching the fights I slowly realized that Gaara seemed to be getting more and more agitated. He never fidgeted or showed any sort of emotion on his impassive face, but I noticed the little bit of sand leaking out from around the cork in his gourd. He had a tiny pile of it on the ground that was constantly shifting back and forth around his feet, giving away his aggressive state of mind.

As the matches progressed, Gaara seemed more and more unstable. While his blank face didn't express any emotion, his eyes began to burn with something I couldn't place. Even Temari and Kankuro seemed nervous, picking up on their brother's turbulent mood. The only thing I could think of was that all the violence was exciting him, making it more difficult for him to control Shukaku.

Eventually it was my turn. I couldn't help but be a little nervous, and my heart beat quickly as I hopped over the railing and landed neatly on the ground below, using a little gust of wind to cushion my fall.

It's not that I didn't think I could beat the shit out of my opponent, I was confidant in my strength, but having Gaara watching somehow had my insides turning in unpleasant ways. I supposed it must be some sort of vain need to look good in front of him. How stupid.

My opponent was Shigure from Amegakure Village, who sauntered onto the field with an arrogance that immediately raised my hackles. We both stood there for a moment, waiting for the signal, and I took the time to give him a good once over, deciding that he was rather ominous looking. In particular I wasn't fond of the stitches on one side his mouth, I mean what the hell was up with that? And that scar running down his face across his eye was no pretty rose to look at either. Over all he looked like one tough customer, but of course having received such serious injuries might also indicate a lack in foresight, something that I could use to my advantage.

My attention sharpened as the signal to start was given. Shigure proved to be as arrogant as I originally thought, meandering towards the middle of the floor with a laziness that said he didn't find me a threat and brought out his umbrellas from behind his back with a dramatic flourish. "Well, sorry girly but your dead out of luck. This is the end of the line for you." He chuckled smugly. His arrogant demeanor and the sheer fact that he had called me "girly" pissed me off right out of the gate.

"I don't appreciate your tone jackass." I growled, easily sliding into my battle stance with one foot back and my hands up, ready to dish out a major attitude adjustment.

He smirked, overly confident in his big bad self. _Well we'll just see how good he is, wont we?_

He flourished his umbrellas some more, readying his attack. I snorted. I never had liked umbrella weapons, they were too predictable. Of course he was hiding senbon needles in them, or something similar.

I decided to wait for him to use his attack since I was already able to predict his style. I didn't want him to have senbons up his sleeves when I attacked, I'd much rather he exhaust his resources first.

He spun his umbrellas up in the air and predictably hundreds of senbon needles shot through the air, aimed right at me. For anyone else this would have been a problem, but for me it was a simple matter to use my wind barrier jutsu as a shield. Then, to use his attack against him, I swept one arm out sideways, calling forth a rotating wind that scattered his needles literally to the winds.

Amusingly he had to leap out of the way of a few of his own ricocheting needles. I dropped the barrier jutsu once his umbrellas depleted their stock. He landed a few feet back from where he was previously, his eyes wide and shocked. I suppose that attack had never failed him before. _Sucks to be him._ I snickered.

"Was that it?" I asked, perhaps just a tad smug. Well … really smug. If there was one thing that I enjoyed, it was knocking arrogant ninja on their asses.

He scowled and came at me with a few needles in each hand, and probably more hidden away, obviously going for a close combat attack this time. _Okay, this should prove more interesting_.

I waited till the last second and then swung around, pivoting on one foot to avoid his attack. He passed me, but recovered quickly enough to send some senbon at my back. I continued the momentum from my rotation and pivoted back to face him, but knelt while doing so to avoid the needles. I landed with one knee tucked up under my chest, balanced on that toe, and the other leg stretched out for balance.

The needles whistled over my head harmlessly. I raised an eyebrow, smirking at him as he glared. _Dumbass._

Tired of playing, I went on the offensive. I stood, batting aside another volley of needles with a stiff breeze called forth by a wave of my hand. Sending chakra to my feet, I used my Telaria Jutsu to speed me up and darted forward, faster than he could guard against. Channeling chakra into the wind, I focused it around my fist using my Kazegami Jutsu, and then a second later made impact with his chest with the force of a charging horse.

"Windstyle, Gale Fist!" I growled, making sure he knew just who's jutsu bested him. The force of my fist infused with chakra and powered by wind sent him flying into the wall, where he hit with a resounding BANG as the wall cracked around him.

He was down for the count, and the proctor ran to check if he was still alive. He called the match, with me the winner and I chanced a glance up at Gaara in the balcony. His non-eyebrows were raised a little and it looked like maybe he was a little impressed. I grinned and sauntered back up to my spot in the balcony, pleased with myself.

Next up was Gaara, who appeared to be so eager to get to the fight that he disappeared in a spiral of sand and reappeared in the arena. I snorted with amusement when the cork from Gaara's gourd propelled itself across the room towards his opponent. I think green boy's name was Lee, and I was pretty impressed that he managed to catch the high speed projectile.

The fight began predictably. Lee, who personally I thought really needed some fashion advice, jumped headfirst into the fight and Gaara easily fended him off with his sand. I had to hand it to the guy; he was a pretty good Taijutsu user. But there was no way he could defeat Gaara if that was all he had.

Soon though, Lee jumped up on top of the statue and proceeded to remove weights from his ankles, which naturally all of us thought was ridiculous, because how much of a difference was that going to make? Everyone was shocked when they fell with a resounding boom. Suddenly he was much too fast, whipping around Gaara so quickly that his sand couldn't keep up.

I flinched when Lee's foot connected with Gaara's head, sending him sliding back into a quick recovery. Watching Gaara get tossed to the ground was difficult for me to do without stepping in and stopping things, I hated seeing him get hurt.

Of course he hadn't been hurt. As soon his sand armor flaked off his broadly grinning face the scratches fell off too, leaving his skin unblemished. His wide crazed smile sent chills down my spine, creeping me out intensely with the dangerously insane facial expression. I was just as disturbed by the way his sand covered it up and assumed an expressionless mask. _So that's how he does it …_ I gulped and watched as his sand finished coating him.

As the battle continued I grew increasingly agitated as first Gaara was kicked into the air, and then wrapped up like a mummy in Lee's bandages, before being hurled head first into the ground. When he made impact hard enough to create a crater in the floor I lunged at the railing, only just barely able to keep myself from leaping over, but I still leaned far over the metal bar and craned my neck to see through the dust cloud.

I tensed when I saw his form lying splayed out on the ground, all cracked and broken. I whispered his name, horrified and afraid. It was the longest few seconds of my life. Thankfully his sand clone quickly caved in, letting me breathe a sigh of relief. _Holy shit that scared me._

I searched for him in the still somewhat dusty air, trying to locate his true position. _If that was just a clone then he must be…Ah._

Unsurprisingly he revealed himself right behind his opponent, scaring the bejesus out of poor Lee. The sand poured off his body, revealing his sinister smirk, and he tilted his head back, leering down his nose at Lee. I shivered as he chuckled darkly, a gravely rumble deep in his chest, so deep and rough and full of dangerous intent that it sound like a growl in laughter form. It was the most evil laugh that I had ever heard, but strangely it didn't terrify me. I shivered, chills running down my spine in strange tingles, making me wonder if maybe I had something wrong with me, to be reacting to him in this way.

Gaara promptly proceeded to wipe the floor, sometimes quite literally, with Lee. He summoned awesome amounts of power, swamping the auditorium with tsunamis of sand, tidal waves that rose nearly to the ceiling high above. For a while it looked like the battle would be easily won, Lee unable to defend himself properly and being pounded by the sand mercilessly.

No-one expected for Lee to have a secret weapon. Seemingly out of no-where Lee was able to summon enormous amounts of chakra, and turned an unnatural shocking red, his veins bulging in an unhealthy manner. My jaw dropped, completely taken by surprise, and actually a little concerned for Gaara again. My gaze went to the redhead, who was still managing to look relatively unruffled, but even I could tell that he was somewhat disturbed.

Faster than I could track, Gaara was in the air again, being bounced around like a red ping pong ball. The few glimpses I could catch made my stomach clench and my breath stop. Little shards of Gaara's sand armor were flaking off, little chunks beginning to rain down on the spectators. I gulped thickly and clinched the rail in front of me hard enough that the little muscles in my hands started to jump and spasm, painfully cramping.

 _Oh shit, this looks really bad._ The battle came to a climax when Lee sent Gaara tumbling to the ground at a shocking speed, fast enough to do some serious damage. I sucked in my breath as he hit the ground with a resounding boom.

I relaxed only slightly when I saw how he had managed to cushion his fall with his sand, but he still looked like he was pretty beaten up, his sand armor all cracked. I was amazed when he lifted on arm and sent sand at Lee, surprised that he still had enough chakra to attack even while flat on his back. I winced when the sand crushed Lee's arm and leg, knowing that had to hurt.

But that wasn't enough for Gaara and I tensed as he went for the killing blow. I couldn't believe my old friend had turned into this cold, merciless killer. _What the hell happened to him, to make him this way?_

Lee's team leader, I guessed, since he was wearing the same garish green jumpsuit, stopped Gaara before he could accomplish his deadly goal, standing in between my friend and his student. That definitely shocked Gaara, his eyes opening wide in confusion as he asked, "Why? Why would you protect him?"

Lee's team leader responded quite simply, "Because he is precious to me."

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest as I saw the bewilderment and pain on Gaara's face as he struggled to understand. He slowly pulled himself off the ground, holding his head and glaring at Lee. My breath hissed out of my lungs, pulled out of me by the broken expression on his face. I had known that he probably hadn't experienced any sort of kindness in the years we had been apart, but the evidence of just how little he was familiar with the emotion tore my heart apart, the pain in my chest intensifying.

After a moment he teleported in a swirl of sand back up to the balcony. All Baki had to say to him was something inane, along the lines of 'good, you did what you were supposed to do,' nothing remotely concerned about him. I got insanely pissed off, the anger boiling beneath my skin, and I had to force myself to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down before going and talking to Gaara myself.

After forcefully calming myself down, I walked over to Gaara as the next battle commenced. "Hey, you okay?" I asked softly, noting how his face once more wore that mask of 'I don't give a fuck about anything.'

His eyes slid in my direction and he glared at me, not saying anything.

I sighed, not really expecting anything different. "Well, congratulations on winning your fight." No one else had congratulated him after all, yet another reason I was ticked off at them. _I mean, yeah he's a scary ass brat with no self-control and a huge angry chip on his shoulder that could kill you as easily as looking at you, but seriously? Come on people, he's not gonna change if you treated him badly._ I sighed, nearly giving up on Baki and his siblings.

He blinked, perhaps a little surprised that I had expressed any sort of concern or encouragement. I smiled gently, and then turned back out to the arena, not noticing the way his forehead scrunched up in pain and confusion.

I resumed watching the battles still going on down below. After another won match Hikaru was up. Really, the twins were at a disadvantage taking on opponents one on one, since their strength laid in attacking together. Kaoru would usually stay behind and work on strategy and long range attacks and defense jutsu while Hikaru was the one attacking up close. They were also masters of Genjutsu, but again, they were more advantageous when used together.

I cheered Hikaru on and Kaoru when his turn came, but neither one of the twins won their matches unfortunately. I kind of expected that, but I still winced when they lost spectacularly, sustained a nice assortment of bruises and scrapes for their trouble. I offered them both words of consolation when they came back up into the balconies, sulking and unhappy.

After all the battles were over we all went back to the hotel. On the way I separated from the group, telling them I would catch up with them at the hotel, and then ran and picked up some take out and also stopped in to a sweet shop to buy some sweets. I figured that would help dull the sting of not making it to the finals for the twins. _Hey, just because I was a mean bitch most of the time didn't mean that I couldn't go and do something nice on occasion._

While I was out I also picked up some bruise cream, figuring that Gaara might be pretty sore by now. _He's probably not going to accept it, but hey it's worth a try._ I figured.

Once back at the hotel, I brought out the to-go containers and sweets and dumped them on Hikaru's bed. "Here ya go. Food. Dig in." I said briefly, a little embarrassed. I was uncomfortable doing this sort of thing, I was antisocial by nature after all.

Both twins looked at me with tears in their eyes and then ran over to give me a big hug. "You do care!"

"Ren!"

I backed up quickly, very nearly falling over the nightstand. "Woah now, watch out." They managed to get me for a second, nearly squeezing the life out of me. I quickly squirmed free. "Okay, okay. Yes you're welcome. Now eat."

They dove into the food, heading for the sweets first of course. I breathed a sigh of relief that they hadn't felt the need to smother me with physical affection. It would have kind of ruined the nice gesture if I had had to beat them up.

I sighed and let them eat through their disappointment of being the only ones from the Sand not going to the final rounds. It really wasn't their fault; they were simply a two man team. After a while they passed out among all the candy wrappers and take out containers. I rolled my eyes and carefully tidied up all the sticky shit off their bed and left them there to snore and wheeze and whistle. Sometimes they really were like a pair of really rambunctious troublesome puppies. I snorted, looking at them with affection. They were so strange, but hey, they were my team.

I just shook my head at their antics and crawled out the window to hop up on the roof, knowing that Gaara would be up there. Once on the roof I looked around, finding him right away. He was giving off an evil aura, wide enough that I probably could have sensed it from my room if I had tried, from this distance it was nearly overwhelming. _Well…maybe this wasn't such a bright idea._

I decided to try and give him the medicine anyway, even though I had a pretty good idea what would happen. Carefully approaching his perch I called out to him, "Hey Gaara?" coming up next to him. He didn't even look at me. _Well he's in a fine mood._ "Um, here. I figured you might need this." I held out the bruise cream.

His eyes slid over to me and after a second his hand swung out abruptly, violently smacking the cream out of my hand. The impact sent the small tub clattering over the rooftop to get stuck on the other side in the gutter. I grunted, kind of expecting it, but still a little shocked by the blow. What a brat.

I glared at him. "You could have just said no thanks; you didn't have to be all rude about it!" I said with a huff, offended and a little hurt by his abrupt violence.

His head turned in my direction and his brow furrowed as he looked at me with some shock. I guess not many people talked like that to him. After a moment his eyes narrowed and he glared at me.

"If you talk to me like that I'll kill you," he growled, his voice dangerously low and volatile. While pissed off, he also had this weird calculating gleam in his eye, almost as if he was testing me.

I blew him off, totally over his death threats already. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You'll kill me dead. Blah, blah, blah. You're not very creative, Gaara. You say the same thing over and over. It gets a little boring after a while."

His head cocked and his eyes widened a little again, definitely perplexed by my lack of fear. His mouth twisted into a scowl and his nose scrunched, one eye squinting as if he was trying really, really hard to figure me out. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't you terrified of me like everyone else?" he rasped, his voice rough and confused and angry.

I shrugged and looked away, knowing that with his memory gone there really wasn't any way for me to properly explain. "I'm just not. Deal with it." I said, my voice flippant. Even so, I could hear the note of sadness in it, and I just hoped he didn't pick up on it.

After a moment of silence I walked over to where the bruise cream had landed, picked it up and brought it back over to Gaara. I put it softly on the ledge next to him, not trying to hand it to him this time. "If you change your mind, I'll leave this here. Goodnight."

I left without looking to see what he did with the cream. It was his problem if he couldn't accept a simply gesture of kindness.

 **End Chapter 13**

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 **Author's Note:**

Kazegame is the wind god from Okami. Just so you know.

As you may have noticed, there is a new cover image for this story. If you're interested in seeing the full cover the link is in my profile.

I'm gonna be coloring it too, I'm in the middle of that.

Someone recently asked in a review, what does Ren look like? It's a good question and I haven't gotten around to describing her just yet in the story, but I'll post a character sketch of her and put the link in one of these notes.

To answer the question, she has purple eyes, brown hair, and if you look up Musibi from Sekirei, she has that hairstyle, sort of short with a really long ponytail in the back.

To answer another question: yes eventually there will be lemons in this story, but never fear...I will put warnings before them so if that isn't your thing you'll know where to skip ahead. ;3

Anyways, don't forget to review! It's the highlight of my day to check and see if I have any new reviews!


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: blah blah blah ... you all know I own nothing ...**

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We had a month to train for the finals. I hadn't used all of my tricks in the preliminaries, but I needed to train, to get even better. The ninja that had passed the preliminaries were all exceptional, and I would have to push myself to get to a higher level if I wanted to match up.

Every morning I got up early, leaving the twins in their beds, and left the hotel. I had found a secluded training place the first day, a small clearing in the woods. I never saw anyone there, so I guessed that I was the only one that knew it was there. Or at least I was the only one who used it.

This morning I left even earlier than usual, way before the sun was even up. I had had another nightmare, and instead of trying to go back to sleep I felt it would be time better spent training. Plus the training would take my mind off the nightmare.

I made my way to the clearing, never noticing the stealthy shadow in the tops of the trees that was invisibly following me. Finally reaching the clearing, I took in a deep breath of the leafy smelling air. I was getting somewhat used to the green smell, but I still missed the warm scent of hot sand.

I made my way to the middle of my little clearing and started my routine. I always started with Taijutsu. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, feeling the wind stirring around me in response to my chakra. My Taijutsu was special, a technique that I was still perfecting. I sought to be one with the wind, to meld my body, much like I already did with my chakra to the shape of the wind.

I had already set up various traps around the vicinity, rigged with pressure plates so that as I stepped on them the traps would send kunai knives flying out at me.

I stepped on the first plate, eyes still closed. With my senses tuned in to the wind, I could feel the air shifting, the wind curving and bending around the objects moving at high velocity towards me. Mimicking the wind, I allowed my body to curve and bend, taking broad sweeping steps, spinning in circles with my arms outstretched to feel the wind more keenly and thus able to anticipate the incoming objects.

As I moved I allowed my chakra to leak out a little into the air around my body, allowing me to use it as an extension of my body. I continued to spin and bend, leaning this way and that in what probably would look like some sort of dance, as I avoided every kunai, not allowing their proximity to unnerve me, confidant in the wind around my body to alert me of their presence.

One flew towards my face, so I bent backwards, just enough so the knife flew past my nose. I felt another one heading towards my hip from the side, so I finished the back bend, touching my hands down to the ground and lifted my lower half into the air in a handstand as the knife flew under me harmlessly. My feet touched down on the other side of me and I stood, immediately feeling more knives come at me since I had landed on another plate. One came at me from the front, but all I had to do was arch myself to the side for it to slip by me, and then immediately swayed to the other side to dodge another knife, before arching my hips forwards to avoid one from the side. And so it continued, swaying side to side, curving up, backwards, forwards, bending like the wind to avoid the deadly projectiles.

As I slowly sped up the pace stepping on more and more pressure plates, I sent chakra to my fingertips and then extended it into the air beyond to form flat, sharpened, currents of air, almost like blades from each hand. It was a jutsu I was still working on. I began to deflect some of the kunai, still dancing around most. There were so many kunai in the air now that I had to sweep my arms through the air sending an air current in one way or another, a mere disturbance, but enough that it would slow down the knives momentum enough for me to bend this way or that.

Letting my chakra leak out into the air as I had been, and spinning around and around, had built up air currents that I could now manipulate. I was surrounded my multitudes of bands of air, and I began my next step in my training with them. This was yet another Jutsu I was creating, I was thinking of calling it Dancing Winds Shield Jutsu.

Using these bands of air I sped them up a little and wrapped my chakra around them, grasping control of the air currents. Now standing still, I used only the air currents to deflect the remaining volleys of kunai.

After the last few kunai had been tossed aside I stood breathing heavily for a few brief moments. Once I had caught my breath I moved on to the next stage in my training regimen.

I sat cross legged on the ground, quieting my mind and slowing my heavy breathing. Letting my chakra leak out into the wind surrounding me, I became one with the air and sent out tendrils of currents from my body, attaching various sensory inputs to each tendril that told me the layout of the clearing, the various positions of different kinds of birds and animals in the forest surrounding me, and other such information.

Using this sensory technique I was also able to sense chakra, mostly as a heat signature in the air or sometimes by a specific feel, flavor, or even scent of the chakra.

I immediately sensed heat from behind me, a few feet into the trees, and a lot of it, signaling an enormous chakra signature. Alarmed, I sent air currents to investigate. As soon as I got close enough to sense the distinctive heat and spicy flavor of the chakra I relaxed, knowing who it was.

Naturally it was Gaara, stalking me from the shadows. It was sufficiently creepy for his personality. Once I had ascertained the identity of the intruder I sent a stiff wind to blow him over, my way of saying 'hi how ya doin? I know you're there.' He didn't actually fall, but the unexpected gust did have him staggering back a few paces.

Correctly interpreting the unnatural gust of wind, he stalked into the clearing, scowling with his arms crossed, looking for all the world like a sulky boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar. I turned to give him a slanty eyed stare, "What were you doing skulking in the shadows like that, Gaara?"

He just stared, unblinking and seemingly unaffected by my question. He seemed perfectly content to not answer me. Typical.

I sighed, not really in the mood to deal with his grumpy personality at the moment. "Whatever…" I just blew him off, not particularly concerned by his presence.

I turned back around and went back to meditating, although it turned out to be more difficult with him standing behind me. I was intensely aware of his presence, meditating and sending my chakra into the wind to sense around the area was nearly impossible with him taking up all my attention. His chakra signature was so enormous, that it nearly wiped out all the subtle chakras around me.

He had a very appealing chakra as well, one that I certainly didn't mind having around. If chakra were a sound, his would be the kind of music that I would enjoy listening to. It definitely had a spicy sort of feel to it, which I found quite pleasing.

After a while of failing to train my senses I sighed, giving up and opening my eyes. Without turning I asked, "So…why are you stalking me?"

Silence.

I continued to look forward, away from him while I talked to him. "No comment? Are you trying to be creepy or do you just naturally have a penchant for watching people from the shadows and then not answering when asked why?"

Nothing.

I finally turned to look at him over my shoulder. He was still standing there, arms crossed, looking all sullen. I sighed. "Seriously?"

After a quiet staring contest he turned and walked away, back into the woods. I blinked, still so unused to his new personality.

 _Well fine. If that's the way he wants to play…_

I finished training, thinking about how I could get him back. Eventually I decided that tomorrow I would do the same thing and follow him. _Why not? Turn about it fair play after all…._

Of course to catch him I had to get up way early, before the sun was up. I wasn't really much of an early riser, I did not enjoy getting up early and avoided it unless I had a nightmare, which was every night, so mornings generally weren't very fun for me. Still, to accomplish this goal I didn't mind having to get up before the sun. I was pretty confident I would be anyways.

Sure enough, like clockwork I woke up sweaty and shaking from a nightmare way before the sun ever touched the horizon. Careful not to wake the boys I snuck into the bathroom and took a quick shower, putting up a wind barrier in front of the door to muffle the noise.

After washing off all the sweat, I dressed quickly and quietly and then snuck out the window. I went down into the alley outside my window and then around the building next door, scaling the wall opposite to the one against our hotel. Getting onto that roof I lingered in the shadows, locating Gaara on his rooftop and watching and waiting for him to leave.

After an hour or so he stood up and jumped down off the roof, disappearing in a puff of sand only to appear on the ground below. I crept down my wall, landing in the alleyway.

He was already off down the road, so I snuck behind him, staying to the shadows. He stopped by some food stand on the way, and the vendor handed him a bag of food without either one exchanging words or Gaara's payment, which made me think that Baki had probably already arranged for food that Gaara liked, prepaid for. _Smart._

I tailed him through the village and watched as he opened the bag and popped what looked like pieces of cooked meat into his mouth. _Huh. Interesting_ , _I don't think I've seen Gaara eating before._

He glanced back mid-bite, his teeth imbedded in the meat but his eyes trained in my direction. I slunk further into the shadows and behind a corner just to be sure.

After a moment he resumed eating and turned his eyes forwards again, continuing walking. I followed, a little further behind this time. Once he reached what seemed to be the edge of the village he veered off into the woods, and I followed.

He glanced back again. This time I snuck behind a tree and waited until he started forwards again. I followed him to a small training area that he had staked out. Everyone had picked out secretive training places so that they wouldn't give away any secrets. But he had chosen to train in the training grounds provided, in an area slightly away from everyone else but still in full view.

Of course Gaara had nothing to hide.

There were a few scattered ninja throughout the training grounds, none of the Genin training to become Chunin, but plenty of Genin not in the exams, a few Chunin, and even some Jonin. I skulked behind the trees at the edge of the training fields, getting a look at Gaara's training regimen.

He uncorked his gourd and a large majority of the ninja in the training grounds vacated the area. That made me nervous, just what kind of training did he do anyway?

His sand spilled out of his gourd and made a puddle around him, roiling over the ground in a disconcerting manner. And then he sent his sand out in a deadly spiral around his form, cleanly chopping the dummies set around him into little bits of straw and wood. I flinched along with everyone else on the training field. The remaining ninja on the field widened the space they had given him considerably.

He continued his silent assault, standing mute and stationary at the epicenter of what was quickly becoming a disaster zone. Any dummy within range was promptly dismembered and then reduced to a random mishmash of straw and chopped up wooden bits.

The ninja quickly realized he was taking over the entire training grounds and exited the field entirely. After a good 5 minutes his field had been entirely demolished, the ground perfectly level and carpeted with a fine dust that had once been perfectly usable training dummies.

When he was done, he uncrossed his arms, reached one arm out and flicked his fingers forward and up. The sand I hadn't noticed sneaking up behind me snagged my ankles, unceremoniously dumping me onto my backside and then roughly dragging me out into the field.

He dragged me right to his feet, halfway turning to once again glare down his nose at me. I lay sprawled out at his feet on the ground with my shirt riding up and my hair thoroughly tangled with dirt and straw bits. I'm pretty sure I had several splinters in my back as well.

I crossed my arms, not attempting to get up and stubbornly lay where he put me to glare up at him with the most offended look I could manage. "What the hell was that for Gaara?" I grouched, not feeling that the dragging was entirely necessary.

He fully turned to face me, his toes nearly touching my side, and crossed his arms, upping the wattage on his glare by a good 20 percent.

I glanced at his loincloth thing, remembering the last time he had stood over me. "If your thing smacks me in the face again I'm gonna pull it off. Just so you know." He snorted, his glare easing a smidge.

"Say what?!" came a voice from somewhere behind me. I groaned, not particularly in the mood to deal with Kankuro's shit at the moment. _Where had he come from anyway?_ "Don't go smacking chicks in the face with your thing Gaara, it'll dissuade continued services if you know what I mean." I looked over just in time to catch his wagging eyebrows and stupid expression.

I groaned at the so not subtle innuendo that was obviously lost on his younger brother, judging by Gaara's continued blank expression. "Don't ask, Gaara, you're better off not knowing." I muttered. Gaara quirked his head and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Anyway, I didn't come out here to make fun of you two love birds," Kankuro chuckled, very pleased with himself. Both Gaara and I flinched at his "love birds" comment. "I came out here because Baki wanted to talk to all of us about the final rounds tomorrow." I was pretty sure the only reason Gaara didn't kill him on the spot was because he was simply too shocked.

I cursed under my breath, both at Kankuro and his sly comments and the fact that I had nearly forgotten that the finals were tomorrow. Time keeping was so not my thing.

 **End Chapter 14**

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 **Author's Note:**

New Chapter! As promised! Don't forget to review! All my reviewers are absolutely amazing!


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: ... Do I have to say it?**

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The day of the final round I was up before the sun, too anxious to sleep very much. Which was an odd blessing, the light fitful sleep never was quite deep enough to sink into a nightmare fully, making it easier to twitch awake when I needed to. I ate breakfast slowly, not able to eat too much. My stomach was hopping around so much it felt like the food would miss if I ate too much too fast.

I was out the door way before my lazy teammates were even awake, but they managed a sleepy "good luck" mumbled into their respective pillows. I huffed, pausing by the door, before giving up. I just sighed and rolled my eyes at their silliness.

I spent the rest of the morning taking a walk through the woods, breathing in the morning air and trying to calm my nerves.

It didn't work.

By the time I arrived at the arena, I was still shaking a little. I wasn't afraid, exactly, but there was something about the atmosphere today, something in the air that put my teeth on edge. I kept getting the strange sensation that all was not well, that something was lurking in the shadows.

I was one of the first in the rink, Gaara arriving shortly after me. Observing him from the corner of my eye, I noticed his rigid posture, his weight held a little more over the balls of his feet, his head lowered ever so slightly, his eyes looking up and out from beneath his brow bone. The entire stance was dangerous; he looked like a predator stalking its prey. I doubted anyone other than maybe Kankuro and Temari had noticed. It was a very subtle shift.

That yellow haired kid arrived last, of course, I think his name was Naruto. He came sliding in with a raucous cry of "There's a stampede of bulls! We have to get out of here!" I glanced at him askance, amused and a little worried for his sanity. Strangely Sasuke Uchiha was a no-show, he had struck me as a competitive kind of guy, and so I never would have pegged him as the type to miss out on the final round. He was also Gaara's opponent, and that concerned me, because Gaara was obviously very eager for his fight. I wasn't sure what would happen if Sasuke completely failed to attend.

We made our way up to the viewing balcony after going through the ceremonial presentation of the Genin competing today. It was a little nerve racking to have all those people applauding us, and I was still recovering from it as I climbed the stairs leading to the balcony. Once in our little viewing box I took my place with Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara.

Gaara was acting rather oddly, even more so than usual. I had seen him riled up at the preliminaries, but somehow he was giving off an even darker and more intense vibe this time around. He simply stood there and glared down at the contestants below, at the moment it was the yellow haired kid, Naruto, and the kid with the long black hair.

I mostly ignored the match, choosing instead to watch Gaara, slightly disturbed by this new dark aura. He had an edge to his glare, his eyes bloodshot and slightly crazed if I looked closely. I could see his pulse pounding in his throat and temple, and every so often I would see the slightest twitch of one of the fingers in his tightly clinched fists.

I swallowed thickly, not liking this turn of events. _He had seemed stable enough yesterday …_

After several long minutes of staring at him, his head turned. His eyes met mine and a cold shiver of dread slid down my spine. That stare was so different from before, it was so strange. It was icy cold, arctic in the way it froze the blood in my veins, and yet strangely heated, some sort of strange passion burning deep in his eyes. He looked possessed, as though something had taken over and caused some sort of strange obsession to consume him. The blood lust that was coming off him in waves nearly made me dizzy.

It seemed as though the tension only got higher as we waited for his match, the scent of blood getting thicker and thicker in our booth. When his turn was finally called, he stalked out of the booth, and the three of us still left breathed a joint sigh of relief, his presence so palpable that the absence was a relief.

Before the match really even started he was talking to himself, muttering under his breath. Kankuro and Temari were both greatly disturbed. "Oh no. He's already started." Temari muttered, sounding terrified.

"I know … I've never seen him like this before even fighting. This is getting dangerous." Kankuro replied, almost sounding ready to pee his pants.

"Um, is this something that Gaara does on a regular basis?" I asked, a little perturbed that they had witnessed this before.

"Sometimes…" Temari answered, shuddering.

I strained to hear what it was that he was saying down there, finally resorting to sending a little breeze down there to pick up his voice. What I hear made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He was talking to his "mother" and saying that he was a good boy, and that the blood would taste so good this time. _Holy fuck, what had happened to him?_

After a few moments he seemed to get himself together, screwing a few loose screws in a little tighter, although they were still a little looser than I would like. I wouldn't be surprised if his marbles started pouring out of his ears and scattering to the winds, his sanity seemed very precarious at this particular moment.

I felt sadness well up inside me, grief that this was what he had turned into. As I watched his match it became apparent that Sasuke was getting the upper hand, every blow that he managed to land on Gaara making me flinch. I hated to see him tossed around like this. I resolved that if we made it through this with Gaara still mostly intact that I would somehow drill him in Taijutsu. I'm sure he would be just thrilled. _Yeah right. I'm probably gonna end up a bloody pulp._

Eventually he formed a hard shell of sand around himself, which personally I thought was a great idea, but judging from Temari and Kankuro's reactions, there was something not so good that was about to happen. That Sasuke kid couldn't get past his sharp defenses, and I cheered for Gaara, glad that he was finally getting the best of his opponent.

Sasuke jumped up the wall and I was confused as to why he was running away. I quickly discovered that he wasn't running away, but just getting a little distance to build up some amazing speed. He came tearing down the wall with this crazy electric chakra zipping around his hand like a Taser out of control. I gulped, not liking the look of that. When his hand busted through Gaara's defenses Kankuro, Temari, and I all gasped in utter shock, "There's no way!" "What?!" "Oh Shit!" were all said at once between the three of us.

I had gasped in surprise, but also horror and fear. I hoped that that jutsu, whatever it was hadn't hit Gaara, it had looked deadly, and proved to be extremely powerful when it broke through his defenses.

My blood ran cold when I heard the howl that issued forth from the sand bubble, "MY BLOOD!"

I answered with my own scream, calling out his name, terrified that he had been hurt. It took everything in me to keep myself from jumping down there and tearing that spiky black haired kid off him. Every instinct in me was itching to save him; I couldn't bear for him to be in pain. I had never felt like this before, this panicky horror and fury all mixed together, making me feel like I HAD to DO something. ANYTHING. My nails dug into my palms, and I didn't notice the blood start to seep out of my fists and drip down to the ground in a steady pattern. When that damn Uchiha kid started up another electric current, and I heard both him and Gaara scream, I flinched violently. Furious and beyond frustrated that all I could do right now was watch, I punched the railing, ignoring the blood that was left behind. "Fuck this! Goddam it! Gaara!"

I was oblivious to the frightened stares I was getting from his siblings. I was oblivious to everything but Gaara at the moment. I paced back and forth in front of the bar, ignoring them as they got out of my way. They were also frightened for Gaara, I dimly registered somewhere in the back of my mind, but they were also terrified of him.

When Uchiha's arm finally came out of the hole, I heard that growl, the same one from so many years ago. The sound from that terrifying beast Gaara had become. Apparently both Temari and Kankuro recognized it too, because they started to freak out. Particularly when a large sandy paw streaked with blue came out with Uchiha's arm, swiping the air with gnarled claws before retreating.

My breathing stopped, I recognized those markings. The paw was strange and amorphous, still not solid, made of shifting sand, but I could still recognize Shukaku.

We waited with bated breath as the sand globe started cracking, hoping that it wouldn't break to reveal a huge monster. The sand cracked and broke away, the remnants sliding over Gaara's hunched form. On the one hand I was incredibly relieved to see that Shukaku hadn't fully taken him over yet, on the other I was immediately frightened to see that Gaara's shoulder was bleeding and his breath came in great gulps, signifying that he was in a large amount of pain.

And then the shit hit the fan …

 **End Chapter 15**

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 **Author's Note:**

Yay! A cliffy! I bet you all just love me right now...

If you all review then maybe I'll get the next chapter out tomorrow...hint hint. *evil grin*


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: ...**

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Things started happening quickly. There was some sort of loud noise, an explosion up in the Kage seats. Temari and Kankuro leapt to attention, immediately darting down into the arena towards Gaara. I followed them, noting that everyone in the stands was drooping and some fights were starting on the peripheries.

Baki joined us in the arena, as did the proctor of the matches. They squared off in front of us, both Uchiha and I weren't entirely sure what was going on. I gathered that apparently the Sand Village was a part of some sort of infiltration mission against the Leaf. It didn't really make sense to me, since we were supposed to be allies with the Leaf, but I had to follow my team leader's orders.

Baki looked at Gaara, frustrated at him for using up all his chakra and said, "He's no use to us like this. Temari, Kankuro, Ren, take him somewhere to recover his chakra. The mission will commence then."

The three of us nodded, turning to Gaara. Both Kankuro and Temari looked as though they had no idea what to do with him, approaching, but immediately backing off when he growled at them. He was exceedingly cranky at the moment, probably because he was unused to feeling pain to this degree. Pain makes everyone cranky.

I gulped, not afraid of Gaara, but still a bit nervous as I approached, especially since he had just possessed the arm of Shukaku. I _was_ afraid of Shukaku. Gaara was none too happy when I grabbed his arm and slung it over my shoulders. He turned his head to glare at me, still a little out of it. "Get off me..." He growled, yanking his arm back. The movement made him sway and wince as he grabbed his injured shoulder.

I sighed, not in the mood for his Big Bad Attitude. "Gaara, you're injured." I said in a calm, patient manner, reaching out again to pull his arm over my shoulders, being extra gentle so as to not aggravate his wounds. He gave me a pained look, something similar to a caged injured animal.

Fury was radiating off him in waves, but underneath that was a tremor of uncertainty, of fear. Something about this village had thrown him off balance. It had probably begun when Guy Sensei had stepped between Gaara and Lee in the preliminaries, protecting his student from Gaara's death blow. That sort of display of affection, having been told that "He is precious to me," it had obviously shaken him.

I could see the turmoil in his eyes for once, the pale jade unguarded. I could tell that his pain was not only from the wound in his shoulder, but also the emotional crisis he was going through.

I whispered, "Let me help you," pleadingly, so quiet that only he could hear, begging for him to accept my help, to just accept me. Something in my tone must have reached him, wherever he had gone in his head, and he calmed slightly, his eyelids drooping and slowly closing as he passed out. He slumped, and suddenly all his weight was carried by my shoulders underneath his arm.

I stiffened my knees, surprised by how heavy he was, although I suppose that was probably his gourd and the sand it contained. The burden was immediately lightened as Kankuro quickly swooped his other arm up and braced him from the other side. I looked at him with gratitude and he nodded. I could tell that he was worried about Gaara, as was Temari. They both cared about him far more than they let on.

We quickly ran with Gaara into the woods surrounding the village, trying to get him away from the ongoing battles and to some sort of safety as fast as possible. Temari brought up the rear, making sure that we weren't overtaken by the enemy.

Soon after entering the woods it became apparent that we were being pursued, Sasuke had followed after Gaara, intent on finishing what he had started. As the rear guard, Temari stayed behind to delay him. Kankuro and I both glanced back as she disappeared behind us and the sounds of battle soon followed, both of us concerned for her safety.

After a few more minutes, suddenly we were forced to screech to a halt as a black swarm of bugs swirled into being directly in front of us. Kankuro cursed under his breath, impressing me with the breadth of his vocabulary.

Bug boy came out of the swarm, greatly disturbing the both of us. "That just aint right" I muttered to Kankuro under my breath. He nodded in complete agreement. We looked over Gaara's shoulders at each other, a single moment of complete understanding passing between us. I determined right then and there that Kankuro was an okay guy, maybe a little dumb and crude sometimes, but okay.

"We never got to have our match." Bug boy stated, pointing at Kankuro.

Kankuro grunted, looking supremely displeased by the circumstances. "Well I guess this one's mine …" he grumbled, easing out from under Gaara. I shifted him, centering his weight a little more evenly. I gave Kankuro a sympathetic look and leapt away, leaving this battle to be decided by the boys.

A minute or two after we had left the noises of the commencing battle behind us, Gaara stirred against my shoulder, his head lolling against my neck. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, purposefully ignoring the feel of his soft hair against the sensitive skin on my neck. It wasn't long after that that he woke more fully, his body tensing against mine as he realized his position.

"Put me down." His voice was low and rough in my ear, booking no arguments. I paused on the next branch, and he quickly pulled away from me. He immediately sunk to his knees, panting. I knelt next to him. I knew that I only had a few moments to help him regain his chakra and heal, so I hurried to pull a tub of salve out of my pack.

"Here." I held out the tub, "This will help your shoulder and replenish your chakra."

Without saying anything, without looking at me, he swung his arm out sideways, clotheslining me violently across the collarbone and sending me flying into the neighboring tree. I gasped as the enormous impact of his arm slamming into my chest registered throughout my nervous system, which immediately told me that it was displeased.

Groaning, I held my chest and coughed, throwing in a few wheezes for good measure. Despite the pain and discomfort, I knew that I didn't have the time to spend sitting on my ass and recovering, so I shakily got to my feet. Once I was sure I was stable, I made my way back to Gaara, who was still bent over panting on the previous tree branch.

I was pissed. Gaara's bad attitude was now seriously out of hand. I stomped the last few feet, recovering enough that I didn't wheeze when I growled, "Would you stop being such a damn brat and let me help you!"

The shock registered on his face, but he was too far gone. Rage quickly twisted his features again, and he attempted to attack me again. Ready for him this time, I dodged his somewhat clumsy attack. Thankfully his chakra hadn't fully regenerated, so he didn't use sand in his attack.

Reaching into the salve, I scooped out a handful, knowing that the only way it was getting on his wound was for me to smack him with it on the fly. Finally, after jumping around for a minute, I was able to get close enough to him that I could grab him. I was immensely grateful that he was still recovering from his wounds, because there was no way I would have been able to slam him up against the tree trunk if he had his full strength at his disposal. With much difficulty I pinned him in place with one forearm against his collarbone, my wind beating off the sand that came to his rescue. I managed to get the hand smeared with salve inside his shirt somehow, sticking it roughly down and into the collar, and smeared it on his wound. As soon as his wound was thoroughly covered with salve I leapt away.

I lunged off the tree, Gaara standing and glaring at me as he clutched his shoulder. I could tell the pain eased swiftly and his hand fell away from his wound as he straitened a little in his posture. The salve also had a chakra replenishing ability, and Gaara's chakra network quickly soaked up the extra chakra.

 _Uh oh… now I have a pissed off Gaara on my hands. Shit._

 **End Chapter 16**

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 **Author's Note:**

Yes, yes I know. It's super short. Sorry guys.

Sorry for getting it out later than I expected, the internet went down unexpectedly...

Thank you to everyone who gee me reviews!

I'll get the next one out pronto...


	17. Chapter 17

Thankfully for me, Sasuke showed up to distract Gaara. With his replenished chakra and increasingly crazed mentality and bloodlust, I didn't want any part in this battle. I quickly leapt out of the way, taking shelter in a tree nearby.

Shortly into the battle Gaara seemed to be more and more out of it, becoming increasingly insanely homicidal. He clutched his head, screaming. I gulped, backing away even further and removing myself to perch high in a tree away from the battle ground.

"You are my PREY! MY! …. PREY!" Gaara howled. As his head swung back and forth the air seemed to shift around him and sand gathered. One black eye glared out of his face when his eyes snapped open, and the sand slithered onto to his face, transforming half of it into a gruesome snarling monster's muzzle.

I flinched. Though distorted, the face was unmistakable. Gaara/Shukaku attacked Sasuke viciously, his sand slowly growing to cover half his face and one arm. Sasuke tried to counter, and managed to blow off Gaara's arm, but it just grew right back. And then Gaara grew a tail. I was amused. _A tail? Really?_

Sasuke was highly disturbed, "How many of these things is he going to grow?" he grumbled redundantly. I snorted. It should be obvious that if left to his own devises, Gaara would be fully transformed soon. But Uchiha probably didn't know about that.

Although… I couldn't blame Sasuke for being disturbed, Gaara's strange half-sand form was terrifying, and he was drooling and snarling like a rabid animal. His huge paws and tail didn't act like paws and a tail, being made of sand as they were, they split and morphed into huge multi-clawed appendages that seemed to be boneless. It was a bit disconcerting to watch his limbs grow and stretch and twist in multiple directions to prop him up in between trees, almost like some sort of spider. His power was incredible, the raw chakra he was exuding palpable even from my distance.

Despite the terror of being near him when he was out of control, making it a very real possibility that I might be hurt, I couldn't seem to pry myself away from my perch, too enthralled with the battle. My eyes were glued to Gaara, watching his sand now molding into strange sinuous body parts that covered his own body. The places where they joined together were sometimes awkward, or even grotesque, but there was something strangely mesmerizing about the way his body and the sand moved.

I watched as Gaara seemed to be about to finish the fight, which I was sure would end in the Uchiha's death. His final blow was interrupted however, by a blur of yellow. That noisy yellow headed oddball from before had managed to actually repel Gaara's deathblow before it could kill Uchiha.

This battle was much more entertaining to watch than the previous, Naruto proved to be a rather… energetic and inventive fighter. I found myself hoping that he wouldn't end up as a bloody smudge in Gaara's sand, because he was rather likeable in a loud annoying kind of way.

Laughter exploded from me, ending in a little cough as I winced and remembered that Gaara had smacked me rather hard earlier and my chest was still bruised. Naruto had blown Gaara's tail off by sticking a kunai knife with a paper bomb attached in his butt. The boy had style, kind of an odd style, but style nevertheless.

Unfortunately, Gaara didn't seem to appreciate it nearly as much as I did. Naruto only seemed to infuriate him more and more, eventually leading to him to take on the full, enormous form of Shukaku, towering over the forest like a great sandy mountain.

The one and only time I had seen Shukaku, it had been in the dead of night, so seeing him in full daylight was quite different. He was big, even bigger than I remembered, though memory probably wouldn't serve to give accurate measurements. It was difficult for the mind to truly comprehend things on such a massive scale. His body was the way I remembered, thickly muscular and lithe, like a particularly muscular cat or a lean bear.

Come to think of it…hadn't I heard somewhere that Shukaku was supposed to be a raccoon? _Huh, well I guess he looks kind of like a raccoon. A really demonic one._

And then, even stranger, Naruto summoned a giant toad. Like, absolutely massive, on the same scale as Shukaku. _Well, this is certainly going to be interesting._ I watched, disturbed as Gaara poked out of Shukaku's head, almost like a little red tipped horn, and then he went limp.

All hell broke loose. Literally.

There was a brief second of _'Huh? What the fuck?_ ' before suddenly Shukaku's eye glowed and he tipped his head back, howling to the sky. "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm Finally FREEEEE! Here I come BABY! YEAAAHHHH! I hope you're ready to DIE! Let's DO this!"

 _What the hell?_ Was the Shukaku completely free now? _Oh shit…What a personality._ I scooted up my tree to the very tippy top to get a good view of the battle. The toad had already managed to slice off one of Shukaku's arms, but that didn't even seem to faze the massive beast as he promptly started spitting big balls of wind at the toad and Naruto who were hopping around making earthquakes. At some point it looked like they tried to get a hold of him but were shaken loose.

Every time a new explosion happened my perch was shaken dangerously, sending me waving back and forth, clutching the upper narrow branches with a death grip. After a particularly large explosion I was knocked off my branch and sent with a pretty loud yelp into the next tree over, where I managed to catch myself and clung for dear life.

Shukaku must have heard my yelp because for a second I saw his golden glowing eyes slide over in my direction, freezing me in place. _Oh shit._

After just a second he switched back to the toad, but it almost seemed as though he rearranged his body slightly, to be between me and the Naruto/Toad team. I blinked, a little shocked that he hadn't come after me, but then again, he had bigger problems on his plate right now.

And then, of all strange things, the toad and Naruto turned into the nine tailed fox demon and ran at Shukaku/Gaara. This was turning into one crazy battle.

As soon as they got a hold of the big sandy beast, I watched, amazed as Naruto jumped from the nine tail who turned back into the giant red toad and then punched Gaara, waking him up and putting Shukaku back under. "Oh come on! I just got here!" he howled as his eyes turned dull once again.

Naturally, the way the battle ended was just as strange as the entire battle, Naruto head-butted Gaara, and with that Shukaku's form shattered. After a minute they launched themselves at each other one last time, Naruto soundly punching Gaara, and they both fell to the ground below.

"Oh shit." I yelped, hustling down to try and catch Gaara before he hit the ground. He hit the ground way before I could ever reach him.

 **End Chapter 17**

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 **Author's Note:**

Woohoo, super short!

I decided to post another chapter, since the last one was so short! :3

Really, the last chapter and this one were one chapter, but I cut it at a cliff hanger, just to be an ass…mwahahahaha.

Don't forget, if you review I get the next chapter out ore quickly! Seriously people, it works. And thanks to everyone who does review!


	18. Chapter 18

I leapt down from the branches, landing neatly behind Gaara. Naruto was dragging himself across the ground with his chin, and he stared intensely at Gaara, who hadn't even acknowledged me. All his attention was on the boy slowly inching towards him, and what he was saying.

"It's almost unbearable isn't it? The feeling of being all alone … I know that feeling. I've been there in that dark and lonely place, but now there are … others. Other people who mean a lot to me. I care about them more than I do myself. And I won't let anyone hurt them! That's why I won't ever give up. I will stop you, even if I have to kill you …"

"But why? Why would you do this for anyone but yourself?" Gaara groaned, still utterly confused by the concept.

"Because they saved me from myself. They rescued me from my loneliness. They were the first to accept me for who I am. They're my friends."

And then Sasuke dropped down from above, telling the yellow-head that the sand capturing their pink haired friend had crumbled away. Naruto promptly passed out with a sigh of relief.

Kankuro and Temari leapt down from above as well, landing in front of Gaara and standing at the ready should Uchiha decide to fight.

"That's enough. It's over." We all looked at Gaara in surprise, never expecting him to call it quits. After a moments pause I leaned down and hooked his arm under my shoulder again, this time Temari taking his other side. I glanced back at Sasuke, making sure he wasn't going to attack, but he looked like he was in no position to, beat up as he was. So we took off, back towards the village.

As we leapt through the trees, Gaara was eerily silent, his gaze off in the distance and glassy. He looked like he was contemplating something, perhaps what Naruto had said. I sensed that something was changing about him, the dark aura usually cloaking his figure subsiding a little. He seemed almost calm.

After a few moments he said, "I'm sorry … Kankuro … Temari." They both looked at him wide eyed, shocked.

"Uh, sure Gaara. No problem." Kankuro said with a question in his voice, and I caught him looking at Temari over the top of Gaara's head. I got the feeling that he had been apologizing for a lot more than just the recent events, perhaps also for the long years he had terrorized them. I noted that he didn't apologize to me, so maybe he still didn't consider me a potential friend yet. That stung a little bit.

When we got to a little ways away from the village Temari handed him over to me and she ran off to look for Baki and the twins. I was definitely worried about my teammates, feeling guilty for just running off and leaving them in the village. Hopefully Baki found them.

It took only a few moments for us all to convene and make a quick getaway. I was surprised by the amount of sand ninja following us, there had been many more than I had expected. Then again, I hadn't been aware that we were part of an attack against the Hidden Leaf Village. I scowled, not liking that my team had been kept in the dark, frankly not super happy about the whole "attacking our allies" thing.

All of us sand ninja quickly left the Hidden Leaf Village, and swiftly made our way back to Suna. After an hour or so Gaara asked me to let him go and he ran under his own power. We were going pretty slowly after that, but it was fine because we had already put enough distance in between us and the battle zone.

Later that night, after we had pitched camp, I joined Gaara, exhausted but still too upset by the day's events to want to even try sleeping. I found him on top of a nearby hill, looking out into the boundary where the grass started to become sand. Parking myself on the grass next to him, I leaned back on my arms and looked up at the sky, still not quite as clear and beautiful as it was in Suna.

After some time I inquired quietly, "How does your shoulder feel? It looked like a pretty bad wound." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

He twitched, perhaps surprised that I had spoken to him after everything that had happened. He slowly turned his head, just enough to look at me warily. After a few seconds of silently staring at me I turned to meet his gaze.

"What?" I asked, frowning slightly, not really sure I was comfortable with him looking at me for such long periods of time without blinking. That had always unnerved me.

He looked a little baffled and cocked his head to the side a bit, his eyes even more penetrating, looking for some sort of answer to some question that he hadn't asked. I tsked, squinting one eye and cocked the other eyebrow, and gave him an exaggerated inquisitive glare, as if he was a clue to a spy novel. He finally blinked, thank heavens. My eyes had started getting dry just watching his eyes stare for so long.

I sighed, and dropped the silly expression, growing serious once more. "Seriously Gaara, how do you feel? You're chakra dropped to a dangerous low and you suffered a severe wound."

He blinked at me slowly, seeming to process what I was saying very slowly, if at all. I wasn't entirely sure he had even heard me. I was about to say or do something very stupid out of pure aggravation when he finally responded. "How is it that you are talking to me right now?"

I scowled, a tad offended. "Well excuse me, mister lone wolf! Am I bothering you with my concern over your health?" I drawled sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest and huffing.

He recoiled slightly, his lip beginning to curl in a snarl and his eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. It lasted for a second and then he seemed to freeze and slowly forced his expression back to neutral. It was my turn to blink in surprise, not expecting that. Usually when I had said something similar in the past he hadn't hesitated to threaten to kill me. It seemed to be an annoying habit he had picked up somewhere, but I had grown semi-used to it.

This new self-control was a bit unexpected, perhaps Naruto had affected him more strongly than I had realized.

I sighed and bent my knees so I could rest my cheek on them. "I'm talking to you because I was worried about you." I mumbled, closing my eyes, but leaving one just slit open a tad to see how he would react. His eye opened wide and he leaned back a little, turning towards me fully. His gaze was surprisingly vulnerable, full of insecurities and new questions.

"You were … worried? About me?" he asked in a tone that was low and rough, his voice raw.

I kept my eyes closed and turned away from him, opening my eyes to gaze out at the fields, resting my chin on my knees. "Yeah," I muttered. Not totally comfortable with this conversation.

Apparently it was too much for Gaara too, because he also turned away and cleared his throat, "I feel fine." He mumbled, his face impassive again when I whipped my head around to stare at him in astonishment.

 _Of all the …! "I feel fine" Yeah right! Bullshit. No-one would feel "fine" after what happened to him. Even a Jinchuriki._

"Bullshit." I said blandly, not surprised when his head whipped around to glare at me in astonishment.

"What?!" he growled, still unused to being spoken to with disrespect. His mellower aura took a turn for the dark as his hackles raised. I watched as he struggled to put a lid on his aggressiveness. It didn't work very well, but he did seem to reign himself back some, meaning he didn't immediately try to kill me.

"I said …" I paused to aim a jab of air at his injured shoulder, carefully calibrating it to hit him through his sand hard enough to prove my point, but not enough to actually make his injury worse, just hurt a bit. "Bullshit." I punctuated at the appropriate moment of impact.

He yelped and snarled, really pissed off now. His body coiled with tension, looking right about ready to attack. The bright turquoise of his eyes glowed ominously.

I snorted and then sighed, figuring that I should stop antagonizing him. "Look, just take this … it'll help." I handed him a tub of bruise cream, and waited to see if he was going to try and hit me like the last two times I handed him medicine.

It looked like a struggle, but he finally accepted the cream, grudgingly saying, "Thanks …" but in such a deep, gravelly tone that it sounded like a threat. I supposed he couldn't help it at the moment.

I just sighed, "Well at least you didn't smack me this time. Maybe there's hope for you yet," and looked back out to the field, eventually lying back in the grass, rather liking the sensation. I gazed up at the stars, noting how Gaara slowly calmed down from his frazzled state next to me.

 ***Switch to Gaara POV***

What was it about this girl that never ceased to rile him up? Gaara was grumbling to himself under his breath, still mildly irritated by her antics, and still sore from her suicidal aggressive behavior. She was lucky he had decided to try and be nicer, to actually attempt making friends, to test what Naruto had spoken of.

As he thought back to the first time he had met her, he realized that it had always been this way, Ren constantly throwing him off-balance.

The first time he had seen her before the Chunin exams. It had oddly felt like someone had punched him low in the gut, that same, strange, unpleasant swooping sensation. It pissed him off.

He had spent a good amount of time fantasizing about how to kill her, imagining her sweet, sticky blood spattering against his cheeks. But oddly, that hadn't lasted too long, and soon he was too curious about her to really seriously contemplate killing her, at least not just yet. He had wanted to figure her out first, to understand why she didn't act afraid of him.

No-matter the situation, she always reacted in almost the exact opposite way anyone else would, never ceasing to surprise him. That first night she had joined him in the desert, he had confronted her about the annoying way she had stared at him all day. He had been irritated by it, but also bemused; it was so strange, the way she had been looking at him. Her eyes were different than the ones he was used to, the fearful glances, the terrified stares, the hate filled eyes that soon turned to fear. Hers were unafraid, full of all kinds of things Gaara had no names for.

When confronted she had reacted at first afraid, at least that's what he had thought, until she had grown obstinate and even rude. He had been startled, unsure how to deal with her attitude. Normally he would have killed her right there on the spot, and momentarily had considered it, but ultimately decided that she was too interesting. So, he had invaded her personal space and had been endlessly amused by his sash smacking her in the face. That was probably something he could have done for a while without getting bored, watching her face as it scrunched up, all offended.

He was so unused to any facial expression that was free of hate or fear, that her expressions fascinated him.

And so he had decided to let her live, and watched her the next day, scrutinizing her carefully to try and figure out exactly which screws were loose in her head that made her so damn interesting. Obviously whatever screw that held in self-preservation was more than loose; it was gone, totally lost. He had continued to watch her that night, drawn to her sleeping face. He had been fascinated by the way her eyelids fluttered, and how she became more and more active, various muscles twitching and spasming as her dreams got more intense.

She hadn't appeared to be having good dreams, whimpering and even crying at some points. What really caught his attention was when she said his name, it had been said as a plea, and he had assumed that she was begging for her life in the dream. He was used to being the monster in many people's nightmares, and he was strangely disappointed and also strangely thrilled at the same time. He still wasn't sure whether or not to believe her when she said that he hadn't been trying to kill her in the dream.

When he had invaded her mind at the Chunin exams, not only had she found him, but instead of cowering in fear and allowing him to use her, hoping that he wouldn't kill her like most of the villagers would have done back in Suna, she had promptly tossed him out on his butt. Then she had sent a wind to pester him until he was so irritated he posed a serious health risk to anyone within a hundred foot radius of his person.

Then when he confronted her, slamming her up against a wall by her neck for fuck's sake, she had pushed him off with a stiff breeze and essentially just blew him off entirely, walking out of the conversation as if he had bored her. That certainly had had him imagining her blood, wanting to see it, taste it, feel it spatter his skin as he killed her.

Strangely, and he still wasn't sure how she did it, the next time he saw her she had been able to calm him down. The whole situation had been so abnormal that he immediately sprouted an unhealthy curiosity, nearly an obsession, with her. He had wanted to fight her then, wanted to see if she had the balls to back up her cocky persona. And she had, she had drawn his blood with her sharp little fingernails, shocking the hell out of him once again.

Feeling pain for the first time, mild as it was compared to his current injury, had been a shock to his system, the strange sensation jolting through him like a bolt of lightning, and he had been entirely thrown for a loop. He hadn't known how to respond, but strangely the sensation of her nails in his neck hadn't been altogether unpleasant. It had excited him in strange ways, making him feel slightly out of control, similar to the way he felt when Shukaku boiled under his skin at the full moon or at the scent of blood.

And then at the preliminary battles, she had looked at him with these eyes, eyes that seemed to see him, to see how much he had been hurt and confused by his opponent's teacher saving him from Gaara. He thought maybe he understood it a little better now, but at the time it had confused the hell out of him, going against everything he believed in, that you should love only yourself.

And she had just made that confusion worse. And so he had followed her, weeks later, and she hadn't seemed all that perturbed by his presence, had even gone and followed him. She had balls, he had to give her that.

Then the final battles came around, and by that time he had been so confused and pissed off that he simply wanted to kill someone, as many someones as he could. He needed to affirm himself, to know that he still had a purpose, to know that he was still alive. And it was never enough.

Everything had gone a little blurry, he didn't even fully remember parts of it, but he knew she had been there the entire time. And that was why he had been so shocked that she had approached him this night, he had been sure that he had finally scared her off. Anyone in their right mind would be terrified of him right now, after seeing what she had. And yet she had come to him, asked him if he was okay, told him she was worried about him.

His heart squeezed in an altogether strange and not unpleasant way. He wasn't sure he liked this new feeling. There was also this odd lump in his throat, as if he had swallowed an egg whole that he didn't really know what to do about.

 **End Chapter 18**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Yay! Back to regularly sized chapters! I hope everyone enjoyed Gaara's POV.


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as Suna came into sight I groaned with joy and relief. This whole mission had been such a damn stress-fest, what with seeing Gaara again, and dealing with all my freaking emotions. And then of course there was the botched infiltration mission, which I hadn't even known about before it happened. I was just glad that it was over.

But somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn't help but be worried about what would happen now, whether Gaara would disappear again. I shook that thought from my head, there was no way I would let that happen. Even if he was a little fucked up he was still Gaara, and now that I had found him after all these years I wasn't about to lose him again.

After finally reaching the village I immediately made a beeline for my apartment, needing a good long shower to get the sand out of places meant to never feel sand.

There was barely any time for me to recover though, after a night full of strange dreams, I woke to a village that was beside itself. The Kazekage had been discovered dead, meaning that this whole mission had been orchestrated by an imposter. The entire village was in an uproar, everyone infuriated by the way we had been used. That meant that suddenly the council had to orchestrate peace treaties immediately with the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and figure out what they had to do without a Kazekage in charge. It was chaos and politics and a whole lot of freaking out.

Of course I had never really been interested in the politics of the village, and it was easy for me to ignore the pandemonium, being naturally antisocial. So the only thing that the death of the Kazekage meant to me was that Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro had lost their father. From the little I knew, he hadn't been a great father, but it still probably was pretty rough to lose him in the way they had.

So I decided to pay them a visit, just to make sure they were doing okay. I had grown kind of fond of the sand siblings. I liked Temari, her bold, outspoken personality sort of similar to mine, and I had also seen her kindness peeking through that tough exterior with her concern for Gaara, despite being terrified of him. Kankuro was dense, rude, and a bit of a bully, but even so I could tell he had a big heart and I enjoyed his sense of brash humor. And of course Gaara, was Gaara. Despite his bad attitude, I still thought of him as my best friend.

I thought about what I should do, to show my concern and stuff. People often brought flowers and said, "I'm sorry for your loss" and shit like that. That was nice and all, but it didn't really seem personal enough, and frankly I didn't know if "I'm sorry for your loss" would even be appropriate in this situation. I supposed I could just send a card or something…but again, it just wasn't really my style. We had gone through that damn mission together, I felt like I should do something better than a card.

When in doubt, I usually found that food was a good option for these sorts of things. Not a fruit basket, although here in Suna, a fruit basket was pretty damn valuable. But I was thinking more along the lines of comfort food.

I knew Gaara liked meat, and I'd bet anything he liked it spicy, since that's the way his chakra felt. I found that when sensing chakra, often favorite foods and all sorts of things went into the composition of a chakra signature. Luckily, Gaara was probably the only one I would have to guess at, since I had seen Temari and Kankuro eat often enough that I knew what they liked. Kankuro like savory stuff and Temari preferred light, somewhat sweet things.

So I gathered up my money, which was a little sparse, but enough to get the job done, and I went out on an expedition. First I stopped by a food vendor that I knew carried all kinds of meat, particularly spicy meat.

I never ate anything super spicy, so I didn't really know what exactly to get. I lingered in front of the cart for a moment, looking at the various meats on display.

"Can I help you pick out something young lady?" The older fellow behind the cart asked kindly.

"Oh, yes, please. Um…I would like to get something for a friend of mine. I think he likes meat more on the spicy side, but I'm not really sure what all the different flavors are."

"Oh, well if he likes spicy meat then chances are he's been to my cart before. I'm known around here as the best in the business. What's his name?"

I hesitated. "Um. Well. His name is Gaara." I winced, waiting for the inevitable reaction.

The man's eyes widened, and he gulped. "Did you say Gaara? You couldn't possibly mean Gaara of the Desert now could you?"

"Well…yes. I figured some food might be nice, what with the discovery about the Kazekage and all…"

I watched as his expression went through a whole myriad of contortions. At first it looked like he considered refusing my business simply on principal, not wanting anything to do with Gaara, even looking rather angry. But then his expression changed from anger to fear, and if I had to guess, I would assume that he was thinking that if I'm Gaara's friend then he'd better be nice to me otherwise he might make Gaara mad. And then it changed to confusion and bewilderment, looking at me like I was insane.

"Girl, I don't know whether you're a saint to be friends with a guy like him, or else you're a complete fool. But either way, I have what you want. He's been here before…" he shuddered, "And so I know what he likes. I'll wrap it up for you, just take it and leave."

He quickly wrapped up a sizable portion of two different kinds of meat, shoved them in a bag and practically tossed it at me.

I caught it, blinking. "Um, how much?"

"No charge. Just please leave."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks." I muttered, a little put off. Well at least that saved me some money. But I still didn't like the way I had been treated after he had found out I was Gaara's friend, although I guess it was expected.

After getting that, I went to find some various fried foods for Kankuro with plenty of sauces, because I had noticed how much he liked to dip his food. Once that was accomplished I picked up some lighter foods for Temari, various fruits that wouldn't break the bank, and some dumplings and rice balls. I had noticed that she particularly liked the rice balls with plums, so I went out of my way to make sure I had at least one of those, even if it was a little more expensive.

As I made my way to their residence I thought about how out of character this was for me, actually going out of my way to do a nice thing for someone else, actually seeking socialization. Yeah, I occasionally did nice things for the twins, but that was sort of to make up for all the abuse I normally put them through. Not that they didn't deserve it, but sometimes I still felt a little guilty. But this definitely felt weird, to do something like this for someone outside of the twins.

I felt incredibly nervous as I approached the sand sibling's house. I had known where it was, hovering around it as much as I did as an orphan so long ago, but it had been heavily guarded then, and they didn't have time for raggedy street kids like me. I almost expected to be tossed out on my ass again this time as I approached the door. This time around, no-one popped up to give me the heave ho, so I made it all the way to the door in one piece.

I briefly contemplated just leaving it on the doorstep, but figured that there were perishables in these bags, and left in the desert heat they wouldn't last for very long. So I sucked it up and gave the door a few solid raps from my knuckle, waiting to see who would answer with my breath frozen in my lungs.

"What do you want? Oh, hey there Ren, what's up?" Came Kankuro's voice from the doorway, at first hostile and cranky but quickly changing to a more pleasant tone as he saw who it was.

I blinked, a little caught off balance by the odd welcome. "Wow, is that how you always answer the door?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh…heh, yeah, sort of." Kankuro answered, chuckling.

I snorted, shaking my head. Of course he would, this was Kankuro after all. "Well, anyways. Here, I brought these for you guys. The brown bag is yours, the white one is Gaara's and Temari's is this sort of blue-gray one." I held out the bags of food, noting the way Kankuro's nose twitched as he picked up the food smells.

"Wow! Hey, what's in these bags? It smells good!" he immediately grew enthusiastic, grabbing the bags and opening the one I had indicated was his, digging around in it. "Yeah! This is awesome! You even got Sriracha sauce? Cool!"

I chuckled, watching as he picked out a few pieces of food to shove in his mouth right away. "Oh hey, you wanna come in?" he offered, mumbling through a mouth full of food, realizing I was just standing there.

I blinked, surprised by the invitation. "Oh! I, uh, I don't want to impose or anything!" I said, starting to back away a little.

"Pff, you're not imposing. Come on." He opened the door wider, and I hesitated, feeling like it would be rude for me to refuse, but a little nervous and uncomfortable. _I don't do this sort of thing…ever. How weird is this?_ After a moment I tentatively eased inside, past Kankuro into the house Gaara had grown up in. As soon as that thought popped into my mind I couldn't help but feel even more awkward and out of place.

Kankuro closed the door behind me and then padded down the hall and into some sort of kitchen area where he put down the food bags, still munching out of his. "Hey Temari! Get your butt down here! Ren brought food!"

I winced, knowing Temari was probably going to smack him upside the head for saying anything about her butt. Sure enough I heard an angry noise coming from up the stairs to our left and down came Temari, with a supremely ticked off expression on her face. "What did you just say to me?"

"Ren brought food!"

"Huh? Oh. She did? Wow, cool!" she was immediately sidetracked from being pissed off and went over to investigate.

"Um, yours are in that bag." I pointed, amazed at Kankuro's previously unknown talent for diversionary tactics.

"Oh, hi Ren! This is awesome thank you!" she chirped, her disposition completely reversed. She quickly dug through her bag, exclaiming with delight when she found the plum rice ball.

"And that bag is for Gaara." I pointed to the remaining bag.

They glanced at it, a little surprised. "Sure, we'll let him know. I dunno where he is at the moment." Kankuro said. Well, somehow I wasn't too surprised.

After a brief visit I left, not wanting to overstay my welcome. Even more than that, I hadn't wanted to accidentally run into Gaara. Even though I did really want to see him, I just felt like maybe a little time to fully absorb everything that had happened would be beneficial.

The next few weeks were a little…different.

After taking that step way out of my comfort zone, things in my life changed a little. I became a little more sociable, actively visiting with Gaara's siblings, liking them and knowing that it would help to make sure Gaara didn't disappear off my radar again. It went against the grain a little, I had become so accustomed to being by myself that being with other people was a little grating.

I wanted very much to become Gaara's friend again. I still tried to guard my heart, not wanting to get as dependent on him again and risk getting hurt, but the lure of my old friend was so strong that I simply couldn't stay away entirely.

I was terrified of the thought of being alone again, though I knew that wouldn't ever really happen. After all I had my team now and as much as they protested against my domestic violence, I knew that they considered me a friend.

Another change was that Baki started combining our two teams a little, having the twins go on missions with Kankuro or Temari and having me go with Kankuro, Temari and even Gaara. I guess he figure that we had gotten along well enough during the last mission, so we probably wouldn't kill each other.

I also noticed that Gaara began to change, very, very slowly. He started to come out and be a bit more social, though the other villagers were never particularly welcoming, usually leaving whenever he arrived, doing their best to stay out of his way.

Every time I saw Gaara he was a little less aggressive, a little more reserved, a little more sane. It appeared as though he was working hard on his control, but not used to having to control his bloodthirsty urges, it seemed as though he was having some difficulties. Every now and then he would slip up.

 _*several weeks later*_

I was taking a shower when I heard the knock on my door. Quickly turning off the water and yelling "Hold on, I'll be right there!" I hopped out. I toweled myself off hastily, and pulled on some random clothes, while tripping my way out of the bathroom and over to the door. Once I was decent I yanked the door open, taking in the bemused but serious face of the messenger waiting beyond. The bemusement probably came from my shirt being inside out and backwards.

"You have been assigned a mission. Baki requested for you to meet him in the debriefing room as soon as possible." I nodded, concerned by how seriously the messenger delivered the summons.

I closed the door, took off my shirt and put it back on correctly, fixed my skirt which I realized had the slits up the front and back instead of the sides, slid my sword sheaths into place behind my shuriken straps around my thighs and strapped on all my other various equipment.

As soon as I was ready I ran out the door, leaping from roof top to roof top while trying to squeeze some of the water from my short brown hair which I kept cut nearly chin length. It was much easier to get the water out of the longer hair that I let grow in a thin strip along the base of my skull from ear to ear and tied into a ponytail in the center. That thin ponytail went all the way down my back and way below my butt. It was the only long hair I allowed myself to keep, since it was simply too hot in the desert to have it all long as fuck.

Despite my best efforts my hair was still dripping into my eyes and down my back when I arrived for my mission debriefing. When I strode quickly into the room, my slightly bedraggled and soggy appearance earned raised eyebrows from Kankuro and Temari and a long blank stare from Gaara. I stopped, momentarily surprised to see them instead of my usual team.

"Ah, good you're here. Well don't just stand there, come in and sit down!" Baki immediately barked at me, causing me to jump to attention and quickly find a seat.

"I'm assigning the four of you this mission …"

He was interrupted by Kankuro. "Wait. The four of us?"

"Yes, Ren will be part of the team for this mission." Baki announced, glaring at Kankuro to make him shut up. Once he was sure that there would be no more interruptions he continued, "This is a mission of utmost importance. The Hidden Leaf Village has sent us a message via hawk, Sasuke Uchiha has been captured and there will be a Hidden Leaf ninja squad sent in pursuit. However, the enemy is very strong and the Hokage requested for us to send backup. The enemy is headed in this direction so you will be meeting them in the middle. This will be a B to A ranked mission. You will only stop once for rest."

We all inhaled sharply, aside from Gaara, and tensed. This was my first B ranked mission (aside from the attack on the Leaf Village which had been top secret when it was assigned.) Baki dismissed us all, telling us that we needed to leave ASAP. We were all ready, having pre-prepared due to the seriousness of the summons, so we left immediately.

After a full night and day of running we had made good ground and reached an appropriate place to rest for a few hours, all of us popping food pills and gulping them down with water from our canteens. I sat down and sighed, my endurance tested by the strenuous activity. We had reached the tree line some time ago so thankfully there was both shade and tree trunks to lean against. I rested my head back on the rough bark and contemplated how in the world Sasuke Uchiha had been captured, and why. He had seemed pretty strong…

"I am NOT!" I was interrupted mid-thought by Kankuro's bellow from across the campsite, drawing my attention to him.

He and Temari were fighting, as usual. I swear, if those two ever stopped bickering I would be concerned for their health. I'm sure it was excellent cardio. I meandered over to their side of the makeshift temporary campsite, my curiosity peeked, and noticed Gaara had already acquired a prime seat, perched up in a tree directly over them. He appeared mildly interested in their fight, which was somewhat unusual for him since he almost always ignored them.

"Oh puh-lease! There's no way!" Temari scoffed, drawing my attention back to them and away from Gaara, which was probably a good thing. "You're still a virgin, come on just admit it!" she laughed.

I snickered in amusement, so this is what had gotten Kankuro so worked up about. No wonder he looked like he was about to have an aneurism.

"I am not! Stop making shit up Temari!" he yelled, his fists balled up at his sides and looking very close to punching her.

"You so are! You and Gaara both!" she shouted right back, shaking her finger in his face.

Suddenly everyone was startled by the raspy voice coming from above them, "I'm not." He didn't say it particularly loudly or angrily, just matter-of-factly. But his comment had his siblings frozen in place, staring up at him with identical expressions of unadultured shock.

"Shit." I cussed, realizing my blunder in throwing around words like that around Gaara. I assumed that he was referring to when I had teased him by asking how he felt about losing his virginity to me. This could end up very badly.

I speedily leaped into the tree where Gaara was perched and yanked him out of the tree, slapping my hand over his mouth in the process. I muttered in his ear, "Looks like it's time for us to have that conversation," and apologized to Temari and Kankuro, whose eyeballs looked like they were ready to pop out of their skulls and their jaws were loose and free-hanging. I dragged Gaara off into the bushes for privacy.

 **End Chapter**

 **Author's Note:**

To get an idea of the hairstyle I described look up Musubi from Sekirei. She sort of has the hairstyle I'm thinking of. I'm working on a character sketch. I'll post the link when I have it done.

Actually, after this story is done I was thinking about drawing some of the scenes and putting them up on deviantart. Would anyone be interested in that? Let me know!

Get ready for the next chapter! It's gonna be hilarious.


	20. Chapter 20

I excused us and dragged Gaara a ways off, surprised by how compliant he was being. After making sure were alone, I stopped and released Gaara. Great now what? I wondered, rubbing my head and looking around, hoping for a way out of this awkward situation.

Groaning, I sighed, figuring I'd better find out how much he knew, before embarrassing myself more than absolutely necessary. Turning to Gaara, who was standing with his arms crossed and an expectant look on his face I said quickly, "Look, a virgin is someone who's never had sex before!" Testing to see if any lightbulbs went off. I sincerely hoped that he at least knew something, but… no response. Gaara was totally blank. I sighed again, heavier, and face palmed.

I was appalled. _Sure he's scary but no-one really bothered to explain this to him? I mean damn!_

"Well shit, this is going to be really fucking embarrassing." I groaned, wiping my face with my palms. I sighed once again for good measure, knowing I would need a lot of oxygen for this conversation, or else I would definitely pass out. "Okay well before we really get into the details, first I should start by telling you that I don't know very much about this myself, just the basic mechanics." He nodded.

"Alright, well, I guess … well generally sex is … shit how do I explain this?" I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers, totally red in the face by now. Taking a deep fortifying breath I continued, "Okay, so generally sex happens between a man and woman who are attracted to each other," at his blank stare I amended, "Right. Okay, they like each other a lot. Soooo…," I paused, thinking, "… it's supposed to be a way to … show affection … physically. Well that or they're just horny …" I trailed off seeing that he was following what I was saying, but still looked somewhat bemused.

I groaned, looks like I was just going to have to explain the mechanics of it … how troublesome…and embarrassing. _Well, I guess the first place to start would be the whole baby thing._ "Okay. Look. For me to explain to you the basic mechanics you need to know that sex is the way babies are made."

He blinked, his head cocking ever so slightly to the side as he absorbed that information. He still looked confused as hell, probably having no fucking clue where this was going.

I blew out a quick breath, "One thing I do know is the basic anatomy and mechanics, not much about the practical, er the practice of sex … but I know how a woman gets pregnant … or at least the mechanics behind it …I think. Generally."

I knew I was rambling, I had to get it together … Or else this was going to take forever, and it was super uncomfortable. I took a deep breath, "Okay … so …" Gaara was standing with his arms crossed, no expression on his face, only the keenness of his gaze giving away his curiosity.

 _Shit. Where to start?_ "Um … well women have special organs inside them …" I paused, trying to figure out how to explain pregnancy in the simplest possible way. _Well, first of all…_ "You do know that women get pregnant?" I make a round belly gesture in front of myself … miming a pregnant woman. "And that's where babies come from right?"

Gaara scowled, barely nodding … a tiny little jerk of his head, obviously displeased with my dumb question. Well, good. At least he knew something. But hey, I had to check. "So it's just how a woman gets pregnant that you don't know?" he nodded briskly again, still frowning at me.

"Okay … so we have these organs inside us." I pressed my hand to my abdomen, about where I figured my ovaries were, his eyes followed the movement. "They have … well, bunches of tiny eggs? I guess that's the easiest way to describe it…" His eyes widened slightly in disbelief, "Um…an egg only turns into a baby if it's fertilized…and that's where the man…uh comes in." I snorted, knowing he wouldn't get the awkward pun, heck I hadn't even intended it, only catching it on the flip side.

Gaara was leaning in slightly, his eyes just a little narrowed, betraying his fascination, "The act of sex could potentially fertilize the egg. Shit… this is where it gets a little awkward…um… the man produces a fluid that …" I groaned and face palmed again, covering my burning face. "I am so not doing this well… sorry … I'm not a great teacher I suppose."

My face and eyes were covered so I couldn't see, but I felt and heard the ground shift a little in front of me and knew that Gaara had joined me on the ground. I peeked through my fingers at him. He was sitting cross legged across from me, one knee propped up and resting an elbow on it as he regarded me with that same carefully blank expression.

"It's fine, continue." His gruff voice commanded me, bossy as ever. I tsked, rolling my eyes.

I groaned, "Okay, I'm just going to try and get through this very quickly and as simply as possible." He nodded his approval.

"Right … okay, obviously the egg is inside the woman right?"

He nodded.

"You've heard the term womb probably right?"

He paused then nodded again, looking contemplative.

"Alright so, the womb is here, approximately. I guess." I gestured to my abdomen again, he glanced and then met my eyes. "That's where the baby will be, if there is a baby, and that's where the egg gets fertilized. Right. So…there's a…passageway? Huh, maybe that's not the right term. Um, a hole?" I snorted and squinted, trying to figure out how to fucking properly describe all the female plumbing. "I'm not really explaining it well, but…I guess it's like the womb is the stomach. You, know up inside and everything. So there needs to be a throat to get to it. And for the baby to come out of. Does that make any sort of sense?"

He blinked and then glanced off into the air above me, thinking for a second. "I suppose so." He said, not looking super confused, which was pretty amazing. I was actually confusing myself.

"Good. I think. Okay, so the passageway also lets in the seed that fertilizes the egg that's hanging out in the womb." He looked a little confused and it took me a second to realize I hadn't mentioned the seed before. I hurried to explain, "Oh right … the seed is what the man produces to fertilize the egg during sex." He still looked confused. Shit. This was where it was going to get awkward again. "Um … you're familiar with your own … uh … equipment, I assume." I blushed.

His eyes squinted, looking like he was trying to piece it together. I waved my hands in the air, hoping that he'd get it all on his own. "Oh come on Gaara!" I sighed exasperated. "The male parts! About here?" I poked myself above my pubic bone, low on my belly, figuring that would get the point across. _Jeez, do I need to draw a diagram? Actually that might help…_

He swallowed, starting to get the gist and starting to get a little uncomfortable, putting the pieces together in his head. I would swear that he was just a tad pink, high on his pale cheekbones. _Is he actually blushing?_ After cleared his throat he asked, "By equipment, you mean dick?" Said in his emotionless monotone raspy voice, the words were so unexpected that my jaw unhinged and was left dangling for a good few seconds.

I was left speechless, but then for some reason I found it highly amusing and snorted, chuckling a bit, startling myself really. "Well at least you know that."

He scowled at me again, crossing his arms over his chest, not appreciating my teasing in the least.

"Okay, okay. So yeah, that's what I meant. Um …" I took a deep fortifying breath, closed my eyes, and did my very best to just fucking say it, "The man's…er…dick…goes inside the woman, in that passageway that I mentioned earlier, which has an opening…" I made an almost karate chop type of gesture with my hand, "…directly between the legs, not on the pubic bone like a dick … and well … I guess that about covers that. The guy squirts his seed and then it's done … any questions? Holy shit…" I wheezed, having tried to get it all out in one breath. My eyes were scrunched closed, and at some point I had pinched my, very hot, nose in between my fingers. I cracked one eye open to take in his response.

His eyes were very wide, his lips parted, his cheeks pink. Overall his face was shocked, confused, and a little intrigued, but also a little disgusted.

All this embarrassment was almost worth seeing that expression on his face, the first unguarded one I had seen in a long time, and by far the most humorous one. Actually, in a strange way it was also attractive. I swallowed, and glanced away, made a little uncomfortable by the way I was suddenly drawn to him.

My eyes slid back to his at the sound of his raspy voice, "Why? It sounds … unpleasant." His voice was even raspier than normal, still shocked it seemed and perhaps a little grossed out.

"Oh, right. I forgot that part. Making a baby is one reason for having sex, but usually that's just something that you guard against when having sex. There are certain herbs that can prevent pregnancy." He frowned, his non-existent eyebrows scrunching and eyes squinting into gleaming jade slits.

"Um sex is … it's supposed to feel very good." He blinked, his eyes widening again ever so slightly, "How do I explain it …remember how I told you it's an expression of affection? Well, it's supposed to feel better than anything else, physically. And there's lots of stuff besides just the … uh … penetration part, but there's kissing and other kinds of touching involved …I think…um…this is the part where I know basically nothing. Like I said, I just know kind of the mechanics, but not really what all goes into it outside of that." I trailed off, a little uncomfortable with the glint in his eyes and the contemplative look on his face, mostly uncomfortable with my reaction to his expression.

"…I see …" his voice was just a tad deeper than usually, his rasp closer to a growl. He seemed more curious now, still somewhat shell shocked, and probably still a bit disgusted. I know I was when I first heard about it. I could remember thinking that it was the strangest, most gross thing I had ever heard. Frankly, I still thought it was strange.

"So that's it …" I tried to calm my blush and stood. Brushing off my butt where I had been sitting on the ground. Gaara remand seated, and I found myself standing over him for once. His eyes trailed up my body with that same gleaming contemplation in their depth and I gulped, a little concerned that maybe I shouldn't have told him after all, what with the way he was eyeing me now.

I quickly made my way back to the campsite, overly aware of Gaara following. Thinking to myself, _well…that was fun…not. How do I always end up in these ridiculous situations anyways?_

 **End Chapter 20**

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 **Author's Note:**

The long awaited chapter! I hope everyone found it as amusing and awkward as I did when writing it. It was surprisingly difficult…but still lots of fun!


	21. Chapter 21

After only another hour we were forced to resume the brutal pace to get to the rendezvous point in time to head off the enemy. It took several more hours to reach our destination so I focused on the physical exercise, refusing to acknowledge the humiliating conversation that had taken place. Every time it did manage to sneak into my brain I could feel myself getting flushed, and I was already flushed from exertion, so more heat was not required.

I noticed Kankuro and Temari looking from me to Gaara and back again, trying to figure out what in the hell had just happened, both of them still shell shocked and probably thinking all sorts of things that could get the two of us into serious trouble. I sincerely hoped that they hadn't made the obvious connection, that somehow we were "together" or something stupid like that. From their conniving expressions they probably already had and were plotting on how to use it to their advantage.

Thankfully we did make it in time to assist the Leaf Ninja and Temari shot off to help pineapple head, while Kankuro headed in the direction of the boy with the puppy-for-a-hat. Gaara made his way in the direction that the enemy had taken Sasuke and I headed back towards the boy with the super long black hair.

Unfortunately, the opponent that I ended up facing was one who seemed to have the ability to summon spiders, a creature that I hated. I passed through a field of smashed spiders as large as my fist and one very large spider that likewise seemed incapacitated. I hoped that this meant that I wouldn't have to deal with any of the creepy crawlies myself. When I finally caught up with them I found the boy, Neji I think was his name, in a bit of a tight spot, with spider dude hiding somewhere in the trees while doing his best to make Neji a human pin cushion with some very ugly arrows.

I jumped into the fray, announcing myself as, "I am an ally of the Leaf from the Sand. My comrades have gone to help your friends."

Neji turned his pale gray eyes to me, "My thanks. I can handle this guy on my own, but the help is appreciated."

I nodded, realizing that I was dealing with someone with a lot of pride. I think I remembered from the Chunin exams that he came from some sort of prominent family, so that probably explained his attitude. I was fine with that though; there was nothing wrong with being confidant in your abilities.

"I'll fetch spider boy. How about that?" I asked, getting a raised eyebrow in response.

I quickly covered his back and sent a breeze out to search for the enemy hiding in the trees. He was easily discoverable and I solved the matter by sending a tornado in that direction, carving a path of destruction through the forest and quickly scooping up the enemy, tossing him to us. He landed on his back, the extra arms tossing this way and that, to try and right himself. He really did look like some sort of grotesque bug stuck on his back.

After some floundering, he managed to right himself and prepared to attack. I could tell that he was already injured, his chakra quite low from battling Neji. Despite the long strenuous run, I was still fresher than he was, so it was a simple matter to punch his lights out with a highly powered Kazegame Jutsu, Gale Fist.

He recoiled and keeled over, stunned by the blow and out for the count. I yelped and cradled my fist in my other hand. His face had been unbelievably hard, possibly breaking a few bones and those damn saber teeth of his had torn a couple of deep wounds in between my first and second knuckle and also between my third and fourth knuckle.

Normally the wind infused chakra that I used for these sorts of blows served several purposes. One, it would coat my fist, or knee or elbow, thus protecting it from the surface I had hit. And of course the second reason was that it would infuse power into the hit, allowing me to bring down a brick wall with one blow, while doing little to no damage to myself. Strangely though, whatever jutsu he had used to transform himself into such an ugly mug had also made his skin unnaturally tough, and I had miscalibrated the amount of wind I would need for protection, using the large majority of it for momentum and not enough as a shield.

The pain radiating from my hand had me cussing under my breath as I cradled it against my chest. I ignored it for the moment, choosing to turn to Neji and determine if he was seriously injured. Aside from extreme chakra loss and a few smaller injuries here and there he seemed relatively okay. I told him about our mission and that we had been sent to assist in the recovery mission of Sasuke Uchiha.

After a few moments of discussion he decided to go back and check on his comrades that had been left behind, and I went forwards, in the direction Gaara had gone, figuring that that was also the direction the enemy had taken Sasuke. So I'd bet that would be the direction to go. As I leapt through the trees, following Gaara's chakra signature since it was the most familiar and thus easiest for me to find, I took inventory of my injury. It wasn't too bad, though it hurt like hell and looked pretty gnarly. I could see the knuckle bones poking out in a couple of places where the skin had been torn. I winced and reached back into one of my pouches, pulling out a roll of bandages, and quickly wrapped up my knuckles.

When I reached Gaara, his battle had already been decided and he was pretty low on Chakra and as I looked out onto the battlefield I could see why. The forest had been turned into a desert within a several mile radius, and I gaped at the show of power. I knew that Gaara was powerful, he had been for as long as I had known him, but this was insane. He had somehow _made_ more sand, actually transforming the landscape from lush and forested into barren desert.

The entire mission ended soon after that, called off by Kakashi as he came back with a passed out Naruto draped over his shoulder. I could sense that Gaara was concerned for the yellow head, and frankly I was too, he was a pretty likable guy from what I had seen of him. Plus, he had been a major factor in Gaara's mood adjustment, and I would be eternally grateful to him for that.

The Leaf Village provided us with a place to stay for the night, which we were all extremely grateful for, and we all collapsed on our beds, immediately falling asleep. All of us, except for Gaara of course.

After some much needed rest, we returned to Suna, taking it a little easier this time around. The run up here had been insane. Covering that much distance with only one rest had thoroughly exhausted us and even a good night's sleep hadn't completely removed the stress from our bodies.

Although, I almost wished that we had a harder pace on the way back, because the leisure allowed me to think more about that stupid conversation I had had with Gaara before the battle. It was a little awkward, even though the excitement from the battle had erased some of the embarrassing conversation from our minds, I still found myself a little self-conscious around Gaara. He also seemed hyperaware of my presence, always turning to look at me whenever I approached him.

I still couldn't believe that I had had to have "the talk" with him. I mean really, that was a seriously dropped ball in someone's court. If his father hadn't done it, which I couldn't really imagine happening anyways, then I would have thought Kankuro would have picked up the challenge. _Maybe I should have a serious conversation with Gaara's older brother…_

Once back in the village, I spent a little time trying to avoid Gaara, until the whole thing had blown over. Gaara seemed to be everywhere I went though, almost as if he was following me, and it was starting to get on my nerves.

 ***Gaara POV***

After returning home from the mission, Gaara kept finding his mind occupied more and more by what Ren had told him in the forest. That sort of thing had never really bothered him before. Then again, until recently he had been more interested in killing people than in getting to know them, so any sort of "affection" whether physically shown or not probably wouldn't have interested him.

Although, he couldn't help but wonder if, had he known what he did now, little as it was, would he have pursued it? He had been in the mindset of ' _if I want it, it's mine_.' So perhaps it was a good thing he had only learned about this now, after gaining a little more control over himself.

After Naruto had spoken to him in the forest at the Chunin exams, he had decided to give what the other boy had said a try, to see if friends really were worth the trouble. It had been a life changing experience, and he had quickly discovered, that as soon as he cast aside the whole notion of 'love only yourself' a whole new world opened up for him, one that seemed infinitely more inviting. He had worked hard, putting himself under an iron control to try and get his bad habit of letting Shukaku influence his actions under wraps.

* * *

 **Warning: Semi-Explicit Content Coming Up**

 **If that offends you, you might consider skipping the rest of this chapter**

* * *

That night, after returning home, he lay in his bed, his mind buzzing over everything he had learned. It helped to explain how his body sometimes did strange things, getting hard and uncomfortably stiff in certain places.

Thinking about that, Gaara snorted, remembering Ren's flustered laughing expression when he had said the word 'dick.' Just saying that word in front of her had felt so strange… and oddly a little exciting. Of course he hadn't shown that, he had maintained a careful mask, as much as possible, to make sure she continued what she was saying, and to try and make it a little less awkward for her. After all, he did appreciate her going to all the trouble of telling him these things, knowing that it must have been extremely embarrassing for her.

He couldn't help but feel a little guilty at just how much he had enjoyed her embarrassment. Not really in a mean way, it had simply excited him in that strange way that he was starting to associate with his dick sprouting an annoying life of its own.

His dick had always irritated and confused the hell out of him when it did that. At times there had been this strange tension that built up in his lower belly, and he had always felt the need to alleviate it, but hadn't ever bothered before. Before the Chunin exams, he simply had found it a nuisance and strapped it tightly to his belly with his sand armor, tightly enough that the discomfort and mild pain forced it to soften, ignoring it in favor of searching for new victims to help him feel alive.

He had never touched it when it was hard, aside from constricting it so tightly with his sand armor that it hurt. Even after the Chunin exams, he hadn't messed with it, still finding it somewhat of a nuisance. The one time he had poked it out of curiosity and a sense of irritated aggravation, as if to say ' _what the hell is wrong with you_?' it had sent an intense shock through his nervous system. An incredible intense pleasure that had immediately made him want to indulge and mess with it more. But at that point he had himself under such tight control, that letting himself do that felt too much like losing control. The urge to touch himself had been comparable to that obsessive urge to kill before, bloodlust traded for regular lust. But it had been so similar that it freaked him out and he had immediately gone back to the sand method.

Now that he knew what he did about what it was used for, it made sense why it did what it did. And knowing that it was a normal thing people did, something that they actually did with each other as a way to show affection, somehow made it seem okay.

Frankly it was all quite fascinating, and perhaps a little disturbing to think about. Thinking about doing that, with someone else, it sent his mind into a dangerous tailspin. On the one hand, physical contact was so foreign to him, almost to the point that it was uncomfortable and pissed him off. He had only ever known physical contact with another person to end badly, usually when someone was trying to kill him, or in the case of Kankuro, boss him around. On the other hand, he had this strange longing for physical contact, to touch another human being with his own skin. He supposed that it had always been there, but had only recently acknowledged it…somewhat.

But that much physical contact was…daunting. Almost frightening, and Gaara was very uncomfortable with the emotion called fear, not having experienced it since his childhood, preferring anger. Well, that wasn't entirely true, he had experienced a great deal of fear caused by the conflicting emotions and confusion during the Chunin exams, and he still remembered how unpleasant that had been.

Even so… as strange as it sounded, and even though it seemed a little disgusting, the thought of what Ren had described still held this odd thrall over him. It was such a foreign concept, putting your body into another person's body? It just sounded…painful, and weird. Although he supposed that if there was an opening in the body actually made for that…

That was one of the things that was disturbing about it, it sounded eerily like shoving a sword into someone's belly, but of course that was fatal.

But the idea of putting his dick anywhere like what she had described, not that she had really described it all that much, was …sort of exciting, if a little disturbing. Actually he wondered what it would look like, since that was one thing that she hadn't covered in the basic information she gave him.

Naturally all of these thoughts led to that same situation that he had always been irritated by before. He sighed and propped his head up on one arm, staring down his chest and stomach to the lump that appeared between his hipbones. He glared at it, mildly irritated that it had distracted him from his train of thought. Old habits die hard, and Gaara knew that better than anyone, so the irritation accompanying the hardening of his dick was a knee jerk reaction for him.

But really, if he thought about it, he was actually quite curious now. Ren had said that the act of sex was supposed to be very pleasurable, and he didn't really know how that would work. Pleasure for him was unknown, limited to the pleasure of tasting his favorite food. Or he supposed he had found sadistic pleasure when he was still a murderous serial killer. But physical pleasure…he didn't know what that was.

* * *

 **Second Warning: Explicit Content Coming Up**

 **If Lemons/Limes aren't your thing, then go ahead and go to the next chapter**

* * *

Gaara had never dealt well with curiosity. Which was a blessing, since it had saved Ren's life. Once he became curious about something, he almost grew obsessed until he could figure it out. And this was no different, the curiosity burning in his gut, making him hesitantly reach a hand down to rest on the lump.

That slight pressure felt kind of good actually, and he blinked, a little surprised. He titled his head to the side, contemplating it for a moment before he pressed down a little more firmly, hissing when it resulted in a tightening in his gut and a zing of pleasure to cross his senses.

He gasped. _OH. So that's what she meant by pleasure. Huh. What an interesting feeling._ He had never felt anything like it before, but immediately decided that he liked it. Seeking more, even more curious now, he cupped his hand around the hardened shaft and squeezed. He grunted, his hips flexing into his palm at the new sensation. _Shit. That feels…_

He was shocked by how his body had responded without his conscious decision to move. The natural urge to buck his hips into his hand had simply happened, and that was definitely a little disconcerting.

After a moment he squeezed again, his hips doing that thing again as the air hissed out of him. It seemed the act of squeezing was what was pleasurable, not just maintaining the squeeze. He huffed, finding the obstruction of his pants to be irritating now. He quickly unbuttoned and unzipped, shoving them down a little so he could have better access.

He looked down at his dick, feeling it throb, and almost a little shocked by how different it looked. He supposed he had never actually looked at it when it was hard before, and the change was shocking. The size difference was the first thing that caught his attention. He had known it grew larger when it got stiff, but seeing it was different from just feeling it. It was actually quite fascinating. It was also a slightly different shape, or maybe the shape was just more visible now.

After the brief inspection he eagerly continued, putting his hand back where it had been before, only this time he could curl his entire hand around it. He immediately found that the sensation was much more intense and much more pleasurable. He groaned, his eyes shutting as he closed his fist around the shaft, the sensation completely obliterating all thought from his mind. When he squeezed, his hips bucked up almost violently, shoving his dick into his fist.

The stroking motion that happened when he bucked sent a shock of pleasure throughout his system. That had felt the best by far. Curious once again, panting, he squinted down and experimentally drew his fist up and down the shaft. His eyes immediately slammed shut again, his head tilting back into the pillows as he arched. Unable to do anything but follow what his body was saying, what it was demanding, his fist pumped up and down, his hips thrusting all on their own, his stomach tensing.

After a moment he was slightly distracted by several things, a hissing sound, a creaking sound, the light flickering from behind his closed eyelids, and something touching his foot. He jerked, his hand coming off his dick as he sat up, looking around the room in shock.

He had always known his sand was tied to his emotions, particularly reacting when he was experiencing strong emotions like fear or anger, but he certainly hadn't expected this. Without his knowledge the cork had popped out of his gourd and sand was pouring out of it onto the ground. But it didn't stay there for long. It was climbing pretty much every vertical surface in sinuous rivulets, looking for all the world like suddenly either there were hundreds of tawny snakes curling around all his furniture, across the floors, up his walls and even over his ceiling, or else suddenly sand sprouted like vines. It was even crawling around his bed posts, which is what had made those creaking noises, and the light had shifted and moved because of it slipping across his window. And it had gotten on the bed with him, which is what had touched his foot. And it wasn't even staying fully on surfaces. Tendrils were swirling through the air, making corkscrews and curlicues in the air as if it was dancing.

 _Well … this is definitely odd._ _Now what?_ He thought, watching the sand start to slow down a little in its dance through the air and in its traveling speed across all the surfaces in his room, reacting to the reduction in his lust.

He was torn, the sand reacting like this disturbed him greatly, but on the other hand his body was insisting that he continue what he had been doing. Eventually he lay back, deciding to ignore the sand for now. It took a second to get back to where he was, still overly aware of the sand and almost self-conscious in a weird way. But soon the rhythm of his fist took over and he couldn't spend any time thinking anymore.

He groaned and hissed, the pleasure mounting thickly. He easily ignored the sand twisting around his foot, and the sand he could feel coming off the headboard, touching his arm where it was above his head, his hand gripping the pillow.

A low volume growl started up in his chest, constant and punctuated by various groans and heavy breathing as he continued, the sensations mounting in his lower belly. His head flopped to the side, his neck tensed and arched, the tendons tight, and his eyes opened slightly, blurrily watching with absolutely no comprehension as the sand danced and swirled through the air.

Everything seemed to mount more and more quickly, the pleasure increasing to the point he couldn't think at all, the only thing going on for him was sensation, specifically that single pleasurable sensation that had his muscles all tensing. His fist worked faster and faster, as the pleasure increased.

And then suddenly it all came to a head, all the sensations suddenly becoming a million times more powerful, more pleasurable, and swamping his system. He tensed and groaned, his muscles freezing. The powerful sensations rushed through his body, and he felt his dick pulsing in his hand, his balls drawn up tight. There was a series of extremely pleasurable pulses and contractions that went through that area of his body and suddenly there was something wet spurting onto his stomach.

He shuddered, realizing that the experience had reached some sort of climax, and finding himself left boneless in the aftermath. He lay there gasping and limp, random pulses still occasionally making him twitch against his wet stomach.

He took his hand away and slowly raised it, squinting one eye lazily open and observing with some confusion and curiosity the thick milky liquid spattered over the back of his hand. It took him a while, his brain not functioning properly, before he remembered what Ren had said about there being a liquid that he would produce, some sort of seed. It was a fascinating concept, to think that this strange sticky fluid could potentially fertilize an egg and create a baby. Of course his mind wasn't up to processing those sorts of thoughts, so he simply found that he was glad he hadn't been wearing a shirt when he had finished.

After roughly wiping off the wet, sticky mess, he fixed his pants and quickly zoned out into as close to sleep as he could go, without letting Shukaku out.

 **End Chapter 21**

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 **Author's Note:**

So for everyone who stayed to the end...What did you think? I hope you enjoyed Gaara's curiosity... ;)


	22. Chapter 22

After a week of doing my very best to avoid the sand siblings, it was inevitable that eventually they would catch up with me. I was on my way to the training grounds when suddenly I was yanked into an alleyway, and found myself cornered by Kankuro and Temari.

"Holy shit! What the hell you two?! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I yelped, glaring at them.

They shared a look and then Kankuro asked point-blank, "Ren, are you doing our younger brother?"

There was a brief moment of confusion as I translated his sentence, not used to being asked if I was "doing" anyone else. Once I realized what he meant I gasped, shocked, embarrassed, offended, and little pissed off. "What in the…?! What would give you that idea?! What the fuck kind of question is that anyway?!"

Temari just gave me this look, like 'really bitch?' but Kankuro couldn't stay silent and had to run his big mouth. "Oh come on, you guys have been giving each other eyes for ages now. And then on the mission when you dragged Gaara away for a private conversation? Gaara did say he wasn't a virgin … so …" He waggled his painted eyebrows suggestively.

I groaned and face palmed, so not having this conversation right now. "Oh for fuck's sake…" I cussed. "No! No, we are not a couple or involved in that sort of way at all! I dragged him off to give him a lecture on what the word 'virgin' meant, since he was obviously confused. I just didn't want him to embarrass himself! Which, by the way Kankuro, way to drop the ball man. You really couldn't give him 'the talk' yourself?"

Kankuro scowled, looking a little uncomfortable now.

Temari thinned her lips and cocked an eyebrow, crossing her arms under her breasts and doing a pretty good Gaara impression. "Then why would he say that he wasn't a virgin if he didn't know anything about it, hmm?" she questioned.

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers in exasperation, "When I drew his blood, in the forest of death during the Chunin exams, do you remember?" They both nodded, "Well I may have said an inappropriate joke of some sort about how I had taken his virginity …" I trailed off mumbling. I was a bit embarrassed to have said something so crude to begin with.

There was a long pause, and then Kankuro busted out laughing, bending over to grip his knees as guffaws shook his body. Even Temari snickered behind her hand, attempting to appear classier than Kankuro, though that wasn't exactly difficult to do.

"Oh … Wow … That's the best thing I've heard … Ever …" Kankuro wheezed, still chuckling, while he wiped his eyes.

I snickered, "Um … Kankuro your face paint is … well … it's sort of …" I trailed off laughing. His face paint was all messed up from his eyes watering and from rubbing his eyes.

He groaned and cussed, running off to fix his makeup. Temari also said she had to go, saying that she, Kankuro, and Gaara had to be in the training grounds by a certain time today because they had been ordered to take on some students as a precursor to the academy.

I offered her my sympathies. "Wow, that sounds like it might suck a little. I'm actually headed that way myself, mind I tag along?"

"Yeah sure, no problem. So, did you seriously have 'the talk' with Gaara?" Temari asked, snickering as we headed off in that direction.

I snorted, flushing a little. "Yeah…"

She laughed. "Oh my god. Wow. So how did that go?"

I flushed a little harder, remembering it, "Well…it was…embarrassing. And awkward. VERY awkward."

She laughed harder. "And how'd he take it?"

"He looked sort of confused, grossed out, and curious. And super shocked. It was actually pretty funny." I snickered.

"Sheesh, I wish I could have seen that."

We chatted until we got to the training grounds, at which point Temari excused herself and went off to join what looked like a sizable group of prospective ninja trainees. I wandered over to an area a little ways away from them, but still close enough so that I could spy on them. Kankuro came rushing in a second later, his face paint all fixed.

I watched as Temari took charge, telling all the new students to choose a weapon. A shy girl from the middle raised her hand and timidly asked if it was absolutely necessary to choose a weapon.

I blinked, shocked. _What the hell?_

When Temari inquired why she would ask that, the mousy girl elaborated by saying, "If we all have weapons it'll be dangerous. Someone could get killed."

I felt sorry for the poor innocent girl, she didn't really seem to be ninja material. _Why in the world is she here training to be a ninja if she doesn't like weapons_? I couldn't help but wonder at the choices this girl had made to bring her here.

Gaara suddenly spoke, causing everyone to gasp and tense up, "A weapon is like …" he paused, his eyes tightening as he noticed the fear in all the potential students eyes. He stopped whatever it was he was saying and blew it off, "Forget it, it's not important."

I winced.

Kankuro and Temari traded looks and both scolded the brown haired girl, "This isn't a game we're playing," Temari said.

"If you went into battle with that attitude you'd get yourself killed," Kankuro added.

The mousy girl quickly apologized and the lesson continued, Kankuro telling the assembled trainees that they could choose their instructor. My stomach tensed in anxiety, worried that no one would choose Gaara. If that were to happen I knew he'd be hurt, though he wouldn't show it, and I hated the thought of him being shunned again.I sent a breeze over to listen in, my attention peeked, and not wanting to miss a thing, concerned for Gaara.

Temari turned to Gaara and muttered, "Gaara will you lighten up already? Try not to look so mean, or else no one's going to want to be in your group."

I snorted. That was just Gaara's mask, he always looked a little cranky. Well, not really cranky so much anymore, but still very intense. It was probably those eyes of his, the way he looked at you, it felt as though he was staring you down, dissecting you with his gaze, right down to your soul. It was that sort of intensity in his eyes that usually made people uncomfortable around him.

I switched my attention and listened in to what some of the kids were saying. One guy spoke to another about how his father had said Gaara was the Sand Village's ultimate weapon. Another said that if Gaara got mad he could destroy the whole village. They all seemed to be frightened of him and my heart squeezed, feeling furious with them and their parents for spreading these fears even after Gaara had changed. Sure he used to be worth fearing, but he would never hurt anyone from his village now. They had nothing to fear from him anymore, generally speaking.

I clenched my fists as everyone went to either Temari or Kankuro, leaving Gaara alone in the center. I felt like either punching something or crying, but did neither.

To my surprise, the shy girl from earlier timidly approached Gaara and asked him to be her sensei. I blinked, shocked, never having expected her to be the bravest of the group when she had appeared to be such a timid little thing.

Gaara also seemed surprised, though his face didn't change, "Are you sure you want that?" he inquired, his voice slightly higher pitched with surprise, sounding almost melodic as opposed to his normal gravelly tones.

Thankfully she didn't back out, and she once again asked him to teach her. I listened in to their conversation as I absentmindedly threw shurikens at a dummy.

"What is your name?" He asked, his voice back to normal.

"Matsuri" she replied. And I glanced at her, taking in her appearance from her plain brown hair and pleasant face to the scarf around her neck. Over all she looked like a nice person and I hoped that she would be able to give Gaara the benefit of the doubt. _It would do him good to have a student like her,_ I thought.

"Matsuri, you must choose a weapon." Gaara intoned, and though I couldn't really see his expression from where I was he sounded pleased, though I'm sure he didn't show it on his typically impassive face. I doubt he had expected for anyone to choose him as a teacher.

I watched, continuing to toss a few shurikens without really looking, though I knew they hit their mark. Matsuri seemed to have some sort of panic attack. When Gaara inquired what was wrong, since she had been standing there for a few moments getting paler and sweatier by the second, she seemed to startle. I noted with some amusement that in her confusion she grabbed a huge club, so heavy she could barely lift it.

I snickered when Gaara said in his monotone way, "I want you to attack me with that. Attack me like you want to kill me." The way he said it didn't sound sarcastic at all, or like he was making fun of her, but I knew in his own way he was, just a little. Mainly I would bet that he simply wanted to show her that she couldn't wield the damn thing.

Surprisingly she responded with, "yessir," and actually tried to lift the huge piece of metal. I snorted and then laughed outright as she tilted this way and that, before falling over completely. She really was kind of cute in a ditzy sort of way.

I started laughing even harder when Gaara responded to her falling over with a very subtle sardonic look and, "Beware a demon with an iron club, but that doesn't apply to you." I had to pause my own training to wipe the tears from my eyes. Gaara was always so taciturn that you really had to know him well to pick up on his dry, often dark, sense of humor. It was usually subtle, and sometimes could be taken as an insult rather than a joke.

I was surprised that she only responded by asking which weapon he thought would be best for her. Personally, I probably would have told him where in his anatomy he could put that club, but then again I usually responded to his teasing with my own brand of teasing.

Gaara did his typical, "Hm," and carefully sifted through the weapons laid out on the table, obviously taking his new job as sensei very seriously as he considered what would best suite his student.

After a minute he picked up a rope javelin, a weapon that I was relatively unfamiliar with. I was intrigued and watched closely as Gaara leapt nimbly over the table, taking a stance in the training grounds. He pulled the rope taught between his hands, and then I inhaled a deep appreciative breath as I admired his technique, twirling the roped tipped with a sharp blade around his body with ease.

I hadn't ever really seen him use any weapon other than his sand before, so I was quite impressed with his masterful handling of a weapon even I was unfamiliar with. He explained to his student that the blade wasn't an offensive weapon, but rather was meant to keep the enemy at a distance. He grunted as he threw the rope at a training post, wrapping it snuggly. He explained that the rope was meant to incapacitate the opponent, and told her that she would have to train until the rope was an extension of her body.

After a while I grew bored and began to train in earnest, practicing my wind blade technique as well as with my physical swords. An hour or so later I decided to call it quits and headed back home. As I left I passed by Gaara, waving hi and grinned at him. He gave me one of his small nearly imperceptible smiles in return. His student glanced up from her training and looked from him to me and back again. Before I was out of earshot I faintly heard her asking Gaara "Who was that?" and heard Gaara reply, "A friend."

I smiled, just a little giddy with the knowledge that Gaara considered me a friend and had introduced me as such to his student.

The next day I went out to the training fields again to continue honing my skills with my wind chakra, testing out a few new jutsu. Coincidentally I ran into Gaara and Matsuri again. This time I approached and said, "Hey Gaara, training your new student again today? I'm impressed, she must be very determined."

He looked over and gave me one of his long impenetrable stares, not in a way that told me he was irritable that I had interrupted his lesson, but simply as a way of acknowledging my presence. "Yes." He responded, in his typical minimalist way. To be honest I wouldn't have thought he would make a good teacher with his anti-social tendencies and taciturn manner.

I smiled at Matsuri, introducing myself very briefly, "Hey there Matsuri, I'm Ren. Sorry for interrupting your lesson, I was just on my way to train and wanted to say hi to your sensei. I'll let you get back to it." I waved, leaving her a little bewildered and trotted off to the other side of the training field to set up my training equipment.

I wasn't paying as much attention to them today as I had been yesterday, since I was more focused on my own training. And for good reason, the techniques I was using might cause some problems if I lost my concentration. As I very carefully layered thin sheets of air on top of each other, using all my focus and working on constructing the proper hands signs, occasionally the wind would get away from me and cause a mild explosion, knocking over all my training dummies, which I would then have to set back up.

It was during one of these brief pauses, that I did notice that Matsuri seemed to be having another panic attack. I was intrigued and so I paused my training entirely and sent over a sensory breeze to listen in on their conversation as she explained that she had watched her family be killed by weapons. Gaara asked her why she wanted to wield a weapon in the first place. When she didn't respond he offered his own, saying that he remembered when Naruto had protected his friends and how that had affected him.

He left the training field after that, and I resumed my practice, noting that Matsuri had stayed behind to train a little longer. I was proud of my friend's student. Despite what I had first thought, she appeared to have what it took to become a fine ninja, strength and determination and perseverance, despite her obvious PTSD. I felt empathy for her, having my own issues with post-traumatic stress, being kept awake most nights by it in fact.

I decided to stay a while and keep an eye out for her, maybe even offer her some water from my canteen in a few minutes if she stayed to train that long.

It was a good thing I did, because only a minute or so later I was distracted from my training again when I heard the sound of a woman's voice calling down from the upper wall, "Hey, you're Gaara's student right? Well sorry but you're coming with us."

My head whipped around in shock, the words registering lightning fast in my brain as a threat, and I immediately spun around, calling forth my Telaria Jutsu on the fly, my feet sending up a dust cloud. I dashed across the training grounds within a millisecond to Matsuri, not about to have her taken anywhere when I was around. I skidded to a halt in front of her, and observed that there were four ninja on the wall, none of whom looked like sand ninja. My legs bent and I assumed a protective battle stance in front of the terrified brunette, yelling "Oh yeah? Well why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

The woman chuckled, "And who are you?"

"Me? Oh, nobody special. But I won't let you take this girl." I summoned wind to my palms, extending it out along the lines of my fingers to form invisible blades, utilizing my Wind Blade Jutsu, ready to counter any attack they may have in store. The air whirred and then cracked like thunder as it fully extended, the displacement of the honed, compressed, and sharpened air that flowed from my hands creating a backlash of wind that send a dust cloud out in front of me.

"Well, sorry. But she's coming with us." The woman laughed.

I snarled, slashing one blade through the air, the friction of the air making a shriek, easily expressing my displeasure at her statement through the sound of my weapon.

A strange blue line streaked down the vertical rock wall, some sort of bendable spear or sword, although it was difficult to tell. I braced my feet and swung up my wind blades in a crossed guard in front of me, successfully blocking the oncoming weapon, surprised by the power and momentum behind the thing. I had never quite seen anything like it before. It drew back and struck again, just like the tail of a scorpion or the lunging head of a viper. I blocked again, crossing my blades over its neck behind the head and then swiveling them around and down, shoving the blue tip into the ground. It withdrew from the ground and stabbed forwards again.

This time however, as I was busy blocking the one attack, a sudden mini tornado blasted through the arena, heading for the space right between me and Matsuri. I cussed, seeing it coming from the side and quickly spun my wind blade around the tip of the blue thing and, once on top, smacked it down into the ground, hard, pinning it there by drawing my real sword with my other hand and spearing through the top joint. I quickly made the appropriate hand signs to summon a wind barrier, right before the little tornado hit.

"Shit, this motherfucker's stronger than I thought." I hissed, bracing myself and holding out both palms to hold the barrier.

I just barely saw the second blue spear-thing coming down from the wall in enough time to grab the sword from that leg and block it. I managed to deflect it, but the slight lapse in concentration on my barrier jutsu meant that the tornado broke through.

I didn't have the time to make another barrier or dodge, only brace myself for impact. It scooped me up and then after a few nauseating seconds of being spun and tossed around at insane speeds I was flung out of the spiraling windstorm and hit the wall at enormous speed with a crack that reverberated through my skull. My vision immediately went fuzzy at the edges, and despite my best efforts I blacked out to the site of that tornado picking up Matsuri and carrying her up the wall to the waiting ninja.

 **End Chapter 22**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Yay! A cliffy! Bet you guys just love me.


	23. Chapter 23

The next thing I knew I woke to the sound of Gaara's voice. "Ren. Ren! Wake up Ren!"

I groaned and squinted my eyes, the pounding in my skull so bad that it made my vision wobble a little with each **'THUMP.'**

"Wha'? Wha' happened?" I mumbled. It took me a few second to remember why I was lying on the hot, hard packed dirt of the training arena. Once I did, I shot up, leaping to my feet with the exclamation, "MATSURI!"

This proved to be a very bad idea on my part as the world tilted and I felt the sudden strange sensation of sea sickness on land. My throat made an odd choking sound without my consent and it was suddenly difficult to tell whether I was falling or not. It certainly felt like the world was tilting.

I must have actually started to fall over because there was a sudden jolt as I came into contact with a chest and a pair of arms wrapped around me. I dizzily heard Kankuro exclaim, "Woah! Nice catch there Gaara." And Temari say worriedly, "Is she okay?" and then "Oh my god! Look at the side of her head! It's all bloody!"

I ignored them, much too busy trying to make the world stop swaying in my head and also keep my lunch down at the same time. The arms that were wrapped around my upper back tightened as they easily accepted my full weight. One of my hands latched onto something, and I gripped it tightly with my fist to ground myself. My head hurt with a blinding pain and I let it fall forward, my forehead quickly coming into contact with something warm and solid.

I vaguely heard Temari say, "Here give this to her, it's a pill to help with head concussions, it'll bring down any swelling in her brain."

The world shifted again as the body that was currently supporting me slowly lowered, bringing me with it. In some distant part of my brain, which was currently out of order, I knew that Gaara was the one holding me at the moment. But the knowledge was lost amongst the pain and nausea.

Looking back on it later, I realized that he must have grabbed me as I collapsed and then slowly lowered the both of us to our knees. But all I knew at the moment was that the ground was already swaying, so why was it now rising? It increased my disorientation somewhat and I groaned, clinching my fist harder. Once my weight was on my knees my legs started to fold, my thighs too wobbly to support my weight. One of the arms wrapped around me lowered a bit, catching me at my lower back and holding me up. My upper body would have flopped over too, but I was still held tightly by the other arm, and I leaned against the warm presence supporting me.

I felt the arms around me shift, one arm pulling me tighter and slightly to the side. My body was turned slightly so that my weight shifted to my shoulder and hip and my face turned sideways, my cheek coming to rest on what I vaguely realized was Gaara's chest, based on the heartbeat that my ear was now pressed against. I felt him shifting again and then a palm cupped my chin, tilting my face up. Since my ear was pressed to his chest I heard his voice more from there than from his mouth, so it was much deeper and a little muffled.

"Open your mouth." He ordered, pressing his thumb and forefinger that were holding the pill against my lips for emphasis. I was already panting through my mouth, so opening it wider was easy enough and his fingers pushed between my teeth, depositing the little, bitter tasting tablet in the back of my throat before withdrawing quickly. I gagged and his palm quickly pressed my jaw closed, his thumb stroking down my throat, pressing deep to activate my muscles. "Swallow" he said firmly.

I choked, trying to do as he requested, but the pill stuck in my throat. "Here she can have some of my water." I heard Kankuro say, and Gaara's hand left my throat.

I felt the hole of a canteen press against my lips, followed by another demand from Gaara, "Drink."

If I was any other position I would have had a problem with his bossiness, and probably would have fussed at him for it. Possibly smacked him upside the head. As it was, I was grateful for his help, so I opened my mouth and drank the water, some of it escaping my lips to trickle down my cheeks or over my chin. It helped immensely and the pill finished its journey to my stomach without any more speedbumps.

Gaara took the canteen away, and I gasped in a breath, coughing as I inhaled a little left over water. He continued to silently hold me, his other arm wrapping back around me to steady me further. The medicine slowly took effect and my head began to throb less and less, the ground solidifying under me once again. After a few minutes I was able to open my eyes blearily and squint up at Gaara, who was gazing down at me patiently but with a tenseness around his eyes that betrayed his concern as he waited for me to recover.

I was immediately embarrassed by the position I found myself in, as well as secretly delighted. I smacked down that strange emotion right away, uncomfortable with the joy I was feeling at finding myself in my current predicament. Gaara was cradling me in his arms, my cheek pressed up against his chest, my hand holding tightly to the white sash coming over his shoulder.

To cover up my confusing mess of feelings I grumbled, "You sure are bossy."

Kankuro barked a laugh, slapping his thigh, "Well, I guess you're feeling better if you're already sassing Gaara."

Temari just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Gaara's lips quirked, his eyes losing their edge, and he made his typical "hmph" sound.

I slowly sat up and waited to see if things started spinning again. Thankfully whatever Temari had given me was working, because I felt fine. Suddenly I gasped, remembering what had put me in this situation to begin with.

"Matsuri's been kidnapped!" I said abruptly, and everyone's faces tensed, looking from one to another in concern.

"We just ran into an injured watchman. He said that he had been attacked, and that his attackers were after Gaara. They had told him that they would take one person precious to Gaara every day, until he had no-on left."

"What do they want with him?" I gasped, immediately furious and terrified.

"We don't know." Gaara himself responded, standing gracefully and brushing his burgundy pants off, shaking out his white sash. I clambered to my feet much less gracefully, my head giving one pathetic thump, before finally feeling normal.

"Wait, wait! Hold up, before we go anywhere, let me take a look at that head wound. If you have a cracked skull or something you need to go to the hospital." Temari barked, grabbing my shirt and yanking me closer for inspection.

I groaned, but let her do it, knowing that it probably was pretty important. She carefully prodded around the bloody area with her fingers and then grabbed a scrap of bandage from one of her kits and wetted it with her canteen, wiping away all the excess blood to see what was going on. After a while she breathed a sigh of relief. "You should be just fine. It looks like you have a cut here, but there isn't anything deeper and your skull is just fine."

"Great, then let's get going." I immediately responded.

The two of us ran over to Gaara, who had found Matsuri's javelin where it was left in the dirt. He observed the direction it was pointing, commenting that they must be headed Northeast.

Temari pointed out that Matsuri meant nothing to the Four Celestials, that they only wanted Gaara, leaving us all feeling cold. We all knew that that most likely meant that they would kill her by the end of the day, and would target someone new tomorrow, to prove that they were serious. We had to rescue her before that happened.

"We must notify the Jonin Council," Kankuro announced and we nodded, acknowledging that it had to be done, so we all ran there next.

We told Baki and he addressed the council. "They have identified themselves as the four celestials. And they've headed to the northeast to a small strip of land between the land of rivers and the land of fire. It's near the Leaf Village so I've asked for their assistance in this. Temari, Kankuro, Gaara, and Ren you're to leave immediately and track these criminals down."

As Gaara turned to leave, Kankuro jumped in with a protest. "That doesn't make sense! They've already told us that they're after Gaara. If he comes with us it would be like walking right into their trap."

Even Temari agreed, "He's right. It makes more sense to send another unit."

I just sighed, knowing that Gaara would never go for that. But I did agree. I hated the thought of Gaara putting himself in harm's way like this by walking right into a trap.

I watched as Baki glanced towards the council, and I sensed some animosity there. Perhaps Baki agreed with us, but maybe the council was trying to get rid of Gaara again. I felt rage bubbling in my stomach at the thought.

"This might just be a diversionary tactic. If we sent an entire unit the village would be vulnerable." Baki countered, but it sounded like a weak excuse.

Kankuro seemed to agree, "In that case then, why don't you come along with us! Well?!" he pointed accusatorily at Baki. After a long pause he asked again. "Are you coming? Well?"

"Sorry but there's another mission that requires my attention. Go! After all the captive is your student." He responded defensively, setting off all my alarm bells. That was a cheap shot, not Baki's usual style at all. There was just something not right about this. Kankuro growled at him, but Gaara just walked out, and Temari said for us to come on and get moving.

And so we all left, running after Matsuri.

After a good several hours of running, we were abruptly stopped in our tracks by a huge gust of wind, so powerful it forced us to hang onto our branch for fear of being blown right off. That damn woman from before was standing there, smirking at us.

Temari grinned, "A wind user, just my thing!" She whipped out her fan and sent a gust of wind right back, the poor trees caught in the crossfire of winds were ripped to shreds.

"Excellent." Gaara complemented.

"Nice one Temari!" Kankuro whooped.

"Well what did you expect?" Temari boasted.

I huffed and crossed my arms, "I'm a wind user too ya know, why do you get this one?" I inquired crossly.

Temari just smirked. "Because I called dibs first." She smugly replied. I just sighed and conceded defeat.

"Not bad!" Came the voice of the woman before, and I tensed, growling. "Not everyone can blow away my tempest wind," she continued boastfully "and look at you, you're just a kid." She sneered.

"You three go on ahead," Temari announced and I chuckled, knowing that she was pissed and wanted to get this windy lady back for that kid comment.

"You good taking her on alone?" Kankuro asked worriedly, while Gaara asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we're two peas in a pod. She and I are gonna swap wind jutsu techniques." Temari responded snidely, ready to take her on. I shrugged, knowing that Temari was too stubborn to argue with on a good day, and she was pissed now. She cinched it by saying, "Get moving Gaara. Save your student."

 _Ouch. That was below the belt Temari, well played._

Gaara's eyes widened and his lips parted on a quiet inhale, shocked. Then he closed his eyes and said, "You're right. Thank you."

We all left to pursue the kidnappers, Kankuro calling out for Temari to be careful. We were gaining on them when we were suddenly delayed again. That darn blue thing was streaking up towards us.

"What the heck?" Kankuro hissed.

"My sentiments exactly." I muttered, frustrated by the delay.

We dodged its twists and turns to come to crouch on the forest floor, only for some little pompous brat to come out of the bushes wielding a blue sword. He struck a pose and said, "What do ya think? Bet you've never seen a sword like this one."

I scoffed, amused by his flouncy attitude.

Kankuro huffed, "Heh, he's just a kid!"

I sighed, "You know that's what that woman said to Temari right?" I muttered to him and he blinked, surprised.

He wasn't really even listening to me though as he stared at that sword and the boy wielding it, then he laughed, "Hah what are you planning on doing with that kids toy?" he scoffed. "I hope you got something better than that up your sleeve. Cause I'm warning you little man, when it comes to puppets you're playing with the master." Then he turned to us, "You go on ahead."

"We can leave him to you?" Gaara asked.

I scoffed, "You sure about this big boy? It seems like you may be really overestimating this kid."

Kankuro huffed, "Yeah, don't worry about it. I got this, it's not worth your trouble. I'll catch up with ya'."

"Okay, if you're sure." I muttered running off to join Gaara. I had a nasty suspicion that Kankuro might end up in trouble with that guy, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

We continued chasing them and again after a while were rudely interrupted, this time by a big, square, metal mace crashing through the tree branches. A big man with long hair, a beard, and some very strange looking armor stopped us. "This is as far as you go Gaara. Unless you go through me."

I knew immediately that they must want Gaara here for a special reason, that there was something about this location that was part of the trap. After all, none of the others had tried to stop Gaara specifically.

"Very well. Ren, you save Matsuri." Gaara said deeply, his eyes fixed on his opponent.

I looked at him and the sand streaming out of his gourd. I sidled up close to him, stepping into his sand circle easily without fear, even when it swirled around my ankles. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, confused by my actions when he had told me to go save his student.

Once I was close enough that I could talk to him quietly without big boy over there overhearing me I whispered, "There's something off. There has to be a reason why they want you to be stopped here specifically. None of the other ones challenged you, they were simply separating you from the group. And don't forget, you are their target, not Matsuri. They won't kill her until they have you, or unless you stop following them. So I don't think she's in critical danger at the moment."

He regarded me for a moment sideways, before turning his eyes back to the mace wielding menace in front of us. "Sound reasoning. I agree. Stay, and once he's been defeated we'll pursue the last of the four celestials together."

I nodded and took my stance, still inside his ring of sand. Gaara's sand floated up and circled us in a thin band. The big guy tossed his mace at Gaara, but he easily blocked it with a strip of the sand.

"Good job Gaara of the Desert. Just how much of your chakra is that sand infused with?"

"You really wanna know? Very well, but it's gonna cost you your life." Gaara drawled, his voice dropping to a menacing growl by the end. I blinked, still sometimes a little thrown by his dark sense of humor.

Suddenly torrents of Gaara's sand sprung from the ground beneath our opponent and twined their way around him to encapsulate his entire body, before Gaara squeezed his fist and yelled, "Sand Coffin!"

After a moment, the sand seemed to lose some of its pep and then amazingly started to slip off of the guy. He burst forth and Gaara's eyes opened wide as he exclaimed in shock, "It can't be!"

"Thank you that was quite refreshing." The big guy said smugly.

"But how? How could you break out?" Gaara asked, bemused and disturbed.

"It's my armor, it absorbs chakra. It feeds on it." And yes, the eyes of the lion head on the breast plate were glowing red, how weird. He chuckled and started building up momentum on that mace again, "Without all of that chakra in it, your sand is pretty much useless kid. You could throw it in my eyes I guess." He grunted and threw the mace again.

Gaara's sand grabbed the chain and stopped his mace from hitting us.

I laughed. Oh, that was one of the stupidest things I think I have heard an opponent say before. "Wow, you're pretty dense aren't you dumbass? Are you all muscle and no brain?" I taunted, earning a glare from the muscly fellow.

He grunted and turned back to Gaara, mostly ignoring me, which pissed me off. "Useless," the guy said, and I could see blue stings of Gaara's chakra floating towards the lion's head. "I can feel it, all that chakra flowing into me."

Sand sprung up in a tall stream behind Gaara from his gourd as he stood glaring, giving no response.

"What?! You mean that whole gourd is full of sand?!" our opponent exclaimed in shock.

 _Well duh … of course. Hasn't this guy done his homework? I mean jeez, basic ninja training 101, know your enemy._ I scoffed. "Once again, I ask, are you stupid?" I said, my tone suggesting that I really did think he was incredibly stupid, which I did.

And then the sand hit the ground at Gaara's feet and he started rising, a pillar of sand forming beneath him and growing taller by the second. I yelped and rolled out of the way, giving Gaara a little room. He was doing his thing and totally had this battle under control, so I'd just stand back and let him deal with bozo. A stream of his sand still clenched the chain of the mace tightly, eventually dragging the guy up by his weapon and leaving him dangling feet above the ground.

I laughed, amused by the predicament the guy now found himself in. Well that's what he got for gloating prematurely.

After Gaara had reached an impressive height, he reached out and clenched his hand, grunting as he then twirled his hand around, sort of like when he was showing Matsuri how to use the rope javelin. The stream of sand the guy was dangling from followed, just like a long rope, and soon big boy was zipping through the air in a circle around Gaara's head, screaming like a little girl. Gaara just crossed his arms and observed his opponents distress with an impassive face.

After a few minutes of playing spin the monkey with the big oaf, Gaara once again raised his hand, clenched his fist and then opened his hand, the sand releasing the mace, sending the guy flying through the air, with a loud "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Gaara stayed up on his very tall podium, glaring in the direction his opponent had fallen. Meanwhile, down below I was beginning to feel very uneasy, figuring that they were preparing to spring their trap. I sent out a network of fine chakra threaded wind, searching for anything amiss. It seemed as if everything was copasetic for a while, but then suddenly I sensed a huge band of chakra close in on us from all sides, forming a triangle with Gaara at the center.

"Oh Shit. Gaara!" I yelled, he glanced down at me, "They just set up some sort of trap, and you're dead center. Brace yourself!"

"I know. I sense it too." He rumbled back down and I nodded, unsurprised. His sensory powers were on par with my own, although I don't think he could pick up sounds like I could, but chakra certainly.

A deep rumbling began beneath the ground, increasing my dread tenfold. Something really bad was about to happen, I just knew it.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hahaha. Well, it's not quite as bad a cliffy as the last one, since you all know what's going to happen. But still... ;-)

I'll post soon, no worries.

BTW, I hope you all enjoyed Gaara giving Ren a pill like he was giving it to a cat, just shoving it down her throat like that. *chuckles* He's so awkward and pushy.


	24. Chapter 24

Suddenly three lines of glowing chakra hit the base of the sand pillar and Gaara gasped, his eyes going wide as he took in the danger. An immense water dragon rose in a great spiral around his pillar of sand, growing all the way to where Gaara was standing.

"Fuck!" I yelped and immediately leapt into the trees so that I could jump to where Gaara was. I arrived in the tree tops just as the dragon reached the top of the sand pillar and watched in horror, unable to do anything to prevent it from attacking.

The dragon hit him with a huge amount of force, dampening his sand and making it too heavy for him to manipulate. He was knocked clear off the pillar and I leapt to catch him. I was close enough to him that I could hear him cursing as he flew through the air.

"Damn it all," He spat out in a particularly gravelly tone, his voice tense. He so rarely cussed that I was a little shocked.

I caught him, one of my arms hooking around his waist, and we both went down, his wet sand unbelievably heavy. I was barely able to call forth a gust of wind in time to cushion the blow of the fall, and even so it was a pretty rough impact. We landed with a loud wet _'curshplat'_ in a big pile of soggy sand. Gaara's gourd had turned into sand at the last minute, which also helped to cushion the landing some, but it was still pretty hard and certainly very sandy. I could feel the grains of sand abrading my skin as it came into harsh contact, giving me one hell of an exfoliation.

The sand didn't bother me so much, but the distinct pop and searing pain in my shoulder definitely wasn't fun. "Holy shit." I groaned, grabbing my shoulder with my hand and cradling that elbow with my other arm.

The giant wet sand tower slowly keeled over, thankfully away from us, and landed with a resounding boom, sending a few small trees flying. I flinched, watching with wide eyes from my position flat on my back next to Gaara in the smushed, damp sand pile.

And then my senses went on red alert as I saw that Mister Spin A-lot from before was now approaching. I was surprised he could still walk in a straight line after that ride Gaara had given him.

"Heh, landed on a pile of sand eh? You would do that. And you have your little bitch with you, how sweet." He said, all big and confidant and bruised. _Dumbass._

I growled and stood, assuming a battle stance in front of Gaara, knowing that he couldn't fight with his sand wet. That didn't mean that he didn't try though. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw some sand rise, break and then fall to the ground.

"Just leave this to me Gaara." I tore off a strip of cloth from my skirt and fashioned a tight sling to hold my hurt arm in place.

"No! You're hurt!" He growled and tried to stand, but winced and tilted, falling back onto one knee, his leg obviously hurt pretty badly.

"You're hurt as well, and you can't fight with your sand wet. I'll be fine." I said confidently, and summoned my chakra wind to my unhurt hand, calling forth my Wind Blade Jutsu, using more chakra than ever before to summon a longer, sharper, more powerful blade to compensate for only having the one. The sharpened air descended with a hiss and crack, and a low grade wind howl sounded from the blade. I had worked hard to prefect this jutsu over the last few months, and now I would use it to protect my best friend. The sharpened wind went from my elbow down past my flat palm and fingers to extend into the air beyond that.

I would test this on him first, but assumed that that damn lion head would just suck up all my chakra. I lunged, swinging my wrist up behind me and out to the side before snapping it forward, making a large arch with my arm and torso as I sent the blade spiraling off my forearm and hurled it towards him at high velocity, the sharpened band of wind cutting through the air with a screech.

Sure enough it was just swallowed up by that lion head in his chest plate.

I growled and softened the air, reaching down to unsheathe the short sword at my thigh before sharpening the air around the blade in my hand now. This was a stronger jutsu than my Wind Blade Jutsu, this was my Wind Sword Jutsu. Since I held my sword, the wind extended further and I could sharpen it even more by bending it back and forth over the smooth sharp metal of the sword. This jutsu I hadn't perfected yet, but it was already more powerful than my previous jutsu.

"Wind Sword Jutsu!" I hissed, pushing the air faster and harder against the metal of my sword until it began to hum in my hand, the violently sharpened air surrounding it making it vibrate. "Now taste your own blood bastard!" I screamed, supremely pissed off by the earlier attack that had scrambled my brains, the kidnapping of Matsuri my best friend's student and a girl I was already rather fond of myself, and the attempt to capture Gaara, injuring him in the process. All of that put together, and I was seeing red.

I ran at the guy, using Telaria Jutsu at high speed, noting his shocked expression before making contact. He brought his mace up just in time, trying to pummel me, but it was no match for my sword. I flicked my wrist out so the sharpened side was facing the right way and then planted my feet, skidding sideways and kicking up a good amount of dirt as I swung my sword, torqueing my whole torso to get the most power. The sharpened air wrapping the blade made it a hundred times sharper and more powerful than a regular sword, and it sliced through the big hunk of metal with the ease of cutting warm butter, the loud high pitched metallic scream as it was split the only indication of how solid it really was.

One half fell off, and as soon as I was through the whole mace I quickly twisted the sword, making sure to cut the chain too. Even as I demolished his weapon I could feel that damn armor of his sucking up my chakra from a distance.

I leaped back, breathing heavily. Suddenly a green blur shot from the trees to collide with the big guy. "The heroes always arrive at the last second!" Lee bellowed, doing a flip through the air and landing between me and the enemy. I let the tip of my sword dip to the ground in bemusement. _Well, this is a surprise. But then again…Hadn't Baki said something about asking the Leaf for help?_ I mused.

"Hell yeah!" Came Naruto's yell as he jumped out of a tree to bean the guy with a kick in the head. _Ouch, that had to hurt_ , I grinned appreciatively.

The big lug wasn't done, he whipped the chain around through the air, nothing attached to it, but it would still hurt like hell if it hit you. He was a big guy and strong, and still had that damn armor, so even without the metal box on the end of his mace he was a formidable opponent.

"Watch out for his armor guys, it sucks up your chakra." I warned. And they both nodded, commenting to each other about how to proceed given the new information. They decided to simply attack him anyways, beat him up before he could steal all their chakra. I shrugged, leaving it to them.

While Naruto and Lee took care of the enemy, I turned to Gaara. He was this weird shade of grayish brown, his sand shield having gotten wet and caked onto him. I blinked, a little unsure what to make of his new look. He just looked so strange, I chuckled and then frowned, squinted and cocked my head to the side, snorting when his eyes turned to me and his sand eyelids crinkled and popped off. "Wow, you look … uh … a little odd Gaara."

He scowled at me and then tried to get up again, tilting a little and staggering a step. My humor immediately vanished, "Woah, hey, you really are hurt." I quickly ducked under one of his arms to lend him support, and he grudgingly accepted, but I could feel in the tenseness in his body that he wasn't happy about it. I assumed it was because he didn't want to appear weak, and not because he didn't want me to touch him. I mean he had already proven that it didn't bother him earlier when he held me after getting my head knocked silly _… right?_

I couldn't help but be a little insecure, suddenly worried that maybe I had imposed on him earlier, and he had actually been very unhappy about all those things he had done for me, but I forced those thoughts from my mind, focusing on the task at hand.

I helped him ease back to the ground, where he sat, holding his head. Sakura ran up and told Lee, who had come over to help when he had seen Gaara was hurt, to go assist Naruto with the opponent. I was still surprised that the big guy was even standing after the pounding he had taken from Gaara only a few minutes ago. He must have some seriously good armor.

Naruto and Lee proceeded to continue to bash on him with punches and kicks, and Sakura turned to Gaara to heal him. She channeled green medical chakra into Gaara to help him recover from a contusion in his leg that must have happened when we hit the ground. After she had healed the contusion she said, "Here, let me replenish some of your chakra, you're running dangerously low."

"No. Heal Ren first. She's injured." I blinked, touched by his looking out for me.

Sakura blinked and then nodded turning to me. I took off the sling, hissing when my arm shifted and sent pain from my shoulder down to my fingers. Sakura took a look at it and then said, "Your shoulder has been dislocated. I'm going to have to pop it back into the socket."

I nodded bracing myself. She had me lie down and then grabbed my arm and quickly pushed my shoulder down hard. I yelped, but it was muffled by my other hand covering my mouth and nose. I had predicted the pain and didn't want to make a scene. It still made a kind of weird muffled, squeaky, choky sort of sound.

I didn't see Gaara flinch at the sound, because I was a little busy with breathing deeply and not passing out.

And then Lee got whooped upside the head, and Naruto hurried over to him with an exclamation of "Bushybrow!"

And the buffoon came our way, "Aw … so sad, did your little girlfriend there get hurt?"

Sakura had popped my shoulder in place but all the little muscles and tendons still had to be healed before I could move it again. I growled at the guy and started to get up but Sakura stopped me. I winced when my shoulder was jostled.

"Hold still, or your shoulder will be injured even further!" she scolded, and I groaned as she forced some healing chakra into my shoulder with a little more force than necessary and my muscles and tendons protested.

The big guy guffawed and took a few more steps in our direction. "Maybe I should take out your girlfriend first eh? Put her out of her misery?"

Gaara immediately got in between the buffoon and us, crossing his arms in his battle stance. "You will not touch her."

My stomach tensed, fluttering in a strange way at Gaara's bossy personality, which normally pissed me off a little. But when he was being all protective, it was actually kind of nice.

"What are you gonna do? All your sand is gone."

Gaara remained silent, but drew a hand out and a crack appeared across his face, a thin spiral of sand coming from his armor, freeing his mouth and chin. The sand formed a thin sharp spear.

"This is all the sand I need!"

He threw the spear with deadly accuracy and it pierced the supposedly impenetrable armor and went clear through to the other side, the spray of blood telling us that it had gotten the big guy as well. He collapsed.

Gaara stood, panting for a few seconds and then groaned, falling to his knees. Sakura finished with me quickly and ran back to Gaara to help him, but paused when a swarm of black bugs made some kanji through the sky and Sakura exclaimed, "Ino's been hurt?!"

Gaara said quickly, "Go!"

"Yeah but in your condition …"

"I'll be perfectly fine. Now get going, she needs you."

Sakura nodded and said, "Try not to overdo it."

"Got it." He replied, and then she ran off. Gaara turned back to his opponent, "Now to end it..." but paused when we heard Matsuri scream.

Naruto rushed forward and said to us, "Go on! Help her! We've got this guy!" Gaara nodded and we rushed off to find Matsuri, darting through the trees and chasing the blur of the kidnapper.

 **End Chapter 24**

 **Author's Note:**

Woohoo! This story just reached 100 reviews! I can't believe it, you guys are so amazing, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story so far, it really has kept me posting.

I'm working on getting the cover image colored nicely, but it might take a while, so just bear with me. :3


	25. Chapter 25

We ran after the kidnapper, chasing him through the forest. After a little while, Gaara and I found ourselves in a rather steep canyon, facing off with the leader of the kidnapping group. He had Matsuri strapped to his back, completely immobilized in what looked almost like some sort of coffin thing.

"We have you now ass-hat! Hand over Matsuri! Unless, you really like pain, in which case, we are happy to oblige!" I snarled, thoroughly pissed off with the douchebag and brandishing both swords threateningly, now that my arm had healed.

He just laughed and tossed her off his back and to the ground dismissively. _What a…stupid fucking…I'm gonna…!_ I was so pissed off I couldn't even think clearly. We both tensed and I heard a low growl coming from Gaara, the kind that sounded more animal than human, which let me know he was just as mad as me.

"You might want to reassess that! The only one trapped here is you!" the kidnapper laughed.

"What?" Gaara growled, darkly aggressive.

Yikes, I hadn't heard that tone in his voice in a while, the one that meant he was ready to dish out death and mayhem.

"Gaara, you may be called the ultimate weapon, but if I'm correct you've used all your chakra in that earlier fight." Mister Dumbass said cockily. I had to give him points for being able to singlehandedly piss Gaara off more than anyone else since Naruto. And Naruto was pretty hard to beat in the frickin' annoying category. I mean I liked the weird yellow knucklehead, but…yeah.

"Think what you want, but I'm still ready to take you on. Sand or no sand." Gaara snarled.

I was impressed, Gaara showed absolutely no hesitation, only confidence and bad ass attitude, even though I knew what the guy had said was mostly correct. Gaara was running dangerously low on chakra. I could sense it with my wind, the spicy feel of it much too dim.

The guy laughed and called forth all the other weapons, the armor, the blue sword, and the sword that that wind chick had used. _Oh crap, this can't be good. The shit's about to hit the fan. I should have brought a raincoat._ I thought, crouching and getting ready for his attack.

"A ninja without his weapon is no match for the weapons made by the village of artisans!" he boasted loudly and sent a huge tornado spinning at us. He sure did like to talk about the village of artisans. I already got the feeling that this was going to be one of those battles where your enemy pontificated a lot.

Gaara quickly used his sand teleportation jutsu and I leapt to the side, using my Telaria Jutsu. The tornado spun by us without any damage being done. But it was a close call.

"Holy fuck, this guy's no joke." I gasped, kind of worried now. That tornado would have been bad-news-bears if it had hit us, I could feel the power of it as it went by.

"Dragon Eye Fang Release Dark Sword!" the guy shouted. The three blue swords were sticking out of his butt like some kind of weird three headed dragon tail thing and they all came at us at once. _Not this again…_

"Oh shit!" I yelped, diving to the ground in a roll. Gaara dodged too, but was just a tad too slow and managed to sustain a cut on his shoulder. I glanced at him, worried and anxious. "Gaara! Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." He grimaced, holding his now bloody shoulder.

I hissed, very concerned and turned back to our opponent, giving him the evil eye for hurting Gaara. _Oh you're gonna pay now motherfucker…_ There was just something about this guy that brought out my bad attitude.

"Well, well, it looks like you're all out of chakra. I'm told you have a monster inside of you, is that right? Well, it's about time for you to release that Shukaku of yours." The blue tailed dumbass taunted.

I growled and got back to my feet, "You're an even bigger idiot than I thought! Why would you want him to release Shukaku? If he did, you'd be dead meat!" I yelled.

He ignored me and proceeded to send his three blue swords jabbing at Gaara over and over, forcing him to dodge. He seemed hell bent on skewering Gaara like a shish kabob. Why did he want to provoke him so much? Was he really trying to get Shukaku out and about? Because if so, he was worse than an idiot, he was absolutely, completely nucking futs, too crazy to even be properly fucking nuts.

"Damn it." I barked as the swords jabbed at Gaara, and I ran over, joining the fray and doing everything I could to block the blue swords with my own. But I still missed some that Gaara had to dodge. We worked pretty well together, but it was tedious and involved a whole lot of acrobatics and quick moves.

One sword came from above. I blocked with my sword, then swung my other sword out to the side and down, slamming the second one trying to snake around my side into the dirt. The third went over my head and I sent a curved arch of wind to knock it off course, but the first one took the opportunity to get past. "To the left!" I bellowed and heard Gaara acting accordingly. Then the second one tried to go through me, which I thwarted with crossed swords, but that left the third to go around. "On the right!" When one went for my feet I simply used Kazegame Jutsu on my feet and stomped at just the right moment to smack it down to the ground. But another one got over me. "Above!"

He grunted, doing his best to dodge the ones that I missed, but he was injured and exhausted, so dodging was a little difficult for him at the moment, resulting in him getting even more banged up and me learning all new ways to combine various colorful language as I beat off the dumbass that was trying to skewer my best friend.

Meanwhile, thankfully Naruto ran up and released Matsuri, telling her to get somewhere safe. I would have helped her out if I could have, but my hands were a little full at the moment. I was relieved to see her scrambling for cover out of the corner of my eye.

This guy was getting even more aggressive and it was becoming more and more difficult for me to ward off the swords, since he was now aiming past me entirely and for Gaara. And Gaara wasn't exactly the kind of person who would just cower behind me. I had to try and stay as close to him as possible, while still giving us both enough room to maneuver without colliding into each other. Meaning that I had to run one way to ward off one sword, skid across the ground behind Gaara to get the one coming up on the left, dodge and roll to get another while Gaara leapt over the one coming from the other side, use a gust of wind to help me flip over Gaara to get the one snaking up from behind, bounce off of Gaara accidently, sending us both rolling and scrambling for cover, run up the canyon wall to get the one coming down from above, jump off and block one over Gaara who dodged and rolled out of the way, use the one in the air to change direction and send a gust of wind to block both coming from the front, get smacked across the front by the next one and back into Gaara slamming us both into the wall, break apart and dive to either side to avoid all three, and on and on and on.

We were really struggling, both of us getting pretty beat up when Naruto zipped in, all hyper and angry, "Hey! Back Off!"

Gaara and I slid down the rock wall and knelt on the ground, catching our breath while Naruto distracted him. I hissed and picked at a few particles of the canyon that had broken off into random parts of my body.

"How are you holding up? Is your shoulder okay?" I muttered under my breath to Gaara who was sitting next to me and also removing random shards of rock from his skin.

"It hurts. But I can handle it." He muttered back. I nodded, touched that he had at least been honest about it hurting. If he had said it was fine again I would have smacked him myself for being a liar.

Meanwhile, Naruto was doing a great job of distracting blue-tail bozo. "I'll tell ya who I am! From here on out I'm the guy your fighting with!" he said boastfully.

The boasting didn't last too long though. Blue-tails sent a roaring wind at Naruto that promptly tossed him onto his orange ass. _What was it with Leaf shinobi that made them wear such garish, bright colors anyway?_

And then we had to listen to this long spiel about the Village of Artisans and how they made fantastic weapons and were always taken advantage of. _Sad, so sad, and yet that doesn't give you the right to be a fucking insane psychopath. Get off your high horse._ I grumbled to myself.

"Damn. That guy has a soap box a mile tall." I muttered to Gaara who nodded in agreement. This guy needed to just shut up and get his ass kicked already.

He sent his three blue-tail-sword-things jabbing at our yellow headed friend, who flipped out of the way safely. The obsessed nut swung his sword and a trail of fire blazed to life, chasing poor Naruto, and then sent him slamming into the wall, back first and upside down. He flopped onto the ground, landed on his head, folded limply at the waste, and his legs fell on top of him. The three blue swords went jabbing at him again before he could dodge or block.

"Oh no!" I gasped, seeing certain death for our blond friend. "Shit!" I yelped, making the signs for an air barrier jutsu, even though I knew it wouldn't make it in time. I had to do something! The sharp tips crashed down, faster than I could get my barrier up and I yelled, expecting a splash of blood to mark the passing of someone who I now considered to be a friend. He had helped Gaara so much, how could I not hold him in a special place in my heart? Anyone who was a friend of Gaara's was a friend of mine. Generally speaking.

I collapsed onto my knees, gasping in relief when the deadly metal clashed against a sand dome instead of sinking into soft flesh. "Oh thank God. Gaara!? You okay?"

I knew he had no more chakra left, but the tiny bit he did have, he spent saving Naruto. Even through the relief I experienced a sharp pang of concern for the red head. I could see the sweat dripping down the sides of his face, darkening his hair and sticking it to his skin as he gritted his teeth, holding that sand there through sheer force of will.

He nodded in response to my question and I nodded back, having to trust that he knew his limits. While Gaara was busy protecting Naruto with a sand shield, I leapt to my feet, wanting to draw the enemy away from him. The blue dragon heads were still chomping at the sand dome and I didn't know how long Gaara was going to last. I darted up the canyon wall behind us and ran around behind the guy as he turned to look at Gaara in amazement.

"What?" he looked over, seeing Gaara. "But how?" He was facing Gaara now, which was perfect for me.

"That sand dome is packed hard with minerals from the ground." Gaara growled, "Your pathetic attacks are far too weak to break it. I will defend him! If it takes everything I've got!" Gaara did a good job of distracting him while I summoned forth a wind blade to my arm.

"Don't make me laugh. You? The so-called ultimate weapon would risk your very existence protecting someone like this nuisance? You would use what little chakra you have left for the sake of a friend? Quite a choice! And it's one that will be your downfall!"

I ran down the wall, using the momentum to my advantage as I threw myself into the air, doing a full barrel roll as I tossed the wind blade off my arm, aiming it directly for his head. He was too busy talking to see it coming.

It hit at the same time he swung his sword at Gaara. Out of the ground erupted something that looked like some sort of strange metal spear, right in front of Gaara, who had to scramble back to avoid it. It quickly unfolded into a metal cage dome, surrounding Gaara on all sides.

That damn armor absorbed most of the damage from my wind blade, but even so the impact tossed him back several feet. He gasped as he flew through the air and when he landed with a thump he made an awful high pitched cough. After a moment he got up, laughing and wheezing, "You're too late! I've captured him! Now that I've captured him the plan is complete!" He ended on a coughing fit as his chest re-inflated.

I stared for a second in utter disbelief at what I was seeing, my mind unable to absorb it at first. _Gaara is now in a large metal cage. In a FUCKING CAGE! WHAAAAAT?!_ I screeched his name in shock and horror and ran over to him as soon as my brain caught up to speed. There were thick slabs of metal, leaving thin slots that he could look through.

I kept up a running litany of curses and concerned exclamations as I darted over to him, "Gaara! Are you okay? Crap, I can't believe he pulled this out of his ass. Don't worry, we'll get you out! Hold on!"

I skidded to a halt in front of the metal cage and slung my arms around one of the metal pieces. I braced my feet against the ground, using Telaria Jutsu to put some force into it as I pulled on the metal, using my body as a lever. I grunted, and then strained harder, the metal not budging an inch. Damn, this was pretty sturdy shit.

"Damn him!" Gaara cursed from inside the metal cage. The sand dome crumbled around Naruto.

He yelled "Gaara!" and came running over too. I looked over to him urgently, signaling to him with my eyes to keep the enemy busy and off Gaara for as long as possible while I tried to break him out. He nodded subtly, letting me know he was on it. I turned back to my metal nemesis, yanking and pulling and heaving with everything I had. It was too damn unbendable, but I was determined.

Meanwhile, our enemy laughed, "At last we will have your Shukaku chakra!"

"What did you say?" Naruto asked, getting his attention, which was perfect. _Good job Naruto, just keep him looking at you._ I thought, grunting. My fingers slipped from behind the metal band and I landed hard on my butt, squeaking when I tumbled over.

Gaara rushed over, "Are you okay?" he asked urgently, his voice hushed so as to not draw attention. I nodded, wincing as I got back to my feet. My fingernails were bloody from having slipped off the metal and breaking on the edge, but I ignored it. The pain was fine, I just worried that the blood would make things even more slippery and irritating.

I jumped back up and lunged for the metal again, Gaara staying close to where I was. This time I shoved my whole arm and shoulder into the gap, trying to use it as a wedge, I also got one foot in. I braced my hand on the backside of the metal and shoved, twisting my shoulders and trying to wedge it open, bracing myself with my feet again.

"Fuck this thing," I growled and summoned wind to my fist, slamming it into the backside of the metal. That time I heard a creak and grinned. Finally! Something!

Except the guy was turning back to us now. "It's what we've been after this whole time! Go ahead Gaara! Unleash the force of Shukaku, so that I can be infused with its chakra!" he yelled triumphantly, facing us.

Naruto yelled, "Gaara! Don't worry I'm coming!"

"That's great Naruto! Hurry up!" I yelled back, still wedged in the cage.

"Naruto!" Gaara yelled as well, leaning his face out the other hole and looking at our comrad.

And then bad shit happened. The opening closed where Gaara was looking out, right next to me. My eyes widened in panic. "Oh shit."

Gaara immediately had the same thought as me and his head whipped around to me, still wedged in tight and about to be a metal sandwich if every opening closed like that one. "Ren! Get out!" he shouted, lunging over to me.

I gritted my teeth, knowing good and well if this thing closed it would be bad news for Gaara. "No fucking way!" I growled, I slid my shoulder and arm out of the metal so I could bring my hands together in my wind barrier jutsu, wrapping it around my body and sliding back in place, all within a few seconds, bracing my shoulder against one side of the opening and my hands braced against the other, using my wind barrier to keep myself from being cut in a bad way.

The metal shutter creaked and groaned in my hands, trying it's best to slam shut and smoosh me. I braced myself harder. I hissed, feeling my bones make ominous pops and creaks. You know it's bad when you can hear and feel your bones do things that they shouldn't do. I could feel the metal bending my wind barrier, almost breaking through to the skin of my palms.

Nope, there was no way I could hold it for much longer, this thing was way too strong. I strained, knowing that there was no going back from this decision. I had made my choice, now it was time to either keep the darn thing open or die trying to protect my friend. I panted, struggling to keep it open, knowing that inevitably this would end very badly.

"Ren!" Gaara growled "You need to get out of there! You're going to be crushed!" He leaned right up close, his head right next to mine, invading my personal space to try and force me to pay attention to him.

"I can't! The pressure is enormous, if I release my hold for a second it will slam shut! There won't be enough time for me to get out." I panted, my body shuddering from the exertion. I slid my eyes to the side to meet his anxious gaze, "Besides…what will happen to you if it closes?"

His eyes softened for a moment and for one brief shining second it felt like there was some sort of intense communion in our eye contact. Then the pale green hardened, and a deep growl rumbled out of his chest as he glared at me intensely. Before I knew what happened, he body slammed me from the other side, shoving me out of the opening, which crashed shut behind me.

"Gaara!" I yelled, scrambling back to my feet and lunging against the closed metal cage, banging on it with my fists. But there was no use, I couldn't get to him inside of that big metal dome.

"Damn it!"

 **End Chapter 25**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Nothing much to say, except hi, hope you enjoyed the chapter. :3

Hahaha, a little bit of an intense cliffy. I'll be sure to post the next part up post haste so I don't get too much rotten fruit and veggies thrown at me. ;)


	26. Chapter 26

"This is fucking ridiculous!" I cussed and gave the metal cage a solid kick for good measure. I noticed that Gaara had tossed out the rope javelin at the last moment. _Well, that's great Gaara, but it's not going to do much good out here on the ground._ I sighed and picked it up, glancing around for Matsuri and locating her behind a rock some ways away from the battle. Good for her, I was glad that she was out of harm's way. I tossed her, her weapon and then turned my attention back to Gaara.

Meanwhile Naruto was yelling at the enemy. "Hey buddy! What's the meaning of all this! What are you up to?!"

"Don't worry, you'll see. Long ago the great founder of our village lord Seimei began creating the ultimate ninja tool."

 _Oh no…here we go again._ "This isn't a fucking history lesson you asshole! Let Gaara out right now or I will make you wish you were dead." I hissed loudly, pissed off beyond comprehension.

Similarly Naruto screamed, "You're doing all this for a weapon?!" He sounded incensed, and I completely agreed. This guy was going to be ripped to shreds between the two of us.

I hopped up onto the dome, taking a good look at the joining up top, seeing if it might be any weaker. It looked like, if there was going to be a point to try breaking through, it was here. I tried banging on it, right over the connecter to see if I could jar any screws loose, using some wind chakra to power up my punches.

When that failed, I groaned, slamming my fist down into the joiner. "Shit!" I banged on it. "Hey Gaara? You doing okay in there?"

I heard a muffled response from inside, but I could barely understand it. Leaving the asshole to Naruto to deal with for the time being, I summoned a little sensorial breeze and squeezed it through the tiny cracks in the cage, closing my eyes to more fully engage with my wind.

I was still perfecting my sensory jutsu, but I had gotten to the point where if I imbued a breeze with enough chakra and focused intensely, it could feel as if I was almost one with the wind, although it could be a little patchy at times. The inside of the cage felt very enclosed to my little breeze, and there was definitely a sense of metallic echo. I spun around the edges mapping out the inside really quickly and then spiraled inwards, finding Gaara right at the center. "There you are," I whispered, up on top, directing my little breeze to ruffle his soft hair, to let him know it was me.

I sensed his head come up as he looked around, feeling the little breeze. "Ren? Is that you?" I heard him whisper through my wind. He lifted up a hand and I directed the little air currant to spin around it a few times, so he'd know for sure I was there. I drifted over his face and felt him smile, just a little. "I'm okay." He whispered, guessing at my reason for sending in a sensory breeze.

I wished there was some way I could project my voice through the wind, maybe that was something I'd look into later.

"And now it will finally be completed!" I was distracted at the enemy's bellow and glanced over. He made some jutsu signs and the dome beneath me glowed blue, sending out a stream of chakra into the wall of the canyon. Of all things, it drew forth a coffin. Gaara yelled from inside the dome.

I yelped, abruptly surrounded by Gaara's chakra. My senses were on overload, the wind I had been using inside the dome suddenly overwhelmed by enormous amounts of Gaara's chakra. It was devastating, his chakra signature was already pretty intense and suddenly it filled all five of my senses. The spicy smell and taste was swiftly overpowering, making it feel like I had actually shoved spices up my nose and a whole handful in my mouth, and the sensation was suffocating me. I choked, wheezing, my eyes watered and then flooded, blurring my vision. I could literally hear the chakra crackling like fire around me, and the sound drowned out all other sounds. The heat from his chakra burned my skin.

Yet, despite all the unpleasantness, the choking and the burning, somehow the overwhelming sensation of GAARA that I was suddenly completely immersed in, almost as though I was swimming in him, it was intoxicating in the oddest way, making me dizzy on top of everything else. I toppled off the dome, landing hard on my back in the dirt, only just barely able to sever the sensory input from that wind.

It felt like I had whiplash when the sensations of Gaara's chakra vanished abruptly. I lay on the ground, stunned for a moment and unable to move. I watched, numb and confused as the coffin came floating out of the wall and landed at the foot of what's-his-name. It opened to reveal a shriveled up corpse, which really, was kind of what you'd expect in coffin.

An abrupt, intensely bright white light glowed and our enemy disappeared, simply vanished into thin air, his armor and weapons falling in a heap on the ground. Gaara yelled again inside the cage. I flinched, trying to get up but falling over again, only just able to keep myself on hands and knees instead of falling flat on the ground again. But that was all I could manage.

The white haired corpse revived and walked out of the casket, leaving me to stare in shock, appalled.

"Wha? That guy came back to life!" I heard Naruto yelp from the other side of the dome.

"Holy fuck…." I whispered, my eyes opened wide.

The revived corpse introduced himself, "I am called Seimei. Founder of the village of artisans. And now after a hundred years of slumber I have been awakened as my village's ultimate tool!"

 _Yeah, that's sort of what I figured, since the other guy had been rambling on and on about it._ This was definitely one of the strangest, most disturbing things I had ever seen.

He made a jutsu hand sign and the weapons and armor left behind began to glow. He turned and walked into the light. _This isn't good. What next?_

"It's so bright! What the heck is going on?" Naruto yelped, shielding his eyes. I did the same, burying my head in my arms.

I looked up when the glow disappeared, to see Seimei had the blue lion's head on his groin with a blue sword sticking out and was standing on a green glowing ball, the blue tails wiggling around behind him. I gaped for a moment and then snorted. _Holy shit, this guy is really fucking weird looking. It's difficult to take him seriously looking like that…_

"I have waited so long for this! Now the village of artisans will rule over all other shinobi lands!" he yelled triumphantly.

I rolled my eyes. _Oh yeah right. Sure, whatever you say bub, you're gonna die. Seriously. Die. Right now._

He proceeded to go on and on about all that shit all over again and I felt like informing him that we had already gotten the info from the previous dude. _Great, another soap box fan._ I groaned and rolled my eyes, so sick of these idiots and their 'great and noble plans.' _Bullshit._

"No way am I gonna let that happen." Naruto ran at the guy but got smacked down hard by the blue swords. _Ouch, that had to hurt_.

He hopped back up after a second and lunged again. While Naruto distracted bozo, who seriously looked like he had a boner with that stupid armor, I stood and attempted to help Gaara, trying to wedge some more wind than just my little breeze in the gaps between the slots of metal. I didn't have much luck. It turned out to be pretty dang solid.

Now that I was on this side, I noticed his sand eye on the ground. I knelt in front of it and gently picked it up, which felt like a very strange thing to do. I didn't know if he could hear me or just see me, so I mimed and whispered at the same time. "I'm going to try and dig under with my wind," I made a dig motion with one hand to try and indicate.

His eye slowly lifted off my palm and hovered in front of me and I took that as a signal that he was on board with the plan. I knelt in front of the metal, opposite to where all the action was taking place, and pressed my palms flat against the ground, driving wind into the sandy soil.

I promptly hit resistance and realized that the metal had some sort of barrier jutsu extending down into the ground, likely locking up Gaara's chakra.

"Damnit, it's no use." I looked up to the hovering eye near my shoulder, really it was quite eerie, and shook my head. Looks like I would just have to bulldoze, I had wanted to avoid that.

Drawing chakra to my fist, I looked again at his eye and made a pushing potion, to try and mime that he should back away from me so that I wouldn't hurt him. I wrapped a huge amount of wind chakra around my fist and threw myself forward, hitting the metal with a resounding clang and actually managing to put a little dent in it this time.

I threw my other fist forward, the same chakra and wind force behind it, making another huge sound. Another little dent resulted, but it wasn't nearly enough. Cursing loudly, I pounded on the metal, growing more and more desperate, frantic to release Gaara. My emotions were starting to leak out of my control.

This situation was so fucked up, I hated seeing Gaara caged more than I wanted to admit, even to myself. The whole thing pissed me off to the point that I was seeing red and also terrified me beyond words. I think a few tears accidently slid out of my eyes without my permission, but hopefully his floating eye couldn't see them.

I continued to bash, weakening the metal enough that it started to creak and groan. Unfortunately the noise didn't go unnoticed, and the stupid white haired bastard appeared behind me. Before I could dodge he had sent me flying, spinning through the air, with one of those stupid blue-tail-things.

The damn thing was sharp as well as fast and I felt the flesh across my back split under the assault, skin sliced open and blood warming my suddenly, shockingly ripped skin. The scream that ripped out of my lungs felt like it burned my throat, cutting off abruptly as I hit the wall of the canyon with an impact that hurt nearly a badly as the tail had. My already burning back slammed into the rock hard enough that I felt my lungs collapsing from the impact, the hollow thud ringing through my body a second before the sound of my own skull * **CRACK** * against the rock behind me. That sound took over all my senses for a good several seconds. My vision went black, my ears deaf, and my body blissfully numb for less than a minute before the pain slowly filtered back through my fuzzy head. That had been a much harsher impact than the last time I had hit a rock wall with my head. That was a goose egg compared to this.

The ringing in my head prevented me from fully hearing the muffled roar that sounded oddly metallic, but I felt the vibration of it in the ground beneath me.

After a minute of trying to make the little birdies _stop fucking flying around my head for god's sake,_ I was interrupted by an awful scream. Though I had never heard that particular noise come from him, I knew that it was Gaara, and it sounded as though he was having his soul ripped out of him, or something equally painful. I had heard him yell before, when the other guy had extracted his chakra, but nothing like this. The new guy must be pulling it out much more violently and painfully to draw that sort of sound from Gaara.

The noise shot through my body, sharpening my senses in a disturbing manner. Suddenly, although the pain was still there, I was able to push past it, almost as though I was pushing it to the back of my mind. I felt strangely numb, which probably was not a good sign.

All I could smell was blood and the intense coppery smell made me gag a little. So much of the warm, thick substance was sticking my shirt to the skin of my back that it made sense.

The sound of his next scream had me scrambling on the ground, pitching forwards onto hands and knees, a shot of pain searing my nerves, but was once again pushed to the back of my mind after a second or two of gritting my teeth. My fingers scrabbled on the ground for a second before they dug into the dirt for purchase and I slowly pushed myself to my feet, straitening gradually.

I immediately noted that Mister Revival was hovering over Gaara's cage, and it appeared that he was siphoning chakra out of it at an enormous rate, stealing Gaara's chakra and now his life-force. I saw red again, pissed off beyond reason, beyond cognitive thought, beyond even feeling my own body, into a place where instinct reigned. The only thing that I knew, the only conscious thought in my head was that I had to get him away from Gaara. NOW.

Spurred on by another hideous, nearly inhuman, howl coming from the metal dome, I darted forward, ignoring my wounds in favor of moving quickly. I shoved chakra laced wind at my feet faster than I had ever done before and made a lance out of air sharpened to a deadly point by my chakra, altering my wind blade jutsu on the fly. I threw the lance, making contact and sending the villain spinning through the air.

Unfortunately his armor absorbed the chakra in my attack and lessened the blow enough that he survived what should have been a death blow. But he still slammed into the canyon wall, knocking himself silly for a good few minutes. Fuck armor. And his armor stupidly looked like it wanted to fuck, with that dumb sword sticking up and out of his crotch like that, so double-fuck it.

Maybe I had hit my head harder than I realized.

I leapt onto the metal dome while he was still stunned and gaining control of himself. Propelled by instinct, I didn't think, I simply acted. Mustering the remaining chakra in my body, I focused it all onto my fist, spiraling it almost like a corkscrew and calling forth as much wind as I could, making a howling tornado drill around my fist and forearm.

I slammed that down into the center point of the dome, actually breaking though and twisting the metal neatly around my arm in the process.

I suddenly found myself in a very bad position, chest pressed against the metal cage with my arm caught by the twisted metal, effectively immobilizing me. What was worse was that the torn and twisted metal was wickedly sharp, and I could feel it cutting into my skin. I started to feel something warm and wet dripping down my arm to my hand and drip off my fingertips into the cage. And this time it wasn't coming from my back, although that was probably also dripping down too.

Pressed against the metal as snugly as I was at the moment, I felt the vibrations of the rumble that came from beneath me, no longer sounding human at all. A zap of nervous energy zinged through my system as I thought that perhaps my hand was in danger. I didn't really know what state Gaara was in, but it sure sounded like Shukaku had come out to play, and he always played rough.

I couldn't help the tremor that shook my body when I felt hot breath on my fingers, wondering if maybe I would feel teeth ripping into me next.

Thankfully Gaara was the only thing I was currently worried about. I could hear the sound of a fight behind me, Naruto having caught up with the guy and distracting him long enough from me that I was given a little time.

I yelped when the breath on my hand was replaced with something hot and wet. _I think he just licked my hand! What the hell Gaara?_ And even worse, his tongue didn't even feel like a human tongue, the normal smooth slick skin feeling rougher, much closer to an animal tongue. That worried me. A lot. And judging by the way his tongue spanned from my fingers to above my wrist, it also felt like it was a lot longer than it should be.

Unfortunately I wasn't given the time to try and work my arm out of the hole it was now wedged inside. The sounds of battle had ceased, and that meant that you-know-who would be here to rip me a new one if I didn't get my act together.

I carefully, but quickly tugged on my arm in short pulls, trying to tilt it this way and that to make its extraction easier. I released myself from my confines, with quite a few deep gashes marking the path of the sharp metal as I had retreated, dragging it across my skin in the process. It was still better than if he had yanked me out.

I had only just managed to free myself before the revived nuisance popped up out of nowhere, smacking me with that damn tail again. I barely managed to weakly block one with a hastily pulled shuriken held in my hand, but the other two still got me. First one hit me broad-side across my belly, not cutting this time because of the angle, but tossing me up into the air and knocking my breath right back out of my still tender chest. I twisted, trying to right myself mid-air, but the other tail got to me first, smacking me and sending me flying through the air, to land hard on the ground, the momentum making me skid and then roll across the ground. I came sliding to a halt and felt someone rush up behind me.

I dimly opened my eyes and watched from my position on the ground, noting dully that there was a crimson red stain streaking the ground from where I had hit, leading towards me. It took me a few moments to realize it was my own blood. I watched, my gaze blurry and unfocused as Gaara roared, breaking out of the cage from the hole I had drilled in. Even in my fuzzy state I grinned, knowing that I had at least managed to weaken the metal enough for him to break out.

I felt someone touch my shoulder gingerly and heard them say something, but I was too out of it to respond in any way. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open and watch as Gaara first suppressed Shukaku with just his willpower and then proceeded to beat the shit out of Seimei with his sand, using a deadly level of violence that I hadn't seen from him in a very long time, indicating just how pissed off he was. He summoned an enormous amount of sand from the canyon walls to roll over Seimei in a massive wave, the thunder and crash of it immense and shaking the ground upon which I lay.

I dimly felt healing chakra being funneled into me and realized that Sakura must have gotten here. _How nice_ , I thought dreamily, my eyes going out of focus and blacking out for a second. I came to, only minutes later, feeling a little stronger, my eyes opening now to see Gaara forming a lance with his sand which he then hurled at Seimei.

I grinned, propping myself up on one arm. "Yes!" I yelped, so happy the bastard was finally dead. Well, dead again. Deader than he was before, I think. It was very difficult to figure out the proper terminology when it came to revived people.

"Woah, watch it! You're seriously wounded! Stay still!" I heard Sakura bark, but my attention was suddenly taken up by Gaara collapsing.

I gasped, a shot of pure terror scorching all thoughts from my head at the thought that he had died, thinking that his chakra had hit that dangerous level below zero that can actually kill you. I scrambled for purchase on the ground, shoving myself up and woozily ran over to Gaara, staggering this way and that as I went, stumbling a couple times. It's a good thing he was relatively close to where I had passed out.

I wasn't the only one concerned either, everyone was running to him now, afraid of the same thing.

I collapsed to my knees next to him, somehow managing to be one of the first ones there, aside from Naruto, who had no idea how to check for a pulse, and Kankuro, who was just as bad as Naruto. As the first one there who actually knew how to check and see if he was still alive, I didn't hesitate to press my fingers clumsily against his throat, fumbling for a second when they slipped because of the blood coating them. I growled and pushed them against his skin a little harder, feeling around for a pulse.

I sighed out in relief once I found it. It was a little weak, but still steady. "He's alive!" I whispered, my fingers trembling against his neck. I kept them there, just to reassure myself that he was still alive, not wanting to let go just yet, needing to feel his pulse.

It was at that moment that a strange thing happened. All sound cut out, from normal to nothing in half a second. I blinked and looked up, still seeing people's mouths working. And then my hands went numb and I could feel myself falling over, my hand falling limply off Gaara's throat and landing on the sand beside his head. My whole body tipped forwards, onto his, my head coming to rest on his chest. I blinked slowly, the edges of my vision getting blurry and color going away until I was seeing in black and white.

I thought numbly. _Well. Maybe I'm dying. Huh. Go figure_. Dimly, though I couldn't hear anything else, I faintly caught the steady beat of Gaara's heart under my ear. I sighed, contentedly, my eyes slowly closing, shutting out everyone's panicked faces, and listened to the heart beat that told me everything was okay. Even if I died, it was fine, because he was still alive.

And then even that faded away, and I sunk into a blackness that was soft and warm and welcoming.

 **End Chapter 26**

 **Author's Note:**

If anyone is interested, I can start posting the music I listen to while writing each chapter. I have to have music while I write, and if you think it might add to your experience to listen to the same music while you read, I can write down the song names, just let me know.

This chapter sure was intense! I hope everyone enjoyed the finale of this battle. :3


	27. Chapter 27

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

 _Will someone shut that off?_

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

 _Oh for crying out loud…._

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

 _I'm trying to sleep here. Shut that fucking thing off!_

 **Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.**

"Goddam it all! Shut UP!" I yelled, my eyes popping open and glaring at the stupid machine making all the racket. After a moment I realized it was a heart monitor, which meant I was in the hospital. Why was that again?

I searched my mental memory banks, trying to figure out what the hell kind of nonsense had happened this time to put me in the hospital. _Oh. Right. The damn revival horny dude. Which reminds me…_

"Where's Gaara?" I barked to the room in general, figuring that someone must be in here with me or at least nearby.

I turned my head to see Kankuro snoozing at the foot of my bed. Kaoru and Hikaru were propped up in chairs on the far side, leaning against each other and making their whistles and chirps that meant they were deep asleep. I glanced out the window, it was dark.

I took inventory. Well, there was a pretty stiff bandage around my torso and coming up over my injured shoulder. I had a bandage around my head. And my arm was totally wrapped up too.

I glanced down at my hands, bringing one up for inspection. _Hmmm._ My fingernails were all really, really short. Painfully so. Reminding me that I had torn them. _Whoops_. Actually, there was one missing completely. _Well that certainly looks strange. Ouch. Kinda hurts too._

I winced, putting my hand back down. "Sooo…." I said, a little louder.

Kankuro snorted and his head came up off the bed, a little drool on one cheek. _Eww._ "Um, you're drooling Kankuro." I said, pointing to his cheek when he looked up sleepily.

After a minute he responded sleepily, "Huh? Oh, thanks Ren." He wiped his cheek and sat back, his eyes slowly waking up. "OH! REN! You're awake!" he yelped, jerking upright instantly and turning to me, his eyes wide.

"Yeeeees. Obviously. Wow, you sure are bright when you first wake up." I teased, one eyebrow raised.

"How do you feel?"

"Um…well, kinda sore. Stiff. But that might be all the damn bandages. And I'm missing a fingernail…which is gross." I scowled back down at my hand, a little offended.

He blinked. "You're grossed out because you're missing a fingernail?"

I looked back up at him, "Hm? Oh. Yeah, sort of. It looks really weird. Don't you think?" I held out my hand for him to look at.

He blinked some more, looking a little bewildered and then glanced down at my hand. "Yeah…It looks kinda freaky. It looks like it hurts."

"Sure. It smarts a bit." I shrugged. That was actually an understatement, but compared to some of my other aches and pains, it was pretty minor.

"You're weird." Kankuro said.

"Well yeah, I'm lopsided, what do you expect. It's thrown me off balance." I snorted.

"Huh?" He squinted, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"Oh never mind." I sighed, my jokes were lost on him.

After a pause I continued my earlier line of questioning. "So how's Gaara?"

"Oh he's fine. Still hasn't woken up yet though. He's at home, passed out on his bed. There's nothing wrong with him aside from a few scratches. It was the chakra loss. So it's just a matter of time."

"Oh. Well that's good I guess." I scratched my head and then winced, putting my hand back down. _Note to self, no scratching anything for a while until my fingernails grow back._

"Hey, how about I go get a nurse?" Kankuro inquired suddenly.

"I guess that might be a good idea." I shrugged.

Kankuro left and the twins kept me company with their orchestra of weird noises while I waited. I gazed at them fondly. Kaoru was drooling a little on Hikaru's shoulder and I knew he would be exceptionally fussy with his brother in the morning. I snorted, amused.

Kankuro returned with a very perky nurse. "Well hi there! It's good to see you awake, we were starting to worry you had sustained some serious head trauma. You've been passed out for about a week now."

"Seriously? A week?" I blinked, shocked.

"Oh yes. A week. Now let me see here. Your chart says you have injuries on your back, arm, and head. Let's check those shall we?" she beamed.

"Sure." I answered, almost a little frightened by her sunny personality. _It's the middle of the night for god's sake! What the hell kind of coffee has she been drinking?_

She drew the curtain for privacy around my bed, and then had me sit up so she could unwrap the bandages from around my waist, chest, and arm.

"Well, this one looks like it's healing up well." She said happily about the gash on my back, lightly pressing her chilly gloved fingertips against the skin around the wound to check for swelling. "Let me just re-bandage it." She chirped. After doing that she checked the almost spiral-looking pattern of gashes going up my arm from the metal. "Ouch, this looks nasty. How in the world did you get such a strangely patterned wound?"

I blinked at her. "I punched a hole in a metal cage."

"Oh. Well, it certainly looks like you did enough damage to yourself while you did it! It looks like it's healing up nicely, but you will have several new scars." She hummed as she wrapped up my arm.

After she was all done checking me out she said, "All and all, we'll keep you for observation tonight, but tomorrow if you feel like it you can go home. There will be some maintenance on your wounds, cleaning and refreshing the bandages and such, and you certainly won't be able to do anything active for at least another week, and even then I would recommend waiting for a while. You don't want to reopen your wounds, particularly the one on your back. It was very bad."

"Sure." I hummed noncommittally.

"Well, try and get some more rest tonight. I'll check in with you in the morning." She scooted out of the room after drawing the privacy curtain back.

"Okay." I said as she left, contemplating how in the world the hospital had found someone like her.

I sighed and decided to try and go back to sleep, my eyelids getting heavy. Kankuro noticed and said he was heading off to check on Gaara.

I hummed in acknowledgement and lay back down, finding myself surprisingly tired. I slept deeply, without any dreams to disturb my rest, my body simply too tired for my subconscious to get active enough to fuck with me.

The next morning the nurses came back in and checked me out from top to bottom, asking me lots of questions about how I was feeling, and then had me stand and walk a few paces. After giving me the all clear I checked out. Kankuro was gone but Hikaru and Kaoru were still there. They braced me between them and helped me out the door.

"So, where to?" Kaoru asked from one side.

"Your apartment?" Hikaru asked on the other.

I thought about it for a second. "No, actually. Can you take me to Gaara's house? I want to check on him."

They shared a look. "Something told us you'd say that." Kaoru said, steering me in that direction.

"Yep, let's go." Hikaru agreed.

"Thanks guys." I mumbled, almost a little embarrassed by accepting their assistance.

"No problem" they chimed together.

They helped me to Gaara's house without any problems on the way. Hikaru knocked on the door and Temari answered.

"Ren! How are you doing?! Kankuro told me you woke up last night! Oh, come in, come in!" She quickly opened the door wider to allow us in.

Kaoru helped me in and then the twins excused themselves, obviously a little uncomfortable.

"So how is…?" I started, but was interrupted by Temari.

"Gaara? I figured you'd ask. Come on, I'll take you to him."

"Thanks." I sighed.

I slowly made my way up the stairs, using the banister for support and having to pause every so often.

"He's up on the next floor, sorry." Temari said, grimacing and I groaned. _Yay. Another flight of stairs. Joy._

I made it up the second flight and staggered in through the door. Being passed out for a week apparently seriously messed with your stamina. My eyes immediately zoned in to Gaara, who was lying on his bed, a little pale and thoroughly asleep.

"He could still sleep for a while. He nearly got down to zero." Temari murmured, her voice concerned.

"That low huh?" I muttered. That meant that he had gotten very close to dying.

"Here, you can take this chair. I'm going to go downstairs and make some lunch. You want anything?" Temari asked, pausing on her way out the door.

"No thank you. I'm okay." I responded with a huff as I sat down in the chair she had mentioned, scooting up till I was right next to the bed.

"Okay, if you're sure. If you need me, just yell."

"Sure." I said gratefully and smiled at her. "Thanks."

"No problem." She responded, also smiling and then left.

Once Temari had gone, I was left alone to my thoughts as I watched him. I sighed and rested my elbows next to him on the bed, propping my chin up with my hand as I watched his eyes twitch under his dark eyelids. It was amazing for me to think about just how much this boy had impacted my life. Actually it was pretty frightening.

Just thinking back to how I had responded during the last battle, putting my life in jeopardy so many times so that I could try and save his, it made me realize just how much he meant to me. I still valiantly refused to allow my mind to wander down certain paths, but I couldn't help but know now that Gaara had become the most important person in my life. Well he had always been that, but now he was…even more to me, more than just my best friend. He was my whole world, and that was exactly what I had been trying to avoid.

 _Damn._

As the hours progressed, the time was spent watching him and contemplating just how much we had been through together. The hours passed quickly as I worked through older memories and then brought forth newer ones, like the way he had taken care of me when I had been injured after Matsuri had been kidnapped. Though really, there were certain things about that memory that I tried not to think about too hard, like the sensation of his fingers in my mouth, his warm hand cupping my chin, the strange feeling of his thumb pressing into my throat, the way he had held me so tightly, and handled me so gently. And yet they kept popping randomly into my head.

I sighed, wondering if he had minded being so hands-on about my care. It was difficult for me to not think that me being so helpless had maybe been irritating for him. I sighed, my eyes skimming over his face, knowing I wouldn't be getting any answers out of him right now. Not that I would ever ask him those sorts of questions…

As the day turned into night, I found that I couldn't leave. For whatever reason, seeing him like this compelled me to stay and watch over him, to make sure he would be okay. When Kankuro entered the room that evening, I glanced up, worried that I was about to be kicked out and then worried that maybe I should kick myself out, knowing that I must be behaving incredibly rudely to impose upon them like this.

"I guess I should go…" I said, torn. I grimaced unconsciously and my eyes strayed back to Gaara's face as I stood from my post.

"If you want to that's fine. But you should know that we're happy for you to stay…"

I looked back over to Kankuro eagerly, hoping that what he said was true and that he wasn't just trying to be polite. "Are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything."

"No! You're not imposing at all! It would actually help us a lot. Temari and I have a huge amount of work to do, with our students and all, so having you here would keep us from worrying so much!" Kankuro said emphatically.

I sighed, relieved and sunk back down into my chair, resuming my station. For the next several days I stayed there, too concerned to leave. Temari and Kankuro came and went, checking in whenever they could between tasks assigned to them.

After the first day, late into the second day Kankuro came in holding some various medical supplies. "Hey Ren, do you mind taking care of those scratches? They need to be re-bandaged, and I have some major shit I've gotta do. Temari's also busy."

I blinked, "Um. Sure, I guess. Is there any sort of antibiotic or something that I should put on before re-bandaging, after I wash out the wounds?"

"Oh, yeah. Here. This is the cream to put on them."

"Okay." I took the supplies from him and he left, all without me noticing the calculating gleam in Kankuro's eyes.

I hesitated looking at Gaara's sleeping face and then at the covers tucked up around his shoulders. Sucking in a deep breath I carefully peeled away the covers, immediately noticing that he shivered and his brow scrunched up a little, showing that he didn't like the chill, even if it didn't wake him up.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." I whispered softly.

His top half was naked, thankfully, so I didn't have to worry about actually getting a shirt over his head. That would have been a pain in the butt. Still, looking at his scratched up and bruised torso gave me some seriously conflicting emotions. On the one hand I winced, all the bandages making my skin ach in empathy. I hated to see him hurt so badly. On the other hand, I couldn't help but notice that underneath the bandages and bruising he had a very appealing body, thin, but with lean muscle.

 _Nope, not going to think about that, just focus on the wounds and get him covered back up._

I gingerly tucked my fingers under the shoulder that had been gashed deeply and found the edge of that bandage, slowly peeling it out from underneath him. I hissed as the gash was revealed. It had been much deeper than I had thought and had nearly gone through the muscle. It probably had, but the medical ninjas had already reattached everything. I cleaned the wound with gauze and some alcohol, swabbed it with the cream, and then carefully re-bandaged it. I repeated the process for all the other smaller bandages on his torso, which covered much less severe scratches and abrasions.

I had to control both my mind and my breathing as I worked, the sensation of his warm skin against my fingers getting to me in ways I wasn't going to think about. After I was done I swiftly covered him back up. Actually he felt a bit too warm. Maybe he was getting chakra sick. I had heard that if you lost too much chakra it could lead to sickness, even fever.

I felt his forehead with the back of my hand, noting how toasty he had gotten. He definitely had a fever. I tucked the covers back around his shoulders and then went into the bathroom to get a rag, wetting it with cool water. The rag went on his forehead and he twitched, grumbling in his sleep. I chuckled.

"It's okay Gaara. It's just a cool rag. It'll help with your fever." I soothed, knowing that he couldn't understand me but hoping somehow it would help. Surprisingly his fussing stopped and he calmed down, tilting his face slightly in my direction.

 _Huh. Interesting._ I blinked.

As his fever rose I grew concerned, doing my best to keep it down by putting the cool rag on his forehead and cooling it off with increasing frequency by directing a little breeze. I pushed double duty, directing the breeze to go between the cloth and his moist face, getting both at once.

He grew more and more restless as the night continued, his fever rising. What was interesting and unsettling was the way his sand grew more active as he began to fidget. I definitely had noticed when the cork of his gourd had popped out a little while ago. The sand had spread lazily to coat the entire floor and now it even twined up the legs of the bed. It was very strange, and at first I had been hesitant to walk amongst his sand while he was unconscious and not in control of it. But really there hadn't been any choice in the matter when I had to go and rewet the cloth. So, I had taken a deep breath and untucked my legs from where they had snuck up under me on my chair when I first noticed the anomaly, and gingerly put one foot down on the shifting tan ground.

I gulped as the sand flinched under my bare foot, my boots off in the corner from when I had shed them yesterday. Thankfully the sand didn't respond violently in any way, it simply resumed its swirling nonsense of patterns on the floor around and now over my foot. I swallowed and put the other foot down, the sand jumping again under the new touch.

I stood slowly, waiting to see if the shifting sand would impact my balance at all, but it didn't. The shifting grains felt very strange under the soles of my feet, but didn't throw me off-balance thankfully. "Okay. Well then, I guess I'll just go and get some water from the sink now…" I muttered to myself.

I delicately padded over the sand, noting how it slithered around and over my feet, and even sometimes sent little tendrils curiously around my ankles. It was ticklish, and actually kind of pleasant. I hummed, surprised and relieved to find that it didn't seem at all threatened by me.

I went into the bathroom and rinsed out the cloth, wringing it several times before cooling it off under the tap again. While I was doing that, I could feel an inquisitive tendril of sand curl up over my foot, and then start to make its way up my ankle and then calf. It was very gentle, and frankly it didn't bother me at all. It was sort of like having an affectionate pet snake or something. I snorted at that thought, thinking that maybe I had become a little loopy after staying up last night and tonight. Then again, I was used to sleep deprivation, so it shouldn't affect me too much.

After I finished with the sink I turned off the tap and walked back to the bed, the tendril on my leg detaching from the sand carpet on the ground and hitching a ride. I sat back down and reapplied the moistened cloth to Gaara's forehead. The sand on my leg dispersed into the air, a little cloud of sandiness that drifted around the room and then back to the ground to join the mass.

I mostly ignored the sand in favor of taking care of Gaara, working hard to get his fever under control. His siblings had stopped in earlier, and now it was quite late, so I didn't expect them to come by again for another several hours. If his fever hadn't gone down by then I was going to ask Temari to go get something to bring down his fever. I had already checked his medical kit, and he didn't have anything for it in there. Actually his medical kit was pretty scanty in general, but then I supposed that made sense, considering he never got hurt or sick.

I sighed, beginning to talk to him as he started to get more and more fussy as the fever progressed. At one point I pulled the covers off of him to try and cool his temperature down some. He hadn't liked that one little bit. He snarled, and I had to duck the sand that went whizzing over my head at his clumsy unconscious command.

"Gaara! Stop that right now! You have a fever and it's getting higher. We have to cool you down somehow. This isn't that bad. I'll put the covers back on you in a minute, just bear with me for a little while okay?" I cajoled.

He settled down some, still grumbling quietly to himself. I sighed and sat next to him on the bed, putting my hand to his forehead to check on the fever. His skin was sticky with sweat and his hair was dark red from the moisture. I delicately picked off the strands of hair stuck to his forehead and smoothed them back, indulging in the desire to touch him.

His grumbling stopped and he leaned his head into my hand. I raised an eyebrow, surprised that that sort of thing would sooth him when normally he avoided touch altogether. I shrugged and continued to pet his head lightly, gently running my fingers through his damp hair, untangling as I went. I was shocked when, after a while, a gentle rumble started up in his chest.

At first I thought he was growling at me, but it was too gentle to be that, and too constant. I leaned down a little, trying to get a read on what was going on. When I realized that he was actually purring, like a cute little fluffy house cat, a delighted chuckle escaped from my chest. _Well, who knew, Gaara of the Desert can purr like a happy kitten._

I smiled tenderly down at him, "So you can purr huh? That's awfully cute for such a big bad attitude like yours. Maybe we had better keep this a secret. What do you think?" I crooned.

To my surprise his purring simply got louder when I began to talk to him. I chuckled and kept petting his head as he cooled down from the covers being off. It definitely helped his fever to come down.

After a while I sighed, got off the bed, pulled the covers back up, and let him snuggle back down. I parked myself back in my chair and relaxed for a moment. Then I started back up with the cool cloth on his forehead.

I had one leg tucked up beneath me and the other dangling, with my toes grazing the ground. After a while I felt a little delicate coil of sand curl around my toes and then slowly climb up my leg from there. I simply let it do what it wanted, not really paying attention to it. It was very gentle, not obtrusive in any way, and soon enough I found it in my lap.

I looked down and watched the interesting way it spiraled around over my thighs, seeming to just be mapping out the terrain. In between cooling the cloth on Gaara's forehead, I reached a finger down and touched the tip to the sandy inquisitor. It flinched and then investigated my finger, curling around it. I smiled and lifted my finger a little, drawing the sandy spiral up with it, and then gently tipped my hand over and pulled it into my palm. I watched it for a while as it poked around in my hand.

It was endlessly fascinating to me, the way the sand seemed to have a mind of its own, almost a personality. Interacting with it was equally entertaining. I wiggled my fingers and it weaved back and forth between them.

After a little break, I went back to monitoring Gaara's fever, gently setting the sand back down in my lap. As the night wore on I could slowly feel the exhaustion pulling me under, my eyelids growing heavy and my head achy. I was determined though, and kept reapplying that cloth to his forehead.

 **End Chapter 27**

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Sorry for the longer wait, I had some college shit come up, yay…

I received some interest in the music list thing, so I'll post the first list here:

* * *

Position Music – Gryphonheart by Jo Blankenburg (hospital scene)

Friendship to Last by Two Steps from Hell (Gaara's house)

Circles by Hollywood Undead (re-bandaging his wounds)

PosteHaste Music – Legendary Quest by Mark Petrie (fever and sand)

For Your Smile by Danny Rayel (Gaara purrs)

* * *

I can't wait to see if you all liked it! You can find all the songs on Youtube.


	28. Chapter 28

I sighed, the drowsiness so fucking hard to resist. My hand dropped from the cloth and I lightly tested his temperature with my hand on his cheek. It seemed a little better. My hand slid off his cheek and I scooted forward, putting my elbows beside him on the bed. After a while I drooped, my forehead resting on my hands. Drowsily I slid my chair forward and rested my upper body on the bed, my head on my folded arms. There wasn't a lot of space, but I made it work, snuggling my folded arms right up to his side.

After a while, I was still squinched uncomfortably, and half asleep, I eventually sprawled out more, my upper body halfway over his, my head coming to rest, ironically, against his chest again. I didn't really feel the sand as it slowly curled up my arms.

 **Kankuro and Temari POV**

The two siblings made their way tiredly up the staircase to check on their younger brother, neither one too concerned since he had such an attentive nurse. Kankuro opened the door and stalled, Temari running into his back. She began to splutter, already sounding offended when he shushed her with enough force that she actually shut up for once. She shoved him to the side so she could see what in the hell had him frozen like a statue.

Kankuro and Temari stood there, stock still, gazing in shock at the scene in front of them. The whole floor was coated in sand, something that instinctively kept them both out. Gaara was still passed out on the bed, but now it looked like Ren had joined him. She was laying with her head on his chest, one arm draped over him and the other curled up close to her chest. One of Gaara's hands had somehow snaked out from under the covers and was now tangled in her hair. It was an incredibly sweet and tender scene.

If that, in and of itself, hadn't been enough to startle them into silence, the sand that was currently coiled around her certainly did. It spiraled up from her foot on the ground and then into her lap, where it then coiled around her torso a few times, branching off into curly roots that spider-webbed their way up and over her arms and torso.

They couldn't help but be concerned that it had attacked her, and she was actually passed out, or…they refused to think of the alternative. "You think she's okay?" Temari asked Kankuro anxiously, not really wanting to go in there to check.

"I don't know…." He responded tentatively, obviously not eager either.

They shared a look and then together tiptoed into the room. The sand didn't exactly respond hostilely to them treading on it, but it didn't seem to like it very much either, swirling a little more aggressively underneath their shoes, sometimes almost tipping one or the other over entirely.

They eventually made it to Ren, both panting and very, very tense. Temari reached over Ren's shoulder to check her pulse, but jerked back sharply when a coil of sand reared itself from her neck, looking like a snake ready to strike.

Kankuro had similar luck on the other side, but even worse since he actually received a crack across the back of his hand for trying to touch her. It hurt and left a rather nasty red welt that had him cussing quietly to himself. All they could do was hover anxiously and monitor her breathing visually, relaxing only when they could see that she was simply sound asleep, her breathing deep and easy and peaceful. They hastily made a quick retreat, the sand giving them issues the entire way out. Once out of the room, they paused to catch their breath.

"Well, it looks like the sand likes her a lot more than it likes us." Kankuro chuckled breathlessly.

"Yeah, it's as if it was protecting her or something" Temari agreed, bemused.

"So weird. It looks like they're both fine though. Let's just leave them alone." Kankuro yawned, abruptly very tired.

"I agree." Temari responded, and they gently closed the door and left.

 **Ren POV**

The next morning I woke to the odd sensation of sand, in places it wouldn't normally be. I slowly opened my eyes, groaning. "What the…?"

I raised my head and felt sand slithering out of my hair. I blinked in shock, looking down at my arms covered in a sandy web that was quickly sliding off. I yelped, realizing that it had even crept up underneath my shirt sometimes during the night. I shook out the material and little tendrils of sand quickly came scooting out from underneath, as if they knew they weren't supposed to be there. I rolled my eyes, thinking that Gaara's sand maybe had a little too much personality.

Speaking of, I glanced towards the unconscious red-head, and then reached over to feel his forehead. It was still a little warm, but it was much cooler than last night and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I stretched out my sore muscles and then winced when the scab on my back cracked. That reminded me, I probably needed to switch out my bandages. I decided to wait just a little longer, monitoring Gaara's fever to make sure it showed no signs of surging back. When it continued to slowly decrease down to nothing, I sighed and stood up, the sand pouring out of my lap and onto the ground.

I went into the bathroom, taking the leftover bandages, alcohol, and ointment from when I had redressed Gaara's wounds. I closed the door and looked longingly towards the shower, considering my options. A shower would feel fantastic right about now, but I wasn't sure that it was such a good idea.

 _Gaara probably wouldn't mind though…_

If I knew anything about fate and circumstance, there was a good chance that Gaara would pick the moment that I was naked in his shower to pop awake and would walk in on me dripping wet. Then again, if it meant that he would finally wake up, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

"Oh what the hell." I shrugged, deciding to just go for it. I glanced towards the door knob, but unfortunately it looked like there wasn't a lock on the bathroom door. I grimaced, but went ahead and decided to live dangerously. Grabbing a fresh towel from the cabinet, feeling like a thief as I did so, I quickly jumped in the shower, taking the fastest and most tense shower of my entire life, expecting him to walk in at any moment.

As soon as I was done I hopped out of the shower and dried off super-fast, yanking on my pants. I breathed a sigh of relief, some of the tenseness relaxing from my shoulders. I left my top off and turn to look at the mirror, trying to see how my back looked by craning my neck over my shoulder. _Wow, that looks pretty gnarly._

As I admired my new wound in the mirror, sarcastically thinking it was going to make a great new scar to add to my collection, I held a towel to my chest, overly self-conscious in Gaara's bathroom. And that turned out to be a very good thing, cause wouldn't you know it? Naturally as soon as I was out of the bedroom, and was instead partially naked in the bathroom, Gaara woke up.

I saw the door open in the mirror and spun my head back around so fast I felt it pop and nearly dropped the towel, but thankfully managed to scramble and grab it with my numb fingers. I didn't know how much my fumbling had exposed, but I didn't think I had shown Gaara anything extremely inappropriate.

"Gaara! You're awake!" I yelped, caught between embarrassment and joy that he was okay.

He blinked, completely still and silent, and slowly his gaze traveled from my face down to the towel clutched in a death grip in my arms. I felt myself blush, suddenly very aware that I was naked from the waist up, with only a towel to cover my breasts. Not that I wasn't already hyper aware of the fact, but Gaara's gaze managed to make my embarrassment double or even triple in strength.

"Ahem, ah … yeah, sorry about commandeering your bathroom like this, I just needed to change my bandage, and I didn't want to leave…in case your fever came back, or something…" I finished lamely, feeling thoroughly humiliated at being caught using his bathroom as if it was my own. _I knew this would happen! Goddammit!_

At my mention of "bandage" his eyes shifted over my shoulder to the reflection of my back in the mirror, and his breath sucked in on a fast inhale. I glanced over my shoulder, assessing what he was seeing. Despite the medics treating me it still looked pretty nasty, the torn skin an ugly red gash across my upper back, still very raw, but thankfully now mostly superficial. The gash was surrounded by an ugly blotchy mess of bruises. And you could also see the nasty gashes in my arm that almost seemed to spiral up it from the shape of the ripped metal and the way I had twisted my arm as I pulled it out.

Of course, my back already was speckled thickly with small white scars, quite dense on my shoulders and tapering to an even distribution down the rest of my back, becoming more and more scattered as they neared my hips. I scowled at them, having always hating them and the constant reminder of that horrible day so long ago when I had had glass shards ground into the skin of my back. Although, that was also the first day I had met Gaara, so my feelings about it were varied.

The combination of old and sure to be new scars made me look quite a mess, and suddenly I was very self-conscious not only about being naked, but also having Gaara see one of the least appealing part of my body. I scrambled to wrap the towel around my body, trying to get it to cover my back and hide the ruined skin that I was so ashamed of, all without revealing anything on my front.

"Stop." My movement abruptly ceased at the deep command, and I glanced up at Gaara, not realizing that I had ducked my head in shame, or that my eyes were suddenly watery. I inhaled a shaky breath and swallowed thickly. His eyes were fixed on my reflection and he stepped closer to me, causing me to suck in a sharp breath and take a step back, not particularly comfortable with the abrupt proximity he had just chosen.

I backed up to the sink, my butt hitting the counter behind me, and I cursed it in my head for being so damn solid and not just letting me sink through. He closed the space between us, his eyes never leaving the mirror, I leaned back.

He closed the distance until there was barely enough room between our chests for my arms which were still crossed over my chest protectively and clutching the towel. This close, I could hear his deep breaths, sounding a little faster than usual. To be fair, my breathing was much faster than his, nearly panting really, from his proximity, the fact that I was indecently clothed, and a certain amount of intense vulnerability at having my scars exposed.

I was a hot mess, a hodgepodge mix of excitement, (which was confusing in and of itself), terrified, embarrassed, ashamed, and various other strange emotions. I was trembling, to the point I could even see it in the white knuckles of my hands clasping the towel around me.

He stared at my back in the mirror for a long poignant moment and then gently gripped my upper arms with his warm palms and turned me, not giving me much choice in the matter. I ducked my head and closed my eyes, not really sure what else to do but let him do whatever it was he planned. Technically I could have fought him off, but somehow the vulnerability had paralyzed me and made me unable to protest.

Perhaps closing my eyes wasn't such a good idea, because with my sense of sight gone my other senses were sent into hyper-drive, even more than they already were. I could more clearly hear his raspy breathing behind me, and feel the feather light touch of his warm breath puffing against the skin on my neck. And so when his fingertips lightly grazed my back I nearly jumped out of my skin. He slid his fingertips under the edge of the towel, the little that I had managed to fling over my back in my mad scramble to cover myself, and gently tugged, making his wishes known.

I resisted for a moment, gripping the towel even harder, but at a much more insistent tug I finally gave in, pulling the towel more firmly against my front, but allowing him to pull it away from my back to drop to my side. I bundled up the extra in front of me, feeling strangely better about having more of a shield in front, but also feeling ridiculously exposed now that my back was completely bare for his gaze. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest through the towel.

My eyes were still closed, and I flinched when I felt his fingers touch me again, and then trembled when he grazed them gently across my back, underneath the large scratch that marred my back. His touch was so delicate that it didn't hurt my bruises at all, but it did send a shiver down my spine.

He leaned around me and took the wet clean rag that I had been about to use to clean my wound off the counter top. I could feel the air shifting around me when he moved and I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. I saw him take the rag, and then I watched him in the mirror, not really able to see his hands since my body was blocking most of his, but I could see his face.

His expression was fierce, as though he was concentrating intensely. Watching his face was so fascinating and absorbed so much of my attention that the touch of the warm rag was a shock. The torn skin was hyper sensitive and still hurt quite a bit, so the unexpected pressure and friction made me flinch. I yelped, mostly uncensored out of surprise.

Gaara jumped, I was still looking at him in the mirror, although I had momentarily lost focus, and I noted the surprise and then a certain amount of fear or trepidation cross his features lightning fast, leaving behind a semi-scrunched non-brow and concerned expression in its wake. His eyes flicked up to meet mine in the mirror, catching me off-guard and I blushed at being caught watching him.

"Did I hurt you?" His voice was softer than usual, gentler.

I had never heard that particular tone in his voice before, it was so sweet, almost tender. At least, I hadn't heard it in a long, long time, not since he had cared for me all those years ago. The striking resemblance of the situation, Gaara tending to my wounds, it nearly blindsided me.

I smiled, holding back tears, and I met his gaze, holding it for a few seconds and whispered, "I'm fine, it hurts a little, but it's okay."

He blinked, not really sure what was different about my emotionally charged voice or what it meant, but he went back to performing his task. His eyes slid back down to my back, releasing me from his stare. I felt relieved that he didn't see the few tears sliding silently down my cheeks.

The heartrending memory of him caring for me as children, it suddenly felt so near, so real, the emotions abruptly fresh, as if it had only been yesterday when we had been so close, our bond so tight and strong, seemingly unbreakable. And the knowledge hurt, that that reality was long gone. Though we were now friends, that special bond _had_ been broken, the love between our childhood spirits was lost to the ether. At the loss of that bond, the grief that I felt was overwhelming, and yet now it was combined with happiness, the joy that I felt from his caring for me now. It was so strange.

I was snapped out of my daze by the sensation of the rag once again sliding over my torn skin. I hissed, but didn't flinch this time. He paused for a second and then continued, muttering a soft apology. Midway across my back he abruptly stalled, his hand growing still and then trembling.

I glanced up at his face in the mirror. He was wearing a very strange, blank expression, his lips parted a little and his sea-foam eyes unfocused and gazing into the distance. He looked dazed. After a minute it shifted to one of confusion and perhaps even a little disturbed and shocked. He shook his head and his eyes focused back onto my back, and once again I felt that unpleasant friction on my raw nerves as he gently but thoroughly cleaned my cut. I dismissed the odd circumstance as a leftover spaz attack caused by his recent coma.

 *** Gaara POV***

His hand shook a little as he gently cleaned her wound, completely out of his depth and slightly uncomfortable. He was determined to do this for her, despite his inexperience with caring for others in this way, and his typical discomfort at physical contact. Being unused to physical contact, it had always felt kind of bizarre to him. Strangely though, this physical contact didn't bother him, even though his skin was brushing against hers every now and then, it didn't feel odd or unpleasant the way it did when he had to shake someone's hand. Actually he rather enjoyed the sensation, feeling the warmth of her body radiating against his hand that was so close to her skin, although he certainly didn't enjoy causing her pain.

It was obvious in the slight noises that she made and the way her shoulders were hunched, that this was unpleasant, which came as no surprise considering how painful her wound looked. Having little experience with pain, Gaara wasn't as familiar with how she felt at the moment, but he knew that pain was generally to be avoided. He certainly remembered the sensation of pain from when his chest had been torn open by Sasuke's lightning attack, and the more recent wounds from his last battle, particularly the one on his shoulder.

He attempted to be as gentle as possible, but still thoroughly clean the gash, carefully wiping away some of the dried blood that was caked on the edges. The medical ninjas had done a good job, her wound was scabbing over well and was obviously not as deep as it had been. Based on the size he was surprised it hadn't severed her spine. He supposed the deepest part of it must have been closer to her shoulder.

As he was cleaning, a strange sense of dejavu came over him, and strangely it felt as though he had done this before. He shook it off, brushing it off as absurd. But the feeling persisted, and only seemed to grow stronger as he made his way to the center of her back.

He started having images pop into his mind, hazy memories. He had a brief impression, a fuzzy indistinct image taking over his vision as his eyes unfocused to accommodate the strong sense that this was something important, something that he should know, or that he had once known and had forgotten. He saw himself handling a wet cloth, much like the one that was currently in his hand, and … there was dried blood that he was gently cleaning off a wound … no … multiple wounds. He had the fleeting, elusive vision of a skinny back, thinner really than was healthy with ribs that showed on the sides. And then the strange image was gone, leaving an odd feeling of regret and … affection?

Gaara shook his head, his eyes refocusing, and he realized that he had rested the rag in one spot on Ren's back for too long. He continued to clean, trying to come up with some explanation as to the strange experience he had just had.

 ***Ren POV***

I noticed that Gaara's brow was still furrowed, seemingly deep in thought. He finished cleaning my wound and set the rag back down on the counter, reaching around me again. I could feel his breath brush against my shoulder as he leaned forward, causing me to shiver.

He grabbed the ointment and smeared some on his fingers, frowning down at the mixture with an odd expression again. I tensed when I felt him put his fingers to my back, anticipating the sting of the cream. Despite bracing myself and clenching my teeth, my breath sucked into my lungs in a hiss as I felt the sensation prick my nerves.

Gaara paused, "You okay?"

"Yeah it just stings a bit …" I groaned, biting my lip.

He paused for a good minute or two, his expression a little fuzzy again. "I've heard that some medicine hurts …" he said softly almost dreamily.

Strangely enough, I think I had told him that. I glanced curiously over my shoulder at him.

 ***Gaara POV***

There it was again, that strange sense of dejavu. He could almost hear in his head a soft voice, the voice of a girl, mumbling those words to him. And he had a flash of purple eyes flicker across his awareness, eyes large in a child's face, but the face was blurry.

Where were these images coming from? And why now all of a sudden?

 ***Ren POV***

Gaara finished putting the cream on my back. His movements were swift and efficient as he tried to minimize my discomfort, or so I assumed. It was equally likely that he was just trying to get it over with quickly, perhaps uncomfortable with the situation.

Then he grabbed the bandage off the counter, obviously intending to finish the job and bandage me. _Uh oh, this might get awkward_. It was a long bandage that was meant to be wrapped multiple times around the body, and I had a towel in front of my chest. And for good reason.

I watched in the mirror as Gaara held up the rolled up bandage for inspection, confused how to put it on.

I blushed, "Um, Gaara?"

His eyes flicked up to meet mine in the mirror.

"The bandage has to be wrapped around my body." I gestured in a circle with one arm to emphasize the idea.

He blinked and looked at my back and then down at the bandage.

I sighed. "Hold one end on my back above the cut and then hand it to me and I'll wrap it around my front and hand it back to you."

He nodded, doing as I asked.

We tried it, but holding the towel and pulling the bandage across my body with any sort of finesse was impossible. I nearly dropped the towel, which would have exposed my breasts in the mirror.

"Shit," I hissed fumbling with the bandage in one hand and the towel in the other. "This is impossible."

I sucked in a deep breath and thought about the problem for a moment. After a minute I figured out what I thought was the only way to do this right. I turned around, handing him the roll of bandages. "Hold that for a second please."

He blinked, watching me. I took a step past him, so I was facing the shower instead of the mirror. "Okay, now you can get behind me again." I said, looking over my shoulder.

He looked confused but came over and resumed his previous position directly behind me.

"Now do the same thing as last time. Hold one end above the cut and then hand me the other end."

"Okay…" I heard him mutter and felt him place the end of the bandage on the skin of my back, holding it there with a little pressure from his finger as he stretched it flat against my skin and then handed me the roll. I would have to drop the towel if I wanted to wrap my end properly, flat against my skin so it didn't get twisted up on my cut.

It turned out to be very difficult for me to drop the towel. I blushed, very embarrassed, and a little excited, but I tried not to think about that. I took a deep breath and tossed the towel aside, trying to pretend like it wasn't a big deal.

I heard a sharp inhale from behind me and I flushed. "Um … sorry, I know this is a little awkward …" I mumbled.

I carefully wrapped the bandage around my front, careful not to twist my upper body, knowing that I might expose the curve of my breasts if I did. I handed it back to Gaara under my arm and told him to wrap it back around the end that he was holding, to help keep it up.

He wrapped the strip around my back and I lifted my arm, holding my other hand across my body, ready to grab the bandage from him. He gingerly handed it to me, under my arm, and I wrapped it around the front again. On the third pass we discovered that it was better for me to reach further back, almost under my armpit, to grab the roll of gauze, because when he had reached forward to hand me the roll, the side of his hand brushed the side of my breast, making us both jump. I flushed about a hundred different shades of red and tried very hard not to get dizzy from the abrupt rush of blood to my head.

After a tense few passes we gingerly began to settle into the pattern of repeated motions. Soon we had established a slow steady rhythm and it ceased to be quite so awkward, the two of us relaxing somewhat. We wrapped the bandage around to below the wound and then Gaara tucked in the ends in the back to make it secure.

After securing the largest wound, he rinsed out the rag again and carefully cleaned the gashes on my arm. He repeated the whole process, only this time the wrapping of the bandage was much easier.

When we were done I thanked him and then turned around to put on my shirt. The bandages provided enough coverage that I wasn't too embarrassed facing him again. His eyes traveled down my chest, over the bandages, and down my stomach, which made me very self-conscious.

He caught a glimpse of the scared Kanji above my hip, and frowned, cocking his head to the side. "What is that?"

I sucked in a breath and swiftly put my shirt on, covering the dreadful mark quickly. Thankfully I didn't think he had seen very much of it.

"Just another scar. I've got lots." I shrugged, making it out to be no big deal. I blew him off, not wanting to talk about it, that scar was much worse than the little pockmarked, glass scars.

 **Author's Note:**

Hope you enjoyed it! We're coming up to some pretty intense scenes so hold on to your hats!

 **Music:**

 **Panning the Sands by Patrick O'Hearn** (Falling Asleep)

 **Never Back Down by Two Steps From Hell** (Kankuro And Temari)

Love & Loss by Two Steps From Hell (Tense Shower)

 **Love Lost** **by Mattia Cupelli** (Mirror Scene)

 **Gods Bound By Rules by** **Keiichi Okabe & Kakeru Ishihama & Keigo Hoashi & Takafumi Nishimura** (Mirror Scene – not Gaara POV)

 **Birth of a Pure Soul by** **Stefano Mocini** (Mirror Scene)

 **Once We Were Angels by** **Stefano Mocini** (Mirror Scene)

 **A Journey's End by Peter Gundry** (Bandage Scene)


	29. Chapter 29

I healed quickly, my wounds scabbing over and my bruises fading. After a couple of weeks or so I was ready to get back in shape. I felt the need to train, to exercise after my hiatus and being sedentary, so I went to the training grounds. Interestingly enough, I ran into Gaara on the training fields, and I figured he must be feeling the same way as me.

Most people were still nervous around him, not as scared as before but still definitely stand-offish so he had the training fields all to himself. Which was kind of nifty, because that meant I had bunches of room to work with as well. So I joined him, both of us doing our own separate training.

I was experimenting with wind chakra and forming various weapons, such as wind blades, and trying to figure out how to recreate some sort of lance that I could throw, when I was rudely interrupted. Out of nowhere I was suddenly in the middle of an unexpected sand shower, seemingly a buckets-worth of sand having just been dumped over my head.

I sputtered, spitting sand out of my mouth and shook my head to dispel the remnants from my hair. Knowing who the culprit must be I glared over my shoulder at Gaara, who was training about ten feet away from me.

He was in the middle of manipulating his sand, sending thick ribbons of the sediment to lift huge rocks out of the ground and high into the air where he would drop and catch them again before they hit the ground, really taxing his control over the sand and working on his speed and reflexes. I huffed, supposing that he must have accidently sent a spray my way and hadn't even noticed, so I simply turned back to my wind lance.

I was essentially doing the same thing as my wind blade, forcing so much chakra into the wind that it sharpened, but I was trying to extent it a little, making the tip longer and sharper.

I didn't get very far because a glob of sand smacked me in the back of my head, exploding and sending sand everywhere, even forcing its way down the back of my shirt this time. I yelped, and hopped up and down a little, trying to get all the sand out of my shirt. It was downright uncomfortable and started sticking to my sweaty skin, making it itch.

I gave up on trying to shake all the sand out, now that it was stuck to me, and turned fully to glare at Gaara again, sure that it must have been intentional this time. I stared, bemused as he continued training, seeming oblivious. I was growing highly suspicious, never knowing him to lose control of even an ounce of his sand, so how was it that several buckets worth had randomly been sent my way? It couldn't be a coincidence.

I squinted my eyes and slowly turned back around, silently vowing that if I had one more uncalled for sand bath I would get him back. It didn't take long before I was shaking sand out of my hair and shirt again, having had another mass of sand smack me. I didn't turn around this time, but instead closed my eyes and infused some of my chakra into the wind. I sent it above my head, using my senses to locate Gaara behind me, and carefully directed it towards him.

I used a good amount of force and blew the wind directly at him, throwing in a little spiral to make a mini cyclone around him, blowing dirt and sand into his face and completely making him lose focus.

His rock fell to the ground with a "kurthunk" as he shielded his face from the wind, his sand whipping around and probably only making things worse. I stopped the cyclone less than a minute later, not wanting to torture him _too_ much. He spat out the dirt particles in his mouth and rubbed his eyes. He sent a slanty eyed look over his shoulder at me that was both annoyed and amused.

I had a brief impression of his hand flicking up and barely a second to mutter "oh shit" knowing that I had some sand coming my way from somewhere. A large amount swatted me on the lower back and butt. Forcing me forward a few stumbling steps. I huffed and then laughed, "Oh you've done it now Gaara! Challenge accepted!"

I assumed a battle stance, facing him. I wiggled my fingers at him in the universal, "bring it on" gesture. He smirked and crossed his arms, which actually was his battle stance, a lazy posture and crossed arms. I had seen it so many times now that I recognized it immediately.

I leapt forward, forcing chakra to my feet and using my Telaria Jutsu right out of the gate, darting towards him at impossible speeds. He sent a wave of sand in front of him, creating a shield. I simply ran up the wall of sand, feeling it trying to grab my feet, but I kept it off with the wind beneath the soles of my feet that I was using for my speedy flight. The sand curled up on either side of me, boxing me in. I shoved my palms out sideways, sending wind out on either side of me to shove the sand back, but it was persistent.

I leapt over the sand wall a moment before the sand grabbed me, and found myself much higher than I had expected.

"Oh shit!" I barely had enough time to activate one of my newer jutsus, one that was still incomplete and had quite a few kinks left to iron out. I suppose I could have just sent out a gust of wind to cushion my fall, but I was feeling like making a bit of a bang. I formed the hand sign I had designed, pulling my wind chakra to my back. It was difficult because I had to force it into a specific pattern, overlapping sheets of wind to get the right lift. It used so much of my chakra that the wings sprouting from my back were tinted a light blue, and crackled almost like that Uchiha kid's Chidori.

It activated barely seconds from impact, exploding from my back with the sound like a clap of thunder and enough force that a huge dust cloud was blown into the air, knocking Gaara back a good few paces. I had a brief impression of his huge eyes and shocked face, before he cocooned himself in his sand shield to protect himself from the vast backlash of wind.

This was one of the kinks I had been trying to smooth out, the power behind the activation tended to knock anyone within 50 feet of me onto their asses. That would make it very difficult to use around comrades in a battle situation. But it did make for a pretty dramatic flair, which I couldn't help but be a little smug at.

Well, this was technically training, as unexpected as this sparring match had been, and it would help me to work on this particular jutsu. I just hoped it lasted long enough and didn't fizzle out as it sometimes did, leaving me to somehow catch myself from falling.

After the dust had settled, Gaara's shield cracked like and egg and sifted to the ground around him, in that bad ass way of his. I shifted the wind a tad, hovering a few inches from the ground, and now that the initial blast had subsided my chakra wings only kicked up a little dust.

I smirked at Gaara, who still looked a little shocked, his eyes flickering over the crackling wings sprouting gracefully from my back. He quickly composed his expression back to his normal blank slate, one non-existent brow cocked a little. His stance shifted and he jabbed one arm forwards into the air, sending out a stream of sand in front of him, a stream that he gracefully jumped on, appearing to surf on the sand as it rose through the air. It was certainly more impressive than his usual sand platform that he usually rode, this stream of sand constantly shifting. He crossed his arms and gracefully held his balance atop the ribbon of undulating sand, using mostly his legs and hips to stay upright instead of his arms like a normal person. It almost looked like he was riding on a huge flying snake, which gave me an idea.

I filed away my idea to tell Gaara later, since now was not the time for talking. I wanted to try out this new jutsu of mine, and it typically didn't last too long, yet another kink. I had never used it in a battle situation, so I wanted to see how well I could keep it together while also having to block an opponent's attacks, since it took a huge amount of concentration on my part to keep the wings together and operating smoothly.

I flew close to him, blocking his sand with a gust of wind, which gave me an idea. I would need to train harder to try and gain more mobility of my wings, because it would be nice if I could use them to block without losing altitude. But trying it now would be stupid.

It was a true exercise to have to shift this way and that, my manipulation of the air currents in and around my wings having to be finely tuned to make the quick adjustments needed to dodge his speedy attacks. I was still a little clumsy, and took a few blasts of sand to the face for my trouble. But I still managed to get close enough to Gaara for hand to hand combat, which was my goal.

I threw a punch which he dodged, but only barely, his Taijutsu still not his strong suite. I taunted him, "You know you kind of suck when it comes to throwing punches Gaara." _Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I ever have seen him do any sort of physical attack. Interesting._

Intrigued, my new goal became to try and make him actually attempt to punch me. This close, the brisk wind from my wings was throwing off his sand just a little, making it easier for me to keep it off with a wind shield.

I threw another punch, aiming for his jaw, while also throwing a low punch aimed for his gut. I also threw in a little wind chakra, to try and force my way through the sand that I knew would block my punches. Sure enough, my fists hit solid sand, but by upping the power behind the wind blanketing my fists, I was able to disperse some of it.

I was still fighting his sand, not him. I felt my Wing Jutsu flicker and dropped alarmingly, managing to slow myself before I hit the ground, and then my wings shattered. This was where the other big problem came in. I quickly yelled, "Use your shield!" grateful to see Gaara respond quickly. A second after my wings shattered, there was a gap in space left behind, the intense chakra that had been there suddenly dispersed in an explosion, sending wind and sparks in every direction.

 _Whoops._

Well, it still wasn't finished, so a few explosions were expected.

After the destruction had subsided Gaara descended in his sand bubble and once again emerged, this time with a somewhat bemused expression. "Does it always do that?" he inquired.

"Um … yeah usually, I'm still working on that." I chuckled slightly embarrassed.

 **End of Chapter 29**

 **Author's Note:**

There's only one song for this chapter because I decided to stick with the one song I listened to on repeat while writing the chapter. I don't know why, but I just got into one of those I LOVE THIS SONG moments. It seemed to fit. Anyways, hope you liked the new chapter!

 **Music:**

 **Shatter Me by Lindsey Sterling (** on loop)


	30. Chapter 30

After sparring, we left the training grounds to get washed up.

Walking together, the sand was starting to really bug me, it was all over my body, under my clothes and still stuck to my sweaty skin. So as we were walking, him back to his house, me back to mine, I stuck my hand up my shirt in the back, trying to brush off the sand. It required a certain amount of contorting and cussing to brush off most of the annoying shit, the commotion drawing Gaara's eyes to me.

He watched in amusement as I squirmed around, even throwing a little hop in every now and then for good measure. The hopping probably didn't help, but for some reason it felt like it should. Our pace slowed down considerably to accommodate my nonsense.

After brushing off as much of the offending sediment from my back as possible, I shifted to my front, which also had a fine coating of sand caked onto my skin. The discomfort was enough that I failed to feel any embarrassment whatsoever as I hike up my shirt to get under it properly, exposing most of my sandy stomach to Gaara's amused gaze.

I wasn't really thinking about him at the moment, aside from mentally cussing him and his sand out of course. Actually at this point I had done some of it verbally, which only seemed to amuse Gaara even further, judging by the smirk creeping up his face. Of course that only pissed me off more, and I'm sad to say that I might have flicked him off.

He chuckled. I noted from my peripheral vision that his gaze seemed to be slowly going down my form. _He's probably gloating at his handy work,_ I thought sourly, aware of the redness of my skin from the brisk rub down and impromptu exfoliation. And there was still sand visibly stuck to me despite my best efforts.

I was so ticked off that I barely noticed when Gaara stopped walking, although it was abruptly brought to my attention when I was also suddenly stopped in my tracks. I glanced back, feeling the unexpected tug on my shirt and noted Gaara's fist bunched in the fabric. He yanked me back almost roughly, causing a few choice curses to slip out of my mouth unnoticed. "What the … Gaara! What the hell are you doing?"

He remained silent, not even looking at me. Not my face anyways.

He was staring with an intensity that immediately drained the anger from my soul. I had never seen him that focused before, his jade eyes like trained lasers. I followed his gaze down to find his eyes centered unerringly on the scar above my hip, the one that said "hated" with jagged cut lines. The scar had remained harsh against my skin, staying an ugly shade of purplish red despite being healed for many years.

I inhaled sharply at discovering the focus of his stare, abruptly panicking, not wanting him to see that, much less stare at it the way he was now, like he was trying to memorize it. I grabbed his hand, trying to force it to let me go, but his grip was too strong and I couldn't budge it.

"Dammit, let go Gaara!" I shoved his chest, giving up on his hand, trying to just force his whole body away from me now. Again, he didn't budge. It seemed almost as though he had turned to immovable stone. His face was frozen, his eyes blank, it didn't even look like he was breathing.

Finally, after endless moments he shifted, "What … made that mark?" His voice came out deep, and so rough that it almost didn't sound like his voice.

I shuddered, not liking to think about it, much less talk about it. "I don't want to talk about it." I muttered, turning my face away from him, and covering the mark with my hand, not liking this new chain of events.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand off the scar, his grip over my leather wrist guards almost painfully tight. "Tell me!" he demanded, his voice a low growl.

I flinched, jerking my wrist but not loosening his grip any. I gritted my teeth and stayed silent, refusing to speak.

"…please…" he whispered, the tone completely opposite to his previous, no longer demanding but begging. His voice cracked. I had made up my mind not to talk about it, but I was forced to change my mind at the anguish and desperate confusion that tainted that one softly spoken word. My eyes flew to his face, shocked. He looked broken, his eyes wide and unfocused, glazed over. I took a shuddering breath, my conviction shattering.

"…a knife …" my voice was so soft even I couldn't hear it. I cleared my throat and tried again, speaking a little louder, but it still came out along the lines of a whisper. "It was a knife. A stupid little switchblade." I chuckled, the harsh sound distinctly sarcastic. I mocked my younger self for being beaten by such a weak weapon.

It was part of the reason why I had pushed myself so hard to become strong, the overwhelming desire to be able to protect myself, to never again be helpless and at the mercy of someone else.

Gaara's breath was coming alarmingly quickly, his eyes flickering a little, as though he was seeing something I couldn't. He looked a little insane. "Tell me … tell me how it happened …" He was back to demanding, but his voice was still so broken that it sounded like a plea.

Well, I had already started, so I might as well finish. The whole story fell out of me with the speed and alarmity of verbal vomit. "It was a long time ago. There were some children that didn't like me very much." The memory of those days made me shudder. "We were all street rats, orphans with nowhere to go. They hated me. It was pretty common for them to beat me up, it happened on a regular basis. That night they caught me in an alley, in the old part of town. I managed to piss the leader off more than usual." I chuckled dryly, then shuddered remembering what happened next in vivid detail. I had dreamt about it enough to keep it fresh in my mind. "He told me … he said that he would make it so that I would never forget that I wasn't wanted by anyone." I paused to swallow the bile rising dangerously in my throat. "That's why he wrote what he wrote, so that I would know for the rest of my life that I was hated." I closed my eyes, hearing his voice in my head, still taunting me.

Gaara's voice came from behind me, rough and dark, pitched low, "What happened then?" I hadn't heard him sound so affected by anything in a long time, it reminded me of when he was still psychopathic. Well, maybe when he was fighting Seimei, but this sounded even more like the old Gaara.

I took a deep cleansing breath, trying to shove the awful memories under the very worn rug in my mind. "Well, then I spit in his face."

I felt Gaara twitch, and I chuckled darkly, still treasuring that bastard's expression of shock when my spittle had hit his face. Then I sighed, "Of course that didn't improve the situation. He lost his marbles at that point; I don't remember exactly what happened. I just know that he beat the shit out of me."

"And what happened to this … boy." Gaara inquired, the level of danger present in his voice scaring even me a little. When I chanced a glance back at him I kind of wished I hadn't. His eyes gleamed with a murderous intent.

I gulped, averting my eyes, his dark aura making me uncomfortable. "um …well he's dead. The person that saved me killed him."

Some of his deadly aura dispersed and his next words were spoken much less harshly, but with another kind of emotion, "And who was this person that saved you?"

I inhaled a shaky breath, not sure what to say. His eyes rose to meet my own, for the first time since this whole crazy conversation started. His gaze searched mine, seeking an answer to his question.

 *** Gaara POV***

Her eyes wavered, and she swallowed thickly, but didn't answer the question that he most desperately wanted answered.

When he had seen her scar, he had suddenly seen it fresh, as it must have looked right after being carved into her skin. He knew, somehow, the way the blood had dried and broken around the harsh jagged lines, the exact way her skin had been ripped open by that dull blade she spoke of.

Gaara had desperately wanted to know why. Why did he have this information? And so he had asked her, how had it been made. As she told him her story he had felt rage, the kind of which he hadn't felt in a long time, even when fighting Seimei, as bad as that had been. He had wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch, and he pictured crushing him with his sand, an imaginative daydream that he had refused to allow himself to indulge in for a long time. And yet as he had pictured it, again there was some strange sensation, and he saw how it looked. He saw the alleyway she had described; he saw a mass of bodies, a young boy beating the shit out of a young girl. And he saw himself kill the boy, drag him and his two comrades off the girl and crush the three of them with his sand.

She remained infuriatingly quiet, a fine tremor running though her body. There was a strange pain in his chest that bloomed to life as he saw her amethyst eyes glow with building moisture. She turned her face to the side, averting her eyes from his, biting her lip, and a single tear made its way down her cheek slowly.

Desperate to know … the sensation of important information just out of his reach driving him mad, he forcefully pulled forth the vision, the strange information stirring faint memories, things so deeply buried he had forgotten their existence. He went back to that alleyway in his mind, walking towards the young girl. She pushed herself unsteadily from the ground, leaving behind a dark stain of blood, and walked towards him, staggering and stumbling her way across the dark alleyway.

Gaara strained his mind, trying to see her face. She reached her thin hand out to him, touching his cheek with her tiny fingers. And then she was in the moonlight, and he could finally see her face. The blurriness faded away, a pair of beautiful moonlit amethyst eyes rising meeting his.

 *** Ren POV***

 _I can't do this … not again._ I thought desperately, the emotional strain of being forced to remember the past, of being forced to acknowledge what I had lost draining my strength.

Gaara abruptly let me go, releasing his hold on both my wrist and shirt, and I experienced a brief rush of relief. And then his hands gently grabbed my face and turned it towards him. I flinched and closed my eyes, not expecting the contact. The warm calloused feel of his skin against mine made me tremble, unsure how to feel about it aside from utterly shocked. Nevertheless, I stubbornly refused to open my eyes. I didn't want to look at him, and somehow I felt that closing my eyes was guarding my fragile emotions.

"Look at me." His voice had changed again, still rougher than usual, but softer now, gentler. I inhaled sharply, drawn towards that voice against my will, and unable to keep my eyes closed.

My gaze met his, and he gasped, looking at me like he had never seen me before. And then he blinked, several times in quick succession. I had never seen him blink this much, ever.

His eyes shone, the seafoam color brighter than I had ever seen it, caused by the glimmering tears that slowly built in his eyes now, a few escaping his dark lids to slide down his cheeks. There were only a few, but I had never seen a single tear in his eye before, and I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me.

 _What the hell is going on?_

 ***Gaara POV***

As Gaara stared into her amethyst eyes, exactly the same, more memories flooded back. He now knew they weren't just random visions, they were memories. Memories of her.

He remembered caring for her wounds, as she lay trustingly encased in his sand, the first person unafraid of his powers, even grateful for them. He remembered leaving her that night, only to come back the next day, to find her collapsed on the floor of her horrible house, consumed by fever. He remembered the fear, running back to Yashamaru. He remembered bringing her back to his house, caring for her wounds while she was passed out, and even more amazingly remembered her actively letting him care for her wounds. She had let him heal her, touch her with his hand that had killed just the night before and heal her with it. She had asked him to stay with her, she had sought his protection. She had been comforted by his presence instead of terrified by it. As the memories flooded his mind, emotions that he hadn't thought himself capable of flooded his chest. His heart hurt, it squeezed painfully in his chest, but not in the same way that it had back then, this time it hurt because it felt too full instead of too empty.

And then her tears filtered back into Gaara's consciousness. He had hurt her. She had given him this amazing kindness, the medicine he had needed to heal his broken heart so long ago, and in return he had broken hers. He had somehow blocked all the memories of his childhood, after Yashamaru's betrayal all he had known was anger and pain, and to defend himself he had hidden away all good memories. He had forgotten everything.

How had he forgotten the person most precious to him?

 ***Ren POV***

Gaara's face went through a myriad of emotions, a few tears were still silently sliding down his cheeks, and his beautiful eyes were wide and glowing. I felt his fingers tremble against my cheeks. He blinked rapidly, a few more tears squeezed out of his eyes from the movement, again startling me with the oddity. I stared into his light green almost blue eyes, for once able to hold his intense gaze without embarrassment as I silently willed him to remember, unable to bear the thought of losing my best friend forever.

But unfortunately, I knew he probably never would remember, the traumas of his childhood having long overshadowed the happy memories and burying them in some deep dark place in the recesses of his mind. I had thought that I had resigned myself to him never remembering me, to never remember how deep our bond had been, but recounting my memories to him had only showed me how deep that empty space in my heart was.

Strangely though, I was also terrified of his remembering the past, afraid that it would change our current friendship. As children, we had formed a bond so deep, a tie formed between two children that had known very little love and were both starving for it, it had truly felt like we were kindred spirits, soul mates almost. Due to that bond, I had exposed myself in ways I never would be able to with anyone now. I had been vulnerable with him, shown him all my fears, and he had done the same. I had felt that our souls were connected, and while I grieved the loss of that connection, sometimes feeling as though parts of my heart were missing, I was also afraid, petrified almost at his remembrance of it. At this point in my life, having so many more barriers erected to protect myself, barely allowing anyone close to my heart, the idea of having Gaara know me that deeply now, I didn't know how to feel about it.

On the one hand I desperately wanted that bond again, to have Gaara back in my life in that way, on the other hand I was afraid of it, of being that vulnerable with someone again, of baring my soul to him like that. Of course I had no way of controlling the situation, there wasn't any way to prevent him from remembering, or to force him to remember.

A shuddering sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes once again with sadness, knowing I would never be able to decide. There was a long pause as Gaara gently held my face in his hands and I stood there with my eyes closed. Both of us almost in our own little worlds.

That illusion was shattered by two words "…I remember."

 **End Chapter 30**

 **Author's Note**

Woohoo! I hope you enjoyed the long awaited chapter! I'll post the next post haste.

 **Music List**

 **Boy Like You by Ke$ha ft Ashley Tisdale** (sandy skin  & Ren's irritation)

 **I Don't Care by Apocalyptica** (Gaara sees her scar)

 **My Demons by Starset** (Ren tells Gaara the story)

 **Farewell Life by Nights Amore & Arn Andersson** (Gaara POV: "Her eyes wavered")

 **Shards of My Soul by Hannes Johansson** (Gaara POV: "her amethyst eyes, exactly the same")

 **Dawn by Arn Andersson** (Ren POV to end)

Btw, when I put in a quote after the song that's about where I picture the song starting, in terms of a soundtrack, and then it goes until I indicate the next song.


	31. Chapter 31

My world went blank. For a few seconds I knew nothing, purely numb with shock, and then my head exploded into confusion. My mind became a mess of, "Holy shit!" **"WHAT!?"** "Glory halleluiah!" and _"…huh…?"_

It felt like the apocalypse was taking place in my brain, with flooding and fire and brimstone, complete with angels and demons battling to the death, and strangely also like a picnic with rainbows and unicorns. The whole sensation made me feel like marbles were leaking out of my ears at an alarming rate and bouncing off into oblivion.

Some strange choking noise came from my throat and my eyes snapped open to gaze into his, shocked beyond anything I had ever known before. His eyes were as wide as mine, and just as confused and frightened and sad and happy and everything else. I was left limp and probably would have simply fallen over if he hadn't been holding my head. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't move or speak. I simply didn't know what to do at ALL.

He was freaked out, I was freaked out, it was just freaky.

He still had tears running down his face. I gulped, because this was definitely not what I had expected. Ever. In the whole world of possibilities, this was one of the last things I would have predicted would happen at this particular moment in time. I had made my peace with it, so now what was I supposed to do?

I was terrified, elated, but terrified, and extremely vulnerable, which was embarrassing. I hated feeling vulnerable. This was exactly the sort of situation that frightened me the most, and that I tried to avoid.

I was trembling, and we just stood there and stared at each other, not moving, barely breathing, just paralyzed by him remembering and by me knowing he had just remembered.

It was a good thing we were relatively close to my apartment by now, because the first thought that came to mind that wasn't along the lines of, "HOLY SHIT!" was that this was one conversation I wanted to have in the privacy of my own space, not out in the open for everyone to see like this.

"Um let's go inside… this is too… this is… I'm not comfortable talking about this outside." I whispered, my voice shaking as hard as my body.

He nodded and gently removed his hands from my face. We awkwardly walked to my apartment and I speedily let us in, locking the door behind me.

I knew that his now knowing didn't automatically bring my best friend back to me. That person had been long gone for years, I already knew that.

I decided to make us some tea, which gave me something to do. But perhaps that wasn't such a good idea, which I quickly discovered by nearly dropping the cups, spilling some tea on myself. It was quite hot. I cussed colorfully.

And suddenly Gaara was there. He gently took the cups from my hands and grabbed my wrist, leading me to the sink. Once in front of the sink he slid his palm up from my wrist to my hand and turned it so the red part was under the cool water that he had turned on. It was so sweet, and I found the normal happy, fuzzy responses happening in some odd little corner of my overwhelmed brain.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't entirely comfortable with him holding my hand right now.

And I was trembling again.

After a long awkward moment, he let me go and we ended up sitting down across from each other at my kitchen table. I was trying not to cry, so I gripped my hands together and stared down that them while I chewed on my lip. I was simply not sure what to feel at the moment, hurt that he forgotten in the first place, afraid that he had now remembered, afraid that our friendship would change, afraid of so many things in general about this situation, and yet happy, frighteningly happy that he had remembered.

I just didn't know what to say, so after a long pause that's what I told him. "Gaara…I just…I don't…I don't really know what to say at the moment…"

We sat there, the silence thick with unspoken emotion. Neither one of us was sure what to do now, everything had changed. I sat, looking at my hands, noticing absentmindedly that they were still trembling. My mind was a mess, my emotions all over the place. Fear, anger, confusion, hurt, happiness, they all swirled around inside me, all speaking at the same time and making a cacophonous racket where none of them were comprehensible. My heart pounded in my chest, my eyes watered, and my muscles shook.

After an immeasurable amount of time, my emotions somewhat calmed down. They were still tumultuous but had quieted down to the point that I could think again, at least a little. As soon as I could think somewhat rationally, questions started to burn in my mind, questions that had eaten away at me for so long.

"Why?" I whispered, still looking down at my hands. I felt more than saw his head come up as he looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "What happened? What made you disappear?" My voice shook, thick with suppressed pain from being abandoned.

There was a long pause, and eventually I looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since he had made his declaration. For once his normally blank stare was full of emotion, the light turquoise glittering brightly with moisture. He blinked and sighed, the sound an expression of so many emotions I couldn't even begin to guess at them.

His eyes closed, and for a long moment he sat there silently contemplating. When they opened again, his eyes had changed. They had gone cold, no longer expressing any sort of emotion and his face had frozen once again into an impassive mask. He had sealed away his emotions once again, putting up all his walls, protecting himself from whatever he was going to tell me.

He turned his head away to look at the wall. "I was told to love only myself, to only live for myself." He murmured finally. Even his voice sounded numb, hollow.

I blinked, not expecting that response. When he didn't continue I prompted him, "Who told you that?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know, and I knew I was pushing him, but I _had_ to know.

He paused for a long moment, "Yashamaru … After he tried to kill me." I gasped, rocking back in my chair, horrified.

"What?!" I wheezed.

"It was the Kazekage's orders." He said it with a certain tone, sarcastic, that told me that there was more to that statement than just the obvious.

 _Wait! Wasn't the Kazekage Gaara's father?_

"You mean your father …. ?!"

"Yes." The one word held loathing, his cold voice echoing with suppressed rage. Despite this he maintained his calm composure, the emotion only in his voice, and subtle even there.

"But Yashamaru … he loved you, I know he did. He was always so kind …" I mumbled, not necessarily addressing Gaara so much as myself and my shock at this information. Nonetheless Gaara's head swung around to give me a narrow eyed gaze.

He pinned me to my seat with that stare, so blank it felt like it sucked out the air from the room. I could sense a world of fury and pain was hidden underneath that careful mirror, the eyes cold and formal, masking everything.

"No. He didn't." The deep finality to his tone broached no argument and I sat frozen in place. He refused to blink, his penetrating glare too intense to look away from. "He hated me for killing his sister. And she hated me as well."

 _His uncle, his mother, his father, they couldn't have all hated him. It's impossible. No. No!_ The pain was too great to contemplate. I took a shuddering breath and felt a rising surge of pain, only a mere echo of what Gaara must have felt, but I hurt for him, for that young child that had been broken by someone that should have protected him. "Why would you say that …?" I whispered, my voice trembling.

He blinked slowly, the sight nearly as unnerving as his unblinking stare. "He told me so." He said, his voice dull, lifeless. "He told me that I was never loved."

The final blow was too much, the words had been chosen to intentionally hurt Gaara, to cause unimaginable pain. My whole body shook with tremors, an empathy to the pain he must have felt running through my own emotional system.

Fury slowly burned to life inside of me, noting the obvious lie, and the cruel deceit behind the words. I was appalled.

"That is not true!" I yelled and leapt out of my chair, now standing in front of Gaara, my frame still faintly trembling from the shock of the revelation. "I loved you!"

It took me a minute to realize what I had said. _And I thought this was awkward before. Oops._

I blanched, swallowing thickly and attempted to resume the breathing that had momentarily stuck in my throat. I was in shock, not having expected something like that to pop out of my mouth. _Where the hell did that come from anyway?_ I mean it was true, I had loved him when we were children, but I certainly hadn't meant to say it.

I somewhat numbly observed Gaara's response, my higher brain functions having momentarily shut down. For a moment his expression remained that strange blank mask and then my words seemed to reach him, and it immediately shattered. His breath hissed as he sucked it in between his teeth sharply, his lips parted, and his eyes ever so slowly widened until I could see the white all the way around the sea foam green.

A visible tremor ran through his muscles and he leaned forward, his wide shocked gaze fixed to my face. "What did you say?" The voice that had previously been so cold now shook with emotion, his tone deeper and rougher.

I gulped, still uncomprehending of this particular situation that I had put myself in. Yes, I did love him when we were children, I still loved him. He had been my first, and my only true close friend. I had put up so many walls, defended my heart so thoroughly after losing him, that no-one had managed to get close enough to truly be considered a close friend. And despite his nasty attitude when we had been reunited after all those years, despite the death threats and aggressive nature, I had still loved him then, even if I also kind of hated him. Getting to know him again had proven to be a challenge, his walls as high as my own now, neither one of us particularly trusting anymore. We hadn't gotten along, but eventually, especially after Naruto had talked some sense into him, we had been able to form some sort of friendship, a new bond.

I still loved him, I still loved my childhood friend who I had never stopped loving, but I had also started loving him as my new friend, forming a new bond with him that I couldn't fully comprehend. It was all so complicated, and emotions of this sort terrified me, the memory of having my heart stolen from me still harsh and sharp.

Sure I had said 'I _loved_ you' but even admitting that much to him was terrifying, expressing any sort of emotion was like handing a little piece of yourself to someone else. It made me feel vulnerable, a sensation that I quickly realized was extremely uncomfortable and frightening. Being vulnerable was too close to being helpless. Or being weak.

Swamped with nerves and not at all sure how to proceed, after all I didn't want to hurt him. I looked off to the side, unable to meet his intense searching eyes. I shivered and stuttered, "w-well … I uh …" I licked suddenly dry lips and took one step back, trying to gather up some courage. I swallowed thickly, "… when we were children … we… you were …" I licked my lips again, took a deep breath, and met his eyes again.

After another shuddering breath, I continued, my voice soft, "You … you were my whole world." He took a sharp breath, and blinked, leaning back in his chair again, utterly stunned.

I swallowed thickly, a few tears escaping down my cheeks. I glanced to the side again, feeling very emotionally unstable, and looking into his eyes made the whole situation that much more intense. My heart was pounding out of my chest, the sound beating loudly in my ears. I hugged myself and tried to keep it together, uncontrollable fine tremors shivering through me constantly.

"You were my world…" I repeated, "I was an orphan and no-one loved me, no-one even liked me." I shuddered, reliving my past twice in one day was really too much for my poor nerves. The tears thickened, though I barely noticed them.

Suddenly I choked on a harsh laugh, the sound shocking both of us. I looked back at Gaara, "I'm trash remember? People hate trash …" another broken sound came out of my chest, deep and guttural, something between a mocking laugh and a sob.

I noted his shell-shocked expression, his bright eyes wide and unblinking, his lips parted on quick breaths, his body shivering and tensed in his chair. The scar on my hip throbbed, as if I was suddenly hyperaware of the skin there, the message carved into my flesh hurting. I winced and closed my eyes, the darkness flooding back to me, remembering those days always took its toll.

Sighing deeply I continued, "I had no-one … until you saved me, that night in the alleyway." My eyes opened, taking in his rapt expression. "You were …everything I had always wanted …and you …you seemed to really care …and I … I just …" I sobbed and then yelled, "Of course I loved you!" Gaara flinched. I repeated a little softer this time, my voice shaking, "of course I loved you …how could I not?"

We stared into each other's eyes for several minutes, neither one of us saying anything, simply processing our own emotions. Eventually it all became too much for me, I was overwhelmed and looked away. Shaken by the intensity of the emotions running through my body, I backed away, and leaned against the wall, my arms cradling my torso and my head bowed.

I heard Gaara slowly standing from his chair and take a few steps towards me, his normally silent stride exchanged for a slightly louder version, as if he was shuffling his sandals on purpose to alert me to his presence.

I flinched when his deep gravelly voice sounded directly in front of me, closer than I had expected. "You loved me?" There was a deep longing in his voice, it sounded as if he was begging me for something. For confirmation that I had actually said what I said.

I slowly raised my head, noting how close he was standing, my emotions so wrung out that now I was a little dazed and numb. I stared at his chest, my brain felt a little fuzzy and absentmindedly I noticed that he had grown just a little taller than me since the last time he had been this close.

 ***Gaara POV***

Gaara stood, watching her tremble as she seemed to cave in on herself. She slowly raised her head at his spoken question, her eyes stopping around his chin, their normally vibrant amethyst dulled, tears streaking her cheeks. He swallowed, feeling things he had never felt before and didn't know how to name them. He wanted to comfort her, to stop her from crying, but he had no idea how to.

Struck by the most powerful urge to touch her, he tentatively reached out his hand, intending to force her to meet his gaze, unable to bear the way her glazed eyes were staring mindlessly over his shoulder. Very gently he cupped her cheek with his palm as he had earlier, hooking his little finger under her chin so that he could pull her head up to meet his. The skin to skin contact still felt foreign to his hand. Only rarely allowing others to touch his skin meant the sensation was … different, but not unpleasant. He found that he quite enjoyed the way her smooth cheek caressed the skin on his palm, in fact he liked it so much that it made him nervous and he swallowed hard.

 ***Ren POV***

The sensation of his skin actually touching mine, for the second time that day, knocked me for a loop. The first time I had written off as a fluke, but even so, it had shocked me then too. Gaara never touched anyone voluntarily, ever. And the few times I had touched him, aside from when he had been unconscious, 99 percent had been with sand roughening his skin. This time, the skin of his palm was warm and calloused, but not coarse with sand.

I gasped, unprepared for contact this intimate when my emotions were so crazy. My eyes met his, and I immediately realized that our faces were disturbingly close to one another and Gaara was still holding my cheek. I twitched, my eyes widening. The desire to put more space between us was unexpectedly contradicted by the desire to close that gap, confusing and disturbing me even further.

I didn't understand anything at all about this. Suppressing all my emotions had its drawbacks. For example, it became very difficult to name exactly what I was feeling and was hard to pinpoint exactly what I wanted.

I gazed into his eyes, helpless to do anything else, particularly with his finger hooked under my chin as it was. Those pale turquoise eyes, intensified by the coal black rimming the edges, felt as if they were x-raying me and could see my very soul. His eyes were beautiful, and unnerving, and staring into them for so long at such close proximity had me feeling dizzy. He seemed to be looking for something in my eyes, perhaps some sort of evidence to what I had told him. The intensity of his stare was difficult to bear, and I felt overwhelmed, wanting to look away, but strangely not. It felt like I could drown in his eyes, the longer I looked into them, and the sensation was not altogether unpleasant.

A shuddering sigh escaped my throat and it felt like my body finally relaxed, the shivering of my muscles subsiding. I felt mesmerized, almost peaceful, simply gazing into each his eyes like this. There were strange tensions in the air and fluttering in my stomach, somehow related to his proximity, but somehow I simply tuned all of that out.

After an immeasurable amount of time, Gaara seemed to come back to his senses and took a deep breath, slowly stepping away while his hand gently released my face and dropped to his side. He blinked several times, looking as dazed as I felt.

"I should probably go …" he uttered softly, his voice a bit rough.

I sucked in some breath and nodded, feeling off balance and unsure about everything. He blinked at me again and then turned to the door, letting himself out.

After the door closed I slowly sank down to the ground, sliding down the wall I was still leaning against. My head dropped back against the wall and I thunked it several times for good measure, wondering what the hell just happened.

 **End Chapter 31**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Phew, wow what a chapter. Man this was super intense to write, and like the last one, I kind of teared up while writing it.

By the way, there's this awesome AMV video on Youtube with Naruto and Gaara, and a song called Rescue Me, that is absolutely fantastic. While writing the chapter originally, I listened to that song on loop. The music playlist is what I put together while I edited it the second time around. I would totally recommend checking out that youtube video, it's really good. It's called AMV Naruto and Gaara - Rescue Me and it's by Nikolett Jó.

 **Music List:**

 **End of an Era by Tom Player** (the apocalypse and a picnic)

 **Requiem for a Dawn by Rob Oxenbridge ft. Juliet Lyons** (Ren's Apartment)

 **Legions of Doom by Audiomachine** (Gaara answers Ren's question)

 **Pluto Reborn by James Paget** (Ren realizes what she said)

 **Dark Hero by Silver Screen** ("I'm trash remember?")

 **Lift the Atmosphere by Jeremiah Pena ft. Juliet Lyons** ("You loved me?")


	32. Chapter 32

**Kankuro & Temari POV**

Kankuro and Temari were having dinner, eating some baked lizards tongue from a food stall relatively close to their house. Neither one spoke, but they were both thinking the same thing, _where's Gaara?_ He kept odd hours for sure, but recently he had seemed to always come to dinner on time, perhaps considering it important family time.

Despite still not being very sociable, there were now times they could count on him being present. Although, even when he was present, he still didn't say much or add much to the conversation. At first, when he had started to seek out their company more, Kankuro and Temari had found it uncomfortable to include Gaara in their conversations, unused to him socializing with them at all, but after a while they had learned to accept his calm, quiet presence, oddly finding it soothing. Unless he was in a foul mood, but that was rare these days.

He was very late and both Kankuro and Temari were growing concerned, trading worried glances at each other every so often. They relaxed from their unconsciously tense positions when they heard the door open and shut, announcing their younger sibling's arrival.

"Hey Gaara what took you so long?!" Kankuro bellowed, never one for beating around the bush, "We've got lizards tongue, it's not as spicy as you like it but it's still pretty good!"

There was only silence responding.

Kankuro and Temari looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Usually he at least grunted to show he had heard.

"Gaara?!" Temari called, trying to get something from the taciturn redhead.

Again there was no response, but they saw his shadow crossing the hall, heading toward the staircase and upstairs towards his bedroom. They looked at each other again and rose from the table, following behind, intent on discovering the source of his sudden funk. They headed up to the second floor and then scaled the second curved staircase to the spacious attic that Gaara had converted into his bedroom.

He had claimed it as his when he had arrived at the age of five, after the whole Shukaku rampage incident. He hadn't said anything, but one day Temari and Kankuro had found the small bedroom that had been given to him empty and everything from the attic in the process of being forcibly removed.

There were three bedrooms in the upstairs along a curved hallway. There was a banister on the other side of the hall so you could see down into the first floor. At the end of the hallway was another door that led to a secondary staircase that curved around the wall to get to the attic at the very top of the house.

All manner of items that had been stored in the attic had been strewn across both stairways, even falling down into the downstairs. As Kankuro and Temari had watched aghast several boxes had been hurled down the attic stairs, out the door way and bounced over the rail to plummet down to the first floor below, casually tossed by streams of sand. It had been terrifying at the time, but now as Kankuro remembered it, he chuckled in amusement. The two concerned siblings scaled the narrow staircase up to the attic door and knocked.

There was no response.

They knocked again.

Still no response.

This prompted Kankuro to pound on the door, and never really being a very patient sort of person, he yelled, "Gaara open up! If you don't, I'll break down this door!"

That finally got a response. "Suite yourself." They heard Gaara rumble from somewhere in his room.

"Huh?" Kankuro looked bemused for a moment, then shrugged and kicked the door down.

"Kankuro!" Temari scolded, unamused by his antics.

"What? He said …"

"Oh never mind" she sighed exasperated, more interested in Gaara than arguing with Kankuro.

 ***Gaara POV***

Gaara rolled his head slightly to the side and slid his eyes towards the door, not moving from his position on the bed. He lay flat on his back diagonally across the bed with one knee bent, the other hanging off the edge, his arms behind his head as he contemplated what had just happened. He was utterly exhausted, not even having the energy to open the door.

He was mildly irritated by Kankuro actually breaking down his door, his eyes half lidded as he sent a semi-stern glare Kankuro's way. His siblings stalled in the doorway, taking in his lax position, more relaxed than they had ever seen him. Of course he only appeared relaxed, the truth was that his stomach muscles were beginning to cramp from the tension running through his body.

He was utterly confused, his emotions scattered all over the place. He hadn't been this out of control since deciding to suppress all his rage and murderous compulsions. Not that he was feeling particularly murderous at the moment.

"… uh … Gaara? You doin' okay?" That was Kankuro, his voice gruff and unsure.

Gaara chuckled deep in his chest, the sound rumbling through the room. Both Kankuro and Temari took a step back, familiar with the sound. He hadn't intended for it to sound menacing, but with his voice as roughened as it had been from the emotional turmoil of the day it had come out deeper than he meant for it to. He normally avoided the sound, considering that it typically was taken the wrong way, since in the past the sound had been reserved for very specific moments. Moments of bloodlust and terror that no-one remembered with fondness.

"…right." Kankuro exhaled, laughing shakily.

"What's wrong Gaara?" Temari asked, concerned.

"Nothing is wrong." Gaara responded, sighing. Nothing except having to sort through the chaos in his head.

"…okay …well if you want to come and have some dinner it'll be in the fridge okay?" Temari said, while pulling Kankuro back down the stairs.

Once they had left Gaara lazily lifted one hand, the cork in his gourd popping out in response. He flicked his fingers at the door and several strands of sand flew through the air, picking up the door and fitting it back into place, more sand picking up the hinges and screws and placing everything back where it should be. After his door had been fixed he sent the sand back into his gourd, fitting the cork back into its hole snugly.

He settled back into the bed, tucking his arm back under his head and contemplating the hole in the ceiling, through which he could see the red streaked sky and wisps of sand blowing by in the wind. The day had been absurd. Starting with an unexpected sparring match with Ren, which he had started, it had quickly spiraled out of control. The glimpse of a remembered scar had sent him back to his past, remembering things that had been long buried.

Remembering Ren, the precious friend that he had somehow forgotten, had shaken him to his core. The shock from recovering all those lost memories still had him spinning, making Gaara feel amazingly dizzy in his own head. He couldn't believe that he had ever forgotten her kindness, how she had pulled him out of the darkness and brightened his heart for those too-few months, before he had been plunged into darkness so black that everything had been lost.

Gaara was utterly confused, the remembered emotions surfacing for the first time in years, startling him with their intensity. He didn't know how to feel anymore, he couldn't put names to half of the things he was feeling. The memories filled him with warmth, bringing comfort into his soul and filling him with peace and happiness. As he remembered Ren, how they had become so close, sharing all their fears and loneliness and healing each other, his heart squeezed, thumping hard in his chest in a strange and disconcerting way.

The comfort that the memories brought contradicted the guilt that he felt at forgetting them. He had seen the pain in her eyes, the longing and the fear, and knew that he was the cause. Just thinking about those few tears that had spilled over her lashes made him feel nauseous. He understood her fear, the stark terror that had dilated her pupils until her purple eyes were black, and then contracted to pinpoints when he told her that he remembered. He felt the same sort of fear, afraid that he had irreparably changed their current relationship.

He cherished all his friendships, having so few of them. He longed to be precious to other people, ever since Naruto had taught him the importance of friendships and bonds. All of his bonds he cherished, family bonds with his siblings, the bond of teacher and student with Matsuri, the bonds of comradeship he was starting to form within the General Forces, even his previous teacher Baki had a special bond with him.

And then there was Ren, who he didn't quite know how to classify anymore.

Before this whole incident with remembering his past, he had considered her a close friend, really his only friend aside from his siblings. Now that he realized how deep their bond went … he wasn't sure what she was to him. All he knew was that she had now become the most cherished person in his life, and he wasn't really sure how to acclimate to the abrupt change.

In her apartment, when she told him that she had loved him, it had felt like his entire world shattered, and then reformed, brighter than before. It was as if a dark veil had been lifted from his eyes and he truly was able to see color for the first time. The sensation was like none he had ever experienced before; the only other thing that had been this life changing was when Naruto had beaten some sense into him.

But he had no idea how to relate to her now. He was no longer the child that had loved her so deeply and completely, who had formed a bond so deep that it felt as if she had become a part of him. Neither of them were children any more, neither of them were able to trust and love so blindly as they had been back then. They had both changed so much, he was a different person entirely, although he knew now that there were still some parts of him leftover from that time, feelings that had resurfaced from remembering. Yet he knew that though his memories were now restored, they couldn't be the way they had been before.

In some place, deep inside of himself, he longed for them to be able to simply start again where they had left off so long ago, he longed for that deep bond again, the soul to soul connection that they had forged so long ago. He ached for it, with a painful throbbing in his chest that made it difficult to breath. But he knew that those ties had been severed long ago, their new bonds were much weaker than the old, and he was afraid he had weakened them even further by upsetting the balance of their relationship.

He had been so overwhelmed, his head a chaotic mess. All he had known at the time was an intense desire to be closer to her, to touch her, to hold her, to comfort her. When she had cried, all he had wanted to do was embrace her, something that he had never wanted to do before in his entire life. Physical contact typically disturbed him, to the point where he had grown to truly hate it, but now he longed for it, with her. This new feeling, it was so strange that it upset him, and he felt so awkward.

Somewhere, hidden deep inside him, he had secretly hungered for touch, to be shown physical affection like everyone else. Sometimes he felt so cold, he wished for another's body heat. Sometimes he felt as if he was starving, or dehydrated, and that the touch of another was like sustenance. These feelings were buried underneath the fear of being touched, the loathing and the hatred from the fear, and eventually became too conflicting.

Standing there, holding her face in his hand, all he had wanted to do was close the space between them, to get even closer to her if possible, needing more physical contact. He hadn't known how to though. The desire had frightened him with its guttural strength, and eventually he had grown uncomfortable, embarrassed, realizing that he had invaded her personal space for far too long and he had excused himself. Thinking back on it, he felt his face grow warm, which was a very strange sensation for him. To his knowledge he had never blushed before, but he supposed that he must be now.

Now he just felt discomfort, and he didn't think he could be in her presence until he had sorted through some of the shit clogging up his brain.

 **End Chapter 32**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hope everyone enjoyed Gaara's POV. Sorry it took me so long to update, I planned to update sooner, but I was writing the rough draft of a later chapter and my computer decided to do a stupid update and I lost half the chapter :( so I've been busy rewriting that.

 **Music List:**

 **Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace** (Temari & Kankuro)

 **Carneval of Rust by Poets of the Fall** (Gaara POV)

 **Gomenasai by t.A.T.u** (Gaara remembering Ren, feeling guilty about forgetting her)

BTW, is the music list something I should continue? I enjoy doing it, but I don't know if it does anything for anyone.


	33. Chapter 33

I cursed at the sun when I emerged from my building, feeling like it was particularly bright and offensive this morning. Normally the heat and vibrancy didn't bother me too much, but I hadn't slept well last night, again. The dreams were making it impossible, ever since that evening a week ago.

Over and over, every night I dreamt of Gaara, leaving, disappearing, and vanishing from before me. I always ran after him, searching, hunting in the blackness of my dream, desperately trying to find him. There was always darkness, and loneliness, and fear, always glass to tear my skin, and blood, and cramped alleyways, and a voice in my head telling me I was trash. I supposed they were simply brought on by my fears that we had somehow broken our new friendship, by him remembering the past.

My jaw popped on a huge yawn as I hopped from roof to roof, heading towards the building where I was supposed to meet Baki for my new mission information, having been summoned only a little while ago. The yawn unbalanced me for a moment, nearly causing me to miss my next roof, and I skidded across the sandstone rooftop. "Well fuck it all … this is just perfect" I groaned as I inspected my skinned knee, the fabric of my pants torn a little.

I sighed and continued, not having time to go and grab a new pair. Baki hated it when I arrived late, so I tried very hard not to. Finally I was in the blessed shade from the building and I walked into the room where Baki always assigned us new missions.

When I rounded the corner I came to a dead halt, feeling an unsettling urge to tiptoe back down the hallway and hope they hadn't seen me, but I knew that would be stupid. Baki had already spotted me and gave me a good hard "well hurry up!" kind of glare from his one eye. I sighed and trudged over to where he and the redhead I had been trying avoid were standing. Naturally Gaara would be on this mission, of course. Here I had been trying to avoid him, and I ended up on a mission with him instead. Wonderful.

I joined them, standing next to, but avoiding eye contact with Gaara, still feeling incredibly awkward around him. The whole embarrassing episode ran through my mind in flash forward mode making me wince and flush. I still couldn't believe that I had let myself go that far, let my emotions run away from me. I had even cried! _Of all the stupid, humiliating …._

I tuned back in to what Baki was saying, realizing that it was probably important. "…there, you will hunt down a rogue ninja who has murdered several of the women, by completely draining them of chakra. He targets women with high levels of chakra, which is why you have been assigned this mission Ren. The plan is for you to lure him out, at which point Gaara will neutralize him. He went rogue from the Village Hidden in the Stones, and they have requested he be brought back, dead or alive. The mission will be completed once you have arranged for his shipment back to the village."

"So Ren will be used as bait?" Gaara rumbled from next to me, sounding very unhappy with the prospect.

"Yes. That will be the easiest method for finding him. He has proven to be very difficult to find according to the reports." Baki countered, meeting Gaara's challenging glare with his own, booking no objections.

Gaara made some odd noise deep in his chest, something between a growl and a huff, and turned away, disappearing in a swirl of sand.

Baki sighed. "You will leave within the hour."

I nodded, and left, heading towards my apartment. As soon as I left the building I heard a distinct whoosh and felt some sand abrade the skin on my left side. Without looking to my left I asked Gaara, "So why did you disappear like that?" I glanced towards him out of the corner of my eye when it took him a long time to respond.

Finally after a few moments he said tensely, "I didn't feel that it would be… _prudent_."

I caught the threat behind the words, particularly since he had practically growled the word 'prudent.' I was surprised by just how bothered he was by me being bait; it was a common tactic after all. "What's wrong? It's a perfectly reasonable plan."

Some deep sound came out of him again in response, expressing his displeasure. Scoffing at his bad attitude, I elbowed him in the side, slanting my eyes his way to catch his shocked expression. He actually stumbled a little, not having expected the sudden blow, though his sand did stop me.

He shot me an offended look, his non-brows scrunched over his slanted eyes and his lips compressed. I snorted, "Oh lighten up Gaara! After all you'll be there to protect me! What's there to worry about?" I chuckled, not realizing the impact my words had on him as he tripped over nothing.

For a few moments we walked in companionable silence. _This isn't so bad._ _Maybe if we just act as if nothing happened, everything will be okay._ I decided right then and there to never mention the incident, and to work hard on suppressing the whole thing, just pretend that it was a dream or something. I was good at denial after all.

After a while he said he would catch up to me and disappeared with another spiral of sand. I huffed, "Well he does have his dramatic entrance and exit down pat, gotta give him that." I continued to my apartment.

Only a few minutes later Gaara reappeared beside me, with a few pouches strapped on to his lower belt and a bag slung across his back next to his gourd. "That was fast …" I commented.

He just "hm"ed in typical Gaara fashion and continued accompanying me in silence. We arrived at my apartment shortly thereafter and suddenly I felt extremely awkward, remembering the last time we had gone up to my apartment together. Trying to pretend as if there wasn't anything different, I invited him in.

"If you'll excuse me I need to go switch these out for ones that aren't bloody." I gestured to my knee, which was in fact quite sticky now.

Gaara's eyes widened as he took in the sight and he hissed. "What happened?"

"I'd rather not discuss it." I responded stiffly, embarrassed. He blinked, surprised, and then his eyes drifted off to the side.

"As you wish," he responded, his voice formal, and I realized that I had hurt his feelings.

I sighed, knowing that I would have felt the same way. "It's just embarrassing Gaara. That's all. I was stupid and skinned my knee." I shrugged.

His eyes turned back to me, "I see." I noted the way his shoulders relaxed a little and he no longer seemed formal the way he was before. Good.

I quickly rounded up another pair of pants and changed in the bathroom. When I returned, Gaara was slowly rounding the room, gazing at the various knickknacks and pictures I had around on the walls and few shelves. It wasn't much. He paused and I glanced at what he was looking so intently at, curious. He was staring at the small sandstone cat he had given me so long ago, and I swallowed a lump in my throat, abruptly pretending that I hadn't noticed.

"So you ready to go?" He turned to me at the sound of my voice. The pouches on my belt were secured; all I had left was to put on my armor and weapons.

"…yes…" He murmured, sounding distracted, his eyes following my hands as I efficiently did up all the straps and laces on my wrist guards and arm braces.

Next I reached for one strap full of shurikens and put one foot up on a convenient chair, making it easier to get to my thigh. The white cloth skirt that covered the front and backs of my legs fell to the side, allowing me easy access. It was the reason I wore the skirt in the first place, to give a little more modesty over the skintight black pants that I preferred, while still having easy access to my shuriken straps.

I deftly slapped the strap over my thigh, it was a rather heavy strap given the full load of metal shurikens loaded into the holsters, so it made a loud ' **crack** ' when it slapped around my thigh. I had found it to be the easiest and fastest method to get it around my leg because the other end whipped around and I could catch it and snap the two ends together in one fluid movement. I always did it this way in case I ever did actually need to arm myself in a few seconds. When dealing with this many sharp points, I needed to be well practiced, already having a nice assortment of scars from the years of use.

The loud ' **crack** ' made Gaara jump and I glanced up at him, grinning in amusement. It was rare to have the ability to surprise him, so doing it always gave me a thrill. His eyes halfway closed and he gave me a long once over, his head tilted back so he could look down his nose at me. He was unimpressed. I just chuckled.

I grabbed my thin short sword sheath and slid it underneath the shuriken strap, hooking it at the top so it wouldn't slide out. Then I did the other side the same way, the whole process only taking about a minute. After both sheaths were secure I grabbed my swords and slid them in. Aware that Gaara was watching me. I felt a little flushed, unused to his constant stare fixed on my body in this way. I assumed that he was taking note of my arsenal, filing it away for future reference.

The only thing left was to put on my breastplate and I grabbed it off the table and fitted it to my front, grumbling as I tried to situate it properly. My breasts had recently grown again, now making my breast plate fit oddly, the leather unused to having to conform around them.

Giving up on fitting it comfortably, I slung the straps over my shoulders and grabbed the dangling ends, pulling them around to attach on the sides of the leather covering my front. I got one side, but when I pulled the other one around it didn't want to attach, the piece of leather having scooted over a few inches to accommodate the other side being attached and pulled over my chest.

I cussed at the stupid thing, fussing with it, abruptly reminded by the whole frustrating ordeal that I had meant to go and get it adjusted at the end of my last mission, which had only been a few weeks ago, but already the problem had gotten worse. I had to pull the plate and the strap tight to get them close enough to close, squeezing my breasts uncomfortably, which were still quite sensitive and sore from their recent growth spurt. The problem was that any time I got close to either the plate or the strap one or the other would slip out of my fingers, or the few time I almost had it I fumbled the clasp and the strap whipped back across my back, stinging.

It was incredibly frustrating for your body to seemingly randomly grow without your permission, leaving you to have to get new clothes and equipment at the most inconvenient times.

 _Having breasts is supposed to be a good thing right?_ But at the moment they were getting in the way, and were seriously pissing me off, causing a near constant stream of cursing under my breath and between clenched teeth. "For the love of … goddam …what is the fucking purpose of these things? … Crap … Ow! Shit, get your ass back here … oh for fucks sake … will you just close already … stupid piece of shit … goddam-it-all … fucking breasts, who needs them anyway?" I alternated between cussing at the breastplate and at my breasts, so pissed that I had forgotten Gaara was still in the room.

"Do you require assistance?" The gravelly voice shocked me out of my battle with the uncooperative piece of leather and I froze, my face immediately turning bright red and I ever so slowly turned to look in his direction. His face gave away nothing, and in my panic I ran through all the things I had said, hoping that I had said them quietly enough that he hadn't heard them … otherwise …

 _Oh hell …que the awkward moment … wonderful._

I swallowed hard, and gave him a wobbly grin.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara stood for a while, arms crossed, bemused. Ren appeared to be fighting to attach one of the straps to her breastplate, but wasn't succeeding.

He had watched her put her straps around her thighs, being somewhat mesmerized by the display of practiced ease with which she handled her equipment, and also strangely drawn to her legs. He still didn't really understand the heat that had crawled up his neck.

After the smoothness with which she had handled her other equipment, this fumbling seemed even more humorous than it normally would have been. She was in the process of cursing at the equipment, and strangely also her chest. Gaara didn't quite understand why her equipment seemed to suddenly not fit her.

Although, come to think of it, as he had grown taller he had noticed that the shoulders had been quite snug in his black shirts, so he had bought new clothes, though he still wore his white sash. The belts that held his gourd to his back had been adjustable with a few extra buckles.

Perhaps her shoulders had also gotten too broad. After a while he offered assistance and was startled by her immediately freezing in place and turning bright red. It appeared that he had somehow embarrassed her, but he wasn't sure how.

"Would you like me to help?" He offered again, when all she did was smile at him oddly. Receiving no answer he assumed that she did want help, and frankly had become somewhat eager to be on the way. It also gave him an excuse to touch her. He had quickly found that he now possessed a most annoying desire in the back of his mind, a constant need to be close to her, and even more than that, to touch her whenever possible.

He walked towards her, ignoring the way her eyes widened and she seemed to turn an even darker shade of red. He circled around to the side she had been having trouble with and grabbed the dangling strap with one hand and the plate with the other, the backs of his fingers lightly brushing against her ribs as he slid them behind the thick piece of leather. Her stomach muscles fluttered and then tensed at the touch of his fingers and he secretly reveled in the fascinating sensation, discovering a new deep seated and dangerous curiosity.

 ***Ren POV***

 _Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit_ was pretty much the only thing going through my mind at the moment, so shocked that all I could do was stand there and let him assist me. He came around my front and stopped beside me, pausing to look at the situation. After a second I felt the tug from the strap as he grabbed it from where it was hanging behind my elbow and then I sucked in a sharp breath as he slid the fingers of his other hand underneath my breastplate and gripped it.

My stomach muscles fluttered in a very strange way I had never experienced before, almost like a spaz attack of mini flinches. I grit my teeth and tensed my stomach, embarrassed; knowing he probably felt the odd phenomenon with his fingers. His knuckles pressed firmly into my side as he stretched the two sides to meet in the middle. I lifted my elbow out of the way. He had a much better angle than I had and was able to pull the sides together, latching the strap to the hook on the breastplate. I wheezed as the plate pressed my breasts flat and squeezed my ribs uncomfortably.

I could feel the straps biting into the flesh of my back, but I figured it would all stretch out after a while so I just gritted my teeth and left it. I turned to Gaara and smiled, doing my best to cover up my embarrassment with a bright grin. "Thanks Gaara!"

We left shortly after that silly nonsense and were able to make it to the village before nightfall and quickly made our way to the head of the village, following the directions Baki had given us. The leader of the small village was supposed to give us more detailed information about the ninja we were tracking, how he killed and such.

After being quickly and quietly ushered into a private audience room we were greeted by the village elder. "Welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for coming, we wish to be rid of this monster as soon as possible. Here, I have the files from the other villages he's attacked."

He handed us thick folders, and then sat across from us, steepling his fingers. "Before you look in those you should be made aware of certain information. First, this man is extremely dangerous. He has killed many woman, at least three in each village he's been to. What sets him apart from most killers though is the method by which he kills." He leaned forward and pinned us both with a serious look. "He sucks all their chakra out, leaving them to die from reaching absolute zero. It is unclear how he does this … however…" he paused, looking deeply disturbed, "Each woman was raped, and we believe this is linked somehow to the removal of their chakra."

I inhaled sharply, not expecting that. I had never dealt with this sort of thing before. Killers yes, but rapists? I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling nauseous, bile crawling up my throat. Gaara turned to look at me, his eyes hard and questioning, and I realized he didn't know what 'rape' meant. _Yay, another chance to teach Gaara fun things._ I sighed and imperceptibly shook my head, signaling that he shouldn't say anything. He blinked and turned back to our host.

"Please remove this monster! In fact, if he doesn't leave alive I will add a bonus to the award that the Village Hidden in the Stones has offered." I met his cold eyes and nodded, understanding the feeling. He finished by saying "These are your accommodations, everything has been taken care of." He handed us an address and ushered us out through a secret passageway. I tucked the address along with the folders into my bag and we left.

We looped around and then reentered the village. "Let's find our lodgings first, and then we can talk." I murmured. Gaara nodded.

The accommodations were easily found, turning out to be a single room in a rather nice inn. Unfortunately it was a 'family owned' inn, and that meant 'family friendly only,' meaning no hanky panky allowed. And that meant that two unmarried young people such as ourselves would be turned away most likely. When we attempted to check in to our single room accommodations, naturally the owner, who was also checking in guests, sent us a squinty glare.

She puffed out her chest, "I see that you have reservations for a single room, we have a strict policy against unmarried couples renting rooms together."

I blinked thinking fast. "Of course, I completely understand. There is no issue with us, since we _are_ married." I blushed, embarrassed at having to use the bluff.

She squinted at me, obviously trying to determine if I was telling the truth. "Are you now? You're awfully young to be married."

Gaara spoke up from behind me, startling me. "We're newlyweds. We've only been married a few weeks and decided to do some traveling to celebrate."

I was surprised by how smoothly the lie rolled of his tongue. I was even more surprised when he wrapped an arm around my waist, gently tugging me back and closer to him. I carefully masked my shock however, and forced myself to relax into the almost tender hold as if it was perfectly natural.

She seemed to contemplate us for a while but eventually I guess she accepted it. "Very well. My husband will show you to your room." She called out behind her up the stairs and an older, ruddy fellow trotted down the stairs. After exchanging a few brief words with his wife he grinned and gestured for us to follow him out the door in the back and down an open hallway beside a very nice little garden area.

"Well you two sure are young. Newlyweds are you?" We both nodded and he chortled, "Be sure to keep down the noise tonight. This is a family place and it wouldn't do to have anyone overhear anything indecent. I know that might be difficult with you two being so newly married, but you'll just have to restrain yourselves somewhat."

I flushed and gritted my teeth, unappreciative of the insinuation. The walk to the room was incredibly awkward thanks to the damn idiot and I decided I didn't like him very much at the moment.

We finally reached our room and I sighed after we had closed the door, relieved to be away from the knowing looks and not so subtle comments from the owner. After a moment of forcing down my embarrassment I decided to ignore the awkwardness I had felt and address the issue at hand.

I also ignored the glaringly obvious fact that this was a single room and a single bed. But of course Gaara wouldn't be sleeping so it shouldn't be an issue.

I sat down on the futon and motioned for Gaara to come and sit on the one opposite me. Once again, it was up to me to divulge uncomfortable information. "Gaara, you don't know what it means to rape do you?" I asked bluntly, not in the mood to skirt round the topic, just wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"No." He responded, his face blank, indicating that he had no idea what we were going to be talking about.

I sighed, steeling myself, "Alright. Look, I'm just going to get through this as quickly as possible, because it is not a pleasant topic." I eyeballed him, making sure he understood. He nodded, so I continued. "Generally, I guess 'to rape' means to force something upon another person without their consent, or I guess to take something from someone. But most of the time the word is specific to someone forcing sex on someone who doesn't want to have sex."

He blinked, slowly absorbing that information. His eyes widened and he looked very disturbed. "So this man has been … doing that?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"Exactly. You remember … uh … the explanation I gave you about how that all works?" He nodded, swallowing. "I said that it felt good. And it does, but for a woman she has to want it. From what I understand there are certain … ehm … changes that take place in her body to allow for … well _that_ …" I flushed, trying really hard not to think too hard about what I was currently trying to describe. As for Gaara, he looked maybe a little too interested, leaning forward a little and his gaze intensely focused. I cleared my throat, "But if she doesn't want it, sex can hurt. And in the case of rape, which is usually quite violent, it hurts a lot and can actually injure her pretty badly and make her bleed." I finished. Gaara leaned back and frowned, as he thought about what I said.

 ***Gaara POV***

Gaara was currently dealing with a good amount of disgust and anger at the thought of what Ren had just told him. The idea of doing that, forcing that action on someone else was simply appalling. From what she had told him before, that sort of thing generally happened between people as an action of affection, so the perversity of changing that into a violent act made him physically sick.

What made it all worse, was that he had already thought about it, not really knowing that it had a name. He had already realized early on that he probably would have done something like that, when he had still been a murderous psychopath, if he had been even remotely interested and had known about that sort of thing. Just thinking about the possibility made him nauseous.

 ***Ren POV***

Of course I'm unaware of his internal contemplations, simply focusing on the mission and trying to not let anything be awkward between us. I was still a little unbalanced from his memories returning, but I had determined to not let it affect our current friendship, mainly by not thinking about it. I had gotten pretty good at suppressing unwanted emotions by now, and had found that talent to be endlessly useful.

And then there was an awkward silence as Gaara digested what I told him. While he sat and thought about it, I determined that it didn't look like he would be going anywhere soon, so I started getting ready for bed. I took the straps off my thighs, carefully laying them on the table, slipped the kunai knives out of my knee-high sandal-boots before removing them, took the guards off my arms and shoulders, and then unstrapped my breastplate, breathing a deep sigh of relief as it released me. My poor breasts were now in a great deal of pain from being smooshed all day and I groaned softly as they throbbed in protest. I stretched out my sore muscles and stood, heading for the bathroom, oblivious of Gaara's gaze on my back.

After relieving myself and doing my nightly routine, I returned and decided to go ahead and turn in. "Hey Gaara?" His eyes slid to meet mine but he didn't move. "I know you were probably planning on going up on the roof tonight, but I don't think we should risk attracting any attention. Especially since we're supposed to be married." I snorted, rolling my eyes, trying to diffuse the embarrassment at saying that.

He blinked and thought for a moment, "I agree. Will you be uncomfortable with my presence in the room while you sleep?"

I swallowed, the question sounding more intimate than I would have thought and I flushed a little. "N-no, not at all. Uh, goodnight Gaara." I sat on the bed and reached over to turn out the light, then paused, "Would you prefer to leave the light on?"

"No, it's fine."

And so I turn out the lights, leaving us alone together in a dark bedroom.

 **End Chapter 33**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

A little of everything in this chapter, hope everyone enjoyed it! And it's extra-long too, woohoo!

 **Music List**

 **Castle of Glass by Linkin Park** (Ren wakes up on the wrong side of the bed)

 **Irresistible by Fall Out Boy**

 **Monsta by Culcha Candela** (Ren putting on her equipment)

 **Gangsta Sexy by Nightcore**

 **By Subconscious Design by Position Music: Danny Cocke** (on the mission)

 **Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift** (the married ruse)

 **Breathe by Two Steps From Hell** (explaining to Gaara)


	34. Chapter 34

_And so I turn out the lights, leaving us alone together in a dark bedroom._

I slept fitfully, finding it difficult to forget that Gaara was in the room with me. It was particularly difficult since the stupid owner had forced us to pretend to be a married couple, and then the other more perverted owner had come out and taken a look at us and had to make all those stupid innuendos.

I finally fell asleep and had very strange dreams, forgetting to put up my wind barrier.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara could definitely tell that Ren was uncomfortable, his eyes easily seeing in the dark and able to see her tense form under the covers on the bed. It took her about an hour before she seemed to relax and her breathing deepened, indicating she had finally drifted off to sleep.

He sighed, glad that she had been able to find sleep in this awkward situation.

He relaxed back into his seated position on the futon, closing his eyes and sinking into the meditative state that substituted for his sleep. He was disturbed from it when Ren began to move, his senses immediately waking back up to make sure she was okay. She hissed and then rolled onto her back abruptly. He blinked, wondering if she had woken up, but it appeared as if she was still asleep.

After a moment her body twisted and she rolled onto her other side, curling into a little ball and whimpering. He tensed, wondering if there was anything he could do to help. Thankfully she seemed to sort whatever it was out on her own and she relaxed back into the bed, her body going limp. He breathed out a sigh of relief.

He relaxed as well, about to go back into his meditative state, when she twitched, drawing his attention once more to her sleeping form. "…Gaara…" she sighed, and he jerked, wondering if she had woken up.

No, she was still definitely asleep, leaving him to wonder what in her dream had her saying his name. He assumed that he must have shown up in her subconsciousness and hoped he wasn't doing anything upsetting in her dreams.

She murmured his name at regular intervals throughout the night, at different frequencies, pitches, and volume. Sometimes it seemed as if she was calling out for him, or sounded sad, or perhaps surprised. Occasionally it sounded as if she was murmuring his name softly, almost tenderly. Every time she said his name something within him jumped to attention, making him feel very strangely.

After a while he found himself rumbling, a constant low sound, almost like a growl, but softer. At first it disturbed him a little, not really sure what sort of sound he was making, but eventually he just allowed it to happen, feeling strangely content. He felt very peaceful with her in the room, though also strangely tense.

The tenseness probably came from the odd, strong urge to join her on the bed and just be companionable, near her. He figured that would be completely unacceptable though, so he stayed put, simply contenting himself with being allowed to even be in the same room with her while she slept. It certainly showed a lot of trust, for her to be able to sleep with him so close.

The rolling thrum that continued to softly come from his chest must have disturbed her, because after a while she woke and called his name questioningly, "Gaara?" She sat up in bed a little, and he could see the reflection of her eyes as she blinked sleepily in his direction, showing that she was in fact awake and not just saying his name in her sleep again.

The thrumming sound stopped and he answered her spoken question. "Yes?"

"Were you making a sound just now?" She mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"…yes." he hesitantly responded, almost embarrassed at being caught at it.

"Oh, okay." She sighed and lay back down, seeming to fall back asleep.

After a moment he broke the silence. "Does it bother you?" he questioned, worried that he had disturbed her sleep.

"No, it's very soothing …" she mumbled, already half asleep.

He felt warmth bloom in his chest at the statement that he had somehow managed to do something to help her sleep, and soon the rumbling began again.

 **Ren POV**

When I woke the next morning, we both acted as if nothing had happened. Sleeping with Gaara in the room had been odd, but strangely comforting and I found that I hadn't had any nightmares, my dreams strange but not really frightening. Sometime during the night I had begun to hear some sort of strange deep noise, very softly. It had woken me after a while and I asked if Gaara had made the sound, and when he said yes, I immediately went back to sleep, actually finding the sound quite pleasant and soothing. Upon retrospect, I had a sneaky suspicion that he had actually been purring. But why he had been purring I had no idea at all.

After getting ready to go I sat down, pinning Gaara with a stare, figuring we needed to sort out our plan of attack. "Alright, so how are we going to set the trap?"

"What do you mean?" Gaara inquired, his light blue-green eyes immediately guarded.

"Well, how are we going to lure this guy out? Somehow I have to let him know that I've got lots of yummy Chakra so that he'll wanna … um … _do_ me." I snorted, amused by the situation, as well as disturbed.

Gaara's face abruptly became furious, "No! We will not be using you as bait!" he hissed, more expressive than usual, but having to keep his voice down so no one could overhear us.

I blinked, shocked, "Wait…What?! Gaara this is our mission, I was assigned to be the bait, you were assigned to be the hook and hatchet, so this is the way we're going to do it."

"There has to be another way … I do **not** want that, that _thing_ to get anywhere close to you …" he growled advancing threateningly.

 _Oops, I woke the beast. Shit._

I stood and put my hands out in a placating manner, "Woah calm down. Gaara, seriously…come on. We have to complete our mission." It didn't seem to work, Gaara's pale eyes glittering just as dangerously as before and a low rumble coming from his chest. But not the soothing purr from last night. This was a dangerous 'I'm pissed and want to kill something' growl.

He kept stalking towards me and my butt bumped into a table against the wall, having unconsciously backed up as Gaara advanced. Great, now I was trapped. _Okaaaay, this is getting a little uncomfortable…what the hell is wrong with Gaara anyway?_

I gulped, my stomach tightening with tension, nervousness making my muscles taut. I wasn't afraid Gaara was going to attack me or anything, but he seemed awfully unpredictable right now and appeared to be a pretty damn unreasonable. I couldn't imagine what in the world had gotten him so upset all of a sudden.

A deep growl raised the hairs on the back of my neck, and I swallowed thickly when I thought I saw one of his eyes flash gold. _Ummm, right…now what? Is Shukaku getting in on the action?_

"Very well, you want to complete the mission by luring him with your body? Despite knowing what kind of threat he poses?" He continued to stalk towards me, his gate distinctly predatory now.

I scootched my butt sideways along the table so I could get further away from him, "I can handle it." I said, scowling, as I inched my way along, a little offended that he thought I couldn't handle myself. I intentionally ignored the fact that my actions were at odds with the confidence in my voice.

Perhaps I said the wrong thing, but this time I definitely saw a flash of gold and black in his gaze, and that rumble kicked up a notch. "Oh you can handle it can you?" he growled, stalking closer and closer.

 _Uh oh. This isn't looking too good. Down boy._

I was definitely feeling a little worried now, almost afraid of Gaara and this strange new … _attitude_ of his. And there were also other, stranger emotions that made no sense given the circumstance, some sort of odd excitement that was making my blood sing. All _that_ did was make me more anxious, as a tension that I currently did my best to ignore ran through my body.

The table finally ended, so I could now get a little more space between us, but unfortunately, there was only so much space in the entire room, and I was on the wall away from the door. Not that running out the door would be the best idea right now, since it would probably do a really good job of blowing our cover.

I came up against the wall and Gaara closed in. "What is _wrong_ with you Gaara? What are you doing?" I asked, panicking a little.

He said nothing, but slammed his hands on the wall on either side of my head, effectively boxing me in. I flinched and jerked back against the wall, the back of my head thumping against the solid surface. He thrust his face into my personal space and pressed his whole body closer, aggressively. We weren't quite touching, but it was very close, I had to press myself as hard I could into the wall and suck in my breath to try and make myself as small as possible.

One of his hands came off the wall, only to hook me harshly under the jaw with his thumb, the heel of his palm pressed against my throat. His hand forced my face up, making sure that my wide, disturbed eyes met his narrowed, angry ones. He was so close our noses were just barely brushing against each other and I could feel his hot breath hitting me in the face. My pulse was pounding so hard it made me lightheaded, and I'm sure he could feel it with his hand being right there on my neck.

He stared hard into my frightened eyes. "You don't look like you're handling it very well," he said harshly.

I gasped, realizing that all of this had been to make a point. He wanted to physically show me what sort of situation I could potentially be in. I calmed down some from the panic, but not completely. It was difficult to ignore his warm hand on my neck or the way he was leaning into me, his eyes searching mine intensely.

I hissed, my eyes narrowing in irritation. _What the hell Gaara? Really? You had to actually go this far just to make a fucking point?_

"Now see here, you asshole! This shit was not necessary to go and make a goddam point!" I snarled, glaring at him and reaching up to grab his wrist, the one attached to the hand still holding my chin up.

His gleaming eyes narrowed dangerously, his temper not abating one little dot. "Really? Because you didn't seem to understand what you were getting yourself into."

I just barely managed to get my other arm up between us, bracing my forearm from my elbow to my wrist firmly against his chest as he pushed himself closer. If I hadn't blocked him the way I had I was pretty sure he would have actually pushed me up against the wall with his body, which was a huge breach of my personal bubble.

Despite my hand gripping his wrist he still managed to get his whole hand around my throat now, squeezing warningly.

 _Alright…That's enough._ "Gaara, you are seriously pushing it. Get yourself up and out of my personal space. Right now."

"Make me." He challenged, still unconvinced.

"As you wish…" I snarled, summoning my Wind Blade Jutsu to the forearm pressed against him. I torqued my upper body against the wall, using it as a brace to get some good force behind the arm sheathed in sharpened wind that I now violently sliced across his chest. I wasn't at all worried about hurting him, I could feel the graininess of the skin of his palm and I knew he had on his sand armor.

 _Smart guy._

I didn't put enough chakra or wind into the blade to cut through his armor, just enough to shove him back, and certainly enough that had he not been wearing the sand it would have easily killed him, making the point that I really could take care of myself, thank you very much.

I leaned against the wall, panting and glaring at Gaara, who was also panting and glaring. "Satisfied?" I asked, dispersing the wind from my arm.

After a moment he seemed to calm somewhat and I could see his sand sliding off his body and sifting back into his gourd. Despite not looking angry anymore his face was still tense. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, his voice rough and low.

I abruptly realized that behind the anger, he had simply been worried about me. Perhaps he had even intentionally tried to scare me off, not wanting me to put myself in that situation. I softened, the anger melting away. "It will be just fine Gaara. I'm strong. And remember, you're going to be there too and you're the strongest person I know. There's no way anything bad is going to happen."

 _Yeah, right … Famous last words._

It took a while for both of us to calm down, and even longer to convince Gaara that we really had to go ahead with the plan. Then figuring out exactly what to do took even more time, because he insisted on fighting me every step of the way, still opposed to the plan. I knew he was concerned about me and didn't want to put me in such a dangerous position, but really, the levels to which he went were beyond anything I would have expected.

Eventually, we finally decided on a plan and set out to make a spectacle of me, showing off my high chakra levels to try to attract our target. The plan was very simple. Go to a high traffic area. Pretend to get into a really bad argument, while I released a whole lot of chakra, hopefully luring Mister Pervert into the open. It was pretty safe to assume that he was a sensory type ninja, considering that he had only targeted high level chakra in his victims.

Once in the town square, we set about making a loud scene, continuing to play off the whole married ruse we had used at the hotel. Gaara started it by accusing me of cheating, loudly, to which I promptly, and loudly, denied. Then he called me a slut, which actually did tick me off a little, and so I slapped him across the cheek, which hurt me a lot more than it did him since the sand armor on his face was as hard as a rock. I began to release chakra into the air, not only to lure the guy, but also attaching sensory input into it, to try and find him first.

We continued in that vein for a while, attracting a small crowd as we traded insults. It wasn't too long before I sensed a very strong, incredibly strange charka signature coming our way. It felt like a big mishmash of a bunch of different chakra signatures all smushed together, and I could only assume that was because of the way he had amassed that much chakra, by stealing it from other people.

Once he was close enough, I signaled Gaara, and we wrapped up our little performance and left to see if he would follow. Even if he didn't I could still track him now that I had a lock on his chakra. Sure enough though, he followed.

I signaled Gaara and he left, leaving me "vulnerable," while I led my pursuer into a crappier part of the village, finding a nice alleyway that we could take him down in without risking hurting any of the villagers in the fight.

What I didn't expect, was for a smoke bomb to go off, completely filling the alleyway. _Damn, this isn't good._ Somewhere outside the fog I heard a roar and knew that Gaara was pissed. Actually, the sound of the roar concerned me, because it sounded a whole lot like Shukaku. I just hoped he hadn't somehow gotten loose.

I quickly summoned a wind to blow away the mist, but was too late, our target well practiced apparently at quickly disabling his victims. It was something we probably should have considered, the fact that he had taken down so many high leveled shinobi. A second smoke bomb went off, right under my feet, and this one I could immediately tell had something in it. Before I could summon enough of a wind to do much more than make a tiny den in the fog bank surrounding me, I felt darkness creeping into the edges of my vision, my body failing me as I collapsed.

"Shit."

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara lost it when he saw the smoke bomb, rage filling him at the thought that she would be taken right under his nose. Something inside of him snapped, his senses sharpening dangerously, and he could feel sand pouring out of his gourd.

A guttural sound tore out of his chest, forced out of his throat. It didn't sound human, the loud snarl closer to something the sand demon inside of him would be capable of making than his own vocal cords.

Inside his head he didn't even realize the voice of the demon was howling. He was so wrapped up in his own panic and rage that he didn't pay attention to the screech of _**HE WILL DIE!**_ That rang inside his skull.

There was a small disturbance in the fog, a ripple as if a breeze had been brought to life by Ren's jutsu. The disturbance became a hole but the hole closed as her jutsu was ended abruptly. He could see faintly, as the hole closed up, that someone was behind her, and then a different color smoke filled the gap, and he saw her fall to the ground, unconscious.

He roared again, the sound huge and thunderous, this time definitely containing the deeper notes of his own voice combined with the sharper, more aggressive, animal howl of Shukaku. _**"YOU BASTARD!"**_

He sent a wave of sand into the smoke, leaping in himself, riding a stream of sand just above the smoke's surface. Then he dispersed the sand throughout the foggy atmosphere, searching for her strictly through the sensorial feel of his sand. Quickly locating the ninja holding her, catching his footsteps as he exited the fog, Gaara swiftly directed his stream of sand that way, in hot pursuit.

The target must have used a transportation jutsu, because suddenly he disappeared from Gaara's sensory network of sand, causing a good amount of heated cussing to burst forth from the redhead.

He snarled and sent out a much wider web of sand, stretching it thinly and delicately for miles, but wasting precious time. After a moment of careful hunting he picked up the signature again, at the edge of the forest and he immediately transported himself to the location with his Sand Transportation Jutsu.

Chasing a sensory ninja turned out to be incredibly difficult, because he always knew when Gaara was approaching and did some very clever backtracking, and used various jutsus for traps and to create decoys that delayed Gaara considerably.

As he pushed himself to the considerable limits of both his chakra and physical capabilities, the only thought that kept running through his mind was that he had to get to Ren, to save her, and that he would kill this monster for daring to touch her.

 **End Chapter 33**

* * *

 **Author's Note**

"Oh shit!"

*ducks all the rotten food thrown a her*

"Trust me everyone!"

*ducks a watermelon lobbed at her head*

"I'm sorry! Really!"

Just hang in there with me folks, it's gonna be a rough ride for a little while, but totally worth it I promise!

 **Music List**

 **Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx** (Gaara watching Ren sleep)

 **Blade of Blood by Resonance Theory – Tom Player – Position Music** (Gaara is displeased)

 **Displacer by Position Music - Danny Cocke** (Gaara tests Ren)

 **Warlords by Audiomachine** (Gaara pushes Ren's personal bubble)

 **Starboard Victory by Natanel Arnson** (Ren realizes Gaara's just worried about her)

 **Iron Giant by Sub Pub Music** (Ren senses Mister Chakra Mish Mash in the crowd)


	35. Chapter 35

Blearily I opened my eyes, my head pounding. I groaned and tried to sit up, but quickly realized that that was physically impossible at the moment, and was immediately alert, if still somewhat confused. My wrists were above my head, held in the iron grip of some sort of cuff tied to the headboard of the bed that I was currently situated in. I growled, not at all liking the look of this.

As my mind slowly became less fuzzy, I remembered the mission and being knocked out with some sort of poisonous gas. I gulped, immediately scanning my surroundings for my abductor. For the moment at least, it appeared that I was alone in the tiny room. I had no idea where I was. There were no identifying markers, but somehow it felt like a shack of some sort. It sounded as though the wind was brushing against the other side of the walls directly, instead of some room inside another building.

I looked out the window and noted that not too much time had passed, the sunlight of a similar quality as before, unless I had slept through the entire day and it was tomorrow now, but I didn't think that was the case. I quickly tried to free myself from the cuffs, attempting to use some chakra to cut the links with a wind blade. Strangely nothing happened, and I realized that the cuffs must somehow be suppressing my chakra.

I was in deep shit, and it was during this realization that my captor entered the room. I glared at him, yanking at the restraints, giving up on sneaking out of them and just trying brute strength. The first thing I noticed about him was the fact that he was shirtless and had some sort of strange red tattoo that covered his entire stomach, disappearing beneath the waistband of his very low hung pants. It was pretty hard to miss. He chuckled and slowly walked over to me, looking at me with eyes that made me feel like I immediately needed to take a very hot, very thorough shower. Likewise the way he licked his lips disgusted me, to the point that I felt nauseous.

He eventually reached the end of the bed. I pulled my feet up, my legs tense. As he climbed on the bed I powered one leg up with the little chakra I could, the restraints still affecting my levels, even at my feet, and focused some wind to the bottom of my foot, and then jabbed it at him, landing a kick in the middle of his chest. He was sent flying across the room and smacked into the wall with a boom. He crumpled up and coughed, holding his chest.

When he finally got ahold of himself he looked up and glared at me, furious. I just glared right back. He was pretty strong, to have withstood a blow like that. He stood and stalked back to the bed, standing several feet away, watching me. This time he leapt on top of me, using the wall as a springboard, landing straddling my thighs. I grunted, the impact rather unpleasant, and then bucked, trying to toss him off. He just gripped me with his thighs and leaned down to wrap his fingers around my throat, squeezing until black started to creep in at the edges of my vision. I choked and writhed beneath him, his hand felt like it was crushing my esophagus.

When I had nearly passed out he released me and I gasped, coughing and wheezing, my throat on fire. As soon as he released my throat, my head dizzy and busy gasping for breath, he scooted down, sitting lower on my thighs now. I came back to my senses to the sensation of him pulling up my shirt. I panicked and writhed again, trying to kick him off, but failing, the angle too strange to get any purchase with my feet on the bed.

He reached over to a table near the foot of the bed and picked up a vial of some angry red liquid that looked as if it was bubbling, though not boiling, making me tense. I couldn't help but feel that whatever was in that bottle was probably bad news for me. He tipped the bottle over my stomach, and I hissed as the liquid hit my skin, burning like acid. He then made some complex foreign hand sign and slammed both palms down on my lower abdomen, hard enough that it felt like he gave me a bruise on my backbone. I yelled, coughing as my middle tried to contract, but the cuffs held my arms up and wouldn't let me bend over.

The jutsu hurt, not just the impact, but it suddenly felt like he had put a red hot brand on my skin, burning curly twisty lines into my skin. My nerves were seared, the sensation feeling very chemical as well, as though acid was eating into me, and strangely I could feel it affecting my chakra network, as though it was now attached. The absolute most disturbing thing about it was the way it traveled down, down my stomach, down my abdominal, down underneath the waistband of my pants and ended right where my thighs met. That was one area that was not meant to feel like I had acid poured on it. I snarled a few choice cuss words and yanked on the chains, really wanting to kill the smug bastard sitting on top of me.

After a moment of abject cussing, I glanced down, taking sullen note of the glowing red hot lines that were radiating across my abdomen and disappeared below my pants line. I noticed, at that point that the red glowing lines on my abdomen matched up with his, and realized that it must be some sort of jutsu, probably the one that allowed him to steal women's chakra by raping them. I would bet anything that that red tattoo of his went all the way down to his dick, and shuddered, appalled even more by his methodology now that I could see it firsthand.

He leered at me as I wheezed beneath him.

It took me a minute to catch my breath, the pain slowly dulling. None of it felt real, I couldn't believe that I had found myself in this situation, it felt like a bad dream. My higher thinking functions were working very slowly, crawling along, overtaken by panic and almost a strange numb sort of feeling, almost like this was happening to someone else.

 _Get it together damnit!_

I hissed in a breath, holding it and focusing on trying to think of a way out. I had to calm down, I had to think. _Think dammit think!_ I could feel my heart beating faster and faster, the uncomfortable pressure building and distracting me, and I started to feel lightheaded.

After he finished the jutsu, he left his hands on my stomach and then leaned in, pressing into me. My skin was already stinging and the pressure only aggravated the pain. He leaned down, crowding me, his face getting much too close to my own, all his weight on that one point on my stomach. I winced, tightening my muscles against his weight. He leered at me, knowing exactly what he was doing and enjoying my pain and discomfort.

He came in for a kiss and I jerked my head back into the bed. He chuckled and tried again. _Dumb move bastard._ I pulled my head back as far as I could and then slammed it forward. Hard. Smashing my forehead into his. It didn't feel particularly good. In fact it immediately gave me a rather nasty headache.

A head butt was normally not what I would call the ideal attack, since it hurt you as well as the person you were head-butting. And I head-butted him pretty damn hard based on the sudden ringing in my ears that I was personally experiencing. He came off me pretty quick though, so it was worth it. He reared back, shouting and holding his head in his hand. One of his eyes opened and glared at me through the spaces in his fingers, and I could see blood starting to slowly ooze down his hand. The sticky warmth on my own forehead told me I probably had the same thing going on above my eyebrows.

After sitting on my thighs for a few moments, holding his head and glaring at me, he suddenly lunged forward, grabbed my hair in one hand and holding me still, insuring that I wouldn't go for another head-butt. His face got all up close and personal again, I bared my teeth at him and hissed, beyond pissed off and into the territory of blind fury, stark terror, and instinct for self-preservation.

He bared his teeth right back, but again more in a leer. This guy was particularly fond of leering and I had decided that it was my least favorite of the human facial expression spectrum. He leaned in and started to place sloppy kisses over my cheek and down my neck. I yelled some sort of nonsensical noise of fury and disgust. What really pissed me off, aside from the factor of _**ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww**_ that I was currently experiencing, was the fact that there was really no purpose to the gesture aside from showing his dominance and that he could. He knew it would upset me and that was his intention. He got off on it, the sick freak.

I went from guttural noises of disgust to words, speaking for the first time in this situation, and I don't think I had ever addressed anyone upon introduction with quite this level of hostility before. "You SICK BASTARD! Get OFF me, damn …fuck it all. ASSHOLE!" and continued in a similar vein of constant profanity and anger.

If anything it appeared to amuse him even further, which I commented on loudly. "You think this is FUNNY?! You just wait, just wait until I get out of these chains, or until Gaara gets here, you will NOT be laughing when Gaara gets here, he will rip you a new one so big you'll be shitting out of the hole in your stomach. For FUCKS SAKE STOP … that is dis _GUST_ ing!"

He didn't seem to be paying much attention to my ranting and raving, and appeared to really be much more interested in doing several very unsavory things all at once. He had apparently worked himself up enough that he wanted to try getting really serious. He was a little clumsy in his excitement though, and between one of his hands still tangled in my hair for his own safety, and his own excitement it seemed to be difficult for him to really get everything together. I managed to untangle his hand from my hair, but his head was too far down now for me to head-butt him anyway. He sat up a little and one hand went up under my shirt, dragging my shirt up with it as it went, exposing the bandages that I wrapped around my chest as a breast support. It was just simpler, and did a really good job of supporting everything when in a fighting situation or any vigorous activity. Currently I was adding that it created an extra barrier and was a nuisance to potential rapists to my list of reasons why they were so beneficial.

He did get rather frustrated and started trying to unravel them, while simultaneously trying to pull my pants down, which was made difficult by my multiple tool belts and by the over skirt that I wore.

He finally got my belt undone and just bunched my skirt up around my hips, which I cussed him out thoroughly for, and then attempted to pull my pants down, but only got so far before he realized that I had straps on my thighs which were preventing them from going too far down my legs.

My throat was hoarse from screaming and yelling profanities, and I started to lose my voice altogether. Tears started to leak down the sides of my face, but I didn't notice them, I was a little too busy bucking, arching, cussing, hissing, growling, and generally doing anything that would make his mission of disrobing me as difficult as possible while simultaneously expressing my intense displeasure. It worked to some extent, he found it very difficult to undo my breast bindings while I was moving around so much and even harder to get my thigh straps off at the same time. Why he was doing both at the same time was a mystery to me, personally I thought he was stupid, but then again I hated his guts in general, so I thought he was a stupid, super goddam sick and twisted, idiot, jerkface, dumbass, asshole, motherfucking asshat with a tiny dick who probably couldn't find his own ass without a flashlight and both hands.

It was in the middle of this chaos that sand slowly started to trickle into the room, from around the cracks in the door and only window. I certainly didn't notice it, being that the quiet hissing sound was completely drowned out by my litany of cusswords, insults, and angry threats spoken in a voice that had lost any sort of sound, so it was more of a strange choking noise than anything else, barely understandable as human.

I turned my head to the side as he finally managed to work a few of his fingers under the binding right between my breasts and I swallowed the bile rising up my throat. There was too much and I dry heaved, my body convulsing in a whole body expression of the word _**NO**_. It was with my head turned towards the window, my eyes squeezed shut, when I felt something strange. A sensation both strange and familiar.

I felt it on my hand, something rough and grainy, delicately twining in between my fingers and across my palm, down to my wrist where it ever so gently wormed its way in between my skin and the metal cuff around my wrist. It formed a buffer to protect my already raw and bruised flesh underneath the metal restraint. I froze, going limp and looked up slowly to verify what I knew was the sensation of sand, the touch unmistakable. When I caught a glimpse of the golden sediment curling around my hand like a loving vine and making its way swiftly to the other to repeat the gesture, I sobbed, tears freely falling down my cheeks with my new knowledge and the relief and joy that came with it.

And then I started to laugh, very softly at first, it rose to an audible, nearly maniacal, cackle. Mr. Pervert on top of me paused and looked at me in consternation.

"You are so very dead …." I hoarsely whispered, my voice cracking terribly, but sounding utterly gleeful at the same time. His eyes widened in confusion and a little fear.

The door fell off its hinges with a bang.

The sand had pulled the pins out of the hinges, and it landed with a crash and his head turned to the door. He was crouched over me, having now worked his way in between my legs, my pants mostly off and now dangling from one ankle. He had only just managed to shove my legs apart and get between them. Thankfully I still had on my underwear. My shirt was up above my breasts, tucked under my armpits, his fingers still worming their way deeper underneath my breast bindings. His other hand was holding his weight up, still painfully pressed into that jutsu mark on my stomach.

So it was in this very compromising position that he now found himself facing one supremely pissed off red head.

I turned my head to look at Gaara, thinking he had never been so beautiful. He stood framed in the doorway, surrounded by glowing sand that was lit from the light of the sun behind him. His chest heaved from his heavy breathing. His eyes glowed with undisguised fury. A vicious snarl curled his lips, his teeth bared menacingly. His arms were out to his sides, his fingers curled tensely as he held the sand in check, coming in to the fight ready to kill.

I had never seen him so active in a fight right off the bat before. He always started a battle with his arms crossed, then when he needed to do more damage he would uncross them and direct the sand as needed, in graceful Taijutsu-type moves. That definitely shocked me, but even so, just the sight of him nearly had me sobbing in earnest, feeling so intensely happy that he was here. My entire body relaxed, and I almost passed out from sheer relief.

An oppressive dark aura filled the room. It almost felt like the room actually darkened, a chill creeping through the air as Gaara's fury was made physical in his deadly chakra that saturated the air. The sand broke the window behind us with a crash and flooded into the room from both directions, boiling slowly across the ground like lava.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER?!" Gaara roared, his voice containing hints of Shukaku's tone.

The rapist sat up abruptly. His hand got caught in the bandages around my chest, making him panic a little and yank on his arm rather harshly, causing the bandages to rope burn me in some very delicate places, I yelped. The temperature in the room dropped again, the sand roiling even more. Gaara snarled, deep and vicious, the element of _**animal**_ in the sound very audible this time and even made me flinch. The noise that issued from his throat was so instinctively **dangerous** that it made me react despite knowing it wasn't aimed at me.

The sand around my hands and coating my wrists worked down my arms in thin rivulets, quickly sliding across my chest and bare stomach. The ropes of sand interlaced over my skin and then reared up like so many coiled vipers, brutally lashing out at the man still sitting on me with cruel blows that left bleeding cuts over his chest, neck, face, and arms. He quickly leapt off me and took a stance, which wasn't the smartest move on his part, not that anything he did at this point would save him.

The sand on me stayed arched and tense, ready to guard me, should he come back. Thin ribbons continued down my body, eventually coating me in a full body armor made entirely of a fine network of sand. The strands continually moved, gently swirling over my skin searchingly as if to make sure I wasn't seriously injured, and hovered in the air above me, almost like a protective mother hen, if a hen could easily kill you with one blow.

Gaara crouched in the doorway, his body lithe and dangerous, and then he thrust forward one of his arms, his fingers tensed as he drew forth the sand. Some of the mass of boiling sand coating the ground rose into the air in many thin streams, then lashed at the guy in multiple attacks, whipping him across the face, the back, the sides, from all angles. The constant barrage prevented him from any sort of escape and he was reduced to simply taking the brutal punishment.

Sand began to ripple along Gaara's outstretched arm, the tan hide and signature blue lines taking hold as his hand became a huge clawed paw, one which he immediately sent slamming into the guy, smashing him into the wall and pinning him there. The sandy paw clenched and solidified, the rest of the arm breaking away and sliding off Gaara's body, freeing him but leaving the rapist pinned helpless to the wall.

Gaara stalked through the room, the sand whirling around him. Once he reached the now immobilized enemy, he paused standing there and glaring right into his eyes for a good minute as a deep growl built up in his chest. And then in a move faster and more unexpected than I had ever seen him use, he slammed his fist into the guy's face, his sand armor making it so that his fist was unharmed, while creating a doubly powerful punch. The guy's head snapped back slamming against the wall with a crash that turned my stomach, blood, spit, and teeth flying from his mouth. Crimson smeared the wall behind the guy's head, indicating some major head trauma.

I was in shock. I had never seen Gaara physically engage an opponent in this way before. He had never, to my knowledge, punched anyone. Well, except for that one time with Naruto, but he had been completely out of chakra, so it didn't count.

Then he put his hand on my attacker's throat, and I heard an unpleasant choking sound come from what was obviously a painfully tight grip. Sand slowly crawled up Mister Dumbass Pervert's body, taking it's time, letting him suffer, eventually covering him entirely.

At that point Gaara snarled, " **Sand Coffin** " in a voice so deep and rough I barely recognized it as human, much less Gaara's.

The guy screamed as the sand compressed, probably breaking quite a few things, judging by the snaps and cracks I heard. I flinched. Then Gaara drew his hand back, and he growled quietly, "Did you actually think you could get away with this? Did you think you could hurt her, _**touch**_ her, and not die?" His voice was deep and so full of menace even I couldn't hear it and not tremble.

The evil aura surrounding him doubled abruptly and I once again saw that slightly crazed, manic look in his eye that meant he was going into a murderous frenzy, one eye flashing black and gold for a split second. There was a pause as he observed the man pinned to the wall, writhing in pain, and then he reached out one hand, opening his fingers wide and snarled, " **SAND BURIAL** " and squeezed his hand into a fist.

There was a second where the sand visibly squeezed, and then a bloodcurdling scream as blood spattered from the mass of sand and now pulverized flesh. And then it was over, and the sand dismissively tossed whatever was left of the body into a body bag, his face still recognizable, as per instructions.

I closed my eyes, disturbed by the violence and cruelty of the death and the fact that I had some of his blood on me now. But mostly I was simply overwhelmed with relief. After a few moments, in which Gaara simply stood and breathed heavily, he seemed to calm somewhat and turned to me, still chained to the bed, the sand still hovering over me.

He looked at me, and suddenly I was very aware that my shirt was still up around my armpits, my breast bindings somewhat loose, but thankfully not exposing me too much, and of course my pants dangling off one ankle, leaving my legs bare up to my panties with my sheer skirt bunched up around my hips. Not to mention the violently obvious red mark that marred the skin of my stomach, a mark that could be seen disappearing underneath my underwear. I flushed, the blush visibly crawling down my chest and stomach, which he eyed angrily.

He walked over, and I avoided eye contact, too humiliated by the whole thing to really be in any position for that. He looked at the sand that still delicately coiled over my skin with some surprise, and then called forth some of it to break the manacles. They fell off my wrists and I immediately sat up and pulled my shirt down, not bothering with fixing my bindings.

"Wait."

I stopped, looking up at him questioningly. He sat on the edge of the bed, and delicately reached out a hand to grip the hem of my shirt. I released my grasp on it, as he tentatively pulled it up, just a little, to get a good look at the red mark.

His intense x-ray eyes raked up and down the mark, what he could see of it. I watched his face as he took it in, watched as his expression tightened. I could tell when his eyes marked the way it disappeared beneath the plain white cloth of my undergarments, by the way the coal rims around his eyes widened in horror.

"What is this?" he asked hoarsely after a moment of staring at it in abject dismay.

I sucked in a shuddering breath. "I'm not sure. But he had the same sort of markings on his stomach, so I can only assume it's some sort of jutsu, probably the one that allowed him to steal chakra through raping his victims, since it ends where it does." I winced, not liking to think about it too much. My voice came out rough and barely audible.

I could _hear_ Gaara's teeth grinding together, which was a rather unpleasant noise to be honest. After a moment, he inquired, "And…exactly how close did he get…to completing that action?" His voice came out raspy and very, very deep.

"Only what you saw. He didn't get under my clothes. At least not my underwear, thankfully. Although he did slobber on me a whole lot, which was foul." I grimaced.

A low rumble escaped from his chest at that last comment, but then he sighed with relief, taking in the fact that he hadn't actually been able to do the deed.

"Thank god." He muttered softly, and then turned his eyes away and let my shirt fall.

I briskly pulled up my pants, struggling a little with the straps. Eventually everything was mostly where it should be, and I simply sat, shivering.

After a long silent moment, I summarized the episode. "Well that was gross, and disturbing, and horrifying, …" I murmured and then shuddered.

I was also disturbed because I had never seen Gaara like that before. I had seen him at his worst, when he was insane, but somehow this had been even more frightening, his fury even more intense that it used to be. I wondered at the source, perhaps it was because I was his friend and had been hurt?

Whatever the case, we still had to complete our mission, and so we took the body now contained by the securely shut body bag, back to the village, proving that we had successfully eliminated the target. Gaara was a little quieter than usual, which meant that his usual taciturn nature was reduced to less than monosyllabic. I was concerned that the near-rape incident had somehow affected our relationship, that he was disappointed in me for being so weak and allowing myself to end up in that position. Frankly, I was disappointed in myself.

They promised to take the body back to the Village Hidden in the Stones, and that the Village Hidden in the Sand would get its proper reward once it had been done. And so we returned back to the Sand Village, victorious in our mission, but greatly disturbed by what had transpired.

 **End Chapter 35**

 **Author's Note:** You might wonder why the hell I decided to put poor Ren through all this trauma. There is a reason. It has to do with making Gaara realize certain things. I could have done it in a less dramatic way I suppose …

Anyway, I hope it wasn't too upsetting for anyone. The emotional backlash will be a kinda bad, just to warn you. It's gonna be a bumpy ride for just a little while. But hang in there with me! Everything is gonna get better, I promise!

 **Music List**

 **Awakening by Iconic Audio** (Ren wakes)

 **Deities and Destroyer by Position Music** (Mr. Pervert enters the room)

 **Rise of Saturn by Titan Slayer** (acid)

 **Exiled by Position Music** (feels like a bad dream)

 **Never Surrender by Phantom Power Music** (throat hoarse from screaming)

 **Sun and Steel by Audiomachine** ("You are so very dead…")

 **Soldiers of Truth by Danny Cocke** (an oppressive dark aura)

 **Unchained by Baptiste Thiry** (Shukaku's paw)

 **Elegy of the Nightborn by Hannes Johansson** (aftermath)


	36. Chapter 36

Once we returned to the sand village, we separated after the brisk report was given and I went home. As soon as I walked in the door I shed my clothing in a path to the shower. Once in the bathroom I didn't even wait for the water to heat up, I simply got in, turned the water on, flinching and crying out softly when the cold water hit me. I cranked it all the way up, the water slowly going from freezing to scorching. I washed my hair, and soaped up thoroughly, then rinsed off.

But it wasn't enough, I still felt dirty from the experience. The jutsu on my stomach was still there even after we had had some medical ninja look at it. It couldn't do any harm with its wielder dead, no-one could work it except him, so I wasn't worried about that, but just having it on my skin was terrible and felt like a brand.

I picked up the soap and my loofa, soaping up and rinsing off, soaping up and rinsing off, soaping up and rinsing off, over and over, losing track of time and how the water was actually burning my skin a little now. I scrubbed the marks on my wrists from the restraints. I scrubbed the rope burns on my breasts. I scrubbed the red mark that went from my belly to my pubic mound. I scrubbed my neck where he had slobbered all over me. I scrubbed until the water washing down the drain ran pink. And it still wasn't enough.

After a while, I stopped, staring at my hands numbly, the loofa that had been white was now stained bright pink, and my wrists were now raw and bleeding. I crumpled to the floor of the shower, curling into myself, mindless of the now freezing water pelting me. I held myself and rocked back and forth, sobs ripped out of my gut so hard that convulsions shook my body. I threw up, the shower cleaning itself quickly and leaving no trace.

I reran the whole thing through my mind, unable to stop myself, the whole episode traumatizing me more than I had thought it would. He hadn't even raped me, hadn't done any real damage, aside from the jutsu, hadn't even gotten inside my underwear, and yet I still felt nauseous from the experience. I had heard about these sorts of missions before, of Kunoichi that had to take on missions where they used their bodies to seduce, even sometimes having to actually have sex with someone for a mission, usually to gather information, or to subdue a man into a very subtle assassination. But I had never thought that I would ever come close to having something like that happen to me.

It was the reason that sometimes female ninja, Kunoichi, were not as highly respected as their male counterparts, because it was assumed that they were "damaged goods," sometimes even going so far as to assume that just because they had been assigned that mission that they were sluts, and had somehow wanted it. It was a terrible double standard.

My thoughts swirled in my head, reliving the experience over and over, thinking about the unfairness of it all. And then I thought about Gaara, how he hadn't spoken to me much afterwards, and the inevitable conclusion shattered me.

I felt dirty, I felt shameful, I had scrubbed myself raw because if it. Even though I knew it wasn't true, that it was simply an emotional response that I would eventually be able to bury among all the other hurtful things in my past, I couldn't help it. And if I felt for the moment that I was dirty and shameful, then surely Gaara felt the same way. That must be why he hadn't spoken to me after the mission, why he avoided my eyes, why I saw him looking at me but would look away when I glanced over.

The pain from that was even worse, the familiar sensation of loss, the sensation I had experienced before, but so much more excruciating now, the sensation magnified, the thought of Gaara hating me more than I could bear. If he couldn't even stand to look at me now…

I shuddered, the sobs dry now, having long since run out of tears, my body still convulsing in long raking shudders. I choked, coughed, and sobbed some more. My chest hurt, literally feeling like my ribcage had been split open, my gut clenching in torturous spasms. I threw up again, this time mostly just water and bile.

The pain was too much, and for a short, brief, pure moment I was filled with rage, too much emotion soaking me, drowning me and I fell into a pit of darkness. I screamed, one long bloodcurdling note, and when my senses came back to me, I realized I had put my fist through the wall. I blinked sluggishly at my raw wrist sticking out of the tiled wall of my shower. I slowly pulled my hand out, and looked impassively at my torn knuckles which were now bleeding profusely, the tile having cut them pretty badly.

I simply knelt there, on the floor of my shower, and stared at my hands, going numb. All emotion seeped out of me, like the blood dripping off my hand and going down the drain, and I simply ceased to care. I sat there for who knows how long, hours, days, years, it was impossible to know.

I slowly realized that the shower had stopped, from the abrupt silence and the ceasing of water pelting my raw skin and I slowly tipped my head back, to see who had shut off the water.

I blinked slowly, not really comprehending the presence in my bathroom with me.

"What do you want Temari?" I asked hollowly, not particularly interested in the answer, but asking nonetheless.

She stood and stared at me in horror, her mouth opening and closing. For a moment I was confused, but as I glanced back down to myself, I suppose I could see why she was so shocked. The hot pink loofa was resting beside me, obviously not its natural color as a crimson stain bloomed from beneath it and slowly filtered down the drain. The skin of my neck was no longer identifiable as skin, but rather looked more like the raw meat that you would buy at a butchers shop, only not nearly that clean. It was messy and shredded, raw and bloody from where I had scrubbed it, and so were my breasts, though you could still clearly see the rope burns marking them despite my attempts to erase them from my skin. She probably couldn't see the similar raw scrubbing marks on my belly over the jutsu mark, but she could see my wrists, and the one hand that was still bleeding freely. With the lack of water washing it away, the blood had already begun to collect in thick scarlet streaks on my legs and pool on the shower floor.

I glanced back up at Temari, and she flinched. My eyes must have shown how empty I felt. She swallowed and reached for a towel, bringing it into the shower with her. She knelt next to me in the small, bloody space and wrapped the towel gently around my shoulders, showing a side of herself that I had never seen before. She was never gentle, mostly loud spoken, a little rude, bossy, and generable likable, but never gentle.

"Come on." She murmured and helped me to my feet, wrapping the towel around my waist. She dragged me out of the shower and over to the mirror. From behind my mirror, she pulled out my bandages and bandaged my hand, hissing when she saw the extent of the damage and pulling out one lone piece of ceramic tile that had stubbornly stuck around.

She glanced at the sizable hole in the wall and raised her eyebrows. Then she carefully bandaged my wrists, rubbing a little cream into them first, doing the same for my neck and then my chest, flinching when she saw the rope burns.

"What the … what are these from?" She asked, pointing at the raised strips of angry flesh where the bandages had viciously yanked and pulled in different directions. I looked down numbly.

"I wear breast bandages instead of a bra. He was very … eager to get his hand out when Gaara showed up."

Temari snorted, "I bet he was … bastard." She gingerly bandaged my chest and then my stomach when she saw that, wincing when she saw the jutsu mark, knowing how painful body jutsus typically were. I could see the horror on her face as she took in how low it went on my body.

After I had been swaddled in bandages, she helped me dress in a large baggy shirt and underwear and then gently prodded me into bed. Her blond, ponytailed head turned towards the door and then back towards me, her eyes obviously torn. "I have to go, but I'll be back later to check on you okay?"

I felt a little warmth unthaw my frozen chest somewhat, from her caring for me. "Thank you Temari."

She turned back to look at me, "You have done so much for our family, you don't even know. If you ever need help, I will always come."

I tried smiling, truly touched. She smiled back and then turned and left.

 ***Gaara POV***

 _Meanwhile …_

Gaara paced in his room. He was actually _pacing_ , he never paced. The novelty was lost on him though, the situation too intense for him to pay much attention to stupid details like that. He didn't even notice the sand mimicking him, swirling around the room in the same pattern he was pacing.

His mind was once again in turmoil, the events from the last mission running through his head in an endless repeating loop, driving him bat shit crazy.

When he had finally found her, after searching for hours, panicking more and more every minute it took him to find her, he had been relieved nearly to the point of crying. He had approached that little shack with apprehension, sending his sand in first to get a toe in; he let it trickle in the windows and around the door as he got closer and closer, but didn't give it any particular direction aside from that. By the time he was nearly on top of it, he already knew that Ren was inside, sensing her through his sand.

He had focused in on his sand, weaving his senses through the grains, trying to get an idea of the situation. He could feel the vibrations of a struggle, he could feel her voice, though he couldn't understand what she was saying, and he got the distinct impression of harsh metal on her wrists.

As soon as he had surrounded the entire building with sand he focused his will, sending it up the door and into the hinges, simply dismantling it.

He walked forward, and Ren's scent reached his nostrils, feeling like it punched him in the chest with the amount of force it hit him with. It was so strong, the salty scent of her sweat and of her tears. And even aside from that, her scent had changed, the scent of terror that he had become so accustomed to from his time as a psychopath, the panic sharpening her innate scent with adrenaline. And lastly, he picked up the coppery scent of her blood.

He felt Shukaku raise his head at the familiar scents and growl inside his skull, forcing the same sound out of his own chest. There was something different in the way Shukaku felt though, a violence not seeking the blood of the one he smelled, but rather wanting to kill whoever had spilt that blood. Gaara was shocked to realize that his monster, for whatever reason, was not thirsting for her blood.

Pushing those thoughts aside for the moment, he had pushed the door down, already in battle stance, ready to deal out pain and misery to the bastard that had dared to steal away someone precious to him. He had already felt his mind slip, his control over his emotions loosening, the tell-tale rage building within his gut.

When the door came crashing to the ground and he was presented with a scene strait from a nightmare, he had frozen, everything moving in slow motion for a long moment as he processed what he was seeing. Ren's wrists were indeed chained, to the headboard of a filthy bed, her arms pulled tightly above her head while the rest of her was stretched out on the mattress. He zeroed in on several details right away; the man's position crouched over her and _in between_ her legs, the bare expanse of her pale legs, her shirt bunched up underneath her armpits, and the man's hand on her chest, _inside_ her bindings.

He felt something within him snap, and suddenly for the first time in his whole life, his own bloodlust rivaled Shukaku's, who was roaring in his head, _**How DARE he touch what's OURS! He will DIE!**_

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER?!" Gaara roared, echoing the strange words, but feeling them intensely. His rage grew, encompassing the whole room, that special ability of his to make others feel fear coming in handy as he immediately sought to terrify the man currently on top of Ren.

He stalked into the room, feeling the sand bend to his will to make the man suffer, the sand rising and constantly pelting him, whipping him with long tendrils of sand. He snarled, the sound low and deadly as Shukaku wrapped his arm in sand, happily lending him a paw to put a big hurt on this guy. It was the first time they had worked together towards any goal before, normally fighting each other for dominance inside his head.

Thinking back on the whole incident now, Gaara couldn't believe he had actually engaged the guy in hand to hand combat, punching him with his fist even, but at the time he had felt this desire to actually feel the damage being inflicted, with his own flesh. He had wanted to rip the man limb from limb with his bare hands, feel the bastard's blood beneath his fingernails.

The urge was one he had never experienced before, and even disturbed him greatly post-battle, the immensity of his rage shaking him to his core. He didn't know where it had come from, this strange possessiveness that had taken him over, driving him to protect Ren in such a spectacular manner. Even the thought of anyone touching her in that way … made him see red, in a way he hadn't for a while now. Perhaps not ever.

These feelings almost made him feel as out of control as he had at the Chunin exams, really making him wonder if he had advanced as far as he had thought. He had thought that he had mastered these urges, the need for violence slowly becoming easier and easier to manage. But this had brought everything back to the surface, disturbing him so much that he had been unable to engage in any sort of conversation during the rest of the mission, his emotions so unstable that he simply couldn't.

There was something about Ren, about the way she made him feel, that confused him to no end. For a while now, Gaara had felt these random pangs, a sudden longing to get closer to her, to touch her skin, her hair, to wrap her in his arms and feel the warmth of her against his own body. It was something he had never experienced before, something that he honestly didn't know what to do with, so he simply ignored it to the best of his ability.

That had only increased in frequency and intensity after remembering their joint past, the remembrance of the closeness they had once had nearly driving him mad with longing. Once again he had simply tried to ignore it, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. And now added to this were his new emotions, the feelings of possessiveness, even Shukaku going so far as to call her " **ours.** " He didn't know what it meant, and again he didn't know what he should do about it.

It felt strange to be possessive of another person. Yes, he felt protective of his family, not particularly fond of the idea of Temari dating that pineapple head that was so obviously interested in her, even perhaps playing with the idea of threatening him, but he had never really felt _possessive_.

And then there was the rage, the blinding rage, even letting Shukaku in a little, when he had seen her hurt, afraid, tied up, molested, with tears running down her face and her voice so hoarse from what he could only assume was screaming that he couldn't understand her very well for a solid day afterwards. That sort of immediate intense emotional response was something he had not been prepared for, even knowing what he might see when going in to save her.

And he struggled with the guilt of knowing that he had failed her, that he hadn't protected her from this happening in the first place. He didn't know how she could possibly forgive him, and his chest squeezed painfully at the thought of no longer having her friendship.

It was all so confusing, he simply needed to gain some sort of equilibrium so that he could go back to ignoring all emotion, safely keeping Shukaku locked within his mind. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Kankuro freaking out downstairs. Concerned, he made his way down to the kitchen area where he lingered, listening in to try and see if there was some sort of imminent danger that needed his immediate attention.

"I said I don't want to talk about it Kankuro!" Temari barked, sounding at the end of her rope.

"Temari, you have blood all over you! And you look like you saw a ghost, what the hell happened!"

Gaara immediately entered the room at the sound of Temari covered in blood. He took in her appearance, looking utterly frazzled, pissed off at Kankuro, but also extremely upset, almost looking like she wanted to cry. He had never seen her like this before. And yes, she did have splotches of blood here and there, but it wasn't hers. Gaara immediately recognized the scent of Ren's blood, Shukaku immediately coming awake again.

"What happened? Where's Ren?" He asked abruptly, causing his siblings to freeze and slowly turn towards the sound of his voice, which was a little alarming, even to him.

"Um, Ren?" Kankuro asked tentatively, confused why Gaara would ask that.

Gaara simply continue to stare at Temari, unnerving her visibly, which normally would bother him but at the moment, not so much. Temari shivered, "H-how? I mean…what makes you think we know where Ren is?"

Gaara glared at her, not liking the unanswered question. "You have her blood on you so I'm assuming you were just with her."

Kankuro looked from Gaara back to Temari, "Huh? Ren's blood?"

"H-how did you know it was hers?" Temari muttered, looking disturbed.

"I can smell it, didn't you know?" Gaara rumbled, stalking further into the room, his revelation making both siblings back up a step and swallow.

"Uh, that's kinda gross man." Kankuro muttered, wrinkling his nose.

Gaara didn't bother paying him any attention, all of his focus on Temari. "Right." She laughed nervously, reaching back to rub her neck. "Well, I went over there to check on her, after hearing about what happened and …uh …" She trailed off, looking disturbed again.

"Is she hurt?" Gaara cut to the chase.

"Um, well … not badly …" she trailed off again, but continued when Gaara's glare amped up its threat, "Look, what I saw was … well it was bad, but it's her business … it would be a betrayal of her privacy for me to tell you."

Gaara scowled, but couldn't think of a reply to that. So he simply nodded and went back up to his room to try and get himself under control again, fighting the urge to go over to Ren's apartment.

 **Ren POV**

After several days of moping, lying in bed depressed, and feeling generally miserable and sorry for myself, I decided that today would be a good day to attempt to try eating again. So I made myself a bowl of rice, something nice and bland that probably wouldn't disrupt my delicate digestive balance. There was still some stomach upset when I reintroduced the concept of food, but we worked it out with only some cold sweats and groaning, and thankfully no throwing up.

It was good to be able to keep something down, and after a little while it helped me to feel better, the gnawing pain in my stomach easing. As I was slowly attempting another bowl there was a tentative knock on my door. My eyes went to the door, but I didn't get up to see who was there, simply not in the mood for company. When I didn't respond right away, whoever it was simply let themselves in. I relaxed when I saw that it was only Temari.

"Damn it Temari. You scared me, how in the heck did you get in here?" I grumbled, not unhappy she was here, but still a little put out.

She just grinned and shrugged coming over to sit in front of me, analyzing me. "Well you look like crap …" she said sourly. I tsked and glared at her. "But still better than last time, so I'm glad." She continued matter-of-factly.

"Um, thanks I guess?" I said, not really sure what to make of her appraisal.

"Rice?" She muttered, looking at what I was eating, and knowing me well enough to know that I never ate plain rice.

"It seemed safe. I haven't really eaten much lately so I didn't want to risk it." I shrugged. She scowled.

"You haven't been eating?" She repeated ominously and I hurried to point out that I was, in fact, eating at this very moment, sensing the threat of force feeding from her tone. She calmed down and sat with me for a while, just chatting about inane stuff.

After a while she mentioned off-handedly, "Gaara was worried by the way, when I came home last time with your blood on me." She closely watched my response.

I froze, not sure how to respond.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Uh, I don't think he would be worried about me." I mumbled, not seeing how he could be when he was so obviously disgusted by me. A shudder worked its way through me at the thought and I felt a dangerous clenching in my stomach that signaled the conversation needed to end … now. Unless I wanted to lose my precious lunch.

"Why would you say that? Of course he's worried! He cares about you!" Temari responded, sounding almost indignant.

I flinched, the words wonderful to hear, but so painful given how I was sure I knew how he really felt. "No Temari, he doesn't. Maybe … he did at some point, but not now." I swallowed the bile rising up my throat, and pushed myself away from the table, not interested in throwing up here if that's what was going to happen.

Temari kept pushing me, following me away from the table, her persistence aggravating. "What makes you think so? It's so obviously that he l…"

I cut her off, not wanting to hear the end of that word, not willing to put myself through that kind of pain again. "STOP! Just stop Temari. I can't…just…stop." I shuddered, my body folding in on itself, my stomach clenched to the point I had to curl inwards. I leant one hand against the table to brace myself.

"Ren! He does! He does care!" She yelped, reaching out to put her hand on my shoulder.

I batted it away violently and stood up to glare at her, reaching my limit. "No he DOESN'T! For fucks sake Temari! He didn't speak to me the whole way home after … after that. He couldn't even look at me!"

I turned away from her, feeling that pain again, and my stomach attempted to send my lunch an abrupt eviction notice, a physically painful heave making me slap my hand over my mouth and grip my stomach with the other hand. I swallowed, grimacing, but I really didn't want to throw up again, especially not in front of Temari.

Temari flinched, and then stood blinking in shock for a moment. "So you think…"

I sent her a pointed glare, hating that she was making me say it. "He is obviously disgusted by me. Why would he be worried about me?"

She blinked some more, still shocked. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out for a while. I sighed and decided to go lie down, the cramps in my stomach easing up enough that I felt confidant I could hold things down, but it was still unpleasant. I carefully lowered myself onto my mattress, and then rolled onto my side, away from Temari so she wouldn't see the tears.

She quietly left and I breathed a sigh of relief, simply wanting to be alone for a while.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was currently eating some lunch he had bought from his favorite food vendor and was walking towards the house when Temari came barreling from a roof top and landed next to him. He didn't react surprised as most people would, instead he simply slid her a questioning glance out of the corner of his eye. She grabbed his arm, making his eyes widen from the surprising physical contact, and dragged him the last few feet and into the house, slamming the door after they entered. Gaara quickly swallowed his last bite, coming dangerously close to choking on it, and questioned, "Temari what…?"

She interrupted him, not even letting him finish his question. "You…you emotionally constipated jackass!" Her outburst drew the attention of Kankuro, who appeared from nowhere and gaped at her before sputtering in both humor and horror. "Do you know what you did?"

Gaara, who was about as close to gaping as he had ever gotten, his eyes wide open and his mouth parted slightly, simply stared at her, thinking it was obvious that no, he did not know what had her so upset.

"You made Ren think that you are disgusted by her!" She shouted, and Kankuro looked helplessly confused while Gaara suddenly felt like the world had tilted at a strange angle.

He inhaled, "How exactly did you come to this conclusion?" He questioned, still feeling unbalanced and a little lightheaded.

"She told me." She said somberly, crossing her arms and glaring. He swallowed thickly and took a shaky step backwards so he could lean against the door. The idea that Ren thought he felt something like disgust for her was … unthinkable.

"Did she tell you why?" He mumbled, his voice muffled by his hand on his face.

"She said that you wouldn't talk to her, wouldn't even look at her on the way home. Of course she would think that! She was nearly raped Gaara! She feels...damn, I can't even imagine how she feels. But she obviously can't stand herself right now, and your reaction just made it all worse!"

Gaara flinched, feeling the bottom of his stomach drop out, the uncomfortable sensation new and painful. He felt dangerously close to hyperventilation, something he was also unfamiliar with. "I wasn't … that wasn't my intention!" He gasped, truly shocked by how little breath he had available.

"But do you understand how that would make her feel? Do you know why I came home covered in her blood? I found her in the shower, after she had scrubbed herself raw, punched a hole in her wall, and had been sitting there god knows how long because the water was ice cold." Temari swallowed thickly, shivering as she remembered it and imagined what her friend had been feeling to make her do such things. "She probably feels … dirty, like somehow it was her fault. Maybe she feels weak, that she couldn't protect herself. And she thinks you feel the same way, which might actually be hurting her now more than anything else. She nearly threw up today when I talked about you."

Gaara could understand that sensation, feeling distinctly queasy at the moment himself. "How do I fix it?" He demanded, panting.

Temari blinked, surprised that he was actually asking for advice, the first time as far as she knew. "Well … give her a couple of days to get herself together, and then go tell her you don't hate her."

Gaara nodded, settling in for a few very uncomfortable days as he waited.

 **End Chapter 36**

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Sorry guys, I know it was rough, just a little longer and then things will work out, I promise, just hang in there with me.

* * *

 **Music**

 **Lost Forever by Tom Player** (emotional backlash)

 **Love Lost by Mattia Cupelli** (emotional backlash)

 **Crucible by Audiomachine** (Gaara POV)

 **Soul Battles by Ryan Taubert Music** (Gaara thinking about Ren)

 **False King by Two Steps from Hell** (distracted by Temari and Kankuro)

 **Breathe by Two Steps from Hell** (Ren POV)

 **Dark Hero by Silver Screen** (Temari mentions Gaara)

 **Hurt by Thousand Foot Crutch** (Gaara POV)


	37. Chapter 37

The steam in the bathroom was thick as I stepped out of the shower, toweling myself off briskly. I walked over to the mirror and took a good look at my reflection, taking note of how the marks from the last mission were fading from my skin. I saw that the self-inflicted abrasions were a little better, since I had fought the urge to scrub my skin off again, still feeling a little dirty. But at this point I was also feeling a bit embarrassed at having lost so much control over my emotions, that I had actually gone and done something stupid like that.

I sighed, and averted my gaze from the red tattoo still on my stomach, I couldn't bear to look at it, but at least it seemed as though day by day it grew a little fainter. I wrapped my bandages around my breasts, not bothering with re-bandaging my scrapes, since they were all scabbed over now and on their way to healing nicely. I walked out of the bathroom after having put on my pants.

Once out of the bathroom I briefly hunted for a shirt, but after a moment of glancing around, I decided to skip it for now and get something to eat instead, finding myself pretty hungry. I hadn't been skipping meals anymore, and my stomach had returned to normal, the strange bouts of queasiness passing by.

I definitely was beginning to feel much better, I mean I was still depressed, and still had to deal with the new nightmares that had been added to the already healthy menu of options in that category. But I had been working through my own issues, still not happy with myself, but finally deciding that it wasn't my fault. I still felt dirty, still felt his grubby hands on my skin, but I was working hard on suppressing those feelings, recognizing that they were simply useless echoes of the trauma.

All of that I could deal with, but the thought that Gaara hated me now still haunted me. Despite my best intentions, I had let him back into my heart, since he had never truly left. The walls I had put up so long ago didn't keep him out, because he had already been behind them when I put them up. I had promised myself that I would never be hurt again, would never care for anyone so deeply. And here I had done it again, only worse.

Gaara had worked his way deeper and deeper into my heart, despite my attempts to numb myself to him, and now he was wedged in even deeper than he was so many years ago. We had only been children then, our bond had been profound and pure, but now it was multifaceted and even stronger from the experiences we had shared together.

And he had only just remembered our childhood. He now had access to all those memories that were so personal and intimate. And even though I had decided to pretend that nothing had changed, I couldn't help but feel more vulnerable around him. He now knew some of my darkest secrets, and I still wasn't fully comfortable with that.

I just didn't know what to do, I felt paralyzed. It was only now that I had lost him, that I truly felt the depth of my feelings for him, the gravity of the pain and loss making that quite clear. It was as if he had been removed from my person, and the space he left behind was so vast, so unfillable, that I didn't know how to go on. I wasn't sure I would be able to function properly with an endless pit in my chest. It was like I had a cavity in my soul, but it hurt so much worse than a tooth cavity.

And I still refused to think about what that meant. I refused to acknowledge that there was the slightest possibility that I loved him as anything other than just a friend. That was my last shred of armor.

I sat down in my kitchen chair and sighed, rubbing my forehead, indescribably frustrated by how things had gone so wrong. Sure I had been terrified when he had remembered our childhood, afraid that it would change our friendship. I had been afraid that our friendship would turn into something deeper and more intimate than I was ready for, maybe more than I would ever be ready for. But I had still been happy, happier than I had been in a long time.

Why was it that whenever it seemed like maybe I could actually be happy, something happened to make it all disappear?

I groaned and moved my hands and arms so I could do a face plant into the table. "Ow." I mumbled, my voice muffled by the wood. I had forgotten the bruise still on my forehead from head-butting that jerk. I sighed again and turned my face to the side, gazing out the window mindlessly as I contemplated my options.

The dust that floated in the air, visible in the sunbeam coming from my window, caught my attention and I lazily flicked my finger at it, sending a little breeze to make them dance and swirl in the light. I watched, almost enraptured. The simple entertainment was so much easier to deal with than my fucked up head.

All my nonexistent thoughts came to a screeching halt when there was a knock on my door. I groaned and then said loudly, "Go away Temari, I'm not in the mood for company."

There was silence on the other side of the door, and then it opened. My face was turned away from it, but I heard the click and squeak of the hinge. I heaved yet another sigh, the sound becoming repetitive in my ears as it shut behind her. I simply stayed where I was, my head on the table turned away from the door, my hand and arm outstretched towards the window where I was twirling the dust mites around and around. "You should really stop doing that, doors have locks for a reason," I murmured, not really irritated, only mildly annoyed. I hadn't really expected her to stay out.

The length of time that it took for her to respond struck me as odd, since she was always pretty quick to make a pithy comeback. So I sighed once again, and pushed myself up a little, propping my head on my hand and rotating it to give her a dull look of reproach.

My mind momentarily shut down, not able to comprehend right away that the person in my doorway was not Temari, but was instead her younger brother. I froze, my chest tensing as I took in the familiar features.

There was an endless moment where our eyes met, his pale jade eyes staring into my own without any hint of wanting to look away. After a while I grew dizzy and realized that I wasn't breathing, so I was forced to take an abruptly deep breath, bordering on a gasp, but I tried to control it to the best of my ability.

I blinked and looked away, my mind tripping over itself as I tried to assimilate the situation. _What the…why…what…why…what is he…why is he here?_ It simply didn't make sense for him to be here. I blinked rapidly and shook my head, trying to spark something in my brain that would tell me what in the hell was going on. Perhaps I should just bluff and pretend that nothing was wrong?

I cleared my throat and then turned back to him, trying my best to smile normally, but it felt kind of like a shaky grimace on my face. "Um … hi Gaara. What … why are you …eh … why are you here, exactly?" My voice came out unbelievable hoarse and I immediately had the desire to face palm at my stupid rambling sentence. I sounded exactly the way I didn't want to sound, like I was trying to hide something.

Gaara didn't answer right away and instead just stood there and stared, making me exceedingly uncomfortable. His x-ray eyes scanned my face and trailed down to my neck where they lingered and then to my chest, which I intensely realized was only decent because of the bandages wrapped around me. My skin prickled as his eyes went to my arms and wrists, and then moved back up to my eyes, something in them making it difficult to hold his gaze.

I broke the staring contest and instead stared self-consciously at my hands, the raw reminder of my less than healthy ways of dealing with the situation glaring back up at me. I had bandaged my hand, it was too deep of a wound to let heal in the open air just yet. I inhaled and then huffed and cleared my throat again, wishing he would just state the purpose of his visit so that he could leave. I was sure that it was due to some sort of mission, and certainly couldn't be a social call.

I was barely able to hear his quiet footsteps, and probably the only reason I could was because he was intentionally letting me hear him draw closer, since I wasn't looking at him. The air shifted as he came to stand right next to me, his presence nearly impossible to ignore. My stupid heart was doing it's very best to try to crawl up my throat, the pulse pounding in my neck so strong it was making me lightheaded.

A pale hand came into my field of view, reaching forward to lightly touch the back of my raw wrist. My eyes followed his hand raptly, twitching only slightly when his fingertips made feather light contact with my skin. "What happened?" His raspy voice came from next to my ear, and it was obvious that he was talking about the rawness blemishing my skin.

I flushed with humiliation, the emotions driving me to scrub my own skin off not something that I wanted to talk about, especially not with him. There wasn't anything I could think of to give as an excuse to so I simply remained silent.

"I see." He paused for a long moment and then continued, "Temari told me that you are under the impression that I hate you." I gasped and whipped my head around to look at him, my eyes wide.

I couldn't believe Temari! That she had gone and blabbed to Gaara! I stood abruptly, making Gaara take a step back to avoid my head colliding with his. Growling I stalked around the table, incensed, not going anywhere in particular, just aimlessly pacing to exert some of my frustration. "That little … I'm going to kill her."

I paced all the way around the table, only to come face to face with Gaara again, almost having forgotten about him in my aggravation and nearly running into him. He was standing with his arms crossed and an unreadable expression on his face. I flinched and turned to go in the opposite direction, only to come to a halt when he caught my wrist very gently in his grasp. I flinched and stopped, but didn't turn back around towards him. Instead, I simply stood still with my arm stretched out behind me.

"She was right to tell me; otherwise I would have never known you felt this way." He said softly from behind me.

"Why does it matter?" I mumbled, still not facing him, afraid of what I might see in his face.

"It matters because you are wrong." I blinked and turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. "I don't hate you. Far from it." His voice was gentle and he seemed sincere as he spoke, his eyes never leaving my face, never exhibiting that furtiveness they had shown after the near-rape.

I sucked in a shaky breath, not daring to let myself hope. "Perhaps you don't hate me. But you must feel some sort of … disgust, or disappointment, or anger towards me after …"

He cut me off, "No. I feel none of those things. I feel … I care about you." The last few words were said a little softer, almost tentatively.

I trembled, inhaling a shuddering breath as I fought to keep myself from crying, so confused now that I just didn't know what to do. Were his words true? Did he truly not care about how I had failed? I shook my head reminding myself that I had not failed. I turned towards him fully and he released my wrist. My arms came up to wrap around my middle, trying to guard myself.

"Then why didn't you talk to me or look at me on the mission after … what happened? If it wasn't disgust then what was it?" My voice wobbled despite my best efforts to keep it steady.

He blinked, looking uncomfortable, his forehead creasing. After a long pause he said, "I was concerned, about how I had reacted." He looked away, "I … reacted more strongly than I had expected, and I was afraid that I was losing control over Shukaku again." He closed his eyes, almost looking ashamed, appearing as if he thought that _he_ had failed, and suddenly it made sense. Thinking back on it, he hadn't been avoiding me so much as he had appeared to be wrapped up in thought.

I stared at him, trying to reassemble my brain around the new knowledge, unaware that a few tears had slipped unchecked down my cheeks. His eyes slid back up to meet mine and then widened with alarm as they took in my tears, making me blink, not knowing why he suddenly looked so upset, since I was unaware of the tears in the first place.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered, as he grimaced and winced. He tentatively reached out a hand, looking as though he wanted to touch my cheek before pausing and then lowering it again without making contact. He was still obviously unsure about initiating physical contact of any kind, unless of course he was trying to intimidate me.

"For what?" I whispered back, not really sure what he was apologizing for.

He swallowed, "For failing in my mission. I was supposed to keep you safe. And for making you think that I hated you." He winced again and his eyes slid away from mine and to the side.

I abruptly realized that he held himself responsible for what had happened, that he hadn't been able to protect me. I hadn't thought about he might feel. After all, his job had been to swoop in and snatch the guy before he could do any damage, and the fact that I had been taken right under his nose must have upset him a great deal. Everything inside me shifted, shifted from the mindset I had had only a few moments ago, to suddenly feeling entirely different. I had felt as if there was this huge rift between us, a gap that caused so much pain, pain that had crushed my heart and made it difficult for me to even look at him. Now, suddenly, I felt this indescribable tenderness infusing my being, and I abruptly felt closer to him than I had felt in…maybe never.

I stepped closer and reached out to put my hand on his shoulder, to try and comfort him. My hand wavered an inch from making contact but I steeled my nerves, reassuring myself that he was still my friend, that he did not hate me and had admitted himself that he cared about me. I lightly let my hand rest on his shoulder, feeling him tense up impossibly under my palm, his shoulder muscle bunching up hard and tight where my hand was resting. I kept the pressure light, not wanting to freak him out, knowing that he still tended to shy away from physical contact. Well…except for those rare, strange incidents where he had pushed my own personal bubble in the physical contact department. I still wasn't sure what that was all about.

His head stayed lowered, but his eyes flickered up to meet mine, "You have nothing to be sorry for." I said seriously, holding his eye contact calmly, feeling a wave of peace roll through me unlike anything I had felt since this whole mess happened. "We simply underestimated him."

I finally felt okay, confidant that Gaara still cared for me. Though there was still pain and a whole mess of other nonsense and flotsam floating around in the back of my head caused by the trauma of what had happened, the weight that lifted from knowing that Gaara didn't hate me helped me to heal faster than anything else could have.

 **End Chapter 37**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hope this helped everyone! Super sweet chapter to refresh the soul. :3

* * *

 **Music**

 **Down by Jason Walker ft. Molly Reed** (Ren struggling)

 **Fly by Ludovico Einaudi** (Ren struggling)

 **Icarus by Ivan Torrent ft. Julie Elven**

 **Rise Above by Two Steps From Hell**

 **Guardians by Two Steps From Hell**

 **Frayed Legacy by Two Steps From Hell** (Temari told him and Ren's pissed)

 **Love and Loss by Two Steps From Hell** ("It matters because you are wrong")


	38. Chapter 38

_His head stayed lowered, but his eyes flickered up to meet mine, "You have nothing to be sorry for." I said seriously, holding his eye contact calmly, feeling a wave of peace roll through me unlike anything I had felt since this whole mess happened. "We simply underestimated him."_

His eyes widened as I heard a quiet gasp escape his lips, and I could see his eyes begin to glow as the light was refracted from the growing moisture. He blinked several times, obviously not wanting to cry. I could understand that sentiment, being particularly unfond of crying myself.

I let my hand slide down from his shoulder and rest on his chest for a moment and I felt him shiver. My eyes lowered from his and landed on my hand, feeling his quick heartbeat against my palm.

"Thank you." I murmured, smiling a little as I felt his heart flutter, "I'm glad you came here to clear up this whole mess, I feel much better now. The thought that you no longer wanted to be friends with me was terrifying. I don't know what I would have done if it had been true." My voice grew softer and softer as I continued, nearly thinking aloud, almost unaware of what I was divulging.

I flushed a little as I realized that I had said too much, once again. It was so strange how easy it was to let personal things slip when I was talking to Gaara. No matter how hard I tried to give myself a safe amount of distance, I always started to fall into him, almost as if he was a huge magnet. A nervous chuckle escaped me as I took my hand off his chest, realizing I had left it there for much too long and I flushed even deeper pink.

"Right well … ah heh heh…um, so I'm just gonna…well I suppose I should get dressed for one thing." I noted as I glanced down to see my still half clothed state, somewhat shocked that I had just held an entire conversation with Gaara while essentially just wearing my version of a bra. It was quite a novel experience.

I looked up again just in time to see Gaara's cheeks flush pink and he glanced away, his verbal response consisting of "hmm."

I chuckled, amused by his obvious discomfort. It wasn't as though I was naked for goodness sakes. Yes it was embarrassing, but his discomfort almost completely erased my own. "Gaara are you blushing?" I snickered, amused more than I should be.

His jaw clenched, his head facing away from me, looking at the wall, but his eyes flicked in my direction, glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. But what really got me was the flush that brightened vibrantly, spreading across his cheeks as I watched. I tried not to, but couldn't help the laughter that snuck out, "Oh my god! You _are_ blushing! You never blush, this is too good."

His eyes narrowed and a growl rumbled out of his chest warningly, telling me that I should stop teasing him. Now. And if that wasn't enough, the cork popped out of his gourd and sand started to trickle onto the ground around his feet. Against all reason this only made me laugh harder, the fact that Gaara was so furious at being caught blushing filling me with sadistic glee.

My continued laughter aggravated him further, the flush still firmly on his face, even brighter now if I wasn't mistaken, and his growl kicked up in volume, the sand starting to anxiously swirl around his feet.

I couldn't seem to stop laughing. Perhaps it was the stress from the last few days finally being released, but whatever the reason I found myself stuck in the most persistent giggle fit of my life. I bent over, bracing myself on my knees as my sides started to cramp.

"Would you stop?" came the pissed of grumble from Gaara.

" …. Sorry." I wheezed around giggles, finally sitting down right there on the floor as I attempted to regain some modicum of composure, but not having a lot of luck. Eventually, the laughter petered out and I sat, gasping and wheezing, trying to catch my breath.

After a moment I glanced up, to see Gaara standing a few feet from me, his arms crossed, his head tilted back and cocked slightly, glaring down his nose at me in that familiar intimidating way of his that told me he was not amused.

For whatever reason this just sent me into a new round of laughter and I fell flat back on my back, rolling from side to side and giggling hysterically, even kicking one foot at the air for a second. I finally got control of myself and collapsed limply onto the ground, simply lying there with a grin on my face, my chest heaving as I gasped once again for breath, tears leaking out of my eyes from the intense laughter, and I felt flushed from the exertion. I must have looked like a hot mess, but I really didn't care, simply too happy and giddy with relief. Everything was all right with the world now that I had Gaara back in my life, and I refused to think about how pathetic that made me, to be so dependent on someone else for my happiness.

I opened my eyes to see Gaara in the same exact place, with the same exact expression on his face, though it had relaxed somewhat. I giggled and cocked my head to the side, frowning in an exaggerated mimicry of his expression and said, "Why so cranky?"

He snorted, his lips quirking up and then he rolled his eyes, again something I had never seen before. He was just full of surprises.

He heaved a dramatic sigh and uncrossed his arms, his over-all posture relaxing. I smiled and got up, and then looked around for a shirt. My laundry sometimes ended up in the oddest of places and I hadn't had time yet to put it away since the last time I did any was right before the last mission. I finally located a pile of fresh clothes behind the couch and pulled one of my black shirts out of the pile, shaking it and turning it right side out before slipping it over my head and then grabbed one of my sheer white over skirts and wrapped it around my hips, tying it at the side.

I turned back to Gaara to see an odd expression on his face, one I couldn't quite place, but that made me feel funny, his gaze almost sharp and burning. I shrugged it off after a second and grabbed a pair of ninja sandals and put them on while walking towards the door, hopping on one foot and then the other as I went. I heard Gaara make that distinctive snort again, indicating that I looked as silly as I felt.

I grinned back at him and an answering smirk curled his lips, surprising me so much that I nearly tripped and fell over. Smiling was another thing Gaara never did. Perhaps he was going for a record of breaking Gaara's Rules today? I righted myself, but still managed to bounce off the doorframe as I went to open the door. I could swear I heard a chuckle from behind me and I shot a glare over my shoulder. This time the smirk was broader, his eyes glittering with mirth. My eyes widened and I whirled back around, swallowing hard, startled by just how attractive he was. Not that I didn't already know, but that smirk made my gut clench and a flush rise up my neck.

I walked out the door, calling over my shoulder, "I'm going to go get some decent food, wanna come?"

He didn't respond, but as I walked out the door he appeared by my side, his silent agreement obvious. "You sure are a talkative guy Gaara." I teased, seeing the look he shot me out of the corner of my eye, and this time _I_ smirked.

As we walked down the street, headed towards a food vendor that I particularly liked, I noticed all the strange stares. It wasn't from everyone, but out of the fellow ninja, at least a third would turn and stare at me in the oddest way, some almost pitying, some almost hostile, some almost as if they were making fun of me. It took me a while to figure it out, but when I did I felt my stomach do a weird flip flop in my belly. The gossip mill had been working and the news about my mission had somehow or another been leaked. I knew it wasn't Baki, but probably from one of those damn old gossips on the council.

My good mood decreased, substantially. I growled, doing a pretty good impression of Shukaku myself, drawing Gaara's attention. He glanced at me, noting my tense expression and grimaced, already having noticed the stares.

I felt a wave of menace as he turned on his special ability, that deadly aura seeping out of him and immediately affecting the crowd. Everyone abruptly averted their eyes, and I breathed a little easier. Sometimes having Gaara as your best friend really did come in handy.

We got to the food vendor and I ordered my favorite, ramen made the desert way with lizard meat. I wasn't a fan of lizard tongue like Gaara, but I did like the meat. Gaara ordered something I had never had before and we took our food and went to find some shade. We sat under one of the canopies that were always set up in the middle of the market place during the day, as long as there wasn't a sand storm. Before a sandstorm the whole village would hustle to tie down all the canopies, pick up and move carts indoors, and close all windows and doors tightly.

We ate in companionable silence and whenever anyone gave me an odd look Gaara sent out a fresh wave of deadly intent, making them scurry off. It was relatively peaceful, for us at least.

 **The End**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

No…not really. But the plan was originally to separate it here and write the next one.

I was planning to write it in two parts, but I couldn't find the right place to split it. Essentially the first part is focused on their friendship, and is set in the original Naruto Series timeline. The second part is focused on their relationship developing further, and is set in between Naruto and Naruto Shippuden, and then continues into the Shippuden timeline.

It's going to be in the same story though, no worries. I was afraid I would lose some readers by doing that, so I decided to just continue posting here, but I may alter the title and description a little.

Or if anyone has any thoughts about me splitting it and making a sequel, send me a comment. :)

 **Next Chapter: Burn with me: Chapter 1**

* * *

 **Music List**

 **Boy Like You by Ke$ha ft Ashley Tisdale**

 **Glow by Madcon**


	39. Burn With Me: Chapter 1

**Burn with Me**

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

I laughed as Kankuro attempted to boss Gaara around, failing miserably. I had been hanging out with the Sabaku group more and more lately, my team still not back from the long mission they had been sent on before the whole rapist debacle, and that had been nearly a month ago. I was worried about them, but I knew they were probably just taking their time getting the job done, not having me along with them to hustle their slow asses along.

My attention was drawn back to the scene in front of me as Kankuro raised his voice, pointing vigorously as he tried to tell Gaara that he was doing everything completely wrong. Gaara simply stood there, his arms crossed and that blank expression on his face. The funny thing was that neither of them knew what they were doing, since cooking wasn't something either of the brothers knew how to do in this family. Temari simply stood by, watching the mayhem with an evil smirk on her face.

She had been the one behind this whole chaos after all. After Kankuro had insulted her cooking, she had dared him to try to cook something, which then led to him trying to get Gaara to help, which only worked to a certain extent. Gaara had seemed curious enough that he had participated, but he obviously didn't appreciate Kankuro trying to tell him what to do, and it was hilarious to watch Kankuro try.

"For god's sake Gaara! You have to put the eggs in first, not after the rice!"

Watching them make a mess was fantastically funny, the two of them attempting to make fried rice, but neither of them having a clue what to do. They at least mostly got all the ingredients right, from what I could tell. I wasn't exactly a cook myself, but it seemed as though they had the main things laid out on the counter.

It seemed as though they were getting dangerously close to an all-out brawl, both of them pissed off with the kitchen, the cooking utensils, the food, and each other.

As Kankuro encroached into Gaara's territory Gaara turned to give him a chilling look. "Kankuro," he drawled "Get out of my space."

Kankuro grunted something, too wrapped up in what he was doing to notice the danger. Somehow he managed to slip on the floor, which was covered in various slippery substances like egg, butter, oil, and even soy sauce. As he went down he waved his arms through the air and in comical slow motion several eggs flew in a beautiful arch to splat spectacularly on top of Gaara's red hair.

I suppose the sand didn't see the eggs as a threat because as the yolks dripped down his face it became apparent that he was currently without his sand armor, and his gourd was across the room leaning against the wall.

Gaara slowly turned towards Kankuro, the slippery eggs that oozed down one side of his face and over his shoulder somewhat lessening the force of his glare, but it was pretty impressive considering the circumstances that he still managed to look utterly terrifying.

Unfortunately, Kankuro was also infuriated, the fall having covered him in all manner of disgusting substances, and he was so pissed off that he didn't pay any attention to Gaara as he stickily got to his feet. Gaara stalked up to him and to all of our shock punched him square in the face, making Kankuro fall back down and slide across the floor, cussing and sputtering as he went.

I noted Gaara's gourd begin to shake and I put a lockdown on it, wrapping it in a wind tunnel so tight a single grain wouldn't be able to sneak out. I didn't want Gaara's sand to interrupt what was sure to be the best spectacle I had seen in a long time. "Hey Temari, you got any popcorn?" I muttered out of the corner of my mouth.

She snickered and said, "Yeah, I have a bag in my room."

I nodded and sent a little breeze up the stairs to hunt for it, only having to ask for a few directions before we had the bag of popcorn in our hands and were munching on the snack while watching the entertainment.

"What the fuck Gaara?! Now you're gonna get it you little squirt."

Both Temari and I winced "Ouch, big mistake." I mumbled around a handful of snack.

And really the statement didn't hold as true anymore. Gaara was still shorter than Kankuro, but he had surpassed me by at least an inch now. So maybe he was still a little short, but certainly not like he had been before. Nevertheless, I knew the insult would set him off, his height always being a bit of a sore spot for him.

A vein pounded dangerously in Gaara's temple and he growled, "What did you just say?" as he took a battle stance.

Kankuro didn't bother to respond, only stomping forward to return the brotherly love with a punch that Gaara had to block with his hands since his sand was currently in a wind bottle. He looked around wildly, noticing the wind wrapped around his gourd and sent me a deadly glare.

I just shrugged, not at all apologetic.

Kankuro immediately realized he had the advantage now and proceeded to attempt to beat the ever living snot out of his little brother. He didn't totally succeed, Gaara managed to evade some of his blows, and actually landed a few of his own, but it was painfully obvious that his hand to hand combat skills were sadly lacking. After several minutes both boys were covered in grime and Temari and I decided to put an end to it all, beginning to worry for the kitchen.

"All right boys that's enough!" Temari bellowed, opening her fan with a definitive snap.

They both froze and looked at her, Gaara's head currently in a headlock and Kankuro's nuts about to be pulverized by his younger brother's elbow shoved into his groin. We had learned a lot about the boys this evening, mainly that they both played dirty.

They unlocked and separated, breathing heavily, and looking absolutely crazy. Kankuro's face paint was running, making his entire face a smudgy purple mess. Gaara looked just as bad, his vibrant red hair had turned a rather unpleasant patchy orange color from all the egg in it and was spiking in very strange directions. Both boys were completely covered in all the oil, butter, soy sauce, flour, dried rice, cooked rice, and who-knows-what-else that had been coating the floor before their impromptu fight.

We sent them to go get cleaned up while I used some wind power to propel garbage and food into a trash can that Temari held bravely. I put a little funnel at the end of the trip so that most of the items ended up in the trash can. The kitchen was mostly clean in a few minutes, but both Temari and I had to take showers now, a few things having missed the trashcan and hitting Temari. The retaliatory food-type things tossed in my direction made us evenly dirty. But at least the kitchen looked better.

The boys trotted back down the stairs, both with wet hair and less dressed than when they had left. Kankuro came down first and hadn't bothered to put on a shirt, which left him just wearing his black pants, and was void of makeup for once. I stared, never having seen him without makeup before. I blinked, shocked by how different he looked. He noticed me looking and grinned at me waggling his eyebrows in a ridiculous fashion, "Like what you see?"

To be honest I hadn't even paid any attention to his body, too focused on his normal face to really notice. I scowled, not appreciating the insinuation.

I saw Gaara descending behind him, but couldn't really see him because Kankuro was still standing at the bottom of the staircase, striking a pose now. Gaara's fist came down hard on the top of his head, with an audible thunk. "Move it" he growled. I blinked, shocked by Gaara's use of his fist again.

Kankuro cursed and hopped down off the stairs, rubbing the top of his head and glaring back at Gaara, who strolled down the last few steps as if nothing had happened. _Perhaps this was a normal occurrence?_ I glanced at Temari and she rolled her eyes.

I turned back to look at them, but my gaze immediately went to Gaara, noting that he hadn't put on his red shirt, leaving him in his pants and a black fishnet shirt that came down to his wrists. I gulped, looking at the pale skin beneath the shirt, the holes leaving little to the imagination. He was definitely thinner, not as muscular as Kankuro, but I could easily see the lean muscles that wrapped around his slender frame. His shoulders were still relatively narrow, though they had broadened considerably from when I first saw him at the Chunin exams. He definitely lacked some of the bulk Kankuro had.

I had seen him shirtless once before, after he had been chakra sick after the battle with Seimei, but somehow it was different to see him when he was up and moving around. Plus, it looked like he had grown a little more since then. As before, I found myself feeling quite attracted to his form; his thin, muscular frame making heat crawl up the back of my neck.

I blinked, realizing that I had been staring for too long and averted my gaze, flushing. I heard Temari snickering and I shot her a glare, elbowing her hard. She still snickered, and I growled at her to shut up. Gaara didn't seem to have noticed, but when I chanced a glance at Kankuro he had a knowing smirk in place on his lips and I groaned quietly, knowing that both of them were going to ride me about this one for a while.

I sighed and face palmed, but was immediately reminded that I had crap on my face when I encountered the slimy egg and rice mixture with my palm. I made a disgusted sound and glared at my hand, offended.

"Yeah, uh, it's our turn to take a shower. You boys order some take out. Enough for **all** of us." Temari stated, noting my disgusted expression, and added the last bit sternly and glared at Kankuro. I would suspect that he had been known to get excited and order food for himself, but forget to order for everyone.

She headed up the stairs, going to her room to shower. I hesitated, unsure where I should go, not really wanting to walk all the way back to my apartment covered in disgusting shit.

"You can use mine." Gaara offered, appearing next to me without any warning. I yelped and looked at Gaara sternly for startling me. His face didn't change, and I watched as a droplet of water made its way from his wet hair down the side of his face and then down his neck. I blinked and shook myself out of the strange reverie and looked back up at Gaara who met my flustered gaze calmly. He nodded his head towards the stairs and added, "You know where it is."

I flushed, and nodded, turning to trot up the stairs. I was confronted with the shocked gazes of his siblings, Kankuro leaning against the wall next to the staircase and Temari on the first landing, leaning back down.

I scooted past Kankuro's broadly smirking self and escaped into the stairway, only to hear him address Gaara behind me. "SO…exactly how does she know where your shower is?" I could even hear the smirk in his voice.

I paused, cringing, waiting to see how Gaara would respond. His low gravelly voice drifted up the stairway after a long pause, "She's used it before." He said matter-of-factly, and I winced, knowing that would just make things worse.

Kankuro snickered. "And where were you while she was showering in your shower?"

Another long pause. "In my bedroom." Again, matter-of-factly.

I groaned and face palmed again, regretting it almost immediately as I cringed from the slimy feel of egg against my face.

Kankuro guffawed below me. "I see."

I left before I could hear anymore, slinking up the stairs. Of course then I had to deal with Temari who wanted to ask me a million questions.

She followed me up the stairs and then even up to the second flight of stairs, pestering me with stupid questions. "So what happened?"

"Nothing." I said firmly, continuing up the stairs.

"Really?" she continued to press, still following.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" _This is getting ridiculous!_

"You were in his shower?" She pressed.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Why?"

"Because I needed a shower." I replied, with a sardonic edge.

"Then why didn't you go home to shower?"

"Because …"I growled, getting seriously pissed off.

"Because?"

"Because he was passed out from Chakra loss after fighting whatshisname! Seimei!" I bellowed, finally losing my temper.

She paused, growing serious, remembering how I hadn't left his side that entire time. Not even she and Kankuro had done that, although they would have if I hadn't been there, but I suppose they had felt like we needed privacy. Or something strange like that…they always seemed to have odd ideas about us.

After a brief pause, she grew mischievous again. "Sooooo…"

"So what?" I growled.

"So how did he know you used his shower if he was passed out?"

She had me on that one and for a moment I opened and closed my mouth, stumped. "Well he was passed out when I went in to take a shower."

"So what happened?" Her voice grew teasing.

"Nothing! Happened!" I barked.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Really?!"

"Yes goddammit!" I yelled, pissed off.

She paused and then asked, "Did he walk in on you?"

I couldn't respond, but the way my face flushed answered her for me.

"Oh my god! He did! He did walk in on you taking a shower!" She shouted with glee and I winced shushing her, hearing a new round of mumbled questions starting up below from Kankuro. I hoped he hadn't heard her.

"No he didn't!" I hissed.

"Then why did you blush?"

"W-well, he didn't walk in on me in the shower"

"So you were out of the shower?"

I clenched my teeth, getting more and more pissed off.

"Did he see you naked?" She asked, an evil twinkle in her eye, enjoying my discomfort way too much.

I flushed again, thinking about how he had bandaged my naked back. But he hadn't seen me naked. I already had my pants on and everything. "No." I mumbled.

"Really? Then why are blushing?"

"I was partially dressed, and I had a towel for the important parts!"

"So he saw you in a towel?"

I finally reached my limit, coming to Gaara's door, I shoved it open and then tried to close it, but Temari blocked it with a foot, propping it back open to continue the inquisition.

"For crying out loud Temari! I just want to take a shower! Get out!" She didn't budge, so I continued to yell, getting louder and louder while she just smirked, holding the door open. "Fuck it all! Get out or I'll toss you out on your ass with a gust of wind! Shit! And fuck you! MOVE GODAMMIT!" She still didn't move and I was nearly yanking my own hair out with irritation. Overcome with frustration I gave up on words and simply shrieked at her with fury.

She leaned back a little, but her smirk only increased in size.

I heard a rush of sand behind me and turned, my breath heaving. Gaara stood behind me, his arms crossed and a dark look on his face. He scowled at Temari. "I don't remember telling you to use my shower Temari." He growled.

She chuckled nervously and said, "It's just in good fun Gaara, I was just asking some questions. Don't get all bent out of shape!"

He narrowed his eyes and the cork popped out of his gourd. "If Ren doesn't use her jutsu to toss you down the stairs, I will."

Temari hastily backed up, and turned to make her way down the stairs of her own accord. The sand slammed the door shut and locked it, the loud click making me flinch as I realized that I was in Gaara's bedroom with him, alone, with the door locked. Temari and Kankuro were going to give me so much shit about this later.

But for now at last I could take a shower. I heaved a sigh of relief and went into the bathroom, peeling off my shirt before I even got to the door, my clothes so disgusting that I really didn't care that Gaara was in the room with me. And besides, he had seen me with only my breast wrap on before, it was nothing special. Even so, I thought I heard him choke behind me.

"You okay?" I asked pausing to shoot a concerned look over my shoulder.

"Yes. Go shower." His voice was muffled because his hand was over his face.

 _Okaaaay._ I shrugged and closed the bathroom door behind me, shedding my equally disgusting pants with gusto as I leapt into the shower with urgency. I turned on the water before I remembered that I still had on my breast wraps. "Shit!" I yelped, loudly and several octaves above my normal vocal range, both from the cold water and the fact that I would now have to dry out my bandages before rewrapping my chest.

"Everything all right in there?" I heard Gaara yell, the sound muffled like he wasn't right up against the door, but perhaps was on his bed or something.

"Yep. Nothing to worry about!" I yelled back, cussing under my breath as I worked to get the wet cloth unwrapped from around me. That was another problem, it was ten times more difficult to unwrap when it was wet. I finally got it unraveled and tossed it over the shower rod. I sighed as I washed all the crap off with soap, feeling relief so great that I groaned loudly in pleasure, the egg in particular had been getting unbearably sticky.

I heard some loud noise from the bedroom, it sounded as though something had been sent crashing to the ground, or possibly the wall. I frowned. "What the hell is going on out there Gaara?!"

"Nothing!" again muffled.

I shrugged, blowing it off. _Gaara being weird? Not really all that unusual_.

After washing myself thoroughly, twice, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I only saw one towel, and it was still a little damp from Gaara having just used it. I swallowed, refusing to think about why the thought of using his towel made me nervous, and just a little excited, like I was doing something I shouldn't be. But in a good way.

I wasn't gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole. _Nope, not happening._ Remaining oblivious was much better.

I hesitated and then went for it, grabbing his towel and briskly drying myself, pausing only once to guiltily absorb his scent as I wrapped it around myself, the spicy sandy smell that was Gaara enveloping me and almost making me giddy. Again, I was not going to think about it.

I was about to put the towel away when I realized that I had nothing else to wear, aside from my panties which I quickly pulled on to give myself a little security. _Well Shit._

I flushed and walked to the bathroom door, pausing with my hand on the nob. I sighed and knocked my forehead once against the door, and then cracked it open a smidge, peeking out, making sure to keep my body behind it.

"Um Gaara?"

I saw him lying across his bed at a diagonal, his arm tossed over his eyes. The arm slid off and he turned his head to look at me.

"I would rather not put back on the clothes that have egg and shit all over them, so…"

He blinked, and then sat up, and I could see the muscles in his stomach flexing through his damn shirt. I shut my eyes too late and now all I could see was that. "Fuck." I muttered under my breath, not needing anything like that in my brain. I was already giddy just from the scent coming off his towel, visuals like that weren't helping my cause to try and stay obtuse.

I opened my eyes again to see him digging through a dresser drawer. He came back with some black clothes folded in his hands and walked over to where I was peeking through a crack in the door.

I opened the door enough that I could grab the clothes out of his hand, "Thanks Gaara." I mumbled, a little embarrassed.

He simply walked back to the bed and lay down again, sighing heavily. I blinked and then closed the door again, evaluating what he had given me. It was one of his old black t-shirts and black pants, the sort that he had worn to the Chunin exams. I chuckled, never having thought that I would wear these clothes.

I put his towel away and slipped the shirt over my head, the material soft against my skin, and I was reminded that I wouldn't be able to wear my breast wraps for a while. It felt strange to feel the material against the skin of my chest, but not unpleasant. I pulled the pants up, and they fit okay, coming up halfway on my calves, but then that's the way they were supposed to fit, sort of gathered at the bottom. Both of us had grown a little taller since then, so the shirt rode up a little and the pants rested on my hips, exposing a couple inches of skin in between. I was _so_ glad that that stupid red tattoo jutsu thing on my belly had finally completely faded away; it had been the bane of my existence for the few weeks it stuck around.

And then I snorted, thinking that I almost wanted to see what the outfit would look like with his white sash and belts, just for fun, but I doubted he would appreciate me hogging all his clothes. Of course he was only wearing his fishnet shirt so it wouldn't really matter.

 _Wait…Damn_ …I looked in the mirror a little closer and groaned, noticing that my scar was visible. I poked my head out again. "Hey Gaara? You got any bandages or anything in here?"

Without looking at me he said gruffly. "Beneath the sink."

"Okay. Thanks."

I closed the door and looked where he had told me to look. I found some small bandages that would work to cover the scar on my hip, but nothing long enough to replace my breast bandage. Which was fine, I would have felt kind of bad for using up that much of his supply.

I sighed and looked back into the mirror, applying the bandage to cover the scar on my hip and then scrutinizing my appearance otherwise. Without my breast wraps on I couldn't help but note that my breasts seemed noticeably larger than normal. I guess I had gotten used to wrapping then relatively tightly, pressing them close to my chest for ease of movement, so it was strange to see them like this under clothes. Even more irritatingly, I quickly discovered that they moved a little when I moved. I would have to remember not to hop or do anything particularly bouncy until my wraps had dried.

 _Oh well…_ I shrugged. It was still better than putting on soggy wet breast wraps and wearing my food covered clothes. I opened the door and walked back out into the room, padding on bare feet since I needed to wash my shoes too. I gathered up my dirty shirt off the floor and piled them on the pants I was already holding gingerly away from my body. I would need to put these in a bag so I could take them home with me and wash them properly.

I noticed that Gaara was still lying on his bed, still diagonal, and still with his arm flung over his eyes. _Maybe he has a headache?_

"Hey Gaara? You feeling okay?" I asked, walking to the foot of the bed and looking down on him, which perhaps wasn't the best idea on my part, since looking at him all sprawled out like that on his bed while wearing that damned fishnet shirt was going to be in my head for a good long while. I forced myself to focus only on the arm covering his face and not look at any part of his body other than that, deciding that would be the best way for me to keep my sanity.

He seemed to be ignoring me. I growled, not liking the fact that I couldn't see his eyes, since that was usually how he responded when he didn't talk, which was almost always. I grabbed one of his ankles, the one not dangling off the side of the bed and gave him a yank, not particularly hard, just enough to skootch him down less than an inch, still keeping my gaze firmly on his head. "Yo! Earth to Gaara! Hellooooo?!"

As soon as I grabbed his ankle and yanked, his arm flopped off his face with dramatic speed revealing his shocked face, his eyes super wide at first at my audacity. He quickly schooled his expression back to absolute zero on the scale of Gaara, which was his normal blank mask.

I let go of his ankle, and crossed my arms, "The food is probably ready, if Kankuro remembered to order it. Are you going to come down and eat, or are you trying to sleep?"

He didn't answer and it appeared that he wasn't even paying attention to what I was saying. His eyes were looking lower than my face and he seemed to be thoroughly distracted by something. I looked down, and noticed that when I had crossed my arms I had accidently pushed up my breasts, which I had almost forgotten were unbound. I sighed, exasperated and uncrossed my arms, tugging the shirt out looser. I lifted the wet bandages that were currently slung over my shoulder up with a finger and held it out for Gaara to see.

His gaze shifted from my chest to the white strip of obviously wet fabric that was now dripping over him. "I was a little too eager to get that damn egg out of my face, so I forgot about this before I got in the shower." I said by way of explanation, since he seemed to be taken aback and confused by my sudden figure change.

It appeared that he finally figured out what I was showing him because his eyes widened a smidge and flicked back and forth between my chest and the white strip of soggy fabric for a second before he cleared his throat and averted his eyes.

I snickered at the faint blush that rose to his cheeks, but I didn't hassle him about it this time, not wanting him to be flustered in front of his brother and sister. I put the strip back over my shoulder and walked to the door and attempting to open it, before remembering that it was locked. Huffing in slight embarrassment at the reminder that I had been locked in with Gaara in his bedroom for the past twenty minutes or so, I unlocked the door and made to walk down the stairs, pausing when I heard a suspicious pitter patter of quiet footsteps hurrying down the stairs below.

I narrowed my eyes and sent a wind to sense whether or not Kankuro and Temari had been doing what I thought they had been doing. And sure enough they were currently hustling down the last few stairs, from where they had probably been eavesdropping. _Those little gossip mongers_. I directed the breeze to come up behind them and give them a sturdy shove, making them stumble a little and cringe when they knew they had been caught.

I walked down the stairs and gave them a serious glare, "Did you two really just do what I think you did?" Temari refused to look at me while Kankuro was looking a little too hard, his eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he ogled my clothes. "What?!" I snapped at him.

He blinked and looked at me, then looked back down at my outfit. Temari looked over when I snapped and looked at me too, her eyes also looking surprised. "Are those Gaara's clothes?" She asked, pointing.

"Yes. And do you have a bag I could put these in?" I asked pointing to the nasty clothes I was still holding.

Kankuro seemed to shake himself back from wherever he had lapsed off to and said, "Wait, you're wearing Gaara's clothes?" as Temari ran off to find me a bag.

"Yes. I just said that." I was surprised when he laughed.

I didn't get the joke, but both Temari and Kankuro seemed to think that me wearing Gaara's clothes meant something other than I just had dirty clothes. I sighed, their minds working in ways that I refused to let myself ponder on. I already knew that they thought we were a 'thing' since that time they had cornered me and asked all those questions, and today's events probably hadn't helped.

But letting myself think too hard about exactly what they were imagining meant letting my mind go places that I firmly never let it go, into dangerous uncharted territory that I had blocked off with a chain link fence in my mind. Complete with barbed wire.

Being in denial was so nice sometimes; it let you really be obtuse when you needed to be.

But still not as obtuse as Kankuro. "So … is it just Gaara's shirt or did your boobs get bigger?" He asked, managing to time it perfectly to when Gaara came down the stairs.

Everyone froze as Gaara finished the last few steps, and glared at Kankuro, an evil aura beginning to leak from his person, making the whole room drop a few degrees. Temari thankfully diffused the situation by smacking Kankuro on the back of his head, hard enough that he was sent staggering a few steps forward. "Ow Temari! What was that for?"

"You know what it was for. You just don't say things like that Kankuro!" She firmly scolded, wagging her finger under his nose.

"But I was just making an observation! And they really do look bigger!" He complained rubbing his head.

Gaara growled low in his chest, louder than usual, even for him. It was a deadly noise and unsurprisingly Kankuro flinched. I guess he had forgotten that Gaara was still in the room, although why that should be a problem I didn't know, since Kankuro made all sorts of tactless comments in front of Gaara all the time.

I sighed, knowing that this would be a problem. "I simply got the bandages I use to wrap my chest, wet in the shower. It's no big deal. Stop being so fucking tense you guys. I'm hungry, what do we have to eat?"

Kankuro made an 'ah-ha' sort of sound while Gaara crossed his arms and continued to scowl at his older brother. Temari just shook her head and ushered us all into the kitchen to eat.

After dinner I gathered up my bag of clothes and made to leave, thanking everyone for the food. As I left I was surprised that Gaara followed me, now wearing his dark red shirt over the fishnet. I didn't ask him what he was doing, simply letting him walk beside me. I guessed that either he had an errand to run in a similar direction to the one I was going, or else he was going to walk me home. I secretly hoped it was the later, and then smacked myself metaphorically in the face, berating myself for getting too sentimental again.

Eventually the curiosity got to me and I had to ask, "So … did you just feel like taking a walk?"

"I would like to walk you home, if it doesn't bother you." He answered in his gravelly voice, finally speaking. He had been particularly withdrawn tonight, and I was a little worried that it was something I had done.

"I don't mind, I'm glad you decided to join me. I enjoy your company." I immediately reran my sentence through my mind, trying to determine if I had sounded too emotional or stupid, but after detailed analysis I determined that it was okay.

It was always like this with Gaara, I would get too attached and then have to try and withdraw a little emotionally, since he was already so important to me, and I secretly knew that I had very deep feelings for him. Even if those feelings were much nicer unacknowledged, it was better for me if I tried not to get even more attached to him, as difficult as it was. I couldn't risk being hurt again, but it was difficult to guard against everything I might say and still be relaxed around him. Sometimes I felt so guarded that I was tense, other times I relaxed too much, and that was when I said stupid shit. But even so, it was always nice to be around him because I could simply be myself with him in a way I couldn't with anyone else.

I just had to be myself…carefully.

I shook myself from my thoughts and distracted myself by thinking back over the day, which reminded me... "By the way, would you like to train with me tomorrow? I was planning on working on my Taijutsu …" I asked, hoping that I didn't offend him by suggesting that he wasn't good at Taijutsu. Of course he _wasn't_ good at it, but I still didn't want to draw too much attention to that fact.

He frowned, but then his brow smoothed as he seemed to seriously contemplate my offer, "Perhaps that is a good idea. I will join you. What time?"

"I guess earlier in the morning before it gets too hot …"

He nodded and we continued on in companionable silence until we reached my apartment. I paused in front of my door, suddenly feeling awkward for some odd reason. I turned to smile at him, "Well, thanks for walking me home, see you tomorrow?"

He nodded and disappeared in a puff of sand.

I scoffed, "Showoff"

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So I hope you enjoyed chapter 1 of Burn with Me. Eventually, once they are completely finished, I may repost them both as two separate stories, but for now, I'm just going to post them here, to make it easier for all my beloved followers. :3

BTW did anyone happen to notice that the summary for the story has been changed along with the title? ;)


	40. Burn With Me: Chapter 2

I groaned as the harsh morning light hit my eyelids, "…wha?" I blinked at the clock next to my bed. It was reading 8:00, right about when I should be meeting Gaara at the training grounds. "OH SHIT!"

I jumped out of bed and glanced down, remembering that I had decided to wear his clothes to bed last night and they looked a little rumpled, betraying that fact.

"Oh well …" I shrugged, deciding that I would just wear these clothes. They were comfortable, would work well for training, and for some reason I didn't want to take them off just yet.

I ping-ponged around my apartment, grabbing a cereal bar and brushing my teeth before eating it, while at the same time grabbing a fresh bandage from my stash and quickly wrapping my chest, lifting the shirt up under my armpits so I could just drop it back down over the completed task.

There was no way I was going to go train without wrapping my chest first, no bouncy nonsense while doing Taijutsu. I finished my first cereal bar and grabbed another one as I ran out the door, unused to the feel of the hem of the shirt rubbing against my sides from where it landed a few inches above my pants line. Thankfully I still had the bandage masking my scar on from last night, so I hadn't had to waste any time reapplying it. Gaara had seen it already, but that didn't mean that I wanted to display it for everyone in the Sand Village to see.

I ran to the training grounds, skidding to a halt in front of Gaara who was, of course, already there. "Sorry … I overslept," I gasped, bending over to hold on to my knees and wheezed pathetically.

He blinked, ignoring my gasped apology as he looked me over, "You're still wearing that?" He inquired, his voice oddly a little gruff.

"Oh yeah, I uh, well I fell asleep in it last night, and as I said I overslept so I just…does it bother you?" I wheezed anxiously, worried that I had offended him.

He quickly shook his head, an odd gleam in his eyes, looking almost pleased. _Well…good, I guess._ I shrugged it off as another weird Gaara thing, and after catching my breath I stood back up and took a battle stance.

I paused, giving Gaara a once over and realizing a big problem, "Um you're gonna need to take that off." I gestured at Gaara's gourd. "Taijutsu remember?"

He startled and looked back at it, almost seeming surprised, "Oh right, I suppose that makes sense." He rumbled softly and then his gourd turned to sand, the whole thing, and swirled over to about ten feet away where it reformed.

I blinked, surprised, "Neat trick." I commented. He just shrugged, like it was nothing.

Before getting back into my battle stance I paused again to say, "Now you had better control your sand, this is Taijutsu, so no blocking with your sand. Got it?"

He nodded, and I slid into a battle stance again. He did the same. It was odd to see him in an actual battle stance instead of doing his stationary crossed arm position that he usually did when fighting. After a moment, I attacked, curious to see if he could in fact keep his sand from defending him.

I went for a simple face punch and sure enough, his sand rushed to his defense. I paused, midair, my fist hovering in front of the sand barrier, and gave him a sour look. He frowned, seeming displeased that he had been unable to keep it from doing what it normally did. A twitch of his hand sent it back and he nodded for me to continue. I switched fists and came in for an up close gut punch, pausing again when his sand swirled a little in the air in front of him. He appeared to be concentrating hard on keeping it away.

Finally I sighed, "This is a different kind of training. How about I just lock down your gourd like I did last night and we continue?"

He looked a little uneasy but nodded. I sent a brisk wind to encircle his sand, at least the sand in his gourd. Of course there was sand all around us that he could use, but the sand in his gourd was infused with his chakra so it would respond much more quickly as his weaponized sand.

Once I completed setting up a sturdy wind barrier, using an actual jutsu this time so it would hold without me having to concentrate on it, I nodded at him and we began again. I made the first move again and went for another face punch. Gaara successfully blocked my punch with his forearm, and then twisted and grabbed my wrist, pulling me forward to try and put me in an arm hold. I twisted out of it easily before he got me too close and went for a leg sweep, which he also managed to avoid, albeit a bit clumsily. He was better than I had thought, but then again I had been going easy on him.

I upped the ante, sending a volley of punches aimed at his head and upper body, and then turned swiftly to elbow him in the gut. He grunted when I connected, the sound right in my ear since his head was basically right there over my shoulder. I twisted back towards him to hit the heel of my palm under his chin and I heard his teeth click together. _Ouch._

He staggered backwards and I leapt away, watching him from a distance. This was training so I wasn't going to go easy on him anymore, but I didn't enjoy hurting him either.

He regarded me with a heated look, almost looking just a tad ticked off. I just shrugged at him, not apologizing. He rubbed his jaw, grumbling low in his chest, and then took up his battle stance again. I wiggled my fingers at him, wanting him to start this time.

He growled and rushed me. I spun away from his attack and turned around to send a kick at his back. He took the glancing blow as he bent low, and then he kicked a leg out backwards, nearly landing a hit on my shin. I jumped away at the last moment.

He turned around and sent another kick at me which I blocked with my forearm, wincing as the impact made a bruise. I grabbed his foot, and locked it underneath my armpit, knowing that I could break his leg if I chose, but not going to go that far. I twisted his leg and yanked, sending him flat on his back with another grunt. He kicked with the other leg and I had to release his ankle to avoid it.

Springing back to his feet, he sent another punch at me. I blocked, but missed the other fist that he sent towards my diaphragm. I coughed as he made contact, knocking the breath out of my lungs. I leapt away and wheezed for a moment, working on regaining my breath.

We continued in that same vein for some time, but I gained the upper hand after a while. He wasn't used to this sort of physical combat, so he tired quickly, making it easier for me to land punches and kicks. I ended the match by punching him hard in the gut, which forced him to bend over with a grunt, at which point I grabbed his arm, twisting it up behind him and forcing him down with my elbow behind his neck. I landed with a knee squarely in his back, him huffing as I did so, one of my hands pinning his wrist behind his back and my other hand pinning his shoulder to the ground. His face turned to the side and he glared up at me out of the corner of his eye, laying there pinned firmly beneath me and panting into the dirt.

This sort of opportunity didn't usually present itself so I couldn't resist teasing him just a little, "Had enough yet?" I asked sweetly, smirking. I felt his responding growl vibrate my knee where it was wedged at the small of his back.

I heard a snicker and looked up just in time to see Kankuro and Temari walking towards us. Knowing them, they had probably been watching for a while. As they applauded, I let Gaara up from the ground, almost reluctantly. Yet another thing to add to my list of things that I didn't want to overanalyze.

After that incident I noticed Gaara was present more often when I was training. I couldn't help but pay attention to what he was doing when we were both on the training fields, part of my concentration on him and the other part on my own training. It appeared that by defeating him so soundly, I had inspired him to train harder, specifically to work on his Taijutsu. Sometimes I even noticed him sparring with Kankuro or Baki, and I enjoyed watching him learn how to control his sand without me around to wrap it up. It took him a while, but eventually he could take a blow without his sand intervening, but it took a lot of his concentration.

I also noticed that when he trained with his sand now he seemed to be doing combo moves, where he could enhance a physical attack with sand, or vice a versa, similar to how I could power up a punch with wind chakra or increase the speed of a wind jutsu by physically moving my body.

I always enjoyed watching him, sometimes pausing my training entirely and just letting myself admire the grace with which he moved and the growing strength in his blows. He had already been in great shape, since he was a ninja, so the training progressed quickly, and soon I could see him improving at a swift pace. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him beat the snot out of Kankuro in a match finally after several hard months of training.

It was one such day when we were both on the training grounds doing our various training, when I was hit in the head with a sand ball. I glared at Gaara, knowing that he wanted to goad me into sparring with him again. His choice of announcement was certainly interesting.

I rose to the challenge. Actually I had wanted to spar with him again myself, curious to see just how much he had improved. "Challenge accepted Gaara!" I yelled, and jogged over to where he was standing, with his arms crossed of course. "But really all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to assault me with your sand."

I wasn't sure what sort of match we would be having so I let him make the first move. He attacked with sand, but slid into a battle stance as he did so, guiding the sand with movements from his body. I dodged the sand and blocked the next stream with a gust of wind. The sounds of our two elements collided; the loud whoosh of my wind against the hissing of his sand came together like a clap of thunder. I noticed out of the corners of my eyes that all the other ninja currently training started backing away, and stopped their own training to watch in a huge ring around us. And yes, Kankuro and Temari were there too. I mostly ignored the crowd though, my focus taken up entirely by Gaara's sand, which was faster and more intense than it had ever been before, controlled with an iron fist as he leaned this way or that, moving his arms in sync with the sand, using his new Taijutsu to enhance his control over his sand. I was impressed, and also a little excited. I couldn't wait to push him as hard as I could.

I grinned broadly and a burst of laughter exploded from my chest, the exertion and rush I got from freeing all my chakra in such an intense sparring match filling me with savage delight. It felt like we were dancing, our two elements entwining as I blocked his sand and sent my own attacks. I used all my practice, using the jutsu I had slowly been perfecting for the first time in combat for real.

I swayed, loosening my body as I let the wind guide me. As I allowed my chakra to slowly leak out into the air around my body, I began to feel every little change in the wind, all the little currants becoming almost an extension of myself. Broadening my senses, I let the wind sense Gaara's sand, twining my wind sinuously around the streams of flying sediment.

I spread my legs, widening my balance and crouched low to avoid a claw of sand careening above my head. Lifting back up I spun and twisted, curving this way and that, sometimes bending backwards sometimes forwards, swaying from side to side as I let his sand go this way or that way past me, avoiding most of his attacks, though a few snuck by my defenses.

Gaara was essentially moving the same way to my surprise, except his movements mimicked his element, just like mine did. He moved gracefully, but more sharply, more aggressively, not loosening as much as I did. But that worked for him, he put more force into his movements. At this point, it truly felt as though we were dancing, the metaphor almost becoming reality.

I dodged a wave of sand but discovered to my surprise that Gaara had snuck up on me, using his sand as a cover. I dodged the sand only to run strait into Gaara's fist. I gasped, and quickly called wind to my arms, blocking his next punch. Then he jumped back when I lashed out with a wind covered fist and landed a good ways away.

 _So that's the way it's going to be. Alright Gaara…you asked for it._

He managed to hook some sand around my ankle and yanked my feet out from under me, dragging me closer to him, where I could only assume he planned to do something I wouldn't enjoy very much. I waited till the last minute before summoning my wind blade, slicing through his sand and using the continued momentum to slide sideways and send a kick out, aiming for his legs. I did it fast enough that I got pretty close before his sand blocked. I pushed off the sand shield and flipped upright.

We paused for a second, regarding each other. After a moment I summoned wind to my feet, using my Telaria Jutsu and darted forwards, going for a low punch. He dodged, showing that he didn't have to waste sand on a shield if he chose not to, and sent his sand instead to curve around me and smack me on the back of the head. I ducked under it, knowing that it was there. I braced on an air current that I stiffened, and twisted my body around in midair to send a kick at Gaara's head. He ducked underneath my kick but came back up in time to grab the side of my shirt, pulling me out of the air and down. I met his chest with an elbow, and he grunted and abruptly released me, but only for a second as one hand reached up to hook me around my throat, yanking me back and flush against him. At the same time, he slammed his elbow down on my upper arm, forcing my elbow down and out of his chest area.

I yelped as he pinned my arms against my sides by wrapping his arm around me and squeezing harshly, pulling me back by my neck as well. I arched my back, suddenly and as fast and hard as I could, banging the back of my head against his mouth and chin. I heard him grunt as his arm loosened in surprise, just enough that I could twist my upper body out of the neck-hold he had on me, and turned to face him.

Both sand and wind were having a smack down around us, creating random streams that crashed against each other, mimicking how we were grappling with each other.

He sent a fist snapping out, and I didn't have enough room to dodge so I took a glancing blow to the side of my face as I tilted slightly to lessen the blow. I did manage to snag his wrist and pull him towards me to send a fist into his gut. He grunted and twisted his arm out of my grip as he kicked one leg forward between my feet, stepping forward and bringing his thigh and hip up hard against my groin, which knocked me off balance, and also kind of hurt. With my center of gravity disestablished, he already had me going backwards towards the ground, but made sure I couldn't recover by hitting me with his palm in the very center of my chest, making my back collide hard into the ground.

I tucked my hands under me and kicked out with both feet landing a double kick to his chest. His sand snuck in and shielded him, and tried to capture my feet but I used a wind funnel to knock it off.

This battle lasted a while, both of us combining element jutsu with Taijutsu and I realized that the more I sparred with him the more I enjoyed it, not the pain, but just being able to have some sort of physical contact with him. Which in and of itself would actually be quite disturbing if I stopped to think about it, which is exactly why I didn't do that.

We both started to tire, but this time it seemed as though Gaara had the upper hand in the later part of our battle.

I managed to knock Gaara to the ground again, this time with a powerful gust of wind that I wrapped around my fist and upper arm with a twisting corkscrew current so it could tunnel through his sand. It was tricky because I had to aim it just right, making it super sharp and powerful like a drill to get through his ultimate defense sand barrier, combining that with taking him by surprise so his sand didn't have time to harden quite so much. But then as soon as I broke through I had to soften the tip so I wouldn't puncture Gaara, blunting it into a fist instead that sent him flying. As soon as I broke through and had him flying, it was easy enough to get the rest of my body through the sand, my momentum breaking up the rest of the sediment that was hauling ass to his defense.

He didn't have enough time to get up since I used my momentum to aide me in pinning him to the ground, landing hard with my knees on either side of his waist, which kind of hurt my pelvic bone and must not have been very fun on his end either, since he let out a gasp and a grunt as my weight came down on him. I felt all his muscles tense up into hard bands beneath me and I refused to think about how that felt between my thighs.

Perhaps this hadn't been a great idea on my part.

Ignoring the awkward position, I summoned my Wind Blade Jutsu to one arm and pointed it at his neck, signaling match over. Or at least that's what I thought, but suddenly I felt a strange shift between my thighs as sand suddenly covered his stomach, rising up to cover my thighs and hips in a stone-like vice grip, locking my ankles to my thighs.

"Oh hell to the no …" I muttered, knowing this wasn't good.

The sand locked in tight restraints around my thighs and calves, tying them securely together, and then one strand zipped up my side faster than I could react to and twined around the arm with the wind blade, pushing it up and away from Gaara. At the same time, Gaara's hands came up, one grabbing my other wrist and one going for my throat.

He seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with choking his opponents. Not that I had necessarily seen him doing it to any of his other sparring partners, so maybe it was just me. _Yay, I feel so special…_

He lunged upwards using his hand on my throat to push me back, and then down until my shoulders met the ground with a thud. And now I found myself on my back, his hands firmly holding me down, one on my neck, the other holding my wrist immobile on the ground next to my shoulder with an iron grip, and the sand slammed my other arm down strait above my head. The bands of sand around my legs kept them folded heel to ass, meaning that I could put my feet on the ground, sort of, but couldn't use them to push off the ground to try and buck him off or unfold them to kick out.

I was completely immobilized and utterly helpless beneath him, which of course meant that he had won.

The disturbing thing about this situation was the fact that he was still between my legs, and _that_ was becoming increasingly awkward, that and the flush crawling up my neck, which he was still holding. There was nothing for me to do but simply go limp and submit to defeat.

It was a bit embarrassing, particularly the way in which I was defeated, but on the other hand I was rather proud of Gaara.

He stared down at me for a moment and then a slow, subtle smirk crept onto his lips, holding my attention with the novelty of it. "Had enough yet?" He rumbled sardonically, and I snorted, remembering the words I had teased him with in our previous match. I noted that snorting with his hand on my throat felt very strange.

"Okay you win," I sighed, breathing heavily, out of breath from both the battle and the shock of suddenly having the tables turned like that.

Then, naturally, before we could disengage I heard a loud catcall, which was followed by wolf whistles and other such nonsense. I would bet anything the first one was from Kankuro, the ass. Gaara's hands twitched from where they pinned me down and then released me, his sand slowly slithering off me as well, which always felt a little strange, almost alive in that weird sinuous way it moved over my body. I shivered. The sensation gave me goosebumps, but as always it was actually surprisingly pleasant, if perhaps a little ticklish. He slowly got off me and let me get up, both of us sending evil glares in Kankuro's direction, knowing that he was the one who started all the hooting and hollering. Which was still going on.

He flinched and hid behind Temari. All of Gaara's sand slid back into his gourd, and we could see the damage we had inflicted on the training grounds. Looked like we would have to do yet another resurfacing, having left various scars in the ground all over the place.

I sighed, "Alright, I've got this side," I muttered and turned, facing my back to his.

We stood back to back in the center of the destruction zone, and I sent a stiff breeze to smooth out one side while Gaara did the same with his sand on the other side. And then we made our way out of the field, the crowd slowly dispersing, although I overheard a few of the ninja that had the audacity to make some rather suggestive comments aimed at me. They kept their voices low though, and the few that were unlucky enough to have been loud enough for Gaara to hear were rewarded with an acidic glare from the red head beside me.

I left to go get something to eat, Gaara staying behind for the moment. I hoped it was to give Kankuro a lecture, but since he was so taciturn that would consist of him mostly just standing and glaring at Kankuro quietly for an hour, maybe half an hour, until Kankuro broke and apologized.

As amusing as that was to watch, I had seen it before and was really hungry so I set off, taking a leisurely pace through the streets to try and regain my breath along the way, feeling rather fatigued after the vigorous training. I hadn't had such a good workout in a long time.

 **End Chapter 2**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Yeah, I'm gonna take a break from the music list thing 'cause it was taking too long. I'll just put up the lists later as an update to the chapters as I get around to it. Unless anyone really likes the music lists, if you do, message me and I'll see what I can do, otherwise, yeah.

I hope everyone enjoyed the new chapter.

:3


	41. Burn With Me: Chapter 3

After a minute, I noticed a couple of guys following me. They were fellow ninjas by the look of them, and judging by the amount of sand and sweat on their clothing they had come from training themselves. I couldn't imagine what they wanted though. They were buddies from what I could tell, by the way they were muttering to each other.

They walked up beside me, flanking me on either side. I glanced at one and then the other, noting the rather nasty looking smirks they had on their faces and immediately knew that whatever they planned was going to be rude and not very pleasant for me.

"So…" one of them began, "You're Sabaku's little bitch, huh?" I twitched, determined to not respond to what either of them had to say, but a little surprised by the direction they were taking.

Idiot Number Two joined in, "Yeah, she must have a sweet pussy to tame that monster, maybe that's why he's been so mellow lately? Finally got some?"

Number One guffawed and I clenched my fists, not amused and feeling a little sick to my stomach really.

"Yeah that kid sure was a monster, he'd just stick his hand out and…" the first guy mimed squeezing his fist. I assumed he meant Gaara's sand coffin/sand burial jutsu. "…and boom, you spatter everywhere. Maybe he just hadn't learned where he should squeeze." He laughed nastily and made a back and forth hand motion in front of his crotch.

I actively refused to think about what _that_ was implying. I was smart enough that I had a good idea about what the crude gesture meant, even if I hadn't had any experience with the male anatomy personally. But I absolutely refused to let my mind put … _that sort of_ _thing_ … anywhere near _Gaara_ in my head.

I scowled and sped up just a tad, eager to have the guys get lost. The second guy laughed and continued along the same thought, "Yeah maybe he was just taking his sexual frustration out on the village … good thing he has someone he can stick it to now, eh?" And he elbowed me mockingly, really getting me close to the edge. One more word out of these two and I was afraid I might just do something the old Gaara might have done.

"Man, if she can fuck a monster like him she can fuck anyone, right Yaki?" he addressed the other guy, Yaki apparently.

Dumbass Number One jumped in with, "Yeah Sora, I was just thinking the same thing. Plus, I heard she's taken one of _those_ missions, and you know what they say, Konoichi do that sort of thing on the job all the time, using their pussies to blindside the enemy."

 _Okay, now I'm gonna kill them._

"Bastards!" I snarled and went for the guy who just said the last thing, really pissed off at him in particular right now for that last dig. I punched him square in the face, sending him flying, but Dumbass Number Two managed to catch me from behind, hooking my arms together at the elbow behind my back. It didn't feel very good, my body not really meant to bend that particular way. And that only ticked me off more.

Stupid Number One scraped himself off the wall, and massaged his jaw, looking a little pissed off. "Wow, for a bitch you sure are feisty. How'd you manage to not get yourself killed by your demon master yet?"

Stupid Number Two chuckled behind me and said, "Yeah do we have to beat you like your monster fuck buddy to get between those pretty thighs of yours? Like _he_ did a few minutes ago?"

Stupid the First jumped in with, "In front of everyone too, you guys must be pretty kinky to do stuff like that in public."

I flushed, really not appreciating the whole _'oh yeah she's fucking Gaara, that's why he doesn't kill her and takes her down in front of everybody by getting in between her legs'_ thing. It was getting seriously fucking old. I growled, not particularly concerned, even though I was pretty tired after sparring with Gaara. That was the only thing that saved Dumb and Dumber from being dead meat already.

I blew some sweaty hair out of my face and waited for Stupid to get in range. As soon as he did, I gave him a nice hard kick upside the head, sending him once again flying into the wall. Stupid Number Two behind me cussed and called out to his buddy to make sure he was okay. He should have been more concerned about himself. I ducked my head down and then threw it back as hard as I could, connecting sharply with what I could only assume was his jaw and cheekbone, judging by the clacking of his teeth behind me.

I didn't particularly enjoy it either, the quick harsh contact sending pain shooting through the back of my skull, but it got him to let me go. I ignored the throbbing in my head and bent forwards sending one leg out behind as I twisted my body to the side to give him a nice round house kick to his side. I tucked the leg back in after the kick landed and spun with the momentum to come up from beneath him with a sharp uppercut to the chin, knocking his head back and sending him flying. While he went down, Dumb Ass Number One was just getting back up, not knowing what was good for him.

"What the hell you fucking whore? You only get off on demons or something? We're not bad enough for you?"

I rolled my eyes to the heavens, contemplated simply walking away for a second, and then decided, _hell no._

I turned to him and stalked over, punching him in the face again and knocking him back down. "And stay down asshole!" I growled, _beyond_ over it.

He was toppling over when I heard, "Holy shit! What the hell did these guys do to piss you off?!"

I sighed, "Kankuro, how do you always manage to show up at the strangest moments possible?"

I looked over my shoulder to see all three siblings trotting over to me, but my attention was drawn to Ass Number Two, who had somewhat recovered from the chin shot. It was like trying to play whack-a-mole with these guys, I hit them once just for them to pop back up again, and it was starting to really piss me off. And I was already _really_ pissed off.

Kankuro started to answer my previous question, but I cut him off with, "hold that thought," as I walked over to Stupid the Second.

He managed to show just how stupid he was by completely missing the audience that we had acquired and spouting off at the mouth again, "You little violent-ass bitch! I don't know how Gaara manages to fuck that pussy of yours since it probably brutalizes his dick! Maybe he has to beat the shit out of you to get you to take it. Is that why you're in such a bad mood? Or is it the other way around and you just need a good screw?"

I don't know how he managed to pack so much filth into the amount of time it took me to get from one side of the alleyway to the other, but it was pretty impressive. I responded with the appropriate amount of force.

The round house kick that smacked him in the side of the head this time was so vicious that he ricocheted off the wall and into my fist that was waiting for him right at sternum level. He coughed, wheezed, and finally passed the fuck out. Sometimes ninja stamina really required you to put a stern beat down on someone before they just would shut the hell up.

I stood there, arms crossed in an unconscious Gaara pose, giving him the hairy eyeball for a second to make sure that he really was down this time, not really wanting to come back over here again.

Of course naturally the first one wasn't down yet, very slowly pulling himself upright by pulling himself up the wall. I sighed and turned around, cocking my head to the side as I observed the stupidity unfold, again this asshole proved he was stupid as all get out.

"Woah there," he held his hands up in front of himself to ward me off as I started stomping back across the alley. I paused, not sure I was mad enough to still beat him up if he was gonna beg for his life or something pathetic like that. "This was all Sora's idea! I told him it was a bad idea but he was all like, 'No it'll be great, we can get back at Gaara by messing up his fuck toy, maybe we can even fuck her too. She's gotta be super easy since she takes it from him.' And I was like, 'Naw man, this is a bad idea, she's gotta be super strong to be able to fuck _him_ without … you know dying and shit.' But then he was like, 'Yeah, but that's the great thing, she'll be tough as nails so I bet we can even fuck her up the ass!' But I said, 'Hell no man! Gaara will fuck our shit up if we screw her.' So really I'm on your side!"

I wasn't sure what was worse, the direct aggressive sewage, or the I'm-so-stupid-I'm-going-to-insult-you-while-trying-to-be-nice sewage. I clenched my fists, really trying to dig deep and find some shred of humanity within myself that would allow me to let this bozo live, but having a really fucking hard time with it.

As it turned out, I would have had to compete with the three behind me to get a shot in before he was utterly annihilated, based on the abrupt sounds of puppets clicking and a fan snapping open. Naturally Gaara won the battle, and his sand slid through the alleyway before anyone could blink and struck like a viper, slamming the guy back against the wall with a thud. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a few broken ribs when he woke up.

I sent a little breeze over to both dumb asses to make sure they were still breathing. They were, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I'd really rather not deal with dead bodies at the moment.

"Hey Kankuro, you wanna be in charge of carting these dumb-asses to the hospital or should I?" I asked tiredly, knowing that even though they were stupid as heck they were still sand ninja, and we needed all of our forces, so that meant we had to make sure they didn't die.

He grinned evilly and brought out the black ant, shoving both of them inside at once, which would be very uncomfortable, even without all the bumps, bruises and potential broken bones. "Consider it done." And he was off before I could determine if he actually was going to take them to the hospital or just a dumpster somewhere.

I shrugged, too over-it-all to really care either way. I turned and continued in the direction I had been going, to get something to eat. But now I was just going to go home, take a shower, and eat something I already had lying around at home, and probably eat it in bed. It had been a long day.

I heard Temari murmuring something from behind me, but I couldn't be bothered to pay attention to what she was saying to Gaara. Apparently whatever it was she said was blown off because I heard her distinctive huff that meant she hadn't been listened to.

Gaara's intense presence took up the space beside me, his company almost looming in that odd way of his. It was amazing that a guy who wasn't that much taller than myself, really maybe only an inch or two by now, somehow managed to loom like a ten foot tall behemoth. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, noting the fine tremors in his muscles, the way his eyes burned, the hard set of his mouth, and he even had a little bit of sand spiraling around him as he walked. He was definitely giving off some seriously bad vibes.

As we walked to my apartment the sand went away and he seemed to calm down a little, but he was still super tensed up, not talking the whole way there. I wasn't entirely sure why he was coming with me, but maybe he needed to make sure I got home safely or something like that. Or maybe he was just too worked up. Getting inside Gaara's head was something I don't think I ever wanted to do. Especially not with Shukaku lurking around somewhere in there.

Finally we arrived at my apartment and I sighed with relief, so ready to be home. I opened the door, and since Gaara didn't show any signs of planning on leaving I left it open for him to come in behind me. It audibly closed with a snap as I made my way into the kitchen, and I refused to flinch at the sound, even though that's what my body instinctively tried to do.

I popped some instant ramen into the microwave. "You want some?" I inquired over my shoulder. And then froze when I saw him right behind me. Somehow he had managed to sneak up on me and I hadn't even sensed him an inch away from my back. My head immediately faced forwards again and I tensed as his hands landed on the counter on either side of me.

My mind couldn't work around this new information, just sort of freezing up and got stuck on repeat mixed with cussing.

 _Gaara is … he's … oh shit …what the hell? …he's right behind me …_ _ **right fucking**_ _behind me … why the hell is he? …what is he doing …crap…_

And so on.

My breathing sped up and I could feel my pulse rising, over all making me feel a little lightheaded and dizzy from the over oxygenation of my blood. And then I stopped breathing all together as Gaara pressed closer, bringing his front into full contact with my back, sandwiching me against the edge of the counter in front of me. The discomfort of the counter was utterly ignored, my brain entirely focused on the warmth of his body right up against mine and I blinked rapidly taking in a sharp gasp as I realized I hadn't been breathing.

My muscles were all locked up in shock, very faint quivers running through my body from how tightly I was clenched, everywhere. I could feel him trembling against me, and could even see it in the muscles of his arms, his hands clenched into fists on the countertop.

I could feel the rapid puffs of his breath on the back of my head, and I could hear them too. He sucked his breath in, his diaphragm expanding against me, and his arms wrapped around me. My hands were now braced on the counter, so his arms slid under mine and banded around my stomach as he squeezed me even tighter against himself. I felt him bury his face into the back of my hair, his hot breath puffing against the back of my neck now.

I was paralyzed from shock. _Gaara is … hugging me?_ I guess that's what you could call it, but it felt more intense than a simple hug. Not that I ever remembered being hugged before, aside from the random hyper twin hugs that I was rarely subjected to.

He seemed to sink into me, leaning his body as far into mine as he could, pressing closer and closer, while still somehow managing to not strangle me. I felt his hands grip tightly in the fabric of my shirt at my sides and his breath shuddered against my neck. His nose nuzzled further into my hair, his chin, nose, and mouth pressing against my neck now, not in any sort of kiss, but just pressing his skin against mine. His chin slid down my neck and I shivered, his grip tightening when I did, and his chin burrowed into my shoulder. His parted lips pressed against the juncture of my neck and shoulder now, his quickened breathing moist against my skin. The side of his face nestled against my neck, his eyelashes tickling my ear. Absentmindedly I had to wonder at what strange angle he had bent himself, almost curling himself around me entirely, probably ducking his head at an insane curve. He would definitely end up with a crick in his neck at this rate.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel it pulsing where his cheek rested on my neck. Eventually my trembling muscles loosened and I was able to relax against him, letting my body curl into his. After a long moment of getting up my courage, I pulled my shaky hands away from the counter and moved them down to his forearms, hovering in the air for a moment before I let them rest lightly on the maroon material of his shirt sleeves.

I felt him flinch and start to retreat, as if he immediately expected me to pull his arms off me. I let my hands curl around his forearms and held him still, not letting him pull away any further, my heart pounding like crazy in my chest, my mind shouting at me.

 _What am I doing! It's probably a good idea for him to pull away, get some space to breath, clear my head. This is Dangerous._ _ **DANGEROUS**_ _. I am going into dangerous territory here. What the hell am I doing?! What am I doing?!_

But I ignored the thoughts, for once just letting myself sink into the pleasure of simply being with Gaara, in a way I had never allowed myself to before. After a moment he shuddered and I heard a soft shuddering groan come from his chest as he tightened his arms around me again, pulling me into him almost roughly, making me let out a soft gasp. He immediately softened his grip, but didn't hold me any less tightly, and his face sunk back down into my shoulder, taking a deep breath, almost as if he was breathing in my scent. My heart did a strange flutter at the thought and I almost let myself imagine what that meant, my guard so low that I almost went there.

I was struck with fear for a moment before I simply quieted my mind, muting thoughts of all kinds, and purely letting myself feel. We stood there for long moments, longer than I could count, and I could feel his heartbeat and breathing slow down little by little, the trembling not so harsh as he seemed to relax and almost snuggle into me. He relaxed his death grip just a little, unclenching his fingers from the fabric of my shirt and letting his fingers straiten, the full expanse of his palms and fingers resting gently on my sides now.

I gentled the grasp I had on his forearms, realizing that I was squeezing and let my hands tenderly cradle them instead, even allowing my fingers to lightly stroke over the material of his shirt a little. I felt him shiver against me in response, making my breath catch in my throat.

For a brief beautiful moment I let myself wish that this moment could last forever, that we could stay just like this for the rest of eternity. I finally let myself go there, finally let myself feel how much I wanted this, how deeply I was in love. It was something I had been fighting for so long, trying to pretend it wasn't there, the thing that burned the inside of my chest when I thought about how this couldn't last forever.

A single tear slid down my cheek, burning a trail in my heart.

I trembled, and his arms tightened around me again in response. I couldn't pretend anymore, I couldn't block any of the emotions swelling in my heart and feeling the enormity of it all shook me to my core. Every single wall guarding my heart came tumbling down, leaving a wreck of vulnerable chaos in the wake of destruction, all the inmates loose and bombarding me with such intense feelings I thought I might go insane right there on the spot. I had thought those walls were mostly for keeping people out, and hadn't realized they were for keeping my own emotions bound so tightly.

I had lied to myself, tricking myself so completely that I hadn't realized the depth of my feelings. My face turned towards him, where he was buried in my neck so I could press my cheek against his forehead, feeling his soft hair tickle my face.

After long moments I felt him pulling back, his warmth withdrawing and his hands sliding across my waist as his arms uncrossed from around me. He took a deep breath from the crook of my shoulder and then his head raised, and he stepped away from me. My heart burned, squeezing hard in my chest, and I took a deep breath, trying to put some space into my suddenly compressed lungs. It felt like my chest had been hit with an enormous hammer, making it concave. I wanted to cry out, to beg him to stay where he was, holding me, just for a little longer, but fought against the desire with tooth and nail, refusing to be that obviously pathetic.

I swallowed, dealing with the pain and mess of confusing shit throbbing in my head and heart, not wanting to show anything on the outside. I took another deep breath, feeling like I was underwater, the atmosphere so tense and awkward now, neither one of us sure what to do now.

I cleared my throat with difficulty, the sound like a whip cracking in the silent kitchen. I turned on the microwave, having forgotten that I had been in the middle of making food. I swallowed thickly, realizing that my mouth and throat were parched. I went over to a cabinet while the microwave was going and got out a glass, filled it with water and took several nearly desperate swallows, a little escaping and dripping down my chin.

"Would you like some water?" I asked, offering him the glass as I swiped at my chin with my other arm. Then I realized that he might feel awkward about drinking after me, "Oh…uh, I can get you a fresh glass…" I reached up to pull one out of the cabinet.

"No, this is fine." He murmured and took the glass from my hand, his fingers brushing against mine. I tried impossibly hard to not to let it affect me, but failed spectacularly.

He finished the water, my eyes helplessly tracing his throat as he swallowed and noting the bit of water that also seemed to slip past his guard. Seems we were both a little uncoordinated at the moment. I was mesmerized for a good second before the timer on the microwave went off, snapping me out of it with all the subtlety of a bombshell.

I shook my head and turned to the microwave. "Would you like some food? It's just instant ramen, but …"

"I'm fine thank you." He murmured, and then there was long pause. "I should go." He continued softly and then another long pause followed.

I swallowed thickly, again, feeling that unpleasant squeezing sensation in my chest. "Yeah of course …" I mumbled, working hard to keep everything out of my voice.

He cleared his throat, and I saw him rub the back of his neck with his hand out of my peripheral vision, not yet strong enough to look at him directly. His neck probably hurt from bending so far forward for so long. "I should make sure that Kankuro accomplished his task." He gave as an explanation to his leaving. Not that he needed one.

"Of course, absolutely." I answered, my voice wavering just a tad, but still impressively strong considering how I felt at the moment. He paused and I could sense him looking at me, probably waiting to see if I would make eye contact with him. I pasted on a smile and looked at him, while not really looking at him, and closed my eyes while smiling.

He finally left, the sound of the door softly closing hurting my ears. It was strange how all these things affected me now, when they hadn't before, or at least I hadn't let them. A few tears slipped out of my closed eyes and I sighed heavily.

"Well I'm screwed…"

 **End Chapter 3**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Wow! We're making some progress here! Ren actually realized that she's in love. Big shocker there!

Hope everyone liked the chapter. There's gonna be some crazy emotional problems to deal with, so everyone buckle up.

 **And on that note:** for everyone out there who keeps asking for romantic stuff to happen, I just wanted to let you know...that it _will_ happen! And in a very big way. Just be patient.

There's one big thing that's going to happen that might slow their relationship down a little, but it's something that I think is awesome and have been planning on for a while, so you're just going to have to put up with that. Trust me, it's super cool. The only hint I will give you is that it is going to make Ren very, very strong.

But no worries! If anything, it will throw a whole new facet into their relationship that I think you guys will really enjoy! Even if it does delay the actual getting together part a little.

As I've said before, this is part two, and so far I have sketched out quite a number of chapters, so sit back, relax, and enjoy, cause this is gonna be a long story. Just in case you haven't already figured that out. hahaha. But it's gonna be totally worth it! And amazing! So stay tuned!


	42. Burn With Me: Chapter 4

After Gaara left my apartment I slowly realized what I had done. Once you open some doors they can never be closed again. I had let myself feel the depth of my love for Gaara, and that was very, _very_ stupid. It was something that I had known was there, but I had buried it, locked it behind a door and thought I had thrown away the key. I had muffled it so thoroughly I hadn't even really realized exactly _how_ _deep_ in love I was. I had been studiously ignoring it for so long now, it felt wrong to acknowledge it. And there was a good reason for that.

It terrified me, paralyzed me, and made me feel as though I had shattered into a million pieces, this intense emotion that burned inside of me now. I had worked so hard, for so long, to be guarded, to never let anyone get close, to never let myself be vulnerable. I had tried so desperately to protect myself and my heart, tried to be strong, to lock myself away where it was safe and I couldn't be hurt.

 _Well, so much for that._

I stood there in my kitchen for a long moment, frozen, staring into space, not really aware of anything at all.

After a while, I managed to stumble to my bed and sat down heavily, putting my head in my hands. Everything hurt, my chest hurt, my head hurt, if it was possible even my soul hurt. This was why I had hidden everything away, to try and keep myself from this pain. _Why does it hurt so much to love someone?_

There were so many reasons why being in love with someone was something I had never, ever wanted to do.

For one, I had promised myself that I would never let anyone that close to my heart again, to avoid that pain that I had felt when Gaara had abandoned me so long ago. That had been love, and it had been taken away, and it had been devastating. It had been deeply imprinted upon my soul at a young age that there was inherent risk in loving someone, that they might leave and take your heart with them.

That utterly terrified me. Already having experienced that pain, I knew it was something I _never_ wanted to happen again.

I knew, by loving someone, you make yourself vulnerable, not just to the possibility of pain, but ultimately vulnerable to someone else, literally giving them a piece of your heart. It was frightening to give that much of yourself to someone else. You had to let them in, into your heart, into your very soul. It was like letting someone into your house to see all your dirty little secrets, all the clutter and mess that you didn't want anyone to see. But inside of you they would see all the pain and fears and dirt and scars and confusion and _shit_ inside, everything that made you who you were.

When you loved someone you felt compelled to do that, to let them inside of you, both physically and emotionally.

So I was paralyzed by my fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, and to add to that wonderful mess of nonsense, fear of the unknown. This was all a grey area for me, something that I had never let myself feel before, something that I had never experienced before, and that in and of itself was frightening.

When I really thought about it, at the core of me, I was afraid of all kinds of things, kind of a scaredy-cat even, and it kind of sucked to admit it.

Heck, I was afraid of being in love, in and of itself.

I was afraid that if I did fully embrace the idea of being in love, then that would lead to me pursuing a relationship with Gaara, which was also terrifying. Even the idea of being in a relationship frightened me.

And then, if at some point, hypothetically, I was able to get over my commitment and abandonment issues, there was always the chance, a really good chance, that Gaara wouldn't even be interested in a relationship with me. In fact, I had a really hard time imagining any universe in which _anyone_ could ever love me that way, much less someone like Gaara who had as many issues as I did with trust and love and affection. So that was yet another thing to be afraid of, the absolute knowledge that I would be rejected.

And with all that, there was the fear that this would screw up the friendship that we already had. The idea that, because of me, because of my stupid heart, the precious relationship between us could be broken, was truly unthinkable. I treasured our friendship above everything else in my life, perhaps even above my own life.

 _And if that's not stupid, I don't know what is._

So it was all a big fucking mess now, and I didn't know what to do with myself, except sit there on my bed and cry. I bawled into my hands like I hadn't done in a long time. My chest ached from the powerful sobs that racked my frame and my throat grew sore from the terrible sounds being ripped from it. It was absolutely awful and I hated every minute of it.

I hated crying, it was uncomfortable, your nose runs, your chest hurts, you make all kinds of stupid noises, and all sorts of other unpleasant things happen.

After just sitting there and bawling my eyes out for a good solid thirty minutes, things started to slow down, and eventually I groaned pathetically and flopped back on my bed, feeling utterly miserable and pitiful.

 _Why did I ever let myself fall in love with him in the first place?! It was stupid! I knew it was stupid! And yet I still went did it anyway. Why does everything have to always be like this, my heart misbehaving and doing shit without my permission? It sucks._

What was I going to do now? How was I supposed to fix the damned door that had blocked off all this cosmic shit? It was like the door to a closet so full of crap that as soon as you open it everything falls out in an avalanche of chaos, and then there's no way to close it back up again. Perhaps if I could organize it all, package all my emotions in tiny little boxes and then Rubik's cube it all back into that closet, I could go back to the way things were.

I sighed, hiccupped, and thought hard about everything, trying to sort through my emotions and compartmentalize everything so I could stuff it all away. It worked to some extent, but it was exhausting, and eventually I fell asleep where I lay all askew on the bed.

And I fell into a shadowy dream.

It felt like I was running through a dark tunnel, running so hard that my legs began to burn. I was running away from Gaara, the dream making no sense and yet the terror I felt drove me to run.

And then I fell.

Suddenly the ground was made of shards of broken glass, and I fell upon the carpet of vicious pain. My palms couldn't catch me, though the impact felt as though pieces of glass had been thrust all the way through my hands, and I collapsed onto my side, sliding across the cruel ground and leaving behind a road of crimson marking my path. I was shredded as I writhed against the jagged pain, my flesh torn into scarlet ribbons, and I slowly disappeared into a pool of my own blood as the glass rose higher and higher.

As I struggled it only made the agony worse, only causing the wicked glass to cut me deeper. It only hurt more sharply as I tried to escape, tried to get up and run, only to realize that the glass had risen to my waist, and then my chest, and my neck. I cried out in agony and screamed, trying desperately to swim now as I sunk beneath the surface. My face was cut in a million different ways, my eyes shutting against the pain and the fear of the sharpness cutting my eyes. But it was no use of course and I saw red as the blood built behind my eyelids.

I couldn't swim, couldn't get out, and my thrashing only made things worse.

After a frantic moment of terror in which I fought my fate, I slowly grew still, gradually acknowledging what was happening. As I accepted it and simply went limp, I felt myself bleeding out into the sea of shards, and strangely felt peaceful. And then the glass turned to sand.

Now I was floating in the sand, and it was dark, and surrounded me on all sides, cocooning me. But it was soft and I was no longer bleeding, no longer in pain as I bathed in the comforting warmth of the sand. The millions of grains of sand rippled around my body, gently caressing my skin and moving me upwards, parting above me until I was lying on the sand, staring up at the night sky.

The moon and stars were so beautiful and crisp that tears fell from my eyes as I watched them dancing. And as I turned my head, I saw Gaara, lying beside me, and the stars were in his eyes, the pale turquoise glowing, and it was even more beautiful than the sky.

I woke with tears running down my face as I gasped into the pillow, holding onto the beauty of the dream, holding onto that strange, terrifying, but wonderful feeling at the end, so intense and yet almost peaceful.

The next day I spent doing my best to try and come to terms with my new feelings, recognizing that I couldn't completely make them go away, but hoping that perhaps I could mute them a little. Eventually, after a lot of poking and prodding and convincing, I managed to get myself to a workable level, as if my feelings were a constant hum in the back of my mind, but not overwhelming my senses. I just had to work on not thinking about it as much as possible, not let myself sink back into that sea of hurt, like in the dream I had had last night.

If I had to I would _force_ myself to not think about it. I'd just think about something random, like counting the seeds on a strawberry or something like that.

It helped that I was assigned a mission. I would be able to spend my time focused on that for a while. I was supposed to go and guard a VIP Heiress as she went from point A to point B. It was a pretty straightforward mission, simple, easy. So easy in fact that I was the only ninja assigned to it.

Naturally, we were attacked by bandits on the road, who turned out to be banished members of the Heiress's family. They wanted to kidnap her and take over as the heads of the Family Line, of course. So it got all involved and worked well to help my mind get a little distance from my heart, a little distance from Gaara, so by the end of it all I had mostly gotten a good handle on myself. I resolved the issues between everyone involved, sorted out all the wrong doings, and made sure that everyone was happy and the VIP got to her destination safely.

The mission had been relatively easy, all things considered, but it had also been a rather lengthy distance, so all and all it had taken me maybe 2 weeks or so to complete. Those weeks were greatly appreciated to give me some space from Gaara, so hopefully the next time I saw him I wouldn't feel quite so awkward. I hoped that I would be able to keep a lid on everything, but I also knew it might take some time to simply acclimate to dealing with my new emotions while in Gaara's presence. I could only hope that the time spent apart helped stabilize me to the point that it wouldn't be as difficult to do.

After 2 weeks or so on the road, dealing with a rather snippy Heiress, it was a relief to finally finish the mission and be able to return home to the Sand village.

As soon as I got through the gates I was tackled by my twin team mates, who had apparently been notified that I was supposed to be returning home today and had been waiting for me. As soon as they saw me, they pounced on my unsuspecting person.

"Woah! Hey! Looks like you two knuckle heads got back in one piece. Congratulations!" I yelped, and then added, "Hey guys, cool it would ya?" as they kept grabbing my arms and spinning me around between the two of them, ultra-hyper to the point of making me dizzy. That might have been the spinning of course.

I finally managed to break free from the crazy whirlwind that was my partners and put them both in a headlock. "Calm down, I said!" And I waited a few moments for their protests and squirming to cease.

"Ah hah, that's our Ren!" Hikaru exclaimed from my right as Kaoru sighed dramatically and said in a pompous tone, "Okay, very well, if we promise to behave will you release us Oh Great Mistress?"

I huffed a laugh and released them. They staggered forwards in a playfully overdramatic manner, "Oh how you abuse us!" Hikaru continued his brother's jest, putting the back of his hand to his forehead in a 'woe is me' gesture.

I just snickered and rolled my eyes, not realizing how much I had missed their ridiculous nonsense. They balanced out my over-seriousness nicely. "Yes, yes. I apologize. I must have forgotten how delicate you two were."

They gasped in unison with twin expressions of shock and appall on their faces. "How dare you," Hikaru started, "insinuate that," Kaoru continued, "we are delicate!" Hikaru finished.

I snorted. "I didn't insinuate. I said it rather bluntly." I said with a straight face.

Kaoru turned to Hikaru and said in a mock conspiratorial whisper, "I do believe that she just insulted our manhood dear brother."

Hikaru nodded seriously and turned to his brother, continuing with the same tone, "I concur, how should we retaliate?"

Kaoru thought about it for a moment, his hand on his hip and tapping his foot in an exaggerated thoughtful pose. "Why I know! We should take her shopping with us! Surely that will prove how manly we are!"

I flinched and immediately started backing away, avoiding that circumstance as much as possible. If there was one thing the twins loved, it was fashion and clothes shopping, and they took it to the extreme. I remembered the last time they had managed to drag me to a clothing store. I had been shoved into so many outfits that I was literally sore afterwards, and in places I didn't even know _could_ be sore.

"Um, yeah, no. I'm good. Thanks guys, but uh … maybe some other time okay?" I chuckled nervously and immediately scooted down a nearby alleyway, knowing that I would have to make a run for it. Once they had shopping in their eyes, there was no escape unless you somehow managed to shake them off your trail. It was time for evasive maneuvers.

They immediately darted after me, as I knew they would, and I swiftly made my way to the market place, knowing that it was my best option when it came to potentially losing them. I whizzed through the alleyway, using up some valuable chakra on wind as propellant, even though I was running low from the voyage back from my mission. Actually I was pretty damn exhausted, so this sort of thing was not on my to-do list at the moment. I managed to outpace them and dove into the crowd in the marketplace, weaving back and forth between shoppers and carts and store fronts until I found a nice food vendor that had a curtain over the front part of his cart making a nice skirt I could duck under and take cover.

I sat scrunched under the food cart, not really having enough chakra to waste on sending out a sensorial breeze to see if I had lost them, at least not without resting for a moment. It really wasn't the most comfortable position to be in, and I skootched around to try and get more comfortable. As I did, one foot slipped out and I accidentally kicked someone.

"Ow! What the hell?"

I stuck my head out, recognizing Temari's voice. "Shhhhhh! I'm hiding from the dreaded twins. They want to take me shopping!"

Her eyes got wide and she looked around furtively, not wanting to be caught and used as a substitute. I was pretty sure they had attempted the shopping trip thing on Temari as well, but I was also pretty sure that the shop they had visited had been mostly decimated by her wind after they had pissed her off with their nonsense.

"Oh shit, no kidding. Well, good luck." She said, making a face.

"Hey, do you see them anywhere?"

She looked around, "Yeah they're on the other side though. It looks like they have no idea where you are."

"Oh good, with any luck they'll lose interest in me and just go by themselves. They tend to be pretty impatient."

"True … Ah, yes it looks like they are leaving now. That was close, you're lucky."

I sighed and unfolded myself from under the table, and said thank you to the bemused cart wielder, buying a nice row of dumplings from him for his trouble.

Temari and I split the dumplings as we walked together, both of us heading towards the debriefing room to give our reports. She had also just returned from a mission.

"So what was your mission?" I inquired around a mouthful of dough and syrup.

She waved her hand, her half of the dumpling stick getting dangerously close to my face. I grimaced and leaned slightly away from it, not wanting syrup in my hair. "Oh you know, the usual. Just taking some important scrolls to someone important."

I hmmed, "Yeah, I had to guard a caravan for a VIP. Same old, same old."

We chatted until we reached our destination, finishing our snack and throwing it away before going inside. Typically eating while giving a mission report was frowned upon.

It didn't take long to give our respective reports and afterwards we headed to our homes. "Hey you wanna come over for dinner tonight?" Temari called.

I paused and considered it. On the one hand, I hadn't bought any groceries, so I wouldn't have any food at home. In that sense, a hot meal would be very nice. On the other hand, it would mean having to see Gaara probably.

Seeing my hesitation she added, "Oh come on, it'll be fun! My little brother has been moping around for the past two weeks while you were gone, maybe you can cheer him up." She chuckled with a crafty twinkle in her eye. Temari was scary sometimes, her powers of perception could be quite impressive, at least under certain circumstances. I was immediately on guard. I knew she was up to something … maybe she somehow knew that I was currently more comfortable avoiding Gaara.

I winced, not really sure what she was getting at, but if Gaara truly had been upset, it could indicate that he was regretting that hug he gave me, which meant going over there would be a big mistake.

After waiting too long to respond, Temari huffed and said, "Okay, you're coming over tonight. No buts about it, go shower and get changed. I'll expect you at 6:00, so you better get going." And then she left, leaving me with a pounding headache.

"Damn."

 **End Chapter 3**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

As an addition to my note last chapter: Things are still going to happen, and their relationship is still going to progress. In fact something I think you all will enjoy is coming up very soon. ;)

I was just saying that the really juicy stuff is a little ways off.

Well, I take that back, there's a few things scattered here and there that are pretty spicy, and lemon/lime-esque.

I guess what I'm saying is this, be patient, and look forward to it. Because it's going to be fantastic when it does happen. Like I said, it's going to happen in a big way. So expect lots of chapters of...stuff. ;) It definitely earns the M rating. I kinda wish there was a stronger rating actually.

And for all of you out there who don't appreciate Lemons/Limes (first of all I don't really understand you, but hey, it's cool, everyone has their own preferences) I will make sure to warn you so that you can skip it. Or at least so that you can briefly skim it. Or whatever it is that makes you most comfortable.

Geez, I'm getting too verbose. I think it's time for a dramatic exit.

*POOF*


	43. Burn With Me: Chapter 5

The hot water felt fantastic on my skin, washing away all the grime from the road. If only I could let myself enjoy it, but unfortunately, I was too nervous about this evening's dinner with the Sabaku siblings. _Why did I let Temari bully me into coming_? I probably could have just said no from the get go, but noooooo I had to go and hesitate for too long. Temari could be so pushy sometimes.

Strangely though, I was excited to see Gaara, even if it was a terrifying prospect. It was odd how two emotions could coexist in the same space without making my head explode, though if my headache was any indication, maybe not.

I sighed and turned off the water, letting myself drip dry for a moment and then grabbed the towel slung over my shower door, pulling it in and toweling myself off in the steamy shower. After I was mostly dry I stepped out and got dressed in a fresh set of clothes, the same kind that I always wore.

I left the bathroom, toweling my hair, so the cloth covered my face and I didn't see the trap waiting to snare me. "So … you thought you could get away from us huh?"

I froze, recognizing Hikaru's voice and wishing that I didn't. I whipped the towel off my head and stared aghast at the pair, who were carrying several bags overflowing with clothes.

"You wouldn't come with us to the store, so we had to bring the store to you." I scowled at them and their extravagance. They came from a wealthy family and had plenty of money. Sometimes I wondered why they even bothered going on missions. They certainly didn't need an income.

"Look guys, I really don't have time for this, I have to be at the Sabaku house by 6 and it's already 5 so …" I tried to head them off, but was interrupted.

They cut me off, "You have a date?! And you're wearing that!?"

 _Shit._

I scrambled to try and rectify the misunderstanding. "No it's not a…"

"Come on, we barely have time to get you ready, hustle, hustle!"

"Wait, I'm not…" I started.

"Kaoru you pick out several outfits, I'll go grab some hair supplies and makeup!" Hikaru said excitedly and darted out the door.

"Guys!"

"Roger that! Leave it to me, by the time you get back she'll be dressed and ready for pampering!" Kaoru bellowed after his twin.

"Oh for heaven's sake…" I sighed, about to give up on these two.

"Now just hush and let me think. I can't think when you're distracting me Ren! And I must think! I have to put together the perfect date outfit!"

I groaned, knowing that there was no stopping them, short of physical violence. To be honest I simply didn't have the energy for that sort of thing at the moment.

Kaoru dug through the bags of clothing tossing colorful garments this way and that. I picked up a blue halter top with some trepidation. It all looked very … well … not very me. I wore black. With a little bit of white. But mostly just black. This stuff was all color, and it was blinding.

"Hmmmm….well this _is_ Gaara we're talking about, and he seems to like red, so…." Kaoru was talking to himself. "But then again, red might not look good with your purple eyes, it will have to be very … oh I know!"

He picked out an orangey-reddish shirt that I had no idea how to put on, much less how it was supposed to be worn. He shoved me into the bathroom yelling complicated instructions through the door. I sighed and did my best to follow them, knowing I wouldn't be allowed to leave if I didn't.

I opened the door and he stared at me thoughtfully for a moment before frowning and said, "No. let's try this one."

He shoved a bundle of white fabric into my arms. I stared at it askance and then gave him the stink eye. This one was essentially a white tube top that would cover my chest and maybe down to my belly button.

"And don't you dare wear those bandages around your chest! This has a little bra built in." I groaned loudly and shut the door again. I unwrapped my chest, knowing that if I didn't he would do it for me, which would mean I would have to kill him. And that definitely would delay me.

After I had managed to squirm into the white top with some difficulty, he came in and paused, staring at my scarred up back. He hummed thoughtfully and then grabbed a jar of something and began to smear it on my skin over my scars, which turned out to mask them rather well actually.

Then he started pulling and poking and stuffing me into a red shirt over the white one. The fabric of this over shirt was somewhat thin and see-through and actually quite a lovely shade of red, if I was into wearing color. It was designed to fall off one shoulder and the back was cut up into strips that were then loosely woven, almost like a fancy fishnet weave.

"Now that's more like it!" Kaoru exclaimed, standing back and observing his handiwork smugly.

It wasn't any tighter than my usual shirt, but it was actually more revealing, uncovering a whole shoulder and sort of my whole back, making me really glad he had whatever was in that jar. Plus, it was so thin that you could see the tube top underneath, and if you looked really, really closely and pulled the material tight you could see the scar on my hip, which Kaoru hadn't bothered with. That was one thing I wasn't so hot about.

Then he left the room again and shoved a pair of what looked like black pants through the door next. When I held them up to the light I actually saw that they were an extremely dark purple. I sighed and wiggled into them, almost surprised that they fit comfortably, about as snug and stretchy as my usual pants. But, of course I always wore a skirt over my pants for modesty.

I put my foot down when it came to shoes and went ahead and put on my below the knee boots with the open sandal toes. They sighed, but said that it looked good with the outfit so they let it slide, Hikaru now back from his excursion.

Next Hikaru fiddled with my hair, not really having much to do with it since it was so short, but he put a little bit of curl at the end of my pony tail and flipped the ends of my hair out just a smidge and put some sort of spray on it that made it extra shiny. Next he came at me with some sort of paint on a brush and I cringed away from him.

"No. There's no way." I fussed and Kaoru came up behind me and held onto my shoulders, preventing me from backing away.

"Don't worry. I'll just put on a little." Hikaru cooed at me, wiggling the brush in the air.

I stared at him horrified. He started with some teensy little brush and painted black on my eyelashes, which was extremely hard to stay still for, but after the first time I flinched and got poked in the eye I was determined to not move an inch. But that didn't stop me from fussing at him. Then he took a little, poofy brush-thing and dipped it in a little tube of what looked like gold dust. He carefully dusted it on my eyelids, just above my eyelash line. Then he took yet another brush and painted something kind of creamy on my lips. I made them feel kind of strange and soft.

Then he held up a mirror and I blinked with shock. I didn't look like me. The gold on my eyes made the purple in my irises glow and my eyelashes looked super long and dark. _Had they always been that long?_ My lips only were a hint pinker than usual, just a tiny bit darker, but they looked soft. I was surprised, I guess I almost looked … pretty. It wasn't really anything I had ever thought about, but I guess that's what you'd called it.

"Well … not bad." I murmured, still shocked.

The twins high-fived each other and then before they hustled me out the door they grew serious and together brought out a fancy wooden box, carved intricately. "This is our gift to you, we were going to give it to you on your birthday, but we decided to give it to you now instead, so you can wear it on your first date."

"It's not a…" I began to protest but Kaoru hushed me.

"Never mind that. Here. Open it."

I took the box and opened it carefully, not really sure why they were suddenly so serious. Inside the box, nestled in a silk cloth, was an intricate braided chain that looked pretty sturdy, but still managed to look elegant and delicate. And hanging from the chain was a disk about the size of my thumb, on which was engraved a stylized flower in full bloom, a rare desert flower known as the fire flower, and was circled by a thin flame, the Hitachiin Family Crest. The Hitachiin Clan was perhaps one of the oldest clans in Suna.

I blinked, shocked. "Only a Hitachiin family member can wear this," I murmured, looking up at them with confusion. I didn't understand why they would give me this.

"Exactly, only family can wear it." Kaoru said softly, smiling.

"You _are_ family to us, the little sister that we never had." Hikaru added.

"If you accept, we would like to offer you kinship." Kaoru continued.

"This crest would mean that you are an official member of the Hitachiin family. Essentially you would be adopted." Hikaru said, and then added. "Don't worry we got permission."

"We've told our parents a lot about you and how you are always taking care of us, and they said anyone that can keep us out of trouble should be a Hitachiin."

I looked from one to the other, both entirely sincere. It was impossible. I was an orphan. For me to suddenly have a family was … it wasn't possible. Was it?

As I realized the implications I felt tears well up in my eyes and a sob/laugh burst from my lips, so utterly happy that my body didn't know how to properly respond.

Hikaru jumped forwards with a tissue. "Yikes, watch the water works, you don't want this stuff to run!" he held the tissue to my eyes and I hiccupped and laughed, tilting my head back and letting the moisture reabsorb into my eyes.

"So it that a yes?" Kaoru asked hopefully.

"Yes…" I whispered, too overwhelmed to get much volume going.

Both twins grinned and Hikaru delicately picked the chain off of the silk cloth and went behind me, clasping it as Kaoru adjusted the emblem into the dip at the base of my throat. The chain was not tight, but it was the exact width to go around my neck, not dangling at all so it was quite a short chain, choker style. And the crest rested right into the dip at the bottom of my throat.

After I was all situated they both gave me feather light pecks on the cheek, welcoming me to the family, and then hurried me out the door, telling me I'd better hustle to get to my date on time.

"It's not a…!"

"We know we know, it's not a date!" they both laughed in sync.

 **End Chapter 5**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

A little bit of a sweet chapter here, I hope everyone is enjoying the twins increasing involvement. I love those two.

BTW, for all those out there who don't recognize them, I borrowed them from Ouran Host Club.

:D

Get ready, next chapter is going to be craaaaaaaaazy fun.


	44. Burn With Me: Chapter 6

I trotted over to the Sabaku residence, still having enough time to get there without flat out running. Which was good, I didn't necessarily want to arrive out of breath. I got there right at six, which meant I didn't have to get pummeled by Temari.

I knocked on the door and Kankuro answered. "Yo … you're right on tiiiiii… uh …. What the hell happened to you?"

I scowled, "Thanks Kankuro, that's so sweet."

He blinked, still standing there blocking the doorway. "No seriously, what happened? You look all … different."

"If you must know, the twins happened to me. They heard I had some sort of 'date' and went all nuts. I tried to tell them I was just coming over here to hang out with you guys but they wouldn't listen." I heaved a sigh.

Kankuro just stood there, taking up the doorway, and openly gaped at me.

I stayed there for a second and then went ahead and walked through the door, which meant that I had to essentially walk through Kankuro. Thankfully he moved.

I walked into the kitchen to see if Temari needed any help, not that I was a fantastic cook, but I was certainly the better option when it came down to me or the boys. When I walked in Temari took one look at me and busted out laughing.

I glared at her, crossing my arms over my chest, unconsciously imitating Gaara. "What?"

"Oh, they got you anyway huh?" She said between giggles.

I sighed and nodded, dropping my arms. "Yeah…Does it really look that bad?" I grimaced, wondering if I had seen wrong.

"Actually you look fantastic, but that's not the point." She giggled, wiping her eyes as she turned back to the stove. It looked like dinner was almost ready. "Go on in to the dining room, I think Gaara's already there." She said flippantly and I hesitated.

"Uh, you sure there isn't anything I can do to help you out?" I asked, trying to buy myself some time.

"No, no I have everything under control, it's almost done. You just go sit down. Try and keep Gaara out of trouble would you?"

"Haha very funny…" I muttered and then sighed and slowly made my way into the dining room.

I paused when I saw the back of Gaara's bright red head, and noted his gourd leaning up against the other wall. My chest squeezed and I felt a dangerous feeling creeping up inside of me, but I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and focused on forcefully turning my thoughts to consider what exactly Temari might be making for dinner as a distraction.

It worked some and I felt a little more stable, so I walked in as normally as possible and sat down in the only available chair next to Gaara. It was me and Gaara at one end, him sitting at the end and me sitting on the side of the table next to him. Across from me was Temari, which I could tell by the fan in her seat and then Kankuro at the other end by the puppet in that chair. My chair was set suspiciously close to Gaara's chair, while the other two were a little further down the table, putting a little bit of space between them and us. It was very strange and unnerving.

I sat and calmed myself with a deep fortifying breath before looking at Gaara. His light blue-green eyes were wide as they darted over my face and clothes and finally landed on my own eyes. He swallowed rather hard, hard enough I could hear it clearly, and then he seemed to put a mask on, his face closing off and looking neutral and calm.

I smiled at him, trying to appear as normal as possible, and I think I mostly succeeded. "Hey Gaara." And I only tripped over his name a tiny bit.

"How was your mission? Temari told me that you just got back today." He inquired, his eyes gleaming despite that calm demeanor.

"Oh it was fine, nothing unusual. The regular amount of bandits and subterfuge." I chuckled, taking a sip out of my water glass that was already at my place setting.

I barely heard his chuckle it was so low, but it still sent intensely pleasant shivers down my spine, the reaction more powerful than it had ever been before. I'd have to learn how to deal with that too, fantastic.

"Well I'm glad that you got back safely." He said softly.

I glanced up, startled, not having heard that particular soft, melodic tone in his voice before. When I looked at him he had a tiny smile on his stoic face, the corners of his lips curled up ever so slightly. He was so beautiful. I stared at him, dazed for a moment, before realizing that I was probably looking at him with a love sick expression on my face and I quickly schooled my features.

Temari and Kankuro came in, carrying food. Kankuro still eyed me with that same shocked, almost disturbed expression on his face.

"What is wrong Kankuro?!" I asked exasperated as they sat down at the table and we all started serving ourselves.

"Huh? Oh nothing, you just look so different." He responded.

I grimaced. "Right."

"You look…like a girl. You know…kinda pretty. It's weird." He continued as if he didn't hear me.

Temari rolled her eyes at Kankuro's stupidness and I could feel the heat of Gaara's glare from beside me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, distracted from my own retort by the simmering irritation I could feel from him. I raised an eyebrow as I took in his thoroughly sullen expression, looking totally put out.

I snorted, amused. I just shrugged off Kankuro's idiocy as him just being him. And we all ate dinner in relative silence, Temari and Kankuro doing a valiant effort of filling the silence with small talk, but not making a huge dent in it. There was this awkward thickness hovering in the air between me and Gaara, and it was making everything a little difficult.

After eating, Temari began to randomly rave about some incredible movie that we just had to see. Before I knew what was going on, the dishes were off the table and she was yanking on my arm, physically dragging me into another room. Based on the muffled cursing and sounds of a scuffle behind me I suspected that Gaara had received the same sort of treatment from Kankuro. That was pretty ballsy for Kankuro, so I immediately knew that whatever this was, it had to be Temari's idea. Somehow she maneuvered it so that Gaara and I were in the living room in front of the TV, smushed together on the sofa, and then strangely, as soon as the movie started, both she and Kankuro suddenly had other business to attend to.

I was starting to strongly suspect that we were being set up. Which was a disturbing prospect. I ever so slightly turned my head and made eye contact with Gaara out of the corner of my eye, his eyes likewise askance. I raised an eyebrow in question and he shrugged in response. "Should we risk it?" I mumbled quietly.

"hmm" Gaara did his typical Gaara noise and then followed with, "I suspect we won't be allowed to leave without a fight."

I heaved a sigh, thinking the same thing. "Let's test that shall we?"

He snorted.

I rose from my sitting position and made to leave, and unsurprisingly Temari popped out of the woodwork. "OH, hey there Ren! I'm just going to be here in this other room, getting some work done. Sorry I can't watch the movie with you guys, but you really do have to see it, it's great. Please, make yourself at home."

There was a subtle threat hidden in her tone, and I interpreted the words coming out of her mouth as 'sit down bitch, shut up, and watch the movie like a good girl, or else I'll have to tie you to the couch.'

I huffed, glanced at the door, noted the way Kankuro popped up out of nowhere and seemed suddenly very interested in measuring the door. "Oh, hi. I'm just going to be here for a while, I need to fix the frame of the door, so I'm afraid it's out of order for the moment."

I hummed, finding both their excuses lacking, but knowing I wasn't getting out without a fight, and too tired to really be up to fussing at them. I just sighed and made my way back to the couch, plopping down again next to Gaara. His eyes slid over to meet mine, with an ' _I told you so'_ sort of gleam to them.

"Yep." I sighed, and he nodded, so we settled in to watch whatever the hell this was. Neither one of us really knew what to expect out of this movie, Temari not really having described it very much aside from the fact that we had to see it.

It slowly became apparent that it was a love story, the male and female leads kind of antagonistic towards each other at the beginning, but then slowly growing overly friendly. I knew what was going on, but at that point it seemed like it would be suspicious if I turned off the TV. It was almost too awkward of a situation to rectify, so I decided that sitting through the movie would be best.

Turned out that _that_ was the wrong choice, which I quickly determined when the two leads were abruptly in a major lip lock, really the first one I had ever seen firsthand like this. I had certainly known about kissing, I mean I knew it was something you did but, I never really understood the fascination. It seemed like it would be a little gross, but the people on the screen seemed to be really enjoying it.

I grimaced uncomfortably and shifted, sitting further back into the couch cushions and slumping down, really trying to hide while not being obvious about it. _Well this is really fucking awkward as hell. How do I get out of this one?_

I chanced a glance out of the corner of my eye to see Gaara's expression. It was priceless, his eyes wide and sort of confused, looking almost a little grossed out but intrigued as well. I got the feeling that the idea of kissing was completely foreign to him. Okay, maybe it was worth it just to see that expression on his face.

Of course it only got worse from there, quite a bit worse actually. The kissing led to their clothes coming off, random articles tossed here and there in an almost amusing frenzy.

"Oh dear …" I mumbled weakly and leant my head in my hand, sort of shielding my eyes. It was more embarrassing than I could have possibly imagined, watching something like this while sitting next to Gaara. I felt my face light up with ten shades of red.

On the one hand, that whole … situation was so foreign to me. And watching it, while not explicit, still made me feel very strange. I recognized the bodily urges, the various muscles tensing and a certain kind of heat working its way through me. I tried my very best to not associate what was going on, on the screen with Gaara, but it was difficult when being in such close proximity with him.

It was particularly awkward for me since I had only just recently let myself understand the depth of my feelings for Gaara. I hadn't even considered the potential _ramifications_ of being in love, or rather I hadn't let myself think about it. But yes, along with loving Gaara, of course I was also very attracted to him. Frankly I thought he was the most beautiful, handsome, desirable guy in the whole world and I very nearly groaned out loud as those thoughts popped up in my head, feeling utterly pathetic and love sick.

So with that attraction came … other…feelings, feelings that burned in my chest and even lower in my body. I tried really hard not to squirm from my sudden discomfort. The realization that I guess this sort of thing was supposed to happen between two people who loved each other, and even the merest suggestion of … well… _**sex**_ … and _**Gaara**_ in conjunction had me feeling lightheaded, terrified, and hot in all kinds of very strange ways.

I was not okay with this new development. I had only slightly gotten a handle on the idea of love, and now I was supposed to deal with lust? _Oh hell no! Happy thoughts! Think about … anything besides what's happening on the screen._

There were some noises that were very hard to ignore, and I really hated Temari at the moment. All that grunting, groaning, and moaning was not good for my peace of mind.

I chanced another glance at Gaara, and suddenly it was all worth it just to see his face at the moment. His lips were parted, his eyes definitely shocked and wide, but also kind of excited and he was blushing, following the activity with rapt attention. And then sometimes something would happen on the screen, which I was unaware of since I wasn't watching the screen, and his eyes would squint and his head would cock this way or that, as if he was trying to figure out exactly what they were doing and why in the heck they were doing it. He looked adorably confused and lost, and even a little disturbed, which I didn't blame him for. A large part of what I was feeling had to do with being disturbed.

If they would just fucking stop…well…fucking, I would really appreciate it … thanks. Eventually they did stop, but it felt like it took forever. The amount of time that was depicted on that screen couldn't be accurate, that sort of activity couldn't possibly last that long.

Naturally that wasn't the only love scene and we had to suffer through another one later on in the movie and as soon as the clothes started coming off I groaned and put my head in my hands, whimpering when I could still hear it.

"Does the idea upset you?" I was surprised to hear Gaara's voice in the middle of the racket coming off the screen. Not that it was particularly loud, but all the creaking bedsprings were pretty telling along with the assorted grunts and groans.

"Hmm?" I paused to wince at a particularly loud grunt, processing the question, "Oh … uh …no that's really not the problem."

I flushed bright red as Gaara made eye contact with me, which became very uncomfortable as I heard a few more noises come from the TV, making me hit all new shades of red in my face. I closed my eyes, and tried very hard to think of something, _anything_ , other than sex. It was oddly difficult.

I huffed a sharp breath and scrubbed my hands over my face, trying to get my suddenly hyper hormones leashed and back in cages, but it was like they were a pack of hungry wolves running around being crazy and were utterly impossible to corral.

I heard Gaara take a hissing breath next to me, sucking in a sharp breath of air through his nose and my eyes popped open in surprise at the sudden noise, just in time to see him practically glare down at me. Well it wasn't so much a glare as it was a sudden, short, sharp, _intense_ look, but it wasn't particularly antagonistic. It was very difficult to tell exactly what emotion caused the heat in his eyes when the glare was so short lived, his gaze quickly shifting back to the TV, leaving me stunned. I had never seen that particular expression on his face before. He had looked…almost hungry.

 _So awkward … just …. awkward…really fucking awkward._

 **Gaara POV**

He was feeling…odd. He didn't know what to think at the moment, too absorbed in taking in the strange new information from the screen. It was all so foreign, almost awkward and strange. The only thing he could figure was that the couple on the screen were having sex, and that thought made his gut clench. But there was so much stuff that he hadn't expected to be there, all this kissing and touching that he hadn't really been able to picture.

It was…difficult to take in. He could feel that uncomfortable throb that meant a certain part of his anatomy had woken up, and he subtly adjusted himself, grateful that Ren seemed too busy attempting to avoid looking at the screen to pay any attention to him.

That had actually drawn his attention and had prompted him to ask her those questions, strangely disturbed by the thought of her not liking the idea of making love. He had no idea why. But he had quickly realized that she was just embarrassed, judging by the way she stammered and the bright blush staining her cheeks. It was actually kind of cute.

And then he had been hit by a new scent, one that made everything in him tense up, and he hissed, sucking in a breath through his nose as he took in that intoxicating smell. _What the hell is that?_ He glanced down at her, making brief eye contact and then averted his eyes, immediately knowing that it was coming from her. He didn't know what it was, or why she was producing such a scent, but the only thing that made even a tiny bit of sense, given his spectacularly intense reaction was that she was…well, feeling something similar to what had made him have to readjust himself. And that thought stopped all other thoughts in his head abruptly and without ceremony.

 _Ren is … aroused?_

 **Ren POV**

Thankfully the movie ended soon after that and I breathed a sigh of relief as I got up to stretch. That was a strange form of torture is what that was. If you want information out of someone, just stick them in the same room as someone they secretly loved and play a sex scene on TV and they'll tell you anything just to get out of that tense atmosphere.

"Ok, well …that was …uh…interesting?" I shakily mumbled.

Gaara replied with a noncommittal hum.

 _What in the hell had just happened? Why had Temari …? ….Oh…. I was gonna kill her._

"Gaara, I think we may have just been pranked by your siblings…" I said in a low voice. His head turned slowly and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"If they're watching us somewhere then we'll know for sure." I sent out a little sensorial breeze, focusing my chakra on finding Temari in particular, and sure enough both were on the second floor peeking over the banister down at us.

"Second floor, looking over the banister." I said softly so they wouldn't hear. "I'll take the stairs, you teleport behind them." He subtly nodded, looking about as ticked off as I felt.

I meandered casually over to the stairs, looked over at Gaara and nodded. He disappeared in a puff of sand and I heard a gasp and a grunt of surprise. I trotted up the stairs and came to the top just as Temari and Kankuro were attempting to back their way to safety.

"So…." I growled.

They whirled around, both wide-eyed and looking a little nervous. "Oh hi there…we were just coming down to see how you guys were doing…"Kankuro said and then looked back at Gaara who was behind them, standing with his arms crossed and a stern expression on his face.

"You are in such big trouble. What the hell were you two thinking?! What kind of prank was that supposed to be, you perverts." I growled, seriously pissed off now. I did not enjoy having my emotions toyed with like that.

"It wasn't a prank! We just thought you would enjoy the movie that's all!" Temari exclaimed, trying to look offended.

"You're a terrible liar Temari." I snarled.

"No seriously, we weren't trying to prank you guys!" Kankuro jumped in, "We were just … you know … we just thought that maybe it would help … since you guys don't really know anything about …." He was cut off when Temari smacked him on the back of his head.

"Shut up Kankuro. Just ignore him, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Right?" She glared at him and he scowled back at her.

I slowly absorbed what Kankuro had implied. So they had been trying to set us up? Or else they thought we were already together but just didn't know how to do it? Either way, they were gonna die.

"Oh, so you guys thought it would be fun to play match maker huh?" I asked sweetly, the sarcasm thick in my tone.

Kankuro gulped and Temari face palmed, then smacked Kankuro again for good measure.

"Well I just can't wait to return the favor." I smiled sweetly, already planning devious ways to humiliate them when they found love interests. They both paled.

I spun around and stalked down the stairs, satisfied that they knew not to mess around with that shit again.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara watched as Ren left angrily, her weight stomping down the stairs punctuating her exit. Temari and Kankuro turned hesitantly to him, to see if he had anything else to say. Was he mad at them? Yes, quite a bit. But at that particular moment he was still too busy dealing with what he had seen on that screen to have any energy to waste on them. So he simply gave them a good hard glare before making his own exit, teleporting back down to the first floor and joining Ren.

It looked as if she was getting ready to go, "Leaving?" He inquired softly, wondering why the idea made him feel so strangely.

It made him feel this strange sinking sensation in his gut. He didn't want her to leave, he realized, although he supposed he should have already known that. But emotions were still rather foreign to him, outside of anger and loneliness. Although, this feeling was similar to loneliness.

She nodded, in answer to his previous question and opened the door, which he quickly held open as he followed her out. She sent a glance back over her shoulder at him, almost looking apprehensive, but it seemed as though she was also a little glad since her eyes sparkled just a little with excitement.

He had been having difficulties lately with figuring out her emotions. One moment she seemed happy to see him, then abruptly acted afraid, and sometimes even angry. The fear bothered him more than he would like to admit. He hated the fact that for whatever reason it appeared as though she suddenly was inexplicably afraid of him. She had never seemed afraid before.

They didn't say much on the way to her house, both lost in thought. Despite being concerned about her new attitude and pissed off with Kankuro and Temari for putting the two of them into such an uncomfortable situation, he couldn't stop thinking about what he had seen. He now had a somewhat better understanding of what Ren had described as the physical representation of love. Before, when he only had what she had told him to go on, it had been a rather vague, somewhat disturbing, if exciting, idea. She had told him the mechanics, of what goes where and had alluded to there being more than just that, but he had been wholly unprepared for seeing it in a visual depiction.

Now he had mental images to go with the description. Even though nothing specific had been shown, there were certain movements that were obvious, lending certain thoughts of what exactly was going on that had them both looking so … well he wasn't really sure what to call it. Perhaps lustful was the word he was looking for. It had been depicted as being very enjoyable, and everything leading up to it had fascinated him endlessly as well, the way they had embraced and kissed each other.

Kissing was something Gaara had never spent much time thinking about, not really even aware of its existence. Of course he knew that pressing your lips to something or someone was a kiss, but he had never really thought much about it. And kissing someone on the lips seemed very strange to him, he wasn't sure how it could be enjoyable, but now that he thought about it, it seemed like a very … interesting idea.

He wondered how it would feel, to have your mouth on someone else's. Unbidden, his mind immediately drifted to Ren, wondering if her lips would feel soft, or maybe chapped. What would it feel like to touch her lips? He had, of course, had urges to touch her, especially lately, and had even succumbed occasionally. The most recent occasion being quite spectacular.

After those two bastards in the alley had said those vile things, suggesting that he had been … and that they wanted to … he had seen red, enraged beyond thought. He was actually surprised that he hadn't killed them on the spot, and was inordinately proud of himself for that. But still, afterwards, walking her home, he had been struck with the urge to embrace her, to hug her to himself so tightly that she would remain there forever. He couldn't stand the thought of those two … he just couldn't bear it if something like what had happened before ever happened again, no-one would ever touch her like that again. Not while he was still breathing.

His emotions, during that incident two weeks ago, had been so volatile, everything so intense that he felt like he would burst from the emotions, his chest burning with a heat to rival that of the desert sun. He had suddenly been consumed by these emotions for her, a chaotic mess of feeling protective, terrified, lingering anger at the two men, relief that nothing had happened, admiration and pride that she had so neatly taken care of the matter, and a deep, gut-wrenching affection.

He had thought that he had loved her when he was a child, in fact he was sure that he had. And now he felt brotherly love for his siblings, recognizing the emotion even though it was so strange to him, still a little disturbed by the warm fuzzy sensations. But this affection he had felt for her in that moment had surpassed all other before, and he truly hadn't known how to contain it, so he had submitted to the urge to embrace her, coming up from behind and pressing himself as close to her as he possibly could, hugging her.

Thinking back on it, Gaara could understand why she had acted so awkwardly around him today. He had pushed her, even though she responded and had even held his arms around her when he had been about to draw back, he had seen the way she reacted right afterwards. She had withdrawn, acting afraid, and he had been upset, concerned that he had overstepped his boundaries.

But even so, even though he had told himself he wouldn't ever push her like that again, he could feel that telltale urge pounding inside his chest again, the one that told him to clutch her to him and never let her go. And now it was driven impossibly higher by that damnable curiosity of his, his interest peeked after seeing that movie.

 **Ren POV**

I walked home with Gaara tailing me, the atmosphere between us quiet again, the air thick with unsaid tension. I didn't know what all made the air between us vibrate, but it made me uneasy. So when we reached my doorway I felt a good amount of relief, feeling the need to get away and have some breathing room from Gaara.

As I turned to say goodnight to Gaara, worked up by all the goings on, I was struck dumb by his expression. All I could do was stare at him silently, the goodnight dying on my lips as I watched his eyes glowing in the night. It was that eerie glow that his pale eyes always had, the absurdly light color refracting light in such a way that they shimmered with unearthly beauty sometimes, but now it almost seemed magnified somehow. His gaze was so intense that it immediately made my breath go still in my chest as I gazed hypnotized into his eyes.

My thoughts went silent in my head, and the only thing that now existed was him and the way he was looking at me. Everything inside of me began to burn. It was as if his gaze was like an electric jolt to my heart, sending it into a frenzied flutter, trying to fly up inside my chest. I shivered, trembling now as I leaned against the door behind me for support as his gaze slid down from my eyes to my lips, seeming to lock in place and sit there. The intensity of his gaze kicked up a notch and it was as if he was in some sort of trance as he leaned in closer to me, the motion subtle but undeniable. I gasped, my eyes widening in shock. _He couldn't be thinking of…._

My legs shook and the realization of what was happening hit me like a stampede of something really fast and heavy. His eyes on my lips burned, almost as if he was already touching me, simply through the intensity of his gaze. He took a small step towards me, bringing our bodies close, but not touching, as he leaned ever closer, his head dipping the short distance between our heights. I looked into his face, unable to do anything but stand there and shiver. It was as if I was under some spell, some secret jutsu that had frozen my muscles into place.

My chest burned, my stomach burned, my lower abdomen burned, it felt as if I was on fire. I panted and I could now feel his breath on my face, on my lips, as fast as my own. And suddenly I needed him to close those bare inches that separated us, struck by an impossible intense urge to feel his lips on my own, almost feeling as if I would die if he didn't go ahead and kiss me, as if my chest would just break apart under the pressure.

 **Gaara POV**

As he made to close those last few inches separating them he felt something stir inside of himself, something dark from the deep recesses of his mind. He could feel that demon rising it's head, drawn forth by his lust, and drawn by Ren's scent. There was something about her that attracted the monster within him, and suddenly he was afraid, nearly losing control of himself.

He gasped and jerked back, tearing himself away from her, terrified. He knew, without a doubt, that if he had let himself lose control like that with her, that _he_ would have come back out. And suddenly he knew, for whatever reason, that when Shukaku had said " **ours** " he had meant it. The sand demon saw her as his and wanted her.

Gaara shook his head, struggling against himself. If he lost control…there was no doubt in his mind that he would be doing a lot more than just kissing Ren, and he wouldn't be gentle about it either. While that prospect excited him in some deep part of himself, there was absolutely no way he would ever force himself on her, no way that he would _ever_ violate her trust in that way.

And so he made some excuse, some sort of goodbye tumbling from his lips as he made a fast get-away.

 **End Chapter 6**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Woohoo, is it hot in here or is it just me. ;)

Almost kiss, we're getting somewhere now! Of course, Ren is probably going to completely freak out and have a meltdown, so that might slow things down a little bit.

And yes, Gaara can smell her arousal. He can smell blood and sweat, what do you expect? It's probably part hormones and part body…eh….production. Just so ya know.


	45. Burn With Me: Chapter 7

After almost kissing me, I actively avoided Gaara for about a week, going out of my way to miss him. I was pretty familiar with his schedule, so it was relatively easy to avoid him. The few times I accidently got near him I would immediately turn around and go in the opposite direction. I was so shaken from the incident that I just didn't know what to do with myself.

After the almost kiss about a week ago I had stumbled inside and sat down hard on the floor, numb with shock yet again, and completely unbalanced. _Why did he keep doing this to me?_ He would touch me, or almost touch me, or say something that would turn my world upside down, and I was left a trembling shaky mess.

I had to reevaluate my emotions yet again. _Now I had to deal with lust as well as love? Was that normal? Well yeah, I guess that's what usually happens_. To be honest I had been attracted to him even longer than I had been in love with him, so I suppose I shouldn't have been that surprised by my intense reaction to the possibility of him kissing me. And yet somehow it had still come as an intense shock to my system.

I guess I had somehow managed to suppress those emotions unknowingly, even after acknowledging the love part of the equation. But now I knew, and it just made even more problems for me.

I was absolutely positive he had been about to kiss me … _But was it just an experiment? Simple curiosity brought forth from watching that movie_? _That had to be it_. And that would only lead to more pain for me. For some reason, I found it utterly impossible to seriously entertain any thought that he actually had feelings for me.

 _And why had he jerked back so abruptly? Was he frightened?_ Or did he suddenly come to his senses and realize that he didn't want to kiss me, maybe remembered that he didn't like physical contact? Or maybe that's what it was from the start, an experiment to see if he even could do that, touch someone else intimately. In which case I guess he discovered that no … he's incapable of touching someone else that way. And that thought made me inexplicably sad, for reasons I really didn't want to think about right now. I had enough on my plate as it was.

Whatever the case, it was awful and had left a longing deep in the pit of my stomach that had yet to abate even a week later.

I could only think that his reasons for kissing me weren't the same reasons that had made me want him to kiss me. And I _had_ wanted it, wanting it so intensely that my whole body had shook with it. I was terrified of my own reaction, and yet I still wanted him, as if my desire for him, to be close to him, to just be with him in any way possible, was slowly overwhelming my fear, even though the fear was paralyzing.

 _I'm a damn blushing virgin! For fuck's sake this is humiliating_. The whole thing infuriating me, which just added to the mess of everything else ping-ponging around in my brain. It was overwhelming.

And so I avoided Gaara for as long as I possibly could. Which turned out to be about a week, and then I guess he'd had enough of me being all shy. I was doing my thing, hustling through the market while glancing over my shoulder, when I nearly ran smack dab into Gaara.

"Oh shit!" I yelped and immediately backed the fuck up and turned to head off speedily in the opposite direction. Even so, I knew he had seen me, since I had seen him reach out as if to stop me, and he had looked a little ticked off when I turned to run.

Actually, he looked pretty damn pissed if I was being totally honest with myself.

I hustled home at top speed, my heart racing in my throat, apparently thinking it could run faster by itself and trying to make an emergency exit out through my mouth.

That had been close, way too close. I mean I wasn't planning on avoiding him for forever, but right now my head was just way too chaotic to be around him and not do something stupid. I darted into my apartment and slammed the door shut behind me, pausing to take a few deep, bracing breaths.

"This is fucking ridiculous…" I groaned, letting myself fall back against the door, and then slid down to the floor, putting my head in my hands and feeling thoroughly stupid.

This was exactly what I had been worried about, ruining our friendship just because of my own ridiculous feelings. I hated having to avoid him like this, but it seemed like the only feasible option right now. I truly was afraid that if I interacted with him I might give myself away, my emotions so unstable that I didn't think I could mask them properly.

I sighed and thunked my head against the door with a dull thud, only to be shocked by an answering knock from the other side. Well that was weird timing.

"Who is it and what do you want?" I asked loudly, not wanting to get up just yet, too comfortable sulking here like a small child on the ground.

There was silence on the other side of the door, and then a more insistent knock. "What the hell dude…?" I muttered out loud, still not convinced and just glaring up at the door knob as if it was its fault.

Another, even louder banging commenced and I cursed under my breath as I heaved myself off the ground, unlocked the door, and shoved it open, ready to give whatever sort of dumbass on the other side a tongue lashing.

As I opened the door, I froze, confronted by angry turquoise eyes.

"…erp…" I managed to squeak, making no sort of intelligent sense. I cleared my throat and smiled shakily, really wanting to just shut the door in Gaara's face, and actually sneaking behind the door just a smidge so I could peek out around it at him.

"Ah…hehe…hi there Gaara. Um, you sort of caught me at a bad time…uh…so…I'm just gonna…well…yeah…" I laughed nervously and started to shut the door, hoping he would just go away and let me hit my head a few more times for being an ineloquent stupid-head.

He put a swift end to that notion as his open palm landed, hard, on the door, keeping it from closing. He glared hotly and a growl rumbled in his chest. _Oops, I just pissed him off even more. Go me._

"Why are you avoiding me?" He growled, the tone deep and angry and underneath all of that, hurt. I felt my heart squeeze, knowing I was hurting him and hating myself for it. But there just wasn't anything else I could do at the moment.

"I'm not…" I sputtered, unnerved by his glare, "I'm not…avoiding you…exactly. I've just been…you know…busy…" I tripped over myself trying to figure out how to fix the situation.

His glare only deepened. "Liar." He snarled and crowded me, coming close, and even though the door was halfway in between us I felt like a mouse in a trap.

I sucked in a breath and braced myself on the other side of the door, trying really, really hard to look normal and as ticked off as I usually would be. But it was just so difficult to glare at him right now with my emotions as turbulent as they currently were.

"I…well…shit…okay…" I heaved a breath, "But now is _not_ a good time…"

He glowered at me, his pale blue-green eyes practically neon in his anger.

I muttered some sort of inane apology and some sort of goodbye and attempted to close the door again, really giving it a good heave this time.

Gaara snarled and wasn't having any of it, shoving back and getting his foot in the door. He pushed forward, elbowing his way through the gap in the doorway, and easily broke through. My emotions were such a mess that they actually seemed to weaken my resolve, which only served to assist him in breaking and entering.

I gasped, scooting back super-fast and putting as much distance as I could between us. _Okay, now I_ _ **was**_ _a little ticked off._

"For god's sake Gaara, I said now was not a good time! You can be so rude and pushy sometimes!" I gasped angrily, complete with stomped foot.

He just gave me a look and the door shut behind him with a definitive snap, making me swallow. _Er, right. Great. Wonderful. I can handle this. Totally._

He started to stalk towards me, looking for all the world like he wanted to shove me up against the wall and choke me to death, which he had actually nearly done a few times in our relationship, so it wasn't unpresented. But doing that sort of thing right now was about as far as something on my to-do list as I could think of.

 _Maybe I can't handle this._

"Why are you afraid of me?!" He rumbled almost accusatorily, stalking forwards.

I didn't answer, much too busy trying to come up with an escape route. I backed up, bumped into a wall, skittered sideways, bumped into some furniture, glanced around and realized I had cornered myself. _Shit._

He stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed, observing my antics with sharp eyes. Well, at least he wasn't taking advantage of my bad position, yet. His eyes narrowed and he repeated the question. "Why are you afraid of me?"

 _Nope, not gonna answer that one Gaara, sorry._ I mapped out our respective positions in the room, and did my best to plan the best route around him, and out of the bad situation I now found myself in. My fight or flight instincts had kicked in, and naturally I chose flight.

After a few moments he took a step in my direction and I scooched sideways in response. He growled, probably growing irritated at my lack of response and my skittishness. Frankly, it would have pissed me off, so I didn't blame him. We commenced a stare-off, him glaring and taking a step in one direction, me countering with an opposite movement, trying my best to scoot around him. I slid sideways; he slid sideways, over and over. We were at an impasse.

"Why are you afraid of me?" He asked again, his voice deep and forceful and irritated.

I huffed, getting tired of playing this game, and so I finally straitened up, growing slightly irritable myself and crossed my arms, glaring back at him. "Would you knock it off?"

He didn't respond, except to watch me with that same intense, narrow eyed expression. I huffed again and made to stalk by him, so over it all that I had momentarily forgotten to be afraid.

Gaara caught me by the elbow as I walked by, his hand firm but not unpleasant. I tensed, freezing in place, and slowly turned my head to give him an apprehensive stare.

"Why?" He asked softly, his eyes probing mine intently for an answer to his question. I glanced away, remaining silent, having nothing to say to him that wouldn't complicate matters and give me away.

He snarled and swung me around by my elbow, making me sputter. He practically tossed me in front of him, and I stumbled a short distance, catching myself on the wall and turning to give him the stink eye for being so bossy and rude. Except I got sidetracked, abruptly finding his ominous presence almost on top of me already. He must have followed me in my ungraceful progress towards the wall of the apartment to have gotten so close, so fast.

He got all up in my personal space, and I pulled back, pressing myself into the wall as I felt myself start to deflate, my righteous anger melting away in the face of all the other feelings swirling through me. Confusion, love, lust, fear, anger, and all sorts of gibberish was swirling around in my head and making a nonsensical tidal pool of cosmic crap that made it impossible for me to think properly.

He crowded me, not touching, but definitely making it impossible for me to sneak by him, with less than a foot of space between us now. He simply stood there and looked at me, looking intent and like he was trying to figure out a huge problem.

I leaned against the wall, feeling so confused, my emotions all over the place. I was so happy that he was here, and yet utterly terrified at the same time, and pissed off at myself for being too wishy washy. It felt like I was going insane.

He leaned in, pressing closer and my eyes widened as I gasped, feeling my belly clench tight. I wanted him to lean in even further, to close that little bit of distance in between us. And at the same time I wanted to hide, sink through the solid wall behind me and disappear from this situation. I couldn't help but want him to kiss me, and that was so incredibly stupid. Once again I found myself in that strange, urgent, paralysis, needing to get closer to him, and yet utterly unable to actually force my own body to do the deed itself.

And at the same time I felt like kicking myself. I knew he wasn't going to kiss me, and yet his proximity sent all kinds of irritating mixed messages through my skull.

 **Gaara POV**

She looked angry, and then afraid, and then angry again, and then back to afraid, and it confused him to the point that Gaara was starting to feel seriously cranky about it all. And even more bemusing, was the way she sometimes almost looked eager, almost happy, almost as if she wanted him to be there, to get closer to her, but then didn't want it at the same time. She was bombarding him with all kinds of mixed signals, and he didn't like it one little bit.

He leaned in a little more, having finally managed to pin her down in one place, and not about to let her go until he had some answers. He immediately saw her eyes widen, the pupils dilating and making her purple eyes dark and hypnotizing. He felt himself intensely drawn to her again, getting those same feelings as before, those same impossible urges to kiss her, to touch her, even though he knew it wasn't the right time for that sort of thing. He inhaled, controlling himself this time, but desperate to know why she was so afraid of him. Even now, especially now, her eyes were wide and terrified.

But as he leaned in even further, pushing her even though he knew he was really getting close to crossing the line, she flushed and her eyes flickered between fear and something else, something heated that looked suspiciously like longing. His gut clenched abruptly and he felt a flash of answering heat shoot through his own body, and knew his eyes had reflected the sensation, based on the way her eyes widened again and she swallowed thickly.

He stayed put through sheer force of will, wanting desperately to close those few inches between them, but knowing that that would totally fuck everything up. Almost kissing her had apparently freaked her out to the point that, to see her, he had fallen back into his old habits, stalking her like prey and even having to break into her apartment. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if he actually forced himself on her.

So he stayed put, locking his muscles and simply holding the intense proximity, hoping that the pressure would make her crack and spit it out already, tell him how he could fix this. Whatever this was. Gaara watched as she seemed to fight herself, her eyes flaring between fear, anger, and that heat that never ceased to make him struggle to hold his position. And he saw little flashes of something else, something soft that made her eyes glow in a way he had never seen before, and something in him ached, needing to see that, even if he had no idea what it was.

After a good few moments of tense silence in which she slowly lost her anger and started oscillating more between fear and that softer emotion, she finally settled on a look that almost broke him right there. She looked close to tears, her eyes pleading with him, begging him for something, and he wished desperately that he knew what she wanted, willing to give her anything to just take away that aching sadness.

As he looked into her eyes, staring deeply into those turbulent purple orbs, he could see so much and understand nothing at all, not having the slightest clue what it was that he was looking at. There was so much emotion there, so much pain and sorrow, so much confusion and fear, and yet something else, something that burned and soothed at the same time, and suddenly all he wanted was to see that. And only that, no fear or sadness, just that beautiful tenderness hovering at the edges of her eyes. He wanted to see it light up her eyes, as somehow he knew it could.

He sucked in a deep breath, pulling away jerkily as he came to an abrupt realization, suddenly knowing that she…was struggling with some sort of emotion, feelings….for him. He had no idea what those feelings were exactly, but it was obvious that it was tearing her apart. For whatever reason, her feelings towards him had changed, and it seemed like whatever had happened had frightened her. At that realization he felt something bloom to life within him, something warm and just a little fearsome, something frighteningly similar to hope.

He sucked in a deep breath, making up his mind then and there. He wouldn't make any more moves in that direction until he had some sort of sign from her that she was ready, even if it killed him to wait. He refused to push her and frighten her, knowing that he could potentially push her away in the process. He would wait until he could figure out exactly what she felt for him, and stopped being so damn terrified.

But that didn't mean that he was just going to leave her alone.

So he simply said, "Very well," surprised by the sound of his own voice as it came out velvety smooth and deep, almost purring in his throat. And he turned and left, giving her some space.

 _For now._

 **End Chapter 7**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hahaha, yeah, Gaara doesn't do well with being ignored. But now he's clued in to the fact that she feels something, even if he doesn't know what it is, and we know he feels something for her. But poor Ren, she's going to have to get a hold of herself!

So, what do you suppose Gaara is going to do?

;3


	46. Burn With Me: Chapter 8

I woke the next morning, jerking awake in my normal manner, having scrambled from a nightmare. I cut off my good morning scream by snapping my teeth together with a click and a growl. I untangled myself from the mess of sweaty covers that had wrapped around my body and bound my legs together, grunting and cussing as I did so.

It was not looking like it would be a good day.

Huffing and puffing I extricated myself and tumbled out of bed, staggered into the bathroom to do my morning stuff, tripped out of the bathroom half clothed, ate breakfast while pulling up my pants, nearly fell over, and sat down hard on the floor. I groaned and flopped back, lying there on the floor pathetically for a while, my empty cereal bowl clattering across the floor in a stupid happy dance, as I tried to convince myself to get up and do some grocery shopping.

My head was pounding, my eyes sticky and itchy from crying again last night after Gaara's pushy self knocked me for another loop. I groaned and sat up, scrubbed my hands over my face, and stood. I finished dressing and grabbed my sadly neglected grocery list. I sighed and opened the door to my apartment, exiting, then turning to lock the door.

I turned back around, only to make an unholy noise and leap a foot into the air as I nearly ran right into Gaara. Literally. He was right there, maybe a foot from the door, and I got to within an inch of my damnable weird stalker friend before nearly keeling over at the surprise of it.

I yelped, falling back in utter shock. "Gaara! Holy mother of…damnable… shitfire! What are you fucking doing here?" I wheezed, leaning on the wall for support, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

"Waiting." He said calmly, not at all ruffled by me being so ruffled. The bastard.

"Waiting?" I grumbled, straitening and consciously putting on my facade of being okay. It was easier this time because I was a little ticked off. That always helped to hide fear pretty well.

"Hm." Gaara made his typical non-syllabic response and I growled.

"Oh for fucks sake … don't do this to me Gaara …." I snarled and whined at the same time, which sounded very odd.

Silence.

I sighed and walked away, exasperated with him.

He followed.

After a moment I turned and gave him a squinty eyed look, "Seriously, what are you doing?"

"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked tentatively, so at odds with the way he had been acting lately that it threw me off guard.

"I'm just going to go shopping …" I trailed off at his expectant stare, and then I heaved a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Okay sure … but no more invasion of my personal space!" I said sternly, so over his pushiness that I wasn't about to have any more of it. Not when it meant something completely different to him than it did me. It was simply too painful.

He nodded, but a little crease appeared between his non-brows, almost looking a little hurt. My heart squeezed, and I immediately regretted what I had said, not wanting it to sound the way it did. _Damn it._

"I mean … You've been a little odd lately …" I trailed off, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

He slowly blinked, and I sighed, knowing he was in one of his non-talkative moods. I muttered "…whatever…" throwing up my hands and walked away, knowing good and well that he was planning on following.

I felt incredibly skittish, especially since he had been so pushy last night. I almost expected something similar. But he maintained about an arm's length between us and simply joined me as I went shopping. And I slowly relaxed, just a little.

I went to the market to buy groceries, giving him looks askance every few seconds to make sure he wasn't going to try anything. It felt strange to be so on edge around my best friend and the man I was in love with, but apparently that's what having so many emotional problems will do to ya.

I really had to get over all my insecurities, they were a 'real drag', in the words of that pineapple-head Shikamaru. I had gotten a little more exposure to him lately, since he had come to visit about a week ago on village business. Temari had been ecstatic, which of course translated into her being even more rude and outspoken than usual.

Once in the market place, I mostly ignored Gaara, choosing instead to focus on what I needed to get on my grocery list. "Okay, let's see…rice first…then noodles…hm hm hm…" My muttered conversation to myself devolved into meaningless humming.

I didn't notice the bemused glance Gaara gave me.

I made my way to the vendor that I always bought my rice and noodles from. Walking inside the little store front, I browsed the familiar shelves. "What to buy? Soba? No, no, I got that last week, maybe ramen…or perhaps…"

"Rice noodles?" Gaara offered, his comment working seamlessly with my spoken train of thought.

"Ah, that sounds good." I agreed, not even realizing that he had inserted himself quite neatly into my head.

I got some rice noodles, picked up some rice, bought a few beans and paid, going to the next store. As we walked Gaara randomly asked, "You only buy one kind of noodles every week?"

I shrugged, unapologetic about my idiosyncrasies. "Yep."

"…hm…" he responded in typical Gaara fashion, not sounding at all judgmental, just mildly curious. And perhaps a tad amused.

I had forgotten how easy it was to be with him, amongst all the chaos going on inside of me lately. He was so peaceful, rarely saying anything, and when he did make his short comments they were simply inquisitive, or mildly entertained, but never judgmental. Well…usually. Of course when he _was_ judgy, I typically agreed with him, because I was judging the situation myself, and usually a lot more verbally than Gaara.

I grabbed some milk and frowned at the strange new carton on the shelf. "What the hell? Lizard milk? That's not a thing." I tsked, unimpressed with the way they tried to advertise what was probably perfectly regular milk.

Gaara snorted behind me, the distinctive noise making me grin. I glanced back at him. "What do you think Gaara?" I asked pointing at the weird green carton. "Something you wanna try?"

His lip curled in a mildly disgusted expression as he nearly glared at the thing, looking offended. "…no." he said simply.

I huffed a laugh.

I finished up my shopping and headed home, Gaara excusing himself near my apartment and going off on his own. I stared at his retreating form, wondering what the heck that had been about. He was so weird.

 _The next day…_

I woke, stopped the stupid noise coming from my mouth, stretched, untangled, did my normal morning routine, ate breakfast, and headed out to the training fields. I was approaching a training dummy and mumbling to myself, again. I found myself doing that a lot more lately; maybe it was something I should be concerned about.

"…this one looks decent…only moderately banged up…" And then I flinched when someone answered me from behind.

"That one over there is better."

I jumped at least a foot into the air and whirled around, glaring at Gaara for sneaking up on me. Again. "Gaara! Goddammitall! Stop doing that!"

He just blinked serenely, making me roll my eyes to the heavens in aggravation. I mumbled under my breath and stomped over to the one he had recommended, finding that it was indeed in better shape. So I stepped back, and grumbled as I pulled a handful of shurikens from the strap around my thigh, beginning my training. I threw one, and then the next and the next, landing them all neatly at the dummies vital points. The next volley I sent, I tried attaching little streams of wind to them, which only worked to a certain extent.

"Your training is too easy." Came the gravely commentary from my right and I swiveled my head to give Gaara a look.

"Oh really? Pray tell, what did _you_ have in mind?" I asked sweetly, raising an eyebrow and giving him a sugary, acidic look over my shoulder. I kept my eyes trained on Gaara's as I flicked another shuriken at the dummy without looking, knowing that it had landed between its eyes.

His lips quirked up and the cork popped out of the gourd on his back. "Would you like a challenge?" He inquired pleasantly, his voice smooth and melodic as opposed to his normal gravelly tones.

"Certainly…" I responded in the same sort of voice, widening my stance.

"Hit the targets of those ten dummies over there." He pointed a little ways away, further than the first dummy, but easily within my range.

I slanted him a glance, "…okaaaaay…" I muttered, knowing there had to be more to it than that. As I drew my first shuriken and took aim, a wave of sand nearly bowled me over. I yelped, spat out a mouthful of sand, cussed colorfully, and abruptly began making evasive maneuvers.

So that was his game.

I was forced to run around to avoid the sand, leaping and spinning and ducking and flipping, Gaara's sand really putting me through my paces, all the while trying to get those damn targets. Yes, this was definitely more difficult. I still managed to accomplish my task in a decent amount of time, managing to avoid his sand and still get the shurikens to their targets.

Afterwards I stood huffing, a little out of breath, and turned to Gaara smugly. It was difficult to tell from his blank face, but the way his eyes looked at me warmly suggested that he was rather proud of me.

I grinned at him, having thoroughly enjoyed his challenge. "Wanna do it again?" I asked, ready for round two. His lips quirked up and his sand rose up, arched and ready to make an obstacle course.

I laughed and darted forward, using my Telaria Jutsu to stay in front of his sand. It was fun. I dodged and twisted, running and scrambling and leaping into the air only to dive to the ground a moment later. Anytime I let his sand get a little too close it gave me a ringing slap on whatever body part was closest, just sharp enough to sting a little and make things interesting.

I ended up with a few red spots afterwards, but victorious once again. Chuckling smugly, I walked back to Gaara, gathering shuriken on the way. Once I reached him he handed me the rest, having gathered them easily with his sand.

"Thank you." I huffed breathlessly, tucking them deftly into the slots on my straps again.

"…hm." He responded.

"…hm." I mimicked teasing him.

He just blinked at me.

"Well, I'm hungry. I think I'm gonna go get something to eat. What are you going to do?" I inquired as I tucked away the last of the pointy throwing stars.

"I'm going to take you to dinner. If that suites you." He rumbled, walking beside me.

I very nearly tripped on thin air. "Say what now?" I yelped, startled senseless. _He couldn't mean a date right? No, definitely not. That's impossible._ I peered at him curiously. _Then why's he asking me to dinner?_

He just blinked at me, looking somewhat bemused. "Dinner?" He repeated, shortening it to one word, as if maybe that would make it easier to understand.

"Eh. Sure?" I said, feeling like it was a date, but knowing that it wasn't, but wishing it was, but at the same time feeling awkward and a little frightened by the prospect, even if it definitely wasn't. _Wait, what?_ I shook my head, my thoughts so confusing I had to sort them out.

We walked towards a nice little sit down place. I never ate at sit down restaurants, since they tended to run a little too high for my budget. It was nice, a little uncomfortable, but nice, and I enjoyed the meal, just chilling in mostly peaceful silence. As we got our food I glanced at what he was eating, able to smell the spices from here.

"You and your spicy food." I chuckled, and he shot me an amused glance.

Throughout the evening I grew more and more comfortable, still on edge and still feeling tense from all those stupid emotions and hormones and fun nonsense, but trying my best to ignoring them. Actually, after having been forced to deal with Gaara for a while, it seemed as if it was all becoming a little easier to manage.

So I actually managed to have a decent meal without letting my stupid emotions ruin it for me. I just tossed all that stupid nonsense clogging up my heart in the metaphorical closet temporarily, or at least attempted to, although I didn't totally succeed.

After dinner, he walked me home, and I started to get tense again, remembering the almost kiss. Yesterday we had walked back in the middle of the day, but today we had been training most of the day, and after the leisurely dinner it was getting to be dark, making it feel much closer to the last time he had walked me home in the dark, an adventure that had nearly ended with a kiss. Thankfully he took his leave plenty early and I breathed a sigh of relief, finishing the last block by myself.

 **Author's Note:**

Okay guys, I know everyone's getting ticked off with me for dragging it on so long, so I'll make a deal with you. I finished the semester so I'm gonna start cranking out chapters like a crazy person. I'll post every other day, or maybe even every day, we will see. And then later when I've finished and I go back and repost the stories, I'll probably combine some of the chapters so it's not quite so dang long. I had no idea it was gonna be this long, so sorry about that. So hang in there with me please, it's gonna go quick now. I'm also going to go ahead and combine chapters from now on, so expect longer chapters to come down the pipeline.

:3

A gift to all those people who have stuck with me so long. And read my notes. HA.


	47. Burn With Me: Chapter 9

Maybe I had missed something, because for some reason, it appeared that Gaara was now stalking me…again. Everywhere I went he was there, and it was starting to bug me. As much as I liked Gaara's company, the idea that he had once again become unhealthily obsessed with me was a frightening prospect. My feelings were still new, and having had so much Gaara exposure lately had worn my nerves thin.

The next day when I went to training the fields again, Gaara was once again there, and once again he came over to join me. The idea of him following me was the last straw. "Are you following me Gaara?" I asked, an edge to my voice.

He didn't answer, merely stood there and watched me with that unwavering x-ray gaze of his, putting me even more on edge and driving me to my breaking point. Sure we had had a pretty good day yesterday, and the day before that. We had had some fun, and I had even started relaxing around him again, but this was getting to be a bit much. Being around him so constantly had pushed my emotions to the very limit, since I had been working so hard to control them for the past two days, and that led to me getting pissed.

It wasn't the best response, but it was one I couldn't help, anger feeling better than the helpless confusion and fear that had been plaguing me. "Gaara…." I growled, widening my stance. "You are such a stalker."

He scowled and his eyes narrowed. "Oh really?" He rumbled.

"Yes really. You've been everywhere I've been lately! What's up with that?" I snarled, narrowing my eyes at him and ignoring the fact that I was being a bitch.

Gaara's head cocked to the side, his eyes tightening and a little scrunch appearing between his naked brows, obviously hurt by my aggression. "You want me to leave you alone?"

I couldn't bear that look in his eyes and I groaned, face palming, as I realized that I was just taking out all my insecurities on him. I sighed and relented, my shoulders slumping. "No it's not that, it's just…" I sighed again, unable to explain myself without giving myself away, "I'm sorry for exploding. I've just been under a lot of stress lately and I guess it all came out on you."

His face relaxed and he nodded, accepting my apology and explanation without question.

From then on, I accepted his silent presence, remembering that he's my best friend, even if I currently had all sorts of confusing feelings. I decided then and there that I would never let my own mess of nonsense hurt our friendship. It was too precious to me. I never wanted to do anything to hurt him emotionally, or hurt our friendship.

I wouldn't let my love for him interfere in our current relationship.

The next day he didn't show up in front of my apartment, hopping out of the shadows and scaring the piddle out of me. Strangely I was disappointed, almost having come to expect it … though, I still hadn't gotten used to it, but who would?

I sighed, my shoulders slumping a little in dejection, and walked to the market, intent on getting some fruit. I somewhat forlornly glared at the various fruits, not really hungry anymore. This was pathetic. After only a couple of days, I had come to look forward to his face outside of my door. _Wow, I'm a sad, love-sick puppy dog. Damn._

As I pouted in front of some sort of exotic pineapple, I was startled by a familiar gravelly voice coming from behind me, "If you hate pineapple so much, why are you in front of the pineapple vendor?"

I jumped from shock and then whirled around, startling him with a broad smile. Try as I might, I couldn't keep the grin off my face, too happy to see him to contain my giddiness. "I don't hate pineapple." I chirped.

"Then why were you glaring at it?" He asked, looking bemused, his head cocked to the side ever so slightly.

"Was I? How strange." I hummed, not answering his question at all.

He just blinked and then let it go. I continued on my fruit trek, hunting for breakfast. Eventually I settled on a small round purplish fruit that was super sweet with a little bit of tartness that I really liked, and had the benefit of not being super expensive.

With Gaara's distinct quiet presence taking up the space behind me I found myself in a much better mood. Which was just sad.

I purchased a few of the fruits and bit into one carefully, expecting the rush of juice. It took a while to develop the proper technique for eating these without getting juice all over yourself. I offered one to Gaara as we parked ourselves under a canopy in the central area of the market. He looked at it somewhat stand-offishly, not entirely sure about it.

"Oh come on. Try it." I wiggled it by the stem to try and tempt him. When I got no response, I waved it around in the air comically.

The corners of his lips curled just a tad and he reached out, firmly capturing my hand and the fruit. I tensed just a tad at the feeling of his warm palm wrapped around my hand, but he quickly extricated the fruit from my grasp and his hand pulled away with the purple sphere. He gave it a stern look, and then hesitantly bit into it.

I was fascinated, watching as his teeth bit into the outer peel and then stalled, not expecting it to be so tough. I snorted. "You have to bite hard and fast at first to get through the skin." I offered. "You'll need to try again and bite harder this time to start with."

His eyes slid my way, his teeth still imbedded in the skin, and he gave me a slanty eyed look. Holding that look, an almost challenging glint in his eye, I saw his jaw tense and he bit down, hard.

I blinked, impressed. As I had suggested, I would have just detached my teeth and gone at it again, knowing from experience how difficult it was to get your teeth through the skin once they had been stalled like that. But apparently he had a pretty strong bite, or maybe his teeth were sharper than mine because he bit through the skin pretty easily once he put his mind to it.

I shrugged, "Or you could do that…" and then I fought to not laugh as Gaara's eyes popped open wide. Having gotten through the tough outer skin, I knew from experience that his mouth would now be full of juice.

He made an awkward sputtering noise and I could see his throat working, probably trying to swallow without choking on the unexpected fluid. His eyes opened wide, then squinted, then one squinted and the other opened wide. It seemed that he couldn't quite make up his mind. He pulled away, the nearly clear, sort of green juice heavily coating his lips and dripping down his chin now.

He stared at the fruit in shock, then licked his lips, his expression betraying intense fascination and surprised pleasure. He watched curiously as the sweet sticky liquid oozed from the sphere in his hand and began to drip onto his palm. He blinked and then went back in, sticking his tongue out and licking the juice that had escaped onto his skin.

It was funny to watch him eat the overly juicy fruit because he was trying to be stoic about it, but had obviously never had any before, and liked it, so the childish delight was wonderful to see. The way he scrambled to catch the juice was also funny, and perhaps a little of something else. Seeing him reduced to lapping at both the fruit and occasionally his own skin to try and stymie the flow of juice made me feel a little funny, and I had to overt my eyes from his pink tongue.

I cleared my throat and looked away, working on my own fruit to clear my head.

 _Later..._

That night I contemplated why he was suddenly everywhere, thinking about the incidents leading up to it. I came to the conclusion that I must not have covered up my emotions very well and he had seen how terrified I had gotten. He probably thought I was afraid of him. So I concluded that he must be trying to reassure me or something, by being super friendly and following me around everywhere.

And over the next few weeks he kept it up, paying a lot more attention to me, spending time with me, going out of his way to be with me or at least in my general vicinity. The only thing I could figure was that he was just trying to get me comfortable with him again. Apparently he was trying to _force_ me to relax through sheer Gaara overexposure. The idea that I was frightened of him must have disturbed him deeply for him to be going this far.

It was very difficult for me though. Even though I had grown to enjoy his company again, the thought of those things sometimes still terrified me. Like with the fruit juice, as I had watched it ooze out of the fruit to coat his lips, I had been struck with the most intense urge to taste it, to kiss him, so powerfully that I had, had to look away. Once again those feelings had frightened me, but this time I had refused to let the fear take me over. At least, it seemed I was getting better at managing my problems.

Several weeks passed in this way and things got both better and worse.

Being around him so much was growing increasingly painful. Knowing that I loved him, but that he only had friendly feelings towards me, was hard to swallow. I mean sure, there was that weird little burp in our relationship where he tried to kiss me, but I was sure that that had been from some strange curiosity on his part and not the same sort of emotion that I had experienced.

Of course if he loved me back, I would have a whole new problem, because then it would make sense for us to become a couple, and that was terrifying too. But even so, I did want that, and even just admitting that to myself was frightening. I knew I wanted to be with him, but I was much too afraid to pursue it.

Slowly the fears of just being in love with him softened, the novelty wearing off and leaving me to enjoy his company again. Things calmed down finally, as I realized my fears were ridiculous. They didn't go away completely, but I grew more comfortable with myself and my own emotions, allowing myself to love him, but just doing my best to guard myself against the longing.

I tried not to think about it too much, because it was still difficult to be around him, increasingly so, if I let myself long for him. I could be with him and spend the entire time wanting to run my fingers through his fantastic hair, or even simply struck with the strange sudden desire to touch his hand, or his neck, or any part of him that drew my attention. I constantly wanted to touch him, to be closer to him, to kiss him. I would fantasize about tracing the kanji on his forehead with my fingertips, or tracing out where most people had eyebrows, or kissing his dark eyelids, and all sorts of other things.

So I just didn't let myself think about it, because it was torture to be close to him but not allowed to touch him. The idea that he didn't love me the way I loved him hurt more and more, overshadowing the fears. But that was easier to take at least. Simple pain was easier to deal with, than both pain and fear.

 **Author's Note:**

Okay so yeah, this was a shorter chapter, but I'm combining a couple for the next chapter, so I'll make it up to you.

Well, Ren has some issues, but it appears she's finally working through them little by little.


	48. Burn With Me: Chapter 10 & 11

**Chapter 10**

Things went mostly back to normal, nothing weird happening, Gaara making no more moves towards me in a way that indicated he was interested. So, I assumed that it was as I had thought, and he had simply been curious after watching that damn video. That was good in some ways, because it helped me to relax even further around him, and awful in other ways, as the pain in my chest grew.

Strangely, I hadn't realized how many times he had touched me until it stopped … really just a handful of incidents, but there had been an easiness about it, almost. And now it seemed that he was trying actively to keep a certain amount of space between us.

So, I was left to normalize, my emotions finally coming back under my control. I grew accustomed to being in love with him, grew used to the way I would long for him, almost comfortable with that strange deep ache in my chest. And thank god that my fears finally decided to lessen, giving me a little breathing space. Those buggers had been the bane of my existence for a good long while, so the reduction was like skipping through a field full of flowers in my mind.

It certainly made sleeping easier, the nightmares lowering slightly in intensity. They had gotten impossible for a while, often increasing in frequency and intensity from stress, and all that fear had been pretty stressful. But this morning I woke refreshed, having experienced a night without waking up shaking and screaming in the middle of the night. I smile and yawned, enjoying the chance to wake up normally. I stretched luxuriously, since I could, and then eventually got out of bed.

After breakfast, I decided to head on down to the office and see if I couldn't pick up a small job, just some small low-ranked mission that would put a little cash in my pocket so I could go buy groceries again. I trotted down the streets, used to waking up from my nightmares before the sun rose, so I enjoyed the early morning sunshine. It hadn't gotten boiling hot yet, and the rosy color in the sky was lovely.

Once in the office I went to the desk where all the normal missions could be signed up for. "Hey there Naru, how's it going?" I greeted the low-ranked council member that had gotten assigned this job, which was essentially front desk duty.

"Okay I suppose. You look awfully happy this morning. Usually you're so cranky when you come in in the mornings."

"Well, I slept well last night." I grinned and leaned on the desk. "So, got anything easy that I can do in a day? I need grocery money." I laughed sheepishly.

He grinned, knowing the feeling, having been there himself once. "Sure, let's see …. Hmm well Ichigo's dog is on the loose again, no? I don't blame you, he's a nasty one. How about …. Oh here's one, looks kinda interesting too. It's to go find some rare herbs a little west from here, shouldn't take you too long, although they're said to grow in some incredibly strange places that take a lot to get to. What do you think?"

I nodded, my interest peeked. "Sounds good. Is there a map?"

"Sure … hold on … ah here we go." Naru smoothed out a map on the table. "You will be looking for diaphanous mushrooms here," he circled a part of the map with a red pen, "in some desert caves. Watch out for those creepy crawlies, I've heard they can be nasty in the caves around there. Then you'll want to look for some fire flower here," he circled another part of the map, pretty close to the other place he had circled, and all within a day's journey from Suna. "They can be found on the tops of the sand dunes here, pretty close to this oasis. But the dunes are really tall and can be very treacherous. Then, the last one you'll find is on the other side of the oasis, there is a cool spring under the oasis. I would recommend you take a lunch break here because I heard that the oasis is fantastic, very refreshing in the middle of the day. Plus, I think there's even some fruit growing there around this time. After going through the oasis you'll go about two miles to this sort of rocky outcropping. Right before you get to it you'll hit some quicksand so watch out for that, but right around there are the tuberous amphora, which is the last herb on your list. They grow right near the hot springs that are in these rocks, that's what makes the quicksand. So you'll find them there. I might also advise taking a dip in the hot spring if you have the time. They're supposed to be great. Alright, that ought to do it. I'll expect you back today or tomorrow. Here are the bags for the herbs. They've been pretreated to best carry each one and are labeled, so don't mix them up."

I nodded and took the pouches from his hands and rolled up the map. That was one thing I loved about Naru, he really went over the landscape with you, just so long as you showed up early before the crowd.

"Thanks Naru, see ya soon." I waved and trotted out of the office, nearly colliding with a certain red-head that I couldn't seem to shake. "EEP! Oh, it's you Gaara. Damn, you startled me. How do you always pop out of thin air like that?" I mock glared up at him and then took a step back, realizing I was standing too close.

He just blinked at me and said, "Hm."

"Ah, of course, why didn't I think of that? Eloquently put as always Gaara." I teased and then made my way to the gate. He followed.

"Where are you going?" He inquired, his voice just a tad more gravelly than usual, sounding as if he hadn't fully woken up yet.

"I have a mission to go collect some herbs. You wanna join me? It should be fun, there's an oasis and everything." I prompted, eager at the prospect of having his company along with me.

"I'll meet you at the gate." He answered and disappeared in a puff of sand.

"Okaaaaay …"

And true to his word he was standing by the gate when I arrived, laden with his travel pouches and a bag hung from his gourd. He joined me and we took off across the sand, heading towards the first destination, which were the caves.

We reached them in two hours, and paused to drink from our canteens before we entered, both of us quite thirsty after running in the now very hot sun. "Before we go in there, Naru warned me that we should be on the lookout for particularly nasty creepy crawlies. He didn't specify what kind."

Gaara nodded and we slowly made our way into the relatively small opening, having to squat a little to fit. After crouching for a while it widened somewhat to allow for us to walk in single file, but not crouched.

I turned on my light, finding it easily in my pouch. It had gotten dark abruptly quickly. We came to another crevice, this one so short we would have to take it on hands and knees. I gripped the metal ring at the end of my light with my teeth and took the lead. There was enough room that the roof of the cave wasn't scraping our backs, but it was still a little too low to allow us to comfortably squat.

We went forwards several feet before we came to a bend. I went around first naturally, since I was first, and that's why I saw the giant spider before Gaara. The thing was as big around as my head, not including its legs, and it was crouching in the tunnel, surrounded by a web trap.

I immediately scooted back around the bend, having to shuffle on my hands and knees, backwards since the tunnel wasn't wide enough for me to turn around. I was not fond of spiders at all, especially ones that looked like they could actually maybe be big enough to wrap me up and eat me. Of course I momentarily forgot that Gaara was behind me, and in my hastiness I scooted right up into him. He hadn't made it around the bend yet, but I still kept going, wanting to put a good few feet between us and the bend, just in case that spider was more like a tarantula and hunted its prey.

"Back, back, back, back, back, back, back." I muttered quietly and urgently and Gaara complied, until I stopped, at which point he also stopped.

I had scooted right up underneath him, in between his arms so that now his front was pressed to my back and his arms were on the outside of mine. Strangely, though this intimate position would normally terrify me, it actually comforted me to feel his muscular frame around my own. I really, _really_ hated spiders. It was one of the few things that actually creeped me out.

I shuddered against him, waiting to see if we would be followed. He was tense against me. "What is it?" He muttered softly, bending his head closer to my own so that his chin was over my shoulder.

"Really. Big. Spider." I said under my breath, and as if on cue we heard telltale skittering echoing in the tunnel ahead of us. _"Shit."_ I hissed.

I heard a subtle pop and suddenly there was a waterfall of sand that flowed from Gaara's gourd on his back, which had been scraping the ceiling as we crawled along this tunnel. It spilled over both of our shoulders, startling me at first, but then I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that there was absolutely no chance of that spider getting to us through Gaara's sand. It swirled around our hands for a moment, and I had a brief realization that this was what it must feel like to be Gaara, in the sense that I had never been so closely pressed to him during the release of his sand, so that it swirled around me as well as him. It was actually a pretty cool experience.

The sand slid forwards, just in time, as that giant asshole spider rounded the corner, obviously interested in potential dinner. It was out of luck though as Gaara's sand made quick work of it. I breathed a shuddering sigh of relief and scooted back out from under Gaara.

"Gaara, have I told you how much I love that sand of yours before?"

I heard a sharp inhale behind me as my words registered. "No …" He murmured, sounding shocked.

I left it at that and carefully picked my way around spider remains, then rounded the corner only to remember that there was still the web to deal with. Thankfully, Gaara's sand was still out and about.

Gaara rounded the corner behind me and then I felt him run into me, his chest bumping into my back since I was sort of sitting on my knees. He craned his neck around my shoulder to see what had brought me to a halt, and his sand immediately cleared the web from the ceiling and floors.

Only to reveal a whole host of other problems.

"Oh for crying out loud," I muttered as dark shadows skittered this way and that in the suddenly wider tunnel. The tunnel was wider but not taller, so we still had to crawl, but many more bugs could sneak up on us. Gaara's sand quickly rose up on both sides and I backed up beside him, the tunnel wide enough now that we could crawl side by side.

The sand boxed us in on both sides and behind, only leaving the front open. Of course even that wasn't safe as a large centipede skittered in from the front. I yelped, but before I could skewer it with a kunai knife Gaara's sand had whisked it out, forming a swirling floor beneath us. Actually, at this point the floor hardened and Gaara sat down on it, sort of scrunched over and leaning on his elbows.

I turned to look at him, incredulous. "This isn't the best place to rest Gaara …"

He just gave me a look, and then we began to move, the sand on which we were siting gliding forward in a smooth motion. "Oh … neat." I plopped down next to him, letting the sand do all the work.

The tunnel turned out to be quite long, so we simply rode it out on the sand, the walls protecting us from the bugs. Finally it ended and we were spat out into a large cavernous area.

"Aha. Bingo." I said, satisfied, and turned off my light, the light from the glowing mushrooms more than enough. "Here we go." I pulled out the pouch labeled 'mushrooms' and started filling it with the dainty looking shrooms that matched the picture on the front. Gaara kept watch for spiders and other such things. I was grateful that he hadn't made fun of my stupid fear of the darn things.

Once the pouch was full, I closed it and stuck it back in my bag. We turned around and the sand encased us again as we floated back down the tunnel, quicker this time. We popped out into the first hall and made our way out of the caves back into the bright sunshine. I sighed and popped my stiff back. "Well that was fun …" After a moment of stretching I took out the map and located our next target. "Next up is the fire flowers on the sand dunes. This way."

We took off. It took us another two hours to reach the tall dunes, and I realized why Naru had warned us to be careful. I whistled as I took in the massive wall of sand in front of us.

We scaled it relatively easily by using the same sort of chakra control that one would use when on water. Even so, the sand shifted constantly, and more than once we were sliding backwards at dangerous paces. It was only thanks to Gaara's control over the sand that we were able to make it to the top, both slightly out of breath. I knew controlling sand that hadn't been infused with his chakra was more difficult for Gaara.

"Hooooooly shit …." I gasped, noting the nearly vertical drop we were presented with now, and from up here I could see that we had several more of these giant dunes to cross over … lovely. "Well, nothing for it I guess … first one down is a rotten egg!" I shouted and leapt into the air, shrieking as I plummeted down. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooowwzzaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The thrill of falling turned my stomach inside out and upside down, which really wasn't a very pleasant sensation, but I forced myself to relax into it and then it was lovely, for the few seconds I had to enjoy it.

As the ground rushed up to meet me I quickly performed a wind gust jutsu to slow my decent. The incredible power of the wind I summoned made a dull roar, and then kicked up a geyser of sand, which I just so happened to be unlucky enough to be in the middle of. I swiftly shut my eyes as sand blew everywhere. I landed relatively softly, if a little ungracefully. I still needed to work on that.

As I shook out the sand from under my clothes, I looked up to see Gaara essentially surfing down the side of the dune in sinuous bends and twists, taking it crosswise instead of head on so as to not fall strait down the side. He gracefully bent and swayed his body to keep his balance, his arms in front and behind as he controlled the thin band of sand he was surfing on. I was entranced, watching his graceful decent, so elegant in comparison to my own … _showoff._

Of course, that might have to do with him not shouting any strange groups of vowels and syllabus as I had. It was rare to see Gaara move in this way, even fighting. Half the time he had his arms crossed, although not nearly as much as he used to before he learned Taijutsu. Now it was often that he used his body to direct his sand more actively, which made watching him more enjoyable for sure. It was a secret guilty pleasure that I sometimes indulged in, watching Gaara moving in his smooth, deliberate way. He was very graceful when he did fight, or in this case surf, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

But of course I couldn't let him know that … plus I didn't want him to get too cocky. So I acted unimpressed, crossing my arms and doing my best Gaara impression.

As he slid to a stop in front of me I said, "You lose."

He simply looked at me and then a tiny curl appeared at the corners of his mouth. "You said 'first one down is a rotten egg' and you were first."

I processed what he said. "Wait … I did? Well, damn." And laughed.

It was a tedious and grueling process to climb the next dune, and the next and next. "Oh for … the love of… fucking sand ….goddammit ….gyah." I huffed and puffed at the top of the third dune. "How many …of these things…are there? ….shit…."

Even with using chakra at the bottom of our feet to keep us from sinking into the sand and enabling us to walk on the surface, it was still difficult because the sand was piled so high that it was unstable, shifting from right beneath us, sending us back every few feet we went up. Even with Gaara's sand manipulation, he couldn't manipulate the whole damn mountain. Well he could, but it would drain all his chakra and we had another one to scale after.

I collapsed onto my back, staring up at the bright blue sky and squinting, the sun being an asshole again. It was also further along in the sky than I had expected, indicating that this mission was taking longer than I had planned. I groaned and made a face as the sun burned down and made me uncomfortable, closing my eyes, but still the sun was too bright. Suddenly there was blessed shade and my eyes popped back open in surprise.

I looked up to see red pants and a white cloth dangling about a foot above my nose. I blinked, surprised to find Gaara practically standing on top of me, at such an angle that his body created a tiny bit of shade for my head and upper body. His arms were crossed and he was staring off to the side, acting all nonchalant about it, as if to say, _'no, no, I just wanted to stand here. It's not like I'm trying to make you more comfortable or anything_.'

I sighed and enjoyed it for a moment, but then decided that nap time was over. "Well, guess we better move on…" I sat up. And then I sat still for a second, completely baffled and thoroughly amused. Gaara's white sash was dangling in my face now, having draped over my head when I had sat up.

"Hey Gaara? I think your sash likes me too much." I said, trying to sound serious, but the little tremors indicated my amusement as I tried to not laugh.

I heard a snort from above me, and knew that he found it just as amusing.

I scooted out from underneath his sash and stood, taking in the landscape. Thankfully it looked like we were currently on the last gigantic sand dune, and I could see an oasis a little ways away from the one we were currently sitting on, which meant that the fire flowers should be around here somewhere.

"I think the fire flowers are supposed to be on the top of this dune … so let's look around and see if we can find any." I mumbled, already searching and sounding distracted.

"Hm."

I looked this way, Gaara looked that way, and eventually we found enough to fill the bag, the little bright red flowers scattered here and there throughout the sand in little tufts of green. Once we had filled the bag, we slid down the last dune and aimed for the oasis, both needing to cool down and relax for a little while.

 **Chapter 11 (Okay so this was where I was going to cut off, but as promised I'm combining chapters now. On with the show!)**

It was truly beautiful. Being in such a remote location, it was unmarked, looking pristine. There were some broad-leafed palm trees scattered thickly in some parts, providing a good amount of shade. They were particularly crowded around a good sized little lake with clear blue waters. There were even flowers scattered here and there. None of the fire flowers though, those grew in the harsh conditions at the top of the dunes.

I immediately made a beeline for the water's edge, refilling my canteen with the sparkling liquid and drinking deeply, the water tasting sweeter than any from Suna, especially since I was really fucking hot and tired.

Even Gaara seemed relieved to sit and take a long drink of water. I dipped my hand in the water and cupped out a handful, pouring it over my head to help me cool off. I made an involuntary noise between a yelp and a moan as the cold liquid both shocked and pleased my hot skin.

I didn't notice the way Gaara twitched and flushed lightly at the sound.

Groaning, I stuck my hands in the water and simply left them there, the cold water feeling so good. After a while I brought them out and put my wet hands to my face, shocked by the difference in temperature, the skin on my face blisteringly hot compared to my refreshed palms. When I looked at my reflection in the water, I noted that my cheeks were very pink, indicating how hot I was. Sand ninjas in particular knew the dangers of being out in the desert in the middle of the day at high sun.

The water left on my hands evaporated quickly and I lay back on the slightly grassy bank next to the water, Gaara sitting next to me. I glanced over to him, and noticed that he looked as pale as ever, not red at all, and frowned. Surely he was as hot as me.

Curious, I reached over and prodded his hand, which was resting on his leg near where my shoulder was lying on the ground. He flinched, jerking his head to the side to look down at me with surprised eyes. As I touched his skin I immediately noticed the grainy texture and the subtle shifting where my finger poked.

Sitting up abruptly I said loudly, "You cheater! You're using your sand as a shield against the sun aren't you?!" I was feeling unjustly pissed off. Mainly because I was just jealous.

His eyes were a little wide with shock, still surprised that I had poked him, and perhaps a little flustered that I had found out his secret. But of course I couldn't really tell, what with that smooth mask of his. _Actually …. Maybe that's part of his secret. Can he use his sand to mask his expression? Making him look perfectly calm?_ I think I remembered seeing in the Chunin exams at one point, that he had a wild expression, but it melted away as the sand rushed to his face.

I scowled, the idea that he might be using his sand to mask his expressions making me even more jealous and ticked off. It was difficult enough to tell what he was thinking normally, now with his sand in the equation there really was no telling anything about him.

"Why you little … how dare you … I bet you even use that to mask your expression sometimes don't you?"

His expression, of course, remained blank.

"See! I bet your doing it right now!" … No response… "Take it off right now! Let's see if you're as calm as you look!" I crossed my arms and glared at him. He glared back.

"No." He responded, his eyes resolutely staring at me through that mask of his.

I huffed, beyond exasperated. "Okay then … you asked for it." I bent over and spooned out a handful of water from the pool and quickly tossed it at him, managing to get him with a pretty good spray of water.

He jerked back, taken by surprise, but the water sprinkled his face, making it a weird spotty brown. He only had enough time to glare and sputter before I hit him with another couple of double handfuls, the liquid soaking his sand.

His face completely turned that strange brown color and he glared, his eyes wide and incensed. I paused, taking in just how pissed off he looked and reconsidering my actions as a good idea.

 _Whoops._

"Did you just…?" He hissed, sounding as mad as he looked, which was very.

On the other hand, his angry expression was a little humorous when a large chunk of his sand face suddenly detached itself and fell off. I snickered, watching as his uncovered eye screwed up more intensely than the one still armed with sand. So it was true, it may not mask them completely, but it definitely disguised his expressions.

I watched, fascinated, as his face crackled, the wet sand not very malleable. He snarled and apparently decided that he was done with it and let the sand on his face fall off with a rather interesting thump. I blinked, a little taken back by just how pissed off he was underneath all that sand. Then suddenly his expression changed to one that was as calculating as it was unnerving, and I got the distinct impression that I was in bigger trouble now than when he was pissed. I contemplated a number of plans of escape in the few seconds it took for me to discover what exactly he had up those crafty sleeves of his.

I suddenly felt a forceful push from behind and was sent head first into the oasis pond. I gasped and squeaked, quickly shutting my eyes as I was completely tossed into the water, which turned out to be rather deep and very cold. It came all the way up to my chest, when I finally managed to stop cartwheeling through the water in what I was sure was a very amusing display.

I sputtered and coughed, spitting out a mouthful of water as I broke the surface. "GAARA!" I yelled with a voice that was several tones too high due to the shock of cold my body was currently cussing at.

He just smirked widely, and for a moment I was so surprised that I forgot I was angry. It was so rare for him to smile so widely and openly, perhaps he covered his smiles with sand.

Then I remembered that I was ticked off with him and quickly came up with counter measures. Using my arm like a flat paddle I sent a wave of water splashing at Gaara. He attempted to duck out of the way, but failed miserably and was rather wet all of a sudden. I busted out laughing as he sat there dripping little bits of wet sand and glaring at me from under his sopping bangs.

He shed his gourd, which hadn't gotten particularly wet, and his sand armor peeled off his arms in a rather disturbing display. Then he slowly stood, crossing his arms and glaring down at me. So naturally I had to splash him again, causing him to both sputter and growl at the same time, which turned out to be a rather endearing noise, strangely enough.

Scowling deeply, he stalked towards me across the water, using his water walking jutsu. I yelped and dove under the water, calling a bubble of air around my head so that I could stay under. I swam down to the deepest point and grabbed a couple of rocks to hold me there as I stared up gleefully at Gaara who was standing directly over me now. Even through the water I could see his exasperated, pissed off expression as he glared down at me. Struck by a delightful idea I sent my chakra through the water, searching for the wind above and drawing it into the water around Gaara's feet, making the surface so bubbly and uneven that he was unable to adjust his chakra fast enough and he dropped into the water fully. He floundered around for a moment before he was able to reach the surface and gulp down some air, clumsily keeping his head above the water with a doggy paddle at first, before he realized he could kick his legs.

It was then that I realized that Gaara wasn't the best swimmer in the world, which made sense. I swam up to the surface. "You kind of deserved that one for pushing me in." I pointed out to him as he scowled at me.

"You started this." He pointed out, sounding sullen. I shrugged, acknowledging that he was right about that.

He clambered out of the water onto the water's surface, and knelt, again using his chakra to stay afloat. He shook out his red hair, pelting me with a sprinkle of water droplets off his wet hair. It was unfair that he looked so good when he had that brilliant red hair of his dripping wet, dark crimson, and tousled. I looked away, determined to not acknowledge the thoughts running through my head. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to look away from him, because he took the opportunity to place his hand deceptively gently on my head before forcefully pushing me back down into the water.

I coughed and sputtered as I resurfaced, giving Gaara the stink eye through my wet bangs. He just smirked again. So naturally I had to give his ankle a good yank so that once again he found himself dropping through the water.

I laughed and quickly swam to a more shallow area, near the edge of the pond, so that Gaara couldn't dunk me again. As I was pulling myself out of the water onto the edge something grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me back into the water. As I re-breached the surface once again I turned to face Gaara and spat a mouthful of water at him. He looked mildly offended, but also a little amused.

We had a stare off for a minute, both of us waist deep in the oasis, until I began to chuckle. Gaara soon joined with a soft, nearly inaudible chuckle of his own. At that point we both got out of the water, completely cooled off now from the impromptu dip.

My skirt stuck to my legs in a very uncomfortable manner, so I took it off, not noticing the way Gaara's eyes widened as he watched. I hung the sopping material over a low palm tree.

We hung around for a while waiting for our clothes to dry and had lunch during the interim. There turned out to be some fruit in the trees so I smacked a few gently down with little gusts of wind, catching them before they could get all bruised and nasty on the ground.

After our clothes were dry we set off for the next location, the hot springs. As we headed in that direction the wind began to pick up, and I could feel something in it that made me nervous. Being so tuned in to the wind as I was, I could feel the shift and knew that a sandstorm was on the way.

"Gaara, I think there's a storm on the way. We should be able to find shelter up ahead at the next location. There are supposed to be caves."

Gaara tensed and nodded, both of us aware of the danger of storms in the desert. A sand storm was nothing to sneeze at and could easily get you killed. As we got closer to the designated area, even more problems appeared.

I walked right into a pit of quicksand.

"Well damn." I scowled, disgruntled, as my legs sunk into the ground up to my knees. Gaara quickly solidified some sand underneath himself, preventing the same predicament from happening to him. He padded over to me, making himself a sturdy sand bridge that hovered an inch over the somewhat soggy quicksand.

"Need some help?" He asked, a slight teasing lilt to his voice.

I gave him a sullen look, crossing my arms and doing a Gaara impression as the sand reached my hips. "Whatever would give you that idea Gaara? I mean, I love sand baths. I've gotten them from you enough to be quite comfortable."

He snorted. "My sand is dry." He pointed out monotonely, in that matter-of-fact way of his.

"True." I acknowledged, not particularly fond of the dampness that was up to my waist now. And then I sighed, "Alright. Yeah, I could use some help." I finally conceded.

His lips twitched. "All you had to do was ask…" He said pleasantly and flicked a few fingers in my direction, almost lazily. A rope of sand streamed out of his gourd and arched over to wrap around my chest, above the soggy sand, and then firmly pulled.

It was a bit of tug of war between his sand and the quicksand for a minute there, and I grimaced not enjoying the sensation of the tight band of sand constricting around my ribs. It also smooshed my boobs upwards unpleasantly, even despite the bandage wraps, as he firmly extricated me from the stubborn ground.

I finally popped out of the stupid puddle and hung suspended by the rope of sand. I took the opportunity to shake the excess soggy nonsense off my legs. "Yuck. I don't like quicksand. Not one little bit." I grumbled.

Gaara plopped me down on the sand next to him and we hovered the rest of the way, not wanting to waste any more time getting there when there was a sand storm on the way. We quickly reached the rocky outcroppings where Naru said we would find the last plant, tuberous amphora. I stepped off the sandy platform and said, "Alrighty, last plant. Tuberous amphora. Should be around here somewhere."

We hunted around, glancing at the little picture on the bag from time to time as we compared a few different plants. Finally we located the little, lush bulbous tubers and I snapped off a handful at the roots. "Oh. Ewwwwww. That's disgusting." I groaned as green slimy goo oozed out of the plant and onto my hand.

Gaara hurriedly held open the bag for me and I shoved them in, only needing another handful before it was full. Once done I shook my hand and then rubbed it on the rock, trying to get off the goop.

"Here, hold still." Gaara said, gripping my wrist and calling forth a tiny bit of sand. He swirled it over my hand, letting the sediment scour off the grossness and leaving my skin a tiny bit chafed and red, but clean.

I sighed, relieved. If there was one thing I really didn't like, it was goo. "Thanks Gaara. Once again your ability with sand has proved infinitely useful."

A tiny flush brightened his cheeks and he looked away, clearing his throat. I didn't hassle him about it, finding it too cute to really tease him at the moment.

And then we were interrupted by the sound of a dull howl, getting louder by the second. Our wide eyes met and we both said, "Shit!" at the exact same moment.

 **Author's Note:**

So, how did everyone like the combined chapter? Pretty nifty right?

A little bit of humor to lighten the mood, get ready, next one is a doozy and super fun. :3


	49. Burn With Me: Chapter 12 & 13 & 14

**Chapter 12**

I glanced around frantically, trying to locate some shelter, when I spotted a decent looking cave mouth a short distance from where we were standing. "Over there! Quick!" I gasped and we made a run for it, sand beginning to blow through the air and obscure our vision.

We only just made it in time before the full brunt of the storm hit, the dull howl becoming a much louder roar and sand rushed by the opening of the cave we had darted into. "Damn. That was close." I gasped, grabbing my knees and trying to calm down from the rush of adrenaline pumping through my body.

"Hm." Gaara responded, a little more emphatically than usual.

I sighed, standing up and taking in our surroundings. We were in a tiny little cave, and sand was beginning to get into it and swirl around, which was getting a little annoying. As I glanced around I noticed what looked like an opening at the back. I walked over, found a decent sized crack in the wall, and slid through, investigating to see if there was a better space further inside.

"Oh yeah, this is cool!" I exclaimed, finding a nice sized cave, a good thirty by thirty feet, with a smattering of hot spring pools, most of them very shallow, but two of them looked pretty deep, maybe four feet even. It was warmer in here and had that distinctly minerally smell. And there were lots of glow in the dark mosses and mushrooms scattered around, giving the place a luminous greenish, blueish, glow that was kind of otherworldly and super cool.

And even better, there were no creepy crawlies.

Gaara came sliding through, or attempted to at least. He got stuck midway through the crack because of his gourd. I glanced over, saw his predicament, and began to laugh. "Whoops." I chuckled.

He gave me a sour look and his gourd puffed into a rush of sand that swirled around his feet and then reassembled leaning against the wall of the cave, allowing him to easily slide through.

I sat down, grabbing one of my bags and hustling around for some food, pulling out a couple of the fruits I had scavenged from the oasis. I snacked on the small brown dates, spitting the seeds into my hand and tucking them into a cloth.

The sand storm showed no signs of letting up any time soon. We had been out on this mission for the whole day, and it didn't take long for the sun to begin to set, and the temperature within the caves began to drop dramatically. It was already cooler inside these caves than it was outside, even with the warm springs, and now that the cold desert night was setting in, it got very, very cold. We huddled next to the hots springs for warmth, which is how we passed several hours, shivering our butts off.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting more and more tempted to just get in one of these pools. What about you?" I muttered. I was leaning right over one of the pools for warmth, but despite the heat radiating from the hot springs, I was still shivering. It wasn't enough.

Even Gaara was shivering, though his expression remained stoic and impassive.

There were several separate pools, all rather close together. As my fingers went numb and my jaw and teeth got sore from clenching tight to keep my teeth from chattering, only to fail miserably, I simply hit my limit. "Oh fuck it, I'll take this one, you take that one." I growled, not even caring anymore.

Gaara's head jerked in my direction, his eyes widening comically. It was a shame I wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. I took off my boots, immediately cringing as my toes touched the freezing ground.

"…fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fucking hell, damn cold, cold, cold, gaahhhhh, shit…" I mumbled in a litany as I shed my armor and weapons, wishing that I had done that before taking my shoes off. Then I stepped into the hot water, not bothering to take off my clothes.

I heaved a great sigh and groaned as the hot water immediately felt amazing, even if my hands and feet felt like they were going to burn off from the temperature shift. I looked over to Gaara, who looked amusingly relieved, as if he had thought I was going to strip naked right in front of him.

The thought had crossed my mind. I despised the sensation of wet clothes, a sentiment that had only been cemented even more strongly into my mind from the earlier dip in the oasis. Plus, his expression of shock probably would have been worth it. However, it was simply much too cold for that sort of thing, and despite sometimes doing crazy shit, with the way I felt about Gaara I would be much too embarrassed and self-conscious to do something like that in front of him.

That wasn't to say that I wasn't planning on ditching them now that I was safely in the water, but I would wait until he was in his pool, that way there was no risk of him seeing anything important. I would simply stay close to this side of the pool so that the rocky side of the hot spring would block off his view.

Gaara hesitated beside his own pool of water, probably not too fond of the idea of getting wet twice in one day. I got the distinct impression that he didn't much like water outside of a controlled situation, like in his bathroom. Of course, with it being his only weakness when it came to his sand jutsu, it made sense why he didn't like it.

Eventually though, it seemed like he came to the same conclusion I did and he began to take off his weapons, learning from my mistake and going for his shoes last. I found myself unhealthily interested in watching him as he took off his white sash and then began to unbuckle the leather strips that were meant to hold up his gourd. He was taking his time, deliberately and methodically unbuckling each buckle and untucking all the little bits of leather, probably trying to postpone the inevitable.

My gaze was locked on his fingers as he deftly took off the various small bits of his attire, my mind making a much bigger deal of it all than it should. It wasn't as if he was going to get naked for heaven's sake, but it was new and fascinating. I had never watched him take off his equipment before. And if I had, then I must not have ever paid attention.

He caught me watching him and glanced over, his eyes doing that weird thing where they slid to the side to look at me out of the corner of his eye without moving the rest of his head. He paused and quirked a nonexistent eyebrow, and I immediately flushed tomato red and ducked my head down sinking lower in the water until the wall hid me from view. After a minute I heard him resume and I peeked over the edge of the pool, checking to see if he was still looking this way, which thankfully he wasn't.

I sat back up and fanned myself, still blushing but trying to play it off like the pool was simply hot. I looked back over when I heard the little splash that indicated he had stepped into his own pool. He hissed and I watched fascinated as his face made several very interesting expressions, different mixtures of pleasure and pain, the same thing I had experienced as my frozen appendages thawed with a burning sensation. Of course he couldn't use his sand armor to mask his expressions, so I got to enjoy the full range of motion his face was capable of as he grimaced.

Our two pools were separated by maybe three or four feet of floor space in between, plenty enough that I felt comfortable taking a few articles of clothing off while still feeling like he wouldn't be able to see anything. Not that it really mattered, since he had already seen me in just my bandages and pants before.

I scooted over to the wall closest to where we had set up a tiny little fire, hoping it would provide enough warmth without smoking up the cave, but it had been too small. Still, it would help in drying out our clothing, so I slipped my wet shirt over my head and spread it out as close to the fire as I could get it without having to get out of the warm water. My arms were immediately offended by the cold air and I quickly ducked back under the water up to my shoulders, shuddering.

I felt the weird prickly sensation on the back of my neck that indicated that Gaara was staring at me. I glanced over subtly, trying to determine if he was upset by my unannounced disrobing. He was definitely looking at me, and looked perhaps a little disturbed, and certainly very shocked, his eyes popped wide open and even his mouth open a little. That particular expression never ceased to both amuse me and make me tingly in some places that I purposefully ignored. Though he quickly schooled his features back into that calm mask of his, mostly appearing unruffled except for the slightly wider set of his eyes.

I snorted very quietly to myself. Ignoring him mostly, but aware that he was still staring at me.

Next, I bent and shimmied out of my skirt and pants, the whole process very awkward and difficult to accomplish due to the wet clingy fabric, especially underwater. Eventually I did manage to get them both off, then separated from each other, and finally laid out next to my shirt near the fire, and all without exposing myself to Gaara's shocked gaze. I sighed and sank into the water even further, much more comfortable now that that stupid cloth wasn't clinging uncomfortably to me.

 **Gaara POV**

He abruptly found himself uncomfortable, that damnably stiff body part of his making the wet clingy fabric of his pants even more discomfiting. He had been utterly shocked when he had noticed Ren taking off her shirt in the pool next to his. Then the shock had turned into something else, something that had him fighting to stay in his pool and not go over and join her in hers.

Not that he wasn't still shocked, there was still a good amount of that still clogging up his system.

He found that he couldn't take his eyes off her, even when he saw her glance his way bemusedly. His eyes were simply stuck, and even more so when he saw the way she was struggling under the water and he realized, with a shock to his system, that she was also taking off her pants. The wet material was lifted and then laid out next to the fire for his perusal, and yes, her pants and skirt were both off. He blinked, sucking in a sharp breath as he felt his dick throb in the absolute most irritating way possible, given the circumstances.

Apparently he had sucked in his breath a little too fast, because a little bit of saliva found itself lodged uncomfortably in his wind pipe and he choked, just a little, as he also quietly tried not to pass out from the abrupt blood loss in the one head, since it had switched to the other so quickly. He quickly schooled his expression though, forcing himself to assume a blank mask as he saw her head turn.

He wasn't really keen on Ren finding out how much he wanted her right now. He didn't want to scare her off again. With the way he felt right now…she probably _should_ be afraid.

 **Ren POV**

I could have sworn that I heard some strange, quiet choking noise come from the pool Gaara currently occupied, but when I looked over he seemed just fine and composed, not looking at me but not looking particularly disturbed or surprised anymore. I scooted along the wall, and eventually found a little place where there was a rocky ledge area that I could sit on and lean my back against the wall of the pool. The rock wasn't particularly comfortable, but at least it was relatively smooth.

After about an hour or so of silence, I was startled out of a light doze by the noise of quiet splashing in the pool next door, and I immediately looked over to make sure Gaara wasn't getting out of his pool. He better not be, because if he got out he'd be able to see into my pool, and that was unacceptable.

Thankfully, he wasn't getting up and out, but he was currently taking off his shirt, which caught my attention even more than if he _had_ been getting out of the pool. He was facing away from me, so I could watch without fear of discover as he pulled his shirt over his head, letting me see his bare shoulders and the very top of his back. His pale skin practically glowed in the faint light from the fire, and even more so from the eerie glow of the mushrooms and moss. I was shocked by the smooth unblemished skin on his back, only showing the pale tail-end of the thin, barely-there scar on his shoulder from fighting Seimei. It was a nearly impossible feat for a ninja to have so few scars, and it was so very different from my own scar riddled body, particularly my roughened back and shoulders.

I had two very intense reactions to his exposed body, the little that I could see of it. One, I was immediately shy, jealous, and embarrassed of the state of my own shredded skin, particularly the skin on my back, and I quickly sunk lower in the water till the tops of my shoulders wouldn't be visible. Two, I experienced a sharp ping low in my stomach and everything clenched as I felt a flush creep up my neck. When I glanced down I noticed that there was even a little bit of pink high on my chest and I scowled at my traitorous skin. My body was so rude, being all bossy and demanding and interrupting my train of thought.

Of course my train of thought was going down a rail line I had never bought a ticket to. In fact, it was one that was probably very bad for my sanity, a ticket strait to the loony bin. If my mind lingered too long on how smooth his skin looked, and how much I wanted to reach over and simply run a finger or two over his shoulders, or that strangely fascinating patch of skin right below the bump in his spin at the top of his shoulders, or the way his shoulders didn't look as pointy as when I had seen them under his mesh shirt. I would go insane.

It was shocking really, and I couldn't help but stare and absorb the small bit of him that I could see. I could see the muscles connecting his neck to his shoulders as graceful arches and then the little bumps that indicated the end of his collarbones. Before, when I had seen his upper body through his mesh shirt, his shoulders had been more strait across and angular, the bones a little more prominent. Now I could see that the muscle in his shoulders and arms were more curved, thicker from all the Taijutsu he had been practicing these past few months, making his shoulders appear a bit broader and less bony. He was still a very lean build, not bulky or bulbous. In terms of looks, I much preferred his build to some of the men I had seen shirtless on the training ground before, whose arms and torso looked too thick, cumbersome, and bulging with thick, veiny muscles. He was muscular while still appearing lean and graceful.

I quickly looked away as he turned to lay out his shirts near his side of the fire. I didn't want to look when I heard more splashing, but after a minute I glanced over and sure enough his pants were now lying next to the fire as well, and suddenly I felt as if the once pleasantly hot water was now scalding me from the inside out. I resolutely looked at the wall, ignoring my pounding heart and labored breathing as I focused on anything other than the fact that Gaara was mostly naked in the other pool.

 **Chapter 13**

In an attempt to distract myself and alleviate the tension I spoke up, "Hey Gaara? Have you ever heard of something called twenty questions?"

I waited for his response. After a good minute he lazily answered in that bored drawl of his, "No. What is it?"

He sounded at least somewhat intrigued, which was what I had hoped for. "It's sort of a game that people use sometimes to pass the time and get to know each other better. I can ask you twenty questions and you have to answer them honestly, and then you can ask me twenty questions and I have to answer them honestly."

There was a long pause and then he said somewhat hesitantly, "…okay..."

"So would you like to try?"

Another long pause. "I suppose so." Despite the hesitance behind his words there was also something that sounded suspiciously like eagerness.

"Okay then, how about I start. Hmmm….." I paused for a moment to think. "Ah, I know! Do you sometimes use your sand to mask your expression?" I waited eagerly for the answer, having wondered about it all day since the oasis incident.

There was yet another long pause. I got the sense that this was going to be a long game. After a minute or two he finally answered. "Yes."

"I knew it!" I said loudly and then laughed triumphantly. After a moment I sighed and said, "Alright it's your turn to ask me a question now. So what do you want to know?"

As expected it took him a minute to ask his question. "It seems that my sand armor bothers you. Why is that?"

I paused, thinking about how to answer that. It was a little personal, but not too embarrassing to admit to the answer. "I guess… it can be difficult to know what you're feeling or thinking at any given point because you tend to look very calm, almost like you have on a blank mask. That can be a bit unsettling. Also…" I paused, considering whether I should own up to the rest, but ultimately decided that it would be cheating if I didn't. "…I like it when you react to things, when you're unguarded and you smile or frown or look surprised. It's sort of … beautiful." I flushed realizing that maybe that wasn't the best word I could have picked. "Er…I mean it's fascinating."

"…hm." He sounded intrigued, his tone a little melodic and in his higher ranges that indicated interest, surprise, or calmness, as opposed to the deeper tones when he was angry.

I sighed realizing he wasn't going to say anything else. "Okay, well, I guess it's my turn. Let's see." I paused and while thinking I turned around and leaned my chin on my crossed arms on the floor of the cave, looking at Gaara's back. He must have heard the splishy-splash sounds because he turned his head and regarded me silently out of the corner of his eye. I looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Do you really not have eyebrows at all? Or do you shave them?" I knew the answer to that one but I kind of just wanted to see how he would react to the question.

He blinked multiple times, appearing to be astounded by the audacity of the question and thoroughly bemused. He frowned and his hand came up to trace a naked brow thoughtfully. He turned more towards me, looking over his shoulder at me fully, leaning his elbow on the floor next to him and pinned me with a, ' _What the hell? Are you serious_?' kind of incredulous look. I nearly burst out laughing.

"No. I do not shave my eyebrows." He said seriously, and rather firmly.

"Or wax?" I couldn't help but add innocently, watching with mild hysteria as said bald eyebrows shot up so far on his forehead that he got wrinkles, making the kanji on his forehead bunch up in a strange way, and then slammed back down into a deep frown.

"No! I simply do not have them!" He nearly shouted, almost beside himself. I giggled, muffling it in my arms. I looked up, only to have to bury my head again at his somewhat cockeyed _'What the fuck is WRONG with you?'_ expression written all over his face.

"I know, I know!" I snickered, reaching out one hand and lightly patting the ground in front of me as if I was patting him soothingly on the head. "I just wanted to see how you would react. Your turn."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head a little as he sighed exasperatedly, "Fine…" then looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, as I had done to him. His eyes scrolled up and down the little bit of me he could see over the rock pool wall. He paused somewhere around my armpit. "Why do you wear those bandages instead of a bra?"

My head popped up from my arms and I probably looked about as incredulous as he had when I had asked about his eyebrows. I seriously could not believe he had just asked me that with a straight face, not even having the decency to look even slightly embarrassed.

"It's quite simple Gaara, I find that this is better for keeping everything … stable." I said with an accompanying gesture with my hands as if I was pushing something _in_ with flat palms, unfolding and stretching my arms out on the floor in front of me. "You wouldn't understand, being a guy and all, but when this shit starts bouncing around, it really gets in the way of fighting. I have no idea how other girls do it with a bra. Especially your sister, I mean come on, how the hell she gets those things to stay put is beyond me. And have you seen the new Hokage? Holy shit!" I shook my head in confusion, really not understanding them at all. I also couldn't help but notice that while Gaara looked just as calm as before, he did seem a little pinker. "And of course since it's my turn, my next question has to be, how in the hell do you know what a bra is?" I squinted at him.

He blinked. "Temari sometimes leaves her laundry out in strange places. I asked. She told me."

I snickered. "I'll bet she also smacked you around the head for that one."

He just shrugged.

"Okay then. Your turn." I lay my head back on my folded arms, waiting to see if he could top the last one.

He looked off to the side for a moment, thinking. His eyebrows raised and he seemingly had some sort of realization before the tiniest smirk appeared at the corners of his lips and his eyes shifted back to look at me, once again doing his sneaky looking-at-me-out-of-the-corner-of-his-eye thing. "So … why didn't your chest plate fit properly on the last mission?"

I gasped, not expecting that one. Once again my head snapped up and I glared at him. That sneaky bastard. But really, had he only just figured that out? "Why you sneaky … you know good and well why it didn't fit." I glared and he stared back serenely. I heaved a sigh, "Fine, fine. It's because my breasts got bigger. It happens off and on without any freaking warning aside from some aches and pains. I'm hoping that was the last growth spirt because every time it happens, it means I have to go get that damn piece of leather adjusted. There, you happy now? Yes? Good. It's my turn now."

His lips twitched as if he was trying not to laugh at me, and he was even pinker than before. I pinned him with a glare. "Alright, how's this smart guy? You wearing any underwear right now?" I cocked an eyebrow, daring him to lie. Actually, I seriously hoped he was, because if he said no, I might just pass out. Perhaps that had been a stupid question.

His head and shoulders whipped around so fast I'm pretty sure I heard a pop, and he faced me fully, his arms crossing across his chest. "Of course I am." He nearly growled. Looking offended that I had doubted that, and certainly shocked. Then he tilted his head back, glaring down his nose challengingly at me. "Are you?"

Well I guess I should have expected that. I chuckled. "Of course I am. Stupid, don't get your undies in a bunch, since you're wearing them and all. What a gentleman." I snickered at his astounded expression. It was too much fun teasing him.

Of course then I got distracted by the view of his crossed arms over his bare chest. Yep, he had definitely gotten some more muscle. From the little I could see, which really wasn't all that much to be honest, he had gone from attractive enough that I had had to forcefully avert my gaze when he had been wearing that damn fishnet shirt, to now not being sure I _could_ avert my gaze, even if a pan randomly dropped from the ceiling to bean me on the head. The smooth unbroken line of pale skin that normally stopped at the red collar of his skirt continued down so I could see his collarbones and the very top of his chest. Actually, I had forgotten how much I liked to look at that dip at the base of his throat since he now practically wore turtlenecks.

I tried to think of a question to distract myself. "Doesn't your gourd get heavy? Carrying it around all the time like you do?" I glanced back up at his face to note how his eyes were watching me look at him with an expression that, on anyone else, might look a little smug. He looked a little bewildered as well.

He blinked and cocked his head to the side and then sort of shrugged. "Not really. I'm sort of used to it."

"Makes sense." I hummed, putting my forehead down onto my arms to try and regain some sanity, and waved a hand in the air for him to ask his question.

"…hm…" I heard his Gaara sound as he thought about what to ask. After a moment he asked, "How about you? Have you ever hurt yourself with your shuriken straps? Or your swords?"

"Yep. Plenty." I mumbled into my arms. I lifted my head and stretched out my hands, palm up, to rest on the floor in front of me for him to observe. I used one hand to trace the pattern of little white scars smattered over the palm and wrist of the other. "See? These are all from accidently putting the strap on wrong, or grabbing it wrong, or taking it off wrong. I haven't done it in a while, but sometimes at night I still do it accidently if I'm really tired and just want them off." I huffed and glanced down into the water to see the little white scars on my thighs from similar issues. "And I have some on my thighs as well. From the same sort of thing."

"…hm." He said. And glanced away, looking a little uncomfortable, maybe from my mentioning my thighs or something.

I sighed and looked over at him again, doing my best to keep my eyes above his neck. As I looked into his coal rimmed eyes I thought about another question that might bring about an amusing response. I grinned and saw the way Gaara's eyes narrowed in expectation, knowing I was about to spout off at the mouth again.

"Alright. Here's one. Are the dark rings around your eyes really just from sleep deprivation or do you enhance them with eyeliner?"

I snickered evilly as first his eyes widened a little and then narrowed again in slight irritation. "No. I do not use any sort of makeup." He growled, his voice rumbling, all cranky and put out by the suggestion, as he gave me that look that said I was a dumbass.

I laughed. "Are you sure? No eyeshadow or anything at all?"

He growled, thoroughly ticked off with me now. He put his hands on the side of his pool and leaned forward aggressively, his shoulders flexing in the most distracting way possible and I nearly forgot what I had just asked him.

"Yes. No. And No. Anything else?" He growled, squinting his said dark eyes with a frightful glare that only made me giggle as I remembered what it was we were talking about.

I sighed theatrically and shrugged. "Okay. If you say so."

He huffed and did one of the few face palms I had ever seen him do, scrubbing his hand down his face a little and glaring at me between his fingers. "Alright, here's my question then. Do you enjoy asking me these sorts of things just to get a reaction out of me?" He grumbled, his voice slightly muffled behind his palm.

I thought about how to answer that one for a second. "Yes." I said simply, grinning and shrugging again.

He sighed. "Figured." He mumbled and closed his eyes in aggravation.

I chuckled again, and leaned my chin back on my arms, still doing my best to look at his face, and nothing else. "So…let's see. What else can I ask you? That's not my question by the way." He slit one eye open to give me a ' _no shit_ ' look. "Okay. Hm. Man it's kinda tough to come up with questions like this."

I sighed, tilting my head to the side a little. He hummed and relaxed a little, leaning one elbow on the edge of his pool and watching me.

I sighed. "Okay, let's just go simple. What's your favorite color?" I asked sheepishly, knowing it was kind of a dumb question but having nothing better at the moment.

He quirked a non-brow in bemusement and a tiny smirk curled his lips, obviously unimpressed with my choice. "Purple," he said promptly and then looked rather surprised. "No…black. Or maybe red." He looked a little confused and squinted.

I snorted. "Okaaaaay. Purple it is. You're just full of surprises Gaara." He sent me a baleful look.

"What's yours then?" He grumbled, looking a little discombobulated.

"My favorite color?" That was easy. "Red. Or pale green. Maybe pale blue." I shrugged, hoping he didn't make the obvious connection.

He gave me a curious look that said maybe he did, but thankfully didn't press the issue.

"Alright. So now what?" I groaned, having to think, and finding that I was starting to get tired. "Oh hey. How about this. Do you ever get sleepy?"

"Yes." He responded strait forwardly.

"Ah. Well, I'll wait for my next turn to ask the next question." I said, yawning.

"Do you always talk in your sleep?" He asked after a moment's thought.

I flushed. "When have I…? Oh wait, not my turn. I don't really know if I always talk in my sleep. I think I'm usually pretty active, but I don't know for sure about the talking thing. But probably." I flushed. "Uh. When exactly did you hear me talking in my sleep?"

"Is that your next question?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I heard you talking in your sleep on the last mission we took together…before…that incident."

"Oh. Right. Yeah I did sleep with you in the room. Er. I didn't say anything embarrassing I hope." I mumbled, flushing a little.

He quirked a non-brow. "Then my question will be, what are you worried that you might have said that would be embarrassing?"

I groaned, wishing he hadn't asked that question. _Great. How to answer this one?_ "Well…From the little I can remember I had a bunch of very strange dreams, and you were in some of them, so I guess I would think it was embarrassing if I had…I don't know, said something stupid about you or something." That was vague but still answered the question. "So what did I say?" I quickly asked, trying to escape with my answer.

"Mostly just my name." He shrugged.

I flushed. "…oh…" I mumbled. _Great._

"Do you dream about me a lot?" He asked curiously.

"…yes." I mumbled, not ecstatic about that question either. "Do you ever dream at all?" I asked my question.

He thought about it for a second. "Rarely. I don't sleep very much, so it's rare for me to have the opportunity to dream."

"Huh."

"How often do you dream about me?" He pressed further, sounding thoroughly curious. He was like a dog with a bone when he got curious. He just couldn't put it down until he was satisfied.

I sighed heavily. "Well. I see you so often in real life that it translates over to my dreams, so probably almost every night." I tried to make some sort of excuse, but still, having to admit that I dreamt about him practically every night was a little embarrassing.

He blinked, surprised.

"So what do you do? If you can't sleep?"

"I sort of meditate. It lets me rest, but not lose enough control for Shukaku to get loose."

"Ah. Makes sense."

"Hm." He did his Gaara noise again and then his eyes ghosted over me, obviously trying to figure out what to ask next. He got a somewhat sardonic look on his face and I tensed, knowing I was in for a doozy. "Do you find it easy to be around everyone partially clothed? Or is it just when you're around me?" he asked, his voice almost lazy in that way of his that meant he knew he was saying something that would tick me off, and he just didn't care.

I gasped, "What the…?! What do you mean by that exactly?!"

He smirked, just a little. "It's my turn to ask a question, not yours."

"Why you…! Gah!" I threw up my hands in the air, coming away from the wall and crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't even care if he could see my bandages. He had seen them before. I glared at him as he gave me a lazy once over and his smirk increased just a tad, his eyes coming back up and glittering in a ' _see what I mean_ ' sort of way. I looked down, noting my lack of attire, and could sort of see his point.

I finally sighed, gave him a doleful look and said huffily. "As a matter of fact, no. I am very uncomfortable with people seeing me undressed generally. For obvious reasons."

"So then it's just me?"

"That's two questions."

"True."

Then it was my turn to smirk. "Does me being partially clothed make _you_ uncomfortable?" I inquired sweetly, actually quite curious now.

He flushed just a tad and gave me a pointed look, close to a glare. "…somewhat." He rumbled, and then shrugged, looking away.

"Huh. You do a pretty good job of hiding it." I said, actually a little surprised. "Of course now that I think about it, that would explain the odd choking noises I've heard you make occasionally."

His eyes darted back to mine. "I do not!" He declared, seemingly indignant.

"You so do!" I exclaimed happily. "Like before, when I was the first to get out of the stupid soggy clothes! I could have sworn I heard you make some sort of weird sound!"

He flushed and just did his typical Gaara grunt, looking away and saying nothing. I snickered. "Okay. Your turn."

He looked back at me, his eyes glittering slightly evilly and I knew he was going to get me back for teasing him. "I will pose the question again. Is it just me you're comfortable with being partially clothed around?"

I flushed and glowered at him. This was turning into a surprisingly competitive game. I hesitated, finding that one more difficult to answer. "In some ways…yes." I glanced away. "I mean you've seen all my scars before, and you know their history, so it's a little …easier." I grimaced. And then flushed, figuring I had better be fully honest, as much as possible. Since that was the game after all. "And then…no. You are a guy after all. And so there is a little … embarrassment, from that."

"I see." He murmured. I glanced over, his voice sounding weird. He looked very strange, as if he was caught between feeling something like empathy and something like smugness. I just rolled my eyes.

Then it was my turn and I glanced over, my eyes unwillingly skating over his form again. This time around, my gaze was drawn to a strange, pale star shaped scar on the left side of his chest, high up near the shoulder. He didn't have any scars, aside from the other one actually on his shoulder, but that one was quite pale, thin, and not very noticeable, so this one stood out.

"Speaking of, how did you get that scar again?"

He blinked and looked down, "Oh." Then looked back up and met my eyes. "Sasuke." He said simply and shrugged.

I thought about it. "Oh! You mean that time at the Chunin exams? Really? It left that big of a scar? Damn, you really were hurt bad. How did you manage to fight like you did after that? And why in the hell wouldn't you let me give you medicine if he poked a hole big enough to leave a scar that size on your chest?" I was offended.

"I thought it was my turn to ask questions." He said calmly with cocked head.

I sighed and waved him on.

"Very well. Since we're on the topic, is that the scar from Seimei's blue sword?" He pointed to my shoulder and I craned my neck to see the strange scar that roped nearly over the juncture of my shoulder and neck. I didn't blame him for asking, he had treated it when it was still fresh and all crusty, but he hadn't seen it since. It had healed into a strange pattern, the sections of the sword making this long snaky scar that ran from my right shoulder down to my left ribs that looked almost like the sections of a centipede or a bamboo stalk.

"Hm? Oh this thing? Yeah, that's what made it all right. What a bastard. Oh! That reminds me, for my next question …" I paused for dramatic effect. "Do you remember what you did to my hand while it was stuck in that metal cage with you?" I wanted to see if he remembered that he licked my hand while partially Shukaku.

He blinked and then squinted, trying to remember. "You punched through the top … and that was after you had been injured?" It appeared as if he was having difficulty remembering exactly how the battle went. Perhaps he had begun to turn into Shukaku as soon as that guy had started to siphon chakra. He gave me an unreadable look.

"So I guess you don't remember huh?"

He squinted again, once again trying to remember. "…did I…? No … impossible. I don't remember." It seemed like maybe he did a little, but thought he wasn't remembering correctly. "What did I do?"

"Is that your question?"

"Yes."

I chuckled. "Well, Gaara, I do believe you licked my hand." His eyes popped wide open, and then squinted, and then popped open again in shock.

"I did what?!" He nearly yelped, his face going from utter shock to embarrassment.

I laughed out loud at his reaction, his bright red face more than I could have hoped for. "Oh wow … hahaha …. Yeah, well actually I'm pretty sure that it was Shukaku that licked me because your tongue felt awfully rough, sort of like a cat's tongue. And I was dripping blood down into the cage so it kinda makes sense I guess …" I mused thinking back and totally ignoring his appalled, somewhat disgusted, and yet still fascinated expression. "Unless…you're secretly a vampire!" I pinned him with a mock serious glare.

He managed to snort through his shock and embarrassment.

"Yeah I thought not…" I sighed, "Actually under the circumstances I guess I should be glad that you didn't bite me or something. I mean, if it really was Shukaku that licked me, I'm sort of shocked that he didn't respond a little more violently to someone punching a hole in his cage and dripping blood on top of his head. I would have thought he would have bitten my hand off or something. At the time, I was a little worried about that when you growled and I felt your breath on my hand."

Gaara just made some sort of odd choking noise deep in his throat. I laughed at his disturbed expression. "Okay, so here's my question. Well technically it's a two part question, so I guess it's cheating, but I don't really expect an answer for the first one. So I'm gonna go ahead and ask both. Does Shukaku have anything to say for himself?" I shot him a jokingly stern glare, "And is your tongue normally rough like a cat's?"

To my shock and some terror, Gaara immediately responded to my question, a little more intensely than I would have expected.

 **Chapter 14 (Three chapters for you today! Isn't that cool?!)**

"So, does Shukaku have anything to say for himself?" I shot him a jokingly stern glare, "And is your tongue normally rough like a cat's?"

To my shock and some terror, Gaara immediately responded to my question, a little more intensely than I would have expected, by gripping his head and mumbling something under his breath. He shouted once, one loud short burst of sound that had me jerking back in shock, not really sure what the hell was going on. Was he having a seizure or something?

Suddenly a rumble filled the cave, the menacing sound deep and dark.

"Oh shit…you have got to be kidding me…" I whispered, backing up in the water, not caring if he saw my breast bindings, he had seen them before anyways.

His tightly closed eyes snapped open and stared up at me from beneath his still lowered brow, his hands, still buried in his hair, lowered slowly.

I backed up some more, "Holy fuuuuuuuuuck….ah heh … um … well damn … hi there Shukaku…" I said nervously.

His eyes were both black, the golden centers glowing hotly and a broad toothy grin spread across his lips, exposing the suddenly wickedly sharp teeth. There were those blue, spirally sealing marks that curled up from above and below his eyes, one crossing over Gaara's red kanji. I had never seen this particular possession before, and certainly didn't know how to deal with Shukaku, even if he was still mostly in Gaara's form.

"Hi there yourself … you called, I answered sweetie." Came the demon's voice from Gaara's throat. I had only heard it once before, when Gaara had used the Play Possum Jutsu during his battle with Naruto. It was that same mocking tone that he had used then, when he had yelled "YEEEEAAAAAAAH! Let's DO this! I hope you're ready to DIE."

The strange voice, higher pitched than Gaara's, and lacking that raspy tone, was different this time, still mocking, still terrifying, still evil, but silkier.

"Oh … goody …" I whispered weakly, not entirely sure what I had done to deserve special treatment from Mister Tanuki himself.

He chuckled, that distinctly animal growl coming through. "Well aren't you feisty … I like that …" His grin got wider and his tongue poked out a little to lick the tip of a pointy fang. "So…why'd I lick you? Well, that's because your blood smelled really…" he paused for affect and then his grin got impossibly wider and he inhaled deeply in a creepy sort of way, "…delicious…" he finished, the word coming out so deeply in his chest that it growled, and not in a human kind of way. He continued, "… I couldn't resist taking a little taste now could I?" And then he laughed, his eyes gleaming, "And if you want that rough tongue again, you're gonna have to ask for my services, because my little host here just has a regular old human tongue."

I wasn't sure if I liked that look he was giving me, something between hunger and some other things I didn't want to identify. It looked out of place on Gaara's face, but still strangely affected me in ways I refused to admit, particularly under the circumstances. I could feel myself getting…damp… which felt weird, since I was already underwater.

Shukaku's grin broadened and he took one deep sniff of the air, and I certainly wasn't going to acknowledge that suggestive look he got in his eye. There was no way he could smell anything like … well … that … especially since I was currently in a hot tub. He was just being weird.

I swallowed hard. "Um, well, thanks? Was there anything else that you wanted? Or…uh, was that it?"

He licked his lips, and yes, his tongue did look a little longer and rougher. "Do I want anything else? Is that an offer? Or are you just playing dumb?"

"Er…" Thankfully I was spared having to respond to _that_ one by Shukaku groaning and rolling his eyes.

"Oh for crying out loud! Don't I ever get to play?!" He whined, and then grunted as his hand came up again to grip his head.

After a moment he gasped and stood there panting, gripping his head roughly between his palms. "Um, Gaara?" I asked tentatively and experienced immense relief as his normal green eyes looked up and met mine.

"What…happened?" he wheezed, his breathing labored.

"Um…I'm not really sure…" I hesitated, not really sure I wanted to tell him everything that had happened if he didn't remember it.

"If felt like Shukaku suddenly took over…did he hurt you or…anything?" Gaara panted, his eyes a little wild as he raked me with his gaze from top to bottom, looking for injuries. And then his eyes widened a little and he swallowed thickly.

I blinked, surprised by his mercurial mood shift and then I glanced down, remembering that while Shukaku had come out to play I had backed up in the water, and now I was far enough away from the pool's edge that he could most likely see all of my torso, and probably even some of my panty line, which was pretty damn low on my hips. Thankfully I was still wearing my bandages, so it wasn't necessarily anything he hadn't seen before, unless he could actually see some of my underwear, and even that wasn't a huge deal. But still, I felt very embarrassed, particularly since I was still shaken up from Shukaku's random appearance. I yelped and quickly scooted back to the edge of the pool.

I decided to ignore what had just happened and answer his question instead. "No, no, nothing … happened." I hesitated a little, remembering what all the creep had implied and suggested, and felt like I should be much more disturbed than I actually was.

I suppose it was because, in the end, I couldn't help but feel like Shukaku was a part of Gaara, a very _**dark**_ part, at least while Gaara was currently his host. I mean, I knew he was evil, but somehow the idea that maybe he was interested in me like… _that_ didn't creep me out, so much as it flattered me in a strange way. I suppose it just went to show how unhealthy this vulnerability of mine was when it came to Gaara.

Even so, I may not be creeped out as much as I should be by Shukaku's advances, but it was still a little disturbing. And I knew Gaara wouldn't like it one little bit.

Gaara must have noticed my hesitation because he leaned forwards, pressing against the wall of his pool and giving me a steely eyed glare, "What did he do? Tell me!" He growled, being very bossy and demanding all of a sudden.

I was pretty sure I didn't want to relate the whole conversation, it was actually quite embarrassing to think about to be honest. Particularly the idea that Shukaku might have somehow picked up on the fact that his advances, as strange and aggressive as they were, had affected me in a very particular manner. I didn't want Gaara to ever find out about that, it almost felt like a betrayal. _What in the hell was wrong with me anyway? Reacting to a demon like that?_

"Nothing happened. I swear. He just sort of popped in and popped out, probably just some weird glitch."

He obviously didn't believe me, as his eyes narrowed even further. "He said something to you."

"What would make you think that?"

"You didn't deny it."

"I mean … why would you be so sure that he said anything at all?"

"He's laughing."

"Oh. Really? How rude." I huffed, put off a little by the damn raccoon-dog's lack of manners. "Is he normally this active? I mean, does he talk to you all the time?" I was curious, never really having thought about it.

Gaara paused, thinking, his eyes turning calculating. "Are we still playing the game?"

I was taken aback, not really having thought about it. "Um…I guess?"

"Then it's my turn, my question. What exactly did he say to you?"

I sighed. "Well shit. I guess you got me there. He answered the question, he said that my blood had smelled … good I guess, and that he had wanted to taste it."

"And that's it?" He rumbled, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Uh-well…" I looked up to the ceiling, skirting around the issue.

"You're cheating…"He growled, giving me the hairy eye ball.

I huffed, throwing my hands in the air in exasperation. _Fine! You want it? You got it Gaara!_ "Oh for crying out loud! Fine! You want to know what Raccoon Boy had to say? He said that his tongue was rough and yours wasn't and that if I wanted… _that,_ again, then I would have to ask for his _services_. And then I asked if that was that all, or did he want something else. To which he inquired, rather rudely, whether I was _offerin_ g, or if I was just stupid." I crossed my arms and glared at him, feeling my face burn.

He blinked multiple times, looking shocked, embarrassed, angry, and some other things. "That bastard," he muttered darkly, obviously displeased with his inner malevolent spirit's misbehavior. I blinked, never really hearing Gaara cuss all that much before.

"So, is he still laughing?" I asked, curious now.

"Yes." He responded simply, his eyes sliding away from mine and scowling at the wall.

"Oh wait! That wasn't my question. My question was whether he talks to you a lot in your head." I quickly rephrased.

"Sometimes. It used to happen all the time, but not so much lately. I don't know what's got him so riled up right now." His scowl deepened.

"That must be strange, having someone talking to you in your head." I noted mildly.

"Yes." He hissed, glaring at nothing in particular, and I got the sense that he was in the midst of an internal argument.

And that's where our conversation ended, both of us so caught up in our thoughts that we didn't have much to say after that.

 **Author's Note:**

Woohoo! Super long combined chapter! Yay!

I hope everyone enjoyed the twenty questions game as much as I did writing it, I was laughing the entire time. A little Tanuki fun too. :3 Gotta love Shukaku, he's such a bad boy.


	50. Burn With Me: Chapter 15

I sighed, contemplating the past few weeks.

After that mission with the herbs, a couple of weeks ago, Gaara had seemed to avoid me, which hurt more than I wanted to admit. I now knew how he had felt when I had avoided him after he had almost kissed me, sort of pissed off, hurt, confused, and just kind of … out of it. I could only think that it was because of me that Shukaku had come out, and that that had upset Gaara, which I didn't really blame him for.

Of course the awkwardness of the next morning might have something to do with it too. I hadn't thought everything through, and when it came to getting out of the pools and putting our clothes back on, I realized that we couldn't do it the same way we had taken them off, unless we wanted them to get wet again.

He had gone first, and I had turned my back to give him some privacy, though I hadn't turned quite quickly enough, because I had caught a glimpse of him as he pulled himself out of the pool, dripping wet, pale, all muscle, and from the brief impression I had gotten, hot enough that looking directly at him would give me a sunburn. I suspected seeing him fully nude would have made my cheeks permanently red for days afterwards. Even now, just thinking about it had me turning red.

He had politely and quietly left, giving me privacy to do the same. I couldn't help but wonder if he had snuck a peek from around the wall as I repeated the actions, pulling myself from the pool, wet and mostly naked, before scrambling to put my clothes on as fast as possible. But he probably hadn't, after all, why would he? He wasn't interested in me, in the way I was with him.

The trip back had been tedious, but smoother, and we had gotten home much faster than it had taken us to get to the hot springs.

And then, once past the outer wall, he had disappeared into the village, and the past few weeks he had successfully avoided me.

It sucked.

But life went on. I received a new mission, and left to complete it. It was a longer mission this time; I was supposed to be the transit carrier for some super-important top-secret scrolls, and I was guarded, of course, by my twin team mates and now brothers. We would take one from the Suna council to the Village Hidden in the Mist.

We set off, running most of the way, my brothers huffing and puffing ridiculously, and unnecessarily next to me, obviously doing it on purpose to cheer me up. Naturally they knew I was in a funk, and spent the entire journey performing all sorts of antics to thoroughly distract me and try to draw me out of my depression. Their nonsense ranged from playing catch with random balls of moss off the trees as we ran, doing all sorts of acrobatics to catch them, an activity which quickly devolved into pinging the soft fuzzy balls off the sides and back of my head. Naturally I would sputter, shout something and go after whoever had committed the crime, and in the end we were all laughing as I tried to catch them.

At night I would fall asleep, and be plagued with nightmares drawn forth by my anxiety about Gaara's sudden absence in my life. Even despite the wind barriers that I would put up, it always seemed that when I woke up tearful and shivering, at least one of the twins was awake and would snuggle me closer in our shared tent, breaching my firmly set physical boundaries and forcing me to accept the warmth and comfort they provided.

The first time it was Hikaru, and he had hooked an arm rather gruffly around my shoulders and dragged me closer, tucking me close so he could rest his chin on the top of my head, and I could feel his warmth through the soft padding of our respective sleeping rolls sandwiched between us. Unused to the brotherly love I had protested, pathetically since I was all tearful and trembling, which had only succeeded in rousing Kaoru, who ended my fussing by scooting up on the other side and snuggling close to my back.

He kissed the back of my head and gave me a gentle squeeze, whispering soothingly, "Shhhh. It's okay Ren. Just go back to sleep."

I sniffled and gave a big huff, hiccupping as I did so, which made both twins make identical little chuckles of affection and amusement. I sighed and relented, knowing there wasn't any way out of this one, and actually enjoying the comfort provided, even if it felt a little strange to me.

They never commented on it, never made a big deal about it, and I was very grateful to them for that. That was one thing about the twins, they may be loud, boisterous, annoying pests usually, but they always knew when my emotions were too sensitive to tease me about something.

The trip passed quickly this way and soon we had reached our destination.

Once there, we gave the scroll to the Mizukage, who gave us another top-secret scroll to take to the Village Hidden in the Stones. We gave that scroll to the Tsuchikage, who naturally gave us yet another scroll to take back to the Village Hidden in the Mist. The Mizukage gave us another fucking scroll and we finally brought it back to Suna. The whole ordeal took three weeks, with very few stops for rest and recovery. By the end of it we were all bone tired and sick of scrolls.

We finally returned to the village, happy to be home. We took the scroll to the council and gave our report then went to our respective homes. Once in my apartment, I ate, took a shower, and went to bed.

And had a very strange dream.

I hadn't slept enough on the last part of the mission, mostly taking catnaps where I could, whenever we were in a travel wagon or on a boat. After the first scroll was delivered, the rank on our mission shot through the roof and the next three deliveries were done in quick succession, with no resting to speak of. As ninja we were trained to go for long periods without rest, only subsisting on short hour-long naps whenever absolutely necessary. This had been one of those missions, so this was really the first time I had slept deeply enough to dream in about two weeks.

I was in some dark space.

I could see nothing, only velvety blackness, and that made me nervous. I could sense that someone else was in the room with me. Their breathing was audible, but I couldn't see them, and when I called out to ask if anyone was there, I couldn't hear my own voice, and I heard no response. The nervousness and tension bubbling inside me increased, and I remained standing stiffly in place, unsure if a step in any direction would send me plummeting off a cliff.

And then, I felt someone behind me, the warmth of another body, close enough to radiate but not touch. Their warm breath puffed on my neck and the strange sensation gave me chills. Hands gently touched my shoulders and then stroked my hair and neck, petting me almost like a cat, and I suddenly understood why cats liked to be petted. It felt good, soothing, and I relaxed into the comforting touch, the tensions easing inside of me. I didn't know the person's identity, but somehow they felt familiar.

Everything was sort of fuzzy, indistinct, as somehow I realized that perhaps I didn't have any clothes on. It was oddly difficult to tell. I turned to face the person behind me, curious, but not afraid.

And then the world tilted abruptly, and suddenly I was lying down, with the other person next to me, and we were curled into each other, both on our sides I guess. I had my arms wrapped around him and his arms were around me, and our legs tangled together.

And though it would have been uncomfortable really, certainly one of our arms would have gone to sleep from being trapped under the other person, it felt perfectly comfortable in the dream, made perfect sense, almost as if we were weightless. I pushed my face against his neck, and I knew it was a him because of the way he felt against me. There were no breasts against my own, and his body felt more angular, not at all feminine.

I pressed my lips to his neck and felt his pulse beating against me, absorbing his scent, a very distinct spicy, warm, sandy sort of scent. Like the desert with a spiced sunset, and of course this made perfect sense, because of course he would smell like a warm desert full of spices.

His hands stroked down my back, pulling me close against him, and I snuggled even further into his embrace, sighing with contentment. His body was incredibly warm against my own, the heat stronger than any body temperature should be without a fever. The body heat should have made me hot and sweaty and uncomfortable, but instead I sunk into it, almost drunk with the lovely burning warmth as I rubbed my face against his neck and shoulders, stroking him with my cheeks and lips and chin in sideways sweeping motions, simply luxuriating in the ability to do so.

The dream lasted only so long though, and I woke with my face pressed into a pillow, hugging it to myself.

I felt keen disappointment, still half asleep and unable to really grasp what had happened, only knowing that the person that I loved had just been here, only to vanish, disappear with a dream. I whimpered and hugged the pillow harder, trying to bring him back, to convince myself that he was still here with me. But there was no body heat besides my own, and I was left to my own devises as I sobbed a little, crying into my pillow, which naturally I would intentionally forget doing once the morning came around. But at the time I was feeling everything too much, allowing myself to feel everything that I wouldn't normally.

And so I cried.

I woke the next morning with a pounding headache, wondering what the hell happened to make my head hurt so badly and my eyes so crusty and dry.

I groaned as snippets started coalescing in my brain, painting the pictures from the dream. "Damn it all to hell and back …." I muttered, knowing that those images and feelings wouldn't be leaving me anytime soon. It was probably because I hadn't seen Gaara in so long that I had had such a really fucking vivid dream, just my subconscious trying to get its Gaara fix in any way it could. It felt like I was an addict without my chemical of choice.

I groaned and dragged myself out of bed, making myself breakfast and slumping at the table to eat half-heartedly.

The door flew open, exposing me in all my morning post-dream glory, puffy eyes, crazy hair, practically naked…and I snarled at whoever had the audacity to disturb me. Naturally it was Temari, who pranced in as though this was perfectly normal behavior. Societally speaking, no. For her, Yes. Unfortunately.

"What the hell?" I growled, my voice still raspy from the night. I glared at her, daring her to tell me just what in the hell she thought she was doing.

"Well aren't you just little Miss Sunshine." She snipped at me, closing the door and joining at the table.

I heaved a sigh and thumped my head on the table, which unfortunately, I forgot had my breakfast on it currently, so I unintentionally did a face-plant into my cereal bowl. That woke me up fast, as I jerked back, sputtering and dripping milk, with a few random cereal bits dangling in my eyes, stuck in my bangs.

I stared wide eyed at Temari, who stared back, just as shocked. Neither of us were entirely sure what had just transpired. Then Temari busted out laughing, while I simply sat, still really out of it. Eventually, I started laughing too, unable to help myself at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Well, I guess I'm going to go take a shower now, be right back." I hustled off, eager to get the milk out of my hair before it started smelling strange. I felt better after taking a shower, deciding to put the dream out of my mind.

I walked back out into the living room, wearing just a t-shirt and my underwear, not particularly concerned about Temari seeing me in a state of undress, especially since the t-shirt was large, baggy, and covered my butt.

Of course, naturally my life was full of surprises, and when I rejoined her in the kitchen, I was greeted by not only her spiky blond head, but also the purple face paint of a certain puppeteer that I was not as comfortable being around in my current outfit. But to be perfectly honest, I kind of didn't give a shit, although I was a little ticked off by him barging in without knocking or asking permission. I already expected that from Temari and the twins, I didn't need another overly informal 'houseguest.'

I crossed my arms, cocked my hips, and squinted one eye, giving him a good stare as I tried to determine what to do about my new infestation. "Kankuro, what do you want? And for that matter, what do _you_ want Temari?"

Temari just huffed a laugh, not put off in the least by my rudeness, used to it by now and expecting it this early in the morning. Kankuro on the other hand looked taken aback. Although I suppose that was more due to what I was wearing, or the lack thereof.

"W-what the…ahem…eh…uh hi there Ren." It wasn't like Kankuro to be timid, even having asked if my boobs had gotten bigger at one point in the past, so his stuttering amused me greatly.

"What's wrong with you makeup boy? You got a hangover or something?" I asked laughing, watching as his expression melted from shock to a sturdy scowl, never fond of me calling his face-paint makeup.

"It's not…!" He started loudly.

"Yeah, yeah I know. We've talked about it before." I waved my hand through the air, ignoring his sputtering protests as Temari laughed, rocking back and forth in her chair. "But seriously guys, what's with the impromptu visit? Is there something wrong?"

They both sobered and I immediately knew something was up. "Actually … we've been summoned, the two of us and you to the office for a mission." Temari answered my question seriously.

"Oh, then why didn't you say something?" I asked crankily, walking over to my dresser drawers and grabbing some clothes, partially bending to pick up a pair of pants from the floor, aware of my shirt creeping up the backs of my thighs a little. "Stop staring at my ass Kankuro." I said loudly, making an educated guess, which was confirmed when I heard his elbow collide with something loudly, with a painful sounding bang, followed by his curses and Temari guffawing loudly.

I went in the bathroom to put on my bandage chest wrap and pants, only to realize that I had forgotten my shirt in the living area. I finished tucking in the edges of my chest wrap, and sighed, shrugging, feeling satisfactorily covered to go fetch a shirt in front of the two knuckle-heads that currently invaded my personal space. I was comfortable enough around them that this sort of thing didn't bother me.

So I trotted back out into the living space with my pants on but no shirt, only the tightly wrapped bandages that went from my armpits, completely covered my breasts, and ended about halfway down my ribs. I still muttered a few curses though, irritated at having to go this way and that way to get dressed, much preferring to do it all in one place.

Grumbling to myself, I found the lonely shirt still lying neglected on my bed and snatched it up, ignoring the odd choking noises that sounded like they originated from Kankuro, assuming that he was just being weird and perverted as usual.

"Holy shit ..." he muttered

"What?" I asked, cocking a brow and turning to put my hands on my hips, daring him to tell me I couldn't walk around in my own damn apartment half dressed. _I mean come on! They're the ones who barged in here without my permission; I can do anything I damn well want to!_

His face wasn't particularly what I would have expected though, looking more disturbed than anything. I frowned, confused by his reaction. "What the hell happened?" he asked, looking perturbed.

"Huh?" I asked, totally confused now.

"Your back! It's all messed up!" He said, gesturing with a big sweep of his hand, indicating my whole back.

"Kankuro!" Temari hissed, at least having some small shred of decorum. She had seen me completely naked before after all. She knew exactly how far down my back those scars went, how the skin had been shredded starting from my shoulders and then dispersed into small white scars all the way down, nearly to my behind. And she had never mentioned it. I'm sure she even saw that nasty scar on my hip when she had bandaged me, again never saying anything. But Kankuro was a whole 'nother level of stupid.

I gritted my teeth, not particularly inclined to go over it. "It's not something I talk about. It happened a long time ago." I say with finality. Indicating that he should shut up with my eyes.

Naturally he was a dumbass. "No seriously …. It's like you were attacked by an evil cheese grater or something. And then what the fuck is up with that huge-ass chain-link scar? I mean damn! I know getting scars is part of being a ninja, but that is seriously fucked up shit there."

I heaved a sigh, rolling my eyes.

Surprisingly I didn't have the impulse to immediately strangle him, which would normally be my reaction to such a stupid question and statement. The honest concern and empathy in his voice, even if he was saying stupid shit, actually prevented me from being all that angry. It was as if he was acting all big brotherly and protective, like he wanted to go out and smack someone for hurting me. He looked angry and sad, and it was actually a little endearing.

I decided then, to do something I would normally never do. "Actually a cheese grater is about right." Thinking about it I actually chuckled, the idea of an evil cheese grater growing on me, perhaps I would use that explanation on anyone I didn't want to actually explain it to. "That's a good one. I might have to use it as an explanation someday."

Kankuro scrunched his face up a little, confused. Even Temari looked shocked. I suppose she expected me to attempt to murder her brother.

I sighed, continuing, "But no, it wasn't a cheese grater. It was a shit ton of glass." I shrugged, sort of attempting to make it seem like no big deal.

"Glass!?" Temari interjected, appalled and apparently over her silence on the subject, now that I had said something.

"Yep." I nodded, shrugging a little again.

"What the … I mean how?!" Was Kankuro's garbled response.

I sighed. I had already started, might as well give them a little more to go off. "Look, this isn't really something I'm comfortable talking about okay? So this is a one-time thing and I'm not going to go into the details." They both nodded seriously. "And besides that, we have a mission apparently, so we've gotta make this fast. It happened when I was a kid. Long story short, I ended up on the wrong side of a group of bullies and eventually ended up in a very crappy alleyway, with lots of broken bottles, flat on my back getting the shit beat out of me. The beating wasn't the problem, it was all the glass on the ground. That's what you see there. And actually that's the first time I met your little brother. We were both five at the time." Both their eyes got super wide and their jaws unhinged.

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait! You knew Gaara when you were both FIVE?!" Kankuro yelled, sounding utterly shocked out of his mind.

Temari said something similar, but it got all mixed up with what Kankuro said.

I smiled a little nostalgically, remembering my childhood friend. It had been a while since I had thought of him like that, all wrapped up in my unrequited love problem. We had been so innocent, had had such a pure relationship. It almost made me hurt to remember it, almost jealous of my younger self. How ridiculous was it, to be jealous of yourself in the past?

I sighed. "Yeah, I knew him. I've known him for a long time."

"But…when he was _**five**_?! I mean even _we_ didn't really know him then! He was living with Uncle Yashamaru, away from the family because of his … emotional problems." Temari winced, obviously not liking to remember the way things used to be in their family.

Kankuro just nodded, agreeing with her. "Yeah until he … well … you know. And then he was living with us, but he was … well he wasn't really all there."

"This was before all that, several months before. He wasn't evil or anything, he was just … sad. Lonely. He just wanted someone to love him, someone to play with him and comfort him like any other child."

"Not with his sand…!" Kankuro started at the same time Temari said, "But what about Shukaku…!"

I interrupted, already knowing what they were going to say. "The sand wasn't under his control, I know that. But it only acted on his own feelings, his fears, his loneliness, his anger. It still does. And he was just a child! How in control of your emotions were you as a child Kankuro? Temari? Huh?! How many temper tantrums did you throw?"

They both fell silent.

"If, every time you got angry someone died, or got hurt, completely outside of your control, how would you feel? And then everyone feared him, and he had no one except his uncle, who turned out to be a dumbass." I growled, putting my hands on my hips aggressively.

I felt incredibly angry, and hurt, even knowing that they loved Gaara and accepted him now, it seemed as though they still remembered his childhood with a mix of fear and horror instead of understanding and sadness.

"He saved me! You wanted to know how I got these?!" I turned, showing my back again, tugging on one end of the wrappings around my chest to fully expose my back to them, holding the shirt I had been about to put on close to my breasts for modesties sake. I even pulled my pony tail out of the way and hooked a thumb in my pants, scooching them just low enough to see all of my back, but not any of my butt. They now had a full view of the ripped, torn, bumpy, disfigured mess that was my back.

It was something that I still had trouble looking at in a mirror.

Both of them hissed. Even though they had both seen it, they hadn't gotten the full unfettered view, and in good light. I got the feeling that the time Temari had seen it before; she had purposefully avoided looking at it too hard. That's what you typically do when there is something ugly on someone, you just let your eyes glide over it.

But now I was _forcing_ them to look. I reached over a shoulder to touch the roughest surface on the backs of my shoulders. "This skin right here? Someone knelt on my shoulders, grinding me into the ground so hard that the glass nearly went into my bones."

I heard various choking sounds.

I continued, "There was another guy on my front, the leader of the little group, and he was punching me, over and over. He broke several ribs and my whole body was a mess of bruises. I passed out, and then the next thing I knew there was this wave of sand, nearly damn suffocated me with its weight. But it slid off of me, dragging the guy who was kneeling on me off, as well as the dumbass that was beating the snot out of me."

I heard them inhale sharply. "What happened to them?" Kankuro inquired, his normally brash voice quivering just a little.

"They died." I said flatly.

After a long pause Temari spoke up. "Then what? Did Gaara just leave you there or…?"

"No. He didn't just leave me there. You know that sand that you were talking about? The sand that had just squashed my attackers like a couple of bugs?" I chuckled, looking at them over my shoulder, gauging their reactions. They both looked very curious, and a little afraid. "The first time I met Gaara I was _cradled_ in that sand. It held me as gently as if I were a baby bird or something."

I cupped one hand and looked down at my palm, almost imagining it, remembering the delicate touch, the way I had been so gently and carefully cradled. I could feel my eyes softening and a small smile appeared on my face, remembering it.

I looked back over my shoulder to see that once again their mouths were hanging open, and I simply smiled at them, no longer angry, soothed by the fond memory and allowing it to take me away from the anger.

I turned to them slightly, holding my cupped hand out a little for them to see. "Just like this, he held me, and then he tended to my wounds with some medicine he happened to have, and he used that dastardly sand again." I chuckled, just a little sarcastically, but gently teasing instead of angry this time.

I turned my back to them again and reach behind me to trace my fingers over the hundreds of tiny little star shaped wounds, indicating the thousands of shards of glass that had been embedded in my skin. "He used that evil sand to delicately pluck each and every little shard of glass that was imbedded into my flesh, getting every tiny piece, no matter how small, no matter how deep, spending probably hours doing so. There were thousands of shards. You can see for yourself. Imagine how many pieces of glass it would take for my skin to look like this. Imagine how long it took, how much time and effort, for your brother to painstakingly remove them all. And every time I flinched, he flinched. Every time I hissed in pain I could see him cringe. That is why I could _never_ see him as a monster. Because, quite simply he isn't one, and he never has been. A monster would never have done that for a skin and bones, bloody and bruised, dirty orphan that they didn't know. A monster would have left me to die in that alleyway, or killed me themselves."

I bent, and matter-of-factly picked up my bandages and rewrapped my chest, doing so deftly and quickly in a matter of seconds, and put on my shirt. Then I turned back to my avid audience, who still looked shell shocked. "In answer to your second question, about the other scar, the long ropy one with the sections? That was caused by that long blue sword thing that Seimei wielded as a tail, when we were trying to rescue Gaara."

"Wait … seriously? Damn. No wonder you stayed down when he whacked you off that metal dome thing." Kankuro whistled.

"Actually no, that was the second time he got me. I was actually able to mostly block that one. It simply sent me flying, and winded me pretty good. This scar was from the first time he smacked me with the damn thing, which was before you guys even got there."

Temari and Kankuro both looked shocked and confused. Temari piped up, her voice thoroughly bewildered. "Wait a minute. When we got there, you had punched a hole through the top of the dome and were trying to break it open. That wound looks like it could have been fatal, like it could have potentially broken your spine or something. I mean at the very least the blood loss would have been enormous."

I shrugged, "Thank god for Sakura. If she hadn't been there to stop the bleeding and patch me up a little after the battle, I probably would have died before I got to the hospital."

"But you didn't even go to her after the battle! She came to you, and then you ran off to check on Gaara after he collapsed! Then when you passed out, she checked on you again and that's when she seriously healed you! Why wouldn't you go straight to her if you knew it was that bad?" Temari protested, trying to understand my reasoning.

"Yeah, and how in the hell were you able to punch a hole through solid metal with your back practically sliced in half is what I want to know." Kankuro added.

I sighed, this conversation getting dangerously close to certain topics that were off limits. "I didn't really think about it, I just acted when I heard…Gaara. I'm sure you would have done the same thing. I didn't even really feel it. Well, okay, that's a lie, it hurt like hell, but I sort of…I don't know, tuned it out?" I shrugged, leaving it at that.

I turned away, grabbing my tool kits, slinging on my weapons belts and straps quickly and then went to the door. "Are we going to stand around here talking all day or are we going to report?" I said, efficiently ending the conversation, not meeting their searching gazes. I didn't want to get into it, my emotional problems were my own to deal with.

 **Author's Note:**

Just one big long chapter.

Man, talk about emotional! Temari and Kankuro just got a big dose of Ren-style attitude adjustment.

Get ready everyone, there' a big thing coming around the corner, it's the big thing that I've been waiting for, and why I've been holding off on Gaara and Ren getting together. But it's awesome!


	51. Burn With Me: Chapter 16 & 17

**Chapter 16**

The three of us left silently, making the journey to the office, only for Gaara to meet us outside of the building.

"You're late." He said, glaring at Kankuro and Temari.

I snorted. Of course Gaara would be going on the mission, naturally. After that dream of mine I wasn't sure whether to be thrilled, or embarrassed, so I settled for an awkward mixture of both.

"Sorry Gaara, we sort of got sidetracked." Kankuro said shrugging as if nothing special had occurred and I gave him a sideways look, impressed by how laid back he was after such an intense conversation. Even Temari wasn't making a big deal out of it. Thank heavens for their ninja acting skills.

"Hm." Gaara made his typical sound and began walking towards the gate, apparently having already received the directions. "This will be a large mission, with two squads. The twins will be joining us. They already left to get ready and said they would meet us at the gate."

I groaned, knowing them. "Um, guys, I'd better go get on their butts, otherwise we will never leave. I'll meet you there too." I ran off to go find my two teammates.

I hustled to their apartment, and made it there in a matter of minutes. I hopped in through the window that was always unlocked and strait into pandemonium. Immediately a silk shirt was draped over my head, flung from somewhere in the room, by one of my crazy brothers I assumed.

"Kaoru! I can't find the green one!" I heard Hikaru's loud complaint from under the garish material. I heaved a sigh and picked up one corner of the offending garment, dragging it off my head.

"Guys?" I said quietly, but immediately got their attention as I finished pulling the silk from my hair, the material causing the short strands to crackle and pop and stand to attention all over my head. "What are you doing?"

"Ren!" REN!" They both shouted at the same time and immediately tackled me, pulling me into a Hitachiin sandwich hug, wherein I was the middle of the sandwich. I groaned, and simply let them snuggle as they both smooshed me as hard as they could without actually crushing me. I had been unaware that, by agreeing to become a part of their family, I had essentially signed away all rights to my personal bubble.

"Come on guys, I just saw you yesterday. You're kind of squishing me." I wheezed, finding breathing a little difficult with all their enthusiasm pinned on me.

"Oh but who needs to breath?!" Hikaru announced joyfully as he playfully blew on my still staticky hair that was currently sticking to both of their faces. Served them right.

"Hey!" Kaoru protested as more of my hair ended up on his face when his twin puffed on it. Hikaru laughed at his new beard.

I sighed in defeat as an epic battle over my hair commenced above my head. I let them have their fun for a little while, knowing that they needed to get at least some of their energy out of their systems now, while there was still some privacy. I hadn't yet told the sand siblings about our new relationship, although I was sure they already knew from the crest always around my neck, but my twin's newfound silliness and touchiness would certainly come as a shock to the other team. I was anticipating quite a lot of teasing.

"Okay guys, come on, do you really want to keep _Gaara_ and his team waiting?" I asked, knowing that would kick them into high gear. Despite their fear having eased quite a bit, they were still a little nervous around Gaara, and I could use that to my benefit.

They both abruptly resumed their crazy chaotic packing. "Why'd you have to pick such an uptight guy as your boyfriend?" Hikaru hollered as he swept passed with an armful of who-knows-what.

"He's not my…" I started but Kaoru interrupted me.

"Yeah I mean way to choose the sourest, stick in the mud. What do you see in the guy anyway?"

"He's not a…" I tried again, but Hikaru interrupted.

"It's probably his good looks Kaoru, the dreamy coal rimmed eyes and fiery red hair."

"Guys!" I protested, loudly.

"Yeah, or his bad boy persona, you know girls go crazy over that sort of stuff." Kaoru continued where his twin left off.

"Oh come on…." I groaned, face palming.

"Ha! Yeah! Ever since he's become all nice and stuff, I've noticed quite a few girls have been talking about him at the clubs." Hikaru noted.

"Wait … who's been talking about…" I jerked at this new information, feeling strange anger bubble up in my chest at the thought.

"Oh yeah, that's right! Or maybe it's because he's so powerful. I mean he beat her in their last sparring match and that's impossible to do." Kaoru continued their previous conversation.

"If I'm such a bad ass then why are you trying so hard to piss me off?" I growled, finally getting to finish a sentence. They both blinked innocently at me with their big amber eyes. " _Seriously_ , you two knuckleheads get your asses in gear and finish packing or I'm going to drag you out of here without bags."

They laughed. "That's fine. We'll just buy clothes on the way." They chirped in sync.

"Okaaaay, then get all your GEAR packed. Forget the clothes and hurry up." When they didn't take me seriously I narrowed my gaze into dangerous slits, hitting my limit. "You asked for it." I growled.

I snapped forward, grabbing them both by their ears and dragging them to the bathroom. I let them go once there and tossed them both a bag. "Put your toiletries in there." When they started fussing with hair products and shit I snarled and grabbed both of their toothbrushes, their hairbrushes, shampoo, soap, and a few other necessities, already knowing where everything was from having to do this more times than I could count.

When it came to packing, they were _not_ fast, and if the mission required speed, I always took over and pulled their shit together.

"Here. Take these." I shoved the bags in their arms and then dragged them back out into the main room, by the scruffs of their necks this time, and quickly located their toolkits, again knowing where they kept all the important stuff. I filled them, and handed them off to my two obedient puppy dogs. They knew that when I was in this mood, they'd better turn into puppies or kittens, and simply do as I say. Or bad things would happen. I had been known to crack their heads together on more than one occasion.

After gathering everything together I pushed them both out the door and locked it, using my spare key that they had given me. Probably for this purpose. Despite their fussing and protesting, I knew that they actually appreciated my interventions sometimes. They both had obsessive problems and some anxiety, so they were actually incapable of making fast decisions when it came to these sorts of things, and my taking charge actually helped them immensely.

As I started speed walking towards the gate, one twin lingered behind, "Oh wait I forgot …"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did … it was on…"

"The dresser behind the mirror. I know where you keep your meds Hikaru. Don't worry. Third inner pocket on the right of your bag." I soothed, expecting him to need his anxiety medication.

He was the more exuberant of the two, but he was also the most mood-swingy. And occasionally he had panic attacks, so he never left without his emergency medication. I always made sure that he had it, and even usually carried a few spare with me, just to make sure. I took care of my boys, even if I did it roughly sometimes. I loved the damn knuckleheads after all. It had taken a while for me to let myself care about them as much as I wanted to, but after they truly showed me how much they cared for and trusted me, to actually make me a member of their own family, I let them in. They truly were my brothers now, and I loved them as such.

Even if occasionally I wanted to strangle them with their silk shirts.

We eventually made it to the meet-up point, where the other team was waiting impatiently. "Damn what took you guys so long?!" Kankuro immediately hassled.

"Keep your pants on Kankuro. I just had to get these two packed." I jerked my thumb back at the two puppies still meekly following me.

Temari raised an eyebrow, noting their passive demeanor. She had had a few encounters with them before, and knew how hyper they usually were. "Um … what did you do to them? It looks like you broke them."

"Oh don't worry, they're fine. They just needed a little assistance is all." I ignored their offended looks and the way Kankuro snickered behind his hand. I gave him the stink eye, shutting him up real quick. No one laughed at my twins.

"Alright, so now that we're all here, what's the mission?" I turned to Gaara, since he had received the instructions.

"We will all go to a small village, several days east from here. There have been disturbing reports of Shinobi going missing, all with wind-type chakra. That's why we have both Temari and Ren, who are both very powerful wind-type chakra users. You two will act as lures, while the rest of us are the trap. First, we need to gather information about the kidnappers. If it appears that we are outnumbered or at a strategic disadvantage, our orders are to retreat and report to the council, who will either send another squad as back-up, or give us other orders. This is a reconnaissance mission first, capture second."

We all nodded, though it was obvious none of us were happy about Temari and I being used as lures. This whole scenario was _**way**_ too similar to the mission where I had been the bait, and that hadn't turned out so well for me. In fact, I was getting a really bad feeling about this one, all my instincts saying 'OH HELL NO.'

The lure ploy was one that, as far as I was concerned, almost never ended well. I couldn't help but wonder if this was some sort of grand plot to eliminate all the threats from the village by the village elders in one go. In other words, Gaara and the people who would obviously stand behind him, which would be his siblings and me, and my team would stand behind me. I met Temari's eyes, both of us probably thinking similar thoughts. I could see she was worried too.

This was bad. Very, very bad. We couldn't ignore direct orders, but I really wished we could. We all set out at a run. As shinobi, there was nothing we could do about our suspicions. We were duty-bound to follow orders.

After a day of running we pitched camp. We were still in the desert, so we pitched a large desert-style caravan tent, the most convenient accommodations for this sort of mission. It was mostly tight enough that it was difficult for the sand to get in, and Gaara fortified it further with a layer of his sand shield, which would double to keep our body heat inside the tent, to ward off the freezing desert night.

It was drastically different from the last time the six of us went on a mission together, which had been during the whole Chunin Exam debacle. All of us were more mature, and certainly lacked that particular brand of murderous animosity that Gaara used to possess, which made everything much nicer. It was much more convenient for us to be able to camp this way, instead of in separate tents. It allowed for more body heat to accumulate in a small space, which was why generally these sorts of tents were used when traveling in the desert.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the best set up for me, considering my nightmares, and especially the dream I had had last night. I determined that it would be best for me to simply not sleep. So as everyone lay down, with Kankuro on one edge, then Temari, then Gaara, then me, then the twins, I kept my eyes open.

I grumbled softly to myself. I don't know what Temari and Kankuro were thinking, but when Gaara went to take his usual position at the edge of the tent, Kankuro took it and then Temari took the next one, forcing him to be next to me. And of course the twins weren't about to sleep next to Gaara. When I had asked where they were going to sleep they had said, in unison naturally, "We're sleeping on this side, of course. He's your boyfriend after all."

That had gotten some interesting reactions from everybody. I face palmed. Kankuro choked on nothing and began to cough suspiciously. Temari busied herself with swatting him on the back, looking as if she were questionably shaking. I was pretty sure she was laughing. I glared at them. Gaara didn't respond, of course, but I saw him blink. Which as far as Gaara was concerned, sometimes meant shock-face.

I turned to glare at the twins. "Really? You're going to bring that joke out now?! Hello? Inappropriate!" I hissed at them, thoroughly embarrassed, which made me thoroughly pissed off.

They snickered, a little nervously, and simply took their spots. Eventually, I sighed and plopped down in my designated spot. I calmly grabbed my travel pillow, which was pretty sturdy, and brought it to my lap. I nonchalantly straitening the cover on it, lightly tugging on the corners to make it nice and even, before firmly gripping both corners, turning and smacking first one twin and then the next, hard on the side of their head, which I'm sure was the equivalent of boxing one of their ears. Then I turned, put the pillow back in my lap, calmly smoothed the pillowcase back out, straitened the corners, and tucked it back behind me, gently patting it for good measure.

Both twins took their punishment without complaint, just hunching down into their covers, familiar with my pillow-smacking them from many missions where they either pissed me off in the morning or at night. When I glanced over I saw that Kankuro and Temari were both shocked, but also amused, judging by their open mouths and wide eyes. Kankuro began to snicker.

I narrowed my eyes and pointed a finger at him. "If you snore mister…" I trailed off threateningly, and patted my pillow again before I lay down.

Everyone soon fell asleep after that, I could tell from the sound of their breathing. Of course, Gaara wasn't asleep. He stayed pretty tense, and I could feel it since he was lying next to me. We weren't touching, but even the air around him was tense. He sat up, and just sat there, not even trying to sleep, which made sense. Unfortunately for me, I could feel fatigue weighing my eyelids down, still not fully recovered from the last mission. I barely managed to put up my wind jutsus, one for sound, one for motion, not really thinking about what Gaara would think about it.

I immediately slipped into a dream when I closed my eyes, not necessarily a bad one at first. I was wandering the streets of Suna, just sort of meandering along. I didn't really recognize anything. My gaze was caught by a shock of red hair and I smiled, immediately altering my course to go say hello to Gaara. He smiled, and for a moment I was perfectly happy, and then his eyes turned black.

I gasped, shocked and afraid, and slowly backed away from Shukaku, never knowing what to expect from him.

Strangely, though I had fully expected him to fly into a rage and attack, he instead looked sad, his big black and gold eyes mournful, and he reached out to me. I hesitated, but finally gathered the courage together to inch back towards him, and I hesitantly stretched out my own hand. My fingers just barely brushed his before something happened, and suddenly he was gone. The streets melted, and suddenly sand was everywhere, and I gasped as I couldn't tell up from down. I scrambled to catch my balance in the sea of shifting sediment, and thankfully the ground reformed very quickly.

Abruptly I found myself in _that_ canyon and Gaara was in _that_ cage.

I ran to him, immediately trapped in that memory, a memory warped by my subconscious. But the fear was the same, the desperation to free him gripping me hard and tight in my chest and gut. I didn't necessarily remember why, but I somehow knew that he would die if I didn't free him, and the fear was such that, if I had had the luxury to do so, I might have either vomited or passed out. I reached in, straining between the metal slots to pull him out, and his hand grabbed mine. For a second I felt immense relief, but that was shattered with shock when suddenly he pulled me into the cage, with him.

Now we were both trapped, and his eyes were black again, and dangerous.

He growled, a low sound that reverberated through the strange echoing space of my dream. I gasped, retreating, but unable to go far, because he still had my hand. He used it to swing me around and slam me into the solid wall of the cage. I yelped as he pinned me to the wall with his body, and he grinned, the smile all sharp teeth and feral. My stomach clenched, as that smile both frightened me, and strangely excited me at the same time.

And then those sharp teeth descended and sunk into my throat. But it didn't hurt, and strangely I was unafraid.

I woke, my eyes wide and blurry, panting hard, my pulse pounding in my neck and my hand gripping the bedding beneath me with a white-knuckled fist. I shivered and swallowed hard, attempting to get myself under control. I hated those dreams, the ones that were so confusing you didn't know if they were a nightmare or something else entirely. There had been moments that were certainly terrifying, the desperation and fear still lingering in my nervous system, the adrenaline rushing through my body and confusing me even further. And then there were the parts that made me feel other things, and that was just as confusing, if not more so. I groaned and rubbed my head, noting the sweat and how hot I felt. I wasn't sure if that was from the fear or the other stuff. It could be both.

I rolled onto my back, dispersing the wind barrier that was holding me with a flick of a finger. I didn't plan to go back to sleep, so it wouldn't matter anymore. I lay on my back and let my eyes roll back into my head as I continued trying to get my breathing back to normal. I felt flushed, and probably was, and felt a little trembly too. I reached one hand up to push my bangs out of my sweaty face and then observed my fingers with a slitted eye. Yes, my hands were shaking. I sighed and dug my fingers into my hair, using that as an anchor so my hand would stop wobbling and to allow some cool air to get to my forehead.

After a moment, I sighed again and opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling of the tent, and then my eyes slid sideways to the figure sitting next to me that I had ignored before. Naturally it was Gaara, which, after the dream I just had, I wasn't really sure what to feel about it.

My shit was so jumbled up in my head that I felt kind of out of it. "Oh. Hi." I mumbled sort of blankly when my eyes met his.

I slowly blinked and inhaled through my nose, turning my face back towards the ceiling, at which point I sort of just spaced out, my eyes glazing over and not staring at anything in particular as my brain scrambled to reorganize itself. The filing system was all scattered everywhere, papers flying, shelves toppled, emotions and memories sticking like gummy ink to everything and making it so confusing. I imagined flying paper airplanes zipping around my central nervous system and snickered softly to myself, probably sounding a little insane. That's what these sorts of dreams did to me. That, and being exhausted on top of it did not mix well. I felt drunk, unsteady and very fuzzy.

Gaara's face appeared above mine as he leaned slightly to the side to get a look at my face from above. I blinked lazily up at him, mildly thinking, ' _Oh look there's Gaara. Hi Gaara_!' but not saying anything.

He blinked down at me, looking somewhat concerned. Perhaps. It was hard to place his expression on a good day, and this wasn't even day, this was night, and it was not good.

I cocked my head to the side regarding him as he regarded me, thinking that he looked a little different from this angle. His red hair flopped over his face and hung down, exposing his forehead more. I got the urge to poke his forehead, and so I did. Not very well because my hands were still a little unsteady, so I missed and sort of poked his nose instead. I jerked back a little, making my finger slip down his nose. "…mmm, hold on that wasn't right…" I frowned, took more careful aim and then managed to put my finger right in the center of his forehead. I smiled victoriously, feeling strangely accomplished.

Then of course I remembered that I probably shouldn't touch him, so I frowned a little and let my hand flop down onto my belly with a ' _thwap_ ' sound. I blinked up at Gaara, who looked utterly befuddled. He blinked several times in rapid succession, his non-eyebrows doing that little scrunch thing right in the middle and his eyes a little wider than normal as he nearly crossed his eyes to apparently try and figure out why I had poked him on the forehead. I snorted, finding his expression amusing.

Eventually his expression smoothed back out. I woke up a little more and realized I was being utterly stupid, and sighed at the realization.

His face still hung over mine. "Did you have a nightmare?" He asked softly, scrunching his brow a little again, this time in concern. I felt the urge to reach up and smooth it out with a finger, but was too awake now to follow through with it. I hummed noncommittally, not really able to classify the dream as a true nightmare. It was more of a nightmare for me to make sense of afterwards.

"Then why did you wake up so…upset?" He inquired, his voice so low pitched and soft that I had a hard time making it out.

"It was just very strange. Kind of bad, but not a nightmare." I murmured back in the same sort of voice, mine sounding a little raspy and sleepy.

He sat back a little and I followed with my head, which meant that my head bumped into his leg. "What was it about?" He asked, his voice still soft and curious now.

"Oh nothing much, just a bunch of random stuff thrown together." I hummed quietly.

"Like what?"

"Not really sure … I was in Suna, and then …" I thought back, but didn't want to say that he had been in the dream.

"You said my name." He murmured.

"Did I?" I asked, surprised, not about the fact that I had, but about the fact that he had somehow heard.

"Yes, quite a lot actually."

"How would you know, I put a jutsu to block noise around me. Did it fail at some point?" I asked, disturbed.

"No. But I could read your lips." He said in that matter-of-fact way of his.

"You were reading my lips?" I asked, a little put out by that.

"Yes."

"Why?" I was still put out.

"I was bored." He shrugged.

"Nifty little talent you got there." I muttered, sounding a tad sarcastic.

"…hm…" Then silence. After a moment he continued, "So what was I doing in your dream?"

I sighed, knowing that that incorrigible curiosity of his had been peaked. "You just sort of popped up out of nowhere … then things changed and we were in that canyon and you were in the cage."

"…oh." He murmured softly.

"Yeah, that's why it was a bad dream." I sighed, glancing away for a second before meeting his searching gaze again.

"Do you dream about stuff like that a lot?"

"Stuff like what?" I cocked my head to the side a smidge more.

"Stuff from missions." He clarified.

"Not from all of my missions, just the ones where something went wrong usually."

"Oh. So then you dream about…" He mumbled, sounding disturbed.

I sighed "It's a long list Gaara."

"Tell me." He demanded, all bossy as usual.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

I shrugged. "Okaaaay, but don't say I didn't warn you. Are we talking about dreams in general, like recurrent elements, or nightmares, or both?"

"Both. I suppose."

"Okay well, you show up a lot, Shukaku sometimes too. Missions gone bad, like you in that cage, or being tied up. Being an orphan on the street, lots of street stuff, lots of running, lots of dark. Blood. Sometimes there's actually a reason for it being there, sometimes I just smell it or taste it randomly. Glass. Lots of glass. Trash. And other nasty stuff, like the smell of vomit or urine. Alleys. Almost always dark alleys. Sand, which is sometimes scary, sometimes not. Other stuff. It's like all the bad shit in my head just gets mashed up together in whatever random sort of way. A lot of the time it makes no sense." I grimaced.

"What do I usually do in your dreams?" he asked softly, sounding curious.

I gave him a look, totally not going to go there. He just stared back, waiting. "You're just you know … there I guess. Sometimes there's the whole cage thing, and with that particular nightmare sometime you die." I flinched, remembering that recurrent nightmare always made me flinch. "Um, sometimes you're running with me and then you disappear. Or you're there, and then you're gone, and then you're there again. It just depends."

"That's it? I only ever show up in the bad dreams?" His voice sounded kind of sad now.

"No. Well I guess, sort of. But then, I always have bad dreams. I had one once where I was drowning in glass that turned to sand, and when I came out of it I was lying in the desert looking up at the stars. When I looked over, you were there, lying down next to me. That was pretty cool." I whispered, remembering the dream. It hadn't started out fun, but I cherished the memory of the ending, still remembering the beautiful way I felt when I woke up.

He blinked, looking disturbed and some other things I couldn't quite place.

It was strange how it didn't feel weird to talk to him about this stuff. I was probably giving away too much, but it felt safe for some reason. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night or something.

 **Chapter 17**

The next morning everyone woke up, and we were all off, munching on various compact breakfast type foods. I was eating a fruit, which turned out to be a dangerous affair when you were running, because I misjudged and bit into the seed, cussing colorfully as my teeth protested. And then of course that made me trip rather spectacularly and I nearly choked on some of the fruit as it went down the wrong way.

"You okay there?" Hikaru inquired from next to me, and I sourly nodded, recovering after a moment of coughing. It turned out that it was kind of tough to cough and run at the same time, but somehow I managed, not wanting to slow everyone down.

"That fruit beating you up?" Kaoru teased from the other side, and I lobbed the pit at him. My brothers were such jackasses sometimes.

We continued to run all day, stopping for short breaks as we all had to use the sandy facilities, or drink from our canteens, and soon we were running through grass, and then the woods. And then it was nighttime again, and we set up our tent.

This time Gaara managed to snag his place on the outside of the tent and I slept between the twins. I woke in the middle of the night again, this time from a true nightmare, and Kaoru sleepily threw his arm over me, and tucked his head down almost against my shoulder. Which he promptly drooled on. But I supposed that it was comforting drool. Sort of.

The next morning I fussed at him for it though. "You drooled on me again." I said, sounding kind of Gaara-like with a monotone voice. I ignored the looks the sand siblings were sending us, a mix of bemusement, shock, amusement, and possibly disgust.

"Whoops, my bad." He mumbled, still half asleep.

I just smacked him with my pillow, which didn't get much of a response aside from a muffled "mrph" because he was still so sleepy.

I sighed and let it go. The day went the same as the last, a lot of running, some small breaks, and everyone was exceptionally happy to see the village that we needed to be at.

"Thank heavens. Bath time!" Kaoru yelped, speeding up a little. "Not if I get there first!" Hikaru countered, and they proceeded to race in front of everyone else, to our bemusement.

"How do they have so much energy?" Kankuro asked, thoroughly bewildered.

"Don't look at me." I said when everyone did just that. "I don't know! I just have to deal with it." I protested.

"I feel for ya." Kankuro muttered.

Soon we were all at the gates and we entered at a more reasonable pace, doing our best to blend in with the crowd. We proceeded to the place that we had been instructed to go for accommodations and put away our bags once we had been checked into our two rooms, Gaara and his team in one, me and my team in the one next door.

And then we held a conference in Gaara's room. "Okay guys, what's the plan?" I inquired, parking my butt next to Temari on one of the beds.

"We need to gather information." Kaoru piped up, unsurprisingly, since he was a reconnaissance kind of guy.

"Agreed." Gaara rumbled, shocking Kaoru so much he nearly dropped the red bean bun that he was currently munching on.

"Maybe we should split up and ask around? See what we can get from the villagers?" Temari asked.

"That's not a bad idea. How about we split up into groups of two." I added.

"We could go out for an hour at a time and meet back here after that to touch base." Kankuro suggested.

"That sounds good. Kaoru and I will be a team." Hikaru said.

Kankuro supplied, "Okay, then how about Gaara and me as a team, and Temari and Ren as the other?"

I shrugged. "Sounds fine to me." Everyone nodded and we dispersed, each team taking a different direction from the accommodations.

Temari and I headed north to start with, and ended up walking down a rather interesting road with curio shops on either side. "How about we talk to the shop owners, sometimes they like to gossip." I mumbled to Temari.

She nodded and we made our way to a fascinating little shop full of crystals and cards. I addressed the older, nice looking woman there behind the counter. We started out with some small talk, and I tried to be as charming as possible, which didn't turn out to be terribly difficult, since she was quite pleasant to talk to.

"So, we heard this weird rumor," I started, making sure to sound faintly amused and curious, "Something about people disappearing?" I laughed and pointed to Temari. "My friend here is super superstitious and didn't want to come on this vacation because she had heard the rumors."

The older woman's eyes sharpened. "If I were you, I would be very careful about asking those sorts of questions," she murmured in a very low voice, her eyes intense and worried. "And you should consider wearing better disguises if you wish to be considered tourists." She continued kindly, not at all angry, but sounding concerned for us.

I blinked, shocked. "Okay, but seriously, have you heard anything?" I inquired, my voice lowering like hers.

"Not much. Some people say there are demons or spirits that hunger for those who possess wind chakra and eat them in the middle of the night. Other people say that it's a group of people who do satanic rituals, and use wind users as a sacrifice to their dark god. Personally, I don't know what's going on, but it's bad. And you should be very careful."

"Thank you. We will be going now." Temari came up and joined us, looking around furtively.

The older woman nodded and we left. "She had a good point," I said a little ways later. "We should be disguised."

"Yeah, it's almost time to meet up with the others, we should tell them."

We hustled back to the small lodge we were staying at and rejoined the group. Once we had all arrived we related our information along with everyone else. Over all, not a hugely successful haul, just a lot of rumors and speculations, but what was for sure, was that everyone knew about it, and that it was happening.

Our next order of business was for us to all go and come up with costumes, so we left to round up something. This time Gaara and I paired up and we set off to go find appropriate costuming. We went down the market street, hoping to find something there.

I bought some colorful scarves and a pretty bag that I could sling across my body. Gaara didn't really need much, the only thing he switched out was his shirt, since it looked a little uniform-ish.

We returned and everyone took turns in their respective bathrooms changing out of gear and into something less ninja-esque.

I took off all my armor and put the colorful scarves around my hips, I tucked my shurikens and blades into the pretty bag I had bought.

The twins had bought some stylish clothes, not really anything different than what they would normally wear, but lacking their weaponry and armor. Kankuro had traded out his weird jumpsuit for a plain pair of black pants and a black shirt and had scrubbed off all his face paint. Temari wore something similar to her usual outfit, sort of a lavender kimono top with shorts, and simply put her fan into a sealed scroll which she tucked into a little handbag. Gaara switched his red shirt for the plain black sleeveless shirt he had bought, leaving his fishnet on underneath, so his long fishnet sleeves were visible and took off his gourd, white sash, and belts. I noticed the way he drew out a little bit of sand and fashioned a smaller gourd for himself, hanging it at his hip and filling it with a small amount of sand. I knew that even that small amount of sand was more than enough for him to take out most enemies.

Once finished, we all made sure to take off our headbands and tuck away any stray weaponry.

Temari and I set off again as a team and went around, asking questions and flirting a lot to get answers. It was exhausting. By the time the day was over, we had amassed a large body of knowledge, but none of it really helped at all.

So the next day, we did it again. It was tiring and frustrating and irritating and Temari and I both got thoroughly pissed off.

"Everyone knows stuff is going on, but no one has bothered to try and figure out what it is!" Temari growled, as we stomped down a little side street.

"I know. You'd think if people were disappearing you would want to know what the hell was going on! But I guess everyone is just too afraid."

"I guess." Temari sighed.

We walked a little further, and then our attention was rather rudely diverted by some idiots perched on a low wall. One of them wolf-whistled and several of his buddies did the same. "Hey there ladies!" one of them said, another one followed with, "Nice Ass!" and yet another hooted, "Woohoo! Check out the rack on blondie!"

We turned in unison and before Temari could draw her fan I had sent a gust of wind to knock them off their perches and onto their dumb asses. "Watch it fella's." Temari said sweetly. "You don't want to piss us off, trust me."

I said nothing, just glared at them and they scrambled to their feet and took off running. Neither of us thought much about it after that, but maybe we should have. We continued on, asking many more people, and not getting a lot more information than before.

After a full days' worth of a whole lot of nothing we all reconvened in the lodge.

"Anything?"

"Nope. You?"

"Not much. Just the same sort of shit from yesterday. A whole lot of stories about demons or demon worshipers or evil spirits, blah, blah, blah." Kankuro huffed, falling back onto one of the beds.

"It seems like someone has intentionally put out a bunch of very frightening rumors, mostly supernatural type things that would scare people off. By making it about demons or evil spirits, many people would think there was nothing they could do about it and just leave it alone." Kaoru pointed out logically.

"That makes sense. It has to be the people responsible for the disappearances. They're trying to scare off the villagers from investigating." I sighed, sitting down too.

Temari groaned. "It seems to be working."

"Yep." I sighed, again.

"Alright, let's call it a night."

"Sounds good."

"Sure."

"…hm…"

And we all separated into our two rooms.

Hikaru and Kaoru immediately stole the bathroom and I sat down on the bed, knowing I would be in for a long wait. I sighed, as I waited for them to be fucking done already. They both took notoriously long showers, and when they both went in, that meant one would take a shower and then the other would, which of course doubled the time involved.

Not long after I heard the shower start, my attention was drawn from sulking over the shower occupation when I heard a huge amount of noise from the room next door. I sat up abruptly, concerned and then bolted for the adjoining door when I heard Temari scream. I didn't get to the door though, because someone grabbed me from behind. I managed a scream of my own.

Well, it was more of a yelled cussword, but it was pretty loud and high pitched, so it counted as a scream. I was totally taken unawares, and their stealth concerned me greatly, indicating that these were people not to be messed with.

I threw back an elbow and sent whoever it was crashing into the nightstand. I headed for the door again, not liking that they had caught us separated like this. And then there was the problem of, "KAORU, HUKARU, GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HERE WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" which was punctuated nicely when someone else grabbed me from behind and I yelled, "GET OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

I heard a whole lot of scrambling and loud noises coming from the bathroom, and quite a lot of cussing from the twins.

I focused on the battle at hand, really not liking it when I felt a needle jab me in the neck. I yelped and threw my head back, banging it into my attackers, and staggered away from them, immediately noticing that my balance was compromised when the world began tilting at dangerous angles.

"Oh Shit. This is NOT Good. Holy fucking HELL." I screamed the last bit when another guy jumped through the window.

I heard a lot of commotion from next door. There was still a major battle happening over there for sure. I mustered a little chakra and managed to blow down the adjoining door, so I could at least see what the fuck was going on. "Holy Crap." I muttered when I saw what was going down in that room.

Temari was staggering around like me, sending wind every which away with her fan and knocking over everybody indiscriminately, which was actually working to a certain extent. I managed to yell out a warning as someone snuck up behind Kankuro and got him with a needle too. I could only hope that maybe he had immunity, since he was a puppet master, but apparently it wasn't poison since he started staggering around too and his puppets went limp.

Gaara was going nuts, his sand sort of making it look incredibly chaotic. His sand immediately seeped into this room too, making my attackers cuss. Someone threw a smoke bomb and we all cussed quite colorfully, Kaoru and Hikaru busting out of the shower at that moment into utter chaos.

Under different circumstances I would have laughed at their appearance, one of them dripping wet and in his pajama pants with shampoo still in his hair, the other had toothpaste foaming out of his mouth, making him look quite fearsome and rabid actually. Neither of them had weapons, but Kaoru immediately started up with Genjutsu hand signs, and suddenly there was a lot more chaos as he unleashed his Prism Jutsu on us all. Now there was several of everyone.

"Oh come on Kaoru!" Several of me yelled simultaneously. "Did you have to use that one?"

Multiple versions of him shrugged. And all the Hikarus dived for their metal sticks, bringing them up and successfully thwacking the nearest enemy upside the head. He was used to this jutsu and could function in it pretty well, while the rest of us were thrown for a prismatic loop.

For a minute it looked like we had the upper hand, but then another smoke bomb went off, and that kind of fucked up the visual Genjutsu. Soon the smoke was so thick you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, and both wind types were down. Even Temari had run out of spiz. My body failed and I collapsed to the floor, limp and furious.

Someone grabbed me, and I knew it wasn't one of my friends. I tried to scream but they covered my mouth and nose, making it impossible to breath. As I was dragged out, I noticed that the window was covered in sand, Gaara not taking any chances. Good for him.

Unfortunately they just blew a hole in the wall next to the window, and were through before the sand could cover it again. What we learned from these experiences was that smoke bombs were really excellent when it comes to kidnapping people. I saw Temari, limp and about in the same state I was in being carried by another guy and we stared at each other in silent horror as our visions blurred, trying to maintain eye contact for as long as possible before we passed out and the world went black.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Okay, this might seem a little repetitive and similar to the last time Ren was kidnapped, but it really isn't. Something is about to happen that's going to change the whole game. What will they do to Ren and Temari?

I'll give you a clue, and if anyone gets it right, I'll try and post the next chapter tomorrow. ;)

Here's the clue: _I think the two-tail and Nekomata (big powerful cats) are epic. I think Gaara is epic. I want Ren to be epic._

(I also really like Shukaku and the nine-tail fox.) You can decide if that's part of the clue.

Chew on that and tell me what you think. ;)


	52. Burn With Me: Chapter 18 & 19

**Chapter 18**

When I woke up I was chained to a table, which did not feel good at all. And these were some seriously real metal chains, and were pretty damn snug to boot. When I looked up I could see that my hands were in metal shackles, and so were my legs when I look down. _Damn and double damn. Not again._ I immediately attempted to summon chakra to break free, but couldn't. The chains or else the table must have some sort of property that dampened chakra. Of course.

Giving up on that for the moment I looked around, craning my neck to see. On the table next to me was Temari, in a similar situation. She was also awake and looking around, totally pissed off and terrified, which was about where I was on the scale of feelings. I hissed softly to get her attention. She looked over and I motioned with my eyes, to see if she saw anyone over on her side of the room. She looked and then shook her head and I nodded. Then I tried to see if I could see anyone, which I couldn't. I shook my head to indicate that I also didn't see anybody.

While nothing was happening we both worked on trying to get free from our chains. I couldn't use chakra, but I could sure as hell try to get my hand through. I knew it wouldn't fit naturally, but if I could just break something maybe I could force it. It wasn't a particularly pleasant prospect, but it was the only thing I could think of, and I had dealt with shit like that before.

I worked and worked, tugging and pulling and yanking and bending any way I could possibly think of, forcing myself to not pay any attention to when the metal cut into my skin, the blood only serving as a lubricant as far as I was concerned. I could hear Temari doing something similar, our soft grunts and the sound of our bodies moving on the tables and the clink of our chains the only sounds in the room.

Unfortunately neither one of us had enough time, because several people came in at that point, a man in a white lab coat, several ninja, and several medical ninja. "Well look what we have here, a couple of escape artists. You've certainly gotten further along than some of my test subjects."

I snarled at him and he just laughed moving on to Temari who went further than I did and gave him several choice words. "You fucking asshole! What the hell?! Where are we and what do you want?"

"Yes, yes. Indeed." He simply chuckled and mildly agreed with her, going about his business.

"Alright we'll start with the blond one, prepare her for testing."

I craned my head to see what they were doing. They removed her top amidst her cussing and struggling. My neck cramped but I forced it to keep my head up, unable to do anything else but offer Temari support through my gaze. Well that, and add to her litany of cusses.

"You fucking bastards what do you think you're doing?!" She hollered, sounding more pissed off than I had ever heard her.

"Yeah perverts, let us fucking go! Stop that right now damn it all!" I added.

"Fuck you all to hell." She yelled, thrashing in her chains.

"And back so you can make the trip twice." I shouted.

"Exactly!" She agreed.

And so forth.

But it didn't do us any good. They had soon striped her top half, leaving her underwear alone thankfully.

"First we must test her endurance for the seal. If she cannot even bear the seal then she is worthless." White Coat #1 gestured for several ninja to step forth.

Then a younger person came in, carrying some sort of what looked like an artifact or something, but it was sharp. It looked like some sort of fancy knife, which did not bode well for us. One of the ninja took the knife and carefully carved a sealing jutsu into Temari's chest, right above her breasts. She yelled and cussed and yelled and screamed and cussed some more. I joined her for support.

Then while the first ninja held the blade, the second made a whole lot of complicated hand signs, most of which I didn't even recognize. And that probably meant it was a forbidden jutsu. We both watched in trepidation as his hands started glowing an unnatural shade of blue with red edges. It certainly wasn't normal chakra.

He slammed his hands down on the sealing symbol carved into her chest and she immediately bowed off the table and screamed. I had never heard such a scream before, it made me understand the meaning of the word blood curdling, because that's what it felt like it was doing. It was so high-pitched, unnatural and full of pain that it literally felt like the blood in my veins said 'oh hell no to that' and then 'fuck you' and promptly started to flow backwards, which would explain why I suddenly felt really dizzy. It also made me immediately sick to my stomach and want to pass out.

I went limp, unable to hold my head up any longer, my body shaking too badly. It went on and on and eventually her voice went hoarse and then disappeared altogether, but I could still hear her trying to scream, the air rushing out silently.

I closed my eyes and felt tears slide down my face, unable to do anything to help her, except yank on my chains harder and harder, driven by every scream to somehow, someway, make my hands fit through those damn holes. I twisted on the table, using my whole body as torque to try and rip something free, whether my hands would be intact was beyond anything I cared about at the moment.

The screams died out before I could free myself though and I immediately poked my head up again, checking to see if she was still alive, which she was. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well it looks as though she can hold the seal, even if it's a little unstable. Let's try the other one, see if she can hold it any better than this one."

I heard Temari try to weakly protest, but I immediately shushed her, telling her to just try and rest. She had done it and survived, and so would I, damn it. I wasn't going to die here. I would live to see these bastards rot in hell for what they had done to her. Which was the only thing I said to them, and then I simply lay still and stared at them, glaring with all the hatred I felt. A few of them got a little nervous.

They cut off my shirt but left on my bandages mostly intact, although they cut a slit in the top to get down a little further on my chest, and I watched as they cleaned off the blade with some sort of ceremonial ritual. I took a deep breath and watched as they approached, bringing the sharp point down on my chest and began to cut into my flesh. I flinched but attempted to not make any noise, aside from muttering curses under my breath. It hurt for sure, but I knew this was the easy bit, and anyway I had dealt with this particular pain many times before. Once done, the one held the knife and I braced myself for who the hell knows what, but whatever it was had made Temari scream like they had been skinning her alive or something.

His hands began to glow blue just like before and then they slammed down on my chest, momentarily taking my breath from my lungs. The pain was indescribable, and I lost all sense of anything outside of it, simply unaware that I too was screaming. I was unaware of thrashing or writhing, only knowing the pain in my chest and slowly running through my veins.

It felt like fire, like a live fire had been set on my chest and it was slowly seeping into my body and then traveling through my veins, muscles, and tendons. It felt almost as if it were alive, like some sort of parasitic fiery plant making a root system within me, the little spears branching out and grabbing on hard as the fire burned hotter and hotter. It felt as if my flesh should be melting, like I shouldn't be able to breathe because now my lungs were on fire, like I simply should not be alive because now my heart was on fire.

It lasted forever, time ceased to mean anything, and all I knew was pain.

Eventually though, it did end, leaving me shaking uncontrollably and dizzy, my vision blurry.

"Well now, this is the most promising we've had! It took to her like a child to a mother! Perhaps we've finally found the perfect host! Bring her in boys."

After a moment of catching my breath I managed to turn my head so I could see Temari who was now the one craning her neck to see if I was alive. I gave her a weak smile and she returned it.

"Piece of cake…" I wheezed, and she chuckled weakly in response, knowing exactly what a huge, nasty, spiky, piece of bullshit, cake I had just dealt with.

After only a moment the men returned, carrying some sort of box between them. There was something in that box. I could feel it, and it was not happy. There were sealing marks all around the box.

"Deactivate the blond one's seal, but leave it intact, just in case." One ninja nodded and went over to Temari, touching her chest, and she screamed, one short loud shriek. The mark on her chest flashed blue and then died, and her scream stopped as she slumped back to the table.

As they brought the box closer to me and I could feel the mark on my chest and the weird root like structure underneath vibrating. I shuddered, really not wanting to know what was in that box.

They placed the box into some sort of contraption above me, some sort of structure rigged up to hold it in place. I watched with horror as they fiddle with it and then stood back to draw a sealing circle, with me in the center. They stood on the edges and started to make hand signs as the box began to glow blue and then red.

I watched as a hole began to appear on the bottom of the box and something started to trickle out, some sort of vapor that was drawn to that mark on my chest. I gasped as it touched me. It felt strange, like pure chakra and it made that mark burn and vibrate so intensely I had to grit my teeth to prevent myself from screaming again. It sat there for a moment and then another group of people started doing a different hand sign and it felt like a hole had been popped open in my chest. The weird chakra substance started to go inside. This time I did scream, the sensation beyond pain, beyond fear, beyond _**wrong**_. It felt like being stabbed in one long continuous movement that never ended.

I choked and cried and sobbed and screamed and made all sorts of noises I wasn't proud of. And again it lasted forever. White Coat #1 directed everyone to take it slowly, to not rush the process, to let it happen at its own pace, blah blah blah. I screamed at him.

I began to feel strange, like there was something inside of me that didn't want to be there.

 _ **LET ME OUT!**_

"Oh I would if I could believe me…" I answered gasping on a sob, not wanting it there anymore than it did.

 _ **THEY WILL DIE!**_

"I agree." I answered the mysterious voice again, cringing as more of that stuff was shoved inside of me.

I was only moderately aware of someone rushing in, "We must hurry, we've been discovered!"

"Oh dear. Well, we're almost done. Do the last bit now."

The last bit was shoved in unceremoniously and both me and whatever was now inside me screamed, not liking it at all. It now felt crowded in my own skin, and I could only imagine what it felt like for whatever was now holed up in there.

I gasped, wheezing as I tried to adjust to the strange sensation. My head flopped to the side as I struggled to come to terms with the weirdness and I notice absentmindedly that I could see Kankuro, Gaara, and the boys in the hallway, fighting past the ninja that had been placed there for security purposes.

Kankuro had all three puppets out and about creating mayhem and destruction. Lots and lots of iron maidens happening in a row. Kaoru had his bow out and was sniping off the guys behind them, while Hikaru had his whips out and blazing, sending waves of enemies this way and that.

And of course Gaara looked absolutely crazy and homicidal, his sand snarling through the little hallway off of our room with all the grace of an enraged octopus, which was actually pretty darn graceful, if terrifying.

My eyes met Gaara's for a moment, and I experienced relief, feeling as if now everything would be okay.

Until someone slammed their hands on my chest again, and my vision cut out entirely as my body went into spasm. I could no longer control any muscle group, and a vicious scream tore out of my throat, different this time, sounding deeper, having a note of a wild animal somewhere in my own voice.

 **Chapter 19**

I must have blacked out, because when I woke up, I was not myself anymore.

All I felt was fury, destructive uncontainable fury. I just wanted to tear everyone and everything to shreds, _literally_. It was like I was in a haze, my mind so full of bloodlust that everything felt a little fuzzy. There was something there, something not me, something new and frightening and deadly. And it was in the driver's seat. But I wasn't really aware of that, it just felt like me, like I was the one furious and bloodthirsty.

I felt the chains on my wrists, and it enraged me, my only thought to get free so I could hunt and kill, my only goal was to seek revenge on the ones who did this to me. A sound tore from my throat, and it didn't sound human, it sounded like a roar, a feral animal sound of pain and fury at being bound. I didn't notice my teeth sharpening or my nails lengthening into claws.

I pulled, yanking viciously at my bindings, the thick chains creaking, and I dimly felt the metal slowly cutting deeper and deeper into my flesh, grinding against the bones in my wrists. My chakra overflowed the chakra absorption jutsus on the chains, violent wind starting to gust through the room, knocking over furniture and making a low growling sound. Another shriek escaped me, the frightening sound echoing strangely with two voices, one human and one decidedly not, and my whole body heaved, intent on getting free.

The chains broke.

I was off the table before I knew I was moving and landed in a crouch, already hunting my prey. The people there, the comrades of the one who chained me and the ones who had performed the jutsu, they were still in the room, milling around in disarray. Many of them were already in combat with my comrades, but I didn't really recognize my own friends anymore. The white lab coat, the leader of this little experiment had managed to escape, and that only sent me into a higher rage.

I grabbed the nearest person to me and dug my claws into them, easily ripping them to shreds, and blood spattered everywhere. Another roar tore from my throat, a glorious sound of battle and rage and pain.

I didn't fight. I hunted and I killed.

My claws lengthened into deadly blades of wind, shredding anything in sight. I snarled and leapt into the fray, killing indiscriminately, and thankfully all my comrades got out of my way, otherwise I might have killed them. I went for the first person I saw, my blade claws easily sliding into his stomach while my fangs closed on his neck. He was dead before his body hit the ground. I went to the next person, and the next and the next and the next. The blood ran so thickly that had I been me, I would have vomited simply from the smell.

For a moment, there was no one left to kill, and I stood panting, dripping in blood, looking for more victims, not fully satisfied.

My eyes landed on Gaara, and something twitched inside my mind, a memory. It temporarily knocked me out of the mindless bloodlust, and I became aware that I was not in control of my body. I felt a presence inside my mind, and felt buried beneath this presence. Now that I was aware of myself, I realized that it was the one feeling the fury and bloodlust. It was like waking up.

I saw Gaara and for just a second I was me again, and swayed, slightly off balance by the shift. I whispered, "Gaara?" confused and frightened by the unfolding events.

Then I was shoved aside again, and it was like looking through a filter, watching and hearing the events happen, but not at all in control of my own actions anymore.

"Well hello there." I purred, in a voice not my own.

I still had access to my senses. They were sharper now, much more so than I could believe. I could smell Gaara, even from this distance. He smelled like sand, and salty sweat, body heat, and something distinctly Gaara. Being able to smell him did something very strange to me, to _me_ and to _my_ body, and that had nothing to do with the odd being in my mind.

But there was something in his scent that caught the attention of what I was beginning to suspect was a multi-tail demon of some sort. It was the scent of another demon. Shukaku I suppose. Apparently the new presence inside of me liked this scent and started to stalk towards Gaara, bloodlust put aside for a different kind of lust. I was too shocked to really do much of anything, her mood changes left me with a bad case of whiplash.

I could definitely feel that it was female, her instincts leaving little doubt of that in my mind. She got up close and personal to Gaara, a good foot inside of his personal space. His eyes widened, but aside from that his face remained stoic.

"Hello Shukaku …" She purred from my throat, again in that strange voice.

Gaara's eye flashed black and gold, responding to the voice of my demon.

My hand reached out to him, and I knew that her intention was to draw him into some sort of embrace, or possibly a kiss. But undoubtedly it would be inappropriate. I panicked, throwing my consciousness mentally against the presence blocking me from the outside world. It was oddly kind of furry.

Suddenly I could strangely "see" the inside of my mind, me standing there facing off with a large cat-like creature with a strangely reptilian tail. Ad yet I could still see through my eyes, still somewhat aware of what was going on outside my own head. It was very odd, a sort of split-vision that made me dizzy. Inside my mind, I threw myself again at the creature, fighting for control. I must have jarred her, because our body stumbled back a step, thankfully away from Gaara.

"What the fuck is your problem?" She said through my mouth, addressing me verbally for everyone to hear. "You want him. Why are you fighting me?" My inner self dropped my mental mouth open in horror, nearly blanking out for a second. _Did she really just say that? Out loud, right in front of Gaara?!_

A quick blurry dizzy peek through my eyes and at Gaara's ever so slightly confused expression, told me what I needed to know. My horror was such that I gained control of my body, for just a second, just long enough to groan and do a face palm. And then I was back inside my mind looking out through my eyes like windows, a passenger in my own body. She snarled, her claws raking my face from where my hand had been placed from my face palm. I could still feel the pain from the cuts and flinched mentally.

Her attention was once again drawn to Gaara, much to my horror. His scent, mixed with Shukaku's seemed to be attracting her, sparking both cat-like curiosity and unfortunately other emotions that I daily experienced while around him, but certainly not when I was being controlled by an impulsive, instinctual creature. It seemed as though my love and lust toward Gaara, which was ingrained inside my body at this point now, was affecting my body's new passenger, and she wasn't inclined to deny herself.

 _Fuck._

She got closer to Gaara again, and I could feel her intentions, once again lustful, and I knew she planned on humping him into the next century, right in front of both of our siblings. Once again I reacted quite strongly, panicking and fighting her for control. My fear was strong enough that it caused my chakra to surge, causing little bursts of wind to spiral around us in fits and spurts.

She backed off again, growling. "You _**want**_ him, just give in." This time, she extended the word 'want' into a very suggestive purr, leaving very little doubt as to her meaning, and utterly humiliating me.

Gaara's eyes opened wide for a second, then narrowed into glittering slits, an expression of deep contemplation on his face. I really didn't want him to think too deeply into what my new alter ego had just spat out. My humiliation quickly turned into fury rivaling the cat-demon's when we first woke. This was completely unnecessary and I had had enough.

I snarled and attacked her with a viciousness that took her off guard. Our inner battle, chakra crackling against each other, mental bodies locked together with vicious intent, threw our real body into a frenzy. I staggered this way and that, randomly fighting the air, in what was probably quite a display. I was slowly and painfully climbing to the top of my consciousness, gradually gaining control, feeling her mental claws raking me as I went. A particularly violent thrust sent my body to the ground, where I stayed and writhed, every muscle straining against her.

Suddenly I was in control. Well, I was in the driver's seat at least, but I still had an enraged, enlarged, freakishly strong cat-creature behind me in the backseat. The world's worst backseat driver. She was still there, still clawing at me, still causing immeasurable pain behind my eyes. I could hear her screeches in my ears. I clawed at the ground, barely feeling my nails breaking bloody. My torso arched, heels digging into the ground. I struggled to retain control but I could feel my sanity slipping, the intense pain and stress too much for anyone's mind to handle.

Abruptly a weight landed on my hips. My legs were abruptly shoved to the ground under the weight, my thrashing limited to my upper body, which stilled from shock. My eyes opened, and I was stunned to see pale green eyes meeting mine.

Gaara was sitting on me. _Sitting on me! What the hell?_ Even the cat-demon was silent from surprise.

"Gaara?" I choked, my voice my own thankfully, but coming out rough and scratchy from screaming.

He said nothing, his face stoic, but his eyes were fierce. I was the sole focus of his entire attention. I didn't think I had ever seen him quite so focused, and being on the other end of that focus was startlingly terrifying. His eyes felt like they were piercing me with their green light.

The cat didn't stay quiet for long, she was almost immediately clamoring again for release. The sudden screech through my head and the accompanying sensation of having claws quite literally raking through my brain causing my eyes to shut again in agony. I scrunched my eyes shut tightly, head thunking back into the ground under the force of the onslaught. My entire upper body arched off the ground, nearly bucking Gaara off with the violent movement. His legs tightened nearly painfully. My head tossed, almost physically trying to shake her out, though it was pointless.

During a slight break, I cracked my eyes opened, head limply turned to the side now, and panting. I caught a glimpse of Kankuro, Temari, and the twins off to the side staring back and forth between Gaara and me with their mouths open in shock. The sight was rather humorous, and I suppose it made sense. Gaara rarely touched anyone, so to see him _sitting_ on me must have been quite the sight, even if they had probably seen something similar when we had sparred.

I was only temporarily distracted, the odd thoughts flashing through my mind in the span of a second, which was the only time I was allowed before the pain started back up in full force, worse even if that was possible. During the brief reprieve, which was less than a minute, it became obviously apparent that she was building up strength for a stronger assault. My head abruptly felt like it was going to split open from the pressure, the sensation of claws ten times worse, and now it felt like she was actually causing physical damage.

My hands clawed at my face, uncaring that it probably wasn't a good idea, what with my eyes being in my face and all. My wrists were immediately clamped into vise like grips and slammed to the ground at my sides. I was able to slit my eyes open enough to ascertain that Gaara was now pinning my hands to the ground. I wasn't allowed to dwell on that fact though, since I was much too involved with trying to keep the cat under wraps. She was so strong and so fucking violent.

I arched again, but my torso was slammed back to the ground. I was unaware of the fact that my hands were now shackled in sand, leaving his hands free to press into my chest, directly over the fresh seal that was easily visible due to me not wearing anything aside from my bandages, which had a V cut into them now.

I certainly became aware of the now much too familiar feeling of having a seal branded into my flesh though. My skin, right between my breasts, was once again charred with the sensation, same place, but even worse this time. It felt like it went right through me, burning a hole through my skin, bone, muscle, lungs, and reaching my backbone, the pain spreading to every part of my body from there.

I screamed, the sound ripped from me, and was joined by the sound of the cat inside of me shrieking in pain. It created an echo in my voice, the scream turning unearthly, inhuman, and hurting even my own ears. It was over much more quickly than the first time though, the initial pain barely lasting a minute, leaving residual pain, thrumming through my flesh.

I must have blacked out again, because I found myself surfacing from an abyss. It must have only been a few seconds that my mind shut down, but my mind was blessedly silent. There were no claws raking through my head or screaming in my ears. Upon further self-inspection I could still feel her dimly, but I was much too tired to go searching for her. I opened my eyes, slowly due to my pounding headache. My blurry gaze was immediately consumed by jade eyes, eyes that were much to close.

My eyes popped open, which I immediately regretted because the light caused a new shaft of pain to pierce my poor head. Gaara's face was less than a foot from mine, his piercing eyes just inches from my own. Close enough that he could probably see every bloodshot vessel in the white of my eyes, which were probably quite visible, given how widely my eyes were opened in shock.

He sat back, still on top of me, much to my surprise, embarrassment, and secret delight. It really must have only been brief seconds that I had blacked out, because even his hands were still pressed to my chest, which was still pulsing in pain.

He took his hands away and his gaze moved from my face to where his hands had been, closely observing the new, much larger seal. He appeared satisfied, the fierce concentration in his eyes softening. The sand that I only became aware of now, slithered away from my wrists and he stood, for a second his entire standing form directly over mine, giving me quite a new view of his muscular legs.

And then he stepped off, moving a few feet to the side, giving me room to get up. I didn't. The pain still pulsing through my body, and the fact that my head felt like it was one big bruise, inside and out, prevented me from moving for the moment. I took inventory in the few moments I allowed myself to lie still, recovering.

My head hurt, my chest still felt like I had been branded, my face hurt from the clawing, my whole body was sore, my throat felt raw, and I became aware that my wrists were also thrumming with sharp pain. Not really remembering why they hurt so much, I slowly lifted my arm up, bringing my wrist up for inspection. In my dazed state I was only somewhat confused by the mess that was now my wrists. They were red, beyond raw, the flesh cut into deeply, skin peeled and dangling in a few places, and even some white that I didn't realize was bone right away. I probably should have been horrified, queasy, and such, but really I was mostly just curious as to how it happened. I was too emotionally numb for much of anything else.

I watched, detached, as big red drops of blood slowly oozed down my arm and dripped off the wound. I was mostly unaware of the blood spattering onto my face.

The twins rushed over, tearing strips from the bottom of their shirts as they came. One of them took my raised wrist, breaking my concentration, dazed as it was, and I looked over at him. I could feel the other wrist being gently picked up by the other twin. I watched as Kaoru busied himself bandaging my raw flesh with strips of cloth, trying to keep his face impassive and somewhat failing when he grimaced at the view of bone. I felt the weight of unconsciousness forcing itself upon me and slowly gave in, my vision slowly going black and my eyes sliding shut.

 **End Chapter 19**

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Two of my wonderful reviewers got very, very close to guessing this chapter, so I did as promised and published sooner than I had planned. Winter break is a wonderful thing...plenty of time to write. :)

And yes, I know the kidnapping thing is a bit repetitive, but it turns out that Ren has a bad habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, so this might actually happen again. But rest assured, she is a bad-ass, and (except for the first kidnapping/rape incident) she always gets free and takes out the enemy. It just goes to show how dangerous the life of a ninja is. And even Temari got kidnapped this time. Just, suffice to say, almost everyone gets kidnapped at least once.

So anyway, what do you think? Now do you see why I was waiting? I wanted to make Ren and Gaara equals.

So yeah, as you can see, there are some complications coming up. As you got a little hint of here, Gaara's scent becomes a problem for Ren. And that's just one of the fun new things Ren gets to experience.

Someone recently asked me for more tension. Well, more tension is about to happen in a big way. You think teenage hormones are bad? Try adding into that lovely, pubescent mix a cat in permanent heat and see what that will do to ya.

Poor, poor Ren.

;)


	53. Burn With Me: Chapter 20

I drifted in and out of consciousness, unable to make sense of anything. I became aware of the sense of being lifted by sand, cradled almost tenderly. I saw faces come in and out of view, I felt temperature changes, but nothing really registered. When I finally drifted into full consciousness, it was to the sound of beeps and blips, with the sharp smell of disinfectant in my nose, and I found myself staring at a pasty white ceiling. I was obviously in the hospital. _Wow, big surprise._

My eyes felt a little sticky and gross, like they had been closed for some time and had developed an aged crust. I carefully lifted my head just a tad, trying to get my bearings. A sharp inhale on my right alerted me to the fact that I was not alone. I glanced over to be met with red hair and green eyes.

"You're awake." Gaara's typical gravelly, monotone voice observed.

I just blinked, the obviousness of his statement leaving me with little response. Eventually I croaked, "Yes?" It came out as a question, and I wasn't entirely sure why.

He blinked.

Soon after I woke, a nurse came in and when she saw that I was awake she quickly hustled over to check on me. This nurse was very different from the last one I had had. She was very thorough, quite brisk, didn't speak, and was all business. She took my vitals and then went to get a doctor.

I sat there for a moment, feeling a bit perturbed. I didn't like the way she had treated me, like I was just a statistic, and she had seemed very tense, not even making eye contact once. I glanced over at Gaara, and he met my gaze calmly, but I could sense something behind his eyes, something that suggested to me that he was also disturbed

The scent of disinfectant was making me nauseous. My sense of smell was so keen now that all the smells that normally would have been mildly unpleasant, were now absolutely awful, and gave me a headache. I couldn't even smell Gaara's sandy scent around so much unpleasantness. And the harsh bright white lights hurt my eyes. I could hear the doctors footsteps way before they got to the door, and I heard a hushed, tense conversation between him and the nurse, but couldn't make anything out of it aside from a few isolated words. I managed to catch random words like "threat," "containment," "concerning," and those words started making me feel very anxious. I could sense Gaara tensing up some next to me, and I suddenly knew that his senses were on par with my newly enhanced ones. _Have his senses always been this sharp and I just haven't ever known it?_

The doctor strode in, stiff and formal, and he went over my chart, standing at the foot of the bed and avoiding my gaze for a moment or two. "Miss…Ren is it? No last name?" He asked, consulting my chart.

"No."

"I see. Nurse, will you please go tell Kenpachi, that she is awake and ready for questioning?"

I tensed. "Um excuse me, I only _just_ woke up, what kind of questioning are we talking about here?"

He ignored me. I sent an anxious look at Gaara and noted how tight his jaw was. I never noticed the thin stream of sand that trickled out of the room.

After a few tense minutes a very cranky looking older man with an eyepatch and a scar on his face walked into the room. He wore the signature patch of Jonin and looked very important, having that air of confidence about him that spoke of his ability to boss people around. I would suspect that he was the head of some department, or something equally high ranked, maybe like an elite containment squad captain or something.

"She is awake?" He asked as he walked in and the doctor nodded.

"Um … Hi. I'm sitting right here." I said, just a little ticked off now.

"Indeed." He glanced at me with calculating eyes, and then looked back to the doctor. "May I see her chart?"

"Certainly sir." He handed it over without complaint.

Oh yeah, he was high up there in rank for the doctor to hand it over like that, and address him as 'sir'. Doctors didn't usually do that in their own hospital.

"Hm. Ren. No last name?" This Kenpachi guy asked, just like the doctor. I didn't know why that was such a big deal. And it was starting to really irritate me.

"No. _He_ already asked me that, by the way." I grumbled, gesturing towards the doctor.

He ignored me and continued seamlessly with his line of questioning. "Orphan?"

"Yes." I gritted my teeth.

"No family whatsoever?" He continued, in that same formal, almost condescending voice.

"None." I very nearly growled. What was the point of this?

"I see." And then he looked up and his eyes were cold and calculating. "And you are a currently active ninja?"

"Yes."

"Interesting. Well, Ren, tell me what happened." He asked, his eyes looking at me sternly, in a way I didn't appreciate.

But I grumbled, and told him what I knew, even though I didn't like him and didn't want to answer any more of his stupid questions. "Well, they carved this sealing mark into my chest with some sort of ceremonial dagger, and then they funneled something into me. It felt like chakra. I passed out, and when I woke up, I felt like I was possessed." I intently avoided Gaara's eyes, feeling them drilling into the side of my head. I flushed remembering what the thing inside me had said. Particularly to him.

"So you felt possessed when you woke up. What exactly happened?" Kenpachi continued, pressing.

"I felt furious, out of control. I killed any enemies that were still around and hadn't run away when Gaara, Kankuro, and the twins showed up."

"I see. And what happened when you saw your comrades? Did you want to kill them?" I flinched, not liking that question. I mean…I hadn't really recognized them at first, but when I did recognize them I didn't want to kill them. I got the distinct impression that I should gloss over the fact that I didn't recognize them at first.

"No, I snapped out of it and recognized them." Well, I recognized Gaara right away at least. And I hadn't wanted to kill him, just hump him into the next century. But I wasn't about to tell this guy that.

"Interesting. That's good. Then what happened?" He continued, sounding clinical and detached.

I flinched, and glanced at Gaara out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me intently, only making me more uncomfortable. "Eh, I didn't regain control of my body right away. I was still possessed by something."

"And what did you do? Did you attack them?"

 _Erp. Wonderful, just wonderful. Time to pull out some sly evasion tactics._ "Not exactly…um, I think she could…sense Shukaku, and she got curious about Gaara. She didn't attack him though."

"At what point did you regain control?"

"It wasn't until Gaara finished the sealing jutsu on my chest. They must have left something open because she was wild and crazy before that."

Kenpachi raised his eyebrow and turned to Gaara. "Is this true? You finished the sealing jutsu?"

Gaara nodded. His eyes staring the much bigger man down, and I could see that he had made Kenpachi a little uncomfortable as he shift his weight and looked away from Gaara's ice blue stare.

"I see. Very well. It seems to me that you have the potential to be very unstable and potentially quite dangerous. As someone with no family, you are technically a ward of this hospital, and thus Doctor Kenchi here can sign off on this piece of paper that declares you potentially insane and/or a danger to society. Therefore, you will be placed into an institution where we can monitor you and attempt to fix this…situation." Kenpachi finished his assessment coldly and with no empathy at all in his eyes. He was obviously simply neutralizing a threat in the easiest way possible.

I flinched. "WHAT?!" I yelped, completely and utterly shocked and appalled by what I had just been told.

As the paper was handed over to the doctor, Gaara suddenly stood. "I wouldn't do that if I were you…" he drawled, his posture and voice almost coming across as pleasant, but there was a dangerous undertone that spoke of deadly intention.

"And why not exactly? Were you planning on doing something? Gaara of the Desert?" Kenpachi asked, sounding aggressive and his body posture changed as he A-framed.

"You lack some information I'm afraid." Gaara responded, his voice lowering a note and holding a no-nonsense tone that demanded respect and attention. Despite being a good head shorter than the guy, Gaara was obviously intimidating him.

At that moment Hikaru and Kaoru burst into the room, looking a little wild-eyed. "What the hell is going on here exactly?" Hikaru barked, almost glaring at Gaara, while Kaoru's eyes went from me to the two people at the foot of my bed and then narrowed suspiciously.

 **Kaoru and Hikaru POV**

The twins had been down in the cafeteria, getting some pudding and minding their own business when out of the wild blue Kaoru nearly choked on the pudding he had just put in his mouth. "What the hell?!" He gasped and then looked down. "Holy shit!" He jumped a foot in the air and started doing what looked to be a very strange jig.

"What the…what's wrong Kaoru?" Hikaru sputtered, and then he abruptly knew, as he felt the same strange sensation of sand encircling his foot. "Oh. OH. SHIT!"

They both danced around for a second. And then the sand squeezed, once, very hard, and they both got the message and stopped. That had been a warning.

"What the hell does he want?" Kaoru whispered.

"Dunno, but he's going to have some explaining to do." Hikaru growled.

As soon as they stopped hopping around like idiots, the sand started tugging insistently. "What the…?" Hikaru grumbled. And then it jerked, nearly pulling them both off their feet.

Suddenly Kaoru had a disturbing thought. "Wait, he's up there with Ren. You don't suppose something went wrong do you?"

"Oh fuck." Hikaru hissed. And they both set off at a run, not even needing the sand anymore, arriving breathless, confused, and cranky at Ren's door, which they burst through.

 **Ren POV**

Gaara simply nodded at my questioner and Hikaru's attention shifted.

"Who are you two? This is a private room and we are in the middle of important village business. You boys shouldn't even have been allowed in here." Kenpachi hissed, very angry.

Both twins grinned Cheshire grins, an expression I had never seen before on their faces. It was confidant, aggressive, smug, amused, and above all a little evil. "You don't say?" Kaoru asked silkily.

"You do NOT have clearance to be here. Leave immediately!" Mr. Eyepatch stated harshly.

"Clearance?" Hikaru asked, his head cocking slightly to the side, that creepy grin still firmly in place.

The doctor strangely cowered and tried to say something but Kenpachi slashed his arm through the air, shutting him up.

"I'm calling security. You will both be thrown out and face serious consequences for your insubordination." He declared.

Hikaru and Kaoru just blinked, that grin getting just a little wider on both twins faces. "I see. Good luck with that." Hikaru said mildly, and they walked further into the room.

As always they worked seamlessly as a pair, Hikaru drawing the questioner's attention with, "So, who are you exactly? Some bigwig that thinks he's so high and mighty he can't be bothered with knowing everyone in the village?"

That thoroughly distracted him while Kaoru easily slid past with one of his subtle Genjutsus, one that I had seen him use often, but that still creeped me out with the ease with which he used it. He simply became invisible, or rather, unnoticeable. And that's how he easily got ahold of the paper held by Doctor Kenchi.

"I see." Kaoru growled, suddenly getting all our attention with his reappearance between the questioner and the doctor.

"What?! How did you…?! That document is classified, it is essential that you give it back to Doctor Kenchi. Otherwise I will have the two of you locked up for treason."

"I don't think so." Kaoru said, and stalked right by him, evading his grab easily and handing the paper off to Hikaru to read.

Suddenly both twins were utterly enraged, but they didn't really display the emotion obviously. The only reason I knew they were furious was because of the way their eyes looked, and the utter stillness in their bodies. They didn't do rage, and they didn't do still, so whatever it was, it was bad.

"I do believe you have been misinformed my dear Kenpachi Zaraki." Kaoru said, his voice glacial.

"What? How do you know my name?" Eyepatch asked, looking thoroughly ticked off now.

"I make it a point to know everyone in this village. It's sort of a hobby of mine." Kaoru said, mock-pleasantly. While Kenni-boy sputtered Kaoru went on to say, "For example, while you are a Jonin, and head of the Inquisitorial Squad, and technically outrank us, I also happen to know that we have a much greater influence than you do. So perhaps you had better rethink your treatment of our dear sister here."

"Wait…sister? This girl is an orphan. It's in her records."

"Ah. And that is where you are sadly wrong. She _used_ to be an orphan, but was recently adopted. By our family."

"Then why doesn't she have a last name?"

"She does, it's just not on her old record, which is what you have there. One moment please, I do believe I have a copy of her new records on hand." Kaoru drew a scroll out of his pouch, laid it out on the ground, and then summoned forth a small cabinet. He carefully sifted through what looked to be more scrolls, pulled one out, summoned a plain looking chest, sifted through more scrolls and then summoned yet another chest, this one fancy. We all watched, wide eyed.

I had no idea he had a habit of carrying around an entire fucking library with him at all times.

"Ah, here we are." He pulled out an official looking document and handed it over. "As you can plainly see, her last name is Hitachiin."

The questioner grew very silent and his eyes popped out of his head. "W-w-w-wait a minute. Hitachiin? As in the Hitachiin family?"

"Did you even bother to note the crest that was in her belongings? She was wearing it when she was admitted." Hikaru asked, exasperated.

"And I'm sure you can see why we weren't concerned about you throwing us out, since we essentially own this hospital." Kaoru pointed out.

"Well, not own, but make very generous donations to on an annual basis." Hikaru corrected.

Kenpachi twitched. "I see." He said tensely.

"So therefore, as her kin, we will sign that paper, and in the negative thank you very much. Ren is not insane, nor is she a danger to society. So you can just roll it up and shove it up your…" Hikaru started, but was cut off by Kaoru.

"Indeed. So here you are." Kaoru interjected over his brother's crude language. He rewrote the form, copied it with a special jutsu of his, and then handed it back, keeping the copy and tucking it into a cabinet. Then all the cabinets disappeared within the one scroll, which he tucked safely away again.

"Very well." Kenpachi said tightly. "I was going to wait to explain this to you under more…controlled circumstances, but given the new situation, I will simply inform you now." He looked over at me. "It appears that you have been essentially turned into a Jinchuriki, although from what we can tell there is no tailed beast inside of you, but something else. It appears to be some sort of ancient spirit. There have been documented cases of this before, of other creatures besides the nine tailed beasts that most people are aware of, being used in a similar manner. There are many ancient spirits, many large and powerful creatures out there, some of whom have been captured and used some way. Sometimes they are used as summoning creatures, but sometimes they are too powerful to control, or make a contract with. Often their chakra is tapped into somehow and then used, but more rarely they have been used in the same manner of Jinchuriki, with a human host." He finished with a sigh.

"We will monitor you for several days, and run a variety of tests on you, to make sure that _it_ is stable and in no danger of breaking free, and to try and discern more about the type of creature you now contain." The doctor pipped in.

"And after that, you will be released. At that point you will undergo some trials, to determine whether you are a potential danger to the village. Your fate will be determined at that point." Eyepatch ended.

And so, I stayed in the hospital several days. They closely monitored me, and did various rather unpleasant tests. Poking me with needles, scanning me with machines, giving me nasty tasting medicine, and through it all Gaara, Hikaru, and Kaoru closely watched everything, making sure they weren't doing anything unnecessary or overly dangerous. The jutsu held stable and after a good several days they released me, with the vague information that the creature inside of me was apparently feline in nature. I could have told them that.

Gaara had left that morning, called away on some business, so it was just Kaoru, Hikaru, and I that gathered up all my belongings. I hadn't really interacted with Gaara all that much, too embarrassed by what my alter ego had exposed about me wanting him. And frankly I had been too busy fighting off nurses who wanted to draw blood, or take a pee sample, or even at one point a bone marrow sample. Thankfully all three of the guys guarding me had said no to that, and so they had taken away the evil looking, foot-long needle.

The twins escorted me to my apartment, and then allowed me some time by myself and went off to do who-knows-what, although I suspected they hung around in the vicinity, just in case I needed help. Once home, I took a shower, feeling violated, by both the cat-creature being shoved inside of me without my permission, and by the doctors and nurses poking and prodding me like some sort of experiment. The scalding hot water felt fantastic and I sighed as I scrubbed myself vigorously, washing off all that nasty hospital smell.

Once out of the shower, I looked in the mirror and saw the seal on my chest for the first time. It was actually kind of fascinating to look at, a red sort of spirally knot at the center of my chest, right between my breasts. Then on top of that were two thin blue lines crossing through the center, in the shape of an X. The ends of these lines concluded at the four sides of a diamond, also drawn with that same blue line. The red spiral was centered perfectly within this blue diamond. The upper point of the diamond ended about an inch below the center of my collarbone, and the bottom pointed ended at the center of my sternum right below my breasts. Thankfully it was a narrow diamond, because the side points only trespassed a bit onto my breasts. The blue lines were made of tiny intricate symbols, all connected, and looking like they were right off of Shukaku's pelt.

When I looked closer I could see a bruise that looked suspiciously like Gaara's hands at the center of my sternum. He hadn't been particularly gentle when shoving me down to the ground. I didn't know why that made me smile. Perhaps, it was just the knowledge that he had helped me, even if he had had to fight me to get the job done.

I sighed and took out some bandages to wrap my wrists. They were still pretty damn sore, and looked like a mess. They had been mostly healed, and now they just had ugly looking scabs that cracked and were very unpleasant, itchy, and tender.

After I had bandaged my healing wounds, dressed, and had a little something to eat, I didn't feel like resting, having stayed in bed for the past few days, so I decided to go check on Temari. I had been told that she had been released from the hospital before me and was at home resting. Kankuro had told me, during one of his visits that she had wanted to come and see me, but that the seal had taken a worse toll on her than on me. The doctors had been able to remove it from her, but it had been a long, painstaking process and had left her weakened, the seal having eaten a good amount of her chakra trying to stabilize itself. Apparently the sealing jutsu they had used was incredibly finicky, very few people could handle it and have it be remain stable. I would bet that I had Gaara to thank for my continued success in that area.

So I left my apartment and went to the sand sibling house, wanting to check on Temari. When I got there, I realized that maybe it hadn't been the best of ideas. In the hospital, the intense smell of hospital, sanitation, alcohol, blood, illness, medicine, and such had overwhelmed his smell. Here, in his house, his scent was everywhere and I could feel that damn cat stirring in my mind, woken by the tantalizing smell.

I did my best to ignore it, going to Temari's room anyway. I knocked on her door and was greeted with, "Come in. If you dare." I snorted and opened the door, walking in. She smiled when she saw me.

"Hey there, so why wouldn't I dare?" I asked, as I closed the door behind me and walked inside her room, stopping by her bed. She looked very pale, worryingly so.

She snorted. "Oh, I can't imagine. After all I'm the sweetest, most wonderful person when I'm bed-ridden and can't get up to go train or go on missions. I just _love_ having nothing to do. Sitting around on my butt all day is absolutely fantastic!"

I paused and then started to laugh, having to bend over and brace myself on my knees. "Oh yeah…I dunno…you're such a couch potato Temari…no wonder you are having so much fun." I managed to wheeze between laughs. Eventually I got myself under control and grinned at her. She grinned back fondly.

I sighed. "But seriously, how's it going?"

"Oh you know, just spiffy!" She chirped sarcastically. I chuckled.

We talked for a while, but I slowly started losing concentration on the conversation, beginning to space out. A good portion of my brain was dedicated to controlling the stupid cat, and to ignoring Gaara's scent, and it was starting to distract me and make me cranky.

Eventually I had to leave, the irritation getting to the point where I actually started feeling that violent urge rising up inside me. I was seriously disturbed by how easily I got angry, and how affected I was by Gaara's scent, to make me that way. It did not bode well for me, that all it took for me to get semi-homicidal was standing in a room full of Gaara's scent for more than ten minutes.

It wasn't that his scent made me angry. It was my reaction to the scent that made me angry.

Being exposed to his scent was like eating something really, really spicy. It was like that burning sensation that you get on your tongue, when you immediately need a glass of water to put the fire out. Except, that sensation was all over my body, my skin feeling unbearably hot and prickly, almost painfully so, almost burning. And after that got to me enough, my muscles tensed up like my body wanted to pounce, _on him I guess…what a disturbing thought…_ and my stomach clenched. Then I got all sweaty, and my breathing increased, along with my pulse, until my breath and my heartbeat were all I could hear. And all of that wasn't nearly as bad as the stupid… _throbbing_ that started up low, inside of me, accompanied by an uncomfortable, nasty, sticky, wet, sensation that really made me feel the need to change out my underwear.

It was all uncomfortable and unpleasant, and simply got worse the longer I smelled him.

All of that pissed me off. What made it even worse were the random, stupid, uncomfortable, disturbing thoughts that started bouncing around my skull. Little glimpses of scenes that I almost suspected the cat had something to do with. They were all these strange pictures of Gaara, and doing things that I certainly never had done before, and had never even thought about doing … and still refused to think about despite the random glimpses. As soon as something popped up I mercilessly smacked it back down, hopefully before it really had enough time to materialize into a fully detailed, technicolor picture. It was like a strange, disturbing version of whack-a-mole in my head. But what I really wanted was to play whack-a-cat.

As I walked back to my apartment, I directed my thoughts inward, ignoring the still disturbing things pinging around, searching for her. I felt a distinctly fuzzy presence way back in the furthest corner of my mind.

I snarled at her mentally. _What the fuck was that? Were those your images that started bouncing around in my head?_

I had the impression of glowing slitted blue eyes with strange red pupils regarding me with a haughty expression as she paused in her grooming. _**What thoughts? Oh you mean the perverted things that you wanted to do to that cute red-head? Nope, that was all you. They were much too vague for my taste, too vanilla. You aren't very imaginative kitten.**_

I groaned and face-palmed, wondering if I should believe her. But then again, there wasn't any real reason for her to be lying. I sighed, resigned to not really knowing.

I returned home and ate some more, settling in for the night.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Holidays! And Happy anything else you celebrate at this time of year.

First of all, sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out, I've been rushing around getting ready for the holidays and time got away from me.

So, I hope this helped answer some of your questions. No she is not the jinchuuriki for the 2-tails. This is a creature of my own design, loosely based off my own cat.

Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. :3


	54. Burn With Me: Chapter 21

The next day I was roused by a knock on my door. I groaned and stretched, not liking being woken up. My displeasure at being woken up was much stronger than I had ever experienced before, apparently the cat-like laziness of my new head renter rubbing off on me. Yet another reason to not appreciate my new situation.

The person knocked again, probably relatively softly, but to my newly enhanced senses it sounded like banging. I hissed, a growl working its way up my throat, the new weird sensation of vibrating throat muscles I didn't know I had creeping me out a little. I stalked over to the door, ignoring the fact that I was in my sleep clothes, which consisted of a ratty old t-shirt and my underwear, and yanked the door open, openly snarling at the intruder.

The poor guy standing there staggered back, wide eyed and stammering a little, obviously not expecting such an angry response. And probably not expecting the semi-nudity either. His response was such that I felt a little sorry for him and tamed my response a tad, forcing my aggressiveness down a bit.

"Yes?" It still came out a bit roughly, but thankfully didn't sound like I wanted to kill the messenger.

"Um…uh…you have been summoned to training ground B for an evaluation at nine o'clock." I glanced over my shoulder at the clock, 8:30.

"Fuck that." I muttered, closing the door on the guys shocked expression.

I really didn't want to go, but that would probably result in an automatic fail, and I didn't really want to know what would happen to me if I failed this test. Probably incarceration or something, until I could prove that I wasn't a danger to the village. I would really have to control my temper to pass this test, and it frightened me immensely that I seemed to be incapable of doing so.

I quickly ate breakfast, got dressed, and ran to the field, trying to burn off some of the aggression in my system with pure physical exertion. It worked to a certain extent, and I felt a little more in control of myself when I got there. At least until I smelled a certain person.

"Damn it…Fuck…" I hissed, immediately skidding to a halt a good 20 feet from Gaara.

Baki was also there, standing stiffly. So were Temari, Kankuro and the twins, all looking highly uncomfortable. I approached cautiously, working on breathing solely through my mouth so as to get less scent.

"Hi." I tried to act casually.

"You're late." Baki immediately said, and I felt my hackles rise, but I forcefully pushed them back down.

"Sorry." I said in a tightly controlled voice, not about to let myself get out of hand already.

His eyebrow quirked and I immediately knew that he was trying to rile me up, trying to see how much it would take to make me lose my cool. Unfortunately, it didn't take much.

He cleared his throat, "The council is concerned about this new development and has ordered that you be assessed, to determine the danger level, if any, that you now pose to the village. Do you agree to participate in this test willingly?"

"Yes." I responded, wondering what the hell would happen if I said no, out of idle curiosity.

"Good. All of your comrades have been assigned with testing you. You will be judged by the council members you can see over there, as well as several of the elders. There will be several tests. If you fail a test I will put an end to it and you will not continue, immediately failing the entire assessment. In this case, failing means losing control of yourself and posing a serious health risk to either one of us, or anyone present on the field. Your overall passing of the test will be determined by the judges, so long as you don't fail."

I glanced in the direction he nodded and noticed that a good handful of the council appeared to be present and accounted for. I recognized one of the village elders. She was Hikaru's and Kaoru's grandmother, a woman who I greatly respected. I hoped that I wouldn't let her down. She sent me a reassuring glance.

I inhaled, more determined than ever to not fail as I turned back to Baki. Of course inhaling wasn't a good idea, because my senses were immediately on Gaara overload, but I did my very best to suppress it all.

"And what happens if I fail?" I asked, a bit of trepidation sneaking into my voice.

"I don't know. But I suspect you will be locked up. Or possibly disposed of. In any event, it is not something you want to happen."

"Damn."

After a moments pause in which we all absorbed that information, Baki continued. "Very well. We shall begin. Your first test starts now. I will be your first opponent."

Gaara, Tamari, Kankuro, and the twins stepped away and I nodded, focusing all my attention on Baki. He didn't attack though, simply standing there and staring at me. After a moment he began to speak, which I certainly didn't expect. _Well. Okay then._

"I don't believe that you should continue to be a ninja. What happened has turned you into an abomination. Perhaps you should be put down, or at least locked up. This whole situation is ridiculous. I don't even see the point of this test. You will most certainly fail." And on and on.

I gritted my teeth. After the shock of first hearing his words, I felt rage, enough of it that I knew immediately I was in danger of hurting him. Even so, I quickly caught on that this was part of the test, to see if I would lose my composure at simple insults.

Even knowing that he probably didn't believe any of the things he was saying, I found it incredibly difficult to contain myself. It hurt to hear the things he was saying, and hurt turned to anger. But even so, I knew it was imperative that I simply endure without response, and so I clenched my teeth and fists, locking my body down. I tensed every muscle, forcibly holding myself in place as I fought with the nasty temper tantrum that threatened to explode.

I took some deep even breaths, calming myself through sheer force of will. It took a lot of effort to hold myself in place and not bust a move, but I knew that this was simply an order from above, and I would never forgive myself for killing my team leader for simply doing his job. I forced myself to focus on that and take deep breaths and tune out his words, and after a good twenty minute or so of him rambling it ended.

I sighed and relaxed a little, my entire body trembling lightly as I unclenched. All my muscles were spasming a little, but I did my best to hide it, not wanting the judges to see how difficult it was to keep myself from attacking.

Baki looked relieved. Apparently he knew me well enough to know that I had been too close to killing him, but I doubted he would rat me out. If anything he looked proud of me. "End of test one. You pass. The next test will be administered by Kankuro. Good luck." He stepped off the field and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Kankuro stepped onto the field, carrying a basket and looking extremely uncomfortable and anxious. "Yo. I'm gonna be doing the next test, and uh…it ain't gonna be fun, just to warn you. If you can, I'd like to leave this experience in one piece if at all possible. So, uh, try not to kill me all right?"

I snorted, both amused and terrified by the disclaimer. "Sure…."

"Okay then…well, here are the rules. I'm supposed to throw stuff at you and you're supposed to … well… just stand there and take it I guess. Any questions?"

"So I'm not supposed to dodge?" I asked incredulously.

Were they _trying_ to make me kill someone? Yes, yes they were. Of course. This was the council that's repeatedly tried to kill Gaara after all. I took a deep breath and tried very hard to not get angry _already_ , knowing it was going to be a struggle as it was.

"Um…" He glanced over at Baki, who said something to a council member, who shook his head, which made him make a nasty face. He turned back to us and shook his head, which made Kankuro make a similarly nasty face.

"Damn…no I guess not. Those assholes. I hope they didn't put anything sharp in here…" He muttered as he looked down at the sizeable basket at his feet.

It came up to above his knees. He turned back to Baki. "And I'm supposed to empty this? Seriously?" Baki nodded gravely. Kankuro cursed and heaved a great sigh. "Alright, well, I guess we better get this over with. You ready?"

"No. But go ahead."

"Alright then. Heads up."

He reached into the basket, and pulled out a bag, opening it. It was full of water balloons. "Wow…how mature…" He muttered under his breath. I snickered, relaxing a little, grateful for Kankuro's sense of humor.

He hefted one in his hand and gave me a warning look before tossing it at me. He had good aim and smacked me right in the face. I sputtered and then sneezed, some of the water having gone up my nose. Surprisingly the water didn't seem to bug my cat, which was a good thing. I had been a little worried when I had seen the water balloons. Although having stuff thrown at me in general wasn't exactly fun.

Kankuro snorted, giving me a second to finish getting the water out of my sinuses before he tossed the next one. It wasn't all that bad, aside from the embarrassment of having to stand and get pelted with water balloons, the water was actually refreshing. It helped that water balloons were something that were supposed to be thrown at people as a game, I assumed that it would get much harder as the test progressed.

After that bag was done I was left pretty much soaked. I sighed and shook my head, spraying water everywhere.

"Okay, that's bag number one, let's see what's in bag number two. How many bags are in here anyway?" Kankuro asked peering into the basket to try and answer his own question. He shrugged and pulled out the second bag, opening it up to look inside. "Okay. This is a waste of good fruit." He said, pulling out an apple.

He was right. Fruit was pretty scarce around here after all. Why the council would see fit to waste it in such a spectacular manner I couldn't figure out. Perhaps someone on the council had come up with some anti-apple harebrained campaign. You never knew what those numskulls would do.

"Well, this probably isn't gonna be as much fun as the last one. You ready?" Kankuro asked, tossing an apple in his hand. I nodded, and watched as the fruit left his hand. It hit me in the shoulder. It was definitely unpleasant, the fruit pretty stiff and having a good whack to it. It would leave a few decent bruises I was sure.

Kankuro gave me a look to see if I was ready. I really just wanted to get this over with. "Come on Kankuro, you throw like a sissy."

He snorted. "Alright then. Let's do this."

He started pelting me with apples. The sound they made when they hit was rather interesting I noted, in an attempt to distract myself. The apple made a sort of subtle crunchy sound on impact, the flesh of the apple being compacted. Of course that was aside from the thump the semi-solid fruit made. And then if it hit me on my torso it made a kind of strange hollow sound. Kankuro did try not to hit me too hard on the softest parts of my body, avoiding my stomach as much as possible and avoiding my head entirely.

Even so, it hurt.

The dull thuds gradually added up to a subtle throb in the many bruises I was accumulating. But it wasn't as bad as a lot of the pain I had experienced before, certainly not as bad as that damn sealing ritual that had happened only a few days ago. So that put everything into perspective.

But it still pissed me off, the pain making it harder to stay still and take it. I breathed deeply and evenly, forcing myself to focus on other things until the bag was empty. Thankfully it didn't take too long, Kankuro getting the hint and hurrying it up.

"Okay…well that was fun…" He muttered dropping the empty sack on the ground and glaring at the basket. "I guess we'd better do the next one. Seriously how many bags are in here?"

He brought out the next one and immediately flinched. "Oh, gross! What the hell is in this thing?!" He held it by one corner, and I could smell the scent of rotten fruits and veggies in there from over here. This was going to be incredibly unpleasant. He gingerly opened the bag and peered in, gagging violently. "Holy crap, you have got to be kidding me. These guys are sadistic!"

Baki walked up to us, looking very displeased. "Here, they gave me these to give to you Kankuro." He held out a pair of work gloves.

Kankuro glared at them, not making any move to take them. "No way. If she's gotta get this shit thrown at her, the least I can do is get it on my hands when I throw it."

Baki nodded and took the gloves back with him.

Kankuro swallowed and grimaced, pulling out a rotten tomato. "Okay, this is seriously disgusting. I kind of want to toss a few of these over there so they can smell it." He growled, looking utterly disgusted.

I swallowed, wondering if my enhanced senses would be able to handle this amount of stink. It was pretty overpowering from several feet away already. Actually it was already making me a little sick to my stomach.

"Just get it over with." I sighed, trying very hard not to think about it.

He nodded and hefted the squishy red ball, tossing it at me. I flinched when it hit, really trying hard not to pay too much attention to the way it smushed and spattered. It smelled awful, worse than I had thought it would. Just the one vegetable, and I felt like I might lose my lunch. On the upside, the nausea helped to keep the homicidal tendencies at bay.

Kankuro wanted to get through this one as quickly as I did, so he really sped-threw this time, barely grabbing them before they were launched. On the one hand, this made it all go much faster, which meant that it would be over sooner. On the other hand, it was pretty overwhelming, the stench growing so powerful in such a short amount of time, that it was impossible to assimilate in my brain, my senses getting all whacky.

My senses were so acute now that the smell was giving me physical complications, my stomach cramping so badly that I really had to concentrate on not vomiting or passing out. The pain in my stomach was such that eventually I had to wrap my arms around it and bend forwards a tad, just to try and get it to ease up. Kankuro stalled at my hunched position, and that wasn't good.

"Don't mind me, just trying not to lose my lunch. Just get it over with please." I managed to choke, sounding absolutely awful, my voice all kinds of strangled.

And then there was the inherent humiliation that went along with this one, the whole ' _getting rotten shit thrown at you_ ' thing was usually reserved to go along with booing and insults. That part did start to really get to me, perhaps even as much as the physical problems.

The whole thing was so incredibly terrible that I immediately found myself starting to zone out, and that was dangerous. I couldn't let myself go on autopilot, because I instinctively knew that that would involve some protective instincts kicking in, which would mean that I would automatically put a stop to the proceedings.

Probably in a highly violent manner.

I already felt very violent at the moment, the physical discomfort plus the volatile emotions did not make a good combination, and I seriously began to want to rip something to shreds. The only way I could stop myself from doing it right then and there was by vividly imagining myself ripping a dummy apart, promising myself that I would immediately go and do some damage to a tree or some training dummies as soon as this was over.

I straitened from my hunched position, it didn't help the pain in my stomach anyways. Instead, I clenched all my muscles again. As I grew more and more unstable I could practically feel the air begin to vibrate around my body, and the rotten food started to go off in wonky directions as it hit the torrential air.

I closed my eyes. I could feel something in me shifting, becoming dangerous, my eyes getting a little hot and itchy. I could feel my senses sharpening, which wasn't a good thing. It just made the smell even worse. My hearing sharpened, I could hear Kankuro panting and grunting as he quickly heaved the shit my way. He was doing it as fast as possible. I felt a rumble start up in my chest and was powerless to stop it, but did try to keep it to a low volume sound.

Thankfully it ended soon after. "All right, that's the last bit. Uh…how bout you go wash off real quick before we continue. I'll tell them that I told you to, that I couldn't handle the smell or something." Kankuro muttered, sounding utterly disgusted.

I nodded, and slowly walked off the field, slitting my eyes just a little. Something told me that I shouldn't look at anyone directly. I had seen Gaara's eyes change before, and I had this weird suspicion that my eyes looked different now too. As soon as I was out of sight of the council members, who I could still hear protesting while Kankuro held firm and told them I would be right back, I broke into a run, darting into the women's restroom right off the training grounds.

Thankfully it had a shower and I quickly stripped and leapt in the stall. I washed thoroughly and then washed my clothes. I dried both me and my clothes off with a very brisk wind, pausing for a second to look at my reflection in the mirror.

My eyes were a disturbing shade of bright blue, almost glowing, and the pupil was red and definitely glowing. I flinched and waited for a minute, the strange color already fading when I had first looked in the mirror. Finally, when my eyes looked mostly normal I hustled back onto the field, smelling much better and mostly recovered. That had been too close. I really hoped that that was the last of this test, but probably not.

I walked back on the field, retaking my place in front of Kankuro.

He sighed and reached into the basket, pulling out another bag. "Well it looks like this is the last one, finally. Shit it's heavy. What do they have in here, rocks?" He opened the bag and looked inside. "Fuck, I can't believe it's actually rocks. What? They want me to stone you to death or something? I mean come on!" He hefted one in his palm. "And they're pointy too! Not even smooth rocks! What the hell is wrong with these people?!" He scowled. He stomped off field and got into a heated argument with Baki. After a long time he finally came back, looking defeated. "Sorry Ren, but apparently I've gotta do this, otherwise they're threatening to fail you and lock you up or something. Shit, this sucks."

He heaved a sigh and I nodded, understanding that he didn't want to do this anymore than I did. "Go ahead, let's just finish this up. You said this was the last bag right?"

"Yeah." He sighed, grimacing. And then he threw the first rock. He didn't throw it particularly hard, just enough that he made contact. It still hurt. They were much harder than the apples and quite a bit sharper too. I growled, the pain sparking the violent urges again. But I simply stood there, accepting the rocks as they bounced off me. I tried not to respond in any way, knowing that every time I did, it made Kankuro feel awful.

After a while I closed my eyes, just trying to go to my happy place. Not that I really had one, but making the necessary effort.

He was very careful not throwing them hard, not hitting me in the face or on my torso, so I was startled when, after a short period of time and after the sound of someone walking up and saying something, which I ignored since I was trying to stay in the little bit of meditation I had managed, a rock hit me on my cheek. _Hard_. Hard enough that I felt the skin break and blood drip down my cheek. I jerked and a noise between a yelp and a snarl came out of my throat. It took everything I had in me not to take a step back out of shock.

That one had _hurt._ When I opened my eyes I saw that Baki had replaced Kankuro. I guessed that the council wasn't satisfied with Kankuro's gentle tosses and wanted some violence to really push my limits. The only reason why he would go along with it, beside the fact that he was a stickler for rules and always followed orders, was that they had probably threatened to do something horrible to me.

There was some sort of commotion off-field, but I ignored it, a little too busy being stoned to pay attention to stuff outside of the rocks being thrown at me. I barely had time to recover before the next one hit. This one was pretty big and hit my shoulder hard enough that I heard a worrisome crack. That probably wasn't good. Plus it hurt like a bitch. I hissed and widened my stance, almost having been unbalanced by the force of the impact. I was glad I had worn my chest plate, but I wish I had something to guard my organs.

When the next one hit my stomach with a loud hollow thud, the impact sent me to my knees, the wind immediately gone from my lung. It hit too low to have knocked the breath out of me, so my air had been stolen simply from the shock of pain. There was something to be said about blunt force trauma, when it hit the right spot it really, _really_ hurt.

"Get up." Baki said. I was very tempted to just tell him to go to hell.

Kankuro was standing there, pestering him with noisy protests. I didn't pay attention to what he was saying, but I could imagine, based on the really angry sound of his voice and the incredibly loud volume.

I stood, this time locking my knees and ready. They said I couldn't dodge, but that didn't mean I couldn't block. I would take the hit, but on my arm. The next one I subtly blocked, it still hurt and I could feel it cut the skin above my forearm guard. Knowing that they would have something to say about that, I went ahead and took off my arm guards.

I didn't let the stones hit me again in my stomach, or my head, not willing to get internal bleeding or brain trauma from this stupid test. Baki didn't say anything. By the end of it my arms were pretty beat up, and they were already in bad shape, considering I hadn't finished healing my wrists from those damned chains. The pain made my mind fuzzy, and it took every last ounce of will power and sanity to keep myself from killing Baki. Even Kankuro was in some danger, even though he wasn't the one throwing the stones, he was still in the danger zone.

I felt my eyes get all weird and prickly again, but I left them open, not really giving a fuck anymore. I was feeling aggressive enough that if those council members dared to try and lock me up they would be in big trouble. I snarled, catching the last stone with my hand. One of the many little bones in my hand snapped with an audible sound and sent a shard of pain up my arm. _Well that broke. Damn._ Actually, I was pretty sure I had a few mild fractures in various places. I used a burst of chakra to crush the stone in my hand to dust, the violence helping me to calm just a little. Baki subtly flinched and took a step back.

Thankfully though, that test ended without me killing anyone, and both Kankuro and Baki speedily retreated, knowing that the sooner they got out of my space the better. I took the few minutes of alone time to calm myself, taking deep breaths once again, the pain thrumming through my body making it difficult.

Hikaru and Kaoru bounded onto the field, quickly pouncing on me and assessing my injuries. Both of them had some medical Ninjutsu so they corrected all the little kinks and cracks easily enough, fussing over me and cussing the council out under their breath the entire time. After I was all hunky dory again, they stepped away.

"Well, we're your next test. We're supposed to test whether or not physical contact and crowding sets you off. So essentially we'll be patting and pulling and poking you all over and crowding you from both sides."

"OH great…sounds like fun." I said sarcastically, already able to tell that I would hate it. I wasn't particularly fond of physical contact before this, so this was definitely going to be a challenge. Not to mention, there was something very embarrassing about being watched during this test. It would be uncomfortable enough without an audience, but with one it would be downright intolerable.

I really hoped I didn't unintentionally smack one of my brothers across the field or something.

"All righty then!" Hikaru jumped in.

"If it gets too much I'll give you a signal, and you'll need to back off just a little, otherwise I really am worried that I might hurt you guys. I don't know my own strength right now." I muttered, too low for anyone but them to ever have a chance of hearing me. They both nodded imperceptibly. Being so close to me I had to give them a warning, otherwise I really could hurt them unintentionally.

They started out easily enough. Hikaru trotted right up and poked me on the nose with his finger. I twitched and snorted, amused. Normally it wouldn't have bothered me at all, but even that tiny touch caused a little spark of irritation low in my gut. Even so, I ignored it, choosing instead to embrace my amusement and watched the silly faces he was making to lighten the tense mood.

Kaoru came up behind me and gave me a noogie, gently though. I rolled my eyes. Hikaru then pinched and poked both of my cheeks, which was ridiculous. I was just glad it was them; otherwise I might have already been in trouble. It was only my comfort with them that helped keep the budding irritation at bay.

Kaoru then took it upon himself to utterly mess up my hair, stroking it completely against the grain, which felt horrible and set my teeth on edge. A low level growl started up in my chest and he quit it, but not so abruptly that anyone would think he was reacting to me, but had instead chosen of his own accord to start threading his fingers gently through my hair and lightly tugging. That actually felt pretty good.

I sighed and the growl stopped, the tension easing a little from my shoulders. That particular touch actually helped me to relax quite a bit surprisingly. Perhaps it was a cat thing. Kaoru noticed though, and I'm sure he took note. He stopped soon after and reached down to grab one hand, Hikaru grabbing the other, and they twirled me around in a circle between the two of them. Really it wasn't particularly different to their regular shenanigans. I did note though, that their regular shenanigans bugged me more than they used to, little firecrackers of irritation popping and zipping around every now and then inside my chest. But mostly I was able to suppress it.

After a minute they stopped and I tilted, slightly dizzy. They both took a hand on either side of me and messed with them, wiggling my fingers, poking my palms, tugging on my fingers and squeezing them lightly, then squeezing my whole hand. Over all it was pretty annoying, but I didn't have the desire to kill them or anything. I just sighed and put up with it.

Then their hands moved up my arms, Hikaru staying at my shoulders from the front and Kaoru going back behind me to fiddle with my pony tail. The pony tail thing didn't really bother me. But Hikaru's hands on my shoulders did a little. He ran his fingers lightly along my collarbones, which just felt really fucking weird, sort of ticklish. Plus I simply wasn't comfortable with him touching me there. I subtly shrugged my shoulders and he shifted, moving to rub my shoulders like a massage instead. That, I actually liked and felt comfortable with, so I relaxed. He stuck around there for a while.

So far it had been pretty tame, and I wondered if they really thought I was volatile enough to tear my brothers in half just for touching me, or if maybe they were just a bunch of perverts who got off on being voyeurs. Of course that meant that they thought this was sexy, which was a very disturbing thought. I decided I didn't want to go there, so I thought about other things instead.

It definitely got my attention when Kaoru worked his way up my ponytail and started rubbing my neck. That felt pretty damn good actually, and then when he lightly ran his fingers up and down my neck, lightly scratching, a strange sound popped up in my throat, almost like a growl. I was surprised and cleared my throat, not really sure about that weird sound. Kaoru wasn't sure either so he moved on. Hikaru moved from my shoulders down, thankfully skipping over my chest, that would have been too weird, and started messing with my stomach. I did not like that. He poked me and prodded, and I tried very hard not to get irritated. I could feel a feline sense of crankiness growing in me as they intentionally did things that would bug cats. Like the stomach thing.

Meanwhile Kaoru worked his way from the back of my neck and reached a hand around to the front of my neck, which was a little awkward but whatever. When he put his palm on my neck, immediately my hackles raised, all sorts of weird red flags and instincts going off in my head, and I very nearly bit his hand off, only just able to stop myself, but he felt the little jerk and heard the click of my teeth. Thankfully he immediately shifted his hand. He started poking and prodding my chin and jawline, again still reaching around from the back to do it, which was such a stupid position really. Then again he was probably too lazy to move, plus his twin was there. And having his arm over my shoulder like that did certainly crowd me, which was a component of this exercise. I suppose he was trying to do awkward stuff on purpose.

The chin thing didn't bother me as much as the stomach thing that Hikaru was still doing, going from poking and prodding to rubbing and tickling. It turns out that I wasn't ticklish, but it definitely pissed me off. He moved on to my legs when it seemed like I was getting too pissed off, for which I was very grateful. Meanwhile Kaoru was still messing with my chin and jaw and jokingly stroked a few fingers under my chin and jaw, like you would do to a cat.

The sensation surprised the heck out of me, a shock of pleasure going through my system. I really liked that. I think we were all shocked when that sound popped up again, and again at first I thought it was some random growl, but it was softer and rolled in my throat more consistently. I think I was the first person to realize it was a purr, and the idea was so preposterous and humiliating that I immediately jerked back, not comfortable with the idea.

Thankfully Kaoru didn't push the envelope. He moved to my back and poked and prodded my back. Over all it was pretty pointless. Yes there were a few times I had gotten pissed off, but I hadn't wanted to kill them or anything.

After a minute, Hikaru stood up from poking my legs and they both stepped closer, definitely crowding me. I had been participant to a twin sandwich before, them smooshing me between the two of them. But this was in very different setting, being watched made everything a hundred times more awkward, and then there was the fact that I simply wasn't comfortable with that much personal space invasion at the moment, not after being so pissed off, and the humiliation, and being hurt, and poked and prodded for everyone to see. And the cat wasn't a fan either, she definitely got all ruffled and started hissing in my mind when they pressed closer and closer. I started to feel claustrophobic.

Then it got much worse as Kaoru performed his clone jutsu, and suddenly I was surrounded by ginger haired twins,

I knew the twins could sense my irritation and discomfort ramp up and they slowed down, not pushing me too far right away, but apparently they had some sort of minimum requirement, because they definitely kept at it, smooshing me between the ten or so of them and jostling me back and forth between them, shuffling this way and that to make everything uncomfortable and disjointed. Some of them were even hopping and swaying from side to side and all sorts of weird nonsense.

I could only put up with it for so long before I felt that prickling sensation, the claustrophobia getting pretty bad. I could feel my eyes shift and felt Hikaru, who was right in front of me, tense a little.

"Hold on Ren, just a little longer, almost over." One of them murmured in my ear and I swallowed the rising growl, nodded and took deep breaths, trying very hard not to get too upset. Some buzzer went off in one of their pockets and they sighed with relief as they stepped away from me. They had felt how tense I was, and knew I was a hairsbreadth away from smacking the all of them into left field.

That only left Temari and Gaara.

I could only imagine what they had in store for me. They were really putting me through my paces, trying everything imaginable to try and get me to lose it. So far I was impressed that I had managed to not kill anybody, having come dangerously close already a couple of times.

After the twins both apologized and left the field Temari joined me, looking like she had been dragged out of bed. She still looked pretty pale and I hoped they hadn't given her anything too difficult to do.

"Hey there. I'm going to give you a number of objects and you're going to tell me something about each one. They want to test you on whether your senses have gotten any better. If I were you, I might lie." She whispered the last bit and I nodded subtly.

First she handed me a cloth. "Tell me who this belongs to."

I didn't even have to put my head down to know that it was the furthest most council member on the left. But technically I didn't know their name, so it wasn't lying when I shrugged and said I didn't know who it belonged to.

"You're supposed to smell it." She said, just a tad crankily.

I did so, putting my nose in it and huffing loudly. Again I said no.

She handed me another cloth, sighing and said, "Same thing."

I sniffed the cloth, once again putting it to my face. I knew this one belonged to the fruit vendor on the street on the way here, but again I didn't know their name so I shrugged.

"One more." She gave me one more cloth.

This one belonged to Gaara, and all sorts of things happened really fast. My eyes felt prickly, my sense of smell increased, my muscles tightened, and all the other things that always happened, happened. And it seemed to be even worse, since I was already all kinds of funked out and riled up. I hissed and slammed my eyes closed, not paying any attention to Temari as I focused on not doing something stupid. I wasn't sure what that something might be, but I knew it wouldn't be good. Like, immediately tracking his scent to his current location, or something stupid like that.

There was no way I could possibly pretend that I didn't know who this belonged to, but then again I could have recognized his scent even before this whole incident.

I opened my mouth, refusing to breathe through my nose as I opened my eyes, taking in Temari's slightly shocked expression. "What? Does he stink that bad?" She asked, almost laughing.

I glared at her, resisting the impulse to smack her, knowing that under the current circumstances it would be a really bad idea. "No." I practically snarled, the sound of my own voice very strange.

She blinked, looking shocked yet again and utterly confused. I got the feeling that she would be interrogating me about this later. I faked sniffing the cloth for the elders. "It's Gaara's, but I could have told you that even before this happened." I growled. And she took the cloth away.

I sighed. Next, she brought out some spices and other things. She had me smell them. Some of them were way too strong and made me either dizzy or have a head ache or get incredibly nauseous. But I put up with it all. "How does this determine whether I'm a threat to the village?" I complained with a hand to my head.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I think they just want to test you to see if you've changed physically. Or something like that. You know they're crazy. Maybe they just want to piss you off with sensory information, I mean damn this shit is smelly." She grimaced as she sniffed the super strong smelling garlic clove she held in her hand and grumbled about how she'd smell like a damn herbal shop for a month.

Next, she had me listen to a bunch of sounds. A lot of them gave me a headache, especially the high-pitched ones. As we crept higher and higher and louder and louder the pain in my head began to get unbearable. Temari had the comfort of putting her hands over her ears, but I did not, and she resisted the impulse, only slapping her hands up for a brief second before removing them. Like Kankuro, she was determined to suffer alongside me. After a while, I felt something warm and wet trickle down the side of my face from my ear and I had the disturbing realization that my ears were bleeding. Temari saw it and winced, looking horrified. We immediately stopped that and moved on to the next thing.

There was a vision test, and then there was a strength test with weights. I flubbed them both a little, not wanting to show my full strength or sight, though really they hadn't changed all that much. The only things that had been really enhanced were my sense of smell and sound. I had realized earlier, during this whole testing shit, that my eyesight changed when my eyes got prickly, and then they got super sharp, but bright light hurt them a lot and I got the sense that they were meant for dimmer light. But outside of that they weren't any different than they used to be. Over all, the most annoying thing proved to be that damning sense of smell. Perhaps I would get used to it eventually.

The vision test was a bitch though, Temari had to point different kinds of light in my eyes, different colors, and even flashing lights. They kept getting brighter and brighter, and my eyes burned, my entire head felt like it was going to split apart by the end of it. I stayed mostly stoic through the whole thing, just gritting my teeth and enduring the pain. But I couldn't help the ways my eyes watered and tears started streaking my cheeks, that was just a reaction to the localized pain. I could tell that Temari hated doing it, and I knew this was as much torture for her as it was for me. By the time that was done I was practically blind, and couldn't see for a good ten minutes or so afterwards, though I did my best to fake it.

Eventually that was over with and all that was left was Gaara, which I was dreading. Thankfully my vision had come back by then. As he walked onto the field I opened my mouth and tried not to breathe through my nose. I still picked up some of his scent but it was dulled considerably.

He stood and crossed his arms. "The final test will be combat." He said in his monotone voice, sounding supremely disinterested in the whole thing.

I groaned, not really feeling up to the ordeal of combat, particularly when my cat wanted to jump his bones. I might end up making a fool of myself in front of the whole council, and both of our siblings. That and I was still incredibly sore, Hikaru and Kaoru only having fixed my cracked bones, not having time to really patch up the multitude of bruises peppering my skin. But there wasn't anything to do about it, so I simply would have to deal.

I sighed and took a stance. Gaara nodded and took his stance, arms crossed, legs set a little wider. His sand began the attack, spewing out of his gourd like a damn fountain and swirling around his feet like boiling lava. I knew I would have to hold myself back, not really sure of my strength at the moment. My physical strength hadn't changed, as I had discovered with the weight earlier, but my chakra had definitely increased. That rampage on the technicians in the evil lab had proved that well enough.

I mostly dodged his sand. But he made it impossible for me to do that for too long. I tentatively reached for some wind, surprised by the gale-force that met my summons. I immediately wrestled with it, having asked for a tiny pony and having gotten a massive wild, rampaging stallion instead. With the distraction that was my own weapon, Gaara managed to get his sand around my legs, immobilizing me. It twisted up my body, and it pissed me off how much I enjoyed the feel of his sand. It pissed me off so much in fact, that I said fuck it and called that stallion again, not bothering with the little shit anymore.

I called the wind into me, using all the little itsy bitsy cracks in the sand between the grains and then, once in, pushed out, giving myself enough room to jump free. I didn't want that sand to touch me again. I was still offended by my body's misbehavior.

I attempted to call forth my wind blades, but they felt awkward now and immediately split off into wind claws. I looked at my hand, noting the barely visible clawed appendage on each arm now. _All right, well I guess this is what's going to have to happen._ I accepted my new weapons with grace, not really expecting the sudden change but relatively okay with it. I had the feeling that I wouldn't be using swords again any time soon.

I crouched, my battle stance changing too. His sand came at me, I easily dodged, but was more aggressive now. He had woken up that side I had been trying to keep dormant. This was going to get really messy, really fast.

A low growl built in my chest and I didn't bother trying to suppress it. Fuck the council, let them see me. I had controlled myself up till now. I had been pissed off and messed with to my limit. And I still hadn't killed or even hurt anyone, but they had woken the cat now, and she wanted to play. And for that matter, I was pissed off at the whole thing, this whole ridiculous test they had felt the need to put me through.

My eyes flashed bright, the light getting to me. Thankfully, this whole nonsense had lasted long enough that there were some acceptable shadows caused by the other side of the arena. I backed into those, drawing him into my territory. My vision immediately cleared, getting sharper and sharper, the dark, the shadows clearing until I could see more clearly than I ever had in my entire life, even if it was still a little too bright. His sand followed, just as I had predicted.

I grinned, enjoying myself now. His eyes narrowed, considering. He was invested completely in the battle now too, his sand speeding up and become deadly ropes. He uncrossed his arms and took a real battle stance, actively controlling the sand now, directing it with those long graceful movements of his. I watched, dimly aware that my gaze was predatory, hungry and dangerous. He had become my prey, and I wanted him.

I didn't even notice how I was slipping into the dangerous area, the line that I had crossed getting far away.

His gaze sharpened, the light green intensifying and looking hawk like in its concentrated focus. I waited for a moment, more comfortable in the shadows, the bright sunlight hurting my eyes, but I had to go out there because that's where he was. I snarled, not particularly happy about it.

I crouched down low, coiling wind below me like a spring. Then I leapt upwards and out, fully extended, my arms forwards my legs back, twisting through the air to avoid his sand as it rushed to meet me. I used the air currents around my body to twist and flip through the air as his sand corkscrewed around me. Noting the trap his sand was setting, I flipped around. Using the air as a spring board, I launched myself into the sky, faster than his sand could follow. Once up there, I hung for a second and then arched backwards and fell back down head first, like a falcon, spearheading down towards Gaara. I saw his eyes widen and then narrow fiercely with determination. His sand rising to his command, faster and more aggressively than ever before when I had fought him.

He had been training then, this was real.

I stalled a little right before hitting the sand, calling forth a wind to break my fall and buffer his rising sand. Our two elements collided with an audible crash, the backlash from it sending out a massive blast. Everyone watching had to grab onto their hats.

I pushed off and landed a ways away, landing lightly on my feet and skidding back several yards. I hissed viciously, the sound carrying eerily and echoed by my wind. Gaara responded with a deep menacing growl. Sounded like I wasn't the only one riled up.

I could feel the wind crackling around my body, whipped so quickly that the friction was creating sparks. Alright then, that was interesting, perhaps something to pursue at a later date. As it was, I pushed them faster, feeling the air changing, condensing, becoming heavier and more dangerous. This was definitely something I could use.

Air started hissing across the ground, rushing towards the pressure change I was creating and then bouncing off and up, making a cloud above me. The sky darkened a little as the air ionized, so much pressure drawn to me that the sky began to shift, the weather itself shifting. The little bit of shade helped my eyesight too.

Gaara watched, almost impassive, except for the way I could tell he was rallying his forces, a calm concentrated look on his face. Sand started slithering in from all corners of the training field, rushing in from the desert surrounding us.

This was about to escalate to epic proportions with a high possibility of injury or worse for the spectators. Even so, both of us drew our elements closer. I raked my claws through the thick ionized air around me, the air so thick in fact that it left visible impressions. I crouched low, waiting. And then I grinned. His eyes flashed black.

It was at this highly volatile moment that both the twins and the sand siblings rushed onto the field. His siblings ran in front of him and mine in front of me. I hissed and glared at them and I heard Gaara growling from across the field.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm the fuck down! Geez!" Hikaru panted breathlessly.

I inhaled sharply, recognizing that they were about to be smushed with the air pressure if I didn't make some really quick changes. I grabbed myself with an iron will and forced the air pressure to relax slowly, ever so gently, also not wanting to pop their veins with a drastic pressure change. It took some time but eventually I managed to settle the air enough that they were out of danger and I breathed a sigh of relief, truly having been frightened there for a moment.

"Holy shit you guys, do you know how easily I could have….?!"

"Yeah, yeah we know already, but seriously … could you and your boyfriend not have such violent tendencies? I mean really, I didn't know if you guys were going to fuck or fight, maybe both at the same time, but either way it was gonna take out the field!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snarled, still riled up and not in the mood.

"What?" Kaoru asked innocently.

"It's obvious that the field was about to be annihilated." Hikaru continued.

"Not that, idiot! The whole fucking or fighting thing!" I growled.

"Oh. Well I mean with the way you guys were staring at each other, like you practically wanted to _eat_ each other, it was really difficult to tell."

"WHAT?!" I shrieked, probably totally red in the face. I had had enough. I reached forward and grabbed them both by their collars and dragged their faces right up into mine, glaring at them nose to noses. "Now you listen to me, I've had it up to here with all these jokes about me and Gaara!" I glowered into their innocent faces.

They were completely unperturbed about me yanking them to me or anything, even after seeing how violent I could be. I let them go with an exasperated exclamation and a push of my arms. I stood glaring at them and then reached out and whacked their heads together with a practiced move, just hard enough to give them a little bump but not hurt too bad.

They yelped and then groaned, glaring at me while rubbing their heads, and I threw up my hands and stalked away, not even caring about the counsel anymore. They could all go fuck themselves, it would probably help them to get a little of that tension out. Maybe they wouldn't be such assholes.

I stalked back to my apartments.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Well...hope you enjoyed it. SUPER LONG CHAPTER, YAY! :3

It's gonna be interesting folks.


	55. Burn With Me: Chapter 22 & 23

**Chapter 22**

During and after the test, over the next few days, I was made aware that the cat was not fully subdued. Sure she was sealed away inside me, but she could still make herself known. And sometimes I even found myself struggling to keep her out of my head. She influenced my actions and emotions, making me quite a bit more volatile. I found my anger getting out of control easily, a bloodlust sometimes taking me over. The desire to hunt and kill disturbingly started coming more and more frequently. I quickly became aware of the cat's voice in my head. I hid how much it was affecting me to the best of my abilities, by training viciously, working myself harder and harder to exhaust myself.

It was difficult to hide though, because whenever she was being a bitch and trying to take over, particularly when she wanted to get her claws in Gaara and get busy with him in ways I refused to think about, but in ways that she always thought about, my eyes would turn into hers. I knew it when they tingled and my vision shifted, shadows becoming brighter and details growing sharper.

The next several days after the test, I stayed indoors, simply trying to get all my new senses under control, particularly my sense of smell. I found that I could suppress it a little, though it took some work. Same thing with the hearing and of course the eyesight was only when my eyes shifted into demonic state.

The twins came by of course, and were practically beside themselves with anxiety and apologies, wanting to be all over me but forcing themselves to keep a little bit of distance, since they knew I was still dealing with my new problems. They visited for a while and then scampered off, knowing I needed some space.

After a few days of shutting myself inside, I felt a little like I might explode, the rising aggression having had no outlet, so I left, going to the training fields for the first time since Gaara and I had fought. I found an unused corner and dragged together some old dummies. I was interested to see how far I could push that new technique.

I focused, drawing the air to me, closer and closer. And that weird thing began to happen, the air crackling around me and ionizing. I realized pretty quickly though that this wasn't something I could practice while in the village, even on the expanse of the training grounds. So I would have to leave and train out in the desert, maybe at night when no one was looking if I wanted to keep it a secret. So I couldn't use that as an outlet.

The cat inside me needed a scratching post. She had been pacing for the last hour, driving me bat shit crazy, pestering me to let her out to play.

After the test, I had sat down and had a long conversation with her. I realized that both of us were stuck in this situation. Neither of us liked it but there wasn't anything either one of use could do about it at the moment, so we would just have to learn to live with one another for the time being.

 _Okay look, I don't like this anymore than you do, but we've got to figure out a system, some way that we can live with one another_

She yawned, bored by me.

 _Oh come on._

 _ **Fine, fine, if you say so. Being crammed into you is more interesting than that box I've been in for the last hundred years. So just make sure to eat some fish now and again and let me out to play, otherwise I will drive you nuts.**_

 _Fine._

 _ **Deal. I'm going to take a nap.**_

At which point the conversation ended. She was surprisingly easy to get along with, generally. She still drove me nuts, just having her there ramped up my emotional state of being. She didn't have to do anything for me to get pissed off, just having her extra energy all cooped up inside me made me high strung. But it was just something I would have to learn to deal with, that and the whole attraction thing. That was still something we disagreed on. She wanted to hump Gaara into the next century and I disapproved. I doubted we would ever see eye to eye on that one.

So that left me going to the training ground to let her ' _play_ ' which essentially meant putting together a bunch of scratching up posts and clawing them to bits. Since she liked it so much, I liked it. It was weird. I could feel her enjoyment flood me, and I thoroughly relished shredding the wooden dummies with those razor sharp wind claws that I was growing rather attached to.

After that, many people gave me lots of space on the training fields. I couldn't imagine why. After training, I went to get some groceries, not having had time to do that in a while. While I was there I found that there wasn't any fish available, since this was the desert, but that she seemed rather partial to the bird type meats as well. Really she just liked meat.

I sighed and went home after buying groceries. Temari was there waiting for me.

"Hi?" I questioned as I walked in, going about putting my groceries away.

"So…how are you?" She questioned timidly.

"Um…okay I guess, why do you ask?"

"The whole possession thing." She reminded me, giving me a ' _duh_ ' kind of look.

"Right. No, I'm better I think."

"Hm. Is Gaara's scent still making you nutty?"

"Say what?" I dropped something, I wasn't sure what it was since I was too busy gaping at Temari after her strange remark.

She laughed. "Oh come on, the way you reacted to his scent at the tests, which you barely passed by the way, it was hilarious!"

"What…me barely passing the test, or the way I reacted?" I asked sourly.

"The way you reacted smartass." She sighed, exasperated.

"Hn." I turned away and cleaned up the mess I made.

"Talk to me." She sing-songed. I hated it when she did that.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"What if I do this?" She tossed something at me and I caught it out of reflex. That was a mistake. _Note to self: never catch anything Temari throws at you randomly. Dodge it. And then run away_.

It had Gaara's scent all over it, literally soaked in his scent. It was his white sash I numbly noted. Where the hell she had gotten it, I don't know. I yelped and dropped it like it was on fire, backing up real quick and covering my mouth and nose, which didn't help since now my hand smelled like him. I stared at my hand in horror and immediately scrubbed it in the sink.

"Temari you bitch!" I squeaked, too busy trying to rid myself of his smell to pay any attention to the pitch of my voice.

She was, of course, bent over laughing in her chair. I hoped she choked. After scrubbing my hand nearly raw I backed slowly away from the scent that was slowly filling my house.

After a while she stopped laughing long enough to say, "Oh sure, yeah that doesn't do anything to you. Why are you acting like it's a rattlesnake then? Either he smells really, really bad or…"

"Or what?" I spat, still glaring at the offending white material on the ground.

"Well…I'm not entirely sure. If I had to guess, I would say that either you hated his scent or else you liked it too much."

I switched my glare from it to her.

She laughed. "Ah hah, so you like his scent too much! And what does that mean exactly?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right. Then I'll say it … I think you lo…" I cut her off by throwing something at her, the first thing that happened to be close at hand, which turned out to be my boot. She ducked, "Oh, that's telling. Yeah I'm positive that you love my…"Another flying object interrupted her, this time a very large mixing bowl. "…younger…" She was pretty good at dodging and talking at the same time to my frustration, dodging the soaring lamp without missing a step. "…brother…" She barely dodged the flying chair. "Yeesh, you sure are violent. And all I'm saying is that you're…" She ducked some airborne cutlery. "…in love with…" She blocked the books with her fan. "…Gaara…"

I gave up, she just wouldn't shut up. I threw my hands up in the air and simply ignored her.

"So now your ignoring me is that it? Well maybe you'll respond if I tell you that I think he loves you too."

My heart leapt into my throat and the cat leapt to attention. I shoved her back down. _She said love not lust you damn horny feline._

 _ **So?**_

 _You are both terrible._

 _ **Sure.**_

 _Go away._

 _ **I can't dumbass.**_

 _Fuck._

 _ **Yep.**_

I sighed and put my head in my hands. "Temari could you please drop it?"

"Why?"

"Because it's not something I want to talk about." I groaned.

"At least admit that you love him."

I heaved another sigh. "Why?"

"Because I want to hear it."

"Why?!" I protested loudly.

"If you don't, I'll stay and talk you ear off about how much you love him." She threatened.

"Oh hell no, you won't." I glared at her.

She just gave me a look.

"You would, wouldn't you?"

Same look.

"Damn." I sighed. "Fine, fine! I admit it! There, you happy?"

"Not until you actually say it."

"You are so fucking pushy. I love Gaara! There! I said it! Now piss off!" It felt like I had to shove the words out of my strangled throat. This was tough.

"Do you love him or are you in love with him?" She inquired, really pushing the envelope.

"Semantics. What's the goddam difference?"

"Oh language young lady. Tsk tsk. If you're in love with him then you love him more than a friend."

I sighed. "I already said I loved him…."

"But do you love him as a friend?"

"No, you annoying spiky haired, blond asshole! You know perfectly well that I'm in love with him! You just like to pester me!" I yelled, super pissed off.

"Wow, didn't think you'd actually say it."

"Why you little…" I growled.

"So if you love him so much, why does his scent repulse you?" She asked, sounding actually curious now, instead of teasing.

"You already answered that question…I like it too much." I groaned, scrubbing my face with my hands and then running them through my hair, feeling like pulling it out.

"How so?"

"Do I need to spell everything out for you when you already know the words? I love him! I am in love with him! His scent…does things to me that aren't good for my sanity, and certainly not good for your brother's wellbeing." I barked, my hair sticking up in all directions.

"Gaara's wellbeing?" She asked while laughing. Probably at both my words and my crazy appearance.

"Do you want your brother to be raped?" I asked point blank with a matter-of-fact tone of voice and absolutely no facial expression. There was a moment of silent shock and then she busted out laughing, nearly falling over. I just heaved a sigh. "Sober up Temari, it's not funny."

"Oh but it is…" She howled.

"No it's really not…do you honestly think our friendship would survive if I just randomly attacked him like…that?" She stopped laughing. "Exactly." She finally seemed to come out of her funny little world. "Your brother does not love me, at least no more than he loves you. I refuse to ruin our friendship over something as stupid as a damn hormonal cat shoved in my head."

She snickered and then sobered again. "What makes you think he doesn't love you?"

"He might…again as I said, like you. But there's no way he could be in love with me."

"Why are you so sure?"

"I just am. It would never work, I'm too damaged." I said, with a good dose of self-loathing spicing up my tone and making it dark.

"What do you mean?"

"I've said too much already. Let's not get into all my problems." I groaned again, smacking my palm to my face once again. My forehead was going to be permanently red by the end of this.

"You're like a sister to me…" She protested.

"Fuck you bitch…" I growled, touched by the sentiment, but totally pissed off at her at the moment.

"Love you too, bitch." She chuckled, knowing that I did love her like a sister too. Even if I was currently trying to kill her.

"Look, can I just say it wouldn't work and leave it at that?"

"No." She responded, stubborn as usual.

"He left me Temari. It's as simple as that. When we were children, he was all I had, and he left. I won't do it again. I can't." I said simply, looking away from her shocked expression.

"But you know why…" She whispered.

"Yes, I know he forgot about me because of Shukaku and he couldn't help it. I've forgiven him for that."

"Then…"

"I cannot do it. How many different ways do I have to say it? I refuse to believe that he could ever love me like that. I simply will not allow myself to think about it because it _hurts_ too much. The whole thing freaks me out. Can we please drop it now?"

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry."

"Sure, sure." I waved her off, knowing she wasn't all that sorry. Well, she was sorry that she had brought out this pain in me, but she wasn't sorry about being a fucking pest.

"You're not going to like what the council ordered then."

"What did they do now?" I sighed, hating them already.

"They said you're going to have to come live with us while you learn how to get control of your cat thing."

"Fuck. Are you kidding?"

"No."

"Damn it!" I cussed, turning and punching the wall. Which hurt a little more than usual because of all the bruises still vibrant on my skin. I scowled down at my purple knuckles.

"Yeah."

I hung my head and grabbed my face with my hands, massaging my scalp, and giving it a good scrub with my fingernails. This was so not good, how was I supposed to survive living with Gaara when I couldn't even be in the same room without feeling like I went up in flames? The sensations I experienced while being around him were…intense and uncomfortable. Not that they would necessarily be bad under different circumstances, but under the current ones, it was close to torture and made me ever so slightly homicidal.

I groaned and shook my head, still pulling on my hair and trying to think of some way in hell that I would come out of this situation with my sanity intact. "Why would anyone think this was a good idea?! They saw how fucking crazy I went when they put Gaara on the field with me! Are they completely insane?!"

"Maybe they want you to kill each other off?" Temari posed.

My head popped up and I eyed her, considering. "That's a distinct possibility unfortunately." I heaved a sigh. "Temari, I apologize in advance for being a complete and utter asshole for the next several weeks. And I apologize to Kankuro too."

She nodded. "So you're predicting that being horny 24/7 is going to put you in a bad mood?" She snickered, having found her sense of humor again. _How wonderful._

"Temari…" I growled, the sound low and dangerous and when I looked at her my eyes flashed blue. I knew it because my vision shifted and her expression changed immediately. I stood up slowly and stalked towards her while she leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. I believe it was the one I had thrown at her. I was actually surprised it was still in one piece.

I leaned over her, bracing my hands on the back of the chair, and going nose to nose with her as I loomed. "I have a demon inside of me now…you remember what that sort of thing did to your brother? How he became an insane serial killer until he learned to control it? You have very little fucking clue how easy it is for me to get pissed off now. And when I get pissed off, bad things sometimes happen. Until I learn how to control my newfound temper management issues, things at your house might be a little… _unpleasant_."

I walked away and took a few deep breaths to forcibly calm myself. When I turned back around, she still looked shocked and a little frightened. "I apologize, I could have said that a little nicer and without the physical intimidation. As I said, I have a short fuse these days." I sighed and rubbed my head, getting a headache.

After a low exhalation on a whistle she said, "Well, you have the ' _I'm going to kill you_ ' look down pat. Did you pick that one up from Gaara or is it just reserved for having a demon in your head?"

I chuckled darkly. "I have no idea. Probably both. I got _his_ look often enough back in the day."

She snorted. "Yeah, you seemed to have a knack for pissing him off."

"Yeah…I guess I did didn't I? Anyways, so when am I supposed to move in?"

"As soon as possible, they want you in now."

"As in, I'm ordered to start packing today?" I sighed heavily resigning myself.

"Pretty much."

"What do you suppose would happen if I refused?"

"You'd probably get locked up…" She sighed, as exasperated with them as I was.

"Probably."

I heaved a sigh as well and looked around at my apartment. "All right then, it's only temporary right?"

"I think so…"

"Then I'll just pack up the essentials and leave the rest."

"Sounds good. Oh and by the way, I saw the twins on the way here and let them know they could come over to our house whenever they want to visit you."

"Thanks." I was grateful that I wouldn't have to go track them down.

I heaved yet another sigh, not at all appreciative of this nonsense and walked around the apartment, picking up all my tools and weapons and putting them in a very large canvas bag. I then gathered together all my clothes, not having that many to start with, so I might as well bring them all, and then scooted all my toiletries into a plastic bag, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, body soap, etc. Over all it wasn't particularly difficult to do and didn't take all that much time, but I still disliked doing it, simply because of what it meant.

Moving into the same house as Gaara … that was something I never thought I would do. I supposed if it were different and he had invited me to live with him, I might feel differently about it, but the fact that I was essentially being forced on him really bothered me, even though I knew it probably wasn't something that he would hold against me. And then there was that little secret part of me that was guiltily enjoying the idea, which was at odds with the rest of what I was feeling, to the extent that I told that small voice to shut the hell up.

"I hope this isn't a problem Temari, I'm sorry that they are making you guys accommodate me for who knows how long."

"It's no problem at all. We have that spare bedroom after all. It'll be fun, don't worry!"

"I'm sure it will be very amusing…" I muttered darkly and sarcastically. Although she probably _would_ be amused at my expense, bitch. "No more movie nights though!" I turned and gave her a glare that was only half teasing.

She choked on a surprised laugh.

After a moment of contemplation, I decided that I had never lived anywhere for any length of time without my little sand cat so I delicately picked it up off of my only shelf and gently wiped the dust off its nose, staring fondly down at its perfect tiny face. Gaara had really outdone himself on this one. It looked just like the cute kitten that had been the muse for the sculpture. How ironic, he had made me this treasure of a feline, which I had cherished for so long, and now I had a cat inside of me. I sighed, and shook my head, not up to contemplating the will of the fates, as I carefully tucked my precious memory into the bandages around my chest.

I ignored the curious look Temari gave me, not wanting to really get into it again. I felt incredibly uncomfortable about everything I had already shared. The only saving grace was that, despite being an insufferable busy body and somewhat of a gossip, I actually trusted her to not say anything to anyone about what I had unwillingly told her.

After looking around for a moment I sighed. "Alright I guess that's it. Let's go." And I walked out the door with Temari following, heading off to my new home.

 **Chapter 23**

I wasn't happy about it moving in with Gaara. Not at all.

Although I loved Gaara, and wanted to be around him as much as possible, currently it that was very difficult because of the stupid feline renter inside my head. At the first whiff of his scent, she would start getting all stupid and fussy, wanting to jump him and do all sorts of things I was not comfortable thinking about. And then when I refused to hump him, she would get all pissy. And then I would get pissy. And it would turn into a piss fest, and it wasn't fun for anybody.

Not to mention that aside from her, I still had my own problems to deal with. When exposed to Gaara's wonderful scent, my body would get all stupid and decide to get … well … uncomfortably excited. It was all very unpleasant, embarrassing, and downright ticked me off. I couldn't stand it. Not being able to be around Gaara was the worst thing about this whole new situation.

And so, I predicted that moving into his house would be exceptionally not-fun, which was why I really despised being forced to do this. I sighed, for the hundredth time as Temari and I walked up the little sidewalk towards her front door and she sent me a sympathetic glance, understanding why I wasn't happy.

When we reached the front porch, the door swung open without either one of us having to put down anything.

"Hey there, welcome home!" Kankuro said jovially as he opened the door for us. The two of us were laden with my bags, not because I couldn't have carried them all myself, but Temari had offered and I had taken her up on it.

Surprisingly the way Kankuro greeted us sent a warm fuzzy feeling surging through my chest, having never really had anyone say those exact words to me in this particular context. Sure the twins always welcomed me back to the village after a mission, but I had never lived with anyone before, never shared a home, and so to have someone say ' _welcome home_ ,' it actually almost made me a little tearful. I stalled on the doorstep, forcing my eyes to dry out, really not in the mood to get all blubbery. I felt this strange hesitation to enter the open doorway, feeling as though it was some big barrier.

It was all so new, such unexplored territory for me, that I was unexpectedly, suddenly overwhelmed. I took a shaky breath and swallowed hard, not even thinking about the fact that it was Gaara's home anymore, just smacked upside the head with the realization that I was actually going to have a 'home' with people in it, somewhere that I would be _welcomed_ home. It was such a surprise, the way I now felt, my reaction thoroughly shocking the hell out of me.

Thankfully both siblings recognized what was going on, though I missed the shared look over my head. I probably would have stayed there for a while, zoning out, if it weren't for them and their quick thinking.

"Come on! I'll show you your new room!" Temari exclaimed, pushing me from behind.

Kankuro grabbed my arm and tugged at the same time as Temari pushed, saying, "Yeah, let's go roomie!"

Between the two of them, I found myself propelled forward, past my hesitation, my mind abruptly knocked out of the frozen state it had gotten itself into. I was able to breathe easier once inside, though I still felt oddly nervous. They dragged and pushed me up the stairs, chattering happily the whole while, successfully distracting me enough that I could relax somewhat. The insistent duo propelled me towards the spare bedroom, which I noted was the last one on the hallway, between Temari's and the staircase that led up to Gaara's. Once they had pushed me inside my new room, they showed it off goofily, actually managing to make me laugh.

"You have your own bathroom through this door, and you _do_ have hot and cold water, so don't burn or freeze yourself." Kankuro joked, waving his arms around the faucets in a dramatic ' _showroom_ - _y_ ' type of way.

I snorted, touched by how hard they were trying to make me feel comfortable and at home. "Thanks guys." I said softly and looked around at everything, a little dazed. Kankuro grinned and rubbed the back of his neck, looking just a tad uncomfortable with the praise.

After a moment he glanced at the clock and grimaced. "Well I gotta go check on the young'uns, so I'll see you guys later." He grumbled and bounded off to teach his class.

I knew he hated it, not really doing well with kids, but it seemed as though he was getting a little better. Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara only had a few more weeks before their students could graduate from the half-baked program and enter the new Sand Village Academy. The counsel had finally rounded up proper teachers and built a tiny, temporary, academy sort of building. It was very small, and would be added onto extensively later on, but they simply built the quickest thing they could, to get the new program off the ground.

"How about I help you put away your clothes?" Temari asked and busied herself with emptying my hastily packed bags, hanging up and folding all my clothes and putting them away in the closet and dresser. I watched, semi-numb and sitting on my new bed. I felt very awkward, but over all I had begun to adjust somewhat to the idea.

"Hey where's Gaara?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I hadn't seen him yet. Not that I was overly eager to do so, I just worried that maybe he hadn't greeted me as a way to show his disproval of the new living arrangements.

"Oh he's on a very short mission. He should be back today actually." Temari hummed, hanging up my last black shirt and standing there for a moment, looking into my now somewhat filled closet.

"Does he know about this yet?" I mumbled, worried.

"Hm, I guess not." She said somewhat distractedly.

"Oh."

She puffed out a dismissive breath and flicked her hand in the air in a trivializing sort of way. "Don't worry, he'll be fine with it."

I nodded, still feeling nervous.

"Do you seriously only wear black and white?" She then proceeded to question, sounding mildly offended.

"Um yes? I mean I have bags of weird colorful stuff that the twins have bought me stashed somewhere at my apartment, but I didn't bother bringing them since I never wear them.

"Huh. Interesting." She shrugged.

For a while Temari hung out with me, but eventually she had to go, having her own class to tend to. I stayed in my new room, even though she said to make myself at home and get whatever I wanted to eat out of the fridge, or hang out wherever I wanted within the house. I simply felt uncomfortable wandering around the house with no one home, still feeling like a guest.

I lay down on my new bed and slowly drifted into a nap, not dreaming, just lying there asleep and wandering. The opening and shutting of the door downstairs didn't make enough noise to wake me up really, although somewhere in my mind I was aware of its existence.

I didn't pay any attention to anything until a scent slowly registered through my foggy mind. Half asleep, all I knew was that I liked the scent, and turned my head in its direction. My body tried to respond in a certain way, but still being asleep, it did so lazily, slowly warming up, but it wasn't at all unpleasant.

I hummed and relaxed back into the mattress, not aware that I had tensed a tiny bit while my half asleep mind tried to determine if I should fully wake up, if the intrusion was a threat or not. The scent grew stronger, which, in my fuzzy state of mind, was a great thing. How I managed to stay in this semi-aware, but not-really-awake state I don't know, and it didn't really matter, all I knew was that I thoroughly enjoyed the warm sun baked sand smell currently taking over every other scent.

It had gotten strong enough that I could sense the presence of whatever gave off such a nice smell. It was warm and spicy, sandy, comforting, lovely, and exciting all at once and made my stomach feel warm and gooey, like I was boneless. It was very nice, and I wanted to stay like that for as long as possible. So, I made the active decision, as my brain tried to kick start, that no, I would rather it not start up at all. I put a halt to all of that nonsense, just sort of sinking back into a slumbering form.

I sighed and rolled onto my side, curling up a little more comfortably. Unaware of the movement, I followed the sandy smell with my nose as it shifted into my space, and I scooted a little closer to the source, squirming on the bed to inch my way towards the warmth I sensed. I hit the edge of the bed and stopped, sighing as I drowsily reached out a hand and it managed to land, propped up kind of oddly, on something warm and solid. I simply let my hand rest there, absorbing the warmth and the smell as I drifted back closer to sleep.

After a while I became aware of the warmth in front of me moving, whatever it was that I was touching with my hand moving down almost like it was dropping. It didn't make any sense to me so I swatted at it to make it stop. My hand was gently nudged to the side and then the warmth came closer to my face and my hand was left dangled out in the air. I grumbled, bringing my hand back in and finding that now instead of having the side of my hand sort of bumping up against something, I could drape my arm over the same warmth, which I did with sleepy glee.

That wonderful scent was now right in front of my face and I didn't hesitate to scoot forward until my face bumped into the source of the scent, which also had the added delight of being quite soft, and I immediately nuzzled into it, sighing deeply with contentment and curling the rest of my body forward, so that I was snuggled as close as I could to the source.

 **Gaara POV**

He completely ignored his brother and sister when they came home later that day. Usually he would have risen to greet them, but abstained from doing so, for fear of waking the sleeping female currently draped over his shoulders. He was still a little in shock about it, and wasn't entirely sure how it had come to happen. In fact, he didn't even know why Ren was there, lying on the bed in the spare bedroom, or why all her stuff seemed to be in the room. It appeared as though she was moving in, and even though he didn't know why, he was exceedingly pleased about it.

Kankuro and Temari came upstairs and paused in the doorway, having come to check on the newest member of the household apparently. They stopped and stared, both faces mirror images of surprise and shock as they took in the completely unexpected scene they happened across. Gaara had one of his eyes slit just a tiny bit and could see them, but he closed even that again after a minute.

Gaara ignored them, choosing instead to simply continue with his calm meditative state that substituted for his sleep. He was much too comfortable and happy where he was to bother with greeting his siblings at the moment.

 **Temari and Kankuro POV**

Ren was lying on the bed, curled on her side, facing Gaara, who was sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, his gourd propped against the opposite wall. She had one arm draped over his shoulder, bending at the elbow so her hand lay against his chest, and perhaps even more surprising than that was the way her face was currently buried in the nape of his neck, her nose in his hair. Both of them appeared to be asleep, Ren's face was hidden by Gaara's hair, but it was apparent by her deep breathing and utterly relaxed body that she was out cold. Gaara on the other hand probably wasn't asleep, but his eyes were closed and he didn't acknowledge their presence in any sort of way, which meant he was deep in that weird trance-like state he went when resting.

Not wanting to disturb them Temari and Kankuro tiptoed to their own rooms, leaving them to their intimate moment. They shared a gleeful look as they snuck back down the stairs, thoroughly delighted that it looked like the two were finally making some progress.

 **Ren POV**

I woke up slowly, feeling so comfortable and warm that I didn't want to wake up. But I knew that eventually I would have to wake up. I had the strangest most wonderful dream, and I didn't want to leave the comfort of that odd space in my head.

Sighing, I dragged my eyes open, noting the morning light streaming through my window, and was momentarily disoriented, before remembering that I was now at Gaara's house. I groaned and face palmed, rubbing my itchy, sticky, morning eyes while I was at it.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom, taking a brisk shower to help myself wake up and then got dressed for the day. A hunger pain gripped my stomach, making me realize that I had forgotten to eat yesterday, and I had apparently conked out before dinnertime. I trotted down the stairs, wondering what sort of food they might have for breakfast.

I very nearly turned right back around on the stairs when Gaara's scent smacked me in the face on the way down the stairs, but I just grit my teeth, let my body go through all its stupid shenanigans and then limped down the rest of the way gingerly as I simply did my best to ignore how my body was trying to boss me around and tell me that it wanted certain things. Those things were not going to happen and I refused to even think about what sorts of things it was asking for. Preferring to let it remain a vague thing, I draped a veil over that part of my brain, attempting to the best of my ability to block off all knowledge pertaining to the subject.

It worked to a certain extent. I was still physically uncomfortable, but I was relatively calm about it.

"Hey Temari, good morning." I said, not sounding either happy or anything else, just kind of politely pleasant, perhaps a little forced.

"Oh, hi Ren. Did you have a good night?"

"Sure."

I peered into the fridge, noting the lack of a few essentials and making a mental note to go to the market, or rather perhaps just bring some stuff over from my apartment.

Kankuro walked in at that moment, "Oh. Heeeeey there Ren, you must have had a reaaally good night's sleep huh?"

I looked over my shoulder, giving him a look. I wasn't sure what he was implying, but I knew he was implying _something_. I also saw Temari give him a look, something akin to 'SHUT UP STUPID!' which I found equally fascinating. They both obviously knew something I didn't, but I chose to ignore them and fetched a couple of eggs out, planning to make myself some breakfast. Of course I had no idea where anything was.

Gaara, who I wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been giving off that scent that drove me up the wall, must have seen my dilemma, because a pan was suddenly on the stove, several cabinets were opened to expose spices, measuring cups, and the like, and another cabinet was opened to show dishes, while a drawer was pulled out exposing the utensils. It was all done swiftly and neatly with graceful tendrils of sand that snaked from his gourd, seemingly without any direction from him. In fact, I hadn't even seen him look my way, but then I was purposefully not looking at him so I suppose it made sense why I hadn't seen whether he was paying any attention to me.

I immediately felt guilty for ignoring him, and feeling guilty made me a little ticked off. I wrestled with the unnecessary reaction until I was back to just feeling guilty, but also grateful for his assistance. I didn't want to make a big deal about it though.

"Thanks Gaara." I said, smiling at him and hoping that it didn't look fake. It felt a little forced.

I went about making my breakfast, ignoring the odd looks Temari and Kankuro were sending me. I assumed they had updated Gaara on what was going on and why I was here, either that or Gaara had simply accepted my presence without any questions. Which was kind of something I wouldn't be very surprised about, coming from him. He was just weird that way sometimes.

It was starting to bug me, the way they kept staring. I finished making breakfast and flopped an omelet onto my plate, considering what I should do with the slightly smaller extra omelet I had left over. I was ticked off with Temari and Kankuro for being so weird, so I wasn't inclined to give it to either of them.

Subtly I glanced over to see what Gaara was eating for breakfast. Aside from knowing that he liked things spicy, I didn't really know what he liked to eat. It appeared that he was having some sort of leftovers, and it didn't really look like he had eaten a whole lot, or like he had had a whole lot to start with. He was probably like me, simply too busy to usually get a decent breakfast.

I shrugged, figuring that if he didn't like it, or wasn't hungry, he would throw it away. I took my plate and a plate with the extra egg to the table and put the extra plate next to Gaara, in a way that was obviously offering him the food and then sat down with my own plate.

As I began eating my own breakfast, I subtly watched his reactions, seeing whether he was the kind of person who appreciated having other people give him food. His eyes widened a little bit when I first set it down and he stared at the plate, and then glance over to me, and then back down to the plate, doing a pretty good job of covering up his surprise. After a minute his face went from surprise, the subtle widening of his eyes going back to normal, and he expressed interest.

Reading Gaara's state of emotion was always tricky. It was more a matter of watching his eyes than anything else on his face. Even that was difficult, since more often than not, it was as if his eyes had shutters. They remained carefully blank. But sometimes, like now, you could see the emotions in them, while the rest of his face was still tightly controlled. Right now, his eyes showed an intent fascination with the plate of food, and it also looked like he enjoyed the fact that I had given it to him, though I couldn't be sure.

I continued to eat my breakfast at a steady pace, slowing myself down from my normal rush to a more leisurely sort of thing to give myself time to see if he would actually eat what I had given him. I didn't really care if he finished it or anything, but I was interested to see if he would at least try it, or if he was one of those people that couldn't stand for anyone else to touch his food. It only took a second for him to investigate the new plate with his chopsticks, pulling a piece off and bringing it to his mouth.

I saw the thoughtful way he chewed, and it appeared that he liked the flavor, or at least didn't hate it because he continued to eat off the food I had given him, ignoring the previous food he had been eating. I secretly smiled to myself, allowing myself just a tiny bit of pleasure at his enjoyment of the food I had unintentionally prepared for him.

I finished eating my breakfast and took my plate to the sink, washing it and putting it away. I intended to go and practice on the training field today. I really needed to recalibrate my wind to my new levels of chakra, knowing that I couldn't control my element very well any more.

Scooting up the stairs to grab my equipment, I quickly returned and headed towards the door. "Be back later!" I called back through the door after a moment's hesitation, thinking that perhaps I should say some sort of goodbye, finding it odd and new.

I was responded to with various forms of "See ya later!"

I nodded and made my way to the training grounds. Once there, I staked out that little corner again, noting that the shredded dummies had been replaced. They weren't my goal today though. Today I was going to practice with precision and delicacy. I gathered together a handful of tiny pebbles and pocketed all but one. Sitting down, I placed that one tiny pebble in front of me and attempted to summon a little bit of wind to my palm. Once again, much too much wind answered my summons for the job. I struggled with narrowing the air flow I was summoning, to call forth such a gust.

I snarled and cussed. It took an enormous amount of concentration and effort to figure out how to make the gale less intense. Only hours later was I able to finally limit it to the tiny little breeze I wanted. I sent that little breeze towards the pebble, intending for it to land on the tiny rock and then planned to direct it into a gentle spiral, just enough to pick up the rock and lift it up an inch or so. I failed miserably.

Despite a concentration so fierce my eyes were beginning to ache, as soon as the seemingly innocent breeze came into contact with my pebble, the wind first drove the tiny stone into the dirt and then sent it skidding off across the field to pelt some poor ninja that happened to be just a little too close.

I flinched. "Oops, sorry!" I called, to the ninja who had leapt into the air at the feeling of being hit with such a high velocity tiny object. He glared, and turned back to whatever he was doing, rubbing the back of his shoulder where the pebble had hit him.

I sighed and turned back to the task at hand. It didn't help that I was getting increasingly irritable, the fact that I couldn't seem to get my wind under control driving me insane. Summoning yet another small wind I set in on the next pebble, only to receive similar results, the pebble sent off in some random directions, followed by a yelp. Once I again I called out an apology. After the third time, I determined that perhaps I had better do this somewhere I wouldn't keep injuring people.

I went outside the walls, and resumed my practice, unconcerned now about the pebbles that were sent off into the desert. I practiced until the sun began to set. I was utterly exhausted, hungry and pissed off beyond measure. I knew it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go back to the house in this state of mind, but unfortunately that's what I had to do, knowing that if I went back to my apartment the counsel might confiscate it.

So I stalked back to the Sabaku residence. "Hey, how was your day?" Kankuro called out as soon as he saw me stalking by the couch.

I just growled, knowing that anything I said would be unpleasant.

"Woah, that great huh?" I just stomped up the stairs, not in the mood. And heard Kankuro mutter, "Yeesh…"

I took a shower, washing the grime and filth off my skin from being out in the desert all day and then rummaged around in my packs, pulling out a food pill as a substitute for dinner, not feeling particularly sociable at the moment. After swallowing the pill I collapsed on the bed, forcing my muscles to relax one by one. It was no easy feat; every muscle in my body was clenched with tension from being so pissed off. Breathing slowly and evenly helped.

The next morning I got up early and left, grabbing breakfast on the way out of the village. I parked myself in the same spot as yesterday and resumed training. It took most of the day, but eventually I finally managed to lift the pebble into the air with a little tiny tornado. It was wobbly and not nearly as controlled as I used to be able to make it, but at least I could do it.

I spent the rest of the day repeating the move over and over, refining it, working on control, making the breeze steadier little by little. I was just as exhausted as last night when I returned home, but less pissed off.

"Hey there, where have you been all day?" Temari inquired when I walked through the door.

"Training."

"Ah, I see. Sounds good." She hummed. "So how's the training going?"

"Okay." I grimaced and shrugged, not overly excited about my slow progress.

"You're awfully talkative today aren't you?"

"…hm…" I grunted, not even realizing who I was borrowing the distinctive sound from. But Temari noticed.

"Wow, you sound just like Gaara."

I didn't respond, but the comment pissed me off. Just the thought of him pissed me off for some reason, my exhausted mind unable to deal with the mess that was Gaara at the moment.

"Well, they do say couples start to act like each other so I suppose it makes sense." Temari continued, either not noticing the danger, or not caring.

I stopped walking to my room and I turned to glare at her. Kankuro, who was just entering the room, froze. "Woah, what's going on here?"

I didn't spare him a glance, focused as I was on glaring at Temari. I was actually a little impressed that she managed to keep that smirk on her face, even if it did wobble a little. After a minute I closed my eyes, reined myself back in and turned back towards the stairs.

I went to my room, took a food pill, washed off in the shower, and went to bed.

And so it continued for several days, I would get up and go train, slowly regaining mastery over the wind, but simply not as fast as I would like, returning home every day exhausted and frustrated with how long it was taking me to get back to my level of expertise. Kankuro or Temari would make some wise ass crack inevitably. I would resist saying something I would regret later, and go to bed after taking a shower and eating a food pill, unless I grabbed a quick meal on the way home.

It was harsh, and I knew I was pushing myself probably farther than I should, but the fatigue also helped keep me under control. Simply not having enough energy to waste on killing people helped.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Ren's losing her temper an awful lot...poor thing. Hopefully she can get it all together, but it might take a chapter or two, so hang on guys. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. :3


	56. Burn With Me: Chapter 24 & 25

**Chapter 24**

About a week had passed since moving in with the Sabaku siblings. I had already snapped several times more than I wanted to admit at Kankuro and Temari.

I groaned as I dragged myself into the shower, getting up early once again for training, making good progress, though it was still slow going and I came home in a foul mood. I had gotten into the habit of not really talking to anyone when I got home, mainly because I knew I would say something nasty. Working so hard all day, pushing my body to the limits, meant that by the end of the day I was damn unsociable, just wanting to go to bed and not mess with anyone. After my shower, I went downstairs, planning on getting breakfast on the way out of the village like I had been doing for the past week.

"Hold up Ren." Temari called from above me on the balcony. I waited, eager to leave. "Um, I have some bad news."

"What?"

"Well the council decided that you're going off on your own too much. I guess they think you're going to blow a fuse or some shit like that and blow up the village. Anyway, you're kind of under house arrest."

"What?!" I asked, my voice much too shrill for my own ears.

"Either that, or one of us has to accompany you."

I groaned. "You're fucking kidding me."

"Nope."

I growled, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers. This threw a kink in my plans. I knew Temari and Kankuro didn't have time to babysit, and even if Gaara did, his scent would drive me to distraction and I would never be able to get anything done. The opportunities for me to get out and actually get the shit done I needed in order to get myself under control had suddenly been severely limited, which seemed counterproductive to me.

"They're a bunch of idiots. If their goal is to get me under control, then they should just let me train so that I can!"

"Yeah, well we've never said they were smart." Temari pointed out reasonably.

I heaved a sigh, redirecting my footsteps towards the kitchen. I might as well make myself breakfast since I now had the time to do so. I could feel my cat getting restless from having our training taken away; she was just as pissed as I was, which doubled my irritation. And I felt a craving for food kick in. I had noticed that along with having a nasty temper, my appetite also had increased exponentially, and I hadn't exactly been eating enough lately.

I cringed when my gut made a particularly unpleasant squeeze. Without much thought I decided to make pancakes, not having had a decent breakfast in a while. I whipped up the easy batter, Temari having shown me how to do it a while back when I had been in my apartment.

"Oh you're making pancakes?" Temari asked, sounding hopeful when she saw what I was putting together. I paused and easily tripled the recipe, which would make enough for four people, simply adding in the extra ingredients to the already made batter.

"Tell you what…I made a bunch of batter. I'll fry up mine on the skillet and then you can fry up however many you want. How about that?"

"I never thought about that, I like it." She responded, looking impressed.

I nodded and finished up a stack for myself, then handed it over to Temari. While she was making hers Kankuro came downstairs, drawn by the scent. "Damn what smells so good?"

"Ren made pancakes."

"Really?" He looked around. "It looks like you're making pancakes actually."

"I made the batter, if there's any left when Temari's done you can fry some up for yourself too." I said, bringing my stack, some butter, and sugar to the table.

"Huh. That's an interesting way to do it."

I shrugged and buttered my pancakes. Then I sprinkled a little sugar on top and started eating breakfast.

"You're eating them with sugar?" Kankuro asked, sounding weirded out.

I gave him a look, already ticked off from being told I was under house arrest, the harmless comment fired me up more than it should have. "And?" I asked a little aggressively.

"Woah! Okay, okay eat your pancake however you want! Geez."

I grunted and went back to eating. This was going to be fun. If my temper really had gotten this bad, house arrest was going to drive everyone nuts.

After Temari finished hers Kankuro looked over at the stove. "Do I really have to make my own?" He whined, sounding like a petulant child.

"Temari can make them for you if she wants, but I'm not." I growled, and finished eating, washing my dishes a little more violently that absolutely necessary.

"Damn, what's got you in such a bad mood?"

"Temari hasn't told you? Apparently you get to deal with me and my bad attitude 24/7 now, because the council decided to put me under house arrest unless I'm babysat by one of you guys."

"Wow, are you serious? What a bunch of dumbasses."

"Yep."

At that point everything got worse. Gaara walked downstairs and his scent was like throwing bacon grease on an already burning fire. The way my body snapped to attention had my already nasty mood compounding exponentially. I had the distinct urge to hurt something.

My body tensed up and I froze as Gaara passed by me. I carefully put my plate away, controlling myself tightly so as to not break it and then left, retreating into my room. As I sat there, with my head in my hands, on the edge of the bed, wondering how I ended up in this whole mess, an idea came to me. I may not be able to train the way I had wanted to, but I could work on desensitizing myself to Gaara's scent.

I would have to do it privately, not confidant enough in myself to trust that I wouldn't end up doing something stupid if I overdosed. Knowing that Gaara was downstairs still getting breakfast, I quickly jumped off my bed and navigated up the second flight of stairs to Gaara's room. I quickly snuck in, holding my breath and scanned the room for anything I could use. Pretty much anything here would do. Remembering an incident from before, I quickly made my way into the bathroom, grabbing his towel off the rack and fetched a fresh one from the cabinet, replacing it swiftly before making my escape. I made it back to my room before anyone was the wiser.

Once safe, I let out the breath I had been holding before going over to sit on my bed, holding the towel in my lap. I already knew that his towel had been used; I could smell his scent very thickly on it. As always, it made my body heat up. I braced myself and took a deep breath, absorbing the scent. This was new, not having to worry about the way my body reacted to the scent. Being alone meant that I didn't have to worry about whether I would be too obvious in how excited his scent made me, so I was free to react how I wanted to.

* * *

 **Lemon/Lime Warning: Explicit stuff. If you don't want to read it, skim until you see the next bold print.**

* * *

I groaned and buried my face in the towel, immediately succumbing to the urge to absorb the scent fully. It was impossible for me to not feel ashamed of the weakness I had to it, feeling as if I was doing something wrong. Well, I suppose stealing his towel wasn't technically something I should have done.

As I allowed myself to really fall into that state, the one I had to fight against constantly when I was around him, I realized that I probably should lock my door, which I did before quickly leaping back onto the bed. I sat there with my face buried in the slightly damp fabric, just breathing in that intoxicating smell. Oh god, what had I gotten myself into now? I had a brief moment of freak-out before I reined myself back in, forcibly calming down and telling myself it was okay to let my body react this way, because I was by alone, and it wasn't going to be a bad thing.

My breathing quickly grew rapid, coming in quick bursts as I panted, and I could feel my pulse increasing steadily, pounding harder and harder in my chest and neck. I felt flushed as my temperature rose, my skin beginning to prickle all over. My stomach tensed as my body clenched, and I faintly trembled, shocked by how intense the sensations were. I hadn't ever allowed myself to really soak in his scent before, only ever having fought against it. I supposed this was how it felt like to be a cat in heat. I kind of felt sorry for female cats all over the world now. This insane heat and lust was going to drive me nuts.

Feeling as if things were rapidly spiraling out of control I fell back against my mattress, wondering if I should allow myself to continue in this direction. At this point there wasn't anything I could really do to stop myself though. Having his scent here, this close to me for the first time, right up against my skin, while at the same time not having to worry about exposing myself, allowed me to _really_ let myself feel the way my body reacted to his scent. It was all so intoxicating that I couldn't stop if I wanted to.

I rubbed my face against the cloth he had used to dry his naked skin with, feeling mildly ashamed of myself for it. A soft whimper escaped my throat. My body felt strange, my skin overly sensitive to the way my clothes rubbed against me and I shifted, stretching to allow my skin to rub against the material, enjoying the caress.

I did not enjoy the way my breast binding felt though, suddenly feeling as if it was squashing me, my breasts suddenly much too sensitive and finding the constriction painful. With one hand I yanked the strip of cloth free and sighed as it released its hold. I yelped and then groaned when the bindings rubbed against me in a very interesting way, my nipples suddenly as sensitive as the rest of my skin, even more so. Much more so actually, and I found the sensation of the strips of cloth pulling at me when I twisted my torso to be quite pleasurable, so I squirmed on the bed a little, allowing myself to enjoy these particular sensations for the first time.

I rolled over onto my stomach, the towel under my face as I continued to nuzzle into Gaara's scent. I squirmed, my body feeling hot all over, the sensation as I shifted my chest over the bed wonderful.

I moaned, the sound foreign to my ears. I felt a lot of pressure building up in my lower abdomen, and between my thighs in particular. Hissing, I rubbing my thighs together, trying to alleviate some of the tension. It was frustrating, the sensations so wonderful, and yet at the same time the tension increasing to a level that was nearly unbearable. I enjoyed it and hated it at the same time, not really knowing what to do about it.

Making an educated guess and acting on instinct at the same time, I reached down and pressed my palm over the junction of my thighs. It felt really quite good and I groaned softly, burying my face further into the towel to muffle the sound.

I hesitantly rubbed against my hand, experimenting with the new idea of touching myself there. While I knew that it was perfectly natural, I had simply never felt the need or desire to explore that part of myself, mostly doing my best to ignore the idea of sex altogether. Falling in love with Gaara had frightened me, and being in love with him naturally led to wanting those sorts of things, and that also frightened me. Sex as a concept was fine, the idea of having sex with Gaara? That was terrifying on so many levels that I refused to think about it. Even before the whole cat thing, I had wanted it, and then afterwards, the need had become nearly physically painful, and yet my mind rebelled.

It was the intimacy that frightened me, the idea of being that vulnerable with someone else. It wasn't just the whole naked thing, but also the idea of both receiving pleasure and giving pleasure, not to mention the whole literally-being-inside-of-me thing. There was just too much shit to wade through for me to not be terrified of it. I knew I had issues, I had known it for a long time. I had pretty much been forced to admit it after first realizing that I was in love with Gaara and having to deal with the repercussions of that discovery. And yet I found myself doing this, despite a part of me saying that once I _knew,_ things would be different.

Once I knew how it felt to do this sort of thing, essentially how sex would feel, I knew it would be more difficult to abstain. But even so, I couldn't stop. The way my body reacted to the pressure between my thighs from my own hand both delighted me and frightened me. I had never dealt well with new and powerful emotions, and apparently it was no different when it came to lust and physical pleasure. Yet the pleasure was too great to ignore. So despite my trepidations I continued, gently rubbing my hand against the part of me that was now the center of my attention. It wasn't enough, and I growled, feeling strangely frustrated. I flipped over onto my back and fumbled, getting one hand inside my pants.

I wasn't thinking.

I yelped, by body bucking at the shock of pleasure that ran through my system when I touched myself this new way. It was shocking, and I gasped, the pleasure overwhelming any sort of rational brain function. It was also shocking to my hand, the sensation of heat and wetness that greeted my fingers, and for a moment I fumbled, not entirely sure how to deal with the new situation. It was incredibly slippery, which was something I hadn't really anticipated. I wasn't sure whether to be grossed out or more aroused by this new discovery.

I took a deep breath, feeling nervous again for a second. I very gently explored with my fingertips, noting the way it was all laid out. I was already familiar with my anatomy of course, but I had never really paid attention to how it all felt. The outer part with hair wasn't nearly as sensitive as the inner folds, which was the first discovery I made. Intrigued and unable to stop touching myself I stroked my fingertips from bottom to top, quickly finding out that there was something fantastic to be discovered when I touched a small bundle of nerves near the top, where the inner set of lips seemed to come together. I yelped again, my hips bucking against my own hand as I investigated the new find, feeling a tiny hard bump of flesh underneath some sort of soft hood.

I fiddled with it, using the loose skin around it to manipulate it this way and that, immediately feeling feverish and my entire mind and body focused on that one single point. My breathing heaved in and out of my chest as I panted. I shuddered, nearly unable to take the intense sensations, but unable to stop. It was simply too much and I whined, needing some sort of release of the tension. I wondered insanely if there was an end to this, or if it would simply continue, getting higher and hotter until I simply died. Obviously my mind had ceased logical thought a while back.

The pleasure was incredible, I never wanted it to stop, and yet I needed it to stop at the same time. It was too much and not enough and I was caught somewhere in the middle. I whined again, desperate for something, my fingers quickly finding a particular pattern that felt best, shifting every now and then to something better, sometimes losing it entirely and having to find it again. It was somewhat strange and uncoordinated and a little frustrating at times, but it seemed to work over all.

It all seemed to coalesce, the pleasure becoming much greater, my fingers working faster, until suddenly I reached what I had unknowingly been striving for, what my body had instinctively known it wanted without my knowledge. It was incredible, the pleasure suddenly peaking to an insane height, everything feeling so fantastic for a few impossible seconds as my body shuddered and bucked, spasming in the wake of something so unexpectedly intense. I could feel myself clenching repeatedly, muscles deep inside me that I hadn't even known existed pulsing in a highly pleasurable manner.

After a moment of hanging there, gently touching that little nub to prolong the wonderful sensations, the little bundle of nerves became incredibly sensitive, painfully so, and I quickly took my hand away, unable to tolerate the sensation. I collapsed, everything going limp, all the tension melting from my body. And I felt so incredibly satisfied that my mind refused to do anything like thinking for a good few minutes.

After simply lying on my bed, relaxing for who-knows-how-long I got up and took a shower, feeling kind of sticky and gross now.

* * *

 **End of Explicit content…You're safe now. :3**

* * *

After getting dressed and after the flush had died from my cheeks I decided to leave my room and go find something to do. But that turned out to be kind of impossible, because as soon as I got in the same room as Gaara, I discovered that I was even more acutely aware of his scent now. Now that I had pursued that sensation to its conclusion, and knew what exactly it was that my body was asking for, I found being in his arousing scent even more difficult to bear.

Yet in a way, recognizing all the little muscle clenches and the way my body reacted, helped to make it a little easier…well, maybe not easier, but I could understand it better.

Except that, now that I knew what exactly went into pursuing that, remembering what I had to do to relieve those tensions immediately building up low in my belly, it was amazingly embarrassing. And the fact that it was _Gaara_ , that it was _his_ scent that aroused me to such a degree, meant that my body wanted him in _that_ way. It was strangely disturbing. The thought of doing _anything_ that I had just done to myself, with Gaara, was absolutely terrifying. I simply couldn't imagine ever being that vulnerable with anyone, ever.

When I had reached my peak, it was the most intense thing I had ever experienced. Absolutely everything melted away, all my carefully constructed guards, all those barriers, disappeared entirely, and I knew immediately that that was literally the most vulnerable I could ever be. Both emotionally and physically.

I could never have imagined just how intense it was until I did it, and now that I had, just the idea of doing something like that with Gaara was so incredibly terrifying, and yet so intensely arousing at the same time, that I simply couldn't deal with it.

So I went back to my room. I would have to practice with that towel, learn how to suppress this newfound desire. I didn't regret doing what I had done, but I decided that I wouldn't do it again. It made everything so much more difficult, and for me to learn how to control this thing I would have to control it with an iron fist, and that meant no more indulgences.

And so I found myself, once again on my bed, with my head buried in that damned towel. This time though, I acknowledged the way my body was reacting, but simply let myself grow accustomed to it slowly. I did nothing to increase the heat pulsating through my body from his smell. Though I desperately wanted to touch myself, to take it further, I didn't, instead just forcing myself to get used to the semi-aroused state.

I quickly found that being in such a state for a prolonged period of time was apparently not something my body liked to do, and I grew incredibly frustrated. The physical discomfort was intense, the sexual frustration driving my temper through the roof. Yet I forced myself to endure, figuring that through sheer overexposure, I would eventually have to grow used to it, at which point I would hopefully be able to control it.

It didn't happen, at least not the first day I tried it, nor the second day, or the third. I slowly got a little better at it, a little more used to the frustration and the physical sensation of aching. And that's how I spent a good amount of time for the next few days, determined to at least do this, now that I couldn't leave the house to train.

After all, unless I was able to get this stupid attraction to his scent completely under control, I would be unable to be with Gaara, the way that I desperately longed to do. I missed the way we used to hang out. I missed being able to talk to him without having to force myself to not jump him. I just missed…him. With an ache that hurt far worse than the ache inside of me from the sexual frustration.

I left my room for meals, and to socialize just a little, testing my boundaries to see if I had improved at all. It seemed as though I was slowly improving, slowly adjusting to being around Gaara. Yet at the same time, forcing my body go through this level of tension on a near constant basis, with no outlet, was starting to get to me and my levels of aggression began to increase.

Sure, I could stand to be in a room with Gaara longer than a minute without wanting to do things with him, things that just the simple thought of terrified me. Or, at least, even if I still wanted to, I could suppress it or ignore it. But that small accomplishment came at the cost of wanting to kill him instead.

I found even the smallest irritant to be immediate grounds for homicide. Not that I actually _tried_ to kill anyone. I still didn't actually want to hurt anyone, but the violence that I felt in my anger measured up to that nevertheless.

And it sucked. Big time.

 **Author's Note:**

Okay, so, why make such a detailed scene with Ren? Because I find detail to be important, that's why. And it's simply more complicated for girls than it is for guys, let's be real honest here. So yeah. Plus, obviously it brought up some new, wonderful issues. Just in case no-one has figured this out yet…Ren is fucked up. Poor Ren. But no worries, all of these issues will be worked out eventually…so never fear.

On to the next chapter!

 **Chapter 25**

It had been about a week, a week of hard towel training, and now I was finally able to be in the same room as Gaara. I was still incredibly cranky and frustrated, but at least I wasn't in any danger of jumping his bones. Which was how I found myself in my current predicament.

I sighed, feeling the familiar sensations of heat bubbling up inside of me as I scented Gaara walking behind me. I was sitting in one of the arm chairs in the living room, reading a book, or at least attempting to do so. Despite being able to be around Gaara, he still distracted me enough that it was difficult for me to concentrate on anything, making it very difficult to read at the moment.

I sighed again, trying to force my eyes to comprehend the words currently wiggling across the page. They were being very uncooperative. I was trying to read a text on various methods for controlling chakra, since I hadn't been able to train in a while. That was probably another reason why I had been so incredibly angry lately. Not having exerted enough physical energy was driving the poor kitty up the wall inside my head. Which naturally translated to me nearly going insane.

I groaned and set the book down in my lap, rubbing my eyes.

"Having problems?" Temari's voice came from behind my head, and I didn't have to look at her to know she was smirking.

I growled. She always managed to pick the worst times to tease me about the whole scent issue. I ignored her, picking my book back up and trying to read once again.

"What'cha reading?"

"A book." I growled.

"No shit." There was a long sarcastic pause, in which I managed to re-read the same three words five times.

Naturally as soon as I barely managed to get back into the rhythm of my eyes properly going over the page, Gaara passed back behind me. I snarled as immediately my eyes went fuzzy again, causing Temari to snicker from directly behind me.

I didn't know what Gaara was doing, but for the past hour he had been going back and forth behind me every couple of minutes, his scent only gone long enough for me to read one line at a time. It was really starting to piss me off and I felt that warning itch start up in my eyes. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and forced myself to calm down. Or at least that was the plan, until Temari decide to play the ' _let's piss Ren off'_ game.

"So…how's it going?"

I snarled, giving up on reading and just staring straight ahead, doing my best to convince myself that I should not attack Temari.

"Getting distracted are we?"

I kept myself in my chair, but only barely, having to grip the armrests with my hands to physically restrain myself.

"I wonder what's distracting you so much?"

"Aside from you?" I growled, my voice taking on that dangerous tone that meant I was getting uncomfortably close to killing someone.

She ignored me, for once being dumber that Kankuro. "Oh please, I saw how much trouble you were having reading that book long before I came over here. You were on one page for at least thirty minutes."

Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to think about something else, anything else, something happy. It wasn't working too well.

Kankuro picked that moment to enter, lazily walking past the room with his hands in his pockets, just having gotten home. I saw him stall midstride and then lean back, looking in on what was probably a very interesting scene, Temari leaning over me, me sitting in the chair with an open, ignored book in my lap and shaking with restrained rage.

"Yo, what's goin' on?" He drawled, altering his route to enter the room.

"Oh nothing much, just asking Ren how she was getting along in her reading."

"Uh huh. Yeah. Well, if I were you I would leave her to it, 'cause I don't know if you noticed, but she looks like she might rip you a new one any moment." Kankuro casually observed, for once being the more intelligent of the two. He took his own advice and exited the room, going back to whatever he was doing before.

I waited to see if she would take her brother's advice. Naturally she was much too stubborn for that. She seemingly completely ignored his presence entirely, going right back to what she was saying before. "Perhaps it was Gaara that's got you in such a state?"

Once again I gripped my aggression and strangled it, doing my very best to simply ignore Temari.

"Hmm, you're not very talkative right now are you?"

I was interrupted from my internal monologue of _I must stay still, I mustn't kill her, Temari's my friend, I really don't want to hurt her, I'm just pissed off, I mustn't do anything I will regret later …_ by my cat who had finally had enough, woken up from a nap by my level of irritation.

 _ **What the hell is going on? Oh, it's her again. She sure does have a knack for pissing you off doesn't she?**_

Miss Kitty's voice was the last thing I needed to hear in conjunction with Temari's nagging.

"Perhaps it's that hormonal cat you told me about? Cat got your tongue?"

 _ **Say what?! That rude little bitch … I say we kill her.**_

I snarled. Having to fight both my own irritation along with Kitty's was intense, and turned out to be impossible. My control snapped and I was out of the chair faster than I could stop myself. I stood and wrestled with myself, holding myself forcibly in place.

"Whoops, looks like I teased a little too much." Temari chuckled. "All I have to do is say ' _Gaara_ ' and…"

That was it.

Grabbing the discarded book off the ground, I spun and hurled it at her head. She managed to duck, but only just barely, and the book went whizzing through the air at high velocity, going between Kankuro and Gaara who were talking in the hallway, and hitting the wall with an incredibly loud bang, where it split neatly down the spine, sending pages flying every which way.

Gaara and Kankuro both froze, their conversation abruptly halted by the speedy projectile whipping past their noses. They both observed the one half of the cover that was embedded in the wall and still faintly vibrating, and then slowly looked at the other half of the book lying on the ground, pages still fluttering through the air. One of the pages landed neatly on Kankuro's head. After a long pause, they slowly turned their heads to look at Temari, who was still crouched, her eyes a little wide and one ponytail undone from where one corner of the book had neatly severed the band holding it in place.

I stood, my breath heaving in and out of my chest, and from the sharpness of everything I knew my eyes were glowing. I turned and exited the room, everyone's eyes following me silently. I left to go to my room. I opened the door, probably using a little more force than necessary, and certainly closed it with a bang.

I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands, abruptly feeling like crying. Why couldn't I control myself better? They had been nice enough to let me into their home for goodness sake, and here I was being rude and losing my temper at them. I hated it. I hated my inability to control this new rage that just seemed to get worse and worse.

Everything lately had been escalating. It wasn't just rage; all these new animalistic instincts were driving me up the wall. I was hungry, much more so than I had ever been before in my whole life. I ate more than I ever had, but I tried my best not to eat too much, afraid that I would gain too much weight. And yet it seemed like I was losing weight, my frame becoming more lean and muscular day by day as my metabolism went through the roof. The hunger had gotten to the point that it had been affecting my sleep. And when I finally got to sleep, my dreams would be so vivid, that I would wake up again almost immediately.

The enhanced senses had also been bothering me. Although it was actually quite fascinating and in some ways wonderful, being able to hear so much more meant that some noises actually hurt my ears now. I hadn't bled again since the assessment, but sometimes I had gotten excruciating headaches. And while smelling so much more was quite interesting on occasion, and I gotten to smell some very lovely smells, it also meant that sometimes I would smell something that would make me lose my lunch.

And then of course, there was Gaara's scent. The cat was right when she said I wanted him … I was still mad at her for that. I mean I loved the guy, not that I let myself think about it too much, especially now.

I shook my head at all my pointless thoughts. But it was true, being around Gaara lately had been … difficult, even with all my training. It had been a couple of weeks since ' _the incident_ ,' as I referred to my utter lack of willpower that had led to me touching myself. I had been training myself ruthlessly, forcing myself to endure the scent of Gaara and accompanying sensations for hours at a time, and I had finally gained some control over myself, although I still slipped up on a regular basis and snapped at people, sometimes even acting violently. Like just now.

What was frustrating was that I was still attracted to him in all the familiar ways. His gaze still sent shivers down my spine. I still wanted to run my fingers through his blood red hair. I still wanted to trace the kanji on his forehead with my fingers … and possibly my tongue.

I flinched and shook myself out of those thoughts... no use entertaining thoughts like that, it would just make everything worse.

But it was true, I still wanted to be around him, still wanted to at least be able to be physically near him. All of that remained the same, yet now I had to deal with his scent. The scent of his sweat when he had been training hard, the fresh clean still somewhat soapy scent of him after a shower, that was one I had been treated to shortly after having arrived. I could even sometimes tell his emotions with scent. As it turned out, most people's scent got a little stronger when they were angry, or lustful. Not that I had ever sensed any kind of lust from Gaara. Thankfully. I didn't think I would be able to handle that one.

His scent still enticed the damn cat too, and that just made everything worse. I could still feel myself react physically whenever I got a little too close to Gaara, and even with all my training to try and minimize the problems I was currently experiencing, the distance at which I was comfortable in Gaara's presence was definitely much further than I used to be comfortable with. I used to be comfortable enough to be an elbow's length from him. Sure, I'd entertain a few thoughts of how much I wanted to kiss him or touch him and what not, but it was all manageable. Now though, I seriously worried that I might give something away. My body couldn't react so strongly without some sort of outward sign to indicate how I felt, and that's where I got nervous.

I groaned. The whole thing just made me so much more pissed off and made the unnatural rage harder to control. The constant towel training probably hadn't helped my temper issues either. Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to push myself so hard.

Naturally, it was at this point in my train of thoughts that Gaara's scent punched me in the nose, making my stomach drop like I had jumped off a cliff and then do a bunch of stupid somersaults. I hadn't even heard the door to my bedroom open. I slowly raised my head, just enough so I could glare over my fingertips, my head having been previously resting in my palms.

"What?" I growled, once again rude and hostile. I chided myself.

He raised a non-existent eyebrow, took a few steps inside and then closed the door, making his scent just a little stronger and my temper just a little more volatile. I raised my head fully then, trying not to notice how his hair glowed in the light coming in from the window, or how his jade green eyes made my neck tickle with a few sweat drops. Being this attracted to him honestly made me want to punch him … I don't know why. Maybe I just wasn't able to handle things very well. This was exactly why I had been avoiding looking directly at him lately, but that was kind of difficult when he was inside my room with me.

I glared at him. Being angry at him was better than ruining our friendship over something as stupid as lust. He took another step closer to the bed, and my hackles rose. He needed to keep his distance for this to work.

"What?" I growled again, a little louder and a little more aggressive, at this point I didn't care if I was being rude. I didn't want him to get any closer or we would have a problem.

He just stared, his unblinking gaze intimidating, and strangely erotic, but maybe that was the built up tension talking. I needed to find some way to get rid of all this pressure. I wouldn't be able to take it much longer. He stepped closer. Surely he could see that I was aggravated. He couldn't be doing this on purpose right? It was hard to know, his gaze did seem to have a slight calculating glint to it, as if he was judging how far he could push me before I snapped.

Well he was about to find out if he kept up this silent personal space invasion act.

One more step was all it took before I finally broke. I leapt from my sitting position and stood, practically vibrating with tension. I growled, feeling like a cornered animal and not appreciating the sensation in the least.

"Gaara …." I growled in warning, letting him know that he was pushing my limits. He kept up the stare, his eyes looking into mine with enough intent that I was getting seriously ruffled.

He was definitely trying to push me, and I didn't know why, but I didn't like it.

He stepped closer. I backed away. He cocked an invisible eyebrow again. That was all it took, that cocked eyebrow for me to yell and throw something. It was the first thing my hand could reach and it happened to be a rather large heavy book. It wasn't a good day for books. He simple sidestepped it. That pissed me off even more. I threw something else, again, not really aware of what I was throwing. He sidestepped everything I threw at him and it infuriated me.

I lunged, going in for a swipe, not even noticing that my claws had come out. He dodged. I screamed bloody murder and launched myself at him, not even really sure what all I was doing, certainly not planning out an attack, just randomly punching, clawing, kicking, even trying for a few bites here and there. I had completely lost control.

He blocked all my attacks, sometimes having to use his sand, but mostly just blocking physically or dodging.

After a while it seemed to start to tick him off. I disengaged, leapt away, landed on the wall and used it to kick off, soaring over his head and landing behind him. His sand swirled to protect him, but my wind came out to play, colliding in what would appear to be an explosion of sand. Suddenly the room was a sand storm, my wind and his sand doing battle outside of our will, making it difficult to see anything, which was perfect.

I crouched, hunting him, acting solely on instinct. Seeing an opening, I lunged, landing on his back, and my teeth sunk into the back of his neck. My sharpened teeth broke his skin easily enough and I got a mouthful of his blood. A sound escaped him, something between a growl and a yell.

He reached back, grabbed my hair, and bucked his shoulders and back forwards, sending me over his back, my teeth releasing his neck on threat of having a tooth pulled. I landed on my back, hard, with him crouched over me, his hand still gripping my hair. I found myself staring up into his eyes, and one of them had gone black and gold.

His dangerous mix-matched gaze sent a violent shiver through me. I recognized the danger in that gaze, and yet I was still drawn him. I wasn't prepared for the bolt of hot desire that went through my body and stole my breath. It was probably the proximity, his scent had completely eclipsed any other smell, and it felt like we were in our own little world, what with the curtain of raging sand and wind blocking most of the room from view.

I gasped, and could literally _feel_ my eyes dilating, my heart picking up from its already heightened state to beat jackrabbit fast against the skin of my throat. Having already lost control of myself I felt myself slipping into a very dangerous situation, and the last tiny shred of logical thought struggled against the abyss, forcing me to acknowledge the situation.

I panicked. _I have to get away from him!_

Being so close to him, and being in this out of control state, feeling like this, it could only lead to disaster, the ending of our precious friendship. I refused to allow it. In my panic I clawed blindly, forcing him to jump away, but still managing to cut his cheek.

He landed on one side of the room and I scrambled into a crouch on the other side. We locked eyes, and he growled, the sound rumbling up from his chest, his eyes as wild as mine. I guess I must have triggered something when I bit him. _Whoops._

This time it was Gaara that attacked first. I still hadn't fully recovered from my mishap, so I dodged, scrambling to avoid his lunge, our sand and wind mimicking us. My wind mirrored my emotional state and scattered, becoming frayed and disjointed. His sand, able to regroup, became something much more dangerous.

We landed on either side of the room again, my wind swirling around me and his sand swirling around him. He stalked towards me, his sand weaving sinuously around him, like coiled snakes ready to strike. My wind reflected me, and fluttered inanely, like a bird in its cage, much like my heart. His enraged eyes met mine, one still black and gold, both piercing in intensity.

I gasped and backed away, crouched, slinking low to the ground. Even Kitty had her ears back, huddled in the back of my mind. Even she knew we were in deep shit. I knew I could take him, that wasn't the problem. Right now I was still reeling from emotional whiplash of unadulterated rage, to indescribable lust, to terror and panic in the course of a few minutes.

He backed me into a corner, and his sand crawled in, sneaking in between my weakened defenses and slithering up my legs. I gasped, yelped, and tried to jump away, but it was too late, I had already been captured. The sand constricted, leaving me no wiggle room. It circled my ankles, crept up around my calves and then my thighs in ropes, again reminding me of snakes. While his sand slowly made its way up my body he slowly stalked closer and closer, letting his sand immobilize me, a lazy predator confidant in his catch.

It was the over confidant gleam in his eye, his cocky evil smile, the deep chuckle that made my hair stand on end and my toes curl. And it was my own body, my own body that rebelled against the obviously deadly situation, and reacted in the _completely_ wrong way to his sand creeping up my body. It slithered up my thighs, over my hips, up my belly, and around my back, over my breasts, and up to my neck where it wrapped a little too tightly. Everywhere he touched, even though it was just his sand and not his skin, I became hypersensitive, the nerves standing to attention in a way that I had only experienced once before, my breath now coming in pants for a reason completely separate from physical exertion. It was all these things that pissed me off.

I hated that I had no control over my body, and that even with something like this, a situation in which he could kill me, I was aroused by him. It was absolutely infuriating. And what was worse was that I knew he didn't feel the same way. By the time he had stalked close enough to invade my personal bubble, his face pressed much too closely for my comfort, sending everything into a tailspin within me, I was shaking with anger.

I was horny as hell, sure, but I was also utterly pissed off. Strange how those two go together so well.

I hissed, directly in his face, since it was uncomfortably close to mine, and bared my teeth. I registered his eyes popping open in surprise as my wind reacted to my fury and wormed its way underneath my sandy bindings and allowed me to escape.

I clawed the air, my wind extending my reach. Had he not put up a sand shield, he would have been very bloody. As it was, the wall was left with some very odd claw marks. We recommenced battle, our sand and wind surging with us, extensions of us, duking it out as we fought tooth and nail against each other.

I swiped at his face. He blocked and punched me in the stomach, and my air left me for a few seconds. I dropped, but used the move to swing a leg around and knock Gaara's feet out from under him. He fell, but caught himself and twisted into a crouch. He sprung to his feet, and into my space, coming in close and grabbing my shirt by the collar, bringing me nose to nose with him. Literally. I growled into his face and my teeth snapped a hairsbreadth from his nose as he pulled back.

He growled, like me, and his other eye flickered black for a second. Then his teeth were bared in a creepy Cheshire grin … and his teeth looked a little sharp. He lunged and we were suddenly struggling against each other, up close and personal. He wrapped one arm around my neck and the other grabbed at my shirt, yanking me closer to him. I scrabbled against him, clawing one of his arms a little. He hissed and released my shirt in order to reach down and grab that wrist. Then his hold around my neck loosened for a second to get his arm around my shoulders instead, which pinned my other arm to my side.

I growled and bucked in his firm hold, squirming as I tried to get free. I snapped at his neck, since it was pretty close to me. Before I could get my fangs into his skin, his head came down and knocked my face away from him, his cheekbone banging against mine. And then _his_ teeth bit into _my_ shoulder.

I yowled and snarled, infuriated by the bite. I jerked so violently that I dislodged him just enough to get one hand in and slash my claws across his stomach. Which didn't do a lot since he had on sand armor, but the force with which I used them actually cut through the sand a little, just enough to shock him into letting me go.

I darted away, before lunging back in, ready for more. We went back and forth like this for some time, trading blows until we both had a smattering of bloody scratches and fresh bruises and a few odd bite marks. It slowly exhausted both of us.

We disengaged for a second, both gasping for breath. Neither of us was quite done though. I lunged again, this time going for a plain old nose punch. He dodged, my fist sailing past his head. He grabbed that arm and used it to swing me into the wall. My back hit the wall, hard, the abrupt impact forcing a choked gasp out from my suddenly constricted lunges. It didn't help that his weight suddenly body slammed into mine, pinning me harshly against the wall. His chest and hips crashed into mine with a rather impressive impact. I coughed again, the breath doubly shoved out of my body, leaving me gasping for breath, unable to draw it back into my lungs for a minute.

Gaara took advantage of my temporary floundering and buried one of his hands in the hair at the base of my skull, near the nape of my neck, and clinched a handful, jerking my head back, lifting my chin and exposing my throat, so that I now had to look up at him. Strangely enough I hadn't quite noticed how much taller he was than me till now. He must have grown a few inches when I wasn't looking. Seemed like he did that a lot. Every time we ended up nose to nose in one of these situations he had grown a little taller. Now he was at least three inches taller than me.

His other hand managed to capture one of my wrists and pinned it to the wall beside my head. My free hand went to grab a fistful of his shirt at his side, trying to shove him off me that way. I tried to bring a knee up, but he didn't give me enough room, his thighs easily blocking the move, my legs were just about pinned to the wall by his.

His lips slowly spread into that slightly too wide smile, the one that made him look evil and also made my stomach do weird things. He looked incredibly creepy and unbearably sexy, at the same time, which was something that I think only Gaara could really pull off.

We were both panting for breath, me only after I was able to pull air again into my lungs. The fight had left us both insanely winded, and I could feel his hot, rapid breath hitting my face and neck. We were both sweating, and with the way our bodies were pressed so closely together the heat was getting stifling, and it was getting uncomfortably sticky. Strangely, in my heightened state, this didn't seem as gross as it normally would. My heart was pounding in my chest and at my throat, and I supposed that Gaara could probably feel how fast it was beating against his chest, since I could feel his pounding against mine.

My attention was split between so many things at once that it was difficult to concentrate. A good portion of my concentration was absorbed by the intensity of his gaze, his piercing unblinking stare fixated on mine. And on the way his smile slowly, ever so slowly, receded until his face was almost normal, except for his lips which were slightly parted to accommodate his panting and the light flush on his cheeks. I watched, fascinated by the way his eyes slowly lost the wildness, the bloodlust and insanity, the black and gold melting away, his pale jade green eyes mellowing just a tad, but not much. Their intensity seemed less angry and more of something else. His eyes grew a little wider than normal, almost displaying some sort of shock.

Another part of my attention was on the hand in my hair, now just a tad more relaxed, only just not painful anymore, but still firmly holding me captive, forcing my eyes to continue to meet his. My attention was also drawn to the fact that my left wrist was still in his iron grip by my head and my right hand was still clenched in his shirt.

I was excruciatingly aware of just how close we were and how our bodies pressed into each other. For one thing, I definitely did not like the way the buckles across his stomach and chest dug into my flesh. He had crushed me to the wall with so much pressure, enough to feel his hipbones thrusting into my abdomen slightly above my own, which were probably digging into his uppermost thighs where they joined his hips. I could feel how muscular his stomach was, unrelenting in its pressure against mine. In fact there was no softness to his body.

I was surprised to discover that he was not only lean and muscular, as I had already known, but was in fact _all_ muscle. I had seen some of his upper body, but feeling those muscles pressed into me was a completely different ballgame. The full body contact was sending my blood pressure through the roof, making it very difficult for me to maintain eye contact, sure that my eyes were much too dilated again and giving my crazy mess of feelings away.

Naturally, it was at this moment that Kankuro barged in. He was somewhat out of breath and saying something about someone saying something about loud crashing noises coming from my room. I didn't pay much attention. He abruptly fell silent when he saw us, and I could tell out of the corner of my eye that he was gaping. Given our intimate position I'm sure we were quite the sight and I certainly didn't blame him for gaping.

I guess Gaara hadn't fully come down from the fight, because after a full minute of refusing to acknowledge Kankuro's presence his head _very_ slowly turned in that direction. He must have given Kankuro a really nasty look because Kankuro made some sort of weird choking noise. When I tried to turn my head to see what was happening, Gaara's fist just tightened, not allowing my head to budge from its current position. I flinched just a little. He was so damn bossy when he got all riled up and pissy.

Kankuro, ever the dunce, said, "Wow, you guys tore the room apart huh? Must have been some pretty wild se…" He was cut off by the menacing growl that crawled its way out of Gaara's throat. "Whoa! Whoa! Okay man, I get it, uh…sorry for interrupting."

He left, slamming the door behind him. I closed my eyes, relieved that he was gone, but not particularly happy in the position I still found myself in. Gaara held me pinned against the wall for a few more moments, his head still turned from mine, and I saw his eyes close from the corner of my eye and felt him take a deep breath, his chest moving against me in a very interesting way. And then released me, moving away a few steps.

I slid down the wall and sat with my knees up, propping my arms on them and letting my head lean against the wall, still panting from exertion and now from arousal as well. I just hoped it wasn't as obvious as it felt.

Gaara stayed silent, his arms crossed, eyes slitted. He seemed a little uncomfortable.

Despite feeling exhausted and aroused, surprisingly I was actually rather relaxed, much more so than I had been since being cooped up under house arrest. All the building tension and rage had been released, the pressure inside me easing. The realization had me bringing my head up in surprise. "Did you pick a fight with me on purpose?" I asked in shock.

His subtle smug grin was all the answer I needed. I laughed, truly taken by surprise by his ingenuity. He chuckled, the sound going right through me as always, making me tense up a little again.

"How did you know I needed this?" I questioned, not really considering how the question sounded.

His eyes met mine. "I've been there. Remember?"

"Oh." I blinked. "Right. Of course." No wonder he knew how much I needed to exert some energy. He had Shukaku to deal with. Then I snorted. "Hey how about from now on we just spar regularly until I can learn how to control this thing? Maybe then we won't completely destroy your house."

He grinned a little and agreed.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So...two more chapters...woohoo. :3


	57. Burn With Me: Chapter 26 & 27

**Chapter 26**

A few days later, I woke up, in my normal excessively loud and annoying manner. I woke screaming and shuddering, terrified beyond belief, and in so much emotional pain I thought I might just pass out. I groaned. _Oh great, this again._

Often enough I would wake up from a nightmare, which seemed like it had been worse than the others, and I never could remember it. I sort of just assumed that occasionally I would have a nightmare that was so bad my mind simply refused to remember it, and that was fine by me. I knew many people didn't remember their dreams, I just wished I could remember even less of mine. So, after I stabilized, I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, got dressed, and left my room to go downstairs and round up some breakfast.

On the landing, right outside my room, I ran smack dab, literally, into Gaara. Who had obviously just stepped out of the shower. He was still moist. I hissed and covered my mouth and nose, the intensity of the actual physical contact made a hundred times more intense by the major dose of freshly washed Gaara smell that had punched me rather rudely in the nose. My eyes narrowed dangerously and I knew they turned blue, based on the uncomfortable prickly sensation and the way I could suddenly see every tiny little drop of water beading up on his pale skin. And there was plenty of pale skin, because he didn't have on a shirt.

And that was fantastic and horrible on so many levels that I couldn't even start to untangle the mess of thoughts and feelings going through my head as I took in his naked torso.

His eyes widened and he froze, perhaps worried that I was about to attack. And that was a distinct possibility actually. Although I highly doubted that he really had any idea of exactly what that attack would entail. I swallowed thickly and slowly walked backwards a few steps, closing my eyes against the better view of his upper body. With my eyes still safely shut, I stiffly turned and forced myself to walk away.

 _ **What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU!**_ Kitty roared in my head making me wince.

I grumbled, stiffly walking away from Gaara, who I could sense from smell and sound hadn't moved an inch since I had run into him.

 _ **We HAD him. Right there, you could have taken him right there! Are you just a prude or something?**_

 _No! Would you please just shut the hell up!_

 _ **Do you enjoy being sexually frustrated? Huh?!**_

 _There's no other option! Shut up you damn feline!_

 _ **Are you planning on being a virgin for the rest of your LIFE!?**_

I hissed and growled, "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" and smacked the side of my own head with my palm, knocking it against the wall hard enough to shut her up, giving the both of us stars and a nasty headache. I staggered a few steps, ignoring the gaping weirded-out look from Kankuro, who had just walked up the stairs in time to see my little internal argument.

"Morning, Kankuro. If you leave your mouth open, you'll catch flies." I muttered as I walked by him, his head slowly turning to watch me as I passed. His mouth closed with an audible click.

I heard him ask Gaara softly, "What the hell just happened man?" and I didn't stick around to find out how Gaara responded, feeling much too worked up.

I went down to the kitchen to escape Gaara and his dastardly scent for a moment, trying valiantly to ignore the way the front of my shirt was ever so slightly damp from bumping against his moist skin. I groaned and put my hands on the kitchen counter, leaning against them for a moment. After a few deep breaths I got myself under control, having a much better grasp on everything since releasing all my pent up aggression on Gaara a few days ago. But I could feel the tension building up again, and knew that I would have to go spar again sometime soon, otherwise things would start getting ugly again. I took another deep breath and went about making myself breakfast, completely back to normal by the time Kankuro and Gaara joined me in the kitchen.

"Eggs?" I asked mildly, stirring the pan and sprinkling some salt and spices over the yellow mess.

"Um…sure?" Kankuro asked, sounding like he still wasn't sure if I was all there in the head.

I snorted, not looking at him but able to picture his expression. The eggs were quickly done and I separated them into three bowls. I plopped the two extra in front of Gaara and Kankuro, both of who were watching me warily. Kankuro quite a bit more obviously than Gaara.

"Oh stop looking at me like that…" I muttered, eating my eggs.

"So…uh…you wanna talk about what happened earlier?" Kankuro asked, sounding slightly amused but also a little disturbed.

"Not really." I grumbled.

"So knocking your own head into the wall is a normal occurrence for you?" Kankuro asked pleasantly.

"Oh shut up smart ass."

He chuckled. "Good to see your sense of humor is still intact despite the blunt force trauma."

I snorted, more amused than irritated. "I was just trying to shut up kitty cat." I prodded my temple with a finger to illustrate.

"Oh." Kankuro said simply, looking a little uncomfortable.

I sighed, noting how Kankuro still hadn't quite assimilated the fact that I now had a feline renter in my brain, unlike Temari who was probably _too_ comfortable with the fact.

"Is it talking to you on a regular basis?" I was surprised to hear Gaara's raspy voice inquire.

I hadn't really talked about it much with him, and actually now that I thought about it, I hadn't talked to him much at all since getting her stuffed inside me. His question actually reminded me of a similar question I had asked him about Shukaku. It seemed so long ago now, a time from _before_ , when I had been comfortable enough to be in a hot spring with him in just our underwear.

I met his eyes, the understanding glint in them comforting me, and I was poignantly reminded that he also had dealt with this problem. Not that I had ever forgotten, but I had gotten so wrapped up in my own issues that it had sort of slipped my mind.

"Yeah, she can be a little chatty sometimes." I answered his question.

 _ **I am not chatty.**_

I rolled my eyes. _You're talking right now aren't you?_

 _ **Hmph.**_

 _You just like to contradict me._

 _ **I do not.**_

 _You just did._

 _ **Well aren't you a smart little kitten.**_ She snarled, sounding a little ticked off, but also a little amused.

I sighed and shook my head. Going back to eating my eggs.

"She certainly seems chatty today." Gaara noted. I guess he could tell I was having an internal dialogue by the faces I was making.

I blinked, slightly surprised by how observant he was. "Yeah, well she's been feeling a little better ever since we worked off all that energy the other day. Actually, I was wondering if we could do it again today."

Kankuro choked on his eggs. I looked over at him, confused. And then I remembered what he had said when he had walked in on us and scowled, having a pretty good idea of what he was thinking.

He quickly got himself under control enough to choke out, "Wow. You really think that's appropriate breakfast conversation? I mean I'm happy for you two love birds and all, but can you not talk about _doing it_ in front of me?"

I snarled. "Get your mind out of the gutter would you? I was talking about sparring not…whatever it is you're implying."

"Oh _suuure_. Sparring. _Right_. Of course. Is that what I walked in on the other day? Cause it sure as hell looked like …"

"Kankuro…" Gaara drawled, getting that particularly dangerous tone that meant the conversation was over.

"Eh, right."

I just sighed, knowing that Kankuro wasn't going to let it drop that easily, and would just bring it up again some other time, when Gaara wasn't glaring at him evilly.

"So … while Kankuro is taking a short hiatus from being…well, himself. Do you have time to go to the training grounds and **spar** today?" I enunciated very clearly, just in case Kankuro misunderstood again. He snorted, apparently appreciating the extra effort.

Gaara nodded.

We finished breakfast without any more nonsense, but naturally as Gaara and I set out for the training field Kankuro had to comment, "Have fun _sparring_!" adding just a little too much emphasis on the last word. When I turned to scowl at him, he waggled his eyebrows while smirking.

"Ass." I muttered, turning and walking out the door to his chuckles.

Once on the training field I stalled. Thankfully we had one of the larger fields all to ourselves, it still being relatively early in the day. I was a little nervous though, despite knowing that I needed to work off some steam. I intensely remembered how our last fight had gone, with me ending up against the wall, pinned by Gaara.

In fact, most of the time our sparring sessions ended with me either against the wall or the floor. It actually made me wonder if Gaara got some sort of pleasure out of pinning me down. Maybe he had some sort of dominant streak or something. I snorted at that thought. _Of course he does, who am I kidding, just look at the bossy little brat he used to be_. And still was, in very special circumstances. Maybe there was just something about me that brought out the bossiness in him… _lucky me._

 _Yeah, these thoughts aren't going to help me at all_. I thought depreciatingly, knowing that I was just making everything worse.

 _ **What's wrong? Scared? Aw, the poor baby kitten…scared of a little physical contact.**_

 _You shut up!_ I snarled, the sound audible and coming from the snarl in my mind. I sensed Gaara tense ever so slightly next to me. _Whoops._

 _ **Ohhh…scary. Go get him tiger.**_

"Why you little…!" I accidently said out loud, flushing as I realized my mental argument was becoming audible, again.

I heard Gaara chuckle softly next to me, the sound going right through me in a very pleasant way. I liked his deep raspy chuckle much more than I should. "Is she giving you issues?"

"Um, yeah, kind of." I chuckled, a little embarrassed.

I hesitated for a moment on the edge of the field, Gaara waiting patiently beside me. I really didn't want him to know that I was nervous. That would just be humiliating.

He interrupted my internal struggle. "If she starts to get out of control, we can stop."

I startled and then breathed out a sigh of relief, realizing that he thought I was worried about losing control of her… instead of the other thing. I nodded, forcing myself onto the field, knowing that if I didn't get all this tension worked out some way, it would come out in less controlled ways, mainly by making it difficult for me to be around Gaara. And I really didn't want to start throwing books at people again.

I took a stance, ignoring the way kitty cat was teasing me in my head. _**Oh look at him. Don't you just want to eat him up?**_

I growled softly, trying to tone out her goading. She was intentionally trying to get me worked up, hoping that I would lose control in a completely improper way.

 _ **Come on, please? Just a little taste? You know you want to, you're the one who sunk your teeth in his neck the last time we did this remember.**_

I flushed, not needing the reminder of that particular detail. Actually … now I was curious. _I wonder if I left a mark on his neck, or if he's already healed with those super regenerative Jinchuriki powers of his._

 _ **Well, let's go find out shall we? And if it's gone we can always give him another, maybe one that will last for a while this time.**_ She purred.

I growled again, thoroughly distracted by the stupid cat. "Would you just fucking shut up and let me concentrate! Stop being so goddam hormonal all the time!"

 _ **Watch out!**_

"Shit!" I yelped, barely avoiding the stream of sand, and finding it even more difficult to dodge the fist behind it. Gaara had definitely gotten the mastery of combining sand and physical attacks, sneaking up on me from behind his sand like that had very nearly gotten me.

"Pay attention to your opponent, Ren!"He growled, and the use of my name said in that particular raspy tone definitely had me standing at attention.

I hissed as his sand swept by again, barely scrambling out of the way. It quickly became apparent that my lack of training coincided with a lapse in skill, leaving me fumbling all over the field as Gaara put me through my paces. I was worried about using my wind, still having not mastered it after all that training several weeks ago. And then it had been so long since I had practiced…

But if I didn't use it for a boost here or there I was going to lose…badly. Gaara wasn't going easy on me, sending his sand in from every direction and even coming in close for some physical blows now and then, and I quickly found myself taking the hits far too often.

I yelped as the sand smacked me around the head, making me see stars, and then Gaara lunged, grabbing me by the back of the neck, yanking me off balance, forward and down, and then bringing his knee up hard into my sternum. I coughed, my breath firmly ousted from my lungs, and I went down on my knees, wheezing and feeling a little pathetic. This was ridiculous! Gaara was literally mopping the floor with me.

As I knelt there cradling my ribs with my arms, attempting to get some air into my lungs, Gaara knelt down in front of me. "Why aren't you using your element Ren? You haven't used wind chakra since we started sparring."

I couldn't really respond for a minute or two, not until I finally could reinflate my flattened sternum. After gasping and sputtering for a moment, I managed to wheeze, "I can't control it yet. That's what I was doing before the whole house arrest thing, but since then…"

"You used it during our last fight."

"The wind was out of control. So was I. Didn't you see my eyes?"

"Yes. I saw. So by out of control, you mean that you can't use it in your jutsu?"

"I tried to lift a pebble with it, and I couldn't without sending it off in a random direction at high velocity. It took me two days just to do that, and another to do it without the pebble wobbling. I haven't tried it for speed yet. That jutsu takes a lot of control, and I'm afraid I'll send myself flying. And without enough control over my wind I wouldn't be able to break my fall. I don't care about getting hurt, but I could probably kill myself that way. I can't even do my wind blade. It always splits into claws now. And there's no way I can make a barrier jutsu. The wings would probably flatten the whole village. I can't do anything anymore." I finished, defeated, my eyes fixed on the ground, ashamed when a few tears leaked out. I felt utterly useless and pathetic.

"Ren." His raspy voice broke the silence.

I swallowed, refusing to meet his eyes.

He sighed. After a moment he said, "Instead of sparring, I will help you train. After you feel like you have remastered everything you lost, then we can spar."

I looked up, meeting his eyes, unbelieving. He couldn't possibly mean that he was willing to do this with me. The time it would take would be extensive, surely he knew that?

"For me to remaster everything I've lost…it would take too much of your time. I can't ask you to babysit me for that long." I sputtered.

"You didn't ask. I'm telling you that this is what I'm going to do. And I'm not planning on babysitting you, I won't be that gentle." I blinked, taken aback. I wasn't sure whether to be offended, grateful, or possibly aroused. But then again the later just happened willy-nilly without my say-so, so I could ignore that reaction.

"Thank you, I think…"

He chuckled, standing, and offering his hand to help me up. I swallowed and took it, the skin to skin contact a little unnerving. I let go as soon as I stood and brushed myself off.

"Shall we begin?"

"Now?" I looked up from my dusty pants and stared a little shocked into his slightly amused turquoise eyes.

"Yes. We are here after all. There's no need to waste time." He pointed out reasonably.

"Okay…"I trailed off, my mind readjusting to the change in plans.

"Why don't you begin where you left off?"

"Good idea." I nodded and found a little pebble on the ground, sitting cross legged with it in front of me. I called forth a little whirlwind to my palm, wrestling it into submission when it wanted to spin out of control. "Um you might want to move back a little for this, in case it doesn't go as planned." I mumbled, all of my attention on the task at hand.

He didn't budge from his cross legged sitting position opposite me, _confidant bastard_.

I carefully directed the little tornado onto the pebble, attempting to delicately pick it up with the turning breeze. I had it for a moment before the pebble started spinning too fast, my wind getting way too excited about being used after such a long break.

I yelped as the pebble sprung from the ground, catapulting towards my face. It was moving much too fast for me to grab it. A thin strip of sand immediately came to my defense, blocking the pebble's out of control attack. It bounced off into the field somewhere. I sighed. It appeared that I had lost some of that training I had put so much effort into.

I patted around on the ground looking for another pebble I could use, and Gaara offered a little compacted ball of sand. "Thanks." I muttered, delicately plucking it from his palm with my fingertips.

He nodded and then put his hands together, fingers up in a jutsu as sand started building a wall on all sides around us. I gasped and scooched a little closer to Gaara, watching as his infamous unbeatable sand dome defense slowly built itself around us, leaving a hole at the top for light. Anything shooting directly up probably wouldn't hurt anybody so that made perfect sense, and using a little ball of his sand meant that he could stop it if it got out of control. Having Gaara here would simplify the training immensely.

I took a deep breath and summoned another breeze, this one a little more well behaved than the last one, my training starting to come back to me a little. Once again I directed it to the little ball, using my hands this time to more tightly control my element. I mimed what I wanted, cupping my hands and holding the wind firmly in the same shape, cupping the little ball of sand delicately in the air.

I held it there as long as I could, finding the struggle to control my wind ridiculous. It was as if my overabundance of chakra was espresso to my element, making it super hyper and out of control, much too eager to do my bidding, to the point of over-doing everything. It was like trying to control a wild horse on a sugar rush.

It didn't help that my concentration was compromised by Gaara's scent, which was extremely strong inside the little sand bubble. I was supremely glad for the scent training I had forced on myself, otherwise I would definitely have made a complete fool of myself by now.

I was able to hold it for a few minutes before I gasped and the wind exploded, sending sand everywhere. Gaara and I both were tossed back on our asses, nearly knocked over completely as the wind died down. I flopped back on my back, breathing heavily.

I heard a huff and the rustle of sand that meant Gaara was sitting back up.

"See?" I said, sighing frustrated and waved a hand in the air exasperatedly.

"Perhaps it's not your element that you have to control, but how much chakra you use to summon it." He said after a moment of contemplation.

"Hmm." I thought about it. It made sense.

I sat back up and focused my concentration inside, trying to get a sense of my chakra flow. It was true, I could feel that I was accidently giving off way too much chakra, no wonder the wind was responding so vigorously. I slowed everything down a little, meditating and eventually getting a handle on just how much chakra I was emitting at any given moment.

Breathing deeply and steadily I held my chakra at a consistent steady pulse and summoned the size of breeze I wanted, finding that as long as I kept myself under control, the wind didn't fight me. I had been trying to control the wind with even more chakra, which had only managed to send it spiraling out of control.

I slowly opened my eyes and delicately plucked the ball of sand from Gaara's offering palm with a gentle breeze, staying calm as I lightly played with it through the air, rolling it this way and that, dropping it only to catch it again. It was fun, and easy, as long as I maintained chakra balance. Gaara watched, his eyes glowing in the dim light. He smiled lightly and my breath caught.

Suddenly the sand ball was moving of its own accord, as Gaara intervened, playing with me. I gasped. "Hey!" I said laughingly, chasing it with my breeze.

I caught it and played with it as Gaara directed it to escape my clutches. It was somewhat like trying to hold on to a very speedy agile mouse that no matter how you grabbed it, it always wiggled out between your fingers. I found myself laughing as I actively pursued the Gaara Ball, struggling to hold onto it.

I finally caught it, guiding my breeze to split and cage it with a delicate web of wind. "HA! I got you!"

"Not so fast…" came Gaara's raspy response.

"Huh?" The ball dissolved into a little stream of sand, easily escaping through the gaps in my net. "Oh come on Gaara…you cheater." I whined.

I send my breeze chasing after the wisp of sand as it cartwheeled teasingly through the air. I directed my breeze to entwine around it, trying to direct it but finding the little wisp very uncooperative. Now that I had full control over my little breeze I attached my senses to it, something I hadn't tried since the whole cat thing. I gasped, shocked by the level of intensity of sensory information I gathered from the little breeze, nearly able to count the individual grains making up that little brat of a wisp of sand.

It was amazing, I wondered if I could push it even further, and when I attempted to do so I very nearly zoned out, as if I was the wind now. It felt similar to the way I had heard a mind transfer jutsu described, as if I ceased to inhabit my own body. Now that I could feel everything so clearly through the little breeze, it was easy to locate the little sand puff and engage it in an intricate dance. Whenever it tried to escape I simply blocked it.

It was fun playing with the sandy wisp for a while and then curiously I expanded my reach, not paying attention to the way Gaara had scooted close to me, apparently discovering my lapse of presence. I was ignoring inputs from my body, even though I could distantly feel my eyelid being delicately lifted by a thumb and feel breath on my face and dimly heard a voice calling my name worriedly.

It was dangerously intoxicating, and I found myself expanding, taking in all the sensory input from the entire training grounds, able to sense every individual chakra signature, all the movements, the shifts in the air currents. It was amazing. Yet suddenly I grew frightened, feeling untethered and drifting, my senses stretched too broadly. I gasped and snapped back, my body jerking as all my senses returned to normal.

I blinked, gasping again as I found that Gaara was much closer than I had thought. Apparently I had been out of it, because I certainly didn't remember my face being held in between Gaara's palms as he held my eyelids open with his thumbs, looking into my eyes. As soon as I blinked, his thumbs released my eyelids, but if anything his face got closer to mine as he stared intently into my eyes, I guess trying to figure out if I had come back.

My eyes widened, as my brain unstuck from ' _holy shit_ ' mode and careened into ' _HOLY SHIT_ ' mode, working overtime to make up for the lapse. _Woah, too close. Much, much too close._

 _ **Not close enough! Not nearly close enough!**_

 _Shut up Kitty!_

I jerked back, yelping, "Gaara?!"

His hands slid off my face and onto my shoulders. "Are you okay? You seemed to … leave for a while." He asked worriedly.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. I just sort of, well it was so weird. I tried attaching a sensory jutsu to my breeze and there was so much more information. It was incredible! And then I just … sort of immersed myself I guess. It was like I left my body and was the wind, and then I could feel everything, all the different chakras and wind currents. It was…just crazy. But also a little scary. Has that ever happened to you?"

He drew back, thinking. "I've never gone outside of my body exactly. I can sense chakra through the sand. If it's someone I know really well I can sense them from miles away, as long as there's sand in between us. So in the desert I can sense much farther. I suppose I could see how you could get lost in that. It sounds very similar to the way it feels when I use my sand transportation jutsu, when I actually dissolve into the sand and can transport myself that way. Perhaps eventually you could do the same with wind."

I blinked, mildly shocked at the amount of words that had come out of his mouth. "Perhaps. Although it would take some getting used to." I sighed noting the light. "It seems like we've been out here for a while, I suppose we should head home huh?"

"If you want to."

"When can you do this again with me?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"Tomorrow."

"Really? That soon?" I gasped, shocked.

"Every day."

"What?! But what if you get a mission?" I protested, delighted, but not entirely sure I could handle that much of Gaara.

"Technically, even though they didn't assign it as a mission, the council did entrust you into my care for the duration of your recovery period, so I could refuse another mission. They can't actually force me to do anything. I doubt they would ever try."

"But wouldn't refusing a mission put you on probation or something?"

"I'm too valuable an asset for them to do that." He hadn't spoken with pride, or even false modesty, just matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

The sand dome slowly disintegrated.

 **Chapter 27**

"So…Kankuro tells me that you and Gaara have been doing a lot of _sparring_ lately."

I groaned, stopping my forward momentum towards the door. The teasing note in her voice told me that she had gotten a bone and really wanted to gnaw on it awhile, at my expense of course. "Actually no, he's been helping me to train, since I totally bombed the sparring session."

"Really?! _He's_ helping _you_? I would have thought it would be the other way around honestly, what with his inexperience and all…" She snickered.

I sighed, pinching my nose in between my eyes and hoping that maybe I could squeeze out some patience. It appeared that Temari had picked up the ' _sparring = sex_ ' joke from Kankuro, just what I needed.

"Ok, first of all sparring and training are not euphemisms for sex. I don't care what Kankuro told you, there is no sex happening. Training means training, getting my stupid wind chakra under control so I don't accidently kill people when I want to do a simple jutsu. Okay?"

I ignored the guffaw at the top of the stairs indicating that Kankuro was now eavesdropping on our conversation. He always did have an unhealthy interest in Temari driving me nuts.

"Oh, you don't say? I thought it was a pretty clever euphemism myself. So then, Kankuro didn't walk in on you two doing it up against your bedroom wall?"

I flushed, not really liking to think about how that had looked from outside. It probably _had_ looked like we were at least making out or something. "No! We weren't … _doing it_. I mean we were sparring, well not really sparring actually, more like just fighting. We hadn't exactly agreed at the beginning that ' _okay were gonna fight now_ ' it just sort of happened. Um…" Well shit, rambling wasn't going to help my case at all.

 _ **Well aren't you articulate…**_

 _Shut up! I can only deal with one smart ass at a time!_

"So you weren't having sex, but you weren't sparring, and you weren't fighting, or you were fighting? Be a little more clear on the details." She smirked, "Because it sure as hell sounds like something happened."

"Well there are still claw marks on the wall from our fight so I would definitely say something happened." I said sarcastically, unfortunately not really thinking about my word choice before speaking.

She busted out laughing, and I could hear Kankuro having issues up on the second floor as well. I face palmed, thinking back on my sentence and regretting having not filtered between my brain and my mouth.

"So you clawed up the wall huh?" She wheezed in between guffaws. "That must have been some…fight…"

I heaved a sigh. "Yes, it was a fight. Gaara pissed me off, I threw shit at him, and it got worse from there. Any more questions?"

She chuckled wiping her eyes. "Oh yeah, tons. Like, how did you go from throwing a temper tantrum to him pressing you up against the wall?"

"You want a blow by blow account?" I asked sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Oh yeah…definitely."

I groaned. "I tried to punch him, he caught my arm, slammed me up against the wall, knocked my breath out, got me by the hair, blocked me when I tried to knee him where it would hurt the most, and then glared at me for a little while. At that point Kankuro walked in after hearing a good amount of commotion and saw me pinned up against the wall. There, you happy?"

She blinked, whistling lowly. "Wow, sounds like you two like it rough. If no sex has happened yet, then warn me before it does, so that I'll know to wear earplugs. And potentially bunk with Kankuro just in case you take out the wall." I flushed ten different of shades of red before landing on bright tomato.

I lost it, having tried to be nice, I was fed up and had had enough. Snarling I launched myself at her, aiming a punch at her face.

"Woah!" She yelped, dodging. I landed, spun on the ball of my foot and sent my other leg out for a nice kick to her back side. This one landed nicely and she was tossed face first over the couch. Before my leg came back down, my ankle was caught in an iron grip, leaving me balancing on one leg.

"That's enough Temari." Came the deep raspy voice from behind me, letting me know that a certain redhead currently had a hold of my ankle.

Temari popped up from behind the couch, and I saw Kankuro leaning precariously over the balustrade, watching the proceedings with a wide grin. I suppose this did look a little odd, me balancing on one leg with my other was still firmly trapped in Gaara's evil grip. Especially since Gaara still usually avoided physical contact, except when it came to me apparently… _what a disturbing thought._

Temari also looked highly amused, if a little pissed off, which was not a good Temari combination. It usually meant that she would be particularly fiendish and prone to pissing me off. "Oh sure, there's nothing going on between you two. Nothing at all. You do realize Gaara only touches _you_ that easily right?"

I felt Gaara freeze and tense behind me, a very low growl rumbling from his chest, probably only loud enough for me to hear, and I'm sure he was glaring daggers at her for that comment. But unfortunately she was too focused on me to notice how she had ticked off her dangerous younger brother. I also ignored him.

Things had just escalated to a whole new level. I lunged, or at least tried to, but Gaara still had a hold of my damned ankle, which knocked me off balance. I hissed, scrambling to regain my footing, careening at awkward angles. "Gaara! Let me go dammit!"

He didn't, only tightening his already painful hold and yanking back, completely tipping me over. I yelped, toppling backward butt first into him. He let go of my foot and I sat down hard at his feet, back against his legs. I tipped my head up to glare at him furiously, the back of my skull pressing into what was probably his groin, a fact that I studiously ignored. "For crying out loud Gaara! What the hell was that for?"

He just crossed his arms and tilted his head down, giving me a look that was _mostly_ unamused. I snarled.

Temari laughed from across the room. "Oh my god, you two are hilarious to watch! I almost wish I could see it when it does happen, just to watch the awkwardness unfold. If only he wasn't my younger brother…" she giggled hysterically.

I gaped at her. "What the fuck is wrong with you woman! Both you and Kankuro! You have sex on the brain 24/7! Instead of fucking around with _us_ and the _non-sex_ going on there why don't you two go get yourselves laid?!" I yelled launching myself to my feet, very nearly going after her again.

Both Kankuro and Temari burst into uncontrollable laughter again, making me see red and want to throw something. I grabbed a random book off the shelf near me and went to lob it at her laughing face, only to have my wrist caught in that same infuriating grip.

I snarled, turning towards him and aimed a smack at his head with my other hand, only to have that wrist caught as well. "GAARA! Would. You. Let. GO!" I yelled, punctuating it with a head-butt, only to get a face full of sand. I shook my hair and spat out a mouthful of the stuff, disgusted.

He just blinked calmly down at me, as the wisp of sand that had protected him slipped back into his gourd. Well, he looked calm, but I could feel the tension in his body and knew that he was probably as pissed off as I was. I glared. He calmly looked down at me, but I could see the anger behind that calm facade. For a good few minutes we had a staring contest. It was infuriating how much control he had over his temper.

Our staring contest was broken by the sound of Kankuro, from the bottom of the stairs now. "Pheew, man the tension in here is thick enough you could cut it with a knife. Get a room you two."

We both slowly turned our heads and gave him identical looks of pure evil, at which point both he yelped, "Whoops, my bad!" And scooted his butt back up the stairs, to the sound of Temari's laughter.

We ignored her. "We're leaving now." I growled, yanking one wrist free and stalking out the door with Gaara behind, still holding onto my other wrist.

We walked like that to the training rounds. I didn't even notice until we got there and I took a deep breath, unclenching my fist, and Gaara's hand slid off my wrist. I looked down, realizing that we had practically been holding hands the whole way here. I flushed.

I sighed. "Sorry you had to keep me from killing your sister." I mumbled, a little ashamed of myself and my lack of control.

"It was one of two options at the time. Hold you back, or kill her myself. I chose the first option." He said in that dry, monotone voice of his. I looked up at him startled and sputtered with laughter, totally taken by surprise.

After I had gotten control of myself, I walked out into the training field. We had already been doing this for a few days and I had progressed rapidly with Gaara's special brand of help.

"Okay then, I think I'm going to work on my Telaria Jutsu today. Now that I've gotten control over my chakra again, I think it's safe to try."

He nodded, standing with his arms crossed with a little distance in between us.

I concentrated, making sure my chakra was consistent and steady, and then sought the familiar prickly feeling in my feet, drawing chakra there and summoning a little wind. Despite having much better control over everything now, there were still glitches from time to time in all my jutsu that I tried. In this case a random burst of chakra summoned way too much wind to my feet. I yelped as the sensation of the earth against my feet was replaced by air and I was sent flying into the air from a standing position.

Before I could do anything to rectify the situation, which wasn't much honestly, a stream of sand neatly halted me in the air, spiraling around my knees and feet to leave me dangling upside down, which was how I had abruptly found myself after the wind bubble had popped and sent me into the air. Only now I wasn't falling headfirst towards the ground.

"Oops." I commented mildly after I had caught my breath, peering curiously up at my feet.

I looked down when I heard Gaara snort. He looked thoroughly unamused, though he had given himself away with that little puff of air.

"You can put me down now." I noted and I was set gently to the ground, headfirst. I sprung up from a semi-handstand and landed on my feet. "All right let's try this again."

I summoned a little more chakra and wind, focusing on keeping it stable this time, using as little as possible of both. Once I felt secure I took a few jogging steps, noting that I had a little speed. I jogged around in a small lap around Gaara, who stood there with his arms crossed. I started up a little jaunty whistle to go along with my jog, very happy with my progress.

"Alright, I'm gonna try a little faster now."

He nodded.

I kept the chakra and wind level, but sped up to a run, an easy lope that I could hold for a while. Ever so slowly I increased the speed of my jutsu, getting up to my previous medium speed, something that I could maintain for a while. I split off from my lap around Gaara and ran around the field in random loops, and figure eights, just trying to make sure everything stayed where it should. I held that for several minutes before I felt another burp in my chakra network, this time sending me twirling through the air in the direction I had been going, which was directly towards a wall unfortunately.

I heard Gaara mutter something under his breath, probably a curse word of some sort, as his sand hissed through the air, catching me a hairsbreadth away from the wall. The impact of his sand was much preferable to the wall, but it was still hard enough that my air whooshed out of my chest and I had to cough a couple of times.

I groaned, knowing I was going to have some very strange bruises tomorrow from the network of sand that had snagged me. I hung limply in the sand, letting the world settle back into place, thoroughly dizzy from that spinning nonsense.

Gaara's face appeared over mine and I realized he had floated me back over to him so now I was hovering right underneath his crossed arms. "Nice catch…" I wheezed.

His lips thinned and a non-eyebrow rose on his forehead. He put me down on the ground. I staggered a few steps and then waited for the world to stop tilting at crazy angles. Once I was sure that I had regained my balance I tried again, starting at minimum speed again and then slowly increasing to medium. I noticed that this time Gaara's sand was looping around gracefully through the air, following me around the field.

Which was probably a good thing.

Since I seemed to have a good steady medium speed going, I decided to kick it up another notch, going into high speed, the speed that I used to be able to maintain for a decent length of time, so it was actually my lower high speed. This one was definitely harder to control, my chakra going all sorts of nuts right away. I barely managed to control the bursts. I somehow kept them small enough that I was only sent skipping forwards a few steps, or into a very short tumble through the air where I barely managed to catch myself on hands or feet, doing flips and somersaults to try and keep myself from face planting into the sandy ground of the field.

It was actually kind of fun in a completely chaotic, dangerous way that I knew could get me killed. Gaara's sand looped in tighter and tighter around me, not quite touching me but right there in case I really did lose it and try to break my neck or something.

Eventually of course, a random burst sent me off my feet, spinning too fast to catch myself, doing a barrel roll sideways through the air, this time right at Gaara himself. And it had happened a little too close for him to completely stop me. I yelped as his sand constricted around my form, bringing me to a halt right as I hit him, sending us both to the ground in a tangle of sand and limbs.

He grunted, the impact not particularly bad for him, just enough to knock him off his feet, but it was considerable harsher for me since his sand had done a pretty good strangle impersonation right before I landed on top of him. I knew that the bruising would probably be so strange that Kankuro and Temari would be able to come up with something stupid to say about it.

I groaned, the world spinning again and completely unable to get off of Gaara at the moment. He grunted and sat up, sending me tumbling into his lap. I immediately yelped, groaned, and then whimpered, the world doing somersaults and making me very sick.

"Stop! Stop. Stop. Stop. Don't move please! _Please!_ " I wasn't even aware that I was begging, so caught up in how unpleasant the sensation of being this dizzy was, my head actually beginning to pound in an unbelievable headache from the strain of trying to get everything to stop moving.

I felt him freeze underneath me, immediately ceasing all movement. The position was awkward and uncomfortable, but there really wasn't anything I could do about that right now. He was left halfway sitting up, propping himself up on his arms, his legs bent at the knee, while I was on my stomach, curled around him, my head on the ground on one side, my legs on the other, everything in the middle draped across his hips, my stomach pressing uncomfortably into those dammed buckles across his middle.

After a good few minutes I tried to raise my head, winced and put it back down. "Nope, not gonna happen." I groaned.

It was taking me a while to fix my head back on strait. The speed of the spin had been much faster than the last time, and having been made this dizzy twice in such a short span of time had confused my brain so much it was currently cussing me out for being a dumbass. I think Kitty was somewhere in all that mess also cussing me out.

Gaara tensed beneath me and very slowly began to move, gradually pushing himself into a sitting position. I winced, whimpering when it started to move me a little, rolling me ever so slightly as he straitened.

"Gaara!" I panted in protest, trying to get him to fucking stop already, letting him know that I wasn't in any condition to move at all.

He was already sitting up so it was a moot point anyway. I curled around him a little more firmly, trying to use him as a single point around which I could orient myself. I hissed, my head throbbing. After another few minutes I moved one hand, slowly patting my way up his arm to his shoulder where I hooked my fingers over that handy leather strap of his and groaned, pulling myself upright that way. Or at least attempting to. I had to stop halfway, the world tilting at dangerous angles again. I gasped, freezing and squeezing my eyes shut, grabbing that strap with a death grip.

Thankfully his arm came up to support me, his elbow against my middle back and his forearm lay firmly against my spine, his hand cupping the back of my head. After a minute, in which my muscles began to shake from holding the strange position, the world settled just a little and I slowly was able to straighten myself.

I slid in between Gaara's legs, which he widened a little to accommodate me. My legs hooked over one of his thighs and my back was still propped up with his arm, though now I could lean my side against his front. I stayed there for a moment, my head tucked under his chin, finding the position uncomfortable in multiple ways.

First, my head still felt like it was about to twist off and go rolling across the ground. Actually it felt like it was currently doing that. Second, the position was way too close for comfort, making everything awkward, and his scent right under my nose was sending the poor dizzy kitty into a stumbling frenzy, along with my senses. And third, there was no fucking way I could move away from him at the moment, since I was absolutely positive that doing so would result in severe brain damage, or at least that's what my brain said, since it was still colorfully cussing me out for moving at all.

I groaned, torn between both physical and emotional agony and pleasure, the whole situation a really terrible hot mess. "Sorry about this, but I think I sloshed my brains around too much today." I mumbled, flushing as I added intense embarrassment to the list of problems that was quickly multiplying.

He hummed, not at all sounding upset by the situation. I would have thought he would be very uncomfortable, since he obviously wasn't exactly a huge fan of physical contact, but he seemed perfectly content. I didn't really have enough brain power to waste on wondering why in the world he wasn't dumping me off his lap in disgust, so I just accepted his good grace to let me hang out where I was.

Naturally it was at this moment that his siblings showed up to check in on us. I supposed that they had wanted to catch us doing something inappropriate so they could gloat, and it was their lucky day.

"Aha! So this is what you two call training?" Temari's voice was downright gleeful, and made my headache ten times worse.

I groaned, wishing I could just disappear into the ground. It's a shame I didn't have the proper jutsu. "Go away. It's not what it looks like." I groaned, burying my head a little more firmly in Gaara's throat area. Even that little motion sent pings through my skull. It reminded me of the last time I had sustained a head injury. I think I had also found myself in a similar position.

Gaara's chin lifted off the top of my head and I got the sense that he was giving them both a death glare. I could even feel his chakra signature change, becoming darker and a little dangerous, warning them off.

"Eh, maybe we should leave the lovebirds alone; I don't think we're wanted." Kankuro's voice mumbled and I heard hasty footsteps accompanying the statement.

After a moment of silence I felt Gaara's chin settle back on the top of my head, surprising me a little. For such a standoffish guy he appeared to be awfully comfortable with cuddling. What an odd situation this was. I sighed, the warmth of his body and his scent both comforting and decidedly _not,_ at the same time.

After a few more minutes of stabilizing I gingerly lifted myself upright, no longer using him for a support. When my head didn't do any stupid stuff, I tried to get up slowly, but the position didn't exactly lend for gracefulness. I managed to swing my legs over his after a little awkward squirming, trying not to move too much or too quickly. And then I carefully stood, wobbling for a second. Gaara stood very quickly after me, hovering a little too close for comfort, but I guess he was waiting to see if I was going to faint or something silly like that. I squinted, the headache getting worse, but thankfully the earth stayed solid beneath my feet.

"Well, I think that's enough training for today. Same time tomorrow? Assuming my head won't be sloshing around nonsensically anymore of course."

He nodded and we headed back to the house. I for one was dreading the reception we would receive from his siblings. Maybe they wouldn't be home, if we were lucky. Once we got home I immediately went to my room, needing to lie down and get everything in my head to calm the fuck down. Even Kitty hadn't managed to get back on her paws yet, and hadn't said anything for a while. I only heard a few groans every now and then.

I put a cool rag over my eyes, wishing that my head wasn't so damn sensitive, but then again I had banged it around pretty good today, so I guess it was understandable. After about an hour or so I heard some voices, but ignored them, instead preferring to focus on the nice pleasant darkness. Naturally, after a little while I heard the door open and shut, and from her scent I knew Temari had decided to pay me a visit.

I held up one hand, forestalling any nonsense. "Before you say anything stupid, no, I wasn't getting cozy with your brother just for the fun of it. I managed to spin myself through the air so fast I think I did some brain damage or something stupid like that. I couldn't move for a solid ten minutes. So no teasing about hanky-panky, or whatever, if you please. I have a really nasty headache right now and I don't think I could handle it."

I heard her soft chuckle and felt the bed dip gently next to me. "Sorry for giving you such a hard time lately. It's just that I know how much you guys love each other and it's really difficult to see you both hurting so much. I guess I took it out on you. Sorry."

I sighed, not really knowing what she meant about both of us loving each other and hurting. Maybe she was seeing stuff that wasn't really there when it came to her younger brother. "You know what I'm going to say to that Temari."

"Yes, yes, I know. You don't believe Gaara loves you."

"I know he doesn't."

She just sighed, not arguing with me. After a moment of silence she murmured gently, "So how's your head?"

"It feels just spiffy." I replied sarcastically. "That's why I'm wearing this lovely new eye scarf. I thought it might catch on, be the next big thing in fashion. What do you think?"

"Oh yeah, totally. It's very chic." She responded in the same tone, amused. After a moment she sighed. "So how was it sitting in his lap?"

I tensed. "Temari…"

"No, no. No joke. I just…wondered what it felt like. That's all."

I was surprised by the wistfulness in her voice. I lifted one corner of the cloth over my eyes and peered at her, noting the way she stared off into the distance. "You thinking about pineapple head?"

She jumped, flinched, and then blushed, definitely giving herself away. "Who…What do you mean… I don't…"

I chuckled and let the cloth drop back down. "Don't worry about it. I've known for a while, any time Shikamaru is nearby you get all prickly. It's a dead giveaway for you. But I doubt anyone else has noticed."

She heaved a sigh. "It's tough being in different villages."

"I can imagine."

"So really, what is it like to be able to be close to the one you love? Physically close I mean."

I flushed. "Um…well, it's different. It's nice…sort of. It's comfortable on the one hand and then drives you nuts on the other hand."

She chuckled. "Yeah I could see how that would be the case." She thought for a moment. "But how did you manage it? For a while there it seemed like you couldn't even be in the same room as him. You said it was because of his scent?"

"I've been working to desensitize myself, you know, just getting used to it. It's taken a lot of work."

"Really? Huh, interesting." Another pause. "So what does he smell like? I don't think I've ever asked you that."

I flushed again, thinking how I should answer. "Like sand."

She laughed, taken aback. "Seriously? Of course he does. Sand actually has a smell?"

"Yeah. It's sort of earthy … but dry. If that makes any sense."

"Uh-huh."

"And he smells hot."

"Ew, he is my brother you know."

I choked on a laugh. "No, that's not what I meant! I meant he smells … warm, in a weird way. Like how the desert smells different when it's hot, or when it's cool? He smells like hot sand. Like sand that's been baked hot by the sun. And spices, probably from all that spicy food he likes to eat. And then just … sort of like human male and … Gaara-ish. Like…you know…skin, and body, sometimes sweat, sometimes soap. The same sort of thing everyone has, but everyone has a slightly different scent."

"Wow, I had no idea. So what about Kankuro?"

I snorted, thinking. "I guess I can smell his puppets on him, like wood and sort of a funky acidic smell. I guess that's probably the poison he uses. And then he has sort of a muskier smell, maybe because he's older, I'm not sure. Or maybe he just doesn't shower as often as Gaara. But the wood scent is actually quite pleasant. So as long as he hasn't accidently spilled that creepy smelling poison on his clothes, he usually smells kind of nice."

"But not as nice as Gaara I guess huh?" She teased.

"Obviously not. Smartass."

She chuckled.

"You smell nice too, just in case you were wondering."

"OH?" She chirped, sounding intrigued.

"Yeah, you have a slightly floral scent, not girly, but just sort of fresh. It probably has to do with the body wash you use. Or maybe the shampoo. And then you smell like metallized paper, like your fan, and in a weird way like the wind, just really crisp and fresh. You probably smell better than I do. I tend to smell really metallic from my shurikens and swords."

She picked up my hand and gave me a sniff. "A little, but it's not unpleasant."

I giggled, surprised.

"Hey, I have something that might help with that headache, you want some?"

"Oh god yes." I moaned.

"Wait here."

She returned a moment later. "Here take this. It's a pain pill specifically for headaches and will reduce any swelling."

"Fantastic." I grabbed it and downed it dry.

It only took a few minutes for the pill to take effect and I felt some relief. "That's awesome Temari, thank you."

"No problem."

I thought about it for a moment, and then something popped into my head. "Hey, you gave me the pill to help with head stuff before right?"

"Hm? Oh, after you were smacked into that wall? Yeah. Why?"

"I was just wondering. Do you always have a stock of pain pills related to head injuries? And if so, is it because you smack Kankuro upside the head so much?"

She laughed. "No, no. I have a friend who's a medical ninja and she makes sure I have a good supply of bandages, ointments, and stuff, as well as pills. I always have pain relievers, and pills for reducing the swelling in injuries. And I have that one that is specifically for head injuries. I also have one that's supposed to make your blood clot faster, so it would help if you had a severe injury and were bleeding out. I also have a few really powerful ones that knock you out completely, which could be used either on a comrade that needs to have a bone reset or surgery or something, or it could be used on an enemy."

"Wow, your med kit is better than mine. Remind me to stick around with you on missions." I chuckled.

"I could ask her to give me a few spares, at least of the head one. Since you seem to be really big on the head injuries."

"Oh yeah, gotta love those headaches." I chuckled.

We chatted for a while, but eventually she left. And I just decided to skip dinner. My head felt a lot better, but now I was feeling very tired, and I wanted to avoid Kankuro. I knew he would be all ready to tease me about earlier, and I didn't want another headache now that I had just gotten rid of the last one.

And so I fell asleep, the pain pill actually helping me to sleep relatively soundly for once.

* * *

Author's Note:

So, a little more Ren and Gaara for you... :3

Looks like things are finally falling into place for Ren, soon she and Kitty should be syncing up much better. And that means that Ren and Gaara's relationship will be advancing within the next few chapters. :3


	58. Burn With Me: Chapter 28

I trained hard for a month or two, managing to get the Telaria Jutsu down with minimal complications, despite a few spectacular catapults. And what was even better, was that I had an all new top speed, one that I had barely even tested before it got too fast for comfort. It was simply something I would have to push with experience. But it was nice to have a new ace up my sleeve.

After that it was a simple matter to get all my jutsus back in order, my barriers and sensing and speed all back to normal, only better and more powerful. It was awesome. I could do my Wind Sword Jutsu when I was actually wielding swords, but bare handed it now felt more natural to split into claws. So I just went with it, and retired my Wind Blade Jutsu and transformed it into my new Wind Claw Jutsu. After all, why have two blades when you can have ten? I also continued to work on applying my Wind Sword Jutsu to other weapons.

By now I had achieved what I had set out to do, mainly to get back to where I was, but Gaara continued to train with me. Now though, he was working on his techniques alongside me, and it wasn't every day anymore. Things had started picking up around the village, lots of politics and shit flying around, which Gaara seemed inordinately interested in.

So today, as usual, I found myself training side by side with Gaara, me working on a long distance jutsu, while Gaara worked on his Shukaku's Pike Jutsu. _What did he call it? His super tempered ultimate weapon or something like that?_ I shook my head. He could call it whatever he liked, it was badass.

"Oh shit! Whoops." I flinched as a shuriken that I had been trying to attach wind chakra to, plowed through the dummy I had been using and embedded itself in the wall. I trotted over to it. "Well damn." I looked at how far it was in the stone wall, and then tried to pry it out using my fingers. I hissed and stuck my bleeding finger in my mouth when all I got from it was that. "Guess that's gonna be the new wall decoration."

I walked back to where Gaara was standing. He had momentarily paused so that I could go investigate my escaped shuriken without fear of being speared by the pike that he was working on.

I watched him for a moment as he began again, forming the four pronged spear out of sand and throwing it with deadly precision into this target. After a moment I got to thinking… "Hey Gaara?"

He looked over, meeting my eyes with his x-ray pale gaze.

"Have you ever thought about doing a joint attack? I mean I think our elements would be compatible, and from what I've read in those texts, the ones that I didn't completely destroy by using as projectile weapons, joint jutsu attacks are pretty rare, but the documented cases are very strong, some of the most powerful out there."

He blinked and then looked like he was thinking about it for a moment. "That's an intriguing idea. But if it's as powerful as you say, wouldn't it be dangerous to try within the village walls?"

"Good point, we'd probably want to go out into the desert to try it."

He thought for a moment. "How about tonight? Once it's cooled off a little."

"Sounds good to me."

I paused to watch as some messengers hustled by. It had been like this for the past week or so, tons of messengers going this way and that, ninja's carrying important scrolls, even council members going to and fro now and then. "What in the world is going on, everyone is in such a tizzy." I wondered out loud.

"They're trying to decide on the new Kazekage." Gaara rasped.

I blinked, startled. "Oh? Why did it take them so long?"

"I don't know."

"And why now? All of a sudden like this?"

"My guess is that some important decisions have come up that can only be sorted out by the new Kazekage. Or they've gotten themselves in trouble with one of the other villages or nations and need a figure head." Gaara suggested logically.

"Or maybe that mountain of paperwork finally fell over." I snickered, imagining council members sorting through a catastrophe like that. "So who are the candidates? The Kazekage is supposed to be the most powerful Shinobi in the village." I looked at Gaara. _Actually, now that I think about it…_ "You made Chunin last month, so technically…"

He blinked looking surprised by the insinuation.

I remembered how that had gone. The Chunin Exams had been mostly a formality in Gaara's case, since all of his opponents had defaulted. I remember how irritable he had been by the end of it all. Temari had also made it, but Kankuro hadn't, and neither did the twins or I had either. I actually hadn't even attended, since I had still felt too out of control. I wasn't sure I wouldn't kill my opponent. And really, I hadn't even technically been released from probation yet.

I think you had to be at least Chunin in order to qualify for Kazekage, although Jonin was probably preferable. Baki might make a good Kazekage, but … really, there was no doubt who the strongest in the village was. Gaara wasn't called the ultimate weapon for nothing.

"So what do you think about all the stuff going on? Do you have anyone you're rooting for?" I asked, wondering if he was even interested in the position.

He looked off to the side, gazing out over the village. I was struck by the image it made, the sun getting lower in the sky and making his red hair glow, his eyes radiant, his expression almost serene, but underneath that I could sense all the passion, the protectiveness etched into the corners of his eyes. He didn't answer, and that was okay, he didn't need to. Even if he wasn't actively pursuing the position, I knew who would be the best for the village, and he was standing right in front of me. But then again, I was biased.

I sighed. "Perhaps we should get something to eat before we go play in the big sandbox?" I heard his low chuckle in response.

I grinned and we headed off to find some food. He went into a restaurant, one that I hadn't really been in all that much, but that I knew he and Temari liked it a lot. I followed. We sat down and he didn't even pick up a menu. I suppose he already had a favorite. I glanced over everything and picked out something that looked pretty good, some sort of chicken dish.

The waitress took our order, and seemed both terrified and at the same time kind of attracted to Gaara. It pissed me off. He ignored her though, just staring at me in that weird way of his.

"So…do you always get pan seared lizards tongue?" I inquired as our dishes were brought to us, the waitress fluttering around Gaara in a way that made Kitty get all territorial in my mind.

He nodded.

"It's really spicy isn't it?" I grinned, knowing the answer already. I could smell the spices form here.

He nodded again.

"Why do you like your food so spicy?" I asked curiously.

He blinked. "I just do." And then he shrugged subtly.

"Huh. Well, I guess you either do or you don't. You know what they say right? That because of the burn, that little bit of pain makes you produce a bunch of endorphins, which is why people like spicy food."

"I didn't know that."

"That means you're hooked on endorphins Mister." I pointed my finger at him playfully.

His eyes narrowed just a tad and he cocked an imaginary brow at the offending digit. "Lots of things produce endorphins…"

I blinked. "Sure, exercise. Sparring. Um, jumping off a cliff would probably do it. Sex." I shrugged, making casual conversation. Despite how awkward it was to mention sex in front of him, I figured I should include it, since it was well known.

I ignored the way his eyes infinitesimally widened and then narrowed again.

"So don't go getting addicted to jumping off of cliffs, since you like endorphins so much." I snickered, enjoying giving him a hard time.

"Our nocturnal activities tonight will be sufficient." He drawled.

I flushed, wondering if he intended for that to sound so…suggestive. Probably not. I was sure he meant the training we would be doing after dinner. I hoped the blush wasn't too obvious. I could have sworn I saw the tiniest little smirk curl the edges of his lips. _There's no way he intended for that to embarrass me…did he?_

I cleared my throat, searching for another topic of conversation.

After dinner we made our way out to the sand dunes beyond the village wall. I breathed deeply the chilly desert night air. There was something so invigorating about coming out here after dark. The stark beauty of the desert at night was always something that I had enjoyed. After we had put a good amount of distance in between us and the walls, we faced each other, on top of a medium sized dune. There weren't really any big dunes right around the village, just gently waving hills of sand.

"So what do you want to try?" He asked, his voice deep and raspy.

There was something about being out here in the dark that excited me, in a completely unexpected and dangerous way.

I gulped. "Well, we need to sort of plan out the attack and then try it, working out any kinks as we go along. I was thinking along the lines of maybe a lance made out of your sand, and then I could wrap my wind around it and make it spiral in a tornado, or something. Or perhaps we could try something like a sand storm, with your normal attack, and I could try putting a spin in it with my wind, or maybe even embed wind blades into the sand stream. There's lots of things we could try."

"Why don't we try something simple, to see if it even works."

"Sounds good, how about a simple strand of your sand and my wind, sort of corkscrewed together?"

He nodded and took a stance. I turned and stood beside him so we were both facing the same way. "How about we aim for that little scrubby bush thing?" I pointed. He nodded.

The cork from his gourd popped out and he drew out a long shimmering strand of his sand, the starlight making it sparkle in that beautiful way. I summoned a similarly sized breeze, picturing it floating in front of me like a strand, a long currant of air. He sent his sand in the direction I had pointed and I sent my wind after his sand. It was difficult to coordinate.

"Hold on, let's try this…" I faced him and he turned, facing me curiously. "Draw out a really thin strand." He complied, a thin, barely there ribbon of sand snaking between us. "Okay now just hold on." I summoned a thin air currant about the same size and directed it to go next to his sand. "Okay now I'll go over, you go under to start with."

I carefully twisted my wind around the sand strip and he did the same until we had a pretty decent rope going. "Let's try guiding it at this size before we try it larger." He suggested and I nodded, agreeing.

We held the rope and turned back towards the bush, guiding it forwards. "We have to keep it moving, like a rotating corkscrew, and not just float it along. Really I think my wind is better suited to propelling your sand at faster speeds."

He nodded and slid into a lower stance, his arms coming out to either side of him as he actively guided the sand with sinuous movements of his arms. I did the same. I attached a little sensory jutsu to my wind and immediately found it easier to direct around his sand. Not only could I follow the grainy texture of the sand, but I could also sense his chakra.

"See if you can sense my chakra in my wind through your sand. That helped me to sense your sand." I muttered and he nodded.

After a little while it seemed like we had the coordination of the two elements moving against each other, it just took a little time to get used to how the other moved. As we worked, our elements grew in size, until after a while we were directing a pretty substantial sand-wind-funnel-corkscrew sort of thing. It was fascinating, as we worked our elements against each other so closely, I realized that our bodies started moving more and more in sync, unconsciously using each other's movements as cues.

We were just spinning it in random directions, not really targeting anything yet. "Now…" Gaara growled next to me and I nodded, knowing what he meant.

Together we sent the sand and wind storm funnel directly at that little bush from earlier. Without realizing it we had both gone into attack mode, our intentions coming across in our elements and making them spin against each other faster, more violently. Much more violently, and yet still completely in sync, working seamlessly in a very big, deadly, sandy, tornado thing. And I realized I was right, as we got up to these speeds I could hear a distinct low howl begin, the tone coming from my wind propelling his sand at insane speeds.

The thing made impact with an enormous ' **kaboom,** ' sending a shower of sand so high Gaara and I both ducked for cover. It was tremendous, more powerful than I could have ever predicted. I yelped, actually quite scared, as practically the entire sand dune that it had collided with was made airborne, sending an immense wave of sand heading in our direction, from both the air and the ground.

"Oh shit!" I dove closer to Gaara right as his sand shield incased us both in a ball, which perhaps wasn't the best shape for this.

The immensity of the impact actually sent us spinning, like hamsters in a hamster ball. I had never seen Gaara's defense tossed around quite this much and certainly hadn't experienced it first hand as I was doing now. We were pressed up against opposite sides as we rotated quickly and then were tossed upside down. I yelped again as I was sent headlong across the ball and then flipped upside down, my arms braced down into an awkward handstand, my legs scrabbling against the roof of the ball for purchase. Given our relative positions, I found myself bracing my back and shoulders against Gaara's, though our heads were pointing in opposite directions. He had managed to right himself and now slammed his hands down into the floor of the sphere. I could only assume he was sending out roots of sand in all directions to get us to stop the crazy shit.

It worked, but one last massive heave toppled us upside down once more before we were fully rooted in place, which meant that now I found myself flat-ish on my back, with Gaara flat on top of me, his feet to my head and vice versa. After some shifting and a whole lot of sand grinding against sand noise, everything seemed to slow down.

We were panting, completely shocked and just sort of lay there all tangled up for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly had happened. "Well that was…intense." I muttered, my voice a little muffled because some of Gaara's sash had somehow made its way into my mouth. I spat, but it stuck to my tongue and dried lips.

Naturally everything was pitch black so we couldn't see a damn thing. I wasn't even entirely sure exactly how we were arranged, everything was a little chaotic and uncomfortable. Gaara pushed himself off of me, or tried to, but managed to put his elbow into the spot right between my hip and groin, a spot that I suddenly realized had some sort of nerve that reacted violently to that sort of pressure. It felt incredibly painful and strangely ticklish at the same time.

I yelped, "Elbow!" my voice way too high, and he quickly readjusted how his weight was distributed and lifted off of me, his knees on either side of me from what I could tell. Really I couldn't see a freaking thing. I brought the one hand down from above me, the other trapped behind my back, and patted what I thought might be his foot. Yep, definitely a foot. "Oh hey, you wear fishnet under your pants too?" I heard him snort.

He found one of my knees with his hand and I twitched, not prepared for the feeling. I had that knee bent up and the other was folded under me in an uncomfortable way. He swung one of his legs over me, almost putting his knee down on the elbow of the arm trapped under me, but felt it before putting any weight on it. I think that made him lose his balance though because he sort of toppled over and very nearly kicked me in the head.

He made an ' _oof_ ' sort of sound and then huffed, "Sorry."

"No problem," I wheezed, when one of his hands came down a little too hard on my stomach. I sat up and unbent my leg and arm out from underneath me, accidentally clocking Gaara in the jaw with my elbow. "Oh shit my bad! Are you okay?"

"…mmhm?" He said in that particular tone that meant he was doing a tooth-check with his tongue. I reached out, trying to locate him, and my fingertips brushed his hair. I drew back, satisfied.

"Okay, so how deep are we?"

"Not too deep."

"Shall I blow up with some wind to clear out the sand from above us while you elevator us out with your sand before the rest of the dune comes in?"

"Sounds good."

"Ready?" Long pause. "You know I can't see you nod right? You're gonna have to talk a little more than usual."

"Oh, right. Yes."

"Okay then, here we go!" I summoned up all the wind inside our bubble and thrust it up quickly, popping the top off and driving through the sand. Immediately we started ascending thanks to Gaara, but all that sand started leaking in from the sides too, sending it showering over the both of us. It was an incredibly unpleasant sensation and for a second it felt like we were going to suffocate. As soon as we broke the surface I gasped, almost having had a panic attack and flopped out on my back, squirming out of the sand that had risen waist high.

"Okay, that was a little scarier than I thought it would be." I wheezed, and then after I finished catching my breath I continued, "Do you still want to try this or do you wanna give up the idea as a no-go?"

"I want to try again."

"Good, so do I. But let's work on not blowing up the world around us when we do it. Sound good?"

"Hm."

And then I started to laugh, remembering what Temari had said. "Oh god, remember what Temari said? That if we ever _'did it'_ that we'd tear up the house?" I kept laughing, the stress washing off. "I just said, let's work on not blowing up the world around us when we do it." I choked out. Perhaps the stress had made me a little crazy. I heard Gaara's low chuckle join my laughter.

I sighed. "Wow, your sister's a bit of a bitch. I mean I love her, but yeah she drives me nuts sometimes. Kankuro too. I can't believe how they got on that whole kick, joking about us constantly." I sighed. "I stand by what I said before, they really need to get laid."

That got a little sputter of surprised laughter from the redhead beside me. After a moment of rest we both got up, wanting to try again. Really, despite all the chaos, we had been out here less than 2 hours, so we still had plenty of time, despite being a little banged up.

"Maybe if we aim the thing horizontally, along the ground away from us and try for a groove instead of going up and then coming down right on top of the sand, it won't kick up quite such a tidal wave. What do you think?"

"Perhaps, but we should also decrease the size and speed. At least for now, until we have better control over it."

"Makes sense."

And so we stood and took up our positions, but before we started, he formed a medium sized pillar out of sand, some distance away from us, which we could use as a target.

"Excellent idea." I praised as I watched it rise to a pretty decent height.

Once it came to a halt we began, easily twisting our two elements together again in that corkscrew pattern. Our bodies once again started moving in sync as we built a much smaller tornado thing this time around, and then laid it down on its side, pointing at the tower.

"Alright, along the ground this time." I mumbled, most of my attention on the whirlwind.

He nodded and we sent it off, spinning towards the target. We made sure to keep it small this time, but even so, it hit with an impressively loud noise, and the entire middle section of the tower was shredded. The top part came down with a thud, and the sandy debris was spit all over the place. I dodged a little chunk that was coughed an impressive distance, all the way to where we were standing.

And then a broad grin split my face and I turned to Gaara. "Yes!" I shouted, holding up my hand for a high-five. He stared at it for a second, bemused. I rolled my eyes and said, "It's a high five, you're supposed to slap my hand, you know, like a clap."

He blinked and said, "Oh. Right." And awkwardly swatted my hand with his. I busted out laughing.

After a moment I calmed down and observed the remains of the tower proudly. "Well, I think that was a success!"

His face turned towards me and I could see the pleasure glittering in his eyes and his lips quirked up into a small smile. "Yes." And then he said, "I would like to try something else as well, if you aren't too tired yet."

"Nope, I can go a little longer. What did you have in mind?"

"You mentioned earlier about some sort of sand spear propelled by wind. That seems like it would work well, based on what we just did."

I hummed, thinking. "Yeah, I can see what you mean. Instead of using loose sand, you'd just have to make a spear with a corkscrew sort of shape, and then I could spin my wind around it and make it go super-fast. It wouldn't have as much power, but it would be easier to aim, so we could take out a smaller target without demolishing everything around it. That might be useful. Particularly on the battlefield." I mused.

Gaara nodded and set about remaking the sand tower to use as a target again. And then he pulled some sand together in front of us, and the form of a very long spear took shape. "Use your wind around the spear. I will adjust the shape to accommodate your wind stream."

I nodded and sent out a breeze to corkscrew around the spear, which immediately morphed at the touch of my wind, deep grooves appearing all along it. And then it hardened. I slid my breeze into the slots created and then said, "Can you bring the edges of the grooves out a little more? I think I'd be able to get more force behind it with a barrier I can push against."

He nodded and the edges of the groove slid out, looking almost like a blade that corkscrewed all the way down the spear. "Excellent. And hey, that looks like it could do some damage."

"…hm…" He made his Gaara sound, but it definitely sounded enthusiastic, as far as Gaara sounds went.

"Alright, you just keep the sand aloft and balanced, I'll provide the propulsion."

He nodded and both of our stances widened in preparation for the activity. I took a deep breath, made sure my chakra was well balanced, and sent my senses throughout the wind that I had gently coiling around the giant corkscrew of sand. I tuned in till I could feel the texture of the sand, rough against the smooth slide of my wind.

My eyes snapped open, not even aware that they had closed, and I summoned to me my gale force wind, drawing a stream into each fist, I held it there for a moment, stabilizing it, and then sent it forth, bringing on arm up over the other as I directed the stream along the thin delicate line of wind I already had inside the grooves of the sand spiral. My hands spiraled around each other in the same movements as before when Gaara and I were meshing our two elements, so the motions of my body were already known, and I easily sunk into that pattern as I guided the strong gale force winds around the spear.

The spear jerked as I touched it, and Gaara stabilized it, holding its shape and balance firm in the air as my wind swiftly got ahold of it, tightly spiraling around it inside those grooves. It began to move in the air, the spear turning, faster and faster, and a low hum began to sound in our ears.

Gaara held it back, letting me build up the power behind it, and then, as soon as I was ready, he felt it and let it fly. It shot away from us, spiraling through the air, faster than we could believe.

And it _**screamed.**_

The loud, high pitched whistle sound that came from the weapon shocked me, but I was concentrating too hard on keeping its flight stable to let myself react as I normally would. It hit the tower, bore through, and continued into the dune beyond, burying itself up to the base in the sand and sending up a shower of the sparkling sediment into the night sky. We watched, a little dumbfounded, as the tower creaked and then cracked around the neat hole in its center, toppling over after a long moment of swaying dangerously from side to side.

I glanced over at Gaara when it hit the ground, raising my eyebrows in a ' _well, what do you think_?' kind of way.

He nodded his head and met my gaze. "That worked." He said, sounding very pleased.

"Yep." I responded, and then we both sat down, tired, collapsing back onto the cool sand.

"Phew, what a workout." I sighed, watching my breath ghost across the sky.

"Hm."

I looked over at his moonlit profile, his face also turned upwards, looking up at the stars. I turned my face back up towards the sky. "Hey Gaara?" I murmured quietly, the peace of the moment calling for a softer voice.

"Hm?" He mimicked me, his voice also lowered, the gravelly quality enhanced.

"Do you think you would ever consider being Kazekage?" I whispered, watching the smoke my breath caused.

I felt him tense slightly beside me, and then he inhaled deeply. "Yes."

My heart leapt, truly happy that he was answering me, that he trusted me enough to confide in. "Did you want to be the next Kazekage?"

There was a long pause. "Yes." He said, even more softly, sounding wistful.

There was silence between us for a while. I took a deep breath, feeling a little shy for some reason, perhaps because the situation felt very intimate. Even more softly, almost whispering to the stars, I said, "I think you would be a wonderful Kazekage. Better than..." I sucked in a breath, thinking better of comparing him to his father, even if it was in his favor. "Anyway. I just wanted you to know that. I had a suspicion you were pursuing the position."

I heard him inhale quickly and the sand rustled as he turned his head towards me. I kept looking at the stars, flushing a little.

"Thank you Ren." He murmured gently, his voice almost silky. I had never heard that particular warmth in his voice before and everything in me clenched as my breath sucked in and stayed in my lungs. Holding my breath, I froze. The difference in his voice was…startling. I didn't know what it meant, or why his voice had changed, why it sounded so gentle and tender, but I did know that it sent my heart racing inside my chest.

After a moment I composed myself enough to murmur, "mmhm," in acknowledgement, unable to keep my voice completely steady.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

It's so exciting! They're finally making some progress, and here's a hint...they may be kissing in the next few chapters...so stay tuned. :D

Seriously guys, it's gonna be awesome, well worth the wait.

Sheesh, and Ren finally got her shit together...it's about time...

BTW...This story just broke 300 reviews! YAY! *HAPPY DANCE*


	59. Burn With Me: Chapter 29 & 30

**Chapter 29**

The next week was hectic and very tense.

As the politics heated up, I noticed that Gaara was also getting more and more intensely focused. Personally, I thought he had a very good chance. He was obviously the most powerful shinobi in the village, no one could argue that. And in the length of time since the first disastrous Chunin Exams, Gaara had changed and had become less hostile. Heck, now he had better self-control than I did. And the other villagers had noticed, slowly becoming less and less afraid of him.

I would say that a large majority of them were still a little timid, a little hesitant about him, some of them still outright afraid. But since he had become part of the regular forces, they had slowly accepted him, particularly the shinobi that had been on his squad before. Everyone had begun to realize how he was very protective of those under his command, many of them witnessing him putting _himself_ in harm's way to prevent _their_ harm. Plus everyone knew that he was excellent at strategy, making a fantastic squad leader. Anyone who had ever been under his command would support him becoming Kazekage.

In fact, I had even heard some people talking about it on the training grounds, how they thought Gaara would make a good candidate. The large majority of what I had heard had been in his favor actually. If the council gave him a chance, I was sure that he could easily make the entire village love him as their leader. Of course I already loved him, so perhaps I simply thought it was very easy. But I knew I wasn't the only one.

I knew that Matsuri had stars in her eyes whenever she looked at him now; I recognized a crush when I saw it. And she wasn't the only one, there were a lot of Kunoichi now that I caught looking at him, probably drawn to him as much by his power and reputation, as much as his good looks. Of course I had always seen how attractive he was, but maybe that was because I had been his friend as a child, and so I wasn't blinded by fear. And he had only grown further into that attractiveness.

Over the past year he had had a bit of a growth spurt and had gone from my height, to one or two inches taller, then to at least three inches taller, and now he was maybe even five, but definitely at least four inches taller than me. I was 5'4'' so he was at least 5'8'' but I wouldn't be surprised if he was 5'9'' by now. And his shoulders had broadened a little more, his whole physique very sexy as far as I was concerned.

His face had matured as well, becoming a little longer and more angular. Of course he hadn't grown eyebrows, and it also appeared that he was incapable of growing a beard as well. I had never seen evidence of his shaving, unlike Kankuro who sometimes came down to breakfast with little red spots and a wet chin on occasion. And by the age of 17 one would assume that he would have developed that ability by now, or at least have a little peach fuzz. But no, Gaara was bald, aside from that brilliant red hair on his head, which he was letting grow out just a smidge longer these days.

So yes, I was _very_ aware of just how attractive he was, but that didn't mean that I was fine and dandy with all the other girls in the village making goo-goo eyes at him.

It sometimes drove me up the wall, across the ceiling, and down the other wall with jealousy, an emotion that I discovered I didn't handle very well. Especially not with Kitty Kitty whispering _**Kill them kill them kill them kill them kill them**_ in my head, hating to see it just as much as I did. She already saw Gaara as hers. Well…ours. She was fine with me going after him, but no-one else.

But I was glad that he wasn't hated and feared as much anymore. Even if it meant that I didn't get him all to myself anymore. _Hah, how presumptuous am I?_ I mused as I hopped across the rooftops of buildings with Kankuro. To be considered for appointment as Kazekage, Gaara had to be voted in as a candidate, which was happening today, so Kankuro and I staked out the council building, trying to eavesdrop.

"Okay Kankuro, I'm going to use a sensory jutsu now, so tell me if anyone comes this way. I'm going to see if I can sneak in there."

He nodded and took up a lookout position. We were on the roof of the building next door, pretty inconspicuous, but still, I didn't want to be caught with my pants down or anything. I carefully directed a tiny breeze across the space in between the rooftops, attaching my sensory jutsu to it. When I went in all the way like this I practically left my body defenseless, which is why I had Kankuro standing as a guard.

I snuck under the door, creeping through the hallways to the council chamber, where I had to squeeze under another door, this one quite a bit tighter. After wiggling through I was able to hear voices.

"Next up for consideration, Gaara."

"Seriously?!"

"But he's too young surely?!"

"And with Shukaku…"

"Yet he has made excellent progress."

"True, and there have been no more accounts of Shukaku getting lose."

"But still! Shukaku is powerful and unpredictable, I don't think that would make for a very good Kazekage!"

"Gaara seems to have control over Shukaku."

"By making him Kazekage we could keep a closer eye on him, control him as a powerful figurehead."

"But he has never really been good with orders."

"He has completed every mission successfully."

"True, he does have an exemplary record with succeeding on missions."

"This is Gaara we're talking about right?! Are we actually considering him as a candidate?!"

"He's right! Are you all crazy?!"

"Here! Here!"

"Ladies and gentlemen! Please! Let us set it to a vote and be done with it."

"Very well."

"All in favor?"

"Ay." "Ay." "Ay." "Ay." "Ay. "Ay."

"That's it, the majority has it. Gaara will be a candidate in the proceedings."

I quickly released the jutsu. "Yes!"

"He made it?"

"Just barely, the council was pretty torn. And there was some talk about making him a figurehead, and controlling him, and keeping a closer eye on him as Kazekage. But even so, Gaara can deal with them, and if they trick themselves into making him Kazekage, too bad for them." I replied gleefully.

"Excellent! Let's go tell him."

"Yeah!"

We hustled off. Really it wasn't necessary, as soon as the meeting was over there would be messengers sent to the prospective candidates. Part of it would be asking if they were even willing, the next part would have to do with another vote.

I was much too excited, and let it affect my chakra levels unconsciously, sending me speeding along the rooftops at a speed Kankuro couldn't keep up with.

"That's okay! You go ahead! I'll catch up with ya! Damn she's fast…"

I heard him barely before he was out of earshot.

Frankly, this was dangerous. I was going probably faster than was strictly advisable, and ran the risk of doing another one of those fun somersaults through the air, but at the moment I didn't really care. I zoomed up to the house, having to skid to a stop before the door, and still very nearly taking it off its hinges when I body slammed into it, opening it at the last moment and tumbling into the house in a graceless pile of limbs. I yelped as I slid across the floor.

After a few feet of sliding, I twisted, pushing my hands hard against the ground and vaulting back to my feet, skipping backwards a few steps to catch my balance.

"So?!" Temari asked eagerly, Gaara watching from the kitchen.

"Yes!"

"Yes!" Temari fist pumped the air, excited.

Gaara naturally didn't react, at least not to the untrained eye. I noted how his eyes widened and I heard the faint hissing of his sand as it reacted to his excitement as it rattled around in his gourd, and also heard the faint sound of him sucking in his breath.

Soon Kankuro came in the door, a little breathless.

"Slow poke." I teased, grinning widely.

He glared, pointing at me. "No, you're just fucking insane. You could have broken your neck."

"But I didn't!" I said innocently, giving him puppy dog eyes. He wasn't fooled and snorted.

It wasn't too long before there was a knock at the door. It was the messenger to tell Gaara that he had been made a candidate and to ask if he was willing. Naturally Gaara responded affirmatively and the messenger left to tell the council.

After that, the candidates were called in for a meeting with the council. It all happened very fast, within just a matter of days Gaara was voted in as the new Kazekage. It left my head spinning, even though I had always thought he would make an excellent Kazekage, it was so strange to think of him as such.

When he was being voted in, everyone gathered outside the council hall, waiting anxiously. Right after he had been voted in, he came out of the council hall, looking a little dazed. We all hustled towards him, ignoring the few other candidates that came out as well.

"So?" I asked eagerly, Kankuro, Temari, Matsuri, and even the twins had all shown up to wait for the results.

He looked at us all and nodded, a small slow smile appearing on his face. We all jumped forwards, except for the twins, they still weren't that comfortable with him.

"Congratulations Gaara Sensei! I mean Lord Kazekage!" Matsuri's voice came from the pile, the adoration making my stomach twist.

"I knew you could do it! That's my little brother! The new Kazekage! Wow!" Kankuro bellowed, managing an impressive level of volume, considering he was sort of wedged behind Temari.

"Oh Gaara! I'm so happy for you!" Temari gushed, for once being super sweet and not all snarky or sarcastic like she usually was.

He looked a little uncomfortable with all the physical affection, being hugged from every direction wasn't exactly his thing.

I was so happy for him, for reaching his dream. I smiled at him, meeting his eyes. "Lord Kazekage…" I murmured, addressing him by his new title. His lips twitched at the corners.

And then suddenly, we were all very, very busy. Naturally there had to be a big party to celebrate, and it was in the Kazekage tower. Plus we had to help him move into his new quarters, since he was taking over the Kazekage apartments in the tower, near his new office. That was more Temari's and Kankuro's job though. I was supposed to be in charge of the party, along with the twins. Naturally the twins were decorating, so I was the organizer, making sure that everything came together.

Which boiled down to me yelling at every one. A lot.

"Matsuri! Did you pick up the food?"

"Yes…"

"Excellent, show me."

"Here."

"Put the desserts over there on that table. Let the twins do their thing to it to make it pretty. And put all the salty stuff on that table. And where are the drinks?"

"Drinks?"

"Damn. Okay after that, go get the drinks! I ordered them already, they should be ready for you." I gave her the name and location of the place and she ran off. Without putting the food on the tables.

I huffed loudly and put them on the tables. "Kaoru, Hikaru! We've got food! Now make it pretty!"

"Yes captain!"

"Aye Sir!"

"Smartasses." I muttered.

"Kankuro are you done yet?" I asked as he was walking back down from upstairs, where the apartments were.

"No…"

"Well hurry up! We need some help down here!" I barked, irritated by how long it was taking them to get Gaara moved into his new place. It's not like he had an enormous amount of stuff.

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Oh good lord…"

And so it went for several hours.

Finally everything was ready, just in time, as people began to show up. Thankfully, the twins were the perfect hosts, already all dressed up and greeting people. Gaara wasn't down yet and neither were Temari or Kankuro.

I ran up the stairs to check on them. "Hey guys? You know it's time right?" I busted into the apartments.

Temari looked just about ready and so did Kankuro. Gaara was in the bedroom still getting ready, I guessed.

"Whoa, you guys look great." I said, shocked.

Temari was wearing a beautiful white kimono with purple blossoms, her hair pinned into an intricate bun thing on the top of her head. She was gorgeous. And Kankuro cleaned up surprisingly nice as well, wearing a nice pair of black pants and a nice black shirt, his makeup off and his hair mostly under control. He scowled at me, obviously not happy about the no-face-paint thing.

Gaara walked out of the bathroom and he looked… _wow_. My eyes stuck and stayed, and I knew I was staring, but was too distracted to care, even as Temari started laughing. I'd get her back later. He was wearing a new long red coat, down to his ankles and split up the front and back to flare out when he walked, with black pants underneath and a couple of grey belts strapped around his hips. I guessed that he was leaving his gourd up here, because he didn't have on any of the straps and stuff associated with it.

I swallowed, my mouth dry. Yeah, he looked pretty fucking fantastic. Not that he didn't always look good, but still, that coat really suited him. I finally realized I was staring, perhaps a little too hard, and tore my eyes away, meeting Temari's smirking face. I scowled.

The three of them started heading down. "You can get ready in here. Do you have your clothes?" Temari asked.

"Um…" _Oh shit, clothes._

"Yes. She does! Right Here!"

I groaned, hearing Kaoru's hyper voice from behind Temari. She smirked. "Well I'll leave her to you then. Make sure she's at least somewhat presentable."

"Right!"

I sighed. Actually, for once I was glad to see the garment bag in his hands.

"Here you go! Everything's all ready to go in here." He chirped handing it over.

"Thanks Kaoru."

"No problem."

I took the bag into the other room, noting how Gaara's scent was already spreading from the things in his closet to mark the space of his new bedroom. It was pretty damn luxurious, I had to say.

I took a look in the bag. "Whoa, holy shit." I muttered.

It was a light blue-green dress, the same color as Gaara's eyes I noted amusedly. I pulled it out gingerly, a little wary of the delicate fabric, feeling like I might tear something. The fabric of the dress was silky, and was that gorgeous pale turquoise, with a pattern of tiny bright red blossoms on the collar and sleeves.

I held it up and observed what they had cooked up for me. The style was vaguely kimono-esque, with the traditional deep V neckline that sort of overlapped a little in the stitching. It was definitely lower than what I was used to for sure. It was sleeveless, and had those little red flowers around the shoulders. It was floor length, the skirt more narrow at the top around my hips and then getting more loose and flowy as it went down. It had a slit up one leg, but not so high that I would feel scandalous. Over all it was quite beautiful.

I carefully put it on, realizing that I would need to take off my breast bandages. So I did that, with a sigh. I shivered, the silky material feeling weird against my breasts. Overall, it felt wonderful though, the material super soft and luxurious on my skin. Once I had managed to shimmy into it and tied the thin bright red sash around my waist so that the tails dangled far down the skirt in the back, I looked in the mirror. It was beautiful, and naturally fit perfectly. Of course my sealing jutsu was peeking out of the neckline quite a lot, so I hoped Kaoru had some more of that scar-hiding cream from before.

I glanced back into the bag, to see if they had considered the issue with me not wearing breast bandages. And yes, I assumed the two strange looking flower shaped things were meant to disguise the shape of my nipples under the thin silky material. I picked them up and investigated them, noting the way they had waxy paper on the backs that could be peeled off, revealing the sticky backing. Ew. This was going to feel weird.

I grimaced and stuck them on. Yep, they felt really weird. But I figured I would get used to them soon enough.

I walked back out into the room, putting on the matching red, strappy shoes as I went.

"Wow …" Kaoru murmured, looking me over. "Here, let me do your hair."

I nodded and sat down with my back to him. He put my hair up in a bun, sweeping up my ponytail with my shorter hair and pinned it in place with a few silver sticks. From each stick dangled a perfect little red flower gem. And then he came around to my front brandishing makeup. He ignored my grimace and dusted a little bit of white shimmery stuff on my eyelids, painting my eyelashes black again, and then painted red onto my lips. He used a spongy tipped brush to apply that cream to my chest, masking the jutsu mark, although it was still faintly there. Once finished, he stood back, and then adjusted the crest on my necklace to dead center.

"All right, I think you're ready." Kaoru hummed and opened the door for me, bowing and waving me out theatrically.

I snorted. "Goofball." And then as I passed him I said, "Thanks." I was actually very appreciative of his help in this situation.

And so I walked down the hallway and then came to the top of the stairs to go down into the party area. As I moved I was constantly reminded of the novelty of having silk against my skin and wearing a skirt without pants as the material rubbed against my legs. That was weird, but kinda nice.

Unfortunately, being as I was in the Kazekage apartments, it meant that I had to take the big staircase down into the party, since it was on the lower floor and the apartments were up the stairs. Which meant that it felt like I made some sort of ' _entrance_ ' as I walked down the stairs. Most people were focused on Gaara thankfully, so only a few people looked over to see the new person coming down the stairs, Kaoru trailing behind me.

Still, it was uncomfortable. The few people who did look over made me feel very…undressed. I was so unused to wearing dresses like this. As I looked down on the party, I glanced around and found Gaara, surrounded by people and looking a little stressed but happy. I grinned, my heart warming and helping to ease some of the discomfort. At that moment he looked up, his eyes landing on my form and his pale eyes opened wide, the turquoise color visible even from this distance. His expression was a little…shocked. His mouth even popped open a little. And of all crazy things, I could see a little flush rise on his cheeks.

I gulped, a little nervous. I practically felt undressed already, and his gaze wasn't making that any better. In fact, he was looking at me so intensely that I suddenly felt downright naked. I glanced away from him and scooted down the stairs, managing to do it gracefully somehow, even with me feeling like a bumbling, embarrassed idiot. Maybe it was the dress. Somehow the silky feel of it actually made me move more gracefully, as if my body said, ' _wow, this feels snazzy, better look the part._ '

When I got down into the party Temari immediately came over. "You look amazing!" She gushed, her eyes bright and a flush on her cheeks. She looked so happy right now, and I understood the feeling. We were all ecstatic about Gaara's success. I grinned, and then got distracted by a flash of red somewhere in the crowd.

"Thanks." I murmured, looking around for Gaara again.

He was being greeted by many different people, all of who looked pretty important. In fact, he was practically swarmed by everyone that wanted to congratulate him. I could tell some people were trying to flatter him and get friendly to earn some brownie points right from the start, hoping to sneak their way onto his good side.

I snorted. Yeah, they didn't know Gaara at all. He'd be the kind of leader that wouldn't be sucked into all that stupid nonsense. He wasn't fooled easily, and he wasn't in the habit of handing out favors. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was going to be busy for a while, so I made my way to the food table, deciding to go enjoy some of the food, since I had been so busy I hadn't been able to eat yet.

 **Chapter 30**

It was a really big, freakin' party, and seemed to be going on forever.

I began to feel kind of left out, and a little off. I mean I was super happy for Gaara, but still … watching the fan girls fawning over him hurt me in weird ways. I knew I was jealous, and that was not good.

I rarely let myself think about how much I loved him, for obvious reasons. Of course I knew I loved him, it was impossible to ignore, but I just tried not to think about it too much. And I actively acknowledged that I was attracted to him, Kitty hadn't let me ignore that. But even before her, I had been able to admire him from a distance and find him beautiful. I absentmindedly ran my fingers over my hip, as I remembered the first time I had seen him, so long ago.

The first time I saw him, even with blood spattered on his cheeks, I knew he was special.

And now he was the Kazekage. He had become a truly magnificent young man, the heart throb of all the village girls, the hero of the entire village. The same village that had shunned and hurt him all his life. I wondered how he had forgiven them. I mean even I still held some resentment towards them for hurting him.

I felt a flash of anger about how they were allowed to faun all over him, how those girls over there were allowed to touch his arms and shoulders as if he was a damn prize stallion. And these were the same girls that had thrown rocks at him, ran away from him, talked about him behind his back, and now they were hanging off him like a stupid, twittering, feathered boa. I felt rage that they, _they_ were even touching him.

My thoughts grew sour. _And_ _here I am. I've been with him all this time, never shunning him, never cringing or running, and I'm standing over here, sulking in the shadows. While they're all over him._

And that's why jealousy was so annoying. It kind of forced me to acknowledge the way I felt in a violent sort of way.

I shook myself out of my bad thoughts. _No. Stop it right now damn it. They haven't done anything wrong, they're just doing what fangirls do._ I thought my thoughts turning acidic again.

I face palmed, sick to my stomach at how stupid I was being. I was a damn shinobi, why was I letting this shit get to me so badly?

 _ **Well, that's obvious….**_ Miss Pussy Cat hissed in my brain, obviously riled up too. _**They're touching what belongs to US! He's our mate!**_

I jerked in surprise at her interruption. "Shut up cat…" I muttered under my breath, flustered.

She just laughed.

"Damnit." I cussed, under my breath, taking a deep calming breath. I froze. Wait … did she just say _mate_? Now that was pushing it a little… plus, she was right. I was so very jealous…how nice. "Well fuck…." I groaned, hating to be called out on it by her snarky voice in my head.

"You sure are using a lot of foul language." Came a laughing voice from behind me. I jumped and whirled around, only to come face to face with a purple-face-paint-less face. His normal face always threw me for a loop.

"Damn it Kankuro! Why'd you have to try and give me a heart attack?"

He laughed even harder. Once he had calmed himself he inquired, "So, what's got ya in such a bad mood?"

"Don't ask …" I muttered. Already fed up with this stupid party.

"Well it's already kinda too late for that …" Kankuro pointed out. "So?" He stared at my carefully blank face.

"No, I'm not good at sewing …" I replied snidely.

He snorted. "Haha very funny. But seriously, what's up with you? You look seriously constipated or something."

"Oh gee, thanks. Just what every girl wants to hear." I answered sarcastically, already in a pretty bad mood, and it was quickly going downhill from there. I flinched when I heard yet another round of raucous giggling coming from Gaara's general vicinity.

Kankuro raised his eyebrows and glanced over my shoulder to see the sight of his brother draped in every flavor of girl imaginable, doing his utmost to politely shake them off. He busted out laughing.

I glared at him "What's so funny, jackass?"

He doubled over and grabbed his knees for support while guffawing. After gaining some resemblance of composure he said, "I see, so you're pissed off because all those pretty girls are messing with your boyfriend is that it?"

He only just barely dodged the punch aimed at his head. Lucky for him, not so much for me when I suddenly found myself stuck armpit deep in the wall. "Oh for fucks sake." I glared over my shoulder at a hysterical Kankuro. "You're a real asshole you know that?!"

Temari picked that moment to come over, "What in the …?" She started with her eyebrows raised, then turned to look at her brother and her eyebrows did an abrupt reversal and slammed down into a frown. "Oh. What did you do Kankuro?"

He immediately stood up. "Hey why's it always my fault? She's the one that put her fist through the wall." Temari just raised one eyebrow and smirked.

I chose to ignore them both and turned back to the wall to try and extricate myself.

I had accidently used the new punch that I had been working on, where I used my wind to basically make a corkscrew around my fist and arm, so it worked like a drill. I had honed my chakra so that less of the destructive energy of my punch was wasted outwards, and thus made the punch itself much more powerful. I had come up with the idea once when I had seen Sakura punch a wall and leave a crater outwards, but hadn't achieved much in the way of distance. By doing this new punch I was able to greatly increase my forward range. Actually, I sincerely hoped there weren't any structures directly behind this wall.

But the problem that I had discovered with this new punch was the current predicament that I was in at the moment. The hole that I made was narrow enough for my fist to go through, however because of the corkscrew pattern of my chakra I was now securely wedged into the hole and I could feel the ridges digging into my skin and threatening to rip as I tugged harshly at my arm trying to extricate myself from the wall.

"Goddammit! I am not a fucking screw!" I growled as I tried to rotate my arm in such a way that it would 'unscrew' itself from the ridges.

This exclamation naturally just sent Kankuro into a brand new fit of laughter, which I completely ignored. I probably should have paid attention when his laughter included hooting, snorting and other random noises reserved for particularly amusing moments.

"What happened?" Came the familiar gravelly, monotone voice from just behind me.

I flinched violently, probably only wedging myself deeper into the wall, and attempted to look at Gaara over my shoulder. That turned out to be a bad move. Gaara was much closer than I had thought he was. Well, his voice had come from right behind me so I should have known, but still…

As it turned out he had come up behind me and was currently peering over my shoulder to look at what exactly I had managed to do, and he had his head cocked and turned towards me a bit to get a better angle when looking at my preposterous situation. Thankfully, when I jerked my head towards him abruptly I sensed his proximity in just enough time for my reflexes to slow me down so that instead of colliding painfully, I simply bumped into his face with my own. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you looked at it, our heads were at just the right angle so that our cheekbones, noses, and most embarrassingly the corners of our mouths bumped.

We both gasped and he leapt away. I attempted to as well but was, of course, unable to. I glanced at him out of the corner of my, probably very wide, eyes. His eyes were certainly very wide, and he was blushing just a little. Given the warmth of my face at the moment, I knew I was much redder than he was. Thankfully Gaara seemed to have been able to shake off all his fan girls, at least for the moment. I shuddered to think what would have happened had they witnessed that. I probably would have been crucified.

Gaara's wide normally unblinking eyes very _slowly_ blinked and I shivered, hopefully not hard enough that anyone would notice. I turned back to the wall, hoping to hide my red face, listening as it sounded like Temari was currently dragging Kankuro off somewhere, based off of the cusses. _Thank god for that._

I had originally chosen the space to sulk in, before being rudely interrupted by Kankuro, and so we were left alone, in a relatively shadowy secluded spot. I glared at the wall as if it had intentionally caused this whole problem. I growled and tried once again to wiggle my arm free of what felt like the mouth of some very large worm with sharp teeth. Now that I thought about it, there were actually quite large desert worms that were reported to have rows of teeth all down their throat. The thought wasn't particularly comforting.

"Stop." Gaara's voice murmured firmly, once again relatively close. I froze. This time I turned my head very, very slowly and leaned back just a smidge. He wasn't as close this time, though given what had just happened, he was certainly much too close for comfort. I felt my body tense and my face exude a good amount of heat. Again.

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, a slight ting of pink high on his cheeks, and just the corner of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. I blinked; surprised that he wasn't more disturbed by our previous contact. Normally he seemed to avoid all physical contact, seeming extremely uncomfortable with it. _Well…then again….I always seem to be the exception to that rule._

"Hold still." He said softly, moving just a little closer to get a good look at the point where my arm disappeared. His deep voice at this proximity and the heat I could feel coming off his body barely an inch behind mine sent intense shivers skittering down my spine. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye again, probably able to feel the slight movement considering just how close he was. I blushed even more and looked at the wall.

"I'm going to use my sand." He warned me, his voice still soft so as to not attract any attention to us from the partygoers. Despite having my arm stuck in a wall, the situations suddenly seemed very intimate, shadowed, alone, using hushed voices. Not to mention that his voice, when hushed like this, was even deeper than usual, lowering from his normal gravelly rasp to a much smoother rumble. The sound and situation had me trembling very lightly, unable to take the intensity much longer. I may have a good handle on myself and my stupid body's reactions to his scent, but this was pushing it. It was a good thing I'd been working on controlling the cat and my own urges, because if I hadn't I would have totally made a fool of myself by now. All that training really helped to keep the lust at bay. That, and the pain that my arm was starting to feel, now that the initial shock was wearing off.

I was still somewhat unprepared for the feeling of his sand against my skin. He started higher up on my arm, higher up than necessary really. Perhaps he was trying to get me used to the sensation of it? I mean, I had been completely immersed in it many times before so that would be kind of stupid. But then again, that contact had usually been while in training, sparring, or battle situations. Perhaps it was to judge my reaction to it outside of a scenario involving physical conflict?

Whatever the case, it trickled down my arm, heading for the hole. I would never get used to the sensation of his sand. On the one hand, sand is intrinsically grainy. However, he had used sand so fine that it almost felt silky to the skin on my arm, and it felt warm, charged with his chakra. The way he manipulated it, it was so sensuous that it reminded me almost of the rippling muscles of a snake, a metaphor I knew I had used before. It felt silky, but he was using such a light touch that it almost tickled as well. I did enjoy playing with his sand and the way it felt, I was just unused to having him be in charge of it while it touched me.

I sucked in my breath as the sand slowly trickled down my arm, giving me goosebumps at the delicate touch. I saw his head tilt out of the corner of my eye, but I refused to look at him, sensing that he was looking at me. I blushed. Again. Seemed I was doing a lot of that at the moment.

Once the sand reached the hole, Gaara squinted his eyes, getting a more intense look of concentration on his face. I figured he was probably sensing using the sand, and the thought struck an intrigue within me. "Can you see with the sand?" I asked softly, curious. We had talked about it some before, and he had mentioned that he could sense chakra with it, but I wasn't sure what sort of sense he was using now.

He paused for a second, thinking. "It's more like feeling. But yes, I can use it as an extension of my senses."

I nodded.

He carefully worked his sand deeper and deeper into the hole, and he quirked a non-eyebrow as he quickly discerned the corkscrew internal structure. "What exactly did you do to get your arm wedged in this way?"

"I was aiming for your stupid brother's head." I grumbled, still sulking over Kankuro's ' _boyfriend_ ' comment. That was getting so incredibly old.

Gaara chuckled, the sound deep and making me force myself to not shiver again.

As his sand snaked around my arm, following the corkscrew, he started to frown. His eyes suddenly narrowed and I felt more than heard the barely discernable deep rumble that came out of his chest. I felt a strange shift in the pattern of movement within the sand, almost like a backwards ripple was traveling through the sand. Strangely I noticed that the sand nearest the hole began to turn red, and as soon he saw that he hissed and worked more quickly. I realized that the ripple through his sand had been him bringing some of the bloody sand back out of the hole to verify that it _was_ blood. I must have injured myself, perhaps while attempting to get free.

Working more swiftly, Gaara quickly reached my hand and then with a single motion, his sand pushed out against the stone of the wall, making more room. He quickly spiraled his sand, reverse to the spiral embedded in the stone and immediately freed me that way. His sand coated my arm so that I could draw it out of the hole without being worried about scraping it on any sharp rocks on the inside.

Once I was released, he hesitated, obviously wanting to linger and help. But I knew he had to get back to the party, he was the guest of honor after all. "Don't worry about it. I'll wrap it up really quick. Do you have any bandages or anything upstairs?"

He nodded and I scooted off, back up the stairs, to find the said bandages. I found them in his new bathroom, and I quickly wrapped them around my arm, not spending a lot of time or attention on it. And then I went back down to the party.

First thing I did was find the twins. "Hey guys, is there something I can use to cover up this eyesore?" I asked, pointing to the ratty bandage.

"Damn! What did you do?" Hikaru asked.

"It's not important." I shrugged, not wanting to get into the details.

"Sure, sure."

"I think I have something that will work." Kaoru darted off and was back quickly, toting a shawl the right color to go with the dress, which made me wonder how many accessories they had stashed in random places.

He draped it artfully over my elbow around my back and then the other elbow, tugging it so it went up my arms a little and then draped over my forearms, successfully hiding the bandage.

"Excellent. Thank you." I sighed, glad for once about their weird chipmunking habits when it came to outfit accessories.

"No problem. But you do know that you're going to have to tell us what the heck happened right?"

"Sure, sure." I mimicked Hikaru from earlier and rejoined the party. Not that I had been particularly active before, preferring to sulk in a corner instead.

After a while I noticed I was bleeding through the bandages. "Shit," I hissed when I peeked under the shawl, noting the way red was blossoming over my inner forearm. I guess I nicked a pretty good vein. _Damn._ But it was okay, for now.

Thankfully the party wasn't planned to last too much longer. This was a celebratory / introductory party, introducing Gaara as the new Kazekage. But honestly, it was more of a formality than anything else, so all the important people in the village could see for themselves how he had matured and shit. So it wasn't necessary for it to last the whole night or anything.

Before it ended though, there was supposed to be some dancing. I had sort of forgotten about that. After all, I hadn't been in charge of that bit. Someone else had been in charge of the music and stuff. I groaned, hearing the musicians tuning up. Seriously, when was this party gonna end? I had been relatively nice up till now, not killing any of the pretty little girls that kept wanting to talk to Gaara, wanting to get close to him, wanting to touch him, despite how much it was bugging me and Kitty both.

Not to mention my arm was seriously starting to throb. It was putting me in a really bitchy mood, and if things continued much longer I knew I was going to do something stupid, like rip the fangirls off him and clock them. Well, except for Matsuri, I still had a bit of a soft spot for her, even if she did annoy the heck out of me at the moment.

Naturally, all the girls were hanging onto him, wanting to get the first dance. He was looking downright stressed out, perhaps even a little pissed off, possibly terrified. I growled, wanting to … well do some damage. It was really driving me nuts.

Thankfully Temari intervened, grabbing him away from the crowd of girls, scaring them off by being his big sister, and by having big boobs, and frankly she could just be really scary sometimes. As the first song started she twirled with him around the dance floor. Surprisingly it looked like he could dance pretty decently. He was keeping up with her at least. He didn't look particularly happy about it though. Despite his stoic expression, I thoroughly enjoyed watching him move with her across the dancefloor. As with Taijutsu, he moved surprisingly gracefully, and that red coat of his flared out now and again and I once again found myself attracted to his new wardrobe. That was a very sexy coat.

There was a smattering of polite applause as the song ended, and more people got on the dance floor as the next song started. Temari swung over to where I was, grabbed me, switched places before either Gaara or I knew what was going on, and suddenly we were left on the dancefloor, staring somewhat wide-eyed at each other in surprise. I don't know how she managed to do it so flawlessly, but she even got me into the same position she had been, his hands on my waist and my hands on his shoulders.

Oh shit…I didn't know how to dance.

I must have looked terrified, because Gaara immediately looked concerned, his head lowering a little and he whispered, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to dance!" I whispered back urgently, my eyes probably insanely wide.

"Oh. Don't worry, you'll do fine." He whispered, not really making me feel any better. "Just move when I move and keep your feet mobile. It's like sparring."

"Oh. Okay. I can do that. I think." I muttered, peeking down to see my feet.

And then we had to move, because his fangirls were starting to coalesce near us, perhaps taking our stillness for hesitance on my part and ready and eager to take my place. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to cut in. Yeah, well, good luck to them. I was finally where I wanted to be, not necessarily on the dancefloor, but I had Gaara all to myself now, and they weren't getting him back anytime soon. _Sheesh, talk about territorial. I can't tell whether it's Kitty or me anymore._

Once in the center of the floor, safely away from the feminine mob, he moved very slowly, just kind of back and forth at first and then rotating a little in a circle. After the first song ended without me falling or tripping over him, he started moving forwards a little, which meant I needed to walk backwards, and still not step on his feet.

After a minute he sighed and tilted my chin up with a finger, the contact making me suck in a deep breath. "Don't look at your feet."

"Oh."

Of course now I didn't know where to look. He was looking right at me, so if I looked at him I would meet his eyes, which seemed a little uncomfortable at the moment. I could feel the problematic warmth filling my cheeks as I sort of looked off to the side. Doing that, I could see all the jealous fangirls lining the dance floor and a smug grin spread across my face without thinking about it. _Ha, let them see how it feels. Damn little…. whoops. Nice. Must be nice._

"What is it?" Gaara inquired softly, noticing my smirk.

Without thinking about it I turned my eyes to his, forgetting for a moment that we were dancing, though I continued to sort of follow his lead, very clumsily though. "Oh, just admiring that lineup of girls you've got giving you googly eyes."

He scowled. "Hm."

I giggled, relaxing a little in his arms, which was really very hard to do. I could feel his hands against the skin on my back, the warmth translated incredibly easily through the thin silky material of my dress, and the sensation was burning into my mind like a neon sign. Kitty was of course jumping up and down.

 _ **Take him! Take him! TAKE HIM! TAKEHIM! TAKEHIM! TAKEHIMTAKEHIMTAKEHIMTAKEHIMTAKEHIM**_

And on and on and on and on and on. It was easy enough to tune her out though. She fell into a rhythm and I could easily dismiss her. She was much too excited to think of inventive ways of getting my attention.

But seriously, those hands…they were practically burning my skin, in the absolute best way possible. They were extremely warm, but then again, I always knew that he ran at a hotter body temperature than everyone else for some reason. I gulped, doing my best to ignore what almost felt like skin on skin contact and the way is arms gently bracketed my torso. Not to mention that my hands were up on his collar, which meant every so often his red hair brushed against my fingers, and that made me want to bury my fingers completely into the crimson strands.

But it was all a little easier to ignore, when I focused on his fangirls and poked fun at them. "What's wrong? You don't like having a fan-club?" I teased, noting the way his lips thinned a little.

"Not particularly."

"And why not? It's flattering! They all think you're so handsome and powerful and strong and elite and hot and sexy and oh my god I can't do this…" I trailed off into laughter after trying to imitate a fangirl's voice and description of Gaara, actually using the tone and words that I had overheard before. "I can't believe what I've heard tonight. Oh they are so funny to listen to."

I saw a little twitch at the corners of his lips as he watched me laughing. "What all have you heard?" He asked, sounding particularly unenthused, and rather sardonic.

"Oh you know…the usual." I giggled, flapping one hand in the air over his shoulder.

He looked confused. "…the usual?"

"Yeah. I mean I've heard most of it before one time or another. Especially lately." When he still looked confused I imitated a fangirls voice again and fluttered my eyelashes, "Oh his eyes are so pretty, and his hair is so beautiful and I want to run my fingers through his hair, and he's so sexy and powerful and strong, and did you hear how he defeated so-and-so," I shifted back to my normal voice, "and on and on and on." I rolled my eyes.

He blinked. If anything he looked more confused. "They think my eyes are pretty? How strange."

I busted out laughing. He wasn't fishing for compliments, he was honestly bemused, and I found that hilarious.

Eventually I managed to get a hold of myself, quickly realizing that laughing and dancing didn't mix as I stumbled a little and bumped into Gaara, which was not good for my sanity at all. After calming down somewhat I sighed, both amused and exasperated at his obliviousness. "You are a _very_ attractive guy Gaara. Of course they're going to be all over you. Your appearance is very…unique. Exotic even. Having no eyebrows, the coal black around your eyes, which are such an unusual pale shade of greenish blue, but still quite colorful in the right light, your super bright red hair, even the red kanji on your forehead. It all sort of comes together for you." I said it matter-of-factly, not really thinking about what I was telling him, or what I might be giving away. I kind of just thought it was common knowledge. "I mean, come on. Look in a mirror, Gaara."

He blinked, quite a lot, looking surprised. His rhythm skipped a beat and the awkward pattern I had set up, which was still very clumsy, stumbled. I hissed, almost stepping on his feet. "Oh shit. Sorry." I think I actually did get one of his toes.

He didn't really respond, but he did pull me closer until my body was almost up against his. I sucked in a breath, surprised and uncomfortable with the close contact, discomfited and elated and terrified and excited all at once.

"It would be easier for you to follow my movements, if you could actually feel them." He drawled, a little teasingly.

I glared up at him, finding it even more obvious this close up that he was a good 4 or 5 inches taller than me. "Are you teasing me?"

He looked down at me playfully, the little smirk on his lips distracting me. "Perhaps."

I went back to scowling, although it was obviously fake. "Now see here Mister Kazekage, you are being a little bit of a brat."

His eyebrows that weren't there rose in surprise and then lowered as he play-glared back at me. "Is that so?"

"Yes Sir." I joked back, grinning.

His lips curled a little, just a tad evilly and he pulled me a bit closer, pressing me to his body as he began to take longer steps, speeding up our dancing.

I gasped, laughing as I scrambled to keep up. "Okay, okay! I give!" I wheezed, giggling and hanging onto his shoulders for dear life.

He smiled a little more softly and he slowed down again as we continued to dance. It was true though, now that I could feel how his body was moving it was easier for me to naturally follow his movements. We danced for a little while, and surprisingly, once I got over my awkwardness, it was fun. And yes it was also arousing to feel his body that close to mine, close enough to feel the way he moved, particularly since I was wearing silk and I could clearly feel him pressed up against me. But I mostly tried to avoid thinking about that.

After a while I got a little embarrassed again, and blushed, looking over his shoulder a little instead of keeping up what was quickly turning into uncomfortable eye contact. I happened to notice my arm, which was definitely very red by now. _Hmm, not good._

Thankfully it sounded like the band was slowing down, and getting ready to call it a night. After they stopped, everyone groaned, especially all the girls that didn't get a chance to dance with Gaara. But I sighed with relief. I leaned against Gaara for a second when we stopped dancing, feeling a little lightheaded. That wasn't a good sign. When I looked closely I could see that the shoulder of his coat was damp, but it was already the color dried blood, so you couldn't see the blood. _Oh boy. Why am I such a klutz? I always end up injuring myself somehow._

He must have felt the dampness because I saw him twitch his shoulder and look down at it, and even saw his nostrils flare as he sniffed the air over his shoulder. He swallowed and then sought out my arm with his eyes. I sort of hid it behind my back. His eyes narrowed.

He was taken away by all the people who wanted to tell him goodnight, and I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with an inquisition quite yet. I sat down, a little woozy. Surprisingly Gaara managed to quickly say goodnight to everyone he needed to within the span of a few minutes. I guess he had already planned his escape route. Before I thought possible, he was standing before me again and he pulled on my good arm, leading me up the staircase again.

I happened to glance back down to note the venomous stares of the other girls. Oops, I guess it looked like he was leading me back to his rooms and they were filling in the blanks with improper shit. But I wasn't going to correct them, maybe it would dissuade them from being pests. I grinned a little evilly.

He led me back to his rooms and immediately pointed to the couch and said, "Sit," firmly. He used his best bossy tone, I guessed, because he had noted how I was a little wobbly.

I sat.

He brought out fresh bandages, water, a cloth, antiseptic, and other shit. He sat next to me on the couch and gently picked up my arm, which did hurt quite a bit now. I bit my lip and turned away, not wanting to show how much it hurt as he delicately detached the hastily thrown together gauze from the scabs that hadn't really formed, but the bandage stuck to the raw cuts.

 _Youch, bad idea to punch Kankuro._

He carefully took off all the bandages and then washed my arm with the cloth. "Um, you're getting blood on your new couch." I noted dully. The water and blood were dripping off my arm and onto the couch beneath us.

He didn't even look. "I don't care."

"Oh. Okay. Good then."

He tenderly cleaned all the cuts and then put on a cream that would help the one that kept bleeding to go ahead and just fucking calm down already. He put on antiseptic cream and then rebandaged me.

"Thank you," I murmured, feeling so fucking tired. I guess I must have lost a little more blood than I had thought.

"Take the bed. I'll sleep here tonight."

"Huh? No, no, that's okay. I don't want to oust you from your new bed. I'll just go home, it's no big deal."

He pinned me with a look and I heard the door lock behind me. When I turned to look I saw a little sliver of sand slithering back into his gourd. "You will do no such thing. Stay. I will take the couch."

 _Eep. Gaara's in bossy mode again._

"Uh. Okay. Thanks." I muttered, not up to fighting with him about it. I stood and then looked down, remembering that I was still in that silk dress.

"There's something you can wear in the bathroom." Gaara murmured, noting my gaze.

"Oh. Thanks." I said, blinking.

I staggered into the bathroom, found a very large, well-worn black t-shirt, and somehow I suspected it was a hand-me-down from Kankuro, given the size. I slipped out of the dress and slipped into the shirt, noticing a pair of pajama bottoms to go with it. These were definitely Gaara's because I just had to tie the drawstring tight for them to fit relatively well. Kankuro's would have swamped me.

Once properly clothed for bed I stumbled out and flopped onto the bed, mumbling some sort of goodnight to Gaara before I immediately went to sleep.

And naturally I went right into a nightmare, a really stupid one, involving fan girls smothering Gaara to death. I woke on a gasp, feeling beyond disturbed that my mind could cook up that shit. I sat up groaning and rubbing my eyes, wincing when the bandage pulled.

"Stupid subconscious." I grumbled, thoroughly cranky about having such a dumb nightmare in the first place.

"Nightmare?" I heard his rumbly voice near the bed, and looked over, seeing his shadowy form. He must have turned out all the lights after I fell asleep, because it was pretty damn dark in here.

"Uh. Yeah. A really stupid one." I sighed, flopping back onto the bed.

"Stupid?" he sounded bemused.

"Yeah. You got killed by a mob made of fan girls." I said, finding it difficult to even say it.

I heard him snort, and then saw his figure moving away from the bed. And strangely, I got this sudden intense feeling deep in my gut, almost a panic, at the thought of him leaving. It wasn't because of the nightmare, that had been too dumb to get scared over, but he so often disappeared in my dreams. And in the middle of the night, it suddenly felt like a dream, one of the ones where I called out to him, begging him to stay as he disappeared into the darkness.

I flinched, and a tiny whimper escaped my closed off throat. I closed my eyes in shame at that one telling sound.

"What's wrong? Does your arm hurt?" Gaara was suddenly back at the bed, and when I opened my eyes again I could see how his palms were on the edge of the bed and he was leaning in, his posture, from what I could tell, seemed anxious.

"No. No my arm is fine." I whispered, feeling so silly, and yet still feeling that stupid panicky feeling fluttering inside my chest.

"Then what's wrong?" he questioned.

"I just…I'm…it's nothing." I sighed, looking away.

I could feel his scowl prickling on my head. He just stayed there, watching me, until I sighed again and looked back at him. "You're a very persistent guy Gaara. Did you know that?"

"…hm…" came his soft response. And he showed no intention of moving until, I was sure, I had told him exactly what was bothering me.

"I'm just a little…scared." I mumbled into my knees. "It's not the nightmare…that was just stupid…but…I guess…I'm…" I sighed, unable to bring myself to say it. And then suddenly I was struck by a memory, the similarity of the current situation bringing it to the front of my mind, and I chuckled. "This is so similar to that time so long ago. Do you remember? It was when we first met, and I guess I had gotten a fever, because you took me back to your house. And then you bandaged me up, and I got all scared about going to sleep…wow. That's just nuts." I shook my head.

"I remember." He said softly, and I turned to look at him, his shadowy shape in the darkness of the room.

"You stayed with me…" I whispered, almost longingly.

I heard him suck in his breath and he remained quiet.

I built up my courage, really wanting him to stay, but having no idea how to ask. I inhaled deeply, "Would you…uh…" I winced, trailing off. "I mean…it's kind of a big bed…" I mumbled into my knees, just feeling so damn awkward I couldn't even really bring myself to say it.

"Do you want me to stay? Here?" He asked, his voice rough, and deep, and very soft, almost inaudible.

"…yes." I whispered, feeling very shy.

He sucked in another deep breath.

"But not if it makes you uncomfortable or anything…" I hurried to add, worried that he might force himself to do something he didn't want to.

He didn't say anything, just climbed onto the bed with me, and lay down on his back beside me on top of the covers. "I'll stay." He finally murmured.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding.

"…okay…thank you." I whispered, very softly, and then lay back down, on my side, facing him. It helped that it was so dark. I could feel his comforting presence, but I didn't feel quite so awkward.

And I very slowly drifted back off to sleep, his presence soothing that anxious worry gnawing inside of me and letting me slip into a dreamless, peaceful slumber. And during the night I could have sworn that I heard a deep, peaceful rumble accompanying my dreams.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Yay! Kage Gaara is out and about! It's about time right? Advancing the story *sing-song voice*

Anyway, something special is going to happen next chapter, anyone wanna venture a guess? If you get it right I'll try and post tomorrow. :D _*hint hint nudge nudge*_


	60. Burn With Me: Chapter 31

After a long, dreamless slumber, I woke slowly and peacefully, feeling fully rested. I woke to the sandy desert scent that was Gaara, and immediately Kitty was fussing inside of my head, demanding that I wake up and jump his bones right now. But I simply ignored her, much too relaxed to be bothered by her whining.

For once I let myself feel the full brunt of my love for him, having ignored it for so long, as much as possible, and then of course the lust lately had overshadowed it, making it more difficult for me to just be with him like this. Yet this moment was so peaceful, so beautiful, even before I had opened my eyes. Just feeling his presence beside me as I woke made all the barriers within me crumble into dust. I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes, looking at his slumbering profile.

It had taken months of hard work, but finally, finally now I could be here, simply lying on my side watching Gaara lying on his back, breathing deeply. Momentarily I forgot that he didn't sleep, he looked so peaceful, like he was asleep. _Maybe he is._ _He has to sleep at least a little right?_

I didn't want to disturb him, so I just lay there watching him for long moments, taking in the way his relaxed face looked. The dark circles around his eyes were very prominent, but I could still faintly see his pale red eyelashes resting on his dark underlid, the tips just touching his cheek. His lips were barely parted, the even deep breathing scarcely making any noise as it passed over them. He looked like an angel, so beautiful it made my heart ache, and a single tear slid down my cheek unbid. Even Kitty grew silent inside my head.

His skin glowed in the morning light, the unearthly pale shade, unblemished by scars, and his blood red hair was almost violent, almost too bright. Yet the vibrant color so was gorgeous, so beautiful as I gazed at him. Everything about him was beautiful to me, from the vividness of his hair, the coal black rimming his eyes, the softness of his lips, the paleness of his skin, the bright red kanji on his forehead. I could watch him forever.

I inched closer, ever so slowly, not moving the bed at all, simply gliding closer without disturbing him. I bit my lip, the urge to touch this angel next to me so devastating that I couldn't stop myself. I slowly raised one hand, and brought the tips of my fingers close to his face.

His breath brushed softly against my wrist as I brought it up, and I paused before lowering my hand so that my fingertips hovered over his lips, not touching, simply feeling his warm breath against my sensitive fingertips. My breath caught, the sensation so incredible, so beautiful and intimate in a strange way.

I left my hand trembling there as I slowly regained my own breath and found that it started to naturally match the pattern of his against my fingers. I swallowed as my chest burned, the emotions so strong and overpowering that it felt as if they were physically destroying me. The warm feelings burned hot now, the tenderness so unbearable that I wanted to cry.

And tears did fall from my eyes, I simply didn't notice them, completely absorbed by Gaara. After a while I drifted my hand away from his lips and slowly up to his kanji mark, I hesitated, biting my lips again, my hand trembling as I considered the potential ramifications of this one action. Unable to resist the painful temptation I slowly, ever so slowly, lowered my hand, only just barely allowing my fingertips to grace a strand of hair that fell over his kanji. I froze when his breath stuttered, my heart skipping a beat in my chest as I waited to see if he was about to open his eyes and catch me at my weakest.

I sighed inaudibly as his breathing evened out, my pulse racing beneath my jaw. _Should I continue or back away?_

I couldn't draw back though. It had become a physical impossibility for me. So I took a deep breath and ever so carefully, brushed my fingers across that vibrant strand of hair, lightly moving it to the side. His breathing seemed to hiccup ever so slightly and I paused again, but it resumed its even pattern shortly.

My whole body trembled, but I held my fingers steady by sheer force of will, not wanting to tremble against his skin and wake him. My breath shuddered in my chest as I ever so lightly allowed my fingertips to graze his skin, freezing once again as his breath changed a little. After a moment it evened out and I allowed my fingertips to ghost feather light across the kanji on his forehead, delicately tracing the lines.

I swallowed thickly, the feeling of being suffocated by my own emotions making it difficult to breath, I felt like I was drowning. ' _Love,_ ' that was what I was tracing out on his skin, and it almost felt like I was tracing it into my own heart, carving it deeply as his had been carved into his flesh. Underneath my delicate touch, I could detect the faintly raised skin, the mark definitely a scar.

Unbidden, almost subconsciously my other hand slid down my own body, my fingers seeking out and finding the ragged edges of my own scar, the message essentially the same. Mine read 'hate' while his read 'love' and yet they had been carved into our flesh, carved into our souls, marking us as outcasts and unwanted individuals. His was to tell him to love only himself, because no-one else ever would, and mine told me essentially the same thing, that no-one loved me and no-one ever would.

A delicate pattern of tears steadily made the pillow beneath my head a little soggy, yet I didn't notice. I continued to trace his mark gently, lighter than air, as the fingernails of my other hand unconsciously dug deeply into the raised pattern on my hip. I felt no pain from it. I delicately brushed more of his hair to the side after I had finished tracing the kanji on his forehead several times. I lightly played with the silken strands, entranced by the feel of them between my fingertips.

Emboldened and unable to stop now that I had begun, feeling as if I were dizzy almost, as if I had hypnotized myself, I ever so lightly brushed my fingertips down his forehead. I let them delicately map out his brow, lightly gliding them over the non-eyebrow closest to me, fascinated by the lack of such a normal feature. I rarely noticed it. It only functioned to make him more unique, more distinctly attractive, in a similar way to the unusually pale shade of his eyes, or the way sometimes you couldn't even tell he had a pupil. His was such a striking individual, his appearance so unique and yet so very attractive, even more attractive because of it.

I lightly traced the ridge, feeling very tiny soft hairs tickle my skin. So he wasn't completely hairless, but it was invisible. I was so hypnotized that I failed to notice the slight changes in his breathing anymore, the way it would catch or pause ever so slightly. It was so entrancing, the sensation of touching his skin, even so lightly, being able to map out those planes I had for so long admired. I was intoxicated by it.

Daring to go even further, completely incapable of stopping, I delicately brushed my fingertips over his dark eyelid, fascinated by how soft the skin was there, never having bothered to pay any attention to that when touching my own face. I followed the darkness out to the edge and then under, lightly tracing above his cheekbone. I could feel his breath on my wrist again, my hand low enough on his face. My eyelids fluttered closed as I allowed my fingertips to lightly trace his cheekbone back out to his hair line, lightly following it, my fingers delicately stroking his hair. I would stroke one strand and then move up, stroking the next.

Until I once again reached the kanji on his forehead, drawn back to that, back to the memory of that pain and the meaning behind the mark itself, so desperately in love with him, that I traced it once again, almost wishing that I could make it true, could somehow force him to love me. If he had carved this symbol into his own skin to tell him only to love himself, I wished he would carve it into me as well, maybe that would make me someone he could love too.

But I knew that was impossible, and some small desperate noise softly escape my tightly closed throat, squeezed out by my tightly constricted chest. I sighed a shuddering breath and took my fingers from his skin, unable to bear the pain in my chest any longer.

My breath froze in my lungs as my hand was stopped, a light touch brushed the back of my hand, stopping me from withdrawing my own touch.

The earth ceased to spin, air ceased to matter, all I knew was that I had been caught, by a gentle hand on top of my own, his grasp so delicate that I could have broken it in less than a second. But I suddenly found myself utterly incapable of movement. My eyelids fluttered and then squeezed shut, denying the truth of the situation.

My hand trembled under his own, as his fingers gently coaxed my own to press a little harder into his skin, no longer lighter than air, but fully in contact with him, undeniably touching his face. I felt his head turn, and his hand released mine, but now it was trapped between his cheek and the pillow, and I was too paralyzed to move it, simply letting him rest his cheek on my open palm. I felt his breath shudder across my skin, and yet my own remained locked in my chest.

The breath caught in my lungs exhaled and I gasped harshly when I felt a second touch, this one mirroring my own upon the skin of my hip, where I hadn't realized I had buried my nails into my skin. His fingers delicately worked under my own, eventually releasing the death grip my fingers had locked into. My hand lay limp on top of his, as he lightly caressed the bloodied skin underneath.

I sucked in another deep breath as he traced my own scar, much like I had done to his. My fingers curled around his wrist of their own accord, the sensation nearly making me want to crawl out of my own skin. I didn't like anyone to see it much less touch it, and yet I was conflicted because, it was Gaara who was touching me.

My heart squeezed and I felt like choking, it felt as if my own heart was strangling me, the conflicting emotions so confusing.

His hand rose to touch my cheek, my fingers still cupping his wrist. He brushed his fingertip underneath my eye, making me hyper aware of the moisture there, and I shuddered under his touch. His fingers lightly grazed my cheek and brushed several runaway strands of hair off my face, gently tucking them behind my ear. The sensation of his fingertips lightly grazing my ear forced another shiver from me, the feeling so delicate and almost ticklish, but amazing. The breath hitched in my throat.

He lightly ran his fingers down my neck, resting there with his thumb on my cheek, near the corner of my lips. His thumb lightly stroked me, and I finally opened my eyes, too confused by what was happening to remain passive any longer. I sucked in a deep breath when my eyes met his.

Time froze, as we looked into each other's eyes. My mind went numb, uncomprehending the softness of his gaze. I felt as if I were drowning. I had never seen him look at anything this way before, never seen his face so utterly unguarded, his eyes like liquid pools so clear I could see his soul staring back out at me. Everything about his face was soft, the normal tense mask having fallen away, revealing that same face I had thought was an angel's as he was sleeping.

My breath shuddered deeply in and out of my chest, my entire body trembling with something, something incredible, and beautiful, and terrifying. But the fear melted away, as if I had once again been hypnotized by his eyes, and all that was left was that feeling in my chest, that unbearable tenderness, those feelings of love that were always described as warm and fuzzy but in truth burned like lava sitting in my lungs.

I felt as if I couldn't breathe, even though my breath was sawing in and out of my throat. I felt as if my heart weren't beating, even though it was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. It was impossible, it was impossible to see that same devastating vulnerability in his eyes that I could feel in my own, the unbearable tenderness so raw.

I panted, unable to understand, my world flipped upside down, and suddenly I found myself in a new world where nothing made sense. I desperately searched his eyes, looking for something, anything that would tell me this was real, that what I thought I was seeing was not a dream. I was utterly unable to believe the emotions I could see so clearly in his gentle gaze that pinned me in place as firmly as if he had glared.

His hand on my neck gently but firmly tightened, holding me in place as he slid closer, I guess afraid that I would run from this as I had before. But there was no way I could, not with my entire being paralyzed, not with the way his eyes hypnotized me. His forehead came into contact with mine, lightly pressing to mine, and my eyelids fluttered closed. I could feel his breath on my face, warm and moist. My body was lightly trembling, and it felt as if his hand on my face was also trembling.

His nose lightly brushed against mine, and I gasped softly, my breath shuddering in pants, my mind blank. It was as if I had overloaded and my brain had simply shorted out, only leaving my senses to tell me what was happening.

At the first barely there touch of his lips I gasped again, and flinched from shock. He drew back slightly, and then I felt his lips brush against mine once more. I sucked in a deep breath, not sure what to do, not even sure this was real. A small sound slid out of my throat, almost a whine, drawn out by how hard my heart was squeezing in my chest, once again feeling like it was strangling me.

The sensation of his lips lightly brushing against mine was punctuated by small moments where he withdrew to take a deep breath. It was so soft and gentle and yet it felt like it could break me, my heart jumping viciously in my chest. The little bastard, first it wanted to strangle me and now it wanted to remove itself entirely.

I hesitated, struggling between what felt like reality and what felt like a dream, but eventually I gave in, submitting to the moment. As he drew back again for a breath I pressed closer, this time brushing my lips against his, and was rewarded immediately by the gasp that I felt on my lips. My lips trembled against his, as I pressed just a little closer, increasing the contact from a feather light brush.

I inhaled as I felt him respond, his lips moving subtly against my own, a very slight tentative movement from his lips making my breath catch. I answered what felt like a question, as if his lips had asked the question against my own, very hesitatingly asking if this was okay. My own lips formed what felt like the motions of speaking, various movements that felt strange when pressed against another pair of lips, but that we made every day while forming words. My movements were hesitant like his, subtle, gentle, barely twitching the muscles that I suddenly became hyper aware of in my lips as I tested the waters.

Every slight movement brushed new parts of my lips against his, waking up all the nerves in my lips and making me abruptly realize how sensitive they were. I felt him inhale sharply against me as he pressed a little closer, moving his lips against mine a little more firmly, more eagerly, now that I had given my answer. His thumb caressed the corner of my mouth and I gasped, unintentionally deepening the kiss as my lips parted slightly. And suddenly there was a whole new range of motions that could be made, a whole new series of unspoken sentences that could be said.

He hissed and I felt the inhale, the breath cool as it was pulled over my skin, as our lips fit more against each other, his lips slightly parting as well. The moist inner curve of our lips barely touched, as they now moved a little more firmly, a little more deeply against one another. His fingers twitched against my neck before pressing into my skin, drawing me to him as he pressed closer to me. I gasped again, feeling dizzy and intoxicated.

It was still slightly awkward, both of us fumbling a little in our growing eagerness, neither one of us really sure what exactly we were doing. Still, it was enough to make me flush, as a strange soft noise crept between our lips, and I realized that it had come from me. I blushed and gasped, surprised and embarrassed, not really sure what had happened, but thinking that perhaps I had just moaned softly.

I was almost embarrassed enough to draw back entirely, but Gaara nipped that idea in the bud, his hand tightening firmly against me and preventing me from moving an inch, a very soft growl rumbling against my lips. I trembled against him, caught between embarrassment and the desire to continue, but the embarrassment slowly died away as he continued to kiss me, a little more aggressively now as if that small sound had given him permission to do so. He pushed his lips against mine, moving them against me, and even lightly drawing my lips between his one at a time.

I sighed and sank fully back into the kiss, the embarrassment whisked away by his encouragement. I responded to his caresses, moving my own lips against his again, doubling the sensation.

It lasted for a few more moments before we both separated, panting, both needing air. I still wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but I was happier than I had been ever before in my life so I wasn't inclined to ask questions just this second.

He leaned his forehead against mine again as we both caught our breath.

I was in complete and utter shock. The idea that Gaara actually might reciprocate my feelings was so foreign to me, a concept I had never allowed myself to indulge in, that I simply didn't know what to do with it. _What do I do now?_

I inhaled deeply and slowly opened my eyes, pulling back just a little so I could see Gaara's face without having to go cross-eyed. Did I really see what I thought I had in his eyes when he looked at me before? And then he had kissed me, surely that meant what I thought it did, that he had some sort of feelings towards me. Unless he was just really affectionate after waking up or something, but somehow I doubted that.

His eyes opened when my forehead left his and he looked at me with a slight question in his eyes now, as if to say ' _now what_?' I'm sure I looked just as puzzled, neither one of us really having planned this out very well.

Nervous, I bit my lips, and then shivered when Gaara's eyes slid down my face to lock on my mouth. His eyes switched from tender and questioning to nearly predatory in a heartbeat, and I felt that he might go in for another kiss here in a second, if I didn't derail his train of thought.

I was confused enough as it was. Not that I didn't want to kiss him some more, because I had a feeling that that would become my new hobby, right after Gaara-watching, but I seriously needed to figure out where we stood now. If I loved him, and he felt something like that for me, and we just kissed, what did that mean for us? For our relationship? Our relationship up to this point had been friends, best friends really, so could we continue to be friends, and just be more than that? Or did our entire relationship have to change now?

It was kind of scary to think about, but at the moment I was still buzzed from that kiss, so probably nothing would faze me right now.

Well, almost nothing ...

"Gaara! Get your ass out here! We have a situation!"

Temari's voice shot through the peace and quiet with all the subtlety of a herd of bulls. I hissed, Gaara's eyes popped open wide and we both shot out of bed with lightning speed. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, taking in his rumpled appearance and awkward expression and snorted, never having seen him quite so ruffled before.

He looked over at me and smirked a little, I'm sure finding a similar expression on my face. The humor in this situation was at our expense, but I couldn't help but find it funny nevertheless.

I made a shooing gesture at him, whispering, "Go on! Temari will come in here if you don't and we'll never hear the end of it!"

He snorted and speed-walked out into the hall to see what in the hell happened to make Temari nearly bust down his door.

I heard their voices in the hall and figured now would probably be a good time to try and sneak by Temari. It didn't sound like she was going to be leaving anytime soon and I was hungry. I poked my head out the door and saw that they were right there in front of the door. There was no getting by them unnoticed. I sighed and retreated back into the bedroom.

When a good ten minutes passed and they were still out there, I grunted, and gave up on being subtle. I was hungry damn it, and I wanted to go get some breakfast. I hadn't eaten very much at the party, and nothing really before that. So I was really, _really_ hungry.

I sighed, shrugged, and opened the door, walking out into the living room. I mean really, what could Temari possibly say? She had said everything already I was pretty sure...

The conversation halted, because Temari was the one doing all the talking, and as soon as I walked out of Gaara's bedroom, her mouth stopped producing noise even though it was still open.

I ignored her and collected my shoes from in front of the couch, putting them on, and went to leave. "Sorry guys, but you gotta move. I'm going to go get something to eat." They were right in front of the door, so it was a reasonable request.

"Hold it! Wait just a moment! If you think I can just let you go, after _that,_ you're insane!" Temari barked.

I sighed. "Look, I'm hungry. Can we save the whole interrogation thing till after breakfast?"

"No. This is happening now. Did you seriously think you could just walk out of his bedroom, in the morning, after having obviously spent a night in there, without me saying something?"

"Sure, sure. Move it Blondie." I was done with it and just shoved past, her following closely behind and Gaara trailing after with a mildly amused and irritated expression on his face.

"Did you guys do it finally?" She asked from behind me.

I flushed, and then snorted. "No."

"Huh. Well, did anything happen at all? Or were you both just idiots again?"

"I have no idea what you mean by that." I said calmly.

"Oh come on." She sounded so exasperated.

I chuckled, she needed to really go and fuck a certain pineapple head and get rid of some of that pent up frustration.

I made my way from the Kazekage tower all the way to the food vendor I liked to get breakfast from. Temari grabbed me from the back of my shirt and steered me into a sit down restaurant instead, determined to trap me and make me confess. Gaara followed.

When she shoved me into a booth and then sat across from me I said, "I hope you know you're paying for breakfast." I certainly wasn't going to.

"Sure, sure." She waved her hand.

Gaara took the seat next to me and Temari raised an eyebrow, looking from him back to me. "So spill. What happened last night?"

I shrugged, "I was hurt from punching that stupid wall. Gaara patched me up."

The waitress came and we all placed orders. Once she had left Temari asked, "Okay, so that's how you ended up in his apartment, but how did you end up in his bed?"

"Well, he offered to take the couch. It was really fucking late and I was dizzy. I may have lost some blood. I don't know Temari."

"He wasn't on the couch this morning when I walked in. He walked out of the bedroom door. Just like you." Why did she have to be so freaking observant all the time?

"His bed is massive. I figured it was big enough for both of us without it being awkward. He is my best friend after all." I said, trying to make it sound like it wasn't as big a deal as it obviously was. Especially for the two of us.

I noticed the way Gaara twitched beside me when I said that. I glanced over at him and saw the little smile curling up the edged of his lips. Which made me incredibly, stupidly happy. And I felt perfectly fine about being super-duper happy. For once.

"So you did spend the night together in the same bed." Temari broke my line of thought with the continuation of her ridiculous questions.

"Yes. Nosy." I sighed, slightly exasperated.

"Just checking."

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"And nothing happened?" She prodded.

"Again, I have no idea what you mean." I responded, intentionally being obtuse.

"Either something did happen and you're avoiding the question, or else you really want to piss me off. Or maybe you simply don't know anything and are a hopeless virgin. Which one is it?"

"What is it with you and liking to question other people on whether they're virgins or not?" I asked, referring to that time I had walked in on her pestering Kankuro. Actually, now that I thought about it, she had been insisting that he was and he had been insisting that he wasn't.

"You're still avoiding the question."

"I'm not avoiding it. I'm simply not going to answer it." I shrugged, having no intention of telling her anything.

"Say what now?"

I shrugged again. The food came.

"So that means something happened. Otherwise you would have simply said no."

I shrugged again and began to eat. She had me there, but I still wasn't going to say anything.

"I'm gonna get it out of you eventually. But I'm happy for you two lovebirds"

I flushed.

There was a wonderful moment of silence, and then Temari got curious again. "So even if you didn't actually do it, did you at least kiss or something?"

Finally Gaara put his foot down, "That's enough Temari. What we do in my bedroom, or hers, is none of your business."

Temari paused, mid-question, with her mouth hanging open, staring at Gaara.

Happy that she was finally quiet I said exuberantly, "Yes! Exactly!" and then paused.

It took me a second, but after a moment, I processed what exactly it was that Gaara had said. He had said 'what we do' in the bedroom, which of course suggested that there would be more of that sort of thing for Temari to keep her nose out of. And that meant Gaara might be expecting more of that sort of thing to happen, which I kind of figured, but for him to say it … threw me for a loop. I was left in much the same state as Temari, wide eyed, open mouthed, staring at Gaara, and in my case blushing vibrantly.

After a good few minutes of my gaping at him while he calmly continued to eat, his eyes slowly slid in my direction and he met my consternated gaze. The tiniest of smirks curled the corner of his mouth as he took in my expression. I blinked, my nerves frazzled, and abruptly looked away.

Thankfully Temari broke the sudden tension with a snort and changed the subject, perhaps taking pity on me.

 **End Chapter**

 **Author's Note:**

The long awaited kiss! I hope it didn't disappoint. ;)

I had one person who responded to the prompt on the last chapter, so you have them to thank for the post today. I hope everyone is having a good new year and hopefully this will make it even better. :3

Okay, so this was a super long kissing scene. I'm gonna warn you now, I don't do things half-assed, I put detail into everything, as you might have already figured out, and when it comes to their physical relationship there's gonna be even more detail because I think it's important. All their firsts will be in high-definition detail, because that's the way it is in real life, the first time you kiss someone you pay a whole lot more attention to it than the 246th time you kiss them. So go ahead and expect that there will be some super long chapters with lots of details and emotions and shit as their relationship progresses. And I'm trying to make it realistic, not all rainbows and nonsense, so expect a good amount of awkward, uncomfortable, painful details along with all the wonderful smutty goodness that I'm sure will happen eventually.

And that's the end of my rant

*deep breath*

"Buh-by now."

*waves and smirks and disappears in a puff of purple sparkly smoke, 'cause why the hell not?*


	61. Burn With Me: Chapter 32 & 33

Several weeks after Gaara became Kazekage the council revisited the question of my probationary period. Apparently, I had been under Gaara's watchful eye for long enough, and they wanted to do another assessment to see if I had progressed far enough to be put back on active duty, and live on my own again.

On the one hand this sounded like a great idea, but on the other, I was nervous, remembering the last time I had been put through an assessment from the council. My only hope was that this time it wouldn't be quite so inventive, because naturally Gaara would be making the rules this time, as the new Kazekage. I knew he'd have to be hard on me to prove to the council that I could handle my kitty cat now, but I was confident that he wouldn't be as sadistic as they had been.

And speaking of Gaara…the last few weeks I hadn't seen nearly as much of him as I would have liked. Being Kazekage after such a long hiatus meant that there was _literally_ a mountain of work that he had to accomplish, working night and day to try and catch up. I had seen it myself, and it consisted of stacks and stacks of paperwork, starting on the floor and piled higher than Gaara himself. So obviously he didn't have a lot of spare time right now to explore our new relationship. I totally understood of course, but I missed him.

The day for the assessment came, and I was very, very nervous, to the point that even Temari and Kankuro had both given me words of encouragement.

I entered into that same arena. The council was all lined up again, in the same place as before, but this time Gaara was also sitting up there, with his Kazekage hat and robes on. He stood as I took my position center stage and looked up at him. I immediately felt myself relax a little, just being able to see him calming my nerves some.

"This will be the assessment to determine whether you are ready to go back on active duty as a full ninja of the sand. The results of the test may also affect your rank. Are you prepared?"

I blinked, confused about the rank thing, but nodded. He continued, "Very well, there will be several stages to test your endurance and control. If you lose control, your ninja privileges will continue to be suspended. The first challenge will commence." He sat back down.

Kankuro entered the field. Thankfully he wasn't carrying a basket. He grinned and saluted me with a wave, and then bowed to the council members who huffed.

"You ready Ren?" He called.

"You going to be throwing rotten food at me again?" I called back, only half joking.

He laughed. "Nope, just my puppets this time."

I blinked. Okay, just a strait up sparring match. This was just fine. I grinned. "Bring it on Puppet Master."

Maybe I could show off a little too. If I could prove that I was an asset to the village now, hopefully those dumbass council members would show me a little respect. Not to mention that there was a seriously large turnout this time, ninja of all ranks beginning to line the seats around the arena. I would bet that Gaara had arranged for that, so that there would be no way for the council to worm out of letting me back onto the force. I'd have lots of ninja to back me up. And hopefully they would also stop with the stupid comments.

Those two idiots in the alley way hadn't been the only ones to call me Gaara's plaything, or his fuck buddy, or some other variation of the concept. Not to mention, ever since the rape I had been getting a whole lot of pitying looks, various spoken assumptions that I had overheard about me being too weak to defend myself, wise-ass stupid comments, even stupider and more offensive come-on lines involving the assumption that I was 'easy,' and all sorts of shit that I could do without. Mostly the stupidest stuff was from the guys, but a good number of the Kunoichi seemed to shun me as well, considering it in bad taste to be seen in the company of a whore.

Of course I hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about it, because frankly I could care less. Aside from ticking me off, mostly I didn't give a flying shit, because aside from the twins, Gaara, and the sand siblings, I still didn't socialize much.

I snapped out of my ruminations when Kankuro brought out Crow and Black ant. I took my battle stance, ready to do this and get it over with.

 _You ready Kitty?_

 _ **Let's Play!**_

 _That's what I like to hear…_ I grinned ferally. Poor Kankuro had no idea what was about to hit him.

I waited as Crow and Black Ant approached, Crow doing a nice dive bomb. I had to admire his technique. For a puppet master he was really good, but he was still a puppet master, and puppets didn't stand a chance against me and Kitty.

As soon as Crow got a little too close I started up a small cyclone with a delicate slash of my hand through the air, keeping the funnel nice and tight for maximum damage, sending it right at Crow, who was sent spinning and dismantled into all its little bits.

 _ **Watch out for Black Ant…**_

 _On it…_

He was trying to sneak up behind me, but that wasn't going to work. There were things that Kankuro hadn't seen yet about my new powers. Only Gaara had seen the full extent of my new abilities. There was one really interesting thing I had found out about Kitty, one that took me a while to discover. Actually there were several, but the really odd one had to do with her tail…

 _You ready Kitty?_

 _ **Oh yeah…**_

I reached in and she handed me a little of her chakra, allowing me to take on some of her powers. A shot of pain zinged down my spine, making me arch my back and hiss. This was the part I didn't like. One by one, shards of pain pricked me as small slender spikes emerged from my spine, which startled Kankuro enough that Black Ant paused in it advance, which was perfect.

"Shit…" I groaned, the final zap always the worst. My tailbone felt like it had been pinched and then yanked as a tail extended. _That's right…Gaara's not the only one who can summon a tail bitches._ I grinned at all the shocked gasps that filtered down to me from the stands. The tip of the tail was the really interesting part; it ended in a long slender four sided diamond spearhead. My cat had a dragon's tail.

 _Alright, time to take out Black Ant. Sorry Kankuro, you're going to have some major repairs to keep you busy for a while._

Kitty laughed.

The sensation of my new appendage was always a little strange, but I had practiced enough that I could control it relatively well right out of the gate. Kitty assisted a little in fine tuning the movements as I directed it in a graceful arch, putting some wind chakra behind it. The deadly spear tip hit the Black Ant and I sent a burst of wind spiraling down the length of my tail to scatter the remains, with devastating results for the puppet.

One down, two to go. I hadn't even looked behind me while I eliminated his puppet, so I was easily able to see Kankuro's shock written all over his face. And he wasn't the only one; I could still hear all sorts of sounds coming from the audience.

Next up was Crow, and he was also quickly eliminated, scattered to the winds literally. Kankuro didn't even bother bringing out Salamander. "Alright! I have enough repairs to make! You won this match!" He exclaimed, already starting to hunt down all the little pieces of his puppets.

I nodded and everyone applauded. I glanced up at Gaara, and noted the proud gleam in his eyes, along with a good dose of amusement. He was enjoying seeing me prove myself to everyone.

Temari was my next opponent. She sauntered onto the field, confidant as always. "Alright Ren! Let's see what you got!"

"Challenge accepted!"

She whipped out her fan with a ringing snap, opening it completely right off the bat, and sent her Cutting Winds Jutsu at me.

I snapped my hands together, immediately doing the hand signs for my Dancing Winds Shield Jutsu, abruptly slamming out rotating bands of chakra laced wind around my body, manipulating them in the same way the Hyuga Clan did with their Eight Trigrams, 64 Palms. My palms moved in a blur as I controlled all the wind blades roping around me, rotating them at high velocity to disperse her broad attack.

All it came down to was technique with a battle between two wind users. Temari typically used broad strokes as her weapons, and I used sharper cuts.

She slung her fan out in front of her and jumped on it, gliding up to get a shot at me from above. My tail twitched on the ground, like a cat's, as I waited. I crouched, and then built up wind beneath me, judging just the right time, and then leaping into the air, I soared above her. Once in position, I flipped, and brought my heel down on her head, expecting the gust of wind as her shield.

I twisted my hips, digging my toes deep into her wind and locking myself in place with little wind roots of my own, as I twisted, sending my tail out and around her waist. I arched my upper body downward, and then flipped Temari over my head with my legs and tail. She hit the ground hard, her fan landing beside her with a thud.

She coughed and got back to her feet as I landed on my hands and sprung off to my feet, skipping a few steps backwards as I got my balance. Kitty used our tail to balance us. Temari stood, a little out of breath, a little bruised, and a little pissed, and I knew she was going to up her game. I grinned, bearing my teeth. She did the same, just as feral.

 _ **I like her.  
**_

 _So do I. She's awesome._

She reopened her fan, spreading it in front of her as she bit her thumb. _Oh boy_. "Wind Scythe Jutsu!" She yelled, and that pirate weasel popped out of thin air, rocketing towards me on a wind typhoon of sharp blades.

I stretched out my arms, sending out my chakra in a thick wave. I could feel the air all around me, felt all the atoms in the air shift as they were attracted to my chakra. I charged the air, building up pressure fast. The sound of air hissing to me echoed through the training grounds, and I drew my arms up, directing it up and into the sky, creating a center of air pressure right above my head. I could feel the air crackling, and tasted ozone as it ionized around me.

Temari's Wind Scythe Jutsu headed right for me, hitting the currents of air that were being sucked into me. It got caught up in it and sailed right up and over my head, directed into that air pressure ball just like all the other wind in the vicinity. The weasel disappeared in a poof, unable to handle it and escaping quickly. My breathing became labored as the oxygen became scarce underneath the wave of air.

As soon as the Wind Scythe slid up into the crackling funnel of air over my head, I gripped it firmly, knowing I was holding the tail of a dragon. The huge pressure funnel roared, a humongous tornado touching down on top of me, and I knew it could easily take out the entire stadium, so I let it go, mostly. This was my new Dragon Gale Jutsu, and as the funnel solidified, it took the form of a huge dragon, the massive jaws opening wide as it roared to the heavens. As I carefully released the dragon, I grabbed onto the tail, curling it around me as the immense pressure released, making a sound like a crack of thunder as the wings opened, some of the air pressure releasing high in the sky. It hung there for a second and then turned and dive-bombed, the wings streaking back into the body as it crackled. All the wind I had called was expelled in a single breath, creating a huge downwards force as the weight of all that air came crashing back down, the dragon hitting the ground with a thunderous boom and exploding into an immense force. I made sure to control it to the best of my ability, letting the energy and chakra and wind leak out of it quickly to severely lessen the blow, so as to not actually injure anyone or destroy the field.

Since I had drawn it up into a center point above my head, I was the center point of a circle of destruction, the force radiating out from me and weakening the further it got from my body. I used the small amount that I had reined in as a shield to protect me from it. The radius was relatively small, but immensely powerful, even though I had weakened it considerably. That force slammed down onto Temari, who was still within good range and flattened her to the ground, pinning her with enough force that she couldn't move. The ground directly around me cracked. Everyone around the stadium groaned as they all experienced the downwards push, not actually being forced to the ground like Temari, but it probably didn't feel very good either.

It didn't last long, the pressure relenting after a minute as I quickly dispersed the air upwards again. Temari groaned. I knew she wasn't seriously injured, but that had probably left a few really good bruises. She stood, slowly, wincing. "Damn Ren, that one kinda smarted. I think I'm good, I'll kick your ass some other time."

I nodded. I knew I hadn't really beaten her, so much as made it unpleasant enough that she didn't want to continue. In a real fight I knew she would have caused me a lot more damage.

She walked off the field, and I knew the twins were up next. They were Genjutsu users, but I knew they didn't have a chance against me. Because I had a secret weapon against Genjutsu now. As the world warped, bright lights flickering around me in all kinds of crazy colors, I knew they had already begun, even before coming onto the field. That was their style, Kaoru pulling a confusing Genjutsu on the enemy, and since I was the enemy right now, Hikaru would be coming in for a ' _killing blow_.'

Not a chance. Kitty quickly knocked me out of it with a sharp sting from her chakra, making the illusion disappear right in time for me to meet Hikaru's fist with my forearm, twisting to the side to grab his wrist and yank. I followed with a palm to the back of his head, shoving him to the ground.

But they were a pretty tight team, and before I could pin Hikaru, Kaoru sent a volley of Shurikens to distract me.

I avoided them and Hikaru jumped away. They put me in another Genjutsu, this one making me collapse in a laughing fit, incapacitating me. Again, Kitty snapped me out of it quickly enough that I was able to roll out of the way of Hikaru who was about to tackle me. I slid back along the ground on hands and feet, kicking up dust and dirt.

On all fours now, my tail whipped over my back, clubbing Hikaru hard enough to send him toppling head over heels across the dirt. I really didn't want to do this, but to take them out, I was going to have to play rough.

And I knew them well enough to know not to let Hikaru get out his weapon, because then I would be in trouble. I darted forward with a Telaria Jutsu, swiping his metal sticks before he could engage them, and then whirled around to conk him upside the head with the sturdy metal. That had to hurt and I winced as he flew back and landed on the ground, grimacing and cradling the side of his face.

Kaoru appeared behind him, and then they both disappeared. I waited, knowing Kaoru would be tending to Hikaru's wounds and then he would try to sneak up on me. I sent out a fine network of sensory chakra, determining their positions easily enough and waiting until Hikaru had healed. I had hit him pretty hard.

As soon as he started coming up behind me I swung out my tail, whipping his legs out from under him and then I spun around, low to the ground as Kaoru send a few arrows whistling over my head. He had gotten serious now if he was using his bow, but he wasn't using any of his special archery jutsus, so that was good. I put up my shield and pinned Hikaru to the ground solidly with a knee.

"All right! All right!" Hikaru yelped as I went in for an ear pinch. "I yield!"

"Good." I got off him, offering him back his weapon and giving him a hand up. "These things didn't like me very much. I could hear them hissing at me." I said amused as I handed him back his beating sticks. He just grinned.

They walked off the field. To my shock, Gaara was my last opponent, sending a ripple of murmurs through the audience. No one had expected the Kazekage himself to be my last opponent.

I blinked at him, and then grinned. This was perfect. I hadn't gotten to spar with Gaara in several weeks now, so I had missed this. I knew this was going to be a much more serious battle than our usual spars, but I was still looked forward to it.

He had taken off his robes and was now in the long red leather coat, belts around his waist and various leather straps crossing across his chest to hold on his gourd. It was a really good look for him, very bad-ass, and also kind of regal at the same time.

He was really going to put me through my paces, I could already tell from the stern glare he was giving me. Even so, I could see a glimmer of excitement in those intense eyes of his, and I knew he was looking forward to this as much as I was. I grinned at him and bowed. "Lord Kazekage…"

He cocked a non-brow. "I will be the last challenge in your assessment."

"Very well then…bring it on." There were some shocked murmurs that I had addressed the Kazekage in such a manner.

He did as I asked, and brought it, big time. He slid into his battle stance and sand poured out of his gourd, immediately coming at me from all directions. I easily fended it off with my Dancing Wind Shield, rotating the bands of air around me to block all the attacks.

And then a curtain of sand rose over me, creating a dome around me and slowly constricted. The wind wasn't quite enough, and I knew what he wanted me to do. I heard him muffled, probably calling out his Sand Coffin Jutsu, and I knew I only had a few seconds before his sand really did do some damage, although he could probably call it off at the last millisecond.

 _Kitty!_

 _ **I know…**_

A surge of her chakra lit my chakra network on fire, the transfusion always painful. I groaned, gritting my teeth, and then screamed as the spikes down my back crackled with lightning, the lightning chakra skittering down my spine, jumping from tip to tip and then down the tail, landing in the spearhead. The spearhead opened along its four sides into a four pointed star as a ball of lighting coalesced in the center, radiating sparks and growing larger by the second. The sparks shot out in every direction, landing in the sand and neutralizing it. The lightning broke through the barrier, shattering the sand dome that was about to crush me and making it burst open.

I stood, with my tail lazily tracing lighting across the ground as it waved back and forth gently, I grinned at Gaara, who smirked ever so slightly back in return. He sent a stream of sand to attack, and my tail arched over my back, coming to rest on my shoulder, the electrified tip pointing at Gaara now. I reached up to grab right in front of the opened diamond spearhead, my hand and arm assisting in aiming, my tail muscles not really super great when it came to the fine details.

I sent a bolt of lightning at the oncoming sand, dead-ending it mid-air. Every bolt of lightning came with a consequence though, as that shocking electric pain zipped down my spine. It didn't hurt enormously, the lightning mostly jumping from point to point on the spines on my back, but it still had a bit of a bite to it.

I neutralized his sand as it came at me, but it was taxing and I was getting close to my limit. I had already expended most of my chakra on the previous battles, so I wasn't able to keep up with him as I normally would. He really put me through my paces though, creating volleys of sand shuriken and waves of sand attacks. Eventually though he halted it, and I sighed with relief, my tail dropping down to the dirt with a thud.

"You pass the test. Congratulations." He said, and walked over to me.

"Thanks." I wheezed.

He stopped a few feet from me. "You can put out that lightning now."

"Huh? Oh right." I glanced back at my still crackling tail as it hung limply in the dirt, sending off random sparks in every direction, like a crazy blue sparkler.

 _ **Okay. I'll go slow.**_

 _Thanks._

Kitty slowly withdrew her chakra from my network and I winced, my own chakra becoming unstable and making me woozy for a moment as it regained its balance. It took a minute but the tip of my tail finally sputtered and went out, the four sides closing up. And then I winced as it retracted, the feeling kind of like something was being shoved up into my spine. The spines went back in, leaving holes in my shirt, and I flinched lightly and then groaned in satisfaction as they all popped back into place. I didn't exactly know what happened, but it felt like somehow Kitty borrowed a few pieces of my spine and then lengthened them and sharpened them to create the spines. So going back in it was a little painful, but then there was a release of pressure with the little clicks, just like when I popped my stiff back sometimes. The tail was less pleasant.

Eventually I was back to normal and tailless and I wobbled just a tad, having used a whole lot of chakra. I saw the way Gaara tensed and he looked like he wanted to catch me, but I knew that would be improper, so I stiffened my legs and regained my balance.

"So I'm done now?" I asked weakly, wanting nothing more than to go home and rest.

"Not quite." Gaara turned and motioned someone over. He took something out of their hand and then turned back to me. "This is yours now." He handed me the patch for Chunin.

"Wait what?"

"As I said, this assessment also functioned as a Chunin exam, since you were on probation during the last set. You are now Chunin."

"Wow." I took the patch and stared at it with some amazement.

After that I was finally allowed to leave, which I did with great enthusiasm, really wanting to take a shower and rest for a bit.

 **Chapter 33**

After the assessment, I went home, took a shower, rubbed some cream onto the row of small wounds left from my spines and tail emerging, to help them heal faster, rested for a bit, and then packed up all my stuff and moved back into my apartment with the help of Temari and Kankuro, who both insisted that I could stay with them longer. I thanked them, but as much as I enjoyed the time I spent living with them, I was ready to have my own space again.

It was done quickly, since I didn't have that many things, and then I was left to clean out all the cobwebs that had accumulated during my absence. The twins visited briefly, and I gave them a hug and apologized for smacking them around, and then shooed them off, telling them I had to clean. I put away all my stuff, dusted, opened the windows, and then approached the fridge with some trepidation.

I quickly found myself busy doing an Inquisition on the fridge, a clothespin firmly clipped to my nose as I visually inspected the contents, throwing everything that had once been food into the garbage bin. It was my fault for not having emptied my fridge before moving over to Gaara's house, but I hadn't expected to be there for so long.

It was in the midst of this stench that there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" I gasped nasally, my upper body inside the fridge as I stretched my arm to try and retrieve a to-go container that had somehow wedged itself into the furthest possible recesses of the chilly appliance.

I faintly heard the door open and shut, and then a strange choking sound as the smell got to whoever was unlucky enough to come at this moment in time. "What…is that?"

I jumped, banging my head on the shelf above me at the gravelly notes of Gaara's voice, overexcited to hear him and reacting accordingly. I yelped at the impact and carefully withdrew. "Gaara! What brings you to stink-land my dear?" I jokingly called out to him as I fully removed myself from the fridge, closing it firmly behind me.

I turned to see him at the entrance to my kitchen, his nose clamped firmly in between his fingers and his face doing its best to stay in a mask. But he was definitely exhibiting some scrunchiness around the nose region. "What exactly are you doing?" He inquired disgustedly.

I blinked innocently. "Oh, just exorcising my fridge. I forgot to empty it before I moved out and some of the food acquired demonic essences."

He snorted, which sounded incredibly amusing coming through his clamped fingers. "I see." He looked me over and asked, "Doesn't that clothespin hurt your nose?"

"Um a little…" I flinched. Yes, it hurt. Quite a lot actually. But the smell was worse.

He nodded and glared at the fridge, as if he were offended that it had dared to hurt me. I jumped at the distinctive pop that signaled he had released his sand, and then stared wide-eyed as streams of sand opened the fridge and proceeded to pull out every bit of food from inside, leaving the few items that were still good, but otherwise scouring it clean within minutes.

"Wow…thanks." I uttered, completely shocked and absolutely delighted. The sand finished by tying up the garbage bag, lifting it up, and tossing it out the front door, which was then shut with a snap as if to say ' _good fucking riddance to you._ '

I unclenched the clothespin turned nosepin from my throbbing nostrils, wincing and whimpering a little when the blood rushed back in with an incredibly unpleasant sensation. I cringed again when I took in the lingering scent. "Hold on one moment…" I jogged around re-opening all the windows, which I had closed once I had finished dusting, and then sent a little tornado through the apartment, blowing out all the remaining stench.

I sighed, relieved.

There was a moment's pause as Gaara looked around my old living space. "How does it feel to be back in your apartment?"

I thought about that for a moment. "Well, it's nice. I mean I really enjoyed living with you…and Temari and Kankuro of course, but it's kind of nice to be back in my own space." I shrugged. But I already did miss the feeling of living with someone, having someone to welcome you home and stuff.

There was an awkward pause as we looked at each other. I knew what I wanted to do. After not having seen him for several weeks, aside from the assessment, I really wanted to reach out and touch him, hug him, run my fingers through that fantastic red hair of his…but I felt ridiculously shy.

After a minute or two, Gaara cleared his throat. "Since you have nothing edible at the moment, would you like to go get something to eat?" He asked, his voice a little rough around the edges as if he was also a little tense.

I blinked, and then smirked. "Are you asking me on a date?" I teased, not really expecting any sort of answer.

His face remained the same stoic mask, although I think it might have tinted just a little towards pink, but I couldn't be sure. "Yes." He answered matter-of-factly in that strange way of his.

It was my turn to flush, as I floundered for a moment. I certainly hadn't expected for him to say that, and I was left fishing for words as I wordlessly mouthed for a few seconds, optimistically hoping that speech might just randomly pop out of my throat. "Oh, uh, wow. Okay. Cool. Shit, I'm rambling." I started humming awkwardly as I broke eye contact and zipped my eyes around the room, looking for something to relieve the embarrassment.

At the sound of his low chuckle my eyes returned to his and I scowled playfully, pointing my finger at him. "Hey! You're just as awkward as I am, Mister."

He slowly blinked and cocked his head slightly to the side. "I suppose, but not in such a fascinating way as you."

I snorted. "You have this weird way with words Gaara. When you actually choose to use them of course." And then I sighed, flopping on the couch. "Wow. What are we doing here? Neither one of us has a clue how to go about doing this kind of stuff. I mean we're both kind of antisocial by nature."

He chuckled again, that deep rumble tightening my stomach in all kinds of strange ways that I still wasn't quite ready to think about just yet. He slowly walked over and sat beside me on the couch. I flopped my head back onto the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling, as if there might be an instructional guide written up there.

"If we're both antisocial, then doesn't that make us perfect for each other?" Gaara inquired from my right.

I twitched, not expecting that, and then rolled my head to the side to look curiously at my best friend, who was now more than a friend. "I mean I don't mind socializing with you. It's just everyone else that I tend to have issues with." I paused, thinking for a moment. "Well. That's not entirely true. I like hanging out with your siblings, and the twins. But that's about it. And even with them I sometimes feel a little…off." I shrugged, not really knowing how to explain it better.

"I understand the feeling. Maybe it's because we are so similar that it doesn't feel so strange to be around you." He responded.

Once again, I was surprised. I didn't think I'd ever heard him be quite this talkative before. I lifted my head and turned towards him, leaning an elbow on the back of the couch. "So did you take a talking pill or something?" I asked, squinting.

The corner of his mouth curled up. "I don't think that exists, Ren."

I snorted. "Really? Are you sure? Because you're awfully outspoken tonight. For you at least. Downright demure for everyone else."

"Demure?" He questioned, his voice lowering a little.

"Yeah, you know…shy, sedate, polite, bashful." I teased.

He frowned, his eyes glittering in a playful glare. "I don't really think that applies to me." He growled, his upper body leaning towards me a little, almost threateningly.

I laughed. "Oh, absolutely! You're such a delicate little flower Gaara. I don't know how anyone ever notices you, what with that shrinking violet personality of yours." I teased, completely sarcastic. There was no way any of that applied to him. He was the kind of person you immediately noticed, the power always radiating off of him in waves. And even if he didn't necessarily say anything, you always knew when he wanted something.

Even so, his non-brows slammed down hard over his eyes and a growl rumbled out of his chest warningly. "A flower? Really Ren?"

I had a brief warning before he lunged, his hand grabbing my ankle where it was dangling off the couch, my knee laying bent on the couch to allow me to turn towards him more comfortably. I yelped, scrambling back, laughing, as I grabbed the arm of the couch to keep myself there when he yanked on my ankle.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! You're not a flower!" I laughed, howling as I tried to keep myself on my side while he kept up the pressure, slowly inching me closer to him.

"And how about delicate? Do I seem particularly delicate to you?" He rumbled, giving a really good hard yank and successfully detaching me from the arm of the couch, dragging me over, close enough that he could grab my wrist with his other hand. He yanked the ankle still in his grasp again so that my leg stretched out behind him, then let go for just a brief second, his hand sliding up so he could pin my knee, which was next to his hip now, to the couch with an iron fist.

He twisted his torso and pinned my wrist above my head, leaning down over me, which forced me to put my knee up between us to prevent him from getting too close. I mean yeah, we had already kissed once, but right now he was a little too dangerous to be letting get that close. For all I knew, he could bite me or something with his currant attitude.

"Nope! Not delicate at ALL!" I yelped, still laughing.

He smirked down at me. "Are you sure? Because we could discuss this further." He taunted.

I gaped at him, never really having known him to be such a … well, I didn't really know what he was at the moment, but it was different than usual. I supposed this was his version of play. I chuckled. "No, no. That's okay, you made your point."

He grinned at me and then released both my knee and wrist, sitting back upright with my leg still behind him. I simply lay there for a moment, catching my breath from the laughter and the shock of seeing him actually grin. The expression was so foreign on his face, and yet it had been so fantastically beautiful that it left me stunned for a moment. Even if it was just a smirk at my expense.

I chuckled and then sighed. "Sorry for breaking the serious conversation with my nonsense."

He _'hm'_ ed.

"Back to not talking?"

"No."

"I see. So did you actually mean it when you said you wanted to go on a date?" I inquired, blushing a little and surprised that I actually managed to get it out relatively nonchalantly. I felt him turn toward me, but stayed lying flat on my back and looking up at the ceiling.

"Yes."

My mind was whirling. I didn't really know what we were doing anymore, I was so out of my depth. I knew what dating was, I knew what a relationship was, but I didn't know how to do it myself. I had been in love with him for so long that this was simply all a little crazy and overwhelming.

"Okay. So, where do you want to go?"

I glanced down at him. He quirked his lips a little when I met his gaze. "Out. To eat."

I tsked, snorting. "I gathered that."

And then my thoughts were interrupted by a certain, very horny cat in my head. _**What the FUCK are you doing you little dumbass? Here he is, in your space, practically between your legs already, AND YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING AT ALL!**_

I yelped, grabbing my head at the abrupt mental lecture. _Stop it right now you stupid cat! Can't you see I'm busy? And STOP SHOUTING!_

Gaara twitched, leaning his head over me a little to get a good look at my face, obviously concerned.

 _ **KISS HIM! GRAB HIM! LICK HIM! DO FUCKING SOMETHING BEFORE WE BOTH LOSE OUR GODDAM MINDS!**_

I winced again, the yelling giving me an intense headache. "Would you stop shouting! Dammit cat, your giving me a headache!"I wasn't even really aware of speaking my thoughts out loud at this point.

Gaara's non-brows quirked. "Is she giving you trouble again?"

"Yes. She's being such a…"

 _ **FUCK HIM!**_

"No! I am not doing any such thing!"Again I didn't realize I was talking out loud.

 _ **And why not?**_

"Because I'm not ready yet!"

 _ **Why not?!**_

"We've only kissed once! You really think that's appropriate?"

 _ **Anything involving his dick is appropriate.**_

"You are such a slut."

 _ **HEY! I just want to fuck him. I am not a slut.**_

"Isn't that the definition of a slut? Wanting to have sex all the time?"

 _ **NO! I don't want fuck everyone, just him!**_

"And why is that?"

 _ **Because he's the only one YOU want to fuck, and we're sharing a body remember? Our emotions are also a little tangled up you know.**_

I groaned. That made sense I supposed, but really this conversation was getting so old.

"What exactly are you two discussing?" I jerked, realizing that Gaara was hovering over me curiously, watching my face with a keen interest. _Oh shit. Have I been talking out loud?_

 _ **Yes.**_

"Damn. I was talking out loud wasn't I?"

"Yes." Gaara confirmed.

"Oh … shit." I stared at him wide-eyed, feeling a little dizzy by this turn of events. I really didn't want to talk about this at the moment. "Um…we were…ehm…yeah…"

"You were…?"

I heaved a sigh and put my hands over my face. "Look. She's just being…a little overeager. I have to explain to her why…certain things….don't happen right away."

"Interesting. So she wants to have sex right away?"

I yelped, flinched, and my hands came off my face immediately so I could stare at Gaara with the most shock I think I had ever felt in my entire life. I could also feel an extremely intense blush radiating heat from my face, neck, and even my chest. "Gaara! Really?! Did you just have to go and say it like that?!" I squeaked, my voice about two octaves higher than usual.

He blinked. "Why not?"

I sighed, groaning and doing a face palm. "Oh never mind. Between the two of you I'm going to go insane."

"Technically it's three."

"Hm?"

"You forgot Shukaku."

"Oh right. But he's not driving me nuts at the moment." I pointed out.

"True."

When I saw a flash of black in his eyes I hurried to add, "That's not an invitation!"

Gaara snorted and leaned back.

I sighed. "Anyway."

After a long moment Gaara got up off the couch and moved towards the door, looking back to say, "Would you like to go out to eat now?"

Actually, I was rather hungry now that the stench had left and my stomach had had a chance to reinvigorate itself. "Sure. Let's do this date thing."

We went out to eat at a relatively nice sit down restaurant, and actually it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. We visited about nonsense, and it was all very relaxed. It wasn't until we left that I started to get nervous again. It was evening when we went to get something to eat, so by the time we left it had gotten dark outside.

As we walked back to my apartment I started to feel a little tense. I couldn't really help it, it reminded me of the time he had walked me home after that movie and had almost kissed me. I didn't know what was going to happen this time, and I didn't even really know what exactly it was that I _wanted_ to happen.

On the one hand, I really wanted to kiss him again, very, very badly actually. That was part of the reason my stomach was so tense, sort of a strange anxious excitement running through my body. On the other hand, I was nervous. We had only kissed once, and that was a while ago.

I glanced over to him, taking in the profile I knew so well from my peripheral vision, the red hair darker crimson in the light of the stars. _Damn it. Why do I love him so much?_ It felt like my chest physically ached with happiness as I walked beside him, knowing that he also felt something towards me, romantically speaking. I glanced down at his hand, wondering if it would be wrong of me to take his hand in mine. _Holding hands is something that happens on dates right?_ I bit my lip, unsure. My confidence on the battlefield was sadly lacking in this new area of my life and I was left feeling shy, which was kind of an annoying feeling.

Chewing on the lip still between my teeth, I decided to test the waters, wanting to touch him but not wanting to freak him out. Of course this was Gaara, and normally I didn't have any problem smacking him or elbowing him or anything like that, but this was different. I inhaled and held the breath in my chest, my heart hammering in my ears as I walked just a smidge closer to him, waiting to see if he would move away.

I did it stealthily and slowly, and I wasn't even sure that he noticed me walking a little closer to him. I carefully breathed out the breath I was holding before taking another to hold. We were close enough now that it was a simple matter for me to very lightly brush his pinky with mine, just to see how he would react, hoping he wouldn't jump away or something like that.

I felt, and saw him twitch out of the corner of my eye, and then he glanced down to the side, looking at his hand. I tried to keep my face blank when he looked up to my face, but I was sure that my cheeks were pink, giving me away. He looked back down and I very faintly heard him swallow. I carefully exhaled again, noting that my chest was burning from holding my breath for too long.

Then my breath came back in on a gentle gasp when I felt the backs of Gaara's fingers lightly caress my own. Now it was my turn, and I glanced down towards our hands, noting that the position of his hand had changed. It was tilted slightly in my direction which, should I choose, would be just the right angle for me to then slide my hand into his.

My heart fluttered, recognizing the unspoken invitation for what it was. _This is ridiculous, why am I so nervous?_ I sucked in my breath and very gently slipped my hand into his, facing forward and blushing madly. His hand was very warm, hot almost and I felt the muscles flinch just a tad when I first made contact. I heard his very soft gasp beside me, and knew that he almost hadn't expected me to take him up on his offer.

His fingers delicately sought out the spaces between my own and then very gently laced his fingers through mine, holding my hand carefully, almost reverently.

My fingers trembled ever so slightly in his and I felt an answering tremor in his hand. After a moment I sighed, my hand relaxing into his and I gently squeezed his hand. I tilted my face slightly towards him and he did the same, our gazes meeting tentatively. I smiled a little timidly, still blushing, and I saw a curve of his lips answer me.

We held hands the rest of the way to my apartment, and by the time we got there it felt as if my heart would burst from how full it felt. I was beyond happy, beyond warm, beyond in love, and it was beyond wonderful. When we reached my door I hesitated, not really sure what to do now. Turning to face him, our hands still linked, I asked, "Do you have time to come in?"

He blinked and then sighed. "No. Unfortunately I must get back to work." He glanced towards the Kazekage's tower with his lips thinly pressed as if in aggravation.

"I understand. I hope it won't be weeks before I see you again this time though." I said hopefully, really not looking forward to another couple of weeks without Gaara again.

He turned back to look at me and his eyes softened. "Me too. I'm sorry."

My lips quirked up into a smile, and then I glanced down, feeling a little sad at having to say goodbye after having had such a good time with him. I looked at our entwined fingers and sighed, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze with my own before letting go.

"Well, I guess I'd better let you go then…" I whispered.

"Not quite yet…" He responded, his voice as low and hushed as mine was. One of his hands came up to lightly touch my cheek, and I gasped, my head rising to look questioningly into his pale eyes.

His gaze held mine, the pale green glowing in the dim light of my porch. His fingers lightly stroked my cheek and then his palm rested there to cup my face, his thumb resting in front of my ear while the tips of his fingers lightly grazed my neck. My breath caught, as his gaze left my eyes to travel down and fixed on my lips. The attention made me unconsciously lick them nervously and then they parted on a gasp as he dipped his head towards mine.

My eyes were open this time and I watched his face get abruptly closer to mine, so close that it almost felt like I had to cross my eyes to focus. And they were wide open and glazed slightly with shock as his mouth touched mine. They immediately fluttered closed though as Gaara's lips molded to mine.

I had almost forgotten how strange and wonderful it felt to kiss him, how much softer his lips were against mine than I would have expected. His mouth felt so warm, just like the rest of him, his body temperature always much higher than mine for some reason. I inhaled through my nose, intoxicated by his spicy scent so close to me, his lips pressing against mine.

We were both still a little awkward, so inexperienced that it took us a second to remember what to do, or at least to remember what we had figured out last time. His lips pressed to mine and then briefly retreated, returning immediately to press again. I remembered how my lips had moved last time, feeling as though I was whispering something against his, and so as his lips pressed against mine I lightly pressed back.

Tentatively I rested my hands on his chest. He paused for a second, probably wondering if I was going to push him away I realized fuzzily, so I pressed a little closer, parting my lips just a bit, to more closely mold to his. I felt and heard him inhale sharply and then his lips parted against mine, the kiss becoming more moist as the slight dampness from the inner parts of our lips came into contact.

My hands slid up his chest, almost without my knowledge, and yet I liked the feel of his smooth leather coat and firm chest behind it rubbing against my palms, the ridges of his belts and buckles scraping gently against my fingers. My hands perched on his shoulders, gripping there to lift myself up onto my toes a little as I pressed my face closer to his.

His arm slid around my waist, firm and strong, his hand gentle as it flattened against my lower back. His lips parted from mine for a second and we both gasped in a breath of air, not having mastered breathing and kissing at the same time yet. My eyes fluttered open lazily, my lids feeling heavy as I looked dazedly into Gaara's eyes, which were still so close that I could make out the pupils in his eyes. His eyes looked similarly glazed to the way mine felt. We maintained eye contact for a moment longer, a few more breaths before he groaned softly and pressed his lips against mine once more.

I hummed, my eyes rolling back into my head as my hands sliding to the back of his neck, my arms draping over his shoulders. He stepped into the small space I had left, pressing his body against mine for the first time outside of fighting, intimidation, or injury. I gasped, feeling the hard planes of his chest and stomach against my body, the buckles and belts not even bothering me, just being one more facet to the experience that made it distinctly _Gaara_.

Our lips parted even more against each other, the moist heat increasing as the saliva from inside our lips dampened the kiss. It almost felt humid, the few breaths I managed to sneak in tasting wet from Gaara's mouth. A small moan snuck out of my throat, and I gasped, once again embarrassed by making such an odd sound without consciously deciding to. And once again Gaara didn't let me pull away from the kiss, his hand on my cheek sliding into my hair to hold me to him.

I sucked in a breath through my teeth, the air feeling cold as it was brought over our lips, and then made another small sound when Gaara took my bottom lip in between his own, lightly sucking. He released it and then tilted his head to get a different angle, fitting our mouths more closely together, our lips continuing to part and close against each other. Our mouths caressed and massaged each other in such a strange and yet delightful way.

My fingers slid up into his hair and I hummed as the sensitive skin on my fingers caressed the silky texture of his crimson hair. I had always loved his hair, had always wanted to play with it, and doing so was amazing, almost intoxicating me with the softness my hands were suddenly submerged in. I couldn't resist stroking it, running it between my fingers, and then grabbing fistfuls, very gently tugging and pulling him closer to me, anchoring myself to him more firmly.

A very soft rumble issued from his chest and I could feel it vibrate against my chest, and even more amazingly I felt it vibrate on my lips. An answering hum came from my own chest, once again without any sort of warning or permission. A warm heat began to build inside me, my lower stomach tensing, and I could feel a flush working up my chest and neck, the warmth prickling my skin.

After a moment we parted on a gasp, both of us out of breath completely. My eyes met his for a moment, drinking in the liquid heat in the glowing jade depths before mine fluttered closed and I rested my forehead in the crook of his neck, panting.

We simply held each other for a few long minutes, Gaara's head lowering to press the side of his face against my hair. After panting for a bit I heaved a shuddering sigh, the tension easing from my limbs. That strange heat leaked away, replaced by a wonderful tender warmth, my heart squeezing behind my breasts as I nuzzle my face further into his neck. I inhaled deeply, absorbing that wonderful hot, spicy, desert scent that was so unique to Gaara, a pang shooting through my lower belly from the typical arousal that his scent incited in me. I tensed slightly, waiting for the muscles to stop fluttering, and then eased again, relaxing back against him as I used all my practice to ignore it in favor of focusing on the warm, fuzzy feelings that his scent also gave me.

After an indeterminable length of time he sighed and pulled away somewhat, and I knew he had to go. He was Kazekage after all, and had mountains of work to do.

 **Author's Note:**

Okay, so, another detailed kissing scene. You may think this is repetitive, but nevertheless, the first few kissing scenes are going to be very detailed. Think about it, when you first start making out, the first few times are pretty dang intense, and sometimes awkward, and there's a lot of learning and discovering to do. Once they get used to it, and start doing other stuff, the kissing won't be as detailed, because they won't be concentrating on it as much. ;)

Oh, and yes there will be lemons…and just as detailed as the kissing scenes. I want them to be detailed, and explicit, but still realistic. Perhaps a tad romanticized, but still awkward, and with character development, and tender moments, and embarrassment, and all that fun stuff. Anyways…something to look forward to. :3


	62. Burn With Me: Chapter 34

**Author's Note:**

 _There's gonna be lots of flashbacks in this chapter, it's sort of Gaara's take on everything that has happened in his and Ren's relationship so far, so hang in there with me for a while, I hope it's not too troublesome or repetitive. If it does get to be too repetitive you can always just skim or something. Alright! On with the show!_

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara pulled away gently from Ren's embrace, not wanting to, but knowing that he needed to get back to the huge pile of paperwork currently on his desk.

He stepped back a little, putting a tiny bit of space between their bodies, the sensation of her pressed right up against him making his thought processes all muddled and confusing. His hand slid out from her hair and he lightly caressed her cheek again, marveling at the soft texture as he gazed into her liquid amethyst eyes, her lashes fluttering a little at the soft touch of his fingertips. He could feel a gentle smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the sweet reaction to his touch. He would never tire of watching her respond to him in that way, the reminder that she enjoyed him touching her always making his heart squeeze in his chest.

He sighed. "I have to go."

Her eyes met his, and in them he could see the same regret and sadness that he felt upon leaving her. Neither one of them wanted to part, they both wanted to be around each other as much as possible. Unfortunately, the current situation demanded that he go one way and she another, but he resolved to somehow figure out how they could be together more often.

She smiled softly and said, "It's okay. I know you have to go."

He nodded and released her cheek, stepping away from her. His gaze lingered for a moment. "Good night Ren." He whispered and she smiled. Responding in kind, he turned, transporting himself in a swirl of sand to the Kazekage tower.

Once in the tower, in his office, sitting at his desk, faced with heaps of paperwork, he found himself unable to concentrate. His unruly mind refused to pay attention to the work at hand, and insisted on thinking about Ren instead, thinking back over the past few months, and even the past year or so.

He found himself thinking back to that strange time when Temari had set them up to watch such an odd movie together, and the first time he had tried to kiss her.

 _*flashback*_

When they had reached her door, under the subtle moonlight, as he looked down at her to say goodnight, his eyes were inexplicably drawn to her lips, noting how soft they looked. He had been drawn to them suddenly. As images flashed behind his eyes, remembering the movie they had seen, he had abruptly realized that he seemed to be leaning in to her slowly, as if he felt magnetized.

It was as if he didn't have control of his body, her lips were suddenly so hypnotizing and all he wanted was to know how they would feel against his own. It felt as if he were burning, the thought of touching his lips to hers so intoxicating that it was nearly unbearable.

 _*end flashback*_

Gaara sighed, stuck between being irritated at himself for jumping the gun on that one, pushing her before she was ready, and a near smugness that now he could kiss her without her freaking out. He couldn't stop the slight smirk that crept up on his lips, thinking about how he had just come from kissing her senseless. Well to be honest, they had kissed each other senseless, considering just how dizzy he had been when he had finally managed to tear himself away from her lips.

Of course that hadn't been the reaction he had had when had had almost kissed her the first time. He had been too busy freaking out about Shukaku waking up and feeling frisky. He still felt him stirring when around Ren, even earlier today Gaara had felt him wake up when his name was mentioned. Shukaku had grumbled and gone back to sleep when Ren told him that he wasn't invited, making Gaara snort in amusement.

 _ **Yeah sure pup, just wait…one of these days I'm gonna get a crack at her hot ass.**_

Gaara rolled his eyes at the insert. Shukaku was always so crude.

He tried to concentrate on what he should be doing, but still had no luck, his mind going back to the time after his botched kiss attempt.

 _*flashback*_

At first he had been scared, terrified really, of both the fact that Shukaku had seemed to wake up when he leant in and terrified of the strength of his own emotion and urges.

After he had gotten over the freak-out over Shukaku's interruption, he had noticed the way Ren was avoiding him, and it pissed him off. He had finally gotten himself under control and had sought her out, wanting to make sure that he could control Shukaku around her, needing the reassurance that he wasn't simply slipping up on his iron control.

But the more he sought her out, the more she obviously avoided him, even doing immediate about-faces when she saw him and going in the opposite direction. It actually hurt, his chest squeezing at the abandonment of his friend, and who, he had started to realize he felt more for than just a friend. Gaara still hadn't had enough control over himself at that point in his life to prevent himself from seeking her out even more. He was a very specific kind of animal; his base nature was to pursue his own goals, doing whatever it took to achieve them.

And so he had single-mindedly sought her out. And when she continued to avoid him he got pissed off.

He had known she was just scared, unsure and afraid, similar to what he had felt, but he still couldn't help it. His emotions simply got away from his iron control, and he found himself stalking her, falling back into his predatory instincts of seeking from the shadows, hunting his prey. There was something about Ren, there always had been, that seemed to drive him up the wall. From the very beginning she had made him lose control of his emotions. He had felt Shukaku very close to the surface during that time, his beast inside of him offended that she was avoiding them.

It hadn't been his best moment.

And then he had gone so far as to actually break into her apartment, to force her to tell him what the hell had happened to make her act so strangely. He knew he had been too aggressive, he knew he had pushed her boundaries, he had known all of that, and yet he had still done it. He hadn't been able to stop himself, too afraid, too hurt, to let her pull away from him. It had been at that point that he had realized that he needed her, and the threat of losing her had terrified him beyond measure.

He was glad that he had at least been able to remove himself from her apartment before he had done any permanent damage to their friendship. And at that point he had realized that she was indeed frightened of him, but more than that, he had realized that she had feelings for him. So he had decided to wait until she had calmed down before he did anything, like try to kiss her again, but he couldn't leave her alone, knowing that she was afraid of him.

So he had started to actively show up wherever he knew she was going to be. Going with her shopping, training with her, simply being with her, hoping that the amount of exposure would make her be comfortable with him again. And it had worked. Slowly she had stopped acting all skittish around him, growing more and more comfortable again, things going back to the way they were before.

It was sometimes during this time that he had realized that what he felt for her was growing into something he couldn't quite identify. He had definitely gone past feeling just friendship towards her. He still felt like she was his best friend, but also knew that she was so much more to him than that. He hadn't entirely been sure what it was that he was feeling, but he had known that it was special and something to be treasured.

 _*end flashback*_

Gaara snorted, sighing as he plopped the paperwork onto his desk and rubbed his eyes. He wasn't getting anything done. _Nothing. Zip. Zilch._ And it was all because he couldn't stop thinking about Ren. It had taken him a surprisingly long time to realize that he loved her, and now he couldn't imagine why it had taken him so long to figure it out. He already knew what love was, he had felt love for his siblings after all. But this was so different, this love was so much more intense, and it had thrown him for a loop.

He grumbled under his breath and actually managed to sign a few things before his mind drifted again, this time to something less pleasant. His mind randomly conjured up the memory of when Ren had been kidnapped, and Gaara shuddered. That whole episode had been exceedingly unpleasant, even more so since it was the second time she had been taken right out from under his nose.

 _*flashback*_

When Temari and Ren had been taken from their room Gaara, Kankuro, Hikaru, and Kaoru had all gone nuts. They had searched high and low, carefully following the tracks left by the kidnappers, but the kidnappers had been skilled and had done several backtracks to throw them off the trail.

He had been utterly terrified the entire time, searching for the two most important women in his life.

When they had finally found them in some hidden lair type of thing a few miles outside of the village, they had heard unearthly screams coming from the basement, which on the one hand had led them right to the girls, on the other hand had made them all feel like throwing up at the first sound. The screams cut off only seconds after they had arrived and Gaara and Kankuro traded terrified glances, the sound barely recognizable as Temari's. All they could do was hope she hadn't just died. They had immediately barged in without any sort of plan, simply desperate to find the girls and immediately met resistance in the form of some seriously tricked out ninja guards.

The guards had actually wielded some shields that neutralized chakra, and one ninja wielded lightning, both of which were bad for Gaara's sand attacks. As it turned out Hikaru and Kaoru became invaluable in confusing the opponents, using their Genjutsu to make them attack each other. The only problem was that their Genjutsu took some time to complete, and soon after the first screams stopped new screams started, and this time they could recognize Ren.

They had fought tooth and nail to get to the lower levels, only to run into some intensely mad scientist traps that had them dodging giant boulders, spiky pits, electrified water, and all sorts of other nonsense. They had heard Ren cut off before they could get to the basement, and they all shared a panicky look.

At that point, Gaara had reached his limit. "Stand back." He growled, and released all the sand from his gourd, even turning his gourd to sand. He simply began to grind the floor beneath them into dust, drilling a hole right down to the basement.

Shortly after the screams stopped, new noises started up. There were screams, but they were of a different quality, sounding more desperate, almost as if the body producing them was rebelling. They punched through the floor and suddenly those noises were much louder, and were discernable as not only screams but sobbing, choking, and every other sort of unpleasant painful sound capable with the human vocal cords.

They had run down a very long hall, barely pausing for Gaara's sand to quickly dispatch any ninja they came across, thankfully none with fancy equipment this time. At the end of the hall they could see a room, and what was in that room had made Gaara's blood run cold. Ren was chained to a table, thrashing, and making all those sounds that they had heard a floor above her. She had some sort of box held above her, with glowing light flowing down into her chest.

As they got closer, he had nearly tripped, his vision going blurry. He could smell Ren's blood so strongly it nearly felt like the scent had punched him in the nose.

He felt Shukaku wake up, the tawny head immediately reared and ready for action, and he could actually feel the sharp sensation of Shukaku's teeth bared in a snarl. They had all run forwards again, Gaara driven purely by instinct at that point. As they fought through the last few lines of resistance, Gaara's eyes had met Ren's where she lay on the table, her head having slumped to the side. Her eyes looked glassy and unseeing, but when he met her gaze he saw a spark of recognition within the dull purple and a small smile graced her lips.

And then all hell had broken loose. The bastard next to the table slammed his hands down onto her chest, having performed some sort of jutsu Gaara hadn't been able to make out, and Ren's eyes widened right before her head tipped back, her entire body arching as she screamed.

That scream wasn't something Gaara had ever heard come from a human throat, it was her voice, but there was something inside of it, something deeper, more animal, unreal, that had him skidding to a halt. There was pandemonium as everyone within the room broke ranks and started trying to get away. And Gaara didn't know if they were trying to get away from him and his comrades or from whatever was about to be unleashed in Ren. Gaara, Kankuro, and the twins darted into the chaos, the twins setting up a confusing barrier while Kankuro went for Temari, working on her chains while Gaara went for Ren.

When he had reached her she was limp, seemingly passed out, but thankfully still alive. Before he could get started on her chains though, she had jerked back awake and she was obviously no longer herself. Gaara backed away as soon as he saw her eyes, glowing inhumanly a bright unnatural blue, with red glowing pupils.

She had shrieked, the sound more animal than human this time and yanked on her chains, which creaked and groaned under the pressure. Long claws sprouted from the tips of her fingers and her teeth sharpened into fangs. A violent wind started up around her, whipping through the air and making it impossible for Gaara to use his sand properly.

She busted out of the chains and was off the table before he could process it. He had backed away, noting those wickedly sharp claws that looked to be partially made from wind. The first man who was unfortunate enough to be close to her was promptly shredded. Literally. The body collapsing to the floor in a good few pieces in a puddle of blood, more blood spraying through the air and little droplets caught up in the veritable cyclone that was around her, making the air red.

Kankuro thankfully got Temari off the table and hustled her off into the hall, safely away from Psycho Ren. The twins likewise had noticed the transformation and were staying out of her way, using their Genjutsu to make themselves invisible and tucking tightly into a corner.

The second man who was unfortunate enough to be close to her, she ripped her claws into his belly and Gaara was shocked by the viciousness with which she killed him, her sharpened teeth sinking into his neck and her head doing a universal predatorial jerk to tear out the throat of her prey, as he was completely disemboweled by her claws.

She had gone on a rampage, and anyone within her reach, which was pretty long with those claws of hers, was promptly killed, so much blood saturating the air that the wind covering her soaked up all the little droplets from the spray and slowly turned darker and darker red. Gradually, as the saturation increased, Gaara could faintly make out the shape of some huge feline type of creature, with a long serpentine tail that hovered over Ren, an aura of animal rage.

And then he had been even more shocked as she came out of her rage, at the sight of him, and her attitude completely changed, turning seductive in a way that had made his pants tighten, despite the circumstances. And then Ren had seemed to make a brief surfacing, only for the demon possessing her to snarl, "What the fuck is your problem? You want him! Why are you fighting me?"

Of course then Gaara had had to process what she said and couldn't help but wonder if it meant what he thought it did. And then it had happened again, Ren fighting back against the creature, and she had once again snarled, "You _**want**_ him. Just give in!" and that time there was no mistake. The way she had said _**want**_ left no doubt in his head that she meant sex, the suggestive purr making that very clear, and he had felt as if he were punched in the gut, his eyes flying open wide in shock. Then his eyes had narrowed as he absorbed that information, heat uncurling within his gut as he thought about it.

And then all hell had broken loose, and Ren had gone nuts. Eventually ending up on the ground, her body arching and contorting across the ground, trying to fight whatever was now in her head. At that point, Gaara had moved on instinct, seeing that Ren was thrashing so violently she might actually seriously hurt herself. He quickly strode over to her and threw a leg over her writhing body, straddling her, and then let his legs fold, slamming his entire body weight down on her hips and thighs, forcing her to the ground.

She had only momentarily paused, but then went right back into the chaotic fit, nearly bucking him off and forcing him to tighten his knees on her sides. He had intentionally ignored the shocked gazes of the other four in the room. He knew they hadn't expected him to mount her like this, and frankly he had been a little surprised himself, but at the time, it was the only option as far as he could see.

She had writhed beneath him, looking as if there was a mental struggle going on between Ren and whatever had possessed her. Gaara rode it out, observing the sealing jutsu on her chest. It looked kind of weak from what he could tell, and he would bet that whatever was inside her was wild and crazy because of it, and it was obviously causing her a lot of pain. That had become even more obvious as her nails clawed at her head, across her face, looking almost as if she was physically trying to claw out the pain from her head.

Gaara had been shocked by the violence with which she attacked herself and a jolt of fear went through him. He promptly grabbed her wrists and shoved them to the ground at her sides. He didn't like putting that much pressure on the skin that he could feel was raged and torn, the blood seeping in between his fingers, but he couldn't risk her tearing her own eyes out. It had seemed to only get worse from there, and Gaara had known that he had to do something, and fast, or something even worse would happen. At that point, he had been terrified that she might actually kill herself, or go insane.

He knew a sealing jutsu, one that he had absorbed from Shukaku. Those blue markings all over his sandy demon were all sealing marks, and he could use that knowledge now. Shukaku was awake and kicking, and surprisingly offered him knowledge and instructions wordlessly, simply transferring the jutsu into his own mind, to save Ren.

She arched under him again, and he had quickly replaced his hands on her wrists with sand tethering her to the ground as he pressed his palms forcefully against her chest, in the open space created by the tear in her bindings, shoving her back to the ground as he bulked up the sealing jutsu with the knowledge Shukaku had given him. His sealing jutsu had taken hold and locked down and into place, the unsteady jutsu stabilized with the new one. As the blue lines had crossed over that strange red circle sealing mark, she had screamed, the sound torn from her in agony, and he had felt his heart pierced through, as if with a hot poker, knowing that he was responsible for the torture causing that sound. He had been almost unable to finish the jutsu, knowing how painful they were, but had forced himself to finish, despite feeling as though he was going to throw up, because he had known that she would go insane and be consumed by the creature inside her if he didn't. All he could do, was try to get it done as fast and efficiently as possible.

The shock of it all had numbed him, his brain drawing a blank, and after making sure the jutsu had sealed properly he had gotten off her. And then he hadn't been sure what he was supposed to do, or how he could help her at that point.

 _*end flashback*_

Gaara sighed, his eyes re-reading the same sentence at least 6 times on some sort of document, which he was sure was incredibly important. He snarled, and dug deep, forcing himself to focus on his work through sheer force of will. That only lasted so long, maybe an hour or two before thoughts of Ren started drifting back inside his head and distracting him. This time random thoughts about her assessment by the council, right after that cat had been sealed inside of her, started drifting through his mind, and he groaned, putting his pen down on the desk and rubbing his eyes.

 _*flashback*_

During the assessment he had found it incredibly difficult to watch the proceedings and not put a stop to it all. Watching as Baki hurt her verbally and then Kankuro threw stuff at her, he had been having about as much trouble as she was controlling himself. And Shukaku hadn't been particularly happy about it either. Between both Gaara and Shukaku, there had been a distinct possibility of death and mayhem breaking out on the sidelines.

Particularly when Kankuro had thrown rotten stuff at her and then rocks. That had been nearly impossible, and then turned utterly impossible for him to stand by and watch as Baki took over, because he had actually _heard_ the thud as the rock had hit her, and had smelled her blood. That had set him and Shukaku off so violently that by the next rock, where she was sent to the ground on her knees, coughing in pain, his aura was so deadly that everyone around him took twenty hasty steps back. He had snarled and run down to the field, intending to put a stop to it, and probably in a highly violent manner. Thankfully Temari had intercepted him and reminded him that Ren would be locked up if he interfered, although it was obvious that she was also pissed off. She had been so pissed off in fact, that the sight of his black eyes hadn't even fazed her, she had just put her hands over his ears and told him to close his eyes as she did the same, both of them shaking in pain and anger. He had gritted his teeth, and forced his eyes to close, seeing Temari's doing the same, and catching the glimpse of a tear on her cheek.

After that he would have thought watching the assessment with the twins would be a breeze, but it had been strangely difficult for him to bear, in a completely different way. Watching them touch her, even knowing they were her brothers, he had been struck with a possessive and jealous feeling so bad that he nearly launched himself onto the field again. He had once again been in serious danger of actually attacking. The intensity of the feeling had surprised him. The blackness had risen up in his soul so violently that he knew he could have potentially killed Kaoru and Hikaru, if he actually _had_ gone onto the field. Thankfully he had been able to control himself.

 _*end flashback*_

Gaara sighed, leaning back in his chair and giving up on getting any work done for the time being, finding his ruminations about Ren infinitely more entertaining any day. He thought back, remembering how after the assessment she had moved into his house, without his knowledge, and he sighed again, this time wistfully. He found that he missed living with her, knowing that all he had to do was go home to see her. It had been so difficult for him to find the time to see her lately, that he ached with longing, wishing it had been as simple as just a few weeks ago.

 _*flashback*_

He hadn't known she was going to move in, until he came home from a mission and she was in her new room, knocked out on her new bed. He had gone in to investigate and she had flinched on the bed, seeming to sense him but not waking up, but her head turning in his direction. Intrigued, he had gone into the room, standing by the bed to look down on her. Her face had followed his progress through the room, and he had seen the way her nose twitched, as if she was following his scent in her sleep. When he had come to a stop by the bed, she had blindly searched him out, squirming on the bed towards him like a blind kitten hunting for its mom, finally putting her hand off the edge of the bed, landing on his leg. He had found her so incredibly cute, a surge of warmth had risen within his heart, and it had been impossible for him to walk away from her. So he had sat down and let her drape herself on him.

 _*end flashback*_

Gaara rolled his eyes, remembering how that had been the beginning of the most infuriating few months of his life. On the one hand, he had thoroughly enjoyed having her be a part of the household. On the other, she had made life incredibly difficult for him. She had acted so strangely around him, generally somewhat cranky, on occasion downright furious, and sometimes afraid again, and he hadn't been exactly sure what was going on at first. Until he started to notice the changes in her scent.

Her scent had changed when she had been possessed, and now it contained wild notes in it that never ceased to arouse Shukaku within him. Shukaku had already been unhealthily obsessed with Ren, and now it was only worse. He was constantly poking his big sandy nose in Gaara's business, whenever it involved Ren, adding in his two cents, which were usually of a crude and often highly explicit nature. Her moving in had given him a semi-permanent problem, the kind of problem that had had him seeking out looser pants. Even so, that had been easy enough to ignore, since he had already gone through puberty and remembered various methods of suppressing that particular reaction.

Apparently, Ren's new feline demon had had a similar reaction inside of her. The first time he had picked up on that intoxicating scent that meant she had gotten aroused he had very nearly dropped whatever it was that he had been doing. He had begun to scent it more and more, the scent driving him nearly mad. That particular scent never ceased to make his dick wake up completely, never mind the half-hard shit he had been dealing with before, and whenever that happened, it utterly distracted him from whatever he had been thinking or doing or saying previous to it.

Having that happen so often, multiple times, every day, over the course of several months, it had ticked him off.

He could understand why she had gotten so irritable. There were times that he had gotten rather frustrated himself, sometimes simply giving up on it and leaving the room to seek relief in the privacy of his own bedroom. He found himself doing that quite a bit more than usual during those few months, driven to distraction as he was. He was as volatile as Ren, and though he had had a longer time to learn how to control all the senses and impulses that came with having an animal cooped up inside of you, her scent never failed to drive those instincts through the roof.

He had only barely been able to hide how much it had affected him. Certainly he had done it better than Ren, who had very nearly turned homicidal. He had to wonder if she even knew how to relieve those tensions herself, or even if women could do that in the way men could, by touching certain body parts in certain ways.

He remembered how that particular question had been answered for him one day, after she had been told that she was in house arrest.

 _*flashback*_

He had gone down to breakfast and then went back up to his room after eating. Well, that had been his intention, until he was very nearly bowled over by the fantastic scent around Ren's door. He had physically flinched, the scent so intoxicating that he was immediately and completely aroused, in an almost painful way.

And then he had done something he probably shouldn't have, and stuck around to listen in on what she was doing to create such a wonderful aroma. He had been able to pick up the sounds of very tiny, very soft moans, various whimpering noises, and a few other sounds, all of which immediately made it necessary to ascend the second staircase and go to his own room to take care of himself.

He had noted that her scent was in his room, and curious, he had followed it, finding that she must have stolen his towel, because there was a fresh one hung in the space of the old, and her scent was on it. It took him all of a minute to figure out exactly why she had stolen it, and then once he did figure it out it had sent him into a state, the likes of which he hadn't really ever experienced before. Being that aroused had been quite…intense, and he had very quickly dealt with the matter, right there in his bathroom, and then again in bed shortly after.

It seemed that she had figured out how to take care of herself in a similar fashion, or at least that's what he had to assume she had been doing to have her making those sounds and smells, and she had seemed less tense when she had come down from her room later on during the day. Although she had reacted strangely when she had seen him. She almost appeared more afraid than before, and he had to wonder why. The only thing he could figure, was that it had been the first time she had tried relieving herself in that way, and that it had scared her somehow. He couldn't really imagine why.

 _*end flashback*_

He hummed, considering. He was still pondering why it seemed that she had freaked out over touching herself. Although he had scented her distinct sweet musky smell from under her door almost every day after that, he had never smelled it nearly as strongly as the first time, nor had he heard any sort of sounds coming from her room, which lead him to believe that she hadn't relieved herself of that tension aside from the one time.

And it appeared that that decision had costed her a great deal, because she had slowly grown more and more murderous, eventually throwing that book at Temari at a velocity that would very likely have killed her. At that point he had taken it upon himself to go and at least help her relieve the tension in some way, even if it was by picking a fight with her.

And that's what he had done. And it had worked spectacularly. Although he had very nearly lost it at the end when he had shoved her up against her wall. If Kankuro hadn't walked in when he did, Gaara probably would have done something very stupid, like kiss her, and potentially more. Shukaku had been dangerously close to the surface, and even without Shukaku he had felt some pretty intense urges that were all his own.

But thankfully nothing had happened, and it had helped Ren. And after that they had gone sparring, or at least they had tried, but then it had become apparent that Ren needed his assistance in training instead.

And that was how the past few months had passed. Him helping her train, nearly every day. She had progressed quickly, at a pace that had both shocked and impressed him a great deal, and she was now back to her previous power levels, even greatly surpassing them. Her chakra levels were more on par with his own now, which he had found to be excellent, because they could use each other as sparring partners to help get all that excess energy off. He had of course sparred with her in the past, before she ever was possessed, but he had had to hold back a great deal.

And then finally…finally, she had made that move he had been waiting so long for, and he had been so ecstatic he very nearly couldn't control himself.

 _*flashback*_

He had been in his deep meditative state, when Ren's scent had drawn him forth, the intensity startling him. It was as if she was directly in front of his nose, the scent of her skin so detailed and wonderful. He had kept his breathing calm, not entirely sure what was going on, but he didn't want to disturb her if she was right in front of him.

And that had turned out to be a very good thing, although it hadn't seemed so at first, as her scent dulled, to his keen disappointment. But then he had felt the faintest touch on his hair, as something lightly stroked a strand of his hair on his forehead, moving it to the side. His breath had stuttered in surprise, and her touch had disappeared, so he forcibly resumed the even deep breath pattern, hoping she would think he had fallen back asleep. And it had worked, because shortly after he had felt a delicate, barely there touch on his skin. He couldn't help the little hiccup in his breathing, and her touch froze on his forehead. But soon it resumed as he forced his breathing back to normal.

She had ever so lightly traced his kanji, and he had felt his heart slowly inflating in his chest, until it was so full it was painful. It felt full of hot coals, the warmth of his emotions burning him from the inside out. He had only barely been able to keep himself still, as she continued touching his face, moving from his forehead to trace his other features, all with that same, feather light touch that tickled and felt so fucking fantastic he could have just burst into tears right then and there. Thankfully he hadn't.

And then he had heard the tiniest, most sad sound he had ever heard come from her throat, almost a whimper on top of a sob, and he had felt her fingers threaten to withdraw. The sound sent a bolt of pain shooting through him, the sadness and longing in it so intense he hadn't been able to stay still any longer. As her hand was about to move away from him he had reached up and caught it.

He had known she would freak out, and she did. As he rolled over, to look at her, her eyes were tightly closed, and he had followed the tension in her arm with his eyes, something about it drawing his attention, and he suddenly had seen why. She had been digging her nails into her own scar, and he could smell the scent of blood. Horrified, he had quickly slid his fingers under hers, very gently, removing her nails from her skin, and then had traced the mark, like she had his. He knew what it said, and as he touched it, he wished he could erase it from her skin, knowing how much pain it caused her.

She jerked, and he knew she didn't like him touching it, by the way she grabbed his wrist, but she had let him touch it anyways, and once again he had felt his heart squeeze and burn. He had left her scar, and had moved up to touch her face, wiping the tears gently out from one of her eyes, pained to see them. Finally she had opened her eyes, and at first all he had seen was confusion and fear in them, and then shock as she met his gaze and saw how he was looking at her. And then slowly, he had gotten to see exactly what that probably looked like, as her eyes had softened, grown more tender, more vulnerable, less guarded, and so beautiful he had wanted to just stare into them forever.

And then he had kissed her, because he hadn't been able to stop himself.

 _*end flashback*_

Gaara sighed, smiling, utterly content, and got back to work. Or tried to.

 **Author's Note:**

So...catching up with Gaara's take on everything! Yay! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, going back and taking on Gaara's perspective.


	63. Burn With Me: Chapter 35

A few days later, my team and I were assigned a new mission. This time, the mission was to go find a significant artifact that had been stolen many years ago, but only recently a tip had been given as to its whereabouts. We would have to travel a great distance to find it, to a part of the desert that I hadn't even ever heard of before. The artifact was incredibly important and quite powerful, and had to be retrieved ASAP.

Naturally, we would be dealing with a group of very dangerous and powerful people to get it back. The tip had said that it was being held in the fortress of a group of rogue ninja, called the Narazumono, who specialized in stealing, collecting, and using powerful artifacts to gain power. They were using their stash to create a small rogue nation, terrorizing a bunch of small villages there, and demanding tribute. But the Narazumono were just outside of the borders of the Land of Wind, so that problem wasn't within our jurisdiction to try and fix. Our mission was to retrieve _**our**_ artifact only.

Thinking back, I remembered the way Gaara had met my eyes when he had assigned us this mission. His face had been calm, professional, impassive; a Kazekage giving his ninja's an important mission, but the way his pale eyes had met mine told a different story. He had looked at me with an intensity that betrayed his concern about the mission, and I knew that he hadn't wanted to assign me this mission, but perhaps the council had talked him into it.

After assigning the mission he had ended with the order of, "Use utmost caution."

I knew that was his way of saying ' _please be careful'_ and I had smiled, bowed, and said, "Yes Lord Kazekage, my team and I will be very cautious on this mission. Thank you for the warning." There was no hint of sarcasm in my tone, I simply wanted to let him know that we would be okay.

We had left then and there. And now here we were, scaling dunes I had never seen before, the sand turning a strange reddish color. As the color changed, the dunes grew smaller and smaller, and eventually we were traversing a wasteland, flat, barren, red soil, cracked, with no vegetation at all. It was dismal. And the heat was insane, I had grown up in a desert all my life, and I still didn't think I had ever experienced heat like this before. Dehydration started to become a serious issue for all of us.

Eventually we came upon a series of mountains, rising up out of the ground abruptly. It had already been a good two weeks of travel, of constant running, aside from the narrow timeframes we allowed ourselves to sleep. And we simply hadn't packed enough water. So we were all relieved to see the place described at the base of those mountains.

It was a simple matter to sneak into the rather intimidating military looking facility, using Kaoru's jutsu. Unfortunately, once in, we had no idea where to look, and Kaoru couldn't hold the jutsu on all three of us forever. So we had to use utmost stealth, and succeeded at not being caught, for a good long while at least. But not knowing where this artifact was, meant that we had to explore, and that came with some risks. We finally found what looked to be the entrance to some sort of treasure chamber, and we snuck into the large outer chamber, seeing that there were some smaller rooms with complicated looking barriers protecting them. Unfortunately, we apparently triggered some kind of security system and were all caught unawares, as the room filled with smoke.

"Shit, this is bad!" I hissed, but couldn't do anything as the smoke quickly paralyzed us, making us unable to move and we collapsed to the floor where we stood.

Shortly after that, the smoke was sucked out of the room somehow and several guards came clomping in. One grabbed me by the feet and started dragging me, the delicate skin on my face scraping against the ground. We were dragged a good ways and by the time we got there my cheek felt rather raw and I was thoroughly pissed off.

We were thrown into some sort of nasty cell, and I couldn't see much of it, being down on the floor and all, but the sticky ground and the coppery scent in the air didn't bode well. After a few minutes someone came in and chortled at the sight of the three of us on the ground.

"Well, well, look what we have here. A couple of intruders eh? Excellent. I haven't been able to torture anyone for information in a while! This will be a nice diversion from the normal boredom. Now who shall I start with? How about you, young lady? Lady's first after all, it's only good manners."

 _Of course. Naturally._

 _ **Why?! Why ladies first?! How about he goes first and just fucking drops dead? How about that?**_

 _I think that's a marvelous idea. If only we had those sorts of powers._

I was picked up rather roughly and put into a chair, a rather nasty metal chair with all sorts of gears and shit all over it that indicate it could be moved and arranged in multiple ways. He strapped me in with secure leather cuffs attached to the chair, around my wrists, ankles, over my neck, and one over each upper thigh, right where my legs attached to my hips.

All the while, muffled grunts and what I was sure were protests tumbled from the twins who were lying limply on the floor, unable to move to help me, which was driving them absolutely nuts.

He then put together some sort of shot and poked me in the cheek, giving me a little squirt, and then again on the other side. "There, that will null the paralysis in your jaw muscles, letting you sing like a bird."

 _ **How insulting…**_

"So to begin, where are you from?"

 _Probably best if I don't respond to that, I don't want there to be implications to the Sand Village, and potentially have an attack in retribution._

He grinned sadistically and took out some senbon sized needles, only a good deal thicker, probably the thickness of knitting needles, but much sharper, playing with them a minute, looking at me consideringly. He stabbed one through my hand, in between the bones, and all the way through. I gritted my teeth. That hurt pretty bad. _Fuck._ But I refused to make noise, not wanting to upset the twins.

 _ **OW! Goddammit! I'm gonna rip him to shreds!**_

 _Be my guest…_

He asked again. I refused to answer. He stabbed another needle through the other hand. I winced, the little I could, and hissed. That _really_ fucking _hurt_. The pain was sharp, and then continued long after the initial penetration as the metal remained. At the hiss the twins started up again with their chorus of muffled grunts and other noises that were not understandable.

He asked the same question. I refused to answer again. He stabbed a slightly longer, thicker needle through my forearm. And then the other forearm when I refused again. Those hurt a lot more, and it was really hard not to shout out, but I managed not to make much noise, limiting myself to a soft grunt and gritting my teeth together hard enough that it was probably audible.

He sighed. "Alright. Let's try a different question. Why are you here?"

"To…drop off a fruit basket." I replied. I heard the snorts from the redheads on the ground.

 _ **A fruit basket? Really? That's the best you could do?**_

 _Under the circumstances…yeah_

He chuckled. "Somehow I doubt that."

He took a much longer needle this time and I watched with trepidation. He lined it up and then shoved it through my shoulder, somehow sliding it right into and through the joint. This time I yelped. That hurt a lot more than the previous needles.

Kitty howled in my head, experiencing the pain just as sharply as me.

At the yelp my comrades went nuts, sounding absolutely insane with their close-mouthed protests, loud, and sounding like animals, limited to grunts mostly.

"You asshole…!" I gasped. I heard noises that sounded like agreement from the floor.

"Tsk, tsk, not very nice. Now, where are you from and why are you here?"

"I'm from over the rainbow and I'm here to shove a golden dick up your ass." I responded. That got a few incomprehensible comments from the twins. Hikaru especially seemed to agree with me, giving a good snarl and a very loud grunt for emphasis.

 _ **Okay, that one was better…**_ Kitty mentally panted.

 _Thanks…_ I mentally wheezed back.

It was weird to pant and wheeze in thoughts, but it actually did happen.

Mr. Needle-Happy barked a laugh. "Well, you're creative I'll give you that." He went for the other shoulder. I closed my eyes, cringing when I felt the sharp tip line up and then gasping when it was shoved through. My saliva got sucked into my wind pipe and made me choke. Kitty shrieked.

As I coughed, sounds of distress came from my comrades, and my heart squeezed in my chest at what sounded like pained whimpers from the two of them, as they expressed concern.

"Oh dear. Water?"

 _ **Yeah right…**_

He grabbed a glass of water and seemed to offer it to me. I just gave him a look, like ' _really? you expect me to fall for that one?_ ' He grinned, shrugged, and then dumped the contents over my head. Yeah, no it wasn't water. It smelled like alcohol, or something, was very cold, burned my eyes, and hurt like hell on the needles in my shoulders. I gasped.

"Rude!" I wheezed, glaring at him through my stinging eyes. More yelps, snarls, and grunts joined my proclamation, helping to emphasize.

Kitty let loose with a line of cuss words that shocked even me … _ **what a low-down asshole, fucking, goddam, stupid, sonofa lowlife whore, little bitch of a man who needs to go get himself fucked with a hot poker…**_ and so forth.

He shrugged, unapologetic. "Where and why?"

 _ **Where does he need the hot poker? I could tell him where and why…**_

"From a land far, far away, to tell you to go jump off a cliff and die."

"Hm. It doesn't have as nice a ring to it as the last one. That really was a better insult."

"Too fucking bad."

I wiggled my toes. Just a little longer before the paralysis wore off, and then this guy was in serious trouble. I watched him with sharp eyes, waiting.

 _ **Just a little longer…and then he's ours.**_

"All right," he sighed, "Let's try this again. Where are you from and why are you here?" He lined up two needles this time, one in each of the small dips of my collarbones, below my shoulder muscles. Damn, that one was going to hurt.

I braced myself for the incoming pain. "I'm from somewhere, and I'm here to do something. And fuck you and your goddam needles."

He tsked and shoved both needles in at once. My back tried to arch under the pain, but it was still a little paralyzed, so I only managed to twitch, a choked off scream coming out as a whine in my closed mouth, behind tightly gritted teeth. Yeah, that fucking hurt. Kitty screamed bloody murder.

I tried to ignore the way both of my brothers were now sounding, the pain from hearing their choked off sobs almost as bad as the needles imbedded in my flesh.

"Alright, last chance missy, and then we're going to get serious." He pulled out some extra-long needles, about a foot and a half at least, and maybe 1/4th inch in diameter.

 _ **Just where in the hell does he think he's putting those things?!**_

I swallowed hard. Those looked deadly. I wasn't sure if by 'serious,' he meant he was planning on killing me with those things, but I was gonna have to get free pretty soon here or else I was about to find out the hard way.

"So…same questions. Any smart answers this time?"

I gritted my teeth thinking fast. "Uh, I'm from the Village Hidden in the Stones."

He chuckled. "Nice try, but you have on a Sand Village headband."

I glared at him. If he knew that, then why was he torturing me for information he already knew?

"Of course there's always the possibility that it's a fake headband, but you are wearing what looks like authentic Sand Shinobi clothes as well, and carrying signature canteens that they carry in the desert."

"Well, if you had already made up your mind where I was from, then why did you bother to ask me?"

"Because I wanted you to answer. It doesn't matter if I know the answer or not, what matters is that you understand I have the power here, so that you answer all my questions truthfully."

I growled at him, pissed off.

"And you lied."

Uh oh. Not good.

I quickly tried to summon chakra to my fingertips, but it felt like along with my muscles, my chakra points had also been paralyzed, and until I had at least a tiny amount of movement in my fingers, I suspected that they would stay paralyzed.

I watched, my breath frozen in my lungs as he came up to me, leaning in and peering at my torso. He reached out and prodded me a few times here and there with his fingers, poking me until he found whatever he was looking for and then he carefully lined up the tip of the needle, in between my ribs, right in the center of my ribcage, near my sternum but a little off to one side and down, angling up a little.

This one he slowly threaded in, not shoving like the last few. I tensed, a deep whine crawling up my throat as I struggled not to make any louder noises, my teeth clenched so hard I could hear my teeth grinding together. Once at a certain depth he shifted the angle to the side a little more and I choked, the pain really getting to me this time. It was a million times worse when he was going slowly like this. I gasped as I felt it go through the skin on my back, managing to skewer me all the way through.

A chorus of distressed sounds from the twins accompanied my sounds of pain. I was forced to breathe in little gasps, the needle pressing against my lungs, a pain that disturbingly I could feel all too clearly. "Shit…" I gasped…wheezing, "You planning on killing me now?" A few snarls and growls showed what the twins thought of that idea.

"No, no. I was careful not to puncture anything important. I'm a medical ninja you know. I can sense everything through these needles, and I can use you like a pincushion without actually causing any fatal damage."

I gaped at him in horror. This guy was a real piece of work. Some sharply punctuated sounds, perhaps a little higher pitched than before with shock, came tumbling from the two teens on the floor, showing that they felt the same way about that information as I did.

I struggled to twitch my fingers and almost got them to go for me, but not before he asked his dumb questions again and started threading another needle through my torso. Kitty was writhing, trying to do something to get our chakra network free. I gasped shallowly, whimpering, forcibly biting off that stupid scream, locking it in my chest, but I wasn't entirely successful. Goddammit, this hurt like fucking hellfire. I was so deep into my own pain that I didn't even hear the twins this time.

The sensation of someone poking you with a foot long needle slowly through your torso moving it this way and that to avoid your organs, was excruciating, and more than that, extremely disturbing. I wasn't sure if my body wanted to scream or throw up.

As he finished with that one, breaking through on the skin on my back, I finally, finally was able to just barely twitch my fingertips, and that was all I needed, I could feel my chakra network firing back up, breaking free of the paralysis. Chakra rushed down my arms, built up from trying so hard to send it blindly to my fingers, sending chills and goosebumps flying along the flesh in its wake.

 _ **HE'S DEAD MEAT!**_ Kitty roared. Now that I had opened up a channel, she shoved her own chakra into the mix, making it that much more powerful.

I flexed my fingers, arching them into claws with my limited mobility, and wind coalesced inside the room, starting to funnel in at an alarming rate, called by my chakra. A dull howl started up as the wind scraped along the walls, building up into an unbearable scream as it whipped into a frenzy.

My eye sight sharpened, and I knew I was glaring at him now with those eerie blue/red eyes, his expression going from smug and sadistic to confused at the wind and now terrified as he took in my eyes.

"What are you? Some kind of demon?" He yelled, backing away.

"Oh you have no idea, you little bitch. You just messed with the wrong pincushion." I growled, my voice warped from kitty's voice threaded through my own.

I wrapped the wind tighter and tighter around the room, drawing it in close to him, directing it as best I could with the little twitches I could manage in my fingers. I sharpened it like blades, slicing his skin. He tried to run, but I wasn't having any of that. I was able to form a little tornado from the brief jerks I was able to control, and scooped him up, slamming him into a wall.

He slid to the ground unconscious.

 _Great. Now what?_ I was still tied up, and the twins were still paralyzed.

I looked around, the needle he had used to give me that antidote was on the ground nearby. I didn't have enough control over the wind yet to cut my own restraints without risking cutting myself. I guess we would just have to wait a little longer until I had greater control over myself.

"Hold on guys, we have to wait until I have enough control to cut my restraints, just give me a minute." I was met with affirmative grunts.

After another few minutes I had enough control to guide the wind with enough delicacy to sever the restraints. It took a while because I did it slowly, not wanting to risk injuring myself.

By the time I was on the last ankle restraint both twins had regained some mobility, both managing to sluggishly push themselves into their sides. I was concentrating so hard on the last restraint that I didn't notice, but I heard their gasps of horror. The last leather strap fell off and I sighed, relieved, but now I had to do something about these needles. That was a tough one, because I couldn't move my arms really, at least not without sending shards of agony through my shoulders where the needles were wedged between the arm bone and shoulder.

While I contemplated my options I was interrupted by Hikaru choking out the words, "What the hell did he do to you Ren?"

"Hm?" I grunted, looking up, noticing that both twins were staring at me in horror. "What? The needles? Yeah, it's not so bad…" I tried to bluff, not wanting them to worry.

They both scowled. "Yeah right." Kaoru scoffed.

"Okay well, yeah. It's pretty bad." I sighed, deciding just to go with the truth. "I can't actually move anything for fear of doing some serious damage."

"No don't! Just wait, we'll help!" Hikaru yelped.

"Yeah, Ren! Just hang in there!" Kaoru continued.

After a few more minutes they seemed to be more mobile, and scooted slowly over to me. I was sitting still, able to move now, but not really willing to because I simply could not figure out how to get the darn needles out. I did my best, tucking my arm in as tight as I could and then slowly bending my elbow, reaching up my chest with my hand, trying to reach the needle sticking out of the opposite shoulder. I went slowly, grimacing, the pain increasing as I rotated my shoulder. If only I could just…reach…a little further….

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop. Didn't I just say we were going to help?" Hikaru admonished.

"I know, I know." I sighed.

Hikaru and Kaoru solved the problem for me, now mostly able to move their arms and hands, just still having some issues with their legs. They pulled themselves up on either side of me, leaning their upper bodies against the chair to prop themselves up.

"Just hold still Ren," Hikaru said firmly, giving me a reproachful look.

"We'll get those for you." Kaoru finished.

I sighed, letting my arm slowly drop back down into my lap, grateful to my brothers.

Hikaru and Kaoru took each arm closest to them, taking turns so as to not do too much at once. Kaoru started with my left shoulder, removing the needle as gently as possible. It still hurt like a bitch. I bit my lip, doing my best to stay strait faced and not let my eyes water.

Once the needle was out it immediately felt better though, the pain still thrumming through the abused flesh, but the relief from having the metal out was such that I sighed.

Hikaru started on my right shoulder. He went with a slightly faster approach, getting it out as quickly as possible while not causing any more damage. I yelped, not expecting the sudden removal of the needle, and a shard of pain shot through me, but then I felt better immediately.

They did the ones above my collarbones next. I breathed deeply and focused on my breathing, trying not to focus on the pain. Kaoru once again went slower and more gently, causing less pain but taking longer, while Hikaru went faster, getting it over with quickly. It was nice to have one and then the other, each approach giving me a different relief.

They methodically removed the needles from my arms and hands and then paused, staring worriedly at the two in my torso. I looked down, also concerned, not sure how I was going to remove them without stabbing myself.

 _ **Leave this one up to me, I'll direct, and you pull. I can see them more clearly than you, maybe because I'm more internalized.**_

I nodded, _Alright Kitty._

"I've got these guys."

I gently grasped the end of one.

 _Ready._

 _ **Pull.**_

I gently started pulling, wincing and biting my lip.

 _ **A little to the left.**_ I angled it that way. _ **Good, now straighten it out.**_ I straitened it out. _**Careful now, the tip is really close to our lungs. Ease it out slowly.**_ I inched it out as slowly as I could.

And so it went, slowly, carefully, with Kitty's help we removed the needles in my chest. They seemed to take forever to get out, so long. The twins watched, their faces growing more and more disturbed as more and more of the first needle was withdrawn.

"How long is that fucking needle?" Hikaru asked, disturbed and disgusted.

"A mile and 2 quarters." I wheezed.

"Yeah that looks about right." Kaoru nodded, his face screwed up.

After an excruciating, exhausting ten minutes or so, all the needles were removed, and I gasped as the tip of the last one exited my torso, letting it fall to the ground as I collapsed back into the chair.

"Well, that was fun. Now I know how a pincushion feels. I'm never going to take up sewing, that's for sure."

We still had to complete our mission though, so after a quick breather and a pain pill, we set out, but before we left the room I took one of the long needles and shoved it through the torturers heart, killing him not just because he was a sadistic bastard, but also because he had the little amount of information he had managed to gather. Mainly that we were from the Sand Village. And then we left, Kaoru and Hikaru using their Genjutsu to make us invisible. We snuck through the hallways, careful not to get caught in any traps this time.

We finally managed to reach the room where the artifacts were kept, and we thankfully were able to find it quickly, grabbed it, and got out of there. Unfortunately, someone must have gone in to check on how the torturing was going because suddenly the alarm was raised, and we made a run for it. I intentionally checked my speed, not wanting to outpace the twins. Plus, I was still in some pain, so I didn't really feel like running all that fast.

We came upon some rogue ninja in the hallways now, despite our best efforts, and we had to fight our way out. The twins worked seamlessly as a team, Kaoru dropping to the back of the party and dispersing a widespread Genjutsu that moved with us, starting a few feet in front of us, so any enemy approaching would be caught in it. It was some sort of light Genjutsu, blinding them and making them see bright white lights and prisms, and all the ninja we came across began to stagger and grabbed their eyes, shouting. Hikaru took the left side, I took the right side, and anyone in the middle was fair game. We plowed through the ninja that obstructed our way, both of us using short range weapons. I used my short swords and he used short metal beating sticks, one in each hand.

We worked seamlessly as a well-oiled machine, having done this before many times. As the enemy was caught up in the Genjutsu and started staggering around, anyone on my side was immediately cut down by my swords, blood spraying the walls beside me and coating me as well. Anyone unlucky enough to be on Hikaru's side promptly had the equivalent of a very heavy wrench whack them upside the head or swung into their middle, and if they didn't immediately collapse from blunt force trauma, ninjas being pretty tough typically, then he smacked them like someone would hit a ball with a stick and bounced them in my direction. We formed a triangle, Kaoru at the back, Hikaru and me at the front, with Hikaru a little ahead of me bouncing them back for me to finish them off. It could work either way, with me or Hikaru as point, but it depended on who was fresher, and right now I was pretty beat up, so doing the final blow was fine with me.

We plowed through the hallways, leaving a trail of blood and broken bodies behind us. It was possible that a few survived, but right now we were on a mission, and we needed to get out. Now.

We came out into an open courtyard, and our formation was suddenly not going to work anymore. But we had another formation for this situation. We stayed somewhat close to the doorway, Kaoru hung at the back and set up a broader Genjutsu, this one capturing enemies within a ten foot radius around us. I could see it, like squirrely heat waves shuddering across the ground around us. I knew if anyone stepped a foot into that, they would promptly find their eyes bombarded by a world of only bright light, as if they were standing in the middle of the sun, and they would be blinded and experience an immediate excruciating headache.

Hikaru took point, stepping out in front of us and twisted both of his metal sticks, and they lengthened a little in his hands. Then in a practiced move I had seen a thousand times, but that never ceased to impress me, he tossed them up into the air, his hands coming together in a series of very fast and intricate hand signs, his palms glowing with two red seals. The twin metal sticks came back down and he caught them, the glowing seals on his palms hitting the pre-marked metal and red lines threaded across the shafts. Twin, glowing, red, fiery snakes slithered out of the hollow tubes, extending to easily twenty feet long. They weren't snakes that were truly alive; they were closer to the blue serpents that had made up those damn blue tails of Seimei's.

Except these were whips, not swords. Hikaru flicked the metal handles and the two red whips sang through the air, the serpent's heads on them opened their mouths, fangs bared. As several enemies approached they were taken out. Two were sent flying into the wall with cracks of his whips. Another one snuck up, but Hikaru sent his serpent whip out, the fangs imbedding deeply in the guy's neck in a vicious bite as Hikaru flicked the handle, dragging the guy forward by his neck, and then tossed him back, the snake keeping his throat as he hit the wall. Hikaru flicked the whip again and the bit of flesh was tossed aside dismissively.

While he dealt with the enemies on the ground I switched to long range attacks, the courtyard having a second level, and many ninja bearing projectile weapons were up there, ready to throw stars or needle us with arrows, and I had no intention of becoming another pincushion. I spread my legs, grabbing handfuls of throwing stars from my straps and sent them through the air, using little tails of wind to send them neatly sinking into their targets and then drawing them back.

I had enough shurikens in the holsters around my thighs for two full rounds, each round two handfuls, which accounted for about eight stars. So that was sixteen stars total, but I could only control about eight at a time, four in each hand, one pinched between each set of fingers. I had learned this technique from Kankuro, my wind tails similar to his chakra threads.

The three of us moved forward once we were in formation. Hikaru started, his whips cracking across the ground and through the air, sending enemies flying left and right, sometimes jerking them right up to him where he could punch their lights out with the butt of his metal handle. I followed, controlling my little flock of shurikens flying through the air, going out, hitting their targets or blocking other shurikens, and then coming back to my hands to be caught neatly between my fingers. Kaoru followed me, keeping up his Genjutsu, confusing the enemy on all sides. As he maintained that he drew his bow from his back, notching an arrow, defending our back. I heard the sound of his chakra crackling along his bowline, and then it was released with a twang, and an the glowing blue arrow sailed through the air above out heads, landing amongst a group of ninja on the balcony above us that were likewise notching arrows. The blue arrow landed, and then exploded in a rain of fiery blue sparks, sending ninja flying.

As the battle got more intense, there were more projectiles than I could account for with my eight Shurikens, so I severed the tails and let them sink into their last targets. I summoned my Dancing Wind Shield, making it large enough to circle the three of us and leaving enough space open at the front for Hikaru to work through. I controlled the bands of wind surrounding us as we hustled across the courtyard, blocking all the projectiles and keeping them out of the way of the twins, so it was spiraling mostly above us, occasionally pulling a current down to block something from the side.

Once we broke free from the courtyard we broke formation, darting across the sand to get away as fast as possible with my wind shield to our back to cover us. The twins ran ahead and I stayed a little ways behind, maintaining the shield for a moment and then used my Telaria Jutsu and wind sensing jutsu to dart out, knowing if anything was coming from behind and easily able to dodge. I caught up with them quickly and we ran fast to get away.

We had to keep up the pace, because in the desert like this, where it was perfectly flat, you could see for miles, so we still weren't safe.

I pushed on, but then I started to flag. My strength was waning. The pain in my arms and torso was such that it was distracting me and made it difficult for me to keep up, even with the pain pill I had taken. I hadn't taken a very strong pain pill, because I would have been knocked out or made useless in a fight. I forced myself to continue long after I would have liked to stop.

Eventually we made it to the slightly taller sand dunes and we parked ourselves for a breather. As we sat, I checked on my wounds, not having had time to bandage them earlier. My hands were dripping with blood, but I wasn't entirely sure how much of it was mine, since I had just come back from battle. I was covered in blood from my enemies. Even my hair was sticky. There really wasn't any way for me to tell how badly I was bleeding. I sighed. I bandaged my hands and the wounds in my forearms and placed spot bandages over the wounds in my shoulders and torso.

We popped food pills, I took another small pain pill, we drank a tiny bit of water from our desperately low water reserves, and then started off again, at a more reasonable pace this time.

It took as a day or two longer to get back than it did to get there. We had to slow down more and more as we grew more dehydrated and as my wounds started aching more and more. I didn't bother redressing my bandages in that time, not even really looking at them, my mind getting a little fuzzy from the lack of water and the heat and constant pain. We arrived back in Suna and slowly made our way to report on the mission, plodding our way to the Kazekage tower with leaden feet. If we hadn't been carrying the artifact with us I probably would have said ' _fuck the council let's get something to drink and eat first_ ,' but given the level of our mission we were duty bound to report first thing.

When we got to the reception area, where any team that returned checked in, there were a few teams ahead of us, already there. They took one look at us and the state we were in, covered in dried blood, and in my case even some fresh blood, sandy, and with some very bad sunburns, and dehydration issues that were easy to see given the very sad and painfully cracked situation going on with our lips. And they all stepped aside for us to go next. We murmured our thanks and signed in. The person took a look at the code number of our mission and immediately ran to summon the council. Since this had been a highly classified, top rank mission we would be giving our report in front of the entire council.

Thankfully it was only a minute or two before we were called back to the council room, and one of the guards hurried to open the door for us as we staggered around the corner.

 _Wow, do we really look so bad that they don't even think we can hold open a door? Damn._

We straggled into the room and there were a series of gasps and exclamations from the hurriedly assembled council members as they got a good look at us. As team leader, it was my job to give the report. _Yay me._ I wasn't looking forward to having to speak, for very specific reasons.

I stepped forward, wobbling just a tad. I frowned, not happy about my body doing something stupid like give into exhaustion at his particular moment. I stiffened my spine, wincing when it pulled on the wounds on my collarbones, torso, and shoulders.

I couldn't focus very well, my eyes so tired from sun glare and gritty from sand that they were quite blurry, but I did my best to point my gaze towards the white and green blob that I knew was Gaara, especially since I could just make out a little splash of red under the big hat.

I couldn't see his expression, but I would guess he didn't look too happy right now.

I cleared my throat. Smacked a few times, squinted, and cleared my throat again. "The mission was a success." I croaked, my voice as sandy and dry as the desert and I winced as my lips split and licked the blood off. _Ew._

"Wait, did you say success?" and "What did she say?" Were two of the many responses I got from the various council members. I could understand the confusion, my hoarse voice was nearly incomprehensible. So I simply retrieved the artifact and held it out. Someone jumped up, a scribe or something, and quickly hustled to take it from me. Everyone spoke at once again, sounding excited.

I wobbled in place for a few moments, waiting for them to shut the fuck up so I could give my goddam report and go. The twins must have seen my balance issues because they subtly scooted closer to me and braced me with a hand each on my back, careful not to press on the exit wounds on my back.

"QUIET!" The deep order echoed through the room from the Kazekage seat and immediately created a hush throughout the room.

I sighed in relief.

"Make your report as brief as possible." Came the gentle order afterwards, the tone completely different from the first order. Well, at least Gaara could see that we needed to go get some water and rest.

I cleared my throat again, working on getting up enough saliva to do the job properly. I heard Gaara give some sort of soft order to someone, but I didn't really hear what it was. I was able to figure it out when someone brought us a tray with a pitcher of water and three glasses.

We all got water and did our very best to drink slowly even though we wanted to guzzle. But throwing up inside the council chamber would be bad etiquette.

As soon as my throat felt like less of a lizard's skin I cleared my throat again, having a little more success this time. "Thank you." My voice was still a little crackly, but it was definitely more understandable. "I will be as brief as possible. We reached the destination. The desert on the way there is hotter than we would have expected and so we didn't take enough water. We snuck in successfully, were captured, uh, probed for information, broke free, found the artifact, were discovered on the way out, fought our way out, and returned home. Any questions?"

There was a long pause and then one council member asked, "You were captured?"

Another continued, "And probed for information? Does this mean you were interrogated?"

"Yes." I said.

"All three of you?"

"No. Lady's first." I grumbled.

"So just you?"

"Correct." I sighed.

"And did you give them any information?"

"No. Just bullshit." I shrugged, then winced.

There were a few offended scoffs at my word choice.

One particularly snotty voice inquired, "Excuse me but did you just say 'bull feces?'"

"No." I was getting pissed off.

"It certainly sounded like you said that. Would you please refrain from using profanity in here?"

I shrugged, not really giving a damn.

"At any rate, please define what you meant by that word."

I sighed. "I meant that I cussed at him a lot and made up stupid shit."

"Again with the cussing. Could you please hold your tongue?"

"Not if you're asking questions, unless you don't want me to make much sense."

There were two snorts behind me as the twins tried not to laugh.

"Look, what questions were asked and what did you tell them? We need to know if we have had a security breach."

I refrained from groaning and face palming, but that's what I felt like doing, along with cussing a lot. "Very well. He asked where we were from and why we were there."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"And how did you respond?"

I did groan this time, "I told you. A bunch of stupid nonsense!"

"Young lady!" One person exclaimed

Another person said, "Fine, fine, but what exactly did you say?"

"For crying out loud!" I lost my temper. "Since you are _so_ interested, in between being tortured in rather painful ways, I responded to his questions in as such, I quote, 'to bring you a fruit basket' 'from over the rainbow to shove a golden dick up your ass…'" that one got quite a few exclamations and a couple of laughs, "'…from far, far away, to tell you to go jump off a cliff and die' and 'from somewhere to do something and fuck you and your goddamn needles' and lastly when it looked like he might kill me, I said that I was from the Village Hidden in the Stones. At which point he pointed out that we were wearing Sand Ninja headbands. I asked why he was asking stupid questions if he already knew the answer, and he responded with some bullshit about how he wanted me to know he had power over me or something stupid like that. I killed him anyway, so it doesn't matter."

There was a long pause. "Are we done here?" I finally asked, fed up and about to pass out.

"Yes. Thank you for your report." Gaara responded, his voice tight. He sounded very angry, but I wasn't sure if he was angry at me or at the council, and at the moment I was too fucked up to really care.

We left, and went to our respective apartments, though they almost managed to force me to let them come with me. But I was very firm and said I wanted to go lick my wounds in privacy, and thankfully they respected that, assisting me to my apartment, but then letting me enter alone. Once in my apartment I drank water, threw up, and drank more water a little slower. Then after simply collapsing on the couch for a few moments I got up and filled a glass with water to the brim and then gently put one eye into the surface of the water, opening it up once it was submerged, making sure I didn't have any lingering sand. I repeated the process with the other eye, and though it wasn't necessarily pleasant, my eyes did feel significantly less gritty afterwards.

I lay back, with a cool rag over my eyes to help with the eyestrain and headache. After a little while, once I felt like I could stand without passing out, I went into the kitchen and made myself a bowl of noodles, eating slowly so I wouldn't vomit again. The salt helped a lot and I almost felt like a real person afterwards.

It had been several hours since I got home, and I was finally feeling like I might be strong enough for a shower, which I was greatly looking forward to since I was beginning to feel unbearably itchy. And then there was a knock on my door. I heaved a sigh and lugged myself over to the door.

"What do you want?" I asked while opening the door, taking a leaf out of Kankuro's book for I saw who it was I paused. "Oh, Hi Gaara."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So, a break from all the lovey dovey stuff and back into the world of being a ninja. Intense chapter, lot's of violence. I hope it didn't disturb anyone too, too much. But Gaara has to deal with the fact that he's Kazekage and inevitably will have to send Ren on dangerous missions. So, next up, Gaara and Ren deal with what all this means.

Btw, I think I'm going to start going back and combining some of the past chapters, so if you notice the chapters lessening don't be alarmed. :3 It's just that this story is getting so long I suspect people are daunted by the number of chapters and pass it up.


	64. Burn With Me: Chapter 36 & 37

I opened the door wider and let him in. He walked inside slowly, his eyes never leaving me. I closed the door behind him and locked it, really not wanting any more guests.

I sighed, walking towards the bathroom. "I was just getting ready to take a shower, make yourself comfortable."

"Is all that blood yours?" He asked gruffly.

I turned to look at him. "Huh?" I looked down, my black shirt didn't look covered in blood, but I could feel it from the stickiness. My white skirt on the other hand was a rusty colored mess. And I could feel a dried itchiness on my face that told me it was still there as well.

"All of this? No, it's just from all the fighting." I took out one of my short swords and swung it through the air in what would be a killing blow across the carotid artery if someone was in front of me. "That," in reference to the violent motion I had just demonstrated, "tends to get a good spray, and I was doing a lot of that." I slid the sword back into its sheath.

I ignored his slightly shocked expression and wandered into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turned on the hot water and disrobed, making disgusted noises as I peeled the cloth off my body, having to use some force because it wanted to stick. I held it for a second, looking at the material with disgust, the stench coming off it terrible. I tossed it aside and did the same for my pants. Then I carefully peeled the bandages away from my wounds and unwrapped my breast band.

I stepped into the shower, wincing and hissing when the water pelted my open puncture wounds. _Ouch, that stings._ Even with my faster healing abilities thanks to Kitty, they were too deep to have healed. I scrubbed all the filth off my body, the water going down the drain a gross rusty color. Then I carefully and thoroughly washed my wounds. Since I hadn't taken very good care of them, they had gunked up a little, forming some scabs that weren't necessary the cleanest, so I had to scrub them clean, which wasn't very pleasant. I hissed and grunted and cussed, momentarily forgetting about Gaara in the room next door.

After I was done I stepped out of the shower feeling like a new woman, but rather sore. I toweled off and then realized that I had forgotten to bring in a fresh change of clothes.

I sighed and retrieved a fresh roll of bandages from beneath the sink, wrapping my breasts. Then I tucked the towel securely around my hips. I walked out into the living area and immediately headed for my dresser, hunting for a fresh change of clothes. I was distracted momentarily by Gaara's sharp inhale, and I glanced over blinking at him.

"What?" I asked, not really sure why he was making that particular face.

He was looking at my body with shock and possibly also quite disturbed. I shrugged, grabbed some underwear and a fresh pair of pants, carefully slipping them on underneath the towel without letting it drop. After I was dressed, I took the towel off and was about to toss it to the side when I paused, looking at it a little closer. Huh, it had bloody streaks all over it.

I glanced down and was mildly shocked to note the blood now dripping freely from my puncture wounds, leaving red lines down my body from the two on my collarbones and the two on my torso, then red lines down my arms from the two on my shoulders and the two on my forearms, and of course dripped off my fingers from the ones on my hands.

"Huh. Well, damn. Guess I should have rebandaged these right away." I mused out loud, turning to go back into the bathroom to do just that. I was stalled however by Gaara walking towards me, with an intense scowl on his face. "What?" I inquired once again.

He lightly placed his hands on my upper arms and held me there as he leaned back to look at me. I watched as his eyes started at one shoulder and then trailed across my collar bone, pausing on each perfectly round hole. And then his gaze lowered and he looked at the wound right below my ribcage, and then lower still to the one that was next to and a little above my belly button. And then his hands gently tugged on my arms, his palms sliding down to my elbows and holding my arms out in front of me for inspection. He looked at the holes on the tops of my forearms and the tops of my hands.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice rough and deep.

I sighed. "Like I said. We were captured."

"And interrogated?"

"Yes."

"Meaning tortured."

"…yes" I glanced away, not comfortable with the way his eyes burned into mine.

"And these marks are from that?"

"…yes." I murmured, almost feeling a little embarrassed for some strange reason.

"What made them?"

I licked my lips, thinking. "Needles." I eventually answered.

He blinked and looked back down to the ones on the backs of my forearms, gently letting one arm drop while he placed two fingers on either side of the round wound judging the size.

"Needles?" He asked flatly, his fingertips easily measuring out the width.

"Big needles." I amended.

He visibly winced, his breath hissing. "And just how big were these needles?"

I sighed, figuring I might as well show him. "Well you can see the width from how big a hole they left. And you can judge how long they were as well if you want to."

He looked up frowning. "There's no way for me to measure how deep they went without sticking something inside them, and I'm not doing that."

I just turned my forearm to the side. "You can just measure how thick my forearm is. They were longer than that."

He blinked his eyes looking confused for a second and then widened. His eyes jerked down to my forearm and he very carefully turned it over, seeing the exit wound on the other side. His lips parted on a gasp, and his eyes widened even further, to the point I could see all the whites around his eyes. His mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. He gently moved my forearm forward and back, looking at the top wound and then the bottom wound verifying that they did indeed match up.

"Wha…They went all the way through?" He whispered, horrified. His face paled, as his eyes darted back up to my face, almost looking like he might pass out.

"Yes."

He looked back down and then his hand gently slid down to my wrist, circumnavigating the wound on my forearm as he looked at my hand. He flipped my hand upwards and downwards, looking at the wound on it too.

"Here too?" He asked, his voice low and hushed.

"Yes." I let him look at my other arm in the same way.

And then his eyes slowly went up my arm and fixated on my shoulder, where the holes were wider. My hand dropped down to my side gently as his fingers trailed up my arm. "And how long were these?" He asked, his fingers delicately circling around the hole on my shoulder and then the one on my collar bone. His fingers were painted red.

"Probably…about this long…" I held my hands at about a foot in length to show about how long I remembered them to be.

He swallowed thickly. "And do they…?"

"Yes. They go all the way through as well."

"Both these and these?" He lightly slid his fingers from the tops of my shoulders to my shoulder muscle above the wounds on my collarbones.

"All of them went all the way through."

"All of them?" He asked, frowning.

"All of them."

His eyes almost hesitantly slid down my torso, to the two that were obviously going through a part of the human body that should not allow that sort of thing to happen. He inhaled sharply through his nose, his eyes wide.

"Yes, they do go all the way through. He was some sort of freaky medical ninja and he said he could make me into a pincushion without hurting anything vital if he wanted to."

I turned without his prompting and pulled my ponytail over my shoulder so he could see the marks on my back that matched up to the ones in the front. I felt his fingertips lightly gracing the skin on my back, and it felt like his fingers were trembling.

"How was this possible? This should have…"

"Killed me? Yeah. I thought so too. Apparently being a medical ninja means that you can sense where everything is. And he didn't go really strait." I gestured with one hand. "He sort of went in and then went around things, so he'd move it this way to avoid my lungs and then that way to avoid my spine, and stuff like that. Even more so on the lower one because he had to go around intestines, so that one was a lot of fun to sit through. It was a lot of …" I slowly snaked my hand through the air, imitating what it had felt like, with a whole bunch of weaving back and forth.

There was a long pause as Gaara absorbed the information and I heard a shuddering sigh, and his arms lightly came around me, careful of my wounds. I sighed as well, relaxing back into him.

He rested his forehead on the back of my neck for a long moment, and then I felt his nose glide along my shoulder. I felt his lips lightly touch the back of one shoulder, feather light, directly over the exit wound. I flinched, not out of pain, but surprised.

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" He asked softly, pulling back.

"No? I was just surprised…" I responded, not really sure what to say.

"Good." Was his response, spoken in a soft deep voice. His lips trailed over my shoulder and then traced feather light over the exit wound to the puncture wound on my collarbone. I tensed, the sensation odd, but not painful. And then he was moving again, his lips gliding across the back of my neck. I shuddered, the almost ticklish sensation surprisingly pleasurable. His lips felt softer than anything I had ever felt against my skin in that way. He paused over the other collarbone wound for a moment and then traveled to the shoulder wound.

And then his arms slid off from around me, and I tried to turn towards him, to see into his eyes and try and figure out what in the world he was doing, and possibly also to kiss him, that urge was definitely there as well. He stopped me, his hands sliding down my sides and coming to rest on my hips where he held me firmly in the direction I was facing.

I sucked in a breath, his hands touching the skin of my waist for those few seconds had woken up some nerves I didn't know I had, and I was left confused and feeling fuzzy, my stomach tightening with that semi-familiar tension. His grip on my hips shifted and I felt him lowering himself behind me, kneeling I supposed. He trailed a line of kisses down my spine, making me stiffen, almost arching at the soft sensation. He veered off for a moment, hovering his lips lightly over the wound there, and then traveled lower, to the second wound.

After a long moment I felt his fingers shift, pulling one hip towards him and pushing the other away, prompting me to turn to face him. I realized I was trembling. I gasped, seeing him on his knees before me was something I didn't think I would ever see, and I wasn't sure what to think about it. And so I closed my eyes. Which meant I wasn't entirely prepared for his lips touching my stomach.

I twitched, gasping, my eyes flying open as I looked down in shock. He lightly kissed next to my belly button, hovering over the lowest wound there. His eyes were closed, and on further inspection I saw a few tear marks almost invisibly disappearing under his lids and streaking his cheeks. I blinked, my mind blank.

He kissed up my stomach and I shuddered against him, not entirely sure how to feel at the moment. I felt warm, fuzzy, tender feelings, that squeezed my heart in an almost painful way, from discovering the tears and from the gentle way he was kissing each and every wound on my body, and then I was feeling some hot, silky, not so tender feelings from him touching me in this way.

I lightly rested my hands in his hair, unable to resist the temptation. I felt him inhale against me, his lips parting against me and the cool air rushing over my skin as it was sucked into his mouth. His eyes fluttered open and he glanced up, I guess making sure I was okay. I very nearly flinched when our eyes made contact, his wide and innocent almost, the sadness within them making the gaze almost too intense to hold. It felt as if his raw soul was staring out at me from those eyes. I could feel the rawness in my own gaze and I was pretty sure that my whole confusing mess of emotions was displayed clearly on my face. The confusion, the shock, the intense love, and the startling lust.

There was a long pause as we gauged each other's reactions, and then Gaara's eyes darkened a little, warming from the sadness into something that made my stomach flutter under his mouth. A breath hissed in me as I sucked in a deep breath. His lips gently continued to caress up my stomach, his eyes holding mine captive as he did it. The intensity of that gaze paired with the sensation of his lips on my skin was very nearly too much for me to handle, given my already precarious emotions.

As I watched, he very gently kissed the wound on my sternum and then paused speculatively. I gasped and then a small sound escaped me when his tongue sneaked out and he very gently licked me there, cleaning off some of the blood. His eyes darkened even further and I swallowed thickly, certain things low inside my stomach clenching in a way I hadn't felt in a while, and only once before this intensely.

His hands slid up the skin of my sides and hooked around my elbows, pulling my arms towards him. His lips transferred over to the inside of my forearm, and he gently kissed the inside of my elbow, and then followed it down to the wound there, gently kissing that before trailing kisses down my wrist, pausing to kiss the wound in my hand. He flipped over my hand, kissing the wound on the back, before trailing up to kiss the wound in my forearm. He gently let that arm go and repeated the same process on my other forearm. I realized then that the insides of my forearms as well as my palms were very sensitive, and I decided I rather liked the way it felt to be kissed there. Generally, I had discovered that I liked everywhere he had kissed me so far, and I decided that I just liked his kisses in general.

I blinked, and panted, staring wide eyed at him. He finished that arm the same way as the first and then smoothly stood. He dipped his head and kissed my shoulder, pausing over that wound, and then kissed along my collarbone, pausing on that wound. I shuddered, the wounds not painful when he kissed them, and finding the sensation of his kissing my neck and shoulders very pleasurable indeed.

He continued, crossing across the base of my throat and I tilted my head back, my eyes drifting shut, to give him better access. One of his hands came up, burying in the hair at the nape of my neck, his palm gently cupping the base of my skull to support the back of my head. Another soft sound escaped me when he gently kissed the hollow at the base of my throat, and he lingered there for a moment before kissing his way over to the wound on my other collarbone and then the last wound on my shoulder. When he was done he raised his head and I slowly opened my eyes. I gazed slightly dizzily into his gleaming turquoise eyes and then he dipped his head, his lips gently kissing mine.

I sighed into the kiss, wrapping my arms carefully around his neck, wincing just a little when it pulled on my wounds, but not really feeling the pain for some reason. As I parted my lips under his, I could faintly taste my own blood, the red liquid having coated his lips from the contact with my wounds. It was a little gross, the coppery taste not one of my favorites, but the meaning behind it made it okay. I knew the only reason I was tasting it was because he had taken the time to actually kiss all of the wounds on my body, and that knowledge somehow nullified the unpleasantness of the taste, almost making it taste sweet. But not quite.

Used to licking my own wounds, or the blood on my lips when they cracked from the desert heat, it was almost a habitual reaction for me to part my lips over his a little more and lightly lick the blood off his lower lip. It seemed like the thing to do, but I did it without really thinking about it. So I was a little startled and confused by the way Gaara's body flinched against mine in reaction.

I pulled back just a tad, gazing curiously into his eyes, questioning why he had jerked. And then my actions came back to me, and I realized what I had nearly unconsciously done. My cheeks heated as I blushed bright red, my eyes widening in shock, surprised that something like that had happened without it being a conscious decision on my part.

I winced. "Sorry, that was probably gross. It was kind of a knee jerk reaction to the blood on your mouth." I apologized, blushing even brighter.

He blinked at me, wide-eyed for a moment. "No, it wasn't gross. It was just…interesting."

"Oh. Uh. Good. I guess." I mumbled, embarrassed and looking away. _And…que the awkward moment_.

Gaara seemed to get over his awkwardness a whole lot faster than I did. I chewed on my still dry and cracked lip, looking down, sort of in the center of Gaara's chest, my face still feeling hot. He sighed, the hand still in my hair gently tugging to get my attention.

I glanced up at him under my eyelashes and his lips quirked just a smidge. "You don't have to be embarrassed." He rumbled, his head ducking down to my lowered eye level so we were eye-to-eye.

I held his gaze with difficulty, my eyes trying to skitter off to the side constantly. "It's not exactly something I have control over." I grumbled sullenly, and I could feel a pout coming on.

He snorted quietly and I squinted at him, pursing my lips. He chuckled gently, low in his chest. "You're cute when you get embarrassed though, so I don't really mind." He rumbled, shocking me so much that my mouth opened with an audible pop.

I flushed red. _My cheeks had just started cooling down dammit, why did he have to go and say something like that_?

"You…what…with the…um…thanks?" I squeaked, my brain scrambled.

He grinned, a complete, full grin. And I was left staring, my eyes uncomprehending the rare sight. _Good god…why doesn't he smile more? He's so beautiful…._ My brain fritzed out and I simply gazed at the openly amused expression on his face with awe. It went away far too soon, shrinking back down to the tiny smirk that was more usual from him, although still pretty rare.

Gaara's eyes glittered with humor, and I eventually gathered my thoughts together enough to roll my eyes at him, a small smile curling my lips as the humor of the situation got through to me. I chuckled softly, amused at my silliness.

Gaara's lips twitched a little, the small smirk still in place as he watched me relax. I sighed, just drinking in his face so close to mine. I felt incredibly peaceful, even though my body was still somewhat aroused, and that was a tad frustrating, not to mention Kitty fussing at me in my head. His lips were still a little red, and a tender smile curled my lips. I hesitantly reached up to cup the side of his face with my hand, and then very gently reached my thumb across his chin, watching him and gauging his response as I lightly rested the finger on the corner of his mouth.

He blinked, the smirk on his mouth slowly disappearing as an expression of surprise and curiosity replaced the amusement.

He didn't seem at all upset by the gesture, so I very carefully rubbed my thumb across his lower lip, my goal to wipe away the red remains of my blood from his mouth. His lips parted as the digit gently skidded across the surface of his lower lip, and I could feel soft puffs of moist air as he drew in breath through his mouth. I flicked my eyes up from where they were concentrating on the task at hand and glanced at his eyes, checking to make sure Gaara wasn't uncomfortable or something. I was just so unused to being able to touch him like this, whenever I wanted, that I still found myself checking to make sure I wasn't crossing some line on his part.

It didn't seem like I had done anything wrong. In fact, it looked like Gaara was enjoying the caress, his eyes slightly hooded as he gazed at me with eyes that were gleaming. I finished wiping off the blood from his bottom lip, and so I switched directions and slid my thumb across his top lip once I reached the corner of his mouth. A stuttered breath whispered over my hand.

As I reached the center of his top lip I felt something wet tap the pad of my thumb from between his lips, and I gasped lightly, surprised that he had licked me. I paused, unsure if he was asking me to stop and glanced back up into his eyes questioningly. His eyes very nearly glared down into mine, not angry, just intense. I blinked, surprised at his mood shift.

Gaara had always had mercurial moods, but I was unused to them in this sort of situation.

He opened his mouth and his teeth gently captured my thumb. I gasped again, my eyes wide as I met his stare. He held my finger between his strong white teeth for a moment before his lips softly closed over it and the tip of my thumb was inside his warm wet mouth. Never having come into contact with this particular part of his anatomy, the inside of his mouth, I was startled by several things. For one, simply the amount of heat that the inside of his mouth possessed, it was mildly shocking to the thumb currently imprisoned in that heat. It never ceased to surprise me that he managed to maintain such a high body temperature when he didn't have a fever. The moisture wasn't surprising, considering the location, but it was another sensorial shock.

The slight pressure from his teeth released, and all I felt was the softness of his tongue as it slid over the tip of my finger. I wasn't expecting how silky a tongue would feel. The small taps of his tongue on my stomach and my finger before hadn't really given me enough of a feel to know that a tongue felt slippery, and yet smooth and silky at the same time. Of course he had licked my hand before, but that was in a battle situation and my concentration hadn't necessarily been focused on how it felt, so much as I was concerned about feeling teeth next. Plus, that had been Shukaku's tongue, and it had been considerably rougher.

I sucked in a breath, not really knowing why Gaara was suddenly so interested in my finger, enough to want to explore it with his mouth in such a peculiar manner, and I wasn't sure how to react. There was something strangely sensual in it, although perhaps my judgment was skewed since my body was still relatively excited from before. My stomach clenched again and I stared at Gaara, my eyes flicking back and forth between my finger disappearing into his mouth and his eyes.

He drew back, my finger slipping out of his mouth, and his hand came up to cup the back of my hand, his thumb hooking over mine to lock it in place as he tilted my hand back, gentle and mindful of my injuries. He dipped his head and his lips connected with the skin of my palm, gently kissing around the wound there and then traveling down to my wrist. His hot, silky tongue came out to flick against the pulse point in my wrist, his eyes on mine the whole time. I watched, almost mesmerized, unaware that my lips were parted and my eyes fully dilated, as his pink tongue lapped at my skin, sliding across the sensitive flesh there. I didn't know why he suddenly wanted to taste me like that, or what even brought on the thought.

It felt…strange, but good. The intense warmth and moisture were surprisingly pleasant, and somehow the fact that it was _Gaara's_ tongue made it into something very exciting. After a moment he drew back, his teeth lightly scraping across my skin as he went, making me shudder. The very slight pain had woken up my nerves in the oddest way.

He dropped my hand and wrist and his hand instead went back to cupping the back of my neck. Before I had time to process what was going on his lips had descended on mine again, and I gasped, nearly choking on my own saliva I inhaled so quickly.

He was more insistent than before, his lips pushing at mine and demanding a response. I yelped,

surprised, the noise muffled against his mouth, as I felt his teeth nip the delicate skin of my lips. _What's gotten into him?_

His other hand came up, his palms now bracketing my jaw and his thumbs bracing the sides of my face in front of my ears, and my eyes fluttered closed on a nearly unconscious groan. I began to feel a little dizzy, his mouth moving against mine more, his lips lightly sucking on mine sometimes, otherwise just moving against me. The kiss was wet, my mouth opening some to accommodate the increased movement involved in this kiss, our lips fully engaged with one another in a way that was more intense than ever before. My hands came up shakily, and my fingers looped through the grey belts at his waist, anchoring myself to him.

And then he softened, is mouth stilling a little as his lips parted more, allowing his tongue to very gently lick my bottom lip. It was just a brief, tiny, lick before the slick appendage retreated back into his mouth and he pulled back a little, his lips barely grazing my own as if to judge my response. I gasped, the sensation unexpected. It had been hot and wet and silky, just like before, but on my lips somehow it felt different, better, almost leaving my lips tingling. A soft sound escaped me, a note of surprise and a response to the sensation.

After a moment of leaving his lips barely touching my own, he groaned and pulled himself back. I was left panting and I opened my eyes, hazily finding Gaara's eyes and meeting his gaze. His pale stare was so intense, almost wild as he gritted his teeth.

"Gaara?" I questioned softly, wondering why he had stopped.

"Sorry, but we need to stop for now. I can feel myself…losing control, and I would hate to do anything that we might regret later on." He rasped, his voice low and rough.

I blinked, processing his words slowly, my brain still fuzzy after that kiss. _Does he mean that he wants to…?_ I could feel a slow flush creeping up my neck as I figured out what he meant. "…oh…" I almost breathlessly whispered, my eyes wide.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Sorry if the blood thing grossed anyone out. It was probably partly Shukaku when he licked her wound to clean the blood off.

* * *

 **Chapter 37**

A small quirk lifted a corner of his lips into an amused smirk. "Yes… ' _oh_ ' indeed."

I swallowed thickly. "Um, okay then." I said weakly, releasing my grip on his belts. He stepped away, letting his hands drop down to his sides, his eyes still pinned to me, an almost hungry, longing look in his gaze. It was pretty obvious he wanted to continue, based on the way he was eyeing me. I gulped, glancing away and my eyes picked up on the discarded towel, still stained with streaks of blood.

I glanced down, noting that the wounds had generally stopped bleeding, but that some were still oozing slowly and it probably would be best to go ahead and just bandage them all. Using it as an excuse to scurry around Gaara and duck into the bathroom, I retrieved some small bandages and started applying them to the wounds, cleaning the somewhat dried streaks now off my skin before applying them.

I finished my front and then carried a few out into the living area. "Hey Gaara? I hate to ask this, but would you mind putting these on the holes on my back? It's kind of difficult to reach, with these wounds in my shoulders. Twisting that much hurts."

Gaara's eyes immediately softened and his whole posture changed. Another mood shift. "Of course." He murmured, his voice mimicking his eyes and body, and becoming gentler, lacking that raspy rough edge from a moment before.

He walked over and I turned around so he could get to the wounds more easily. He took the bandages from me and very carefully applied them to the four wounds on my back.

"Thank you…" I softly murmured over my shoulder once he was done.

"You're welcome." He responded, his voice gentle and melodic.

His arms came around me, simply holding me, and I sighed, leaning back into him and turning my face to the side to lean against his chest. I hummed and reached up, my fingers playing with the leather strap across his chest. "So what happened to your white sash?" I questioned, realizing he hadn't worn it in a while.

"I retired it, in exchange for this leather harness."

I hummed. "Interesting. I'm gonna kind of miss it." I chuckled. "Remember the first time we spoke? I mean after the ten year gap. Your sash smacked me in the face."

I felt his deep chuckle in response. "Yes. I remember. It was quite amusing."

"You found it funny did you?" I snorted, unsurprised.

"Oh yes…" He rumbled, his voice a little deeper as he chuckled.

I sighed, thinking. After a long pause I questioned, curious, "So how often did you want to kill me in those first few weeks? Honestly? I mean I know I pissed you off a lot. You were always threatening to kill me back then." I scoffed remembering his old bad habit of saying he was going to kill anyone who got in his way, or pissed him off, or looked at him strangely, etc.

He snorted. "A lot."

"I'm not surprised. Actually, why didn't you ever try to kill me? I mean you were always threatening, but you never actually did attempt it. Well, you did slam me into a wall by my neck." I amended. "And you did want to fight in the Forest of Death. But aside from that…" I trailed off, laughing.

I felt a puff of air land on my neck from his amused exhalation. "You were too interesting for me to kill. You kept doing the exact opposite of what I expected, and I couldn't understand it. I got curious. And a little obsessed."

I had to laugh at that one. "Oh yeah. You were a total creepy stalker. Peeping on me in the woods, even spying on me while I slept. Geez, sometimes I wonder how _**I**_ managed not to kill _**you**_ _._ "

He chuckled sinisterly. "As if you could have."

I snorted.

"You did follow me that one time though." He continued in his normal voice.

"True. But that was payback for interrupting my training the day before." I pointed out.

"I suppose…" There was a long pause, but I sensed he was thinking about something. "By the way, what were you dreaming of? That one time before the exams."

I paused, trying to place what he meant. "Oh, you mean when I nearly fell out of the tree?"

"Yes."

I flushed a little. "Well, uh…you were in it."

"I know that. You said my name, remember? I asked you about it, and you said that I hadn't been trying to kill you, but I've never quite been able to believe that."

"Really? So you still thought you were doing something rude in my dream?"

"…I suppose murder would be considered rude…"

I snorted. "No, you really weren't trying to kill me." I paused, thinking back and trying to remember it, "Well, there was this one part…but it was all so confusing that it's hard to explain."

He sighed. "Try."

"You sure are inquisitive."

"I'm a very curious person by nature." He rumbled, nuzzling my shoulder.

"I think I'm starting to figure that out." I snorted, and then sighed, feeling the exhaustion from the day catching up with my muscles. "Alright, but come over here. I want to lie down…" I said while walking towards the bed.

The bed was literally a few steps away from where we were standing and Gaara mirrored my steps fluidly as I came up to it, keeping his arms around my waist. I clambered onto the bed, Gaara releasing me from his grasp as I flopped down on my stomach. Then I rolled onto my side, and looked over at him still standing next to the bed.

"Well? Do you want me to get a crick in my neck staring up at you? Come over here!" I demanded, patting the bed next to me.

He hesitated for a second, but then sat on the bed next to me, and there was a rustle of sand as his gourd dispersed, reforming on the other side of the room. I heard a few more sandy sorts of rustling sounds and I frowned, craning my neck to see what was causing the noise. I figured it out when I saw Gaara's boots floating over to join his gourd as he scooted back into the bed, crossing his legs and sitting next to me.

I snorted. He gave me an expectant look and I remembered I was supposed to tell him about my dream. "Alright," I began with a huff, "Did you want the play by play or just what you were doing in it?"

He blinked. "It would probably make more sense to get the whole story…" He murmured.

"True, I'm not even sure I could piecemeal it. Alight, let's see." I paused, thinking. "Well it started as my nightmares usual do, in darkness. I was afraid of something, I'm not really sure what. It's always so strange, but a lot of the time I don't even know what I'm running from…" I frowned, thinking about the oddity for a moment before dismissing it. "So I was running through these dark streets, nothing really specific, and then you popped up out of nowhere and grabbed my hand." I pointed at him and he blinked, his face watching me with rapt attention. "And the weird thing was, we were both younger, like when we first met. And then…" I struggled to remember. "Um…somehow we turned back into how old we were then? About fourteen I guess. Oh and we were running together, holding hands. And then…" I winced, definitely remembering the next part. "You left. Or disappeared or something. And I stopped running, just sort of…sitting down in the middle of the road and…I guess I was crying." I cringed, and noticed the way Gaara flinched a little.

"So is that why you said my name like a…plea? You were asking me to stay?" He asked, his non-brows scrunched together in dismay.

I sighed and reached up a hand, laying it on his cheek and thumbing out the wrinkles in his forehead. His face relaxed some, but not entirely, and his eyes closed briefly, his head leaning into my hand.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I talk in my sleep I guess, and that's really the only thing I remember that I might have said in that dream." Then I sighed and dropped my hand back to the bed.

"Was that the whole dream?"

"No…" I hesitated.

"What happened next?"

I sighed. "Well, I sat there in the street for a while, and then I felt like something was coming up from behind again, hunting me and so I stood, running again. And then there was the damn stupid glass of course. Fuck that goddam glass." I abruptly snarled, frowning.

Gaara startled, his head tilting a little. "What glass?"

"Oh. Sorry. I guess that wouldn't have made much sense to you huh? It's just, I have this reoccurring element in my nightmares. Well, actually I have lots of reoccurring elements in my nightmares, but this one in particular has been with me forever. A lot of the times, in my nightmares, there's broken glass. And it always hurts." I frowned, and then thinking about it for a second, I mused, "You know, I think I might have mentioned that, a while ago when we were talking about my dreams in the tent on that mission."

He nodded, and then frowned, looking disturbed. "Wait. You can feel pain in your dreams?"

"I don't really have dreams Gaara. Well, very rarely at least. As I've said before, mostly I just have nightmares. But yes, I can feel pain in my dreams."

He blinked, a little surprised. "I was under the impression that you couldn't really feel anything physically in a dream."

"Oh no. You can feel plenty. I mean, sometimes you don't, but then sometimes you feel more in a dream than you would in real life." I sighed. "So yeah. Glass. Fuck it. I'm so sick of it. After dreaming about it every other night, getting shredded loses its appeal you know?"

I groaned and rolled onto my back, my head tilted a little to the side so I could stare up at Gaara's expression. He looked vaguely horrified. "Feel better about not sleeping?" I inquired snidely.

He looked down at me, meeting my eyes. "Yes actually. A little."

I snorted.

"So what happened? In the dream?" He continued, looking intrigued, if disturbed.

"Well, like I said, there was glass. I kept tripping as I was running down the road and every time I did, I landed on that glass." I sighed. "And then…I discovered that I was running from you, and that I was actually afraid of you."

"So I was trying to kill you…" He said flatly.

"No, I don't think so. I think it was actually more of a metaphor. My stupid mind telling me that I wasn't dealing well with all the emotions that…uh…popped up after seeing you. I think I was frightened more of myself, and how I felt about you, than of you, but that's just how it came out in the nightmare." I tried to explain, having dealt with these stupid dreams for long enough to know that they usually meant something.

He blinked. "You were frightened of your emotions?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely. I'd never had a crush before, so it was a little overwhelming. Add onto that all my baggage and you've got yourself a bomb." I snorted, figuring that it didn't matter if I told him I'd had a crush on him, since we were sort of in a relationship now.

He paused, and his eyes grew wide. "You had a crush? On me? Then?"

"Yeah…" I chuckled. "I mean, think about it. I still had all those feelings and memories from our childhood, the ones you didn't have access to at the time. So those feelings, plus seeing you after so long, added up to a crush. Not to mention that you had grown up. Well, not grown up, but we were both pubescent teenagers, and I thought you were pretty cute." I laughed, thinking back. "Actually, I remember thinking that the years had been good to you, to make you so attractive, and yet I wondered what in the hell had happened to ruin your attitude. It was a pretty confusing situation."

Gaara looked amazed, shocked, awed, and thoroughly confused.

"What?" I asked, confused by the look he was giving me.

"I just can't figure out how you could have found me attractive…" He muttered, his eyes wide and glassy.

I snorted. "Well, your _attitude_ wasn't attractive. Although you did have that whole ' _strong, evil, silent type'_ thing going for you I suppose. And you were a badass, well you still are, but with the whole evil vibe it was a little different. I mean, I wasn't necessarily attracted to those things...I don't think…" I thought about it for a second, considering. "Well, maybe I was a little. I don't know. I found your evil chuckle pretty damn sexy…" I pondered, almost thinking out loud. "Of course your bossiness drove me up the wall. But, really, you're still pretty bossy, and I still like you, so maybe I am a little attracted to dominant guys…who knows…" I continued, still mostly unaware of what I was saying, just sort of mumbling to myself. "And then of course, you are attractive, physically I mean."

"I am?" He asked, blinking. He looked completely overwhelmed, and I guess I could understand that. I wasn't even sure how much of what I had just been thinking I had said aloud, but if I had said half the things I was thinking, he must have just gotten an earful. I flushed a little, trying not to think about what I might have just unintentionally divulged.

"Yeah. Haven't we already had this conversation? You know, the red hair, the pale green blue eyes, the exotic no-eyebrow thing you've got going on, and strangely it works for you. I still don't know how you manage to pull that one off. And then, you know, handsome face…" I gestured. "I mean even the kanji on your forehead is attractive. It sort of gives you an edge, in a weird way. But anyway…" I trailed off suddenly embarrassed at waxing poetic about Gaara's features in front of him.

"So you really find me attractive?" He said weakly, still sounding like he couldn't believe it. I didn't know why he was having such a hard time grasping the concept.

"Yes Gaara. You. Are. Very. Attractive." I said firmly, wanting him to just accept it, so we could move on.

He just blinked at me…wide eyed.

I sighed. "Look. Would I have kissed you the way I did, if I didn't find you attractive?" I pointed out.

"I suppose…" He mumbled, looking dazed.

I snapped my fingers in front of his face. "Earth to Gaara, hello? Anybody in there? Please don't tell me I have to go to the council and tell them I broke the new Kazekage…"

He snorted, his eyes growing amused and the confusion somewhat dispersing, which was a relief. "No. You didn't break me."

"Okay good. What were we talking about before we got on this topic?" I asked.

"Your dream."

"Oh. Do we really have to talk about that?"

"We don't have to…but I would like to know how it ended…"

"Alright fine." I sighed. "Where was I…?"

"I was chasing you."

"Oh yeah. That's how we got into that strange conversation. So yeah, you were chasing me, and then I think you cornered me somehow. I don't really remember that part. Strangely though, I wasn't really afraid of you at that point. And then, if I hadn't fallen out of the tree, I'm pretty sure you would have kissed me, or at least that's what it seemed like you might be planning on doing in the dream. You were leaning in."

He blinked. "Really? You dreamt that I was going to kiss you?"

"Well, I think so."

And then there was a long pause. "So you still have nightmares almost every night?"

"Yep."

"That's awful."

"Yep." And then my jaw cracked in a huge yawn.

"You're tired. I should let you sleep." Gaara said softly, and made as if to stand up, but paused when I reached out my hand and touched his knee. His eyes swiveled back to meet mine questioningly.

"You can stay…" I whispered, and then blushed when his eyes widened. "Uh, I mean…if you want to."

His unblinking gaze flicked over to the pillows at the headboard and then back to me. After a long pause he said, somewhat softly, "Alright."

I grinned a little, happy that he wasn't leaving, and sat up. "I'll be right back, hold on."

I scooted into the bathroom, and quickly got ready for bed, brushing my teeth and all that jazz. Then I speedily changed into my night clothes, taking off my pants and breast band, then putting on a rather loose t-shirt that went down to my upper thighs.

After doing all that faster than I had done before, not really wanting to risk Gaara changing his mind about staying, I hustled back out into the room. Why I was so eager to have Gaara spend the night, I wasn't sure. As I walked out into the room, I stalled in my approach of the bed as Gaara's eyes nailed me. His gaze went from my face to slowly travel down my body. Suddenly I was a little self-conscious. I hadn't really thought about what I was wearing, just putting on my typical night clothes, but as I glanced down to the purple t-shirt that was falling off one shoulder, I noticed that the curve of my breasts were visible underneath it since I had unbound them, and then I glanced down to see my bare legs underneath it.

Suddenly I felt very naked.

I blushed a little, but decided to ignore the embarrassment, just trying to play it cool. I walked over to the bed and said, "Off," as I waved my hands at Gaara in a shooing motion. I watched in amusement as his eyes widened just a smidge and a confused expression flashed briefly across his face. "Off the bed for a second." I clarified, grinning.

He smoothly slid off the bed and stood beside it, watching me as I walked around to the opposite side. I grabbed the side of the bedspread, which was all bunched up randomly in the center of the bed, and yanked, giving it a good tug and then flipping it up into the air with a twist of my wrists. Simultaneously, I summoned a little wind to blow beneath it, holding it aloft as I shook it out so that it was all spread out and no longer all folded and bunched up. I was such an active sleeper with my nightmares that I often ended up with a bundle of covers as a nest that I had to crawl out of in the morning, so I had devised this method to most quickly straiten them back out when I was ready to go to bed at night.

After a second I released the wind and slapped the covers back down on the bed, mostly strait. I ignored the fact that the whole process had most likely exposed my underwear for a second, since as the wind came from behind me I had felt my shirt lift up a little.

"There we go." I said, smiling.

I flipped the covers down on one side and slid under them, grabbing one of my many pillows and stuffing it under my head. I had so many pillows because it created something of a barrier that I hoped would help prevent me from punching the wall or headboard in my sleep.

I looked over to see Gaara standing next to the bed, his arms crossed and looking down at me with an unreadable expression. I sighed, figuring that he was feeling awkward, and sat up. I reached over and flipped the covers down on the side closest to him in an obvious invitation. He glanced at the bed, which was open and welcoming now, and then looked back to me, as if he was asking permission to get beneath the covers. I didn't see the big deal, we had slept together before. Well, he had done whatever it was that he did at night, while I slept. Of course he had been on top of the covers then.

 _Well, maybe he doesn't sleep under covers._

I cocked my head to the side. "Which way do you prefer?" I asked, flipping the covers back up and then down to clarify what I meant. "I mean do you typically get under the covers when you…meditate or whatever it is that you do?"

He blinked. "I've done both."

I nodded. "Well, whatever's most comfortable for you. I mean I don't care if you want to get under the covers with me, but if it's more comfortable for you to be on top that's fine too." I shrugged, being matter-of-fact about it all. I may be shy when it came to sex and shit like that, but as I grew more comfortable with Gaara and our new relationship, I was finding that this sort of thing, just being with him, was growing easier.

He nodded and started unbuckling all those belts and leather straps on the harness that he now wore over his coat. I watched him for a minute before asking, "So, all those are to hold up your gourd?"

He nodded. "Yes. Except for these." He unbuckled and pulled off the belts around his hips. "They're more to balance it."

"Huh. Seems like a whole lot of trouble." I noted.

He shrugged as he finished unbuckling everything and pulled the whole harness off. "I suppose."

I snorted, thinking of something. "Hey you know, your gourd kind of reminds me of that old raccoon legend, now that I think about it. Especially since Shukaku is supposed to be a racco…..ooooon." I finished on a yawn.

Gaara's lips twitched as he watched me yawn again, rubbing my watery eyes afterwards. "Which legend is that?" He inquired, unbuttoning the high collar of his coat, before unzipping it.

"Oh you know…the one about Tanuki and how they have testicles so big they have to carry them around on their back."

He blinked. "I've never heard of it." He looked mildly offended.

"Oh come on, it's funny. Your gourd sort of has that rounded, vaguely testicular shape. And Shukaku is a raccoon." I pointed out, and then laughed at Gaara's scrunchy unamused expression.

After a moment of the sour looking face, it slowly changed into a smirk.

"Now stop it with the inappropriate thoughts Gaara. You're making me blush." I drawled. I could tell he had something going through his head that he would never say out loud, from the way his eyes glittered and the slightly dirty smirk on his face. Frankly I found it amusing. And sexy. But I was too tired for sexy.

He snorted at my comment, the expression remaining firmly on his face as he finished taking off his coat, leaving him in a snug black long sleeve shirt and black pants, which also had those grey belts strapped around his thighs. He easily took those straps off too. Then he slid under the covers, and despite being matter-of-factly about it before, my heart skipped a beat.

I blushed just a little and lay down on my back, looking up at the ceiling. _Well damn._ "I forgot to turn off the lights." I sighed and moved to sit up, getting ready to go do just that.

Gaara's hand stopped me, when it gently landed, palm down, on my stomach, lightly applying pressure to suggest I lay back down. "I got it…" He said softly. He lifted the other hand and lazily flicked a few fingers, his sand slithering through the air to switch off all the lights, leaving us in darkness, the only light coming in dimly from the curtains over the window above my bed.

"Huh. Nifty." I mumbled, laying back down, his hand still on my waist. I put my hand over his, enjoying the warm weight of it on my stomach, even if it did irritate my wounds just a tad.

I slowly drifted off to sleep like that, too exhausted to stay awake even if I had wanted to. "Good night." I muttered sleepily.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Okay so...Gaara was being intentionally dense about the needles. He probably knew, deep down, right off the bat that they went all the way through, but he simply didn't want to believe it. So, he's not a dumbass, he just was in denial. And Gaara has to deal with the fact that he's her Kazekage and sent her on a mission where she got hurt. It had to happen eventually.

But anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the character development and the advancement of their physical relationship. As I've said before, they're gonna be taking it slow. I figured either they get so out of control that they go strait into it, and then Ren would freak out and that would ruin everything, or they took it slow. I went with the second option. :3


	65. Burn With Me: Chapter 38

My mind decided to be very weird and I found myself in the midst of an extremely strange dream. It was dark, and I was surrounded by shadowy forms, many people around me but none of them very visible. I could hear muttered, indistinct talking, and derisive laughter. Anxiety rose up inside my chest, making me feel suffocated, and I almost felt claustrophobic, unsure of just how many people were crammed into this space with me.

And then a hand reached out and grasped mine, and I gasped, startled, and a little afraid. I was pulled into a chest, and at first I struggled to break free, but as the scent of warm sand began to filter through my senses I calmed, recognizing Gaara.

His warm palms cupped my face and drew me in to a kiss, his lips meeting mine almost aggressively. I gasped at the unexpected display of affection around so many other people, even if we couldn't see them. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue between my teeth, and even in the dream I reacted. A soft groan worked out of my chest, and I relaxed into the kiss somewhat.

I was distracted by the sound of voices, much louder this time, and obviously scornful in their tonality. Harsh laughter cracked through the darkness and I whimpered, unable to disengage from Gaara's lips for some reason. I was thoroughly confused, utterly disturbed, and it seemed the harder I tried to get away from the kiss, the more intense the kiss became, and the less I wanted to disengage. But there was still the matter of all those people…

I woke gasping, a choked sound coming from my throat. I shuddered, whimpering, still halfway caught in the foggy dream. While it hadn't been one of my usual night terrors, it had been disturbing, and I found myself struggling in that weird half-awake way to distinguish the dream from reality.

"Shh. You're okay." I heard a whisper softly, and something caressed the side of my face, a hand I dimly realized. I felt something soft brush across my parted lips and then over my eyelids, barely-there kisses that helped me wake out of the dream more and come to realize that Gaara was there with me, comforting me. These kisses were so utterly different from that strange, disturbing kiss in the dream and the stark change helped me to distinguish between dream and reality.

I sighed, the breath shuddering as it left my chest. Despite being mostly conscious now, I still couldn't keep the trembles from raking my frame, and a pair of warm arms came around me, gathering me to a much warmer torso. I rolled onto my side, assisted by the hand on my hip, and curled into Gaara, burying my face in his throat and inhaling his scent, allowing the smell of hot sand and spices to lull me back into a restful state, the trembles slowly easing from my muscles.

I drifted back into sleep.

I woke sometime later in the night, before the sun rose, the room still dark, to find myself curled around Gaara, my head on his chest, my arm draped over his torso, and my legs wrapped around one of his. I was too tired to be embarrassed about it and just drifted back off to sleep after a quizzical moment, lulled back asleep almost instantly by the deep, nearly inaudible, gentle rumble that was purring under my ear. I was too sleepy to really know what it was, or to really care to know, all that mattered to me was that it was lovely. I sighed, content and snuggled more firmly into him.

The next morning I woke to find that Gaara had already left. I sighed, a bit disappointed, and got out of bed and readying myself for the day. Over breakfast I thought about what to do today, and eventually decided to go to the training grounds.

Once there, I ran into Temari, and saw her using that pirate weasel of hers that she could summon. They were training together, and I watched for a while, intrigued _. You know, having a summons might be nice._ They served a dual function of being a companion as well as a helper, in both battle and other things. Maybe I was feeling just a bit lonely after having woken up alone. Not to mention I had found out that the twins had been called away on another mission.

A bird summons might be convenient. It would certainly make sending messages easier. Although, Naruto summoned toads, and I think I had heard somewhere that toads were known to be decent messengers. And Kakashi used dogs, if I remembered correctly, and they had seemed to do just fine with delivering messages.

 _ **Now you listen here Kitten…**_ Kitty interrupted my train of thought. She didn't seem to appreciate my bird idea and instead recommended a cat. At which point she told me about a clan of Ninja Cats she had been in control of before, and was considered as their goddess. _**They'd probably be very happy to make a blood contract with you as my vessel.**_

Intrigued, I decided to pose it as a question to Gaara, or rather; I decided to make a formal request to go on my own mission, as it were. So I headed off to the Kazekage tower. Once there, I headed up to Gaara's office. The guards didn't even bother questioning me. I suppose they knew I was a friend of his. Or maybe they even knew we were in a relationship now, I wasn't sure just how busy the gossip mill had been working.

I knocked on the office door.

I heard his deep, voice say, "Come in," in that slightly melodic tone of his that meant he was very calm, or possibly distracted. He was probably in the middle of some major paperwork, as usual.

I walked in.

He blinked a bit surprised. "Lord Kazekage…" I greeted him, smirking just a little as I did.

He snorted. "Yes. Indeed. How may I help you Ren?"

"Well you see…" and I launched into the details of my new idea.

He listened intently, and after I had pitched him the idea, he steepled his fingers and thought about it for a second. "I don't believe there are any pressing missions at the moment, so you should be free to go on this personal mission of yours. However, I would caution you to be careful."

I grinned, and glanced behind me to make sure the door was shut and we weren't being watched, before I scooted forward very quickly, and gave him a very quick peck on the lips, returning to my previous position within seconds with my Telaria Jutsu, leaving Gaara looking dazed and confused for a moment.

I bowed formally, giving him a cheeky grin. "Thank you, Lord Gaara."

"…umhm." He hummed in a distracted manner, his eyes watching me as I left.

I followed Kitty's directions and went to the place she described, which actually turned out to be a good ways away. It turned out to be what looked like some sort of fortress on an island, and it looked pretty damn impressive.

"Halt human! You may go no further. Meow."

I stopped, as two ninja cat guards pointed long spears at me. They were pretty good sized cats. On their hind paws they easily reached mid-chest on me. How in the heck did these cats get so big? But then again, Naruto had summoned a pretty dang big toad, so I shouldn't be that surprised.

 _Okay, now what?_

 _ **Let me handle this one.**_

I felt a spark in my chakra network as Kitty got more active, and I felt that prickly sensation in my eyes as they shifted, and suddenly all the shadows brightened. I was glad it was evening now, otherwise this would have been very uncomfortable.

" **Let us pass."** Kitty said through my mouth, which felt incredibly strange. Her deep, feminine voice was distinctly feline, and growled with the order.

The two guards' eyes popped open wide and they dropped their spears onto the ground as they knelt before me. "We are so sorry Neko Kami Ryutsuki! Please forgive us!"

Kitty released my chakra and I sighed. "She has forgiven you. Although she's still a little cranky. Perhaps you should take us to your leader. We have business to discuss." I said in my normal voice.

 _ **His name is Nekomata.**_

"She says his name is Nekomata." I repeated, to let them know she was actively still there.

"Of course! This way!" One of the guards gestured with a paw and made to escort me, while the other stayed to watch the gate.

 _So…your name is Ryutsuki huh?_

 _ **Yes…**_ She sniffed haughtily.

 _I like it. Dragon Moon. Very appropriate._

I felt her grin toothily, pleased by the praise.

We walked in silence for a moment and then the male tabby almost timidly asked, "What is your name human? Meow. You are very special to be the vessel of the Holy One, and should be known to us all. Meow."

"My name is Ren." I responded.

"Ren. That is a good name. Meow." He purred.

"Thank you." I said, surprised.

We walked through some impressive courtyards and hallways and eventually made it to a very large chamber, at the end of which was a veil. Behind the veil I could see the massive shape of what had to be the biggest cat I had ever seen, or even heard of. It was easily as big as that monster toad Naruto had summoned.

"What is this? A Human? Meow." An intense deep, raspy growl bellowed throughout the large space.

"I'm guessing that's Nekomata?" I asked pleasantly to the tabby.

"…yes…meow." He said very softly and then zipped out of the room.

The veil slowly rose to show a massive white tom cat, covered in various scars, with black tufts on his ears. "Who are you human? Meow. And how dare you come into my space? Any last words? Meow?"

"Cocky aren't you?" I said boldly, unconcerned.

"WHAT?!" He bellowed, standing up from the pillow he had been reclining on, and showed his full height, which was very impressive indeed.

Kitty snorted. _**You have no fear at all. Unless, it's about Gaara, then you're a dainty little mouse.**_

 _Shut it._

"I have come to propose a contract." I said.

"A contract? Meow? It's very difficult to uphold a contract with someone who's _dead_. And aside from that, I don't do contracts with humans. _Meow._ " He hissed, seriously ticked off, if just a tad intrigued and amused.

I activated my night vision, letting my eyes shift into blue and red. "But I'm not exactly human."

He paused, taking in my glowing eyes. "Meow. Are you the vessel to Neko Kami Ryutsuki?"

" **Yes,"** we purred, our voices in sync and creating an odd echo sound.

Nekomata padded over to me on all fours, and the closer he got, the more I realized just how big this cat was. On all fours, his shoulder was twice as tall as I was. He lowered his huge head and got eye to eye with me. "I see. Meow. Well that changes things. What is your name?"

"Ren." I said, staring into his frightening face. He was truly a terrifying creature, absolutely massive, and fierce looking, with a scar over each eye. But at the same time he was also quite majestic, and rather beautiful in a very deadly, rough way.

"Ren. Very well. Meow. I will make a contract with you. One of my clan will answer your summons at any given time, simply think of the need and the best suited will come to you. Meow. Should you ever need me, just think my name when summoning, and I will come to you. Meow. For she is the lord of all cats, and therefore you are to be respected as her vessel. Meow. You are no longer human in our eyes, but are cat!"

He raised his head and looked off to the side. "MANA GET YOUR TAIL IN HERE. MEOW! I NEED A CONTRACT DRAWN UP."

A small, hassled looking grey cat scampered in. "Yes master, what kind of contract do you need? Meow."

"A summoning contract. Meow." Nekomata said with finality.

"Meow!? Say what now?" The black cat startled.

"You heard me. Meow."

"…Meow. Unfortunately sir, I can't do that, because I do not have the ability to draw out the proper jutsu. Meow. You will need Mau for that."

"Then go get her! MEOW!" Nekomata bellowed, hissing.

"Yes sir! Meow! Right away!" And grey kitty scampered off.

Soon a black cat sauntered in. This one had a purple striped tail and purple paws, and her eyes were a strange almost neon green, glowing in the dim light of the room. "You called? Meow?" She purred, her tail swirling in the air.

"Mau, I need a summoning contract drawn up. Meow."

"You're making a summoning contract? Meow? With a human?" She asked, looking at me offended.

I narrowed my eyes at here and once again activated my night vision.

Her eyes widened. "Meow! Oh I see." She padded over to me, looked up at me, and then disappeared in a puff of purple smoke to reappear on my head a moment later. I could feel her slight weight as she balanced on my head and then her face came down and she got nose to nose with me, peering into my blue/red eyes. "Fascinating. Meow! What is your name?"

"Ren." I said, a little nonplussed about the strange feline. Kitty was laughing hysterically in my head.

"Ren." She repeated and then turned back to Nekomata who was grumbling to himself. "I like her. Meow. If I may, I would like to mark her. Even without a summons I can assist her. Meow. And then I will draw up the contract."

Nekomata sighed. "Make it quick." I got the feeling that there was something special about this kitty-hat on my head, to have Nekomata putting up with her shenanigans.

I peered up as I felt some movement on the top of my head, and from the tiny bit that I could see, I was surprised to note her paws moving in what looked to be some sort of jutsu hand signs. And then one of her paws smacked me in the center of my forehead. I yelped as what felt like a spark shot between her pad and the skin of my forehead.

I flinched and her weight disappeared off my head, bright yellow smoke wafting down over my face. It smelled oddly like an herbal smoke, warm fur, and a little like fish. Kinda weird, but strangely pleasant at the same time. She reappeared on the ground in a puff of white smoke with sparks crackling and popping around her, with a scroll in her mouth. She unrolled it and said, "Here is your contract. Meow. Just put your own blood on the tips of your fingers and then press them here."

I nodded and made a shallow cut on the palm of one hand, smearing each fingertip of the other hand into the blood and then pressed them where she directed.

"There. That should do it. Meow." She rolled up the scroll and put her paw on it. It disappeared with a faintly purple poof. "Now. Meow, seeing that it is night, and you are obviously a Sand Ninja, I will show you to a room where you can rest till the morning." She glanced at Nekomata for approval and he nodded.

"Follow me. Meow." She purred and then slinked away out of the room.

"Thank you. I look forward to working with you." I said to the great white tom before leaving.

"Yes. Meow. As do I." He growled and then went back behind his veil.

I turned and followed the small black cat out and down the hall. She led me to a plush room. It had a very thick and fluffy looking rug in place of a bed, in front of a warm fireplace.

"Here is your room. Meow. If you need anything, I will know and attend. Goodnight." She disappeared in a poof.

I found the room to be quite comfortable, only slightly thrown for a loop by the large litterbox instead of a toilet. But really, that was no different from using the sand dunes on a mission, so I simply used my kit for that, glad that I had restocked my toilet paper. But the rug was thickly padded, and just as good, if not better than a bed, and it was quite warm, so I easily fell asleep.

The next day I returned to Suna. Once home, of course I immediately went to the Kazekage tower to give my report, and walked strait into chaos. "What the hell is going on here?!"

"One of our outposts had been attacked by a band pf rogue ninja. We think it's the Akatsuki!"

"The who?"

No one was paying any attention to me, so I carefully made my way up to the Kazekage office to see if I could figure this out. As soon as I walked in Baki saw me and barked, "Ren! Perfect. You will also be part of the forward team."

"Say what now?" I blinked.

I noticed Baki, Temari, Kankuro, and several other ninja's that I didn't know. "Baki will abridge you of the situation on the way." Lord Kazekage ordered in his best business tone.

I turned to Gaara. "Okay…"

We were off before I knew what had hit me. On the way out of the village I sidled up to Temari. "So, what exactly are we doing?"

"We have to go and take out a large group of rogue ninjas that have attacked one of our outposts. We don't know why they decided to attack, or what their purpose is, but it sounds bad. Gaara will be leading up the secondary team."

"Wait. Gaara?! As in the Kazekage himself is going to lead the secondary team?"

She gave me a look. "You know Gaara."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah. I did. And Gaara had turned into one of the most protective people I knew, despite the way he had been before. He really cared about his people. And he was willing to put everything into protecting them.

He was one bad-ass mother hen.

"So exactly how bad is this? I mean for Gaara to be coming down, and for all that chaos, it must be really, really bad."

"Oh yeah." Temari muttered, and her tone of voice did nothing for my peace of mind.

"Sheesh. Maybe I'm going to get to use my new jutsu sooner than I expected." I muttered.

It took us the rest of the day to get within range, so by the time we were approaching the outpost, dusk was falling and the light was fading. Which was perfect for me, not so much for everyone else, although as ninjas everyone had finely tuned senses of course.

The closer we got, the louder the sounds of a battle gone horribly wrong reached our ears. I could hear screaming and yelling and smell blood even from this distance. As we came within range, Baki halted us and we approached more stealthily.

As we got a look at the mayhem and chaos, my gut lurched. This was wrong. This wasn't just _bad_ , this was absolute horror. Whoever these guys were, they were pretty damn powerful, based on the amount of damage they had caused. One whole side of the outpost had been blown to smithereens. The rest was partially in flame, and everyone posted there was outside fighting. There was a good sized number of rogue ninja, and it looked like they were kicking our ninja's asses. I could see quite a few injured, or possibly dead, Sand Ninja littering the battlefield.

Baki signaled and we all took off in different directions, heading around in two main groups to squeeze the enemy from both sides. Once in position the signal was sounded and we all engaged, our goal at this point to simply beat back the enemy enough to gather our wounded. It was crazy bad. Temari and Kankuro were beside me while Baki and his team attacked from the other side. All three of Kankuro's puppets came out to play and he took the side nearest to the actual outpost.

"Kankuro, fortify the line!" Temari bellowed, and Kankuro nodded.

He quickly took up position and managed to bolster the flagging and very disjointed, line of fighting ninja still in front of the outpost. I could see Baki doing the same on the other side. Now with our line solid once again, it was up to Temari, me, and the other team to drive back the enemy, away from the outpost, while Baki and Kankuro held our backs and kept the defense strong.

I nodded to Temari and she took midfield while I took the furthest point. Which meant I got all the freshest enemy, but she got the thickest amount. Over all it was pretty equal.

 _You ready Kitty?_

 _ **Hell yeah. Let's play with some prey!**_

I grinned, ready to dish out a lesson to whoever thought they could attack Suna. _Assholes._ I snarled and used my Telaria Jutsu to dash into the battle ground, staking out a nice sized piece of land to work with, far enough away from my comrades to not have to worry about injuring them but surrounded by plenty of enemies.

I activated my night vision and slid both swords out of my sheaths to start with, wrapping them in my Wind Sword Jutsu. The air answered my call with a hiss as it rushed to me, swirling around me and then wrapping tightly around the two short blades in my hands, lengthening them. I compressed it, tighter and tighter, and so fast that the air began to howl in my hands.

The enemy hesitated for a moment as they watched the spectacle. That was their mistake.

I crossed the swords in front of me, and then slashed out with a battle cry, releasing that tightly wound wind outwards in two arcs of sharp destructive gale-force wind. Both arcs caught a good few of the enemy and sent them flying, many of them landing on their comrades, and taking them down as well.

That scared off some, and enraged others. The strongest of the enemy I was facing came at me now with a purpose, while those that knew they couldn't take me ran off. _Good riddance._

I suddenly found myself in a tight situation, many enemies coming at me at once, all of them strong, on all sides, surrounding me. One came at me with an ax from the front. I blocked his downwards slash with one of my swords while I twisted and used my second sword to impale a second enemy coming up from behind with a kunai knife.

I yanked my sword out of the dead enemy behind me and brought it forward, slashing the blood misted Wind Sword through the hilt of the ax in front, then used my first sword to kill him. _Two down, 20 to go._ Or maybe more, it was hard to count while trying to avoid being killed.

Another three came at me, a fourth and fifth close behind. The two in front of me I used my Telaria Jutsu to meet them instead of waiting for them to get to me, which foiled the plan of the other one behind me. I met one of them with a sword in the gut, pulling it out quickly and kicking him to the ground while I leapt over his body, twisting midair to get sideways and did a barrel roll over the next enemy, slashing out with one sword to get him lethally across the back of his neck. I continued my momentum, and as I had planned my feet were in perfect position to clamp on the neck of another enemy.

I called forth a gust of wind to help, making myself spin the last few feet more violently, and successfully snapping his neck. I landed on an elbow and knee, quickly thrusting myself to my feet again. The next attack came from an earth chakra user. I suddenly found the ground beneath me opening up to drag me down to my neck.

 _Kitty!_

 _ **On it, Kitten!**_

A surge of her chakra crackled through my network. I hissed as the spikes erupted from my spine and my spine extended into my tail. As the enemy approached, I wasted no time in charging up the end of my tail with lightning. I sent a strong burst of Kitty's and my chakra laced with lightning out through the ground, fracturing it into cracks that I could easily summon wind through. My wind rushed in through the cracks and then at my control, it lifted, the cracked ground shoved away from me, and I used the opportunity to jump free. My opponent, and a good number of the other enemy were knocked to the ground from the mini earthquake. I flipped through the air and sent out a spinning wind blade from my Wind Sword Jutsu, which promptly dealt with Earthboy. _So how many down and how many to go now?_

 _Why are there so many of these guys? What do they want? What's their purpose?_ I took it upon myself to find out, because not knowing was pissing me off. So the next guy I met in battle, a mere second after the last one, I leapt on, driving the butt of my sword into his gut and kneeing him in the nuts, then elbowed him down to the ground. I crouched over him and set up a wind barrier to keep out the other enemies.

"What is your purpose here?" I growled into his ear.

He coughed and groaned. "Go to hell, bitch."

I sighed. "Look. I can let you go and you can leave this battlefield intact, if you run away now that is. If you refuse to answer me, I will hurt you. And eventually I _will_ kill you. But you will want to die long before you are dead. Of course, you can prevent that from happening, by just telling me why the hell all these rogue ninja randomly decided to converge on this spot." I calmly explained to him.

He shuddered. "Okay look. I don't really know what's going on. None of us do. All I know is that the word was put out to show up here, and attack the outpost. We were supposed to kill everyone, and burn the building to the ground. That's all I know."

"By ' _the word was put out'_ what exactly do you mean? Are you all part of the same gang?"

"We were all paid. It's a job."

"I see. And who paid you?"

"The Narazumono. They said it was in retribution, and now the debt has been repaid."

I blinked. _Okaaaay._ So apparently they were ticked off that we had taken our artifact back. What a bunch of sour pusses. Of course, we did cause quite a lot of damage on the way out, so that might have had something to do with it. I guess someone must have noticed our headbands, aside from the torturer, since I took care of him. _Well, shit._

But since they said the debt was repaid, I guess this was all they planned on doing. I'd have to let Gaara know what I found out.

"Very well. You may go. Tell whoever pays you that the debt had better be repaid, because we won't tolerate another attack like this."

"Understood." He mumbled, his eyes wide. _Huh, I guess I scared him more than I thought._

I let him go and he took off running, right off the battlefield and into the woods. _Smart guy._ As soon as I let my wind barrier drop, multiple enemies came at me again. _Geez, how many of these fuckers did they sick on us?_ I mean, seriously, it had just been three of us against all of them, what did they consider equal retribution? Fifty rogue ninja? 70? 100? I mean, it was kind of flattering in an odd way, but still, they were completely nuts. Obviously.

So once again, I found myself fighting for my life, stabbing enemies left and right, throwing gusts of wind around, smacking people with my tail and electrocuting them for good measure, grumbling and growling, and cussing, and just being sort of a bitch in general because I was getting pissed off and tired.

One guy came up behind me and managed to somehow get me in a chokehold, stepping on my tail with his big rubber boot that seemed to be impervious to lightning. Him stepping on my tail hurt like a bitch and I yowled like a cat, a zing of pain shooting up my spine from the crunched appendage and very nearly paralyzing me for a second. And then things got worse, because another guy came at me from the front with a really nasty looking jagged knife. I yelped and managed to dodge his thrust, so that instead of it burying itself into my gut, it slipped by my side, giving me a nice little cut, but nothing fatal.

I got the feeling that the dude in front got the guy behind me, because he grunted, but it must not have been that bad, because he held firm. These two must be a hired team, because they were working together better than the other bozos that had come at me. Thankfully, Temari happened to see my problem, because suddenly that scythe riding weasel summons of hers came rocketing by, taking out the guy in front of me. The shock made guy number two loosen his grip enough that I was able to wiggle loose a little and throw an elbow back into his gut.

He grunted and let go completely, but still stood on my tail, which pissed me off very badly, so I turned in the limited amount of space my trapped tail allowed me, and my Wind Claws came out, sliding into his chest like a hot knife through butter. He gasped, gurgled, choked, and then fell over, much to my poor tail's relief. I whipped it out from beneath him, hissing.

At that point I heard a very distinctive scream. I glanced over and was graced with the opportunity to repay the favor from earlier, because now it was Temari that had gotten in trouble. She had four or five guys boxing her in, and someone had thrown what looked like some sort of chain around her, trapping her fan to her body. I arched my tail, landing it on my shoulder and took aim, loading a nice big lightning ball that crackled in the open spearhead on the end of my tail.

I flinched at the zing of electricity, especially when it burned over the injured portion of my tail. I charged it up and then let her rip, sending a big ol' ball of burning, deadly, lightning chakra hurtling right at the cluster of guys. Two of them were fried and sent flying, the rest scattered, letting Temari free herself. The lightening ball passed her harmlessly and took out a few more enemies on its path of destruction before it fizzled out.

When I glanced back up to the safety line, I could see Kankuro in a tight spot as well. Even Baki looked like he was having trouble. We had taken down at least half of the enemy, but we were all starting to get tired, most of us having just come back from missions, and there were still plenty of enemy left. It didn't help that the ones that _were_ left were all the toughest ones to kill.

Seriously, these guys had overdone this retribution thing big time.

I growled. I could feel my strength waning, and had already used up a bunch of chakra. As I looked out to the enemy still left, I knew we were going to start losing some more of our company, unless someone did something big, really fast.

 _Okay. Time to test the waters. Oops, wrong metaphor._

I put my up a wind barrier, seeing more enemies coming, and started the complicated hand signs necessary for my summons. "Nekomata, I need you." I hissed, feeling someone seriously testing my barrier.

There was a brief silence, and then suddenly a crack of what sounded like thunder. I gasped as suddenly I found the ground under me not there anymore. I looked down and saw white fur, and found myself riding on the neck of a massive white tom cat. His head was as long as I was, if anything he was even bigger than I remembered.

"You called? Meow?" Then he paused. "Well, looky here. Lots of playthings."

"Yeah, just not the ones wearing the Sand headbands, they are my allies."

"If you say so, meow."

There was a hush on the battlefield as everyone took in the sudden arrival of such a massive creature. And then ninjas began to scatter. I grinned ferally as Nekomata leapt into the fray, tossing pawfuls of the enemy every which way. The tides quickly turned, and soon the enemy ninja were fleeing the battle in droves.

Suddenly, the battle was won, because Gaara had arrived. There was nothing left to do, because the sand streamed onto the field and captured the remaining enemy in its grasp. I saw the sand start coming towards Nekomata, since Gaara probably didn't recognize him, and so I leapt off his back and waved my arms in the air. The sand stalled, a few inches from my face, forming what looked like talons.

 _Eep. That was a little close._ The sand softened and dropped to the ground.

"I'm out of here, meow. This giant litter box is too weird for me." And Nekomata went poof.

The soft sand continued on, swirling gently around my feet as it searched around for enemies. I sighed, groaned, and sat down in the sand. I was tired. And a little beat up. I had managed to make it out of the fight without any major injuries, but I did have that nice cut on my side, a good assortment of bruises, and a few other cuts here and there from various types of weapons. I twisted and checked my side, that one being the deepest cut. _Well, I'm gonna have to buy a new shirt, that's for sure._ I inspected the bloody gash in my shirt with a sigh. _Damn, I'm running out of shirts. Again._ Sighing again I lifted the shirt and took a look at the cut. _Lovely._ Must have hit a vein because it was pretty darn bloody. It was times like these that I was especially grateful to Kitty and her extra healing abilities she gave me. This cut could have been a bit of a problem otherwise.

"Woohoo, youch. That's a nasty one. You okay?"

I glanced up at the brash tone. "Hey there Kankuro. You look awfully pretty yourself. Who got close enough to give you that black eye?"

"Oh some idiot, dunno. Probably ended up in the black ant." He shrugged dismissively.

I snorted. "Not surprised. How's Temari?"

"Oh she's fine. Got a nasty chain burn on one of her arms, but aside from that she's pretty good."

"That's good to hear. Geez, these guys were tough." I groaned.

"Yeah. Man, I wonder what they were up to?"

"That reminds me, I need to go talk to Gaara. I got some information out of one of them." Kankuro nodded and I jogged off to find him.

"Hey Gaara! Erp, I mean Lord Kazekage, may I speak with you?" I asked as I finally found him.

He turned, and I saw his eyes do a once over to check for injuries, pausing at the bloody gash in my shirt. He nodded in response to my question, and I proceeded to tell him what I had found out. He nodded again, gave me one of his tiny smiles, and said, "Thank you Ren. I will let the council know."

I nodded and went off about my business, knowing he was super busy at the moment.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

More ninja stuff! And yay! Nekomata is in the mix now. Gotta love that big white gangsta tom. :3

BTW, Ren doesn't like to kill. She might enjoy fighting, and Kitty certainly enjoys fighting, but she kills just because she has to to protect the village. I figured I'd make that clear.


	66. Burn With Me: Chapter 39

The next month or so was very busy, many missions coming in for me to take, and very little time to spend with Gaara. He was likewise very busy with his duties. Within that time, we perhaps got to go on one or two more dates, shared maybe one or two more kisses, but nothing more than that, and it was starting to get frustrating. Being unable to be around Gaara was driving me up the wall, across the ceiling, and down the other wall.

Finally, it got to the point that I brought it up with him during one of the rare moments we had together. We were currently sitting on his couch in his Kazekage apartment above his office in the Kazekage tower.

I had returned from a mission, a little beat up, but not too bad, and gave him my report.

"The bandits were kind of irritating, but I took care of them easily enough. So yeah, that about covers it…" I yawned and stretched the sore muscles in my back.

It was pretty damn late, and I had given my report in his office, so it was less formal than the more important missions I had gone on, like the one with that artifact. But for regular missions, reports were typically given in his office and not in the presence of the council. And right now, I was very glad about that because I was simply too tired to deal with their special brand of bullshit.

He eyed me, taking in my dusty clothes and the various minor bumps and bruises visible, and my obvious exhaustion. He closed the book he had been writing in, probably some record of reports or something, and stood from the chair behind his desk. He walked towards me and then passed me, heading towards the door and leaving me staring confusedly at his back.

"Come. You look exhausted." He beckoned for me to follow him.

I blinked, a little surprised and followed him out the door, noting the way the guards' eyes followed us as we headed up the stairs towards his chambers. I glanced back to see that they were smirking just a tad and muttering to each other, probably something about the Kazekage getting some tonight. I flushed at that thought, and hurried up the stairs and out of view.

Once inside his apartments, he sighed and stretched, similarly to the way I had done previously and then undid something on his harness that dropped his gourd to the ground with a thunk, which is where he left it. Then he turned to look at me. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes sliding up and then down my body, before returning to my eyes.

"Would you like to use my shower?" He inquired, as if it was perfectly normal.

I blinked, just a tad surprised. Well, I had used his shower twice when he was still living with his siblings, so I supposed this wasn't anything different. I nodded and he gestured towards the bathroom door. "Help yourself, there are towels in there, and I'll find you something clean to wear."

I flushed, for some reason the casual way he was accepting me into his personal space was incredibly touching…and also kind of sexy in a very odd way. But then I was finding, as we progressed in our relationship, that I found just about everything involving Gaara sexy, and that was one admission that I still hadn't quite come to terms with yet.

I grinned awkwardly and took him up on his offer, walking into the bathroom and closing the door with a grateful, "Thanks. Holy Crap! This bathroom is huge!"

I heard a snort come from outside the door at my loud exclamation, which I ignored. I gaped at the humongousness of his bathroom, having forgotten just how big it was. There was a very large sunken tub taking up one whole corner of the room, a large, glass, walk-in shower sort of thing along the wall, and a counter on the other side of the room with a mirror and two sinks and plenty of counter space in between. _What does he need two sinks for? Oh, it's probably for Kazekage that are married._ I thought, and then blushed a little.

I located a towel, putting it on a little wooden bench I had found and scooted it up next to the shower. And then I shed my clothes, stepping into the shower and trying to figure out what nobs to use. There were too many fucking nobs, so I just started messing with them. I yelped as a huge rain showerhead imbedded in the ceiling turned on, dousing me in freezing water. I squealed, unable to get out from beneath the freezing spray and fiddling with it to figure out how in the hell to turn it off again, having forgotten from the shock of the cold water which nob in the lineup I had turned to begin with. I managed to turn on a couple more shower heads, one from the wall and a detachable one that was on the ground.

The detachable shower head had a long metal tail going up and attached in the wall, where some sort of holder was located. But obviously it wasn't in the holder. It was loose on the ground and started skittering across the sandstone tile from the water pulsing out of it, spraying my ankles in cold spastic spirts. Eventually, after running through the entire gambit of cusswords in my arsenal I managed to get them all shut off, except for one very persistent mister that came out from several small points in the wall, slowly filling the shower with mist. I had no fucking clue how I had managed to activate that one.

I stepped out of the shower, grabbed the towel, which was thankfully quite large and easily tucked up under my armpits, and went all the way down to mid-thigh. I wrapped myself firmly, tucking in the edges and stomped over to the door of the bathroom, opening it rather dramatically.

"Gaara! Why does your shower have so many nobs?!" I growled. Loudly.

He turned to look at me, in the middle of looking through his dresser, probably for clothes that would fit me, and then he paused, his non-brows raising slightly as a small smirk appeared on his lips. I would imagine that my dripping wet, goose-bumpy, shivering, towel-swaddled, pissed off appearance was probably quite amusing.

He calmly walked over and entered the bathroom, opening the shower and going inside. I followed, grumbling underneath my breath. "This one goes to that. This to that. This to that. …" And so forth and so on, pointing first to the knob and then to the shower head. He was slowly getting a little soggy as the mister continued to work. He patiently showed me how to work the damn thing, all while his hair slowly darkened from vibrant scarlet to a dark crimson and started to drip into his eyes.

"And what about the mister that's making you all wet? How do you turn that off?" I inquired, amused that he hadn't turned it off yet.

He paused. "I have no clue."

I snorted. "Well, I'll fiddle with it some more and see what I can do."

"Yes. Please do." He stepped out of the shower, and exited the bathroom.

I successfully turned on the shower, deciding to experiment with the rain shower since I had never really played with one of those before, and thanks to Gaara's tutelage, I was able to make it nice and hot. Soon the glass had completely fogged up from the humidity. It was quite lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed it, up until the door to the bathroom opened, shocking the hell out of me.

"Gaara!?" I yelped, very nearly slipping and falling on my butt as my feet landed back on the ground from my little jump of surprise.

"I'll put the clothes on the counter over here." His voice said, and I could vaguely see his fuzzy shape through the fogged up glass. I walked over and wiped away a little window so I could look out at him, giving him a good stern glare. I wasn't too concerned about him seeing me naked, since the glass was so fogged up I could barely see him aside from just the shadow of his shape, but it was the principle if the thing.

"Alright. Thanks. But seriously, you can't just walk in here while I'm taking a shower." I said sternly, peering out of the small window I had made.

He walked over and I mildly panicked, concerned about the fact that I could see a little more of him the closer he got, and figuring it would be the same for me. He stopped a few feet away. "The glass is fogged up. And since the water had been running for a while, I assumed it would be." He pointed out.

"But what if I had been taking a cold shower?" I inquired.

"Given the reaction to the coldness of the water before I highly doubt that would be the case."

I sighed. "Okay. Fine. You've got me there." I retreated from the glass, the little window fogged up anyway, and I went back to showering while I talked to him, debating the ethics of walking in on someone showering.

"But still. I mean I'm naked here. It's kind of…embarrassing for you to walk in like that. Even if you can't see me. Although, you can probably see my outline through the glass. And that's a little disconcerting."

"Why?" He inquired and I glanced over to his foggy form, his red hair still very visible even through the fog.

"Why what? Why do I find you in here while I'm taking a shower disconcerting?"

"Hm." Typical Gaara answer, the less syllables the better.

"Because I'm naked in here!" I barked, stomping one foot for emphasis, and then realized maybe that hadn't been a good idea when I almost slipped again.

There was a long pause as he thought about that one. "I suppose I see your point."

I sighed. "Oh well, whatever." I finished up showering, the whole conversation having taken the same amount of time it had taken me to finish, since I had already been pretty far along when he had walked in. "I'm done anyway. Could you hand me the towel?"

"How?" Came his slightly husky voice.

"Just stick your arm in here, but keep your head out." I shrugged, not particularly concerned about his peeking.

The door opened and his arm stuck through, holding the towel. I took it, noting that his arm didn't appear to be clothed. I shut the door and toweled off briskly, and then wrapped the towel around me like before.

I opened the door and exited the shower, and then very nearly dropped the towel when I took in Gaara's state of undress. My wide eyes stared at his bare chest for a long moment, stunned. Sure I had seen him in his fishnet shirt, and I had seen him in bandages, and even naked across a dimly lit cave, but the only other time I had seen his upper body fully naked and up close and personal like this, I had been in no state to pay attention, since I had been busy fighting the urge to jump him. His arms were crossed, in that typical Gaara pose, the muscles in his arms very visible and more impressive than I would have thought given his still lean frame. He was still very slim, as he had always been, not bulky, but the muscles were well defined and were actually larger than I would have expected. Not to mention his muscular stomach, the ridges very defined and leading my gaze downwards as I noted the v of muscle at his hips. I also noted that the top button of his pants was undone, and then I immediately looked away from his hip area because of the bulge there that made me think maybe he had thought a little too hard about me being naked on the other side of the glass. I blushed bright red and hustled over to the neat pile of clothes on the counter.

I felt hot, and not just from the blush, but also from the sight of his naked torso and …well maybe he had a scroll in his pocket or something. I blushed even harder if possible from thinking about it. _I mean really, had just being in the same room with me in the shower done that?_ If so, I was kind of flattered. _After all, that means he thinks I'm sexy right?_ Of course this whole situation was opening up a new can of worms in my head, one that I had been skirting around for a while.

I was distracted from my thoughts by Gaara saying, "I'm going to take a shower now. If you're done."

"Oh yeah, sure I'll just be out here…" I said, scooting past him and out the door.

I quickly dressed in the clothes he had given me, another of his black outfits from so long ago. I couldn't help but wonder if he had continued to hold on to them for this long with the thought that I might need something to wear. It was even snugger across my breasts this time around, but it worked.

I hung out in the bedroom, since the bathroom was adjacent to that, and flopped down on his bed, decompressing from that little excursion into the land of physical attraction. I mean, sure we had kissed, and he had kissed all my wounds on that one occasion, and we had held hands, and that one time he stayed over I was pretty sure he held me while I was asleep, vaguely remembering waking up from a nightmare to something like that, but I hadn't really been prepared to witness the evidence of his physical attraction for me. Really, I hadn't even thought about the fact that yes, he was a guy, and guys got hard-ons. I was so used to separating those two concepts in my head from the days before I had allowed myself to be in love with him, before our relationship, and I guess I had forgotten to readjust my view of him after we had gotten into a relationship. The idea of Gaara being…excited like that was so foreign in my mind, that it was actually making me a little nervous. I was so used to not thinking about it, that being forced to think about it woke up some of those old fears. I forcefully pushed them back down, not about to go and do all that shit again.

Of course the idea of him… and _that…_ was also very exciting, sending anxious jitters of awareness and tension along my senses. I was interrupted from my slightly disturbing and arousing train of thoughts by the bathroom door opening. I glanced up, took in the sight of him in just a towel, little drips of water skating down his muscular torso and groaned, my head falling back down onto the bed. _Yeah, so not helping me right now, Gaara._

"Do you have to be…you know…naked? It's very…uh… _distracting_ …" I muttered, flopping my arm over my eyes as I lay there on the bed, trying to cool down my cheeks through force of will alone. The other physical reaction that I was having was even worse than the uncomfortable heat in my cheeks, a certain moisture that was starting to get…kind of icky.

And then he chuckled. That low, deep, gravelly chuckle that scraped across my already heightened senses with all the subtlety of sandpaper, making everything so much warmer, and stickier, and more uncomfortable than it already was. Yes, I already knew that I found that particular chuckle attractive, but when I was already worked up, I suddenly found that it made me react in ways that I was quickly thinking I needed to rectify with a tissue.

Stunned, by both my reaction to the sound and the fact that he had had the audacity to chuckle at my discomfort to begin with I leaned up on my elbows to give him a shocked and amused glare. "Did you just laugh? Really?!"

Another chuckled rumbled out of his chest, making me shudder and wish that I had brought a fresh pair of underwear. If only I had known I was going to be in this predicament.

"And you think me being in the bathroom with you in the shower talking to me was any less… _distracting_?" He drawled, putting emphasis on the word ' _distracting,_ ' obviously turning it into something else.

I gaped at him, completely shocked by the fact that he was openly admitting his arousal from earlier. _Aren't guys supposed to be embarrassed by that sort of thing?_ His eyes slid over to me and he walked across the room, his eyes watching me from the corner of his eyes before he focused on finding some clothes in his dresser for himself, a smirk gracing his lips.

He was awfully smirky tonight.

"So was this your intention when you asked me to come up to your room tonight? To get me all hot and bothered?" I asked sourly, not really thinking about what it was I was saying, just sort of thinking aloud and grumbling.

A small burst of laughter escaped him and my mouth popped open. I didn't think I had ever heard him laugh before. _Have I?_

"No. That wasn't my intention." He responded to my previous question, as he drew out a wad of clothing from a dresser drawer. "It was just a happy accident."

"…a happy accident?" I yelped, stunned that he was equating me getting sexually frustrated with ' _happy accident.'_

He snorted, seeming highly amused by the whole thing, and then said, "I'm going to change now."

"Say wha…oh shit." I yelped, smacking both hands over my eyes and flopping back onto the bed as he started to take off his towel. I listened to the rustling cloth and tried very hard to breathe normally. "Come on, Gaara…" I groaned, feeling like he was just doing this shit on purpose now. _Who knew the new Kazekage could be such a damn tease?_

After a moment of rustling, I felt the bed dip and felt his weight come up the bed to sit next to me. I took my hands off my face and glared balefully up at his still smirky face. "That was unnecessary. Just so you know."

"Would you have preferred I just drop the towel without warning?" He inquired innocently, and my eyes widened at the thought. Oh hell no, I was having enough problems as it was.

"Um. No…well...maybe…wait, no."

He snorted again and leaned on his arm, staring lazily down at my sullen face. And he was still half naked! My eyes traced down his torso and I sighed.

"Really?" I grumbled. His lips widened a little in that smirk that was already there, and now I knew for sure he was doing it on purpose. "You like this don't you? Messing with me."

He didn't say anything, but the glitter in his eyes gave him away.

I groaned and put my arm back over my eyes, blocking out the sight of him being all sexy and irritating. "Okay smart ass, if getting me frustrated and uncomfortable wasn't your intention then why did you invite me up here? I mean was there a particular reason?"

There was a long pause. "No. I just missed you."

The irritation immediately melted away and my arm came off my eyes. _Okay, so he may be a tease, but he's a sweet tease._ I looked at him, keeping my gaze on his face through force of will, and gave him a small smile. "Missed you too. It's been so freaking busy lately that we've been barely able to spend any time together at all. Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Is there any way you can think of, that would help in this ridiculous situation of ours? I mean, I know you have your Kazekage duties, and I have my missions, but there has to be some way…" I trailed off hopefully.

"I've been thinking about the same thing recently. I think I may have come up with a way…but I don't know if it's something you'd be willing to do." He glanced away, looking a little unsure.

I sat up, intrigued. Any way to get us more time together was all right in my book. "Whatever it is, if it gets us more time together, then I'm willing. What's your idea?"

He took a deep breath. "Some Kage have a personal guard, one or more ninja that are highly skilled, and capable of assisting the Kage in the case of any assassination attempt, and are always with them. Such a person would not go on any missions aside from assisting the Kage. If there was something top secret, such as a top secret message, they might take that, or arrange for it to be delivered, but otherwise they are always at the Kage's side. It helps if their fighting style complements the Kage's as well…"

I immediately saw where he was going with this, and frankly I thought it was a fantastic idea. There was nothing I'd rather do than be by his side and watch his back. Since he was Kazekage now, there would no doubt be many attempts on his life, and I was confident enough in my abilities that I knew I could do a good job.

The idea was so fantastic in fact, that it immediately filled me with excitement and I abruptly went from halfway sitting up, to sitting ramrod straight and vibrating with energy. I turned fully towards him on the bed, getting on my knees and leaning forward eagerly, apparently startling him, given the way he blinked and stopped talking.

"So your suggestion is that I become your personal body guard, right?" I inquired, making sure that I understood him correctly, not wanting to get too hasty and make myself look like an idiot.

He slowly nodded, eyeing me warily, probably concerned that I was angry, since my posture could be mistaken as potentially aggressive.

There was a reason that it looked aggressive, and that was because, in a way, it was. I dug my toes into the mattress and pounced, lunging onto him, toppling him over from his cross-legged sitting position on the bed. We flopped onto the mattress together, him underneath me as I landed on top of him. His legs somehow uncrossed and one of my legs fell in between his as I plopped down on top of him, forcing a huff out of his chest. I quickly propped myself up on my elbows so I wouldn't smush him too much and stared down into his slightly wide-eyed expression.

I scooted up his body just a smidge so I could go eye to eye with him and I felt him inhale quickly and shift slightly beneath me as I dragged my body across his. I ignored that tidbit of knowledge for now and bracketed his face with my hands, spearing my fingers into his hair.

"What took you so long to come up with this idea? You brilliant, brilliant man." I said, my voice coming out a little higher than usual with excitement.

Several things flashed across his face, almost too quickly for me to identify, confusion, realization, relief, wonder, excitement, joy, and affection. His lips spread into one of those incredibly rare smiles, small but beautiful and tender and excited all at once.

"Does that mean yes?" He asked, his voice also a smidge higher than usual, almost melodic.

"No. It means hell yeah! And of course…duh! What would make you think it would be anything else? I already told you, anything that lets me be around you is always going to be a yes."

He snorted. "You can't just say yes?"

"Nope." I popped the 'p' with my lips.

He chuckled, and I felt the low rumble vibrate in my chest, which immediately made me realize just exactly what position I had got us into. I sucked in a deep breath and sat up onto my knees, still straddling his leg.

He sat up too, following me, which essentially put me in his lap, facing him. He reached up and grabbed my face gently between both hands, similar to the way I had just done to him, and came in close, his nose brushing mine.

"I'll write up the paperwork tomorrow to make it official…" He murmured, his breath whispering against my lips.

I shivered, and before I could respond, not that I really knew what to say, his lips were on mine, kissing me with enthusiasm. I gasped at the immediate assault, his lips skipping the soft hesitant way we usually started and going straight into the more open mouthed kisses. This kiss immediately involved a whole lot of that secret alphabet, as I had come to think of the strange movements our lips made against each other, opening and closing our lips together, forming what felt like a lot of vowel shapes, particularly O and U, with our lips, and maybe consonants like M, W, B, and maybe F.

Not that it sounded much like talking, all that could be heard were some odd, moist sounding skin against skin sounds and some smacking, which really, probably would sound a little gross if I wasn't the one participating in making the sounds. But as it was, I was too engrossed in what was going on to pay much attention to that sort of inconsequential nonsense.

The kiss was so abrupt and intense that it stole my breath, leaving me gasping into Gaara's mouth, which he didn't seem to mind too much.

One of his hands left my face and he wrapped the one arm around my waist, pulling me to him more firmly. There was still a little space between our bodies though, since one of my knees was trapped in between his legs, and I wasn't about to shove my knee into his crotch to gain those extra inches, so I had enough space to get my hands between us.

My fingers brushed his stomach accidentally. I was actually aiming to get my hands up so I could put my fingers in his hair, but the shiver that went through him made me pause. Of course my brain was sufficiently fuzzy that these sorts of thoughts were half-baked and more instinctual reactions than thought-out plans of action. Instead of just slipping my hands and arms up between us, like I had originally intended, my palms rested on his stomach instead, absorbing the sensation of his hot skin on my palms and the gasp against my lips.

My mind, the little that was left of it, was split between my lips and my hands, making it difficult to concentrate on either one. Not that my concentration was all there to begin with, since Gaara had successfully managed to knock all of my higher cognitive functions down to a minimum within 30 seconds flat. However, I was still able to appreciate the insane warmth coming from his skin and the wonder of being able to explore this new uncharted territory of Gaara.

After a moment, I slowly started to move my hands, letting them pretty much do what they wanted, unable to really consciously direct them anywhere specific, and simply took in the sensations bombarding me, the intensity of the kiss, the strong band around my waist that was his arm, his hand gripping my side, his other hand delicately cupping the side of my face, and my hands mapping out his stomach. My hands slid up his belly, bumping over the ridges of hard muscle like a stone skipping across the water, taking in the feel of his hot skin over his abdominal muscles, and then the smaller muscles on his ribs, and finally up to his pectorals.

The image of his gorgeous bare torso had already been seared into my mind's eye and being able to touch his skin only made him more beautiful to me. I decided right then and there that he was perfect, just the right amount of sleek, lean muscle to be sensual, perfectly balanced and not looking like a bulky badger. I found that I could probably spend a very long time admiring him hands-on like this, just exploring all the little dips and ridges and planes with my fingertips. But the fierceness of his kisses demanded more of my attention at the moment and so my hands obeyed the desire to travel up his chest, over his hard collarbones, up the tense expanse of tendons and muscles in his neck and into his hair where they burrowed, grabbing hold and anchoring him to me.

And so we kissed, time stopping for both of us as we simply became absorbed within one another. The world ceased to exist as far as I knew, my whole attention focused on the motions of my lips with his, my breath fighting with his for oxygen in the small space between our mouths, within the heat and moisture of the kiss.

It was getting to be too much, too intense, and so I pulled away with a whimper, gasping for much needed air. Apparently, he didn't need as much air as I did, because he went straight from my lips to my neck, his lips caressing and exploring all the sensitive skin that he could possibly reach in this position. All those nerve endings came vibrantly alive, and my gasping suddenly seemed like a futile effort, given the way his lips seemed to steal my breath even when his mouth wasn't on mine.

The only thing I could do was let his hand bury itself into my hair, as I tilted my head back, exposing more of my neck for him to taste. I sighed and relaxed, allowing his hand to support my head as the sensation of his warm lips on that delicate skin sent pleasurable shivers through me. I enjoyed the feeling of his mouth on my vulnerable throat, and there was something about his lips pausing over my pounding pulse point that sent a thrill through my senses, my instincts and Kitty's warring with each other. Her more animal instincts told me that letting another powerful creature near such a delicate part of my body was very dangerous, and the thrill heightened the experience for me, confidant in the knowledge that there wasn't anything to be afraid of.

Gaara seemed to disagree with that, and wanted to prove it when his teeth scraped right over my pulse, making me yelp. My eyes popped open on a gasp and I flinched, my body jerking from the unexpected sensation, and I briefly fought to raise my head. Animal instincts shot through me and told me 'DANGER,' and my body suddenly wanted to lower my chin, to not have my throat exposed like this anymore. Apparently a different set of instincts had fired off in his brain, because a low growl rumbled from his throat at my sudden struggles, and the hand in my hair tightened, pulling my head back even further, tilting my chin up more and making the full expanse of my neck vulnerable to him. I whimpered, the embarrassing sound not even registering in my foggy brain.

And then his teeth clamped down on my neck, shocking the hell out of me and making my body jerk against his as I recoiled. It was the most confusing sensation in the world. On the one hand, it hurt a little, his teeth not exactly comfortable where they were pressing somewhat harshly into my throat, almost setting off a cough and/or gag reflex. And of course there was that instinct that told me I was in deep shit and almost made me panic, working mostly on the primal level of my brain at the moment. On the other hand, it didn't hurt _that_ much, and wherever it was that he had managed to bite me was surprisingly sensitive, the pressure actually feeling good in a very strange and dangerous kind of way. And then there was another instinct coming to the surface, the dominance of the act demanding that I submit to him. It felt as though he had claimed me in some very base, animal sort of way, and I suddenly had the fuzzy thought that Shukaku had probably taken over Gaara at the moment, making him do just that. Claim me.

I experienced an extremely confusing moment, in which I jerked against the hand controlling my head and the teeth gripping my throat, which only seemed to make him bite down harder and growl against me. A whine made its way out of my chest and my body did an abrupt mercurial shift, arching into him instead of away from him, my neck falling back into his hand and presenting my throat to him in an act of trust, the secondary instinct breaking through the first and taking over my body. A shuddering sigh made its way out of me and my eyes rolled back into my head as I allowed him full access to the part of my body that was most vulnerable to my health.

Something that sounded like a purr vibrated sensually against my skin, his teeth relaxing the hold a bit, just resting there for a few more moments to make sure that I was committed to my action, and then releasing me entirely, his lips caressing my skin soothingly where he had bitten almost in apology, and then his tongue stroked over the still throbbing marks where his teeth had pressed against my flesh. The normally silky appendage felt almost rough and cat-like against me and I gasped, my suspicions confirmed about the identity of the person at my throat.

A shock of fear ran through my system as I realized Shukaku had somehow gotten lose, and yet that thought was dim in my mind, my instincts nearly overwhelming my mind, as his rough tongue scraped over all those delicate nerves in my neck, lighting all my senses on fire and making me feel like I was in a heat wave. It felt like the bedroom had suddenly turned into the desert at high noon and the sun was baking me alive.

I moaned as his lips and tongue mapped out my neck, and then his teeth bit into the base of my throat, just a brief nip, but enough that I could feel the sharpness of his normally blunt teeth, sending a violent shiver down my spine. He licked the mark and moved to the side of my neck, biting even more harshly into the junction of my neck and shoulder, and then closing his lips over the sharp pressure, sucking. I yelped, flinching from the sting, and then arched into his mouth. His teeth and the suction hurt just a little, but strangely the little pain intensified the pleasure. I was going to have one hell of a hicky when he was done. He lingered there for a moment and then released me and moved up my neck, nipping me again on the side of my neck and then underneath my jaw bone. I panted, my mind a puddle of unusable goo as his lips skirted over my jaw and then my head was tilted back down so his mouth could seal over mine again.

My eyes opened briefly, my unfocused gaze seeing his black and gold eyes for a split second before they shifted back into pale jade. It appeared that he hadn't noticed the brief shift in drivers, and that was fine with me, because I wasn't inclined to stop at the moment. My eyes drifted back closed as his mouth resumed its previous kisses, our lips pushing against each other, at first his caresses as fierce as before, but then gentling, almost growing timid. And then the shocking sensation of his silky wet tongue tapping against the seam of my lips made me gasp, and the tip of his tongue slid just inside my lips, gliding along the sensitive inside of my lip. The shock of it made a very odd sort of moaned choking sound escape from between my teeth, caught between confusion and surprise.

I wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, why his tongue was against my lips, almost as if it wanted inside my mouth. That couldn't possibly be what he wanted. It just seemed…too strange, and downright unsanitary. His tongue withdrew after a moment, and then his teeth nipped at my lip as if in a reprimand. _Oh come on Gaara…_

His kisses grew rough again, almost frustrated, and he pulled me to him more forcefully. His hand came out of my hair and reached down to my knee, still between his thighs, and hooked his fingers underneath it. And then in one fluid movement he sat back onto his heels and pulled my knee up and over his leg. I gasped and my fingers dug into his shoulders for stabilization as my balance was upset, and I was jerked forward by both his hand on my knee and his arm behind my back. And then he tilted back a little as his legs unfolded from beneath him, lengthening and changing into a cross-legged sitting position while I hung onto his shoulders to keep myself steady through the bumpy ride. Somehow our lips mostly remained in contact with one another during the position change, although a few times our teeth clicked together from the shifting around.

I came to rest in the space created by his tightly crossed legs, mine folded on either side of his hips and thighs, our torsos pressing flush against each other now. I became fuzzily aware that my unbound breasts were softly conforming to the hardness of his chest, and I figure that it was a good thing, because it probably wouldn't have been as comfortable if they were tightly constricted.

His arm slowly unwrapped from around me as we continued to kiss, his hand down my back and across to my hip. His other hand traveled up my thigh and both his hands were on my hips, and then stroking up my sides. I moaned into the kiss, the feeling of his hands sliding up and down my sides sending shivers through me. My hands released their death-grip on his shoulders and relaxed. I smoothed my palms up and down the expanse of his shoulders, feeling the muscle connecting his neck and shoulder, bumping across the hard point of his collarbone, and feeling the place in his shoulder where it shifted into the hard muscle of his upper arm.

And then his kiss changed again, gentling just a little, becoming smoother and more fluid, less hurried and frustrated. His lips gently coaxed mine, parting a little bit more, lightly suggesting that mine did the same to match his. I tentatively followed his lead, his mouth tilting against mine just a little and fitting our mouths together more. And then his tongue was slipping in between my teeth, before I realized what he was doing. _Sneaky little…!_

I yelped into the kiss, which came out all muffled and funny sounding, but he didn't seem to pay much attention. My first thoughts were ' _What the hell?'_ and of course feeling that this was very strange and awkward and kind of gross and what the fuck was he doing? And then the feeling of his tongue in my mouth kind of took up all my attention. At first it felt so very foreign, very wet, slippery, kind of crowding my own tongue which curled up and out of the way, and another muffled sound came out, not a protest so much as it was an expression of my confusion.

His damn curiosity was out of control, and that tongue of his started mapping out my mouth. I jerked and barked a laugh when it stroked against the roof of my mouth, the sensation so sensitive that it tickled. In fact it was such an intense sensation that my tongue immediately tried to shove his out of my mouth. And that opened up a whole new mess of interesting sensations. The feeling of my tongue sliding under his was something I would have never suspected. It was…slippery, but almost silky in the strangest way, and the heat from his mouth was so much more intense, the way his lips still rested on mine, our mouths opened to each other now, it changed the whole kiss.

At the first touch of our tongues we both yelped, the sounds escaping us and received by the other's mouth. And then for a brief moment Gaara jerked back in shock, his wide eyes meeting mine for a split second before his mouth pressed against mine again insistently.

I gasped into the kiss, my mouth opening hesitantly for him this time, not sure I entirely liked this new tongue thing, but the sensation was so fascinating I decided to give it another try. This time it was different, his lips moving against mine as usual, but his tongue coming into play as well, slipping inside and then retreating from my mouth, slowly stroking against my own tongue as his lips stroked mine. If I had thought kissing was addictive before, now I found it utterly intoxicating. The warmth, our humid breaths, the softness of his lips against mine, and the silkiness and wetness of our tongues stroking together combined in such a way that had me dizzy. I moaned into the kiss, and a growl from him answered me, making me gasp into his mouth.

My hands slid up his neck and into his hair, my nails raking against his scalp as I grabbed, pulling him closer. His deep moan reverberated inside my own mouth.

I realized, somewhat foggily, that his tongue was doing all the work, and driven by a desire to participate fully in the kiss, the next time his tongue slipped inside my mouth I met him with my own, sliding it alongside and underneath his. My greeting got an immediate response from him, and as my tongue actively participated, mimicking his movements, his hands grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him even more firmly, nestling my hips against his.

And then everything stopped as we both gasped at the new contact. The position led to the juncture of my thighs coming into contact with a very…active and awake part of his anatomy, that same bulge that had freaked me out a little earlier. Three things happened simultaneously, I would imagine for both of us. One, I was shocked by coming into contact with that part of his anatomy for the first time, the rigid length pretty damn impossible to ignore with the way it was pressing against me. Two, I was shocked by him coming into contact with a certain part of my anatomy, one that was currently throbbing and very sensitive, and also wet to the point of discomfort. Three, it was _that_ part of _his_ anatomy that was in contact with _that_ part of _my_ anatomy, and it shocked the hell out of me.

The kiss was broken, both of us jerking back, the contact too sudden and neither of us ready quite yet. The shock of pleasure to my system was so great that it had shorted out all my circuits, leaving me dazed and confused. It seemed it had done the same thing to him, judging by the way his wide eyes were glassily meeting mine.

I scooted off his lap, and sat cross-legged in front of him, and we both sat there and stared at each other, shocked by just how far that had gotten. After a moment of blank silence a nervous giggle burst out of me, and I slapped a hand over my mouth, surprised by the unexpected sound. My expression, and the fact that I had just giggled to begin with, set Gaara off and he started chuckling, and after a second I joined him. The awkwardness and shock of the situation diffused a little, both of us relaxing and taking in the state the other was left in.

Gaara's hair was messier than usual, sticking up in all directions from my fingers running through it, his face was a little flushed, and I was a bit embarrassed to note that there were some little marks on his shoulders from where I had dug my fingernails into his skin. That wasn't the worst part though, as my gaze dipped, I noted that he was still, uh, hard, and my gaze shot away, but not before I saw something even more embarrassing.

I blushed bright red, and wanted to hide under the bed, because the dark material was noticeably darker and damp in the front, which I would assume was my fault. I hadn't worn the underwear that I had been wearing before my shower, opting instead to go commando under the loose black pants Gaara had given me to wear, but that was turning out to be a sore lack in judgement on my part, because the damn moisture that had been produced from our activities probably wouldn't have soaked through two layers of fabric. As it was, I was left very red and thoroughly embarrassed.

I groaned and covered my burning face with my hands. After a long pause I peeked between my fingers to see Gaara looking very confused.

"What's wrong?" He inquired, tilting his head to the side.

"I…uh…um…never mind…" I mumbled from behind my hands.

I covered my eyes for another minute or two and then peeked between my fingers again to see him peering curiously down at his lap, and the wet spot there.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was confused. He stared down at the obviously wet spot on the fabric of his pants, and had seen a similar dark spot on the crotch of Ren's pants, and the obvious conclusion was that he must have climaxed. However, he knew that he hadn't since his dick was still throbbing almost painfully. So where in the hell had all this moisture come from?

He frowned a little, and lightly touched a bit of it, careful not to touch himself since he really didn't need the stimulation right now, or rather he needed it a little too much. He brought the slightly moist finger up to his face for inspection, peering at it closely. It was clear, and his sensitive nose didn't pick up the scent of urine, but it did pick up the intoxicating musky scent that had grown progressively stronger throughout the kiss, and one that he had even picked up in the bathroom earlier. It was the same scent that he had picked up outside of her room during those long and frustrating months of sexual frustration. And so he had to assume that it came from her. But he was still confused, as to where and why.

It was a conundrum, but he was distracted from his questioning thoughts by the choking sound Ren made. He looked up, slightly alarmed and glanced at Ren's face, one of her hands had dropped, her eyes were staring at him in utter shock and perhaps a little horror, and her mouth was open, her face redder than he had ever seen it before. He blinked, not entirely sure what the hell he had done to upset her so much. She was obviously extremely embarrassed, but he didn't know why.

 **Ren POV**

I stared at Gaara, my mind having gone blank from having just seen him actually touch the dark spot on his pants and then look at the dampness on his finger. And I was pretty sure he had even sniffed it. _What the hell? What. The. Hell. How do I always get myself into these situations?_

"Ren?" He inquired, his voice cautious and curious.

An odd, choked, high pitched, "...hm?" was the only thing I could produce at the moment, so I had to go with that as my answer.

After a moment, "Ren, your pants are wet." He stated point-blank, his voice curious.

My mind went even number if that was possible. _Did he just say what I think he just said?_ And then after I blankly stared at him for another minute he said something that shocked me even more, perhaps the only thing that could have shocked me out of my catatonic state.

"Why?" He asked, obviously thoroughly confused.

I blinked. "Say what?"

"Why are your and my pants wet?" He repeated.

"Why are…? You seriously don't know?" I sputtered.

He just gave me that look that was reserved for whenever I asked him a stupid question.

I face palmed, his lack of knowledge never ceasing to shock me and put me in awkward and embarrassing situations.

"Oh no…please don't tell me we have to have another sex ed talk." I moaned, so not ready to deal with this now.

He blinked. "If it would explain this, then yes, I'm afraid you're going to have to enlighten me."

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me." I scrubbed my hands over my face. "Okay Gaara, I'm going to tell you something that's probably going to embarrass me to the point of passing out, so I'm not going to be able to look at you while I tell you this. I hope that's not a problem for you."

His eyes widened a little. "If you would prefer to not talk about it…"

"Yes. I would prefer to not talk about it. But it's going to come up again sometime," I flushed as I realized that. "So I might as well tell you now." I sighed, groaned, and then flopped back on the bed. And then remembered what he had said earlier about my pants being wet, blushed like a tomato, and snapped my knees together, tucking my heels close to my butt to hide the evidence. Not that it mattered at this point.

I put both arms over my eyes, hiding myself as I groaned, then took a very deep breath, trying to convince myself to speak the words I needed to. "Okay, I'm only going to say this once, and I'm going to talk fast, and maybe incomprehensibly at times, so you're just going to have to do your best to keep up okay?"

A hum was my answer and I took one last deep breath. "Okay. So men and women, their bodies both change when they're… aroused. Guys get…well…hard." I waved my hand in Gaara's general direction. He had already successfully modeled that part of the explanation. And then I continued, putting my arm back over my eyes. "I told you at some point that women have to be…ready…eh…aroused…to have…sex… otherwise it's uncomfortable for them. Well… shit… um… I explained the physical dynamics of it, I think I called it…oh fuck it. Let's just call it by its real name because I'm sick of euphemisms. That passageway-thing I described a woman as having? Yeah, it's called a vagina. Yes it's a weird word. Moving on." I heaved a sigh, over this conversation before it began. "Okay. Right. So, to get ready for…sex...with the arousal and all…that part of a woman produces… well… um… lubrication." I cringed at the last word, and then covered my mouth with my other arm. My face burned with an unearthly heat.

After a long pause, in which my entire head burned and I wanted to die from the embarrassment of it all, Gaara's voice came from his side of the bed, "So this moisture is…your…?"

I flinched. Really, did I have to say yes to that? I mean, it seemed pretty obvious to me what the answer was. "Do I really have to answer that question?" I squeaked.

"No. I suppose not." After a very long pause, he said, "There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"You've said that before. And I'll say it again, I can't really control my embarrassment in these kinds of situations."

"Why are you embarrassed?"

"Because it's…that is…I mean…oh come on! It just is! That's my…you know…do I really have to explain it? Because I don't really think I can."

After another long Gaara-pause, he responded by saying, "It just means you were aroused by what we were doing. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Gaara!"

A long pause. "If it makes you feel any better, it makes me happy to know that you enjoyed our kiss."

"Good. I think…" I squeaked, not feeling any better, and mostly just more embarrassed, and potentially more aroused. I simply couldn't tell.

After a while I heard Gaara sigh and the bed shifted next to me. Then he was wrapping his arms around me and shifting me onto my side so he could curl around my back. I squeaked and tensed up, still so worked up from embarrassment that physical contact with him was the last thing I expected.

"Would you please relax?" He grumbled against the back of my neck. "I just want to hold you. I'm not planning on doing anything…inappropriate."

"Right. Yeah. Sure. I'll do my best." I mumbled, my face still tomato red.

It took a long time, but eventually the warmth and security of him behind me and his steady even breaths lulled me and my muscles unclenched, finally relaxing. I sighed, my eyes fluttering and finally feeling the last bits of embarrassment fade away. _Well…that was fun._

And so we fell asleep like that, curled up together, totally in the wrong place, with our heads at the foot of the bed and not even strait up and down but more at an angle across it, but it didn't really matter.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

LMFAO, wow, yeah, I really enjoyed writing that last bit. It's too much fun to write about their awkwardness and Gaara's inexperience.

Anyway, it wasn't quite a lemon, but it was pretty close. First french kiss, woohoo. I toyed with the idea of putting in a warning, but I figured I'd reserve that for when they get to second base. So basically, second base and on, I will put warnings in, but making out I won't.

Oh, and I hope Shukaku didn't disturb anyone too, too much. That was a little interchange between Shukaku and Kitty, though it's not explained, you could consider that as Shukaku marking Ren and Kitty as his (and Gaara's) mate. And no, Gaara was not aware of the lapse.


	67. Burn With Me: Chapter 40 & 41

The next morning I woke up to find Gaara already gone, and so I got ready to go, putting on my old disgusting clothes from yesterday and scooting to my apartment very quickly to get a fresh change of clothes.

After that, I went back to the Kazekage tower and went in search of Gaara in his office, wondering if he had already managed to put together that paperwork we had talked about last night. Although to be honest, he had mentioned it in passing and seemed more interested in doing other things, so it was possible that he had forgotten about it. Possible, but highly improbable given Gaara's nature.

Once in the tower I saluted the guards who had seen me leave this morning and they gave me a knowing smirk, to which I just rolled my eyes. _Yeah right._ If they knew I had had to give the young Kazekage another sex ed lesson last night they probably wouldn't believe me.

I politely knocked on the office door and Gaara's voice beckoned me in with his typical monosyllabic attitude. I entered the office and shut the door behind me.

"Lord Gaara." I bowed, never missing a chance to play with him when he was in his Kazekage mode. "I was wondering if you had some paperwork for me." I asked, my lips twitching at the somewhat amused, somewhat annoyed, look he was giving me.

"Yes actually." He replied, reaching over to a stack of papers and picking up a scroll that had very carefully been placed on top, as if to make sure it didn't get submerged in the tidal wave of nonsense on his desk. I knew it must drive him nuts, since he was such a control freak, but it seemed even he couldn't tame the Kazekage workload yet.

I sat in the chair across from him as he rolled out the scroll of paper. He fetched a couple of books and one or two scrolls as well, laying them out neatly next to the paper he had just laid in front of me.

"I researched the protocols in assigning such a specialized, long term mission, and the paperwork required to make it official. The same rules exist in all the villages, but each village has its own customs. This is the paperwork required. Please read it before you sign."

I nodded and picked up the scroll he had laid out, sort of just skimming it. Essentially, it was simply a contract stating that I would be willing to risk my life to protect Gaara and would do anything necessary to secure the safety of the Kazekage, and the Sand Village through him. Although, I knew we were going to fight about it if I ever did actually have to lay my life down for him.

I continued reading the scroll and quickly picked up the gist of it. In essence, the contract would sever any commitments I had to my superiors. There would be no one that I was obligated to take orders from, aside from the Kazekage, which would free me to be by his side pretty much 24/7. This would make me equal in standing and authority as the Jonin on the Council. The only difference was that I couldn't give anyone else orders, unless it was something Gaara asked me to do, or if it was in the Kazekage's interest.

So that meant that when it came to protecting the Kazekage, if I gave an order, people would have to obey it, which would give me the authority necessary to carry out any specialized missions he may give me. Similarly, it would give me authority in other villages as the Kazekage's right hand, basically giving me the power to stand in for him if necessary, potentially even sign for him. Of course that was only when he needed me to.

Part of the contract was a strict lecture on not abusing the powers given to me, and only to use them at the Kazekage's direction. Unless he was in danger, in which case all bets were off and people had better bow down before me, because they would quickly find out that when it came to Gaara's safety, I was going to be a bitch.

Over all, it looked like the perfect job for me. It would release me from all obligations that didn't pertain specifically to Gaara. It would let me be around Gaara all the time, and I would be able to make sure that Gaara continued to be the Kazekage for a very, very long time. I would assume that the few things Gaara might have been concerned about me not liking, were the parts that essentially said that by signing on the dotted line I was selling my soul to Gaara, which was probably why he was so demanding that I read the whole thing.

But then again, I had done that a long time ago.

The language in this thing was very formal. He had outdone himself and followed all the rules when putting it together. So I knew that it wasn't his choice to include things like, if I failed at my job my life was literally in Gaara's hands. It was very specific about how the Kazekage could execute me if I failed in any way, shape, or form. That didn't particularly bother me though, because I knew he would never actually kill me. There was nothing in the rules that said he _had_ to do any of that shit, just that he _could_.

Yeah, this was one of those times where, if it were anyone else, I would burn the damn thing, because it gave Gaara an immense amount of "power" over me, at least legally speaking.

Oh, and it also said that it was up to him whether I married anyone or not, because apparently it was in his power to deny me that privilege. I almost laughed at that, because there was only one person that I would ever even possibly consider marrying, and frankly this contract was a whole lot more binding than a marriage contract. So I was already committing myself to him. What more did I need?

I could see where he had put in his own touches, wherever he could get away with it. He had done his best to soften the harsh legality of it and make it a little more equal. For example, in a list of my duties, there were things like acting in an advisory capacity to the Kazekage that had his name written all over them. In essence, he had made me his right hand, second in command, and advisor, as well as his bodyguard, instead of just a servant that he could control and use as a shield. I got the feeling, based on the rules, that this position was sometimes filled by someone who was almost the status of a slave to the Kazekage.

The funny thing about this contract was that I knew if it was actually tested in battle, where I was supposed to essentially hop in front of him and take an arrow in his stead, I knew that in reality we would probably be pushing and shoving each other out of the way, fighting over who got to save who. But at any rate, as far as I was concerned, it was just legal bullshit so that no one could get fussy about me being by his side and not going on missions, so it didn't really matter.

Satisfied, I returned it to the desk. "I'm impressed! It must have been a pain in the butt to write that one up. You were very thorough."

A slightly sardonic expression flitted across his face. "Indeed. I didn't want anyone to be able to dispute this partnership and your new position, so I made sure it was airtight."

I quirked my lips at him, unable to resist teasing him just a little. "I can tell. Now tell me, was it a very sneaky plan on your part, or was it actually in the rules that you had power over who I married?"

He flushed ever so slightly, and his eyes narrowed at me, daring me to comment further on it. "It was actually in the rules."

I snorted. "I see, well I suppose it makes weird sense. You wouldn't want your bodyguard to get too busy making babies and forget about you."

He blinked. "I looked into that. There are arrangements that can be made, either a temporary sabbatical in which you would appoint your substitute while you were pregnant, or you could chose to end the contract. Naturally, in the rules it says that you are obligated to tell me before you plan on having a child, so that arrangements can be made prior. And also that I have the power to forbid you from having a child."

I blinked, mildly shocked by the rare Gaara speech. "Was that written in the contract?"

"Yes. Here." He pointed.

I leaned in, peering closely at some very fine print that I discovered was actually all through the whole thing. "Right. Uh. I guess I'd better read the fine print too huh?"

He nodded.

I sighed, picking up the damn thing again and settling myself in for a good, long, very boring read. I already knew I was going to sign, but I also found in the rules, that it was a rule, for me to read the damn thing thoroughly before signing. "Alright, this is going to take a while. Might as well make yourself comfortable and do some other work while I'm at it. Oh, and I'm already planning on signing by the way. I'm just following the damn rules, keeping it airtight like you said."

His face relaxed some, and I realized he had actually been worried that I might get freaked out by the thing and go back on it. He nodded, setting aside the research material he had used to put it together and pulling forward a stack of papers he was working on reducing.

After a good long while, I started to get a crick in my neck, and desperately need some hot tea. "Hey Gaara? Is there any place in this tower to get a good cup of tea?" I inquired.

He glanced up. "Yes actually. There are some arrangements that can be made for food delivery as well."

I nodded. "And who would I talk to about that?"

"Either Mizuki or Kanna."

"Excellent."

A puff of purple smoke randomly came into being on top of Gaara's paperwork. I was somewhat surprised to see Mau sitting there, her purple paws right in the middle of whatever document he had been writing on moments before, grinning her Cheshire grin and wiggling her purple striped tail in the air behind her. "Meow, I sensed that I could help my favorite human? Meow?"

Gaara sat back in his chair, and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the strange feline on his desk. Having never seen Mau before, he was understandably dumbfounded, not only by her strange appearance, but also by her penchant for popping up at the most interesting times, and in the most interesting places, usually right in the middle of whatever work you were doing. Either that, or up in a very strange place like on a bookshelf or upside down on the ceiling. Her brilliant neon green eyes glowed at me, showing her enthusiasm.

"Hi there, Mau. As always, your timing is amazing. Yes, I was just getting ready to go and request some hot tea from…someone. Gaara says that there's somewhere you can get it here in the tower."

"Then I shall go make sure that they know what you need, meow. Does your mate want anything to eat or drink?"

"Well, he's behind you…" I pointed out.

"Yes. I know. Meow." She blinked, her grin widening.

I snorted, amused by her penchant for finding humans beneath her.

"Gaara?" I inquired, glancing at him.

He simply shook his head and she disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

Gaara blinked, still looking bemused. "Don't you need to tell her who to talk to?"

"Nope. Somehow she always knows exactly where to find the person I'm looking for, even if I don't know who that person is myself. It's downright creepy actually." I shrugged, always amazed by Mau's abilities.

"Huh." He stared down at the black and purple fur that now lightly dusted his desk.

"Sorry about that."

He blinked.

I got back to reading my thing, and sure enough, a few minutes later someone came by and dropped off a couple of mugs of hot tea, just the way I liked it. It helped a lot, and soon I finished the tedious read, going through every tiny little side note and clause that Gaara had painstakingly written in. He really was amazing. If it had been this difficult to read, I could only imagine how difficult it had been to write.

"Alright," I sighed. "I'm done. Finally."

"Excellent. Did you have any questions about it?" Gaara looked up, putting down his pen and putting his elbows on his desk, meeting my eyes seriously. I could see some well-hidden excitement deep in his gaze as well.

"Only one. I didn't see it anywhere in here, but I'm pretty sure it'll come up at some point. Probably sooner rather than later, and as a protest against our arrangement. Is our…non-platonic relationship, going to be a problem? I mean, I'm guessing hanky-panky might be frowned on in this type of formal arrangement."

Gaara snorted, amused by my choice of words probably, his eyes sparkling with humor. I just grinned and shrugged, figuring we might as well be honest here.

I mean, I had to bring it up, as uncomfortable as it was, because it seemed like a valid concern. I could just imagine some stuffy councilmember asking Gaara whether it was a smart idea to make his mistress his body guard. It wasn't exactly subtle, and once everyone found out we were in a relationship, the reason behind this arrangement would be easily deduced. Everyone would know we had simply wanted to spend more time together, and they may not care whether I took my new job seriously or not. There would undoubtedly be plenty of protestation, just from the principle of the thing.

Gaara smirked and tilted his head to one side, saying teasingly, "I don't think 'hanky-panky' is a legal term Ren."

I sputtered with surprised laughter and then sighed, wiping my eyes and said, "Yeah, probably not. But you know what I mean Gaara. Seriously, what are we gonna do about it?"

He hummed and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his desk and steepling his fingers, a gesture that I had come to recognize as a ' _Gaara in Kazekage mode'_ type of gesture. "It's a valid point, one that also came to my mind."

"Then knowing you, you've already done all the research."

"Exactly. I found that it's not uncommon for these sorts of arrangements to be made in conjunction with…a non-platonic relationship. Either the two participants were already in a relationship prior to the agreement, or else became involved with each other sometime after working together. It only works if the other party is competent at the given position, and I have complete confidence in your abilities."

"So, in other words, we have examples we can use to combat all the complaints. And as long as I do my job well, they can't protest right?"

"Precisely." Gaara nodded, looking pleased.

"Then there's no problem." I shrugged.

Sure, this was an arrangement to let me spend more time with Gaara, but more than that, I truly thought it was the perfect job for me. There was literally nothing I would rather do with my life, than protect Gaara, and support him. Even more than that, he wasn't just the man I loved anymore, he was also the Kazekage of my village, and a damn fine one at that. So I would be taking my job very seriously indeed.

A slight quirk of Gaara's lips was all the warning I had before he dropped the next bombshell. "I also looked into whether marriage was acceptable between a Kazekage and their bodyguard, and found that it also has precedence. So I don't believe the rules pertaining to either marriage or child bearing will have any consequence."

My mouth opened and closed for a few moments in shock, not expecting that he would have already thought of the possibility that our relationship might someday end up there. Although, I suppose that this whole contract business sort of forced him to acknowledge it as an option that he didn't want discounted.

After a long moment in which I gathered up my brain from the rather messy explosion in my head, patching it back together very hastily with some mental tape, I stuttered, "Uh. W-well that's good to know."

He simply blinked, the very small smirk telling me that he enjoyed my discomfort. He may have gotten over his bloodlust, but I couldn't help but note that he still seemed to get a certain amount of delight from giving me a hard time. Well, he wouldn't be Gaara if he wasn't at least a little bit of an asshole sometimes. I tsked and shook my head at him, finding his shenanigans amusing more than annoying.

"All right then, is that it? Where do I sign?" I asked, leaning forwards, ready to be done with this fucking paperwork. I seriously didn't know how Gaara did it.

"Yes. For this. But I found that there are a few more things specific to the Sand Village. I uncovered a ritual that is traditionally employed to seal the commitment between the two parties entering into this particular contract."

"Okay, I'm listening." I leaned forward in my seat, intrigued.

He handed me a sheet of paper and I groaned. _Yay, more stuff to read_. He smirked.

It described a ritual that, if done successfully, would strengthen the contract, so that it was more than just ink on paper. It was essentially a sealing jutsu, written out on a scroll, in which we would both put our bloody fingerprints, in the same way you formed a summoning contract. That would then seal the contract between us, and would essentially make me a summons. With it, we would be able to communicate over long distances, although it was hazy on the details of how. It seemed like a pretty nifty idea.

"The jutsu leaves a mark, sort of like a tattoo." Gaara warned.

"What sort of tattoo?"

"Similar to the one on your chest from where the cat was sealed inside of you." He answered grimly.

"Oh." I winced, remembering how painful that had been. "So it would just be a sealing mark?"

"Not exactly. This jutsu is specific to the Sand Village. It's a recognizable mark, one that shows you have the authority of the Kazekage behind you. Not only does it have those special properties, which are top secret, but to outsiders it acts as a passport, badge, uniform, and bypasses any sort of paperwork that would normally have to be filed to get things done."

"I see. So it's kind of like a brand, saying I'm yours." I smirked as he flushed, obviously shocked. He started some sort of stuttered protest but I cut him off with, "I'm just kidding Gaara. But anyway, I'm actually fine with that, the whole branding thing. It's kinda cool to have something that lets everyone know I'm with the Kazekage, even if it's just as a bodyguard. And it seems like it would be quite useful."

He flushed, looked dazed for a moment, and then shook his head, visibly retraining his thoughts in a different direction. I snickered, thoroughly amused by his discombobulation.

After he regathered himself, he continued. "This Jutsu is usually one way." He warned, and I immediately understood the implications of that.

"So, that means that generally the Kazekage doesn't have the ritual performed on them right?" He nodded. "I could see why. It'd be a great way to give orders, as a one-way communication line. And that would mean you could summon me, but not the other way around correct?" He nodded again.

"However, there is no rule against me also doing the ritual and I found a few examples of it. They were all successful and the jutsu worked both ways, increasing its potency."

"Would you want to do it two ways?" I asked, not entirely surprised.

"Yes. But I would put the mark somewhere it wouldn't show. You would want yours to be conspicuous."

"Makes sense. We don't need people seeing yours and thinking you're a big old softy. It might hurt your reputation." I teased. But it was true, Gaara doing this was a big risk.

He just started at me with those eyes. It was that look that said he knew I was teasing him, and he was amused, but also a little aggravated.

I snorted. "Yeah, yeah. I know. So I'll just sign the contract now and then when do you want to do the ritual?"

"We could do it tonight, if you wanted to. Or we could wait."

"Are there any supplies we need to get?"

"No."

"Then if were all ready to go, let's just get it over with tonight." I wanted this over with as soon as possible. I already knew it was gonna be a pain in the butt, and I hated to have shit like that hanging over my head.

"Very well. We need a witness to our signing this contract."

"Leave it to me."

I waited, and sure enough, a few seconds later _**poof**_ , Mau popped into being, draped lazily in one of the wall sconces. "What can I do you for, meow?"

"Mau, have you been smoking catnip again?" I pointed and squinted at her, recognizing the tone and speech.

"Maybe…" She grinned, showing that broad creepy smile fully of pointy teeth.

I just sighed and shook my head, rolling my eyes at her ridiculousness. "We need a witness to our signing this thing." I waved the contract in the air to indicate what I meant.

"Meow, s'done. Seeya toots." She popped back out.

I sighed, and rolled my eyes once again.

A few minutes later a very confused Baki walked into the room. I never knew how Mau got the things and people I needed, and I never asked, but I had noticed that the people who showed up always seemed mildly confused, as if they weren't entirely sure why they had come here.

"Ah. Perfect!" I exclaimed. As usual, she had found the perfect candidate for the job. Somehow, Mau always knew who to get, even when I didn't.

"Baki. We need a witness to make this paperwork official. Would you sign below us?" Gaara interjected, quickly grabbing Baki's attention.

"What exactly am I witnessing Lord Gaara?"

"Ren has agreed to become my personal bodyguard."

"Ah. I see. Excellent choice, I would be honored to witness the contract." There was a note of pride in Baki's voice, and I knew he was pleased that two of his students had acquired such prominent positions within the village.

And so Gaara signed, I signed, and then Baki signed, making my new position official. As soon as the ink dried Gaara immediately rolled up the scroll, wrapped a ribbon around it, put his seal on it, then put it in a scroll canister, putting a seal on that too. He then made some hand signs and it disappeared in a puff of smoke. _Looks like Gaara's been learning some jutsu to help with important documents. Smart._

Baki then left.

"Okay. Now what?" I turned to Gaara, grinning ear to ear.

"Now, you are my bodyguard. So, you stay here with me as I finish all this other nonsense." He gestured to the papers piled on his desk. I snorted, Gaara expressing frustration was endlessly funny.

"Yessir." I did my best Matsuri impression, complete with salute and higher pitched voice.

Gaara just gave me that look again, the one that was the Gaara equivalent of rolling his eyes. Sort of a baleful, blank look with a _sloooow_ blink.

I snorted and kicked back in the chair I had been hanging out in, a rather uncomfortable wooden thing that had my butt going to sleep off and on for the past two hours. I grimaced. "Were gonna have to get me a better chair. You have that big comfy thing, and since I'm gonna be here with you all the time I'll need to get something I can sit in without my behind going numb." I mused out loud.

"You will also be getting the apartments next to mine," He muttered absentmindedly, his eyes fixed on whatever it was he was doing.

"Really? Huh. Hadn't thought of that. Makes sense." _Great, I have to move all my stuff again._

I was going to have to get myself some scrolls and books to read while he was doing his thing, because it was the longest fucking afternoon ever. I sighed and stared at the ceiling, counting in my head up to a hundred and then back again, not dealing with boredom very well at all. Eventually Kitty spoke up, after she had had it with the counting, and yelled at me, telling me to _**SHUT UP!**_

Finally, after several hours of mind-numbing boredom, things got a little a more interesting. Gaara stood up, stretched, and said, "Come. We have a council meeting to attend."

I snorted and jerked, almost falling out of my chair, having dozed off a little. "Say what now?"

He blinked at me. "Council. Meeting." He repeated himself, not really irritated, but just being very clear. And of course doing the Gaara thing and saying as little as possible.

"I heard you the first time," I said sourly. "What I meant was, am I coming in with you or just hanging around outside?"

He started walking out of the room and I hustled to follow him. "You will be by my side. Always. That's your job remember?" He glanced back at me out of the corner of his eye, a little grin curling up the corner of his mouth.

"Right. Body. Guard. Can't guard your body if it's in there and I'm out here."

He snorted, his grin widening a smidge.

We walked to the council chamber and entered. I immediately got serious, not at all liking the atmosphere in here. The council had tried to kill Gaara so many times and I didn't trust any of them. I grew ramrod straight and did my own version of the ominous-aura-thing that Gaara liked to do, making sure to stay in step with him and only one or two steps behind him.

My eyes took inventory of our surroundings, and I sent out a fine, imperceptible network of chakra laced wind, just to be absolutely sure there wouldn't be any funny business. Gaara took his seat at the head of a large, round table, and I took my place, just a little bit behind his chair.

The council chamber slowly filled, and I immediately got curious and hostile looks from all the old farts, since no-one was supposed to be allowed in here except councilmembers and the Kazekage. As soon as the doors closed, the first thing that was said was, "Hold on now. It seems that there's still someone in here that doesn't belong. Shouldn't we wait for her to leave before we begin?"

"That would be a very long wait." Gaara drawled, and I fought to keep my face strait. "She is my personal bodyguard and goes wherever I do."

That got a few responses.

"Since when?"

"Her? But she's so young! Not even a Jonin!"

"She's unqualified!"

And so forth.

After a moment Gaara silenced the whole room with a look. Sheesh, I had forgotten how scary he could be. After there was complete silence he said, in a particularly commanding rasp, "I find that she is more _qualified_ than any other ninja in this village. As Kazekage, I have chosen my guard, as is my right. Do you question me?"

There were some sputters and murmurs and a few bowed heads and some angry stares, but no one was brave enough, or stupid enough, to have a smart comeback. _Good._

Except then one of the older, crankier farts in the room cleared his throat. "And why is she so qualified? Just because a woman is good in bed, doesn't mean they are good in battle. Even you should know this, as inexperienced as you are."

 _I spoke to soon._ My eyes honed in on the arrogant asshole that had probably just signed his own death certificate. Well, certainly if the situation were different, I knew Gaara would have dispensed with him in a heartbeat, but at the moment he was limited.

The room abruptly grew a few degrees colder and there was an immediate and absolute hush around the table as Gaara's glare, already enough to shut up everyone else, upped its intensity from ' _shut up you bunch of nincompoops_ ' to ' _ **I will kill you and everyone you love in ten seconds flat if even one of you makes a single peep**_ ' before you could say _whoops_.

His eyes very slowly blinked, only managing to make him more frightening, and in a low stern voice that was terrifying in its tightly controlled, polite frigidity he said, "You have addressed the second most powerful person in this room as essentially a whore." He slowly stood, looming over the table, his aura terrifyingly dark. "My bodyguard is to be given the same respect as me. This is non-negotiable. Given the absurd breach in manners and protocol, I must ask you to leave. This council will adjourn, until further notice. I suggest you all remember this for our next meeting."

The door opened, surprising the guard on the other side. I saw some of his sand snaking back around the table from where it had been used to open the doors.

He stood there and glared until each and every one of the councilmembers had stood and filed out, all of them looking thoroughly reprimanded and pissed off. I would guess that this might come back to bite us and I tucked away the nugget in the back of my mind to be on the lookout for any councilmembers setting booby traps.

After everyone had left, we made our way out, back up the stairs, past his office and into his quarters, where his tight control vanished. I scooted out of the way as the cork in his gourd popped off, his sand spilling out and writhing around in the room uncontrollably.

"Oh shit." I muttered under my breath, backing up a step and watching to see if his sand was going to go berserk.

He snarled, and stood in the center of the room with his eyes closed as he worked on some deep breathing to help calm himself down. In the meantime, I squatted down, peering at his sand as it swirled around my feet in figure eights. Despite his anger issues, the sand seemed normal, although it was obviously not under his control. I snorted, always amused by his sand's personality, and dipped my cupped palms into the squirming mass, some of it slithering into my hands, almost as if it was eager for me to play with it.

Cupping my prize, I walked over and sat on the bed, settling in for a long wait. While Gaara stood, his eyes scrunched shut in obvious concentration, taking very measured breathes and focusing on not wanting to kill people, I sat cross-legged and opened my fingers, letting the sand spill out. Of course, it didn't act like regular sand, it never did. Instead of sifting loosely through my fingers and collecting on the bed and in my lap, it slipped through and then curled around, making coils as it snaked around my fingers in an investigatory manner. I held up one hand and let the sand travel from one to the other, watching all the fascinating little spirals and loop-da-loops it made on the way.

And then some of it started crawling up my arm, which was fine. I didn't really mind it traveling on its own accord. The sand that remained in my hands, I played with, letting it pool in one hand while the other teased out long strands that spiraled and twisted around my fingers. It was fun, and I rarely had a chance to play with his sand, so when the opportunity struck I was always eager.

"Ren!" Gaara barked, sounding horrified.

I glanced up, startled by the shocked exclamation. "Hm?"

Gaara's face was openly shocked and perhaps disturbed, his mouth opening and closing, his eyes wide open. "What are you…doing?!"

"Um. Playing with your sand. Why?" I wasn't exactly sure what the big deal was.

"You're. _Playing_. With. My. Sand?" He asked jerkily, still seeming shocked.

I blinked, glancing down at the sand and then back up, confused. "Yes…"

"You do realize that I'm not actively controlling it right now don't you?" He asked, somewhat weakly.

"Yes. I gathered that by the constipated look of concentration on your face just a minute ago."

"It could kill you!" He burst out, almost sounding exasperated now.

I rolled my eyes at his drama. "I doubt it. It's not acting very 'killer sand-ish.' See?" I held up the hand with the little coils of sand still dripping from my fingers. He glanced down, looking bemused and startled by its tame demeanor. "And it obviously could do some damage if it wanted to." I tucked a finger under the loose coil that had curled around my neck like some sort of living necklace. All it did was curl around my finger.

Gaara stared at the sand wrapped around my neck, obviously in a non-threatening manner, and scrunched up his non-brows in consternation.

"Besides, it's had the opportunity before, and it didn't then. So why now?" I pointed out logically.

"When?"

"When you were out cold from chakra loss after defeating Seimei. You got a fever and your sand got all hyper. So I just had to get used to it. It's actually quite fascinating to interact with. It's like it has its own personality." I dipped my hands down into my lap, letting the sand slither out and onto my legs where it immediately twined, curling around and under my crossed legs. Then I reached up again to touch the curious strand that had coiled around my arm and then looped around my neck, curling up and over my ear. "Like this strand for example. It veered off from the sand I had on my hands and just started exploring my arm and neck all on its own. It's almost like a…I don't know. I kind of assumed it's connected to your subconscious somehow? Maybe it's absorbed so much of your chakra it took on aspects of your personality."

I looked back up to see the most peculiar expression on Gaara's face, a mixture of fear, confusion, and wonder. "You…" he trailed off, his voice rough.

"What?" I asked, a little concerned.

He just shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me." He murmured, his voice rough, and yet so tender, almost melodic.

I blinked and then flushed with pleasure. "Thank you."

He heaved a sigh and lifted a hand, beckoning the sand back to him. It all rushed back into his gourd, the sand that had curled around my body slithering off gently. Once his gourd was once again full, he took it off and propped it up against the wall. Then he walked over to me still sitting on the bed, and gently took my face between his hands, shocking me with a soft, brief, sweet kiss on the lips. I blinked.

And then he sighed, leaning his forehead against mine briefly before straitening back up. "I apologize for getting so out of control."

"No problem. Happens to me sometimes too." I shrugged, not worried about it.

He nodded, paused, and then left the room for a second. I watched him leave, slightly confused, but knowing I would get an explanation on his return. And sure enough, soon he reentered the room, carrying a box. It was a very decorated, special looking box.

"What's that?" I inquired, my curiosity peeked.

"Everything we need for the ceremony is in here. If you still wanted to do that tonight." He responded, his voice mostly back to its normal tones.

He had composed himself, but I could see a glimmer in his eyes that said he was still feeling emotional about what had just happened. I supposed that he was so used to people being afraid of his sand, that me playing with it had shocked him greatly, and apparently also touched him in a way I couldn't have anticipated. I suspected that he had been so shaken up that it made him uncomfortable, and was now using this as a distraction. It's what I would do.

"Yeah. Sounds good to me." I hopped off the bed, walking over to him to get a closer look at the thing. He opened the box for me to look inside. There were two scrolls, two brushes, a pot of ink, a small bowl, and a knife inside, all very decorated and highly ceremonial looking.

"So where do you wanna do this?" I asked after inspecting the contents of the box.

He glanced around the room. "The floor. This might be messy."

"Makes sense to me." I plopped down on the floor cross-legged and looked up at him expectantly. "So me first?"

"Do you want that?" He asked, sitting down fluidly.

"Well, I am your bodyguard. I'd rather do it first and make sure it's safe." I shrugged.

He frowned lightly. "It's safe."

"Okay. Then there's no problem." And then I sighed, admitting, "I'd rather get it over with to be honest. I have a feeling that this isn't going to be fun."

He nodded, understanding what I meant, and laid out the materials. He opened one scroll, which had a diagram of the jutsu, and then he dipped one brush in the ink and started to very carefully paint a jutsu circle around where I was sitting.

"So I should just sit here right?" I inquired, craning my neck to see him over my shoulder.

He nodded, completely engrossed in what he was doing. After a good few minutes he had completed the complicated looking designs on the ground and sat back. "We should let it dry."

I nodded. "Okay."

While it was drying he took out the second scroll, which had a contract, very similar to the one I made with Nekomata not too long ago.

"Oh hey! I recognize that! It looks a lot like the one I signed with blood to make a contract with my cat summons."

Gaara nodded. Too busy with laying everything out to answer.

After a minute, the circle around me had dried and he had all the materials neatly laid out next to him. "Where do you want the mark?" He asked, picking up the knife.

"It needs to be visible right? Is there anywhere that it's typically placed?" I inquired, studiously avoiding looking at the blade in his hands. I wasn't sure what he was going to do with it, and I didn't really want to know.

"Often it's on the arm."

I nodded, fine with that. "Okay. Then let's just go with that. How big is it?"

"Quite."

I nodded and swiftly undid my armor, tossing it onto the bed, and then yanked my shirt over my head, also pitching it in that direction. I had on my breast bindings, so it didn't bother me at all, and I had to smirk when I heard Gaara's sharp inhale, obviously surprised by the unexpected disrobing. He quickly recovered, or at least appeared to in that special Gaara way of his, and I proceeded.

"Okay. Scar or no scar?" I asked, holding up the arm with the spiraling scar that I got when fighting Seimei. As I looked at it, I was once again bemused as to why I had punched with my left arm that time. I usually used my right arm, but perhaps the wound I had received from Seimei that curved up over my right shoulder had made it too painful to punch with that arm. It was all such a blur, I still couldn't remember insignificant details like that.

"Smooth would make the application easier."

"Then this is the arm for it." I held out my right arm.

He took the knife and I tensed, but instead of using it to draw my blood like I expected he sliced his own hand, letting his blood drip into the bowl set in front of him. I winced, not liking to see Gaara hurt, even if it was self-inflicted for a ritual.

First he dipped the pads of his fingers in the blood and pressed them into the circle at the center of the contract scroll. Afterwards he wiped his hand on his black pants and said, "When it's your turn, you can place your fingerprints on top of mine." I nodded.

He picked up the second brush and dipped it into his blood and then raised it to my skin, very delicately tracing out the jutsu mark on my arm. On my shoulder muscle he painted a circular seal, with intricate lines, it almost looked like a coat of arms or a sealing jutsu. In the center was the kanji for 'guard' around which a circle was drawn. And then four lines came out of that circle, on the top and bottom and both sides forming a cross. The lines ended in four horseshoe arches that almost closed to make circles, but not quite. Inside each Gaara carefully wrote a different kanji, body, blood, life, and spirit. A second circle was drawn, intersecting each of the horseshoe arches at the bottom curve, right above where they attached to the strait lines of the cross. And then he painstakingly painted a larger circle made up of intricate symbols encircled the whole thing. Some of the symbols stacked on each other, making points that came out of the band encircling the seal, and in my opinion, as I watched him paint it, it started to look almost like a sunburst.

Once the seal on my shoulder was finished, he grabbed hold of my wrist and held my arm out strait so he could get to the underside. Beginning between the encircled kanji on the bottom and the one on the left, he started painting more symbols, out in a line down and at an angle, going up underneath my arm. Then he went back up and started on the other side, between the bottom and right-hand side kanji, once again painting a band of symbols that went down and around my arm to meet the other band he had drawn. The two bands crossed under my arm, above my elbow, then looped back up and crossed again, right over the bend in my arm. After crossing the second time the two bands of symbols went down almost strait, on either side of the top of my forearm like a pair of pinchers, curving in a bit at the end. And then down my forearm in between the pinchers he wrote the three characters that made up his name in a vertical line, ga, a, ra. And then on my bicep under the seal but before the lines crossed over my arm, he painted the character for Kazekage.

After he had painted the entire thing on my arm in his blood he formed a bunch of complicated hand signs and then slammed them down on the circle in which I was sitting. The outer ring lit up and then the light worked its way inside, converging on me.

 _Yeah, no, this isn't going to be fun at all._ I grimaced, remembering what the last two jutsu that had been written on my body had felt like. I tensed, bracing myself for the pain, but it still caught me by surprise. I sucked in a deep breath and gritted my teeth, the intense chakra energy running though my body from where I was in contact with the circle, going up my legs, through my torso, and then coalescing in the lines in my arm. I clinched my hands into fists and closed my eyes tightly, determined not to make a sound.

 _ **Why are we doing this again?**_ Kitty protested, woken by the pain in our chakra network.

 _It's supposed to be…good…for…something…I think._ Actually I couldn't think, at least not very well.

 _ **Damn it all Kitten. I know you love the guy and all, but seriously this is pushing it.**_ She hissed, still very displeased.

 _Sorry._

Thankfully she didn't protest too much after that, since I didn't have all that much brainpower to focus on her at the moment.

The only thing that made it semi-bearable was the fact that it was Gaara's chakra. Even in such an intense dose, so intense that it hurt a whole fucking lot, I could still feel him in it, feel that spicy heat that made it distinctly his, and that somehow made it a little better. I centered myself and tried to just focus on the sensation of his chakra running through me, and in a strange way it felt almost intimate. But the more of it that traveled from the seal on the floor and into me, the more it felt like it was crackling through my body like electricity and firing off every pain center I had.

All that energy burned into the blood on my arm, feeling like it was cutting into my skin, deeper and deeper, the nerves in that arm making a very loud protest. I hissed as it got more and more painful, the seconds feeling like hours as the pain grew intolerable. And then, once all the energy had spread out evenly through the mark, I watched blurrily as Gaara stood, walked around me, and then heard him kneel behind me. I heard the rustle as once more he moved his hands in signs. I gulped in a deep breath of air, knowing it was going to get worse.

As his palms slapped together, the chakra burning the flesh of my arm suddenly grew white hot, and this time I did scream, but the sound was more guttural, closer to a yell. It was out before I could stop it, but as soon as it burst out of me I slapped the hand of my other arm over my mouth, muffling the sound. I bit into the flesh of my palm, keeping myself mute through force of will. What felt like razor sharp wire biting into my skin seared across my nervous system, the intensity of the pain causing my whole body to jerk. I would have toppled over if Gaara hadn't wrapped his arms around me from behind, bracing me and helping me to stay in the center of the circle where I needed to be.

It peaked, and I groaned through my hand, shuddering against him and letting him be in charge of holding me up. Thankfully after that the intense pain began to ebb slowly, and I was left trembling and gasping for breath, leaning back into Gaara. One last shudder worked its way down my body and then it was over, and a sigh of relief escaped me as I went limp. My head fell back against his shoulder as I panted, all my muscles lax as I let my body lean back into Gaara's.

He continued to hold me tightly, and now that I was done I could feel the tremors running through him. We stayed like that for a while, me just resting and catching my breath while he pressed close to me, cradling me against him and burying his face in my neck and shoulder as he worked through having to see me go through that. I felt his lips press against my throat, and I hummed, soothed by the tender gesture.

After a good ten minutes I raised my head from where it had slumped back against him.

 _ **I'm hungry…**_

 _Yeah…_

 _ **How about some fish?**_

 _Not in the mood, plus, there is no fish in the desert. You're a cat right? Do you like cream?_

 _ **Cream? I'm down for cream.**_

 _Good. Me too._

"Well. That wasn't very fun." I murmured aloud. "I think I need some ice cream."

I heard Gaara snort and felt the warm puff of air hit me on my neck. "That can be arranged." He murmured back, nuzzling his face closer, kissing me on my shoulder this time.

"Are you sure you want this mark yourself?" I asked hesitantly, really not wanting him to have to go through what I just did.

He nodded against me and I sighed. "Okay. Well, did you want to do that now?"

"Yes." He pulled away from me and I stood, exiting the circle. He moved into the center, taking my spot.

"Do I need to redraw the circle?"

"No. This will be fine." He sat there, cross-legged and looked up at me.

"Good." I bit my lip, looking down into his calm face. "Are you really, really sure you want to do this?" I asked him again, hesitating once more.

He nodded again and I sighed, resigning myself to it. I sat down and studied the scroll, observing the jutsu mark that I would now have to draw on him and studying the hand signs. Once I felt confident enough that I could do it, I asked him, "So where do you want yours?"

He silently took off his shirt. "Anywhere is fine, as long as it doesn't show."

I nodded, looking over the jutsu mark. Conveniently it was shown in several different ways, around an arm or leg, as well as flat on a chest or back. I realized that I would need to prepare the items for my blood, so I got up and emptied the bowl of Gaara's blood and rinsed it out, as well as rinsing the brush, and then sat back down.

"Front or back?" I asked, slicing my hand and letting the blood drip into the bowl.

He shrugged. "I suppose back might be easier."

"Okay then." I swiftly dipped my fingers in the blood and pressed my bloody fingerprints over Gaara's on the contract paper. Then I walked around him and began high up on his back, right below his neck and between where his shoulder blades started. I centered the circle on his spine, carefully drawing all the little delicate symbols, and lines, and circles and making sure to get it right. Then, I drew the two lines of symbols down. Flat like this they looked like they did a couple of figure eights, crisscrossing over his spine, and I ended it low on his back, right above his pants-line, with the two lines, again looking like pinchers, on either side of his spine. Then I drew in the single character for my name in between the brackets formed by the slightly curved bands of symbols, and made sure it was centered over his spine.

"Done. Here comes the not so fun part. You ready?"

He nodded and closed his eyes. I walked in front of him, consulting the scroll one last time, and then proceeded with the complicated hand signs, making sure to go slow enough that I didn't mess up. I could feel the chakra being drawn to my hands and it began to sting my fingertips. Once I had completed the hand signs, I smacked my hands palm down onto the outer ring of the circle and watched in trepidation and concern as it glowed bright, working in towards Gaara.

I winced as he tensed, having just experienced it myself. He locked all his muscles and held his position, scrunching his eyes closed. A low volume growl started up as the light started to glow brightly from behind him, visible even over his shoulder. I walked around behind him and watched as all the chakra slowly seeped into the mark, visibly making it glow brighter and brighter from the bottom up. I cringed as I saw small beads of blood well up, the fresh blood obviously his because mine was already dried from the heat of the chakra. As soon as every bit of the mark was glowing brightly, none of the chakra left in the ring, I followed the second set of hand signs, taking it slow again and consulting the diagram. Once done, I ended by slapping my palms together.

His back arched and his growl spiked in volume, then was interrupted briefly by a shout that ended on a whine as he cut it off quickly. I quickly knelt behind him and rested my hands on his shoulders, letting him know I was there. I could feel the tension running through him, shudders raking his frame as he dealt with the pain. I couldn't do what I wanted and hold him as he had done me, because I couldn't touch his back, but I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind, careful to arch my body away from his skin as I buried my face into his neck. One of his hands reached up and grabbed hold of my arm, clenching and holding me there. I could hear his teeth gritting together and his ragged breathing sawing in and out. He groaned as he arched again and the mark flashed bright for a brief moment and then began to slowly dim.

As soon as the light was out entirely I felt this muscles go lax under my arms and I drew back quickly, feeling him sway precariously. I swiftly hooked my arms under his, letting his upper back and shoulders rest against my chest as his head flopped back onto my shoulder, and I helped him to the ground, where he lay on his back. I gently guided his head to rest in my lap and stroked his slightly sweaty hair away from his forehead.

It took him about the same amount of time to recover from it as I had. And during that time I gently stroked his hair and touched his face with unsteady hands, reassuring myself that he was okay. Just like him, I found myself quivering faintly from watching him be in so much pain. After a while, his black eyelids fluttered, and his eyes opened, revealing the pale irises. He gazed up at me from my lap.

"You are correct. That was unpleasant."

I snorted at the understatement. "Yep. You want ice cream now?"

He blinked, thought about it for a moment, and then said thoughtfully, "Yes actually. That sounds good."

And so, after we had both recovered, we got up. Gaara did something with the box, and then we went and got ice-cream. We picked up several cartons and returned to his rooms, each of us claiming a whole carton and digging in with a spoon. Naturally Gaara, being weird, sprinkled some sort of red spice onto his chocolate ice cream and I stared at it dubiously.

"What in the heck did you just put on there?"

He looked up, the spoon sticking out of his mouth, and held the carton out for me to take a spoonful. I squinted at it, suspicious, and then gingerly scooped up a little. Surprisingly it was pretty good. The spiciness went with the chocolate and actually made a pretty tasty combination.

"Huh. That's not bad. But seriously, is there anything you don't eat with spices?"

He shrugged. "Not that I can think of."

I snorted. "No wonder your chakra feels so spicy."

He stared at me, cocking his head to the side. "My chakra feels spicy?"

"Yeah. I can sense chakra with my wind, and each chakra has a different signature. It sometimes has a sensory feel to it. And yours definitely feels spicy. It also feels very hot, hotter in temperature than most chakra. But maybe that's because it's so intense."

"Hm." He hummed interestedly.

We finished our ice-creams, putting them away in his kitchenette, and then I excused myself, telling him I was going to clean up. I went into the bathroom, took off my shirt, and wet a washcloth, gently wiping all the dried blood off my skin. We had been so eager to get ice-cream we hadn't bothered messing with our marks and had just dressed over them. I looked down at the mark, for once actually proud of something that had been carved into my skin. It was bright red, and looked pretty good.

I dampened another rag and went out into the bedroom, finding Gaara. "If you take off your shirt I'll clean off your mark for you. I didn't really put it in a place you could very easily reach."

He nodded and turned around, taking his shirt off and hissing slightly when it rubbed against his tender skin. I gently used the damp cloth to clean his the way I had done mine. His also looked good, actually it looked damn sexy. But then again, he was already hot as hell. But there was something about my name being permanently on his skin, or at least as permanent as this jutsu was, that made me all tingly inside.

"There. All done." I grinned, pleased by the sight of the bright red lines I had painstakingly painted on him. I had done a good job, thankfully.

I spent the night again. Nothing sexy happened this time though, since we were both too tired after the ritual. We simply collapse on the bed together, and I fell instantly asleep, not even having any nightmares. Of course, I had noticed that my nightmares were much fewer in general when I spent the night with Gaara. Just one more reason, among many.

* * *

 **Chapter 41**

I moved into the apartments next to Gaara's the next day, while he was working on paperwork in his office, and found them to be quite nice. They were just as good, if not better than my old apartment. Gaara's apartment was at the end of the hall, and had a big fancy door. Mine was the only other door on this hallway, and on the wall opposite to my door was a line of porthole windows, just like in his office. His apartment and mine, which was maybe ten feet down the hall from his, were the only two apartment suites in this relatively short hallway. Actually, I was pretty sure they were the only thing on this whole floor. There were more scattered around, but those were on the floor below this one.

My apartment was significantly less fancy than Gaara's of course, but still very nice. I suspected it was for this very purpose, since having a personal body guard was not uncommon, and it was so close to his quarters. It had a bedroom with a nice sized bed and plenty of shelving for books, a good bathroom with both a shower and a tub, a sitting area with a couch and a big comfy chair around a nice table, and a small kitchenette with a small round table for eating at. Everything was better quality than in my old apartment. The furniture was nicer, the fixtures and appliances were sparkly and new, the bathroom had white marble in it and was stocked with super fluffy towels, and the bedclothes were of the finest linen. Over all, I was extremely happy with my new accommodations.

After moving in all my stuff, I walked down the private staircase that went down from the top floor to the second floor and made my way to Gaara's office.

The Kazekage building was kind of a complex layout. The guest rooms and accommodations for some of the more important council members, and some of the older retired councilmembers, were on the floor beneath ours, in a private residential section of the building that wasn't even accessible from the same staircase that led up to our apartments. There was a separate staircase on the other side of the building that accessed the residential third floor, which had several hallways of cushy suites. We had our own staircase of course, that led from the second floor, near Gaara's office, all the way to the top floor without any sort of landing or access point to the third floor. And naturally the entrance to the Kazekage's residential staircase was guarded. The second floor was dedicated to the Kazekage office, the Council Meeting Room, and the Archives. The first floor had that big reception area that the party had been in, so it was a big round hall, and normally there was a manned desk / reception area where any requests, complaints, or any other sort of mundane business could be filed.

Once in Gaara's office, I parked myself in my chair with a scroll. That had been my second order of business, to place a few requests around to acquire a nice comfortable chair. After a full day of paperwork we made our way back up to his rooms and started work on understanding our new communication system. Once in his apartments I parked myself on the bed, as usual, and got right to the point.

"So, we have these jutsu marks now. How do we use them? I mean, we're supposed to be able to communicate long distances or something now right? And summon each other?"

"Indeed." Gaara turned and looked in his bookshelf that he had in his bedroom, perusing for something. "Here." He pulled out a fancy looking scroll. "I made sure to find this for tonight and have it available." He turned to me and handed it over, his face calm and impassive but his eyes bright and excited.

I opened the scroll and took a look. It appeared to be an instruction manual for how to use the special jutsu mark. It was pretty simple actually. It appeared that there were three different hand-signs, one to start off the jutsu, which would make the first connection and set it in place. Then, after that there was a very simple hand sign for communication, and another, more complicated one for summoning. And just like when I summoned my cats, I would need to bite or cut the hand I used for the bloody fingerprints on the contract scroll to get some blood as a sacrifice for the summon. But it did say that the one who was summoned would need to accept the summons. Of course, if they were asleep, the summoning would probably wake them up, but if they were passed out and unable to accept it was a no-go, which was a pretty bad loophole. It meant that I wouldn't be able to summon Gaara and he wouldn't be able to summon me if either of us were captured and passed out. But then again, I supposed it would prevent the embarrassment of being summoned off the toilet mid-business or something.

"Looks simple enough," I muttered. "We should probably do the first set of hand-signs to set up the long distance connection."

He nodded and walked towards the bathroom. I blinked as he shut the door behind him. Well, I guess that would work. I guessed he was trying to imitate 'long-distance' conditions with the closed door. "You going first?" I called.

I heard his typical Gaara noise and waited. After a second I felt a very strange sensation, several strange sensations actually. There was what felt like a buzzing sensation in the jutsu mark on my shoulder and when I looked down I could see that it was faintly glowing. It wasn't unpleasant, just a little strange. What was more disturbing was what felt like someone pushing at my mind.

I had so many barriers guarding my mind still, and it seemed that all those walls I had put up to keep everyone out and keep my emotions under control were getting in the way of the communication. It felt very strange, like some sort of weird pressure in my skull. If my mind had a door, Gaara was leaning heavily on it, and peering through the eyehole. I snorted, picturing it in my head. I could totally see him doing something like that with his creepy stalker tendencies.

"Why is there a chain-link fence in your mind?" I heard Gaara ask from the bathroom as he opened the door to peer out at me bemused.

"There is?" I asked, amused. I had often thought of it that way, but I didn't know it would actually come across visually in a situation like this.

"Yes. And it's topped with barbed wire." He said dryly.

"Oops." I snorted. "Well, this might turn out to be difficult. Go back in there and try again. I'll see if I can't tear it down enough for you to get in. Or maybe, I can make a gate."

Gaara nodded and closed the door again. Once again I felt that strange pressure. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes concentrating hard. I could feel the pressure, and I tried to locate where he was attempting access. It seemed like he was moving around and testing my defenses. "Could you stay still please? It's hard to make a gate when you're scooting around all over the place!" I called.

After a moment I sighed, feeling like this wasn't going anywhere fast. "Alright look. Let's do this in the same room to start with and get further and further apart as we get better. I think that might be easier."

Gaara walked back out into the room and I felt a bit of a fumbling in the pressure as he briefly lost concentration. He sat cross-legged in front of me where I was sitting on the bed. The pressure was much more intense with him this close, so it was easier for me to sense where he was trying to gain access to my mind. Although, with his eyes glowing intensely and staring at me like he was trying to drill a hole in my head, I found myself getting distracted by his gaze.

So, I closed my eyes, focused my mind on the pressure I could more clearly feel now, and tried to visualize it. I quickly noticed that there was more than one barrier; it was like there was a chain link fence, then a brick wall, then a mote, then a castle wall, and then a fortress. _Damn, didn't know I was that bottled up inside. Alright, time to do some rearranging._

I took a deep breath and focused, picturing a big solid door with locks on it at the front of the fortress. I slowly and methodically unlocked all the big clunky locks, keeping the picture solid in my mind. Then I opened the big metal gate in the castle wall and dropped down a draw bridge over the mote. I had no idea if this would work, but picturing these sorts of things had seemed to work for me before. Next I imagined a nice garden gate in the brick wall in my mind. After that I came upon the chain link fence, and through it I could very faintly see Gaara with my mental eye.

"I think I'm almost there." I murmured, keeping up my concentration.

"I see that." I heard Gaara murmur back in the same tone, and guessed he must mean that he could see me mentally the way I could see him. _Man this is weird._

I worked on forming a gate in the chain link fence, but this last one seemed quite a bit more difficult for me.

 _ **Need some help?**_ Kitty purred, her eagerness a little disturbing.

 _No, no, I got it, thanks._

I pushed and shoved and worked on the damn thing until it finally gave up and made a fucking gate. Then I had to figure out how to unlock the thing. I heard Kitty growl in the back of my mind, her lack of patience obvious. I guessed she wanted to get at Gaara herself.

 _Are you planning on molesting Gaara?_

 _ **What would give you that idea?**_

 _Be nice._ I admonished and she sort of went off to pretend like she wasn't paying attention. But I knew she would probably be back as soon as I figured out how to let Gaara in.

Finally, I managed to unlock the gate, but before I opened it I warned Gaara. "Um, just to let you know… Kitty seems a little eager, and I don't know what she's going to do once you enter my mind. In fact, I don't really know how any of this works … but still, I figured I should warn you."

"…hm." I heard his typical Gaara sound and snorted.

"All right. Here we go, brace yourself." I took a big gulp and opened the gate.

He gasped as he entered, and when I slitted my eyes I could see that he looked slightly overwhelmed, and I wondered what it was he was experiencing to give him such a face. On my end, it wasn't exactly a picnic either, so I totally understood the whole overwhelmed thing.

I stopped picturing it as soon as I opened up a way for him to get in, because I immediately forgot what it was that I was doing from the shock of feeling Gaara in my brain. I had only felt it once before, not nearly so intense though, and he had been a psychopathic brat at the time. I hissed, tensing at the strange intimate feeling of his mind rubbing up against my own. It really was like skin on skin contact, except even worse, or better, depending on how you look at it. It was so intimate, more so than I was exactly comfortable with, and I cringed, working on adjusting my barriers, so that he could enter, but enter into just a single room and not the whole fortress so to speak.

Even with that very flimsy barrier, it was a little too much, but I had to just deal with it. I realized I was panting as I worked on it. Strangely, it was also arousing, in an incredibly weird way, and I found myself getting damp, which was distracting and frustrating.

"Is this okay?" I heard Gaara, both outside and inside my mind, and it was so very, very weird. Because he didn't exactly think like he spoke. It wasn't exactly words, so much as it was the thinking of words, and it made sense, but I didn't know _how_ it made sense. His audible voice was raspy and sounded a little strained, and his mental voice, though not audible, felt strained, but in a totally different way.

"Oh this is so freaky." I groaned, squinting one eye open to see him in real life instead of just feeling him inside my head.

"Does it hurt?" He asked weakly, and I could very distinctly feel his concern inside me.

"No…but it's very…uh…sort of uncomfortable." I mumbled.

I kept working on fortifying those walls inside my head, letting him just be in that tiny room, compartmentalizing him away from all the deep, dark shit in the rest of my head. I also worked on putting up a fence between him and Kitty, but that wasn't working out too well.

And then Kitty broke through my walls. "Oops, incoming."

Gaara immediately knew what I meant when his mental presence was tackled by the fuzzy aggressive feline always there inside my brain. Not that she was aggressive in a particularly violent manner, but more in a ' _tackle you to the floor and hump you to death'_ kind of way. Of course you can't exactly do that with simply mental presences, so all she could really do was twine her mind around his sinuously, rubbing up against him as much as mentally possible.

 _ **Well hello there you cute red-head. Never thought I'd get to say hi myself. What a delight.**_

" _Kitty! Control yourself you horny feline!"_ I spoke and thought at the same time, my eyes opening in shock. And then I busted out laughing at Gaara's expression.

If I had thought he was overwhelmed before, I was wrong, because now his eyes were wide and glassy, his non-brows scrunched up a tiny bit and making a little wrinkle between them. Even his mouth had popped open. He looked utterly shocked and completely overwhelmed, and unsure about how to deal with the fuzzy nonsense going on in my head, and now his as well.

"Bu…wha…uh…does she…normally…do this?" He stuttered, his voice cracking in a way I had never heard before.

"Sorry Gaara, I did warn you. I'll try and get her under control again, hold on."

 **Gaara POV**

He honestly had no idea how to deal with his current predicament. Entering Ren's mind had been intense enough, feeling as though he was being utterly submerged in her, and the contact was…extremely intimate and intense. To the point that it almost made him a little uncomfortable. Naturally, he had immediately thought about how certain comparisons could be made to another very intimate activity, and those sorts of thoughts hadn't helped him at all.

He already found himself incredibly uncomfortable physically, a part of his body having unfortunately gotten excited in a very awkward position, and now he felt a little…pinched. He had had to shift his sitting position, trying to ease the sensation. That had helped. A bit.

And now he had to deal with what felt like a very soft, silky, strangely furry, presence that was… _rubbing_ up against his mind, inside of Ren's mind, and it felt like a caress, in the strangest, most oddly arousing way possible, and he had absolutely no idea what to do with it. So he just sat there, dumbfounded, and waited for Ren to wrestle control back. It didn't seem to be going very well. Her mind was full of broken up nasty words as she mostly just tried to mentally shove the horny feline back into her cage.

 **Ren POV**

" _Goddammit cat. You little…would you just let us finish what we have to do! Would you stop that! For the love of…that feels so…Stop it I said! It feels too weird!_

"I am so sorry Gaara, I can't even imagine how this feels to you." I spoke and thought at the two of them, irritated and apologetic.

Gaara weakly nodded, and I noted the way his cheeks were flushed now. _Whoops._ That was totally not my fault. I kinda wished it was though, because it was pretty awesome, super cute and super sexy at the same time.

 _ **See, you're enjoying this too. Why don't you both just take a little break and fuck? We'd all feel better trust me.**_

I groaned and face palmed, but not before I noticed Gaara flinch nearly violently and his eyes widen impossibly wider. His breath hissed in on a gasp.

" _Kitty!"_ I yelped, beyond embarrassed and feeling my face burn hot. Gaara was also blushing bright red.

"Does she…say stuff like that a lot?" Gaara asked, his voice breathy and rough. He looked like he might pass out.

"Yes unfortunately. Welcome to my world. It's a little more perverted than you might think." I groaned, sighing defeatedly.

 _For the millionth time, we are not going to be doing that right now, so just stop it please._ I added, addressing Kitty.

Gaara twitched. "The millionth time?"

"Oh, you can hear me?" I flushed.

"Yes. Obviously." He said, apparently having recovered his sardonic sense of humor somewhere.

"Oh boy, this is going to be embarrassing." I sighed. "Well, just try not to listen in."

He blinked, obviously not making any promises. But I simply couldn't waste any time on him at the moment. I had to get Kitty under control.

 _Stop it. Stop it right now. We have to finish this jutsu, otherwise it won't stick._

 _ **You're just a prude and don't want to have sex.**_

Gaara's non-brows rose.

 _That is not true and you know it, so shut up and go away please, you fucking pervert._

 _ **True. You think all kinds of naughty thoughts about him without me around.**_

I flushed and Gaara's expression changed again to shock and a blush stained his cheeks a little. Then his head cocked to the side and he grew contemplative, and I could see a teeny tiny smug curl of his lips.

I groaned, my face tomato red. _You damn cat…you're intentionally trying to embarrass me aren't you?_

 _ **Of course. But I also want him to tackle you, so I figured if he knew that you thought about him all the time and …**_

 _Shut up._

… _ **undressed him mentally…**_

 _Shut up!_

 _ **And nearly passed out when you saw his upper half naked and couldn't think about anything else for a solid week…**_

 _Shut up I said!_

 _ **Not to mention what his smell does to you…**_

 _I'm going to strangle you if you don't shut up right now!_

 _ **And what you did with his towel…**_

 _Shut UP!_

 _ **I mean stealing his towel for his scent was a brilliant idea…**_

 _SHUT UP!_

 _ **And training with it so you could stand to be in a room with him without wanting to fuck him silly in front of everyone worked really well…**_

 _GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKING CAT!_

 _ **But it left both of us so sexually frustrated that you wanted to kill everyone, so really, it wasn't the smartest plan. You should have just kept doing what you did the first time.**_

 _THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!_

I smacked the side of my head with my palm so hard it made my ears ring and Kitty finally fell blissfully silent. It also nearly tossed Gaara out but thankfully he was able to hold on. While Kitty was still reeling, I mentally grabbed her and tossed her behind a wall, fortifying it until there was no way for her to get back out. She hissed and snarled, but overall she just huffed and I could feel a wave of smugness radiating from her, and knew she was exceptionally pleased with what she had managed to accomplish.

And then I groaned, feeling like my head was about to split open, both from the headache that I got from her and her impromptu reveal all, the smack upside the head, the intense heat burning my face making the blood pound in my ears, and everything else.

I tentatively slitted my eyes open to see Gaara's very strange expression. He looked like he didn't know whether to be amused, aroused, shocked, confused, and possibly irritated.

"Is there any chance you didn't hear that?"

He shook his head.

"Damn." I sighed and groaned.

There was a long pause. "I already knew you stole my towel." He said in a gruff matter-of-fact way.

I blinked at him. "How?"

"Your scent was in my room. And on the fresh towel." He said casually and then shrugged.

"Oh. Whoops. Now I feel a little stupid." I grumbled.

"My scent obviously bothered you. I'm glad you were able to use my towel to desensitize. It was a smart plan."

I flushed. "Your scent didn't bother me. It just…"

"I know."

"Right." I sighed and worked on trying not to be embarrassed. I mean we were a couple now, so it didn't exactly matter that he knew I found his scent and body attractive.

After a minute I managed to calm down. "We should probably continue." I sighed.

Gaara nodded and I felt his presence in my mind take a stronger hold again, becoming a much more intense sensation. I still had him boxed into that little room, and he immediately started pushing those boundaries as he tried to quickly set up a connection.

A few minutes in, he huffed, "I need a little more room to work with Ren. I can't set up a proper connection with the space you've given me."

That had also been in the manual. The first time the jutsu was activated, a permanent connection was established, like a telephone line of chakra between our two minds, and the stronger the line, the clearer the connection and the greater the amount of physical space we would be able to communicate across.

"Right." I mumbled. I tried to widen the space he was in, but it was proving difficult.

He made a very small, frustrated sound, sort of like a growl, and suddenly his presence flexed inside of my mind and I flinched. "Woah! Stop! Too much."

His presence was immense inside of my mind, his personality so intense, and his chakra practically burning me as he worked on setting up that connection. I could feel it very distinctly, his spicy, hot chakra planting itself inside of that little room firmly and setting up a permanent residence. But it was just so difficult for me to sit still and let him do it. His mind was a very powerful thing, and it was like he was trying to shove his whole consciousness inside of mine, and that just wasn't going to work with me.

I huffed, getting a little fed up with his pushing and prodding and trying to fit more of himself inside my mind than I was comfortable with. "Would you stop it Gaara? You're trying to shove too much of yourself in at once, and that just isn't going to work for me! It's not going to all fit, so don't even try!"

And then I bit my tongue, literally, as my eyes popped open. I just heard what I had said, and what it had sounded like, and my wide eyes met Gaara's. "Oh good lord." I sputtered, and then started laughing.

Gaara joined my hysterical laugh with that low chuckle of his, the mirth bright in his eyes as we both absorbed the ridiculousness of the situation. The laughter helped me to relax some, and actually, I felt better about the whole thing. So much so, that I found it much easier to relax the boundaries I had boxed him in with and let him take up a little more space in my mind to set up the communication line.

"Alright, please continue." I sighed as I finished chuckling.

His lips twitched in amusement as he set to finalizing the connection. "There, done." He murmured and withdrew. I sighed in relief as his massive self was removed. I could feel the connection that had been set up, almost like a little tingly bit of Gaara's chakra glued permanently in my mind, but it was much easier to deal with that the whole kit and caboodle.

"Shall we test it?" He asked calmly, though I could still hear the amusement in his tone.

"Sure." I said, curious about it myself.

Gaara made the hand signs and I felt a little charge of chakra zing in my mind as the connection as activated. And then I heard Gaara's mental voice in my head. It was very strange, because there was no sound, so it didn't have the sound of Gaara's voice, but it was still very much him, in the cadence of the thought, and the little bit of emotion sent along with it.

" _Does it work?"_ He thought at me, a hint of amusement still evident.

I jerked, hearing him in my mind, but not audible and not seeing his lips move.

"Oh yeah. It works." I said.

He grinned. _"Good."_ And there was satisfaction, and a little smugness now in the thought.

" _ **Do you think she can hear me?"**_ I heard a very different sort of thought come across the connection, and saw Gaara frown, slightly irritably. I froze, recognizing the feeling of sandy darkness that came with this new thought. It was very different from Gaara's thoughts. It felt like black velvet, like an evil purr in my mind. Well, not so much evil, as it was darkly mischievous. Kitty sat up and took notice.

My eyes grew wide. "Was that Shukaku just now?" I asked tentatively.

Gaara blinked. "Yes. Unfortunately."

" _ **YES!"**_ We both winced at the loud exclamation that reverberated in both our minds.

"Is he always this…loud?" I whined.

"Not always." Gaara grumbled. And then I felt the connection deactivate. The chakra buzz that I had felt when it was opened went away, just leaving that tingle that I suspected would always be there now. The connection wasn't severed, but we couldn't communicate as long as it was off.

Then Gaara winced again and grabbed his head, looking a little pissed off.

"Did he yell at you?" I inquired.

"Yes."

I winced, knowing how unpleasant that was. "I'm sorry."

He grumbled.

"Well, I guess it's my turn now." Gaara nodded and I consulted the manual again for the hand signs to set up the initial connection. They were much more complicated, so I did them slowly and methodically to make sure I didn't mess up. It was strange, as I finished the jutsu I became much more aware of Gaara, of his presence, and once finished it was like I suddenly knew exactly where he was, and how to get to him. I sent a tendril of thought along that invisible pathway that was suddenly so clear to me now and then my mind bumped up against him. I recognized him from the previous contact, his presence so much more intense now that I was the one seeking him out, and now that it was his mind I was seeking entrance to.

I tentatively pressed against a barrier, not able to gain immediate access. I had my eyes open and I could see Gaara twitch as he felt me. He blinked. I pressed harder. He blinked again.

I sighed and closed my eyes, doing my mental picturing again, and was not exactly surprised by what I saw. It looked mentally like Gaara's mind was cocooned and protected by a wall of sand, much like his impenetrable defense.

"Gaara, your wall looks like sand. Can you try to do what I did and make a little door for me?"

I opened my eyes in time to see him nod his head. I kept up the pressure in that one spot, knowing that had helped with me. He gritted his teeth, and seemed to be having some difficulty, but eventually a small opening appeared in the sandy defense. I tentatively reached forward with my mind, entering in that little crack and immediately found out why he had gasped when he had been in the same position.

This was a totally different sort of intimate. Instead of having the invasiveness of his presence inside of my mind and taking up too much space, it was like I was being enveloped into him, and that was overwhelming in a completely different sort of way. I shuddered. This was turning into something completely weird and sexual. I had not expected this when we started out.

I took a deep breath. "…okay then…" I said weakly.

I started small, just barely inside of his mind, really hesitant to go further than that. Just this little bit of contact was intoxicating, and I didn't know if I could handle what I had to do now.

"Why is this so difficult?" I groaned. "Both ways too."

I wasn't deep enough into his mind to know what he thought about it, but I could feel the amused response I got from my comment.

"I wouldn't know, since your presence is so small." He mumbled almost teasingly.

I took it as a challenge. "Alright wise guy." I grumbled. I took a big deep breath and steeled my nerves, sending my mind into his, all business now, searching for an appropriate spot for the connection to be made. I could feel a surge of discomfort and shock come from his mind in response.

Gaara gasped audibly, and when I opened my eyes I could see that his were now squeezed shut. "What's wrong Gaara? You look a little uncomfortable." I teased, my voice hoarse.

He squinted one eye open and glared a little, his mind both amused and irritated by my teasing. "You were right. It is… _uncomfortable_."

"A little invasive right?"

"…yes."

I nodded, satisfied, and closed my eyes, still searching for the right place. Gaara had boxed me in, similarly to the way I had done to him, so I set up shop there. I began attaching lines of chakra into the 'wall' I was presented with, essentially embedding bits of my own chakra into the chakra network inside his brain so that there would be connections that I could easily attach a line of chakra to, ones that we could communicate with.

And he had been right before, it felt cramped in the little space he gave me, but I tried to work with what I had. As I set up the connection though, the further along I got, the more space I needed, and eventually I had to expand my mental presence inside his mind. I felt him wince on the bed and heard him cussing inside his head, which I found quite amusing since he rarely cussed aloud. I could feel his discomfort, both physically and emotionally, felt his irritation as I expanded my presence, felt the way it overwhelmed him, and I felt his arousal. I knew he had probably sensed similar things from me when he had been the one doing this.

"Almost done." I soothed, trying to get him to just calm down already. His frazzled nerves were making it difficult for me to concentrate on the task at hand.

And then bad things happened.

Suddenly there was something dark and sandy creeping into my little space.

"Um…Gaara…?" I muttered, a little nervous.

"On it." He said between his teeth, obviously trying to hold back Shukaku.

He failed.

 _ **Hello there pretty thing.**_

 _Get back here you damn Tanuki!_ I heard Gaara growl mentally.

Oh this was so bad. I stiffened, but couldn't withdraw half-assed, because the jutsu would be unstable. So I hustled to finish. And all the while I could feel Shukaku creeping up on me, stalking me from the shadows inside Gaara's mind.

"Could you stop distracting me Raccoon-Boy? I'm trying to do a job here." I said through gritted teeth, knowing he would hear.

A deep, menacing chuckle echoed mentally inside the space my mind currently occupied. _**But this is so much fun. Don't stop what you're doing sweetheart. Just relax, I won't bite.**_

I flinched, and then grumbled, "Yeah right, you've bit me before."

Gaara flinched, surprised, but I didn't have time to explain because Shukaku was laughing. _**Oh yes, this is what I like about you. I love that sharp tongue of yours…I can think of a few thing I would like to do with it in fact.**_

 _Goddammit Shukaku, you creepy pervert. Shut up and leave Ren alone, she's fucking busy._ Gaara snarled mentally.

I knew what was going to happen, or I suspected anyway. I kind of figured Shukaku might bite me or something, probably something painful. I tried to finish before he got the chance to chomp on my mental probe, really not wanting part of my mind to go missing because Shukaku had severed it or something.

I was just attaching the last strand and finished, ready to withdraw, when he pounced. I gasped as mental claws dug into my mental body inside that little room in Gaara's head. It hurt a little, but what was more frightening was the way it kept me from leaving, trapping me there inside Gaara's mind.

I heard Gaara growl deeply, and knew he was fighting with the Raccoon-Dog, but he didn't seem to be making great headway.

 _Stop it Shukaku_! Gaara mentally growled, and I shivered in Shukaku's grasp, both frightened and a little excited by the dark menacing intent inside Gaara's order. This was freaking intense, being inside his head and pinned down by Shukaku, while feeling the anger and darkness ramping up in Gaara himself.

 _ **Why? You like her being here as much as I do. Just let me keep her.**_

I whined, disturbed.

And then Shukaku did to me what Kitty had done to Gaara inside my head, and he wrapped his dark velvety, somewhat sandy presence around my mental body, caressing me in such a way that I didn't know whether I was desperately aroused, or desperately terrified, or just simply desperate. It was too much contact. Way too much contact. I gasped and nearly fell over.

I stared blankly at the covers on the bed as I listened to Gaara's hissed mental response.

 _Let her go!_

 _ **No! I've wanted this for too long! You keep me away from her! You keep US away from her!**_

 _We can't just steal a piece of her, we can't keep her here in our head!_

 _ **I don't want to steal a piece of her. I want to steal HER. Let's just lock her to us like this, keep her tied to us.**_

 _That's impossible. We wouldn't be able to go anywhere at all like that._

 _ **Fuck. You're too goddamn logical. Can't you just loosen up a little pup?**_

 _Not when it comes to Ren's mental health and wellbeing!_

 _ **It's not like you haven't been mind-fucking her all these years. I mean stalking her, and fucking with her head, and sparing with her so you could pin her down, you haven't been treating her with kid gloves you know.**_

 _Fuck off you damn animal._

 _ **Hey, you're the one that likes mounting her so much.**_

 _Yeah but you've fucking bitten her before, and licked her too. And now you're holding her hostage in our head with your goddam claws. So just give it a rest and let her go already._

 _ **I don't wanna.**_

 _LET HER GO!_

 _ **Make me.**_

I flinched and groaned as Shukaku's grasp tightened and he rubbed against me aggressively, torn between pain and arousal in a very strange way. Okay, I had had enough now.

I opened my eyes and glared. "Look. I appreciate your fondness and all, Shukaku. I think it's really sweet that you like me that much. With our new communication system we might even be able to chat now and then. But seriously, you and I both know you can't just hang on to me like this, so let me go, or I'm gonna pop you in the nose."

I felt Shukaku's feral grin inside Gaara's head. _**You're so fun to play with. Alright honey, take your best shot.**_

I shrugged. "Sorry Gaara."

I knelt and crouched, then lunged, feeling my mind warp a little as I moved physically though space. I punched Gaara square in the face, knocking him off the bed, and Shukaku's claws were shaken loose. I immediately scampered back to my own mind and safety.

Gaara stood, rubbing his cheek that was already looking a little red and puffy. He gave me a look, both apologetic and a little cranky.

"It's the only thing I could think of." I said, sorry that I had to punch him.

"It worked." He said monotonely, still rubbing his cheek.

"Sorry." I got up off the bed and reached up to put my hand over his on his cheek.

His eyes softened and at the same time grew more intense. He ducked his head and captured my hand at the same time, his lips grazing across mine. I gasped, still a little shaken from the whole mental experience. He drew back, and his eyes gazed down into my own so intensely I felt like I was burning.

 _Oh boy._ Thankfully Gaara was able to control himself and stepped away from me. If he had kissed me again, I didn't think I would have been able to stop myself from pouncing on him with as volatile as I felt right now.

"I should probably go. It's late." I mumbled, glancing at the clock.

Gaara nodded.

"Well, goodnight then." I saluted him and scampered out of his door, down the hall and then escaped into the safety of my rooms.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So...A new and interesting power for them both, and strengthening their bond. Woohoo! And some humor and awkwardness as usual, gotta love these two.


	68. Burn With Me: Chapter 42 & 43

The next several weeks easily fell into a comfortable routine. I now lived right next to him, our apartment doors only separated by maybe ten feet of blank wall space. I got up when he did, followed him around all day, and then went to bed when he did. It was a little exhausting, the guy just never stopped.

For the first week we also practiced our new shared jutsu. As we were working, or going places we started communicating silently with each other here and there, getting a feel for it. We only did it occasionally, because it was pretty intense and always ran the risk of either Kitty or Shukaku getting in a naughty word in edgewise that would inevitably embarrassed the heck out of us.

We were working so hard though that we didn't have a lot of private time together, aside from the time spent in his office. And there was no way we were getting up to any shenanigans in there, because anyone could walk in at any time. It took a good few weeks for Gaara to even begin to get control of all the piled up work that had just been sitting there and accumulating for the entire time the Sand Village had lacked a Kazekage.

He was very persistent though, and it didn't take as much time as I would have expected for him to actually start to finish a little earlier in the day. Like around 10 PM versus 2 AM. I was with him of course, all the time, since I was his body guard. Even though we didn't get to do many couples type activities, like going on dates, or even spending lots of private time together, I still felt much more content. Just being around Gaara was enough for me.

For now.

It was another week before Gaara finally had his desk somewhat clean and organized, and we finally had a little more time to spend doing other things. One day, maybe three weeks after I had become his bodyguard, he put down his pen and stood from his desk. I was busy reading, so I didn't pay too much attention to him as he moved around. It wasn't until he stood in front of me, that I glanced up, surprised. It was only 6, and the sun hadn't even set yet.

I cocked my head to the side, looking up at him curiously. "What's up? Aside from you of course."

"I'm going to go and inspect the village." Gaara intoned, looking like he was supremely eager to get out of the office. A sentiment I understood keenly.

"Inspect the village?" I inquired, a little confused by what he meant.

"All the facilities." He clarified.

"I see. Is this a new thing that we're going to be doing?" I hoped so. It would be a nice change of pace.

"Yes."

"How often?" I asked eagerly.

"Every few days."

"Cool."

I was very happy about this. It meant we could get out of the office and do stuff. I hopped up, eager to be off. We walked out and I followed him as he did a large circuit all the way around the village. Everyone that we ran into bowed and greeted him with great respect. It was then that I fully realized he had truly become the Kazekage I knew he could be, and finally everyone saw him the way I did, as the most wonderful man in the world. There was still a tiny bit of nervousness now and then in the attitude or gaze of someone, but for the large part, most of the people we ran into were just happy to see him and gave him the utmost respect. I felt my heart swell with pride and happiness, knowing that this had been his dream for so long, and to see it come to fruition filled me with joy.

After walking around for an hour, Gaara simply looking at everything to make sure there weren't any issues that he could address. And he did address a few issues we ran into as we walked along. He assisted a neighborhood that had complained about a nasty pothole in the middle of the road last week, by repaving that part of the road with his sand. He mediated a dispute between several store owners. He talked to the head of the barracks and adjusted the ordering of furniture so that if a piece of furniture was broken it could be replaced right away. He talked to the person in charge of constructing the new section of the school. He made sure that the greenhouses were stocked for the hospital's needs.

And all the while, I tailed him and grew more and more proud to be there by his side. He had obviously already made a huge difference in the village in his short time as Kazekage. Everyone he talked to was extremely grateful for the help he gave them, and as he made sure everything was up to standard, people rushed to show him around, praising him for this or that, that he had done to help something or other to be accomplished. All that paperwork had paid off.

After a very full and satisfying day, Gaara paused, stretched, and looked around. Then he looked at me and asked, "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Hm? Oh, you mean like a date?" I blinked, grinning.

"Yes."

"Sure."

So we went out to eat, Gaara picking another sit-down restaurant I hadn't ever been to before, though I had heard good things about it. As soon as we entered, the owner of the restaurant went absolutely nuts, exclaiming, "Lord Kazekage! Welcome!" and we were immediately seated in a semi-private alcove in the back. A very expensive bottle of Saki was brought to the table, and an appetizer plate was set down as the senior server bowed and handed us our menus.

I did my best to go with the flow, but the treatment we were receiving was so out of my area of experience that I wasn't entirely sure how to react to it. I mainly just tried to be polite and not say a whole lot. Once we were left by ourselves to read the menu, I turned to Gaara, blinking a little in shock and said, "…wow. So, have you gotten used to this yet?"

"Not entirely." He responded.

We read our menus in silence, or rather I did, Gaara was quick to decide as always, and set down his menu, simply staring at me unblinkingly in that unnerving way of his. As soon as both our menus hit the table a server popped out of nowhere, took our orders, and ran off. I knew we were probably being watched closely by the servers, to make sure we didn't run out of water or anything, and so I activated our mind communication line, so I could talk to Gaara with some privacy.

 _This is fun…we haven't been able to just hang out like this in a while._

Gaara twitched, and sent me a look, amusement making his eyes sparkle. I felt the buzz in my head that told me he had likewise activated his communication line. _Indeed. Why are we talking like this?_

I grinned. _Well…since this is a date, I wanted to be able to talk to you without being overheard._

His lips twitched a little, obviously finding it very humorous. _I see. And what did you want to talk about, that you didn't want to be overheard?_

There was a certain quality in his mind's voice that let me know he was thinking some naughty thoughts, a very particular kind of teasing lilt. I flushed and playfully scowled at him. _Probably nothing like what you're thinking about._

 _And what am I thinking about?_ His very subtle grin widened just a little.

 _Probably something that would make me blush to say, so I'm not going to try and guess._

 _ **Smart girl.**_ I jumped at the dark, sandy presence that inserted itself into our conversation. Gaara's non-brows crinkled up slightly in aggravation.

 _Shukaku! What woke you up?_ I asked, a tad surprised. I had become a bit more comfortable with him ever since we set up this communication line. Sometimes, when we were conversing, he would suddenly interrupt us, usually with something inappropriate. The first few times had unnerved me, but I had slowly become accustomed to his sandy, mischievous, often crude input.

 _ **Let me think…probably the dirty thoughts going through Gaara's head.**_

I flushed, Gaara scowled and also turned a little pink, and Kitty perked up. _Um…okay. That's…well, there's really nothing I can say about that that won't have me turning tomato red, so I think I'll just ignore it._ I thought, embarrassed and amused at the same time.

Shukaku's laughter rung through our communication lines. And then cut off abruptly when a new voice spoke up. _**Well I don't have that problem…and I would very much like to know what that lovely red-head is thinking about.**_

My jaw dropped open, Gaara's eyes widened, and we traded shocked looks. While both our inner animals had spoken up from time to time, they had never addressed each other directly before, and frankly I hadn't even known it was possible.

I accidently projected my disturbed thoughts. _Oh shit, this isn't gonna be good._

Gaara blinked. _Agreed._

We nodded and both tried to shut off our communication lines, but they crackled and little surges of Kitty's and Shukaku's chakra zipped along the lines, keeping them open. Gaara and I traded somewhat panicked looks, this having never happened before. Apparently the two had been so interested in the conversation that they had figured out how work the jutsu by themselves.

It was at this moment that the food arrived, and we did our very best to hide our crazy situation, and the server thankfully left quickly.

 _ **Well, hello there Ryutsuki.**_ Shukaku delightedly greeted her, his excitement surging through the link.

She just purred in response and then asked her question again. Which made Gaara choke just a little on the food he was valiantly trying to consume, despite the situation.

 _ **You want to know what's going on in here? Why don't you come on over and see for yourself?**_

 _What?! I don't know what you're thinking Shukaku, but that's impossible._ Gaara expressed his opinion, sounding just a tad concerned.

 _ **Is it now?**_ Shukaku asked, just a little too smugly, and suddenly I felt the communication line widen substantially, and both Gaara and I gasped as our respective head renters took over the connection entirely, their chakra surging inside us. Food became the last thing on our minds, although we pretended to eat for the sake of the servers that we knew had to be watching.

I felt Kitty rise up in my mind and a little bit of her consciousness came up to my end of the connection. She investigated it for a second and then I felt her somehow transfer herself through the link, traveling to Gaara's mind. I gasped, and sent Gaara a warning. _I don't know how, but Kitty's coming your way!_

 _What?! Oh shi…_ His thought cut off abruptly, although I got plenty of transferred emotions and feelings from him. Shock and confusion crackled through our connection, and discomfort. There was no telling how Kitty and Shukaku greeted each other, but I heard Shukaku say, _**Now then…**_ And Gaara's staticky transferred emotions changed into nervousness, and then a good amount of frustration along with mounting arousal. I had no idea what Kitty was doing to him, but whatever it was had his cheeks flushing, his eyes darkening, and his jaw clenching spastically. He looked like he was doing his best to mask his response, but it wasn't working very well.

I heard some thoughts coming from our conversing beasts, mostly things that made no sense to me, since I didn't know what they were talking about.

 _ **Perhaps this would interest you.**_ That was Shukaku.

 _ **Oh…I like that very much.**_ I recognized Kitty's purr.

 _ **Let's see if I can make him…Ah. There we go.**_ It sounded like Shukaku was actively trying to get Gaara to think about certain things.

 _ **Well now…seems like he isn't as innocent as I thought. Excellent… very hot. You should see Ren's fantasies. She comes up with some pretty interesting things too.**_ Kitty was having way too much fun at poor Gaara's expense. He groaned very softly and brought a hand up to rub his brow. Immediately the server popped in, asking if we needed anything. We both said 'no thank you,' and I was impressed that Gaara somehow managed to mask his expression once again, though that didn't last long.

I could still hear them going at it, Kitty making all kinds of pleased and surprised exclamations and Shukaku sounding like he was giving her the grand tour. Some of her exclamations caught my attention, like when she said, _**Oh. OH! I never would have thought he that this would be in his mind. How kinky.**_ But mostly I did my best to not listen in, knowing that Gaara was having a rough time as it was, without me eavesdropping.

 **Gaara POV**

At Ren's warning he tensed, anticipating her creature's arrival. He didn't have a chance to prepare though, because she was in almost as soon as Ren finished speaking. His head felt a little too full at that point, and he would have politely asked her to leave, but he wasn't given the opportunity. Shukaku and the feline creature, whose name was apparently Ryutsuki, immediately converged, and greeted each other with some very inappropriate stroking up against each other. He winced, feeling a tad uncomfortable with that.

And then things got so much worse, as Shukaku grabbed Ryutsuki and dragged her into Gaara's thoughts. Shukaku then proceeded to prod and poke him and dig around in all his thoughts and memories, pulling out all the dirtiest things that Gaara had thought about, and all the most erotic memories and fantasies. And Gaara was left spinning in his own head as all sorts of arousing thoughts, images, and feelings were roused in him, and all he could do was grit his teeth and try to get control of himself.

He honestly had no idea how Shukaku and Ryutsuki were doing this, but he very much wanted it to stop, because this was definitely not the time or place for these sorts of things to be going through his head. Although, perhaps it was a good thing that this had happened in a public setting, because if he had been alone in his bedroom with Ren, he might have lost control and done some things that he knew she wasn't ready for.

 _Would you please stop?_ He finally managed to think at the two of them, just a tad desperately.

 **Ren POV**

When Gaara asked them to stop, I added, _Come on Kitty. I think you've tortured him enough, why don't you go ahead and come back?_

 _ **Oh well…if you insist.**_ There was something I didn't like in her tone, a certain mischievousness that put my guard up, but I was relieved at her easy agreement, even if it did set off a few alarms. Gaara breathed a sigh of relief, and I assumed Kitty must be on her way back to my head. And then his eyes popped open wide and he barely had a chance to think urgently, _Watch out Ren!_ before Kitty was back in my head. Along with Shukaku.

I sucked in my breath, my eyes glazing over in shock. _Oh dear._

 _Ren…Are you okay? Did Shukaku…?_ I heard Gaara ask mentally, sounding worried, and like he hadn't recovered from his ordeal, since there was still a lot of arousal and aggravation in his thoughts.

… _yes…_ I managed to weakly think back, unable to muster up much more than that. I supposed this was what Gaara had just been dealing with, and suddenly I knew why he had at first looked so uncomfortable. My head immediately felt a bit congested with the extra mind. And then I understood Gaara's other feelings that had overlapped our connection, as Kitty started showing off to Shukaku.

She was digging around in my head, and presenting all the worst possible things to Shukaku, all the inappropriate things I had thought about Gaara, all the desires and fantasies I had had, all the most arousing things that had crossed my mind. It was one of the most humiliating, irritating, and arousing experiences I had been forced to go through.

I was a little more verbal about it than Gaara had been. Chewing the two of them out, instead of getting shocked and freezing up. _What the hell? Get the fuck out of my head Shukaku. Goddammit Kitty. Crap. Would you stop it? Stop it right now. Stop it I said. Get your grubby paws out of my head Shukaku. Hey! Don't look at that! Or that! Or any of it! Just … for crying out loud! You two are the most irritating obstinate creatures I have ever had the displeasure of meeting! Enough is enough!_

Gaara watched with obvious sympathy. Eventually Shukaku seemed to get his fill of my naughty thoughts and returned to Gaara, leaving me red face, furious, and turned on as heck. _That was unnecessary!_ I mentally shouted at him, and he laughed.

Finally though, we were able to eat in relative peace and cut off the communication line. But before we did I announced, _Now see here Kitty, and you too Shukaku, I'm going to put up some sort of barrier jutsu to prevent you guys from doing that ever again. Because that was just downright rude._

 _ **I wouldn't do that if I were you. After all, if we can communicate and transfer across the connection, it means that we can lend our chakra to both of you. I can lend my chakra to you, Ren.**_ Shukaku announced, making me stall.

 _ **And I can lend mine to Gaara.**_ Kitty likewise announced. Gaara and I both blinked, surprised.

 _Well, alright. Fine. But if either of you pull a stunt like that again I'm cutting you off. Okay?_

Gaara added, _I agree. And I know just where to find a jutsu that would make a barrier._

Both animals agreed, although I was sure they would probably stretch the rules a bit if given the chance. After that we were able to converse pleasantly, as Gaara and I slowly calmed down, and the end of the meal was actually quite fun and pleasant. Once we had finished, we went back to the Kazekage tower.

It had been so nice to spend time with him like this, as a couple instead of as a bodyguard and Kazekage. We had both been so busy for the few weeks, that we had only been able to steal a few kisses and embraces here and there, being super careful. Neither of us wanted to have our relationship discovered right away, because it would only cause complications and people would inevitably question my status as his bodyguard. Of course, the guards probably already knew, considering they had seen me coming and going from his apartments at all hours of the night and day, but we could always explain that away as work. Potentially. If we had to.

Eventually of course they would find out, but hopefully, it would have been long enough by then that it would seem like we had simply grown closer over time, and maybe then people would think it had happened after I had become his bodyguard, instead of before. It would be better if they didn't know that it had been a big reason in why I had become his bodyguard in the first place. So we had been very careful. And it had driven me mildly nuts to not be able to really be with him for that long.

Apparently though, Gaara had also reached his limit and said _fuck it_ , because later that night, after nightfall, when I was getting ready for bed, I felt a buzz in my head. The little charge of chakra let me know that Gaara was activating the communication line.

" _Ren, meet me in my rooms."_

I blinked, surprised and a little concerned. I formed the simple hand signs to activate my communication line. " _Are you okay?"_ I asked, worried that something was wrong for him to call me at this time of night.

" _Yes. Come."_ Was his brisk reply.

" _Okaaaaay. On my way."_ I huffed mentally, thoroughly bemused by the summons.

I dressed hurriedly again, and walked over to his rooms, ignoring the guards, and entered his apartments. I had the foresight to grab a scroll off my bedside table, just for appearances sake, so it would look like I was going over there to work.

"Okay. What's with the late night summons?" I asked as soon as I closed the door behind me.

I only just managed to get the words out before Gaara grabbed my face and pulled me in for an exuberant kiss. I gasped, shocked. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth, making me make a very muffled and confused sort of sound in my throat. Soon though, I was absorbed by the kiss, and sighed, giving up on getting any answers out of him at the moment and simply decided to enjoy myself. I relaxed and wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him just a little closer.

He rumbled deep in his chest and suddenly my back met the wall as the kiss intensified. I arched and kissed him back, our lips moving roughly together and making wet sorts of sounds. After a moment he pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine, our panted breathing mixing between our now parted lips.

"So…what was that about…?" I panted, licking my tingly lips.

"…missed you…" Gaara eventually panted back.

I grinned. And then I yawned unable to help myself. He chuckled.

"It's late. Would you spend the night and sleep here?" Gaara murmured, his lips lightly brushing against my own as he whispered.

"Sleep here?" I whispered back, surprised by the request.

"I would like to hold you." He answered, dipping in to kiss me again, more softly, tenderly gliding his lips across my own in small gentle motions.

I mphed, my response muffled by his lips on my own. I enjoyed the light caresses of his lips against mine for a moment, and then he pulled back to hear my response. "Sure. I always sleep better when you're there anyways."

I felt his lips curl against mine in a soft smile, and then he pulled away, and let me step away from the wall. I caught myself yawning again as my body said, ' _time to go to bed dammit_!' "Sorry." I mumbled, sleepily after yawning.

Gaara shook his head. "Don't be. You're tired."

"Yep." I walked over to the bed, and glanced back at him. "You sure this is okay?"

He blinked and his lips curled a little. "I asked you. Remember?"

"Oh right." I chuckled and slid under the covers.

The lights went off, probably turned off by his sand from somewhere, and I felt the bed shift as he slid in beside me. I tensed just a little, for some reason just a tad nervous. I realized that I still had on my hastily thrown on pants, underneath my big baggy sleep shirt. I squirmed out of them, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep with them on. And besides, my sleep shirt went down to mid-thigh, and I had on my underwear, so it wasn't as though it was indecent or anything. I pulled the pants off my legs after some contortions and then pulled them out from under the covers to toss on the floor somewhere. I settled back into bed and lay down, getting comfortable.

I lay on my side, my head on the pillow, and then I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder and flinched, just a little from surprise. His fingers lightly stroked my shoulder, and then followed the curve of my body, down my ribs and then over my hip. He trailed them back up and I shivered, wondering if he was trying to initiate something else, something besides just sleeping.

His palm flattened right at the curve of my waist, and then slid around to my stomach, tugging me firmly back into the curve of his body. I gasped lightly, as the full contact came across my senses. My now bare legs felt the soft material of whatever sleep pants he wore to bed. It definitely felt soft like pajama pants, not like the slightly stiffer material of his black pants that he wore underneath that red coat of his.

I tensed, but he just hugged me closer and then I felt the soft sensation of his lips brushing the back of my neck in a very gentle kiss. "Go to sleep Ren." He whispered softly.

I sighed and relaxed into his embrace, realizing he wasn't trying to initiate anything, but really just wanted to cuddle. Although, judging by what felt like something rather stiff pressing against my tailbone, he probably wouldn't be opposed to the idea. I blushed, and found myself grateful for the darkness as I tried to ignore what was obviously an erection, knowing he probably couldn't help it. My body warmed, as the thoughts sparked a reaction in my own body, but I was simply too tired to do anything about the sleepy arousal.

Eventually I just grew used to it, and after a while it felt like the hardness slowly went away, which was frankly a little more comfortable for me. Having a hard-on pressed against your behind, alongside your tailbone and lowermost spine was actually kinda uncomfortable, and it had been a little difficult for me to keep myself from squirming to try and find a more comfortable position. But I figured that would have just made it worse anyway, so I had restrained myself.

It took a while, but I was slowly lulled to sleep by the sound of his deep, even breaths, and the warm, moist air puffing against the back of my neck, and by the intense warmth of his body pressed up against me. And I slept mostly peacefully, only having a few somewhat fitful dreams to disturb my sleep, and every time I woke Gaara was there to sooth me back to sleep with soft words and kisses.

It was frankly quite wonderful. I could easily get used to it. But then, I suspected that as soon as I got used to sleeping with him, my nightmares would find a way to come back, so maybe it was better to keep it from happening too often. I really didn't want him to have to experience what I went through on a regular basis; all that horror was no fun.

The next day, I woke to Gaara chewing on my ear. The sensation was incredibly strange, and as I pulled myself out of sleep, I couldn't decide if the feeling was painful, ticklish, or arousing. At any rate, I decided that I liked it, but I was also incredibly confused by his doing it in the first place.

"What are you doing, Gaara?" I mumbled sleepily, my voice semi-muffled by the pillow.

He didn't respond, only nipped my earlobe a little harder.

I groaned, the little spike of pain and pleasure waking me up a little more, which irritated me a little bit. "Ow." I grumbled sleepily, and somewhat sarcastically.

He soothed my slightly sore earlobe with a lick, and I twitched at the wet silky feel of his tongue, kind of surprised, in a still very sleepy sort of way. He trailed kisses down my neck, and then nipped my shoulder.

"Why are you chewing on me? Are you hungry or something?" I huffed, my voice rough with sleep and I grunted, rubbing my face on the pillow and burrowing in deeper.

Gaara made a little growl that sounded both amused and exasperated. I snorted.

He went back up to my ear and bit the top part, this time getting my attention with the sharp little ping of pain. It didn't hurt too badly, and it still kind of felt good in a weird way, but it was definitely a Gaara way of demanding my attention. I growled.

My head popped up and I blearily glared at him. "What?!" I asked grumpily.

He blinked calmly at me. "It's time to get up." He said, matter-of-factly.

I frowned. "That's why you were nibbling on my ear?"

He cocked his head. "You didn't like it?" He asked, sounding as though he was taking notes.

"That's beside the point." I sighed, blushing a little and plopping my head back down on the pillow.

"So you did like it." He said, sounding a little smug.

"Yes…" I grumbled. "But like I said, that's beside the point."

"What's the point?" He asked, sounding thoroughly amused now.

"I don't know. I'm still asleep." I huffed.

He chuckled and kissed my neck again, his lips soft and gentle, but insistent.

I sighed. "Alright, alright. I'll get up now."

"Good."

We got up, had breakfast, and went to work. It was a regular day, paperwork, more paperwork, and then a council meeting, followed by more paperwork. I saw the twins off on a mission, waving goodbye and grinning broadly. They were supposed to go and retrieve a princess, transferring her safely from one place to another, and they had both been very excited about it. So everything was pretty normal and peaceful.

The only thing that stood out to me was the topic of discussion in the council meeting. During the meeting one of the council members mentioned the name 'Akatsuki,' and suddenly the chamber grew solemn. I had never heard of them before, or perhaps only in passing, but from the sound of it, they might grow to be a problem. Apparently they were some big bad group of uber-powerful ninja, and they had started to become more and more active. Apparently no-one knew what they were after, so that just seemed to make everyone even more nervous. I certainly didn't like the sound of that, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. _Boy was I wrong._

So we left that meeting feeling a little tense, but overall unconcerned.

Later, we were sitting in Gaara's office doing yet more paperwork, when his attention was suddenly drawn to the window. I snapped to attention, noting the way his eyes sharpened and he tensed. He was still in his white robes after the council meeting we had attended. He didn't seem overly fond of the big white garment, understandably, so he didn't really wear it unless he had to.

Suddenly, he stood and shed the robes, tossing them over the chair, and just as quickly donned his armor and straps over his red coat. I blinked, never having seen him strip and change in quite this manner before.

He summoned his gourd to his back. _Uh oh._

"What's wrong?" I asked, knowing that something had to be terribly wrong to have caused such a dramatic response.

"There's an intruder." Gaara said, his voice brisk, low, and all business.

"What?!" I yelped and quickly followed him out of the door and up the bunches of stairs to the roof. As soon as I looked up, I saw what Gaara had meant. There was a giant white bird circling above us, and on it there was someone perched. That was the freakiest looking thing I had ever seen.

"What the hell?" I muttered, utterly bemused by this intruder's style.

"…hm." Gaara made his Gaara sound, and I chuckled, knowing this guy was in for a big surprise.

As the guy came down lower and lower, and I got a good look at him, I was even more shocked. It was some pretty boy with a long blond ponytail. _Okaaaaay…this is a new kind of thing…I suppose I shouldn't underestimate him based on looks, but he sure looks pretty stupid._

I snorted. "Are you getting a good look at this guy Gaara? Looks like we've got a pretty boy on our hands."

Gaara slanted a look at me out of the corner of his eyes briefly before his eyes trained back on the enemy. A subtle smirk curled the edge of his lips for a split second and I knew he appreciated the dig.

After a few minutes of circling, Blondie jumped down onto the roof with us, landing rather gracefully and murmured to himself, "…infiltration successful." I almost busted out laughing when he actually took in his surroundings and noticed Gaara standing right in front of him, arms crossed, and giving him the hairy eyeball.

"That's as far as you go." Gaara intoned threateningly in his no-nonsense, monotone voice that said he was _not_ pleased.

The jerk actually grinned and said, " _ooooooooooohhh,_ " in kind of a snooty, mocking sort of way that said he wasn't worried at all. I growled, going from amused to ticked-off at the guy for being so disrespectful.

He grinned and then right as Gaara's sand was about to snatch him, he jumped into the air, landing neatly back on top of that stupid looking fake bird of his. _Damn._

Gaara immediately sent out a long spiraling stream of sand after him, tipped with a spearhead. He slid into his Taijutsu stance right away, showing just how strong this enemy was, and actively guided the sand with movements from his body, speeding it up substantially. I sucked in my breath, a little shocked. Gaara was obviously not messing around, and that meant his guy was bad news.

I activated our communication line. _"I'm going to speed up your sand, get ready."_ I thought to Gaara, and he nodded, showing he heard.

I took a stance and carefully guided a stream of wind around Gaara's sand. Our combined elements crackled and then combined, shooting through the sky towards the enemy with deadly speed and accuracy. He sped up too, but only was just barely able to dodge our attacks, and occasionally we were able to catch the edge of a wing or tail, enough to knock him off balance and send him spinning around in the air a little, but never enough for us to actually grab on. This guy was good, and it was getting annoying.

The stream of sand and wind chased the white bird almost out of the village before it doubled back and dove into the streets. I hissed and separated my wind from Gaara's sand, thinking, " _I'll see if I can slow him down from the front."_ And I sent my wind up and then around, calling a new breeze from a different direction and hitting the guy with a gale force from the front, slowing him down considerably.

The bird dropped and dive bombed almost right into the ground to avoid us, Gaara's sand bounced off the ground with a thunderous sandy boom as Blondie pulled up at the last minute. The sand shot right back after him, the impact not having damaged it at all of course. Gaara continued to fluidly direct the sand, with broad sweeps of his arms, seeing through his sand and watching from above as well.

I growled, doing my best to smack the guy into the ground with my wind, but he was a tough one and it seemed that he was able to find a way around the streams of air I was sending at him, just like he was able to avoid Gaara's sand from behind. That darn white bird was shooting through the streets, nearly knocking over some people as it went, and they were all shocked as first my gale came from one direction, then the giant white creature whizzed by in the opposite direction, and then Gaara's sand followed , hot on its tail. The battle was starting to attract some attention, and that was good, because there may be more intruders lurking in the village somewhere. I smirked as Gaara sent two more spears of sand in, heading him off and surrounding him.

Apparently he was able to sense the trap because he flew strait up, soaring high up above the village. The enemy was now too high for Gaara's sand or my wind to comfortably follow and still be affective, so we called our elements back to us.

"What is wrong with Blondie? Why won't he just die already?" I growled, thoroughly pissed off by now.

"I don't know." Came Gaara's equally grumpy response. Not that anyone would necessarily know that he was pissed off, the only giveaway was how tightly controlled his voice was.

And then he coiled his sand, almost like a spring, and sent it off into a thick ribbon spiraling away from the ground again. This time though, he leapt onto the rising sand and road it, steadily gaining altitude. I hissed, not liking the battle moving away from me, so I hesitantly put my hands together and began the hand signs for my Wing Jutsu. I still hadn't quite mastered it, especially after having gotten Kitty, and it was still extremely volatile, but it was my only option at the moment.

My wings came into being with an explosion that I tried to keep to a minimum, but it was still pretty damn huge. All of that wind and chakra coalesced into a tightly wound ball of energy that slowly formed wings, and then when they burst forth from my back, that was when the air around me was sent out in a shock wave like explosion. The wings were huge now, much larger than before Kitty, and they crackled almost as if with electricity. The explosion drew the gaze of everyone nearby, as well as Blondie.

His eyes widened. "Now that was beautiful. I see you are an artist too. Hmph." Blondie responded with a snotty, huffy sound at the end. I was slightly confused about the artist thing…but dismissed it, deciding I didn't really want to understand this guy.

I tensed and concentrated on my wings, the enormity of them making them somewhat unwieldy, and they spastically flared sending wind and sparks out around me, but with Kitty's assistance I managed to grapple them under my control. My arms extended, helping to control their movement more tightly, and with a great heave I flapped them, once, and that was enough to send me shooting into the sky. As my wings made a great downward sweep through the air, an immense downdraft was created, and everyone even remotely close to me had to take cover. I had found, in some very extensive and difficult solo practice with the damn jutsu, that I could hover with them, unmoving, by adjusting all the little air currents in and around them. But if I was able to gain enough control over their movement, I could actually shift them through space, creating wing-like movements, and the immense chakra that was released created such a wind that I was able to ride it to achieve speeds much faster than just hovering.

I rocketed into the air, directing the wind around me to help me come to a halt near Gaara, and I locked my wings in place, hovering behind him.

Blondie's attention shifted back to Gaara. "How did you guess I was an intruder?" He asked haughtily from the back of his giant, white, obviously not alive, bird. _What the hell is that thing anyway? Is it a puppet?_

"There are no birds like that in this desert." Gaara responded sardonically, looking at the guy like he was an idiot.

"Actually it doesn't even look like a bird, not a real one anyway." I added, squinting at the darn thing.

"It's even better than a real one! It's a work of art! Huh." He ended with that weird little stuffy sound that I was starting to realize was something he liked a lot. _Weirdo._

I rolled my eyes. Gaara just gave Weirdo a look, utterly unimpressed.

Suddenly a deep rumble sounded through the night, followed by an enormous hiss, as Gaara slowly raised his arms into the air. Thick ropes of sand began to stream up from the village and the surrounding dessert, as he called forth massive amounts of the moonlit sediment to him from the ground. The huge coils rose into the air and formed a giant wave of sand behind him as his hands rose. I gaped at the sheer force of nature Gaara had summoned to him. As always, I was impressed with his massive amount of power. I mean I was intensely aware of it, I had sparred with him after all, but he had never unleashed the beast like this on me before. We had gotten close that one time during the first assessment, but this was shit getting real, real quick.

From the dark wave of sand a huge clawed paw and forearm emerged. _What the hell? Is Shukaku getting in on the action now?_ That great sandy paw chased the weird bird around, making it look really, really small. Explosions started going off, stymieing the claws for a moment before they just reformed and came back at him. And then the white bird-thing made a big circle, avoiding the sand claws, and came heading back in our direction. As the bird almost looked like it was dive-bombing Gaara, streams of sand arched around him, protectively.

"The real fun's about to begin! Hmph." Blondie huffed, sounding a little too smug for my liking.

And then lots of little exploding white birds started flying around.

I growled, not about to have that, and sent forth my dancing wind shield, extending it to consist of extra-long currants of air. It was pretty windy up here, so corralling the winds was a little tedious, but at least I had plenty of it readily available. Using those I was able to block most of the little birdies, only a few getting through to explode here and there.

An especially speedy pair headed straight for Gaara, and even his sand couldn't grab them in time. I flew forward, attempting to intercept them. I was able to send one of them way off into left field with a harsh gust of wind, where it exploded innocently, but somehow the other managed to sneak between my bands of air and I gasped as it flew by me and exploded, practically on top of Gaara.

"Gaara!" I yelped, and whipped around, my wings creating a massive backlash behind me as I warped the air around me to spin on a dime. I heard a loud, huffy sound behind me and suspected that the enemy had been sent spinning through the air from the wave of wind that came from me whipping around so fast, but I was much too interested in Gaara to care at the moment. But naturally the smoke cleared to reveal Gaara safely in his sand ball.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Good lord that scared me. This guy is starting to piss me off."

 _ **Let's take him down Kitten! I like hunting birds…**_

I snorted at Kitty's comment and then sent a thought to Gaara. _"You okay?"_

" _Yes."_ Came Gaara's hassled sounding response, and I could feel building irritation sent along with the message. _Yeesh_. This guy was good to get Gaara so riled up.

When I turned to look back at the blond bomb enthusiast, I almost busted out laughing. Behind Blondie, a massive taloned maw gaped, ready to close onto him. It swallowed him whole and I heard the cheers below from everyone watching. I glanced down, noting the way it seemed like the whole village had come out to watch, standing in the streets and lining the rooftops. It also looked like Baki was rallying together the ninja forces, and I could see some big-ass bows and arrows being set up on the rooftops.

And then, inside the sandy prison, there was an explosion, and Blondie broke free. "Damn it all." I grumbled. A strand of sand snaked after him, snagging him by the foot and tossing him back into the sandy cage. Before he was once again ensnared another explosion went off and he was flying away again, on an owl this time. For crying out loud, this guy was a piece of work. The sand chased after the pair, flying strait up into the sky. I flew over to Gaara and perched on top of his dome.

I sent a corkscrew spiral of air along Gaara's strand of sand, and together our elements careened after the blond dumbass, making it much more difficult for him to evade our joint attack. But he was pretty damn hard to catch, and soon I grew aggravated with it.

" _I'm gonna go see if I can pin him down long enough for you to get a hold of him."_ I grumbled to Gaara across our connection.

" _Understood. Be careful."_ He thought back, his mental voice sounding similarly aggravated.

I lifted my wings from where they had folded against my back in a sort of dormant pose that was easier to maintain, and took off into the sky, chasing after the pyromaniac myself. He was fast, but I was faster. As I zipped through the sky, arrowing towards Blondie and his weird white steed, I directed my chakra and wind laced wings to flap, using the immense downward thrust of air that came from the physical movement to shoot forwards at an insane speed. Kitty helped to stabilize my flight, working the wings a little as well, and she snarled in my mind, grinning ferally as we gained on him freakishly fast.

The idiot didn't have a chance.

I collided with him and his big bird with an impact that was distinctly unpleasant for both of us. At the last second I had pulled up, and managed to hit with my crossed arm guards in front of me, but it still nearly knocked the wind out of me.

Still, I didn't have enough time to be winded, so I powered through the discomfort and quickly pulled both swords from my sheaths. I folded my wings and landed on the back of his bird with him. His eyes were wide and shocked, but also weirdly excited. He was actually enjoying himself, confidant bastard.

I growled.

As the bird started doing barrel rolls, I had no idea how Blondie was staying on, but I stuck both swords down into the oddly squishy body of the bird beneath me and hung on. I concentrated, and during a brief respite I let go to quickly call air in from all directions, creating a pressure from all sides to prevent the bird from moving anywhere.

And that was all Gaara needed. During the distraction I had provided, I had sensed him setting a trap, felt his chakra getting closer and closer. As soon as I had him, the sand pounced, grabbing onto one of Blondies hands and quickly traveling up his arm.

Unfortunately, at that moment his other hand opened and a little bird flew out and right at me, exploding in my face. I yelped as I was tossed off the bird and it was released from my wind pressure. The explosion hadn't done too much damage, since it had been relatively small and I had managed to send out a little burst of wind to protect myself face from the blast, but it had still given me some very unpleasant burns. I snarled and quickly unfolded my wings as I cartwheeled through the air at a dangerous rate, only just managing to get control of my free-fall and catch myself before I landed on a rooftop at a velocity that probably would have killed me. The sand that had grabbed my foot had helped a lot, slowing me down enough so that I had had enough time to pull my wings together again.

I pulled up and used my wings to give me enough lift so that I could scamper up the stream of sand back to Gaara's side, watching as his stream of sand valiantly hung on to Blondie, who was flying this way and that, trying to shake him off. He tried to get free by sending down a huge white centipede and exploding at against Gaara's sand, but Gaara held fast. His hand slowly extending as he held onto our wily opponent, and then closed his hand and I felt a surge of chakra through our connection.

Blondie's arm was crushed to smithereens. I winced, just a little. And still, the guy fought to get free from Gaara, and eventually managed to detach his now pulverized arm, getting free by tearing his own arm off. When the sand pulled away, he was left with a bloody sleeve torn off at the shoulder.

And then I watched in horror as the guy produced a massive white egg thing, very ugly with a grimacing grotesque face. "Let's see if I can get a reaction from you Gaara of the sand. I'm getting tired of that impassive face of yours, it's boring." Blondie sneered.

"Oh shit." I whispered, really getting a bad feeling about this. If those little white bird things had exploded…then this thing…was going to take out the entire village. I felt a surge of terror shoot through me.

Gaara added, "Damn it." And I could feel his horror surge through our still open communication line.

And then it dropped, headed right for the village. I gasped and Gaara grunted as we both hustled to shield the village. Gaara sent in a huge amount of sand to make sort of an umbrella shape over the village, and I concentrated desperately on my wings, once again using the physical motion of them flapping to create a humongous gust of wind, this time sending a tornado down as the bomb went off, aiming at the epicenter to disperse the explosion some and lessen it, while at the same time sucking it into my tornado, funneling it up and out, but away from me and Gaara. When the smoke blew away, Gaara's humongous sand shield was exposed, and around the edges of it circled the whirling winds of the giant funnel of wind I had summoned, picking up sand and made visible.

I panted, having used up a large amount of chakra on using my wings for so long and so extensively. That last tornado had drained me to a dangerous low.

I glanced at Gaara, concerned at the massive amount of Chakra that must have cost as well. I could see that the effort had drained him a good deal, because he was also left gasping for breath. As I looked up and over at him I noticed the little white bird coming at us and shouted, "Gaara! To your left!"

His eyes slid sideways and stopped on the little white bird fluttering right there beside him. His eyes widened and his sand shield snapped shut as the bird exploded. I was close enough that I had to form a wind barrier in front of me to keep from being tossed willy-nilly from the explosion next to Gaara. I held it firm and was concentrating so hard on my front that I failed to sense the danger from behind.

A shocked gasp, and then a scream ripped out of me as another explosion went off right behind me, causing a great deal of pain to the skin on my back, and my wings shattered from the blast. The displaced air from my wings converged and then burst in a massive explosion, rivaling the one from the giant egg thing. It sent me flying and even tossed bird boy and his steed to the winds. He managed to right himself, but I fell towards the ground, much too fast. The pain had stunned me, but I had to just ignore it for the moment and I quickly summoned a little wind to cushion my landing. I only had a few seconds, and still landed harshly, rolling and skidding across a rooftop from the impact. I groaned, sitting up and wincing as the multiple bruises, abrasions, and burns protested.

I had landed on the roof Kankuro occupied and he quickly ran over to me. "You okay Ren?"

"Yeah. I think so. But now I'm not up there with Gaara! And I'm his fucking bodyguard!" The wings had drained my chakra as always, and I didn't have enough to create another pair. I stood and stared up at the fight now above my reach.

Something didn't feel right. When I looked at Blondie he was grinning widely. I quickly looked back to Gaara, concerned, and suddenly I could see a few little white bug things crawling over the surface of his sand sphere, popping out of it. I had the sudden, intense, very bad suspicion that Blondie had put little explosions into the sand that had torn his arm off, and that would mean… _oh shit_ …! An explosion went off inside Gaara's protective sphere.

"GAARA!" I screamed and Kankuro and I ran to the edge of the roof, looking up anxiously as the sand ball cracked and sand started sifting down.

He obviously was totally out of chakra, just barely hanging there. I gasped as the huge sand umbrella started moving, very slowly, Gaara struggling to move it out from over the village. I quickly summoned wind to me and pushed it up, helping Gaara by holding up the weight of the sand so he could more quickly get it safely away from the village.

"Quick! Help the Kazekage!" I heard Baki bellow, and suddenly the sky was full of huge arrows, making Blondie dodge to avoid being skewered.

They were even better when they had paper bombs attached to them and a series of explosions fired in the night sky. I mostly ignored them, I was intensely focused on holding up that shit ton of sand. My arms shook, the weight immense, but I held it. I knew that Gaara could do it by himself, but I also knew that he was dangerously close to using up his last bit of chakra, and I was determined to help however I could. He finally managed to get the huge sand umbrella out of the village, and there was a great cheer as everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

And then everyone screamed, Kankuro, Temari, and I being the loudest, as Gaara passed out and started to fall. I gasped and sent out a coil of wind to catch him, but before the summoned air could reach his form hurtling to the ground, the white bird caught him and flew off.

"No. NO!" I gasped and then yelled. I watched helplessly as the small white form flew out of the village, out of sight, taking Gaara away from me. Kitty howled inside my mind and then whimpered. Kankuro shouted Gaara's name, his voice cracking in horror. I fell to my knees, staring blankly at the ground for a moment, shocked, numb for a moment. And then it all erupted inside of me, both Kitty and me, the rage, the pain, the fear, the terror, everything.

And I _**screamed**_.

The guttural sound that burst from my chest was inhuman, torn from my throat so violently that I tasted blood, the echo of Kitty's yowl screeching through my own voice, and making everyone on my rooftop flinch in unison and step away from me at the raw expression of rage and terror. I could feel a burst of chakra come from my body, so similar to that other time, when I had first received Kitty, and wind whipped around me violently. Kitty had been released, and I didn't give a shit.

 **Kankuro POV**

As they flew away with Gaara, he stared with absolute horror and yelled. "GAARA!" Feeling utterly helpless as he watched his little brother being taken away from him. He felt like howling to the skies at the pain that ripped through his being.

And then a howl did rend the night, but it wasn't from him. He whirled around, terrified for a second at the sound of a huge animal in immense pain and rage. And then he stood there, numb with shock, to see Ren, on her knees, screaming.

Just like everyone else, he took a step away from her as wind began to whip around her, the sound still coming from her throat inhuman, and chakra began to leak from her. Her aura was so vast, so intense, so…bloodthirsty, it wasn't hers. As the dust on the rooftop was picked up in the winds whipping around her, he was faintly able to perceive the form of a huge creature around her, some sort of cat, and suddenly he knew who was howling along-side her.

He gasped, a tear gliding unnoticed out of his eye as he witnessed not only Ren, but apparently the beast inside of her lamenting his brother's capture. He never could have imagined that what he had secretly thought of as a monster, some sort of demon like Shukaku, cared enough about Gaara to scream like this. And suddenly, he knew everything was going to be alright, to have such a massive power on their side, so have a beast such as Ren's that wanted Gaara back as much as he did, there was no way they wouldn't get him back.

He felt his heart squeeze inside of his chest. If there had been any doubt in his mind as to how powerful her feelings were towards his brother, those doubts would have been wiped away in an instant. He already loved her like she was his little sister, and now that was only magnified in their shared pain and loss.

Everyone on the rooftop silently watched her, and Kankuro could feel similar feelings of shock and awe coming from the shinobi around him. Witnessing her pain at Gaara's capture, no-one would question her devotion after this.

 **Ren POV**

My fists hit the rooftop, and it cracked. The sound that was coming out of me finally stopped after a minute, once every last ounce of breath had left my lungs, and I panted, my breath heaving in and out of my chest. I coughed and spat a bit of blood onto the roof, grimacing. I probably tore my throat raw with that one, but I really didn't care at all. I didn't even feel the physical pain from my injuries right now, all I knew was that Gaara was gone, and I was going to get him back, so help me god.

I stood, every muscle tense, and my eyes snapped open. I was in charge now, heaven help everyone. I looked out over the rooftop, at everyone who was looking at me, shocked, and perhaps a little afraid. I located Baki with my eyes.

"Baki. I want you to come with me." I turned to Kankuro. "You too." Then I looked out and found a Jonin in the crowd of shinobi around me. "You will round up several squads and search for other intruders. There may be more." He nodded, saluted and ran off. I found another Jonin. "You will take a couple of squads and secure the village. Find where they entered and report to the council in five minutes."

"Wait, five minute?! But…" He sputtered, obviously a newer Jonin by his lack of experience at taking a difficult order.

"Five. Minutes." I snarled.

He took a step back and gulped. He nodded. I nodded, and then I left with Kankuro and Baki in tow. I picked up Temari on the way to the council chambers. "Temari, get the council together for an emergency meeting. Two minutes."

"Understood." She ran off.

I stalked to the council chamber and threw the doors open. In two minutes the entire council was crammed in, and they all looked pissed and confused.

"What's the meaning of…?" Some cranky old dude in a sleeping hat that flopped over his forehead in an absurd manner started up with the protests and shit. I wasn't in any mood to deal with that nonsense at the moment.

"Shut up." I interrupted him. "I am in charge now. Gaara has been captured, and thus as second in command it is in my power to rescue him. Which means I have the power of Kazekage now." A hush fell over the room. "Kankuro and I will leave now, to go and follow the enemy. Baki, I want a message sent to the Hidden Leaf Village. Ask for assistance. I want a backup team sent after us. We will need it. Temari, you are in charge of making sure the village is safe."

Both Temari and Baki nodded. The council protested. And I had had enough. I sent out a deadly wave of chakra from my body, my own version of Gaara's fear jutsu and everyone shut up. "Now listen to me very carefully. My only priority right now is Gaara and getting him back alive. Anything else is not going to be heard. And if anyone slows me down, they will be eliminated. Is that quite clear?"

Everyone nodded this time. The ninja I had picked earlier burst in with several teams, all of them sweaty and out of breath. "We found their entry point, as you asked."

"Good. Make sure no one enters or disturbs the site of entry. It could be booby-trapped."

"Understood." Several of the ninja ran ahead of us to warn everyone.

"We are leaving now. I leave it to you Baki and Temari."

"Be safe." Baki said gruffly.

"Good luck." Temari added, her eyes tense.

I nodded and we took off running, following the ninja team leading us. We reached the place where they had obviously entered, the massacre making me sick to my stomach.

"Good job." I said to them. And then added, "I'm sorry." Feeling bad about being so tough on them earlier.

They nodded, their eyes understanding. "We want Lord Gaara back too."

I nodded. "Only Kankuro and I will leave. As I said, it might be booby-trapped."

They nodded and Kankuro and I entered the gateway through the thick outer wall. Sure enough, as soon as we stepped foot into the passageway, a huge explosion went off and the walls collapsed, sending enormous boulders raining down on top of us.

"Oh shit." Kankuro barked.

"Damn." I hissed.

Kankuro brought out Salamander and yanked me inside with him, making me gasp at the abrupt manhandling. The rocks came down, and the wooden puppet around us creaked in protest. I knew it could take the pummeling, but it made me feel better to activate a wind barrier, just to be sure. It took a minute or two before all the rocks stopped raining down, and we broke free, shoving an enormous boulder off with the help from a gust of my wind.

"Great, just great. Someone has to clean up this mess now." I grumbled.

"Hey, round up some people to find the rest of the paper bombs, but be careful. You'll need the bomb squad to deactivate them." Kankuro called back at the small group of thoroughly shocked and horrified ninja still at the mouth of the crevasse.

One of them nodded hesitantly, gulping, and we set off again, running over the debris very carefully so as to try and not set off any more bombs. We made it out without any more mishaps, and took off across the desert, in hot pursuit of the fiends that had managed to steal Gaara.

 **Chapter 43: Done**

After about an hour we caught up to the big bird thing carrying Gaara, and another strange looking fellow, who was all hunched over and moving really slowly. I snarled, totally ready to take them both out, and from the cussing and grumbles I could hear, Kankuro he was ready to do the same. We skidded to a stop and they turned to appraise us.

"You again? You're kinda tough. Hmph." Blondie snarked, looking me up and down.

Kankuro brought out his scrolls and summoned all three puppets at once. "Give Gaara back." He snarled. And then he sent Crow flying towards Gaara who was being held in the tail of the white bird. The puppet was quickly intercepted by some strange metal thing that emerged from beneath the other guy's robe. It coiled around Crow and held it captive.

"You moved as fast as Crow, I'm impressed." Kankuro snarled.

"The spider needs to be as fast as the fly." The guy rasped, sounding like he really needed to stop smoking.

"What the heck? Is that a…scorpion tail or something?" I said, cocking my head to the side and looking at the guy askance. "That's kinda weird." He ignored me, focusing entirely on Kankuro. "Wow. Rude." I grumbled, looking towards Blondie instead.

He seemed to reach some sort of epiphany. "I remember now. Hmph. This Jinchuriki is supposed to have a couple of siblings. And one of them is some kind of … puppet master. That must be you I guess. Hmph. Your name's Kanturo right? Or Kenpachi or something?" He chuckled.

"It's Kankuro!" He growled and disassembled Crow, only to reassemble it and send it back at the bird thing. It got smacked down again by that weird metal tail coming out of the other guy's butt.

Blondie totally blew Kankuro off and turned to me saying, "And the other sibling is supposed to be a wind user. So I guess that's you huh?"

At the same time the other guy growled at Kankuro, "Forget about him, I'm your opponent. Deidara, quit gawking and get out of here. You're in the way."

I glanced at him. "Sheesh. Pleasant fellow isn't he?"

"Fine. I'll leave you to it then. Hmph." Blondie flew off.

"Where are you going?" Kankuro shouted.

"He's mine…" I snarled and took off after the bird thing, then skidded to a halt and looked back at Kankuro. "You got this?"

"Oh yeah, I'll catch up with ya'." Kankuro grumbled, and turned to look at Scorpion Boy, right as that tail of his smack down practically right on top of him, making Kankuro jump back abruptly to avoid getting skewered.

I heard the guy say something about Kankuro's lapse of attention as I ran off, following Birdbrain up above. I didn't want to leave Kankuro, but I had to catch up with Gaara to save him. And so I ran. I ran and followed Blondie and Gaara.

After a while I saw Blondie turn to look back at me and he dropped a little lower in the sky, eventually coming to hover in front of me. "You sure are persistent. But then again, siblings do tend to be annoying that way. Hmph." He said snottily.

I growled. "So…Deidara was it? You'd be wrong. I am not his sister. I am his bodyguard, and his mate. You might have been better off with Temari. Wait, I take that back, she would have totally torn you to shreds as well."

"His…mate? Well isn't that just…sweet. Kind of animal, but then he is partially an animal, so it makes sense." Blondie mused, setting my teeth on edge.

"He's not the only one." I growled and Kitty yowled in my mind, eager to get her claws in him. I let her out, and she rushed to the front of my mind, filling me with a feline urge to hunt and kill, in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. She and I screamed in unison, a battle cry that echoed through the desert and sent the few creatures that were out and about into their burrows. I felt my eyes shift, and saw Blondie's already freaked out expression get that much more disturbed.

"You messed with the wrong Kazekage, you birdbrained bitch." She and I growled, and our claws came out with an audible hiss and crack as the air charged with chakra.

I darted forward, using high speed Telaria Jutsu, a speed that I wasn't fully comfortable using by myself, but with Kitty there to help stabilize me, we shot forward so fast that everything became a blur. Or it would have, if my eyes hadn't already shifted and everything became super sharp. My gaze was utterly focused on my prey, that big white bird, and though it wasn't actually alive, it was about to get even less alive.

With a roar that made my throat sore again I leapt into the air, and my claws sliced through one wing, severing it neatly from the body. The bird came down, and while it did, I latched myself on, digging my claws in deep and clawed my way up the body towards my next target. The bird hit the ground, and thankfully didn't squash Gaara who was wrapped up in the tail.

An exploding bird was sent my way. I slashed my claws through the air, and sent out a gust of wind that smacked it out of the air and back towards Blondie, who had to neutralize it at the last second. It hit him in the face with a wet splat that had me grinning ferally with amusement. His face screwed up and he threw a temper tantrum.

While he was doing that I darted over to check on Gaara, who was still out for the count and his sand armor was flaking off in big ol' chunks. I gently peeled some off and lightly patted him on the cheek. "Hey. Gaara. Snap out of it would ya'?"

Nothing. No response, and I couldn't activate our communication line either. He was out cold. Damn it.

Blondie interrupted me and sent over some weird clay monsters that started to attack me, and no matter how I sliced and diced them they always popped right back up, in multiples now. That slowed me down so much that I never saw the other guy catching up to us.

Until I felt something stab me in the back of course.

Kitty and I screeched and flew through the air, our shoulder immediately going numb from the big dose of poison. I hit the ground and slid, paralyzed, as scorpion dude chastised Blondie, and then they set off again, Blondie making another bird and taking to the sky with Gaara again. I yowled mournfully, Kitty doing her best to get us back up on our feet, but it was no use.

And so we lay there and watched as Gaara was taken away again, and darkness rose within us, blackening our souls with hate.

The heat of the sun felt like it was baking me alive. Kitty had retreated, just a little, and was now working on cleaning out all that poison in our system. I had no idea she had that ability, but it turned out to be very useful. But it was taking way too long, almost three hours had passed, and we hadn't gotten very much in the way of results. I was less paralyzed, but not enough that I could walk, and I just wasn't up to crawling on hands and knees yet either.

It took another few hours to be able to get enough power up to crawl, which I did for another hour until I could finally get up on my feet and stagger forwards, and even longer to be able to actually run again.  
And then I just kept running. I followed Gaara's chakra signature, able to sense him through the mark, even though I couldn't activate our communication lines. But my chakra was beginning to flag from the exhaustion of having just come from a battle, still being kind of beat up from that, and from getting shot up with poison and having to filter it out of my system so fast.

Even though I really just felt like falling over and passing out, I gritted my teeth and continued. There was no way I could possibly rest, knowing that Gaara was in serious trouble. The further away they got, the more chakra it took for me to even be able to sense him, and that was starting to make me panic.

Eventually, they seemed to stop moving, and I very quickly sent out a network of wind laced chakra to identify the landscape and then released the jutsu, knowing the basic location and holding it firmly in my mind. It took them a full day to get to their location before they stopped, and then another day and a half for me to catch up with them.

I leant gasping against a tree, my chakra close to null. I reached into my pouch and pulled out a few food pills, putting them in my mouth and then following with a chakra regenerating pill. I almost never used those, since they were so dangerous. Sure, they boosted your chakra, but they also had a really nasty backlash, one that could potentially send you into a coma or even kill you. But to save Gaara, I knew I would need the chakra.

He had already been in their clutches for nearly a day and a half, and who knew what the hell they were doing to him. I had to rescue him, but I had no idea how I was going to do that, when I was probably about to pass out from chakra loss.

 _ **I will lend you all my strength, to save our mate.**_ Kitty spoke, for once being entirely serious.

I closed my eyes, grateful. _Thank you… Ryutsuki._ She purred, pleased by my use of her real name.

 _ **We will merge, and you will become as me when the time comes. Don't be afraid of the change, you will be able to save him.**_

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and feeling the chakra pill take effect and send a surge of chakra through my network. My eyes snapped open, ready. I dashed forward, leaping over the ravine and landing on the roof of the cave I knew them to be in, the enormous amount of chakra I could sense below me making me nervous.

I took a deep breath and drew on my chakra, the intense levels surging through my body from the pill and I was already beginning to feel Kitty's leaking into my own. I summoned an enormous amount to my fist, calling forth a gale wind, corkscrewing it around my entire arm and ending in a drill point. Using my Telaria Jutsu I leapt high into the air and then flipped, aiming my drill right for the cave ceiling. With a shout I hit, and the rock cracked. I widened the radius of the spiraling winds, enough that a hole was carved, big enough for my body to enter into the cave, dropping down through the rock I had just tunneled through. I landed in a pool of water and stared in horror at the scene that met my eyes.

There was an enormous grotesque statue, one that seemed to be sucking out Gaara's chakra. Gaara was floating in the air, surrounded by blue chakra, red stuff leaking out of his eyes and nose and mouth and ears. I could feel him getting dangerously weak. Even more than that, I could feel Shukaku in the chakra, and I knew that they were trying to do. They were trying to pull the one-tail out of Gaara. That meant that they were trying to kill him, and that was not okay.

I snarled, facing the ten figures perched on the big, ugly-ass statue's fingers. I could feel Kitty in my mind, gathering her chakra. The immensity of her presence in my mind frightened me somewhat. Somehow I had forgotten just how powerful she was.

But with her, I knew I could take these guys down. Eight of the ten looked like they were made from some kind of squirrely light, and I quickly figured out they weren't really there. So that meant I only had two real opponents here.

They began to talk amongst themselves, about my presence. After a second, the leader decided to send Deidara and Sasori down to deal with me, the rest of them continuing on with what they were doing to Gaara. I snarled, and widened my stance, bracing myself for what I knew was about to happen. My senses were on high alert, and so I could very faintly feel another team coming from the distance, and knew backup was on the way.

I bit my thumb and summoned a few cats. Three cat ninja popped into being. I wasted no time in updating them. "There's a backup team coming here from the Leaf Village and the Sand Village. Show them where we are and hurry them up." They nodded and leapt through the hole in the roof.

My job was to get Gaara away from the creeps, and then the backup team could take care of these guys. But that meant I had to get through to him.

As Deidara pulled out some clay and Sasori raised his tail, I felt Kitty make her move, and suddenly I was filled to the brim with chakra. I gasped, bending double as the power sent me to my knees, the fire of her running through my veins and muscles, making it hard to breath. I wheezed, feeling suffocated.

 _ **Breathe Kitten. You can take it.**_

I sucked in a deep breath, feeling like I almost couldn't handle it, but I let it flow over me and through me, knowing it was the only way. Thankfully the huge amount of chakra was leaking from my body a little and a wind kicked up around me, which deflected the two attacks that were sent my way.

The chakra started to affect my body, and it didn't necessarily feel good, but I embraced it, as she said, allowing the power to surge higher and higher, willing to take anything as long as I could save Gaara. I could feel my eyes shift, the shadows becoming sharper. I could feel my fingernails lengthening, my teeth sharpening, and the crackle along my spine that meant my tail was coming out. But it was so much more this time, as I accepted the full brunt of Kitty's power. My muscles expanded, bulging under my skin and then breaking free with a tearing sensation that set my sharpened fangs on edge and made me want to bite something. I could feel my bones snapping with painful pops and I howled, my voice sounding like the roar of some huge cat.

I was growing, getting larger, new bones growing then breaking to grow even bigger, again and again and again, my muscles scrambling to keep up with the expansion of my frame. And it _hurt._

I tipped forward onto hands and feet, my forearms lengthened, my back straitened, my head rose, until I was standing comfortably on all fours. My claws lengthened, my tail grew longer and thicker, and spines sprung from my back. I could feel my ears moving from the side of my head to the top. My jaw unhinged and reformed, growing longer and full of pointy fangs. All my senses grew even sharper, my nose picking up all kinds of things I had no names for, my vision sharpening to the point I saw no shadows at all.

My eyes opened and I was standing much taller than them, smaller than Shukaku, but approaching that size. _Holy shit. This is the true form of kitty? Wow, how did she fit inside of me so comfortably?_

I glanced back to see the reptilian tail arching from my black furry back, aimed towards them very similar to Sasori's. I grinned ferally, feeling my fangs shift against each other in a completely unfamiliar way.

My eyes shifted to Gaara, and I bypassed the midgets in front of me, hunching my hindquarters and leaping over their heads. I swiped a massive paw at the statue, claws extended, and watched as all the little light figures leapt off the fingers and the light between Gaara and the statue ceased. Gaara plummeted towards the ground. I whirled on my hind paws, my tail swinging around and smacking that damn statue so hard it tilted dramatically as it collided with a bang. I carefully caught his limp form with my teeth, lightly biting on the strap around his chest.

One of the guys, the leader, said something about "…get Gaara back you two!"

Sasori and Deidara approached, and I narrowed my eyes at them, crouching, my eyes slitted, and a growl rumbled from my chest, the sound so deep, so large, so menacing, that it rattled the stones scattered throughout the cave. They stopped.

And then a thought hit me. I had seen the way the leader had scrambled when that statue had tilted, and I knew it was a lynch pin in whatever plan they were cooking up. Probably some half-baked, ' _let's take over the world with the power from the tailed beasts_ ,' sort of thing. I turned and pounced, landing on top of the statue, which was now at a weird angle, revealing that there was more beneath the surface of the earth. I dugs my claw into the weird treelike flesh and everyone heard the ominous crackle that resonated through the cave.

The leader made a bunch of very speedy hand signs, and the statue sunk beneath the ground, until my paws landed on the ground. And then I heard him tell the others that even if they weren't able to consume the rest of the Shukaku's chakra now, they still had gotten enough to continue the plan, and they could always come back for the rest later. But he still sent those two after me, even as he and the other guys went poof.

I snarled. Time for me to leave. I swung my head towards the mouth of the cave, but the entrance was blocked by some sort of shield. I could feel the backup team arriving in the other side, and they were also stymied by it.

 _ **The ceiling. Go through the ceiling.**_

I looked up, Gaara dangling from my teeth. Deidara and Sasori started closing in from both sides.

I felt Gaara stir. "Wha…?" I heard his very raspy voice murmur, and then he groaned, sounding like he was in some serious pain.

I could sense that he was still alive, but only barely, and it seemed that whatever they had managed to get out of him was making his chakra unstable and it was warping, dipping dangerously low. It kept creeping down, and I could feel him slipping.

I had to get him out of here. I growled and summoned those wings of mine, this time on an enormous scale. The explosion cracked the ceiling and I leapt upwards.

 _ **You know, I have my own wings thank you very much.**_

I felt a shock of pain in my shoulders as two huge dragon wings sprouted forth. I snarled and let my jutsu coat the wings, not having to concentrate on it to actually use it to fly anymore, but finding that as I stretched my knew flesh wings, the scales of wind that coated them flashed, sending a huge down draft as I lifted into the air. Then, as I thrust them towards the ceiling, my jutsu sent a gust of wind that cracked the rock fully into pieces and we broke through. I soared through the massive hole, and then leaped down to the ground below, landing in the lake in front of the cave with a splash.

The teams there yelped and scrambled to move out of the way of my massive form. They took one look at Gaara dangling from my mouth and took up arms, ready to fight me, not recognizing me obviously. I gently set him down on the bank. My wings retracted and my jutsu broke sending out a large gust of wind, but one that I was able to control this time.

"What the hell is that?!" Naruto yelped. I squinted at the orange fellow, noting he looked a lot different, more grown up.

"That's not very nice, Naruto." I grumbled, my voice different but still my voice.

The cats around the team all piped up telling them it was me. They all looked at me in astonishment. And then we were distracted by the boulder opening and Sasori and Deidara stepping out. "You take these guys. I'm getting Gaara to safety." The team of ninja cats all left, as I picked up Gaara again and took off with him, bounding through the trees at an alarming speed.

I entered a clearing safely with Gaara and put him down, and then I felt my form shifting again, and I cringed as all the bones broke again and my muscles writhed. It was a truly unpleasant experience.

And naturally I was left naked afterwards, since my form had expanded so much. That was fine, Kitty let me keep some of her black fur as my form shifted, and so I was fully human, but my body was covered in a silky, black pelt for modesty. It felt weird.

I fell to my knees and cradled Gaara in my arms. "Gaara! Gaara wake up!"

His eyes fluttered and he weakly gazed at me, a small smile on his lips. I grabbed his hand when he raised it, and I held it. I could sense his chakra dropping rapidly now, leaking out of him as if he were a sieve.

Keeping him alive would be a challenge, even just removing the amount of Shukaku that they did, should have already killed him.

His eyes closed again, and I hissed, cupping his face with my other violently shaking hand, and I almost aggressively pressed my lips to his, trying somehow to force him back awake through that alone. But I could feel him dying, his chakra slipping away.

"Oh no you don't!" I growled against his mouth and brought my head back up to glare at him. I dropped his hand and pressed both my palms to his chest. I had no idea how to do this but I knew he needed chakra to stabilize.

My own chakra had reached its limits, the pill only lasting so long, and I could feel my own chakra dropping at an alarming rate from the backlash. But even so, I had to be his life-support; it was the only way to keep him alive at this point. So I gathered what remained inside of me and shoved it down my hands, transferring it to him. I sensed his chakra stutter, just a little bit above deadly zero, just a hair, anymore and he would die.

As I forced my own chakra into him, his slowly rose, just a little, stabilizing only tenuously. I had to give him more chakra as a life support until someone else got there, more chakra than I knew I had.

At that moment Mau popped into being, and looked at me, then looked at Gaara, and for once she looked concerned. "Your mate is dying. I would like to help you save him, what can I do? Meow?"

I glanced up frantically, desperately grateful for her presence, and said, "Hurry them up please! Tell them he's not going to last long if someone doesn't come quickly! Really, really quickly!" She nodded and ran off as fast as her legs could take her. Then I turned back to Gaara, looking down at his even paler than usual face.

"Don't you fucking die on me you stupid redhead!" I growled, channeling everything I had into it, feeling my lips growing cold as my own chakra began to dip towards that danger zone. My vision started getting dark at the edges. I could feel him slipping as my chakra started dipping. "Goddam it Gaara, hang on!" I choked, feeling beyond desperate.

All the anger seeped out of me, only leaving that terror and pain and darkness that was starting to choke me slowly but surely as I felt him slipping even further away from me. "Come on Gaara. Please. _Please_ don't die. You _can't_ die." I sobbed, tears now streaming down my face and almost blinding me, though I barely even noticed them.

And then I felt Kitty's chakra join mine, bolstering me enough that my vision came back and the feeling returned in my extremities. "Don't you dare die, don't you dare, because I will follow you and drag you back by your toenails if I have to." I snarled, the strength returning somewhat to me, and the panic lessening as I was able to keep a steady stream flowing into him. I went between snarling demands and tearful pleas as I struggled to get him to come back to me.

"I can't lose you now, not when I finally found you. Not after you went and made me fall in love with you. I can't lose you." I was unaware of the tears now falling on him, or of how they had dampened the black fur on my chest.

I stayed there, for what felt like hours, and all I could do was hold him, barely alive, knowing that if I stopped even for a moment he would die that very second. I ran out of chakra. Entirely. Below zero. The only thing keeping me and him alive was Kitty, and she was starting to get low.

I shivered, feeling the darkness hovering at the edges of my vision, wondering when Kitty was going to step out and save herself. I looked down at his face, the face of the one I loved, that beautiful, wonderful face that I may never see again, and my eyes grew utterly blinded with tears now as I realized that this could be it.

My chest hurt, my whole body hurt from the sobs that wanted to break me in half, but I was concentrating too hard on keeping him alive for shit like that. The pain was such that it grew inside me, growing stronger and stronger, more and more difficult to bear, until I finally screamed through my tears, keeping up my chakra flowing to him, pushing out even more if I could. The cry broke as my voice cracked and then I was left feeling empty, empty and so very, very sad and cold.

I held him there, hovering on the border of death and life, feeling my own death creeping closer with every second. But I had been serious about following him. I was not going to give up, just so I could live. There was always a chance that help would come and if that meant that I died, then so be it.

I gritted my teeth, the pain in my body growing, not just from the sorrow, but from the chakra loss, the intensity of the burn in every aspect of my being growing with every passing minute. But I knew he had been experiencing this pain for the last day and a half, and so in a way, I almost relished the pain, feeling as though, at least in this, I could share this one last thing with him.

I felt my feet go numb, my hearing grow muffled as if I was submerged in water, the colors flickering in my vision, the pain burning in my arms from the constant stream of chakra I was sending through them. I watched, as small beads of blood wells up on the skin of my arms, my hands in particular, and realized that I was now sweating it out of me, as if my blood couldn't stand the heat of the chakra anymore and was trying to escape. My head pounded, and the crying didn't help that at all. But I simply couldn't stop the tears, they ran out of me like a flood, the only thing my body was capable of doing to express the gut-wrenching pain and fear.

I cried, until the tears ran dry, until I could no longer see, until all I knew was pain. And the darkness began to close in on me, the coldness seeping up my fingers until I couldn't even feel Gaara anymore, but I knew I was still channeling chakra, from the pain that thrummed through me, and I grew to rely on that pain, to tell me that I still had something to give to him. As long as I was in pain, as long as I could feel _something_ , I knew I was alive, and that meant he was alive.

I gritted my teeth, wondering if help was ever going to arrive, or if Gaara and I would just die here, just like this, together perhaps in the afterlife. Or perhaps there was no afterlife, and we would be parted for eternity, I had no way of knowing. The only thing I did know, was that if he didn't exist here, with me, then I didn't care if I existed either. My breathing stuttered and I felt my heart do something weird in my chest, skip a beat and then pitter patter a little awkwardly before picking up it's normal rhythm. It didn't feel very good at all, and actually hurt a good deal.

"Ren! Gaara! We're coming!" I heard, through the trees, and muffled as if through water, and I almost wept with relief. If I had any tears left to weep with I would have. A weak smile spread across my face as I blurrily saw their running forms coming closer.

Sakura arrived and immediately put her hands over mine, channeling her chakra in, using healing jutsu. She gasped as she felt the situation, my chakra keeping him alive and him barely above zero on the chakra scale. I glanced up and I saw the shock in her gaze as she looked at me, feeling my chakra loss as well and knowing I had nearly died too.

"It's okay Ren, I've got him now. He won't die."

I nodded and released my grip on him, immediately swaying. My vision blurred and then went black for a moment, and I could dully feel myself begin to fall. _Damn it, not this again._ I thought sourly to myself, getting tired of passing out on the battlefield. I didn't hit the ground this time though; someone caught me from behind, sliding their arms underneath my armpits to brace me. I gasped, my world whirling around in my head. I could feel Kitty desperately scrambling around, trying to stabilize me, both our chakras spinning out of control. Me being below zero and her having to sustain me was dangerous for both of us, and we could both easily die now.

 _Why? Why did you do it, Ryutsuki? You could have just let me die._

 _ **Not really. After all, if you die, I die. I'm not a tailed beast; I don't get set free when my host dies. I'm either extracted at their death, or else I die. I've been lucky so far, and I haven't had a host in a long time. Besides, I've gotten rather comfy in your head. I'd rather not have to change.**_ She responded gruffly, as if she was trying to hide any sort of affection.

 _Aw. I like you too._

 _ **Hmph.**_

 _Thank you…Kitty. Ryutsuki._ I thought softly to her, truly grateful. She softened and I felt her purr in my mind in response, her feelings coming across quite clear. Through the time we had spent together we had become inseparable, in a different way than before. I wouldn't _want_ to be separated from her, and she felt the same.

It was all moot now though, because I could feel her starting to go down with me. The person behind me yelped as my weight suddenly gave, his propping me up no longer doing the trick and instead he had to fully catch my weight.

"Sakura! Ren's hurt! Or something!" I heard Naruto's voice yell in my ear, and knew that he must have been the one who caught me.

"Shit! Gaara's condition is too delicate for me to move!" I heard her voice reply.

And then, as I felt Kitty's chakra begin to waver I felt the prickly sensation of the pelt that had been covering my skin beginning to dissipate. _Well damn, that's fantastic._

I heard Naruto yelp, this time in a much higher pitch. "Sakura!"

"What is it?! Oh! Crap!" I heard her voice get a little higher pitched too.

And then I heard the voice of someone I hadn't heard in a very long time. Rough and gruff and old, she griped at Sakura. "Oh shove off, I've got this one, you go tend to her!"

I gasped, and blurrily managed to open my eyes, so shocked that I temporarily regained very blurry sight. "Granny Chiyo? Is that you?" I groaned, recognizing her voice, even if had been many years.

At one time, I had seen her relatively often, when she had been in a slightly more active stage in life, before she fully retired. And she seemed to really like to pick on Baki for some reason, so she had sometimes come around my squad and fussed at our leader. So I had gotten to know the funny, kind, and sometimes cranky and mean older woman, and had grown a deep abiding respect and affection for her. I almost felt as if she was like a grandmother figure.

"Yes Ren, it's me. Now shut up and get better." She growled at me.

I chuckled, having missed her foul mood. And then I winced as something inside me squeezed painfully. I think it might have been my heart going off beat for a moment again. _Well shit, that's not good_. Suddenly I was very weak and I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. Naruto slowly lowered me to the ground next to Gaara, and I felt the warmth of some sort of material being placed over my torso. It only reached the tops of my thighs, but it covered the important parts.

I turned my head and blearily gazed at the fuzzy red blob that I knew was Gaara's head. I reached out a hand in that direction. "How is he?" I whispered, knowing Naruto would be able to hear me.

"He's going to be okay. And so will you." He told me firmly, as I saw the pinkish blob practically leap the few feet to me. Really I was only laying maybe one step away from Gaara's form on the ground, but I guess I looked bad enough that she felt she had to cross the distance in one leaping bound, landing and skidding on her knees at my side.

Actually, I was rather glad for her haste because I could literally feel my body start to shut down, my chest tightening again with pain as I felt my heart stopping and restarting in a really sad little dance. Coldness began to seep into my limbs and my vision went into that strange realm of black and white. And then I felt her palms on my chest and warmth surged through me, making me take a deep breath.

I turned my face up, looking at Sakura and Naruto, the color very slowly bleeding back into their faces and hair from the gray it had been before. Naruto's bright blue eyes were darting between me and what I could only assume was Gaara, and his face was tight and pinched.

I felt my heart stutter under the warmth and then start up with a more regular beat, the pain in my chest easing. I sighed, the sensation of my chakra stabilizing helped with all the feeling of wrongness going on in my body. I glanced up at Sakura, meeting her eyes. She stared hard at me, her bright green eyes almost seeing into my soul.

"Why did you do that? There is no reason for you to be alive right now. If it weren't for whatever is inside of you that helped keep your chakra above rock bottom, you were technically below zero. Way below zero." She whispered, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

I gazed calmly back. "Have you ever loved anyone enough to happily give your life for theirs?"

Both Naruto and Sakura sucked in deep breaths and traded a loaded look. She looked back down, and now her eyes were softer, a deep understanding flowing from her to me, and I knew she knew what I meant.

It took a long time, and Sakura's dedication to stabilize me. Eventually, Naruto left, to lend some strength to Lady Chiyo, who was still working on Gaara. I looked over there, feeling like I needed to help, feeling useless lying here doing nothing. Sakura saw the look and asked softly. "I can help you, help him, if that's what you want."

I looked up at her astonished. She really did understand. I nodded and I scooted over to Gaara's side, reaching out to touch his hand. She channeled chakra into me, and I lent what I could to the effort of saving him, feeling Lady Chiyo's as well as Naruto's chakra swirling around inside of him and bolstering his own chakra network, strengthening it. It felt so much better than the last time I had felt his chakra, it was a good 40% instead of .00001%. And it felt pretty stable, a little rocky from missing so much of Shukaku's chakra, but I could still feel a good amount of that still there. Shukaku had maybe had a third of his chakra levels drained by that big ass ugly statue thing, and apparently that was enough for them, for now. Thank god.

But Shukaku was still alive and kicking inside of Gaara. I could still feel his grumpy presence, and he felt pissed off. Which was understandable given the thievery. Even so, his chakra was still immense, by any scale. It was just, slightly less immense than before, which probably was a good thing for Gaara really. Maybe now he would be able to actually sleep now and then without having to worry about Shukaku taking over.

After a while I could feel Gaara gaining strength, his chakra network finally stabilizing. By now we had amassed a huge crowd, almost all of the sand ninja showing up to surround their Kazekage. Sakura had stabilized my chakra a little while ago, and had also healed all my wounds, and so I was nearby, hovering around Gaara, lending what little strength I could, given my recent weakening. Naruto and Lady Chiyo were giving him the large majority of the strength he needed to recover, and even between the two of them it had been several hours.

My breath stopped as his eye lids fluttered. And then the dark rings parted to expose the pale green eyes that I loved so fiercely. A wide grin split my face and a few tears slipped unnoticed down my cheeks as I felt a rush of joy and relief so great I nearly passed out again. His eyes blearily slid to mine and stuck, his confused gaze softening and a small smile graced his lips.

After a moment he slowly sat up, and suddenly we were in the middle of a huge hug, almost everyone smooshing in to try and get in on the action. Lady Chiyo squawked and somehow managed to extricate herself from the madness, but I got thoroughly squished by all the eager bodies trying to congratulate Gaara on not dying. I shared a somewhat stressed look with Gaara.

Matsuri pounced on him from behind, almost beside herself. _Oh geez._

After a few very stressful moments, Gaara stood, wobbling a little, but having no shortage of people willing to help support him. He looked down at me, still sort of awkwardly crouched on the ground and nearly smothered by eager bodies trying to get to him, and he reached out a hand to me, which I took gratefully. He helped pull me to my feet, wobbling himself, but everyone supported him, which then supported me. With his action, suddenly I was in the limelight too, and I vaguely heard some stories starting to circulate through the crowd.

"Who's she?"

"That's his bodyguard!"

"Wow."

"I've heard they're a couple."

"No way, Gaara's mine!"

"I heard she turned into some sort of huge powerful creature!"

"How scary!"

"I don't think so, I think it's awesome! And she saved the Kazekage! How cool is that!"

"She's his bodyguard right?"

"Yeah! Check out the seal on her shoulder!"

"Woah! So cool!"

"And she somehow kept his chakra stable when he was almost at zero!"

"How'd she do that?!"

"I have no idea! It's supposed to be impossible to save someone who's dipped so low."

I felt a little flushed as suddenly people started helping me too, propping me up like they were with Gaara. I was not a people person, so this much attention was making me a little uncomfortable. I was just supremely grateful that someone had been kind enough to share a spare black shirt and pants with me, because being in a mosh pit while in just Naruto's jacket would have been unbearable. Thankfully Kaoru and Hikaru managed to squeeze their way in and form a little barrier between me and the general populace, knowing how uncomfortable I was.

"Thanks guys." I whispered.

"No problem!" Kaoru chirped happily as Hikaru inspected me for injuries.

Apparently they had suspended their mission temporarily and rushed back to help when they heard what had happened.

As the sun rose over the horizon we slowly started back towards the village, Gaara propped up between Naruto and Kankuro, and Temari and Hikaru propping me up next to them. Kaoru was on the other side of Hikaru, hovering and fussing over me.

It took a while, the procession walking at our pace, but eventually we saw the tall sand walls marking the entrance to the village, and out through the entrance and along all the rows of terraces lining the wall, the entire village had come out to greet us.

We were all greeted and the Leaf Shinobi were welcomed into the village for the rest of the day and night. There was food, and lots of it, and drinking, and celebrating throughout the entire village. Gaara held up as best he could, but I could tell his strength was flagging, the intense ordeal he had just been through enough to put anyone under the weather. I was feeling much the same.

 **Author's Note:**

Surprisingly having less of Shukaku's chakra works in Gaara's favor. And Shukaku is still immensely powerful (Naruto only has half of the nine-tails chakra after all). But maybe he'll be able to sleep some now. But I wanted Gaara and Ren to stay as equals, and Shukaku is too much fun to play with to let him be gotten rid of.

BTW: That little scene up in Chapter 42, with Kitty and Shukaku getting it on, was actually the idea of one of my reviewers. I thought it was so good, I just had to add it in. :3


	69. Burn With Me: Chapter 44 & 45 & 46

After the Leaf Shinobi left, we retired to the Kazekage tower, or tried to anyway. On the way to the tower, there were lots of fans that wanted to talk to him. That slowed us down considerably, but as his bodyguard, I firmly insisted that they come back later, or keep it short as long as it didn't stop us. Once we got to the tower though, there was something of a traffic jam, everyone trying to get to Gaara. I mean, I understood the sentiment, believe me, but it was getting in the way of Gaara getting some much needed rest, so it was utterly unacceptable in my book.

I got in front of him and spearheaded the way, being rather forceful but careful not to hurt anybody as I shoved my way through. "Thank you, thank you. Yes. The Kazekage has returned. He is alive. Huzzah. Now move please. Yes, yes. Thank you. The Kazekage needs to _rest_. Please move aside, Lord Gaara has been through a lot and needs to retire for now."

And then as we got into the tower I got pissed. "Okay. That's it people. Move. Move now." I growled, my chakra surging and making everyone clear a path for us. Apparently the stories had already circulated about my power. How convenient. And the guards inside the tower were very helpful, very politely shoving everyone who didn't belong in the tower out on their ass.

We were finally back, finally made it home. And that's when I realized, that for me, ' _Home_ ' was Gaara. The idea of retiring to my own quarters next door didn't even cross my mind and I followed Gaara into his room, shutting the door behind me. I simply stood there and stared at him, my mind unable to fully comprehend what all had just happened. The fact that he had been kidnapped, his near death, my near death, the celebration of our return, it was all too much. The emotional storm I had just been through left me feeling strangely numb.

I had truly thought I was going to lose him. I had honestly believed that he would die and leave me. And now he was standing here, before me, wonderfully alive, and all I wanted to do was throw myself into his arms. But suddenly the numbness gave way to a surge of confused relief, giddiness, retroactive terror and grief, and the burning in my chest from simply how much I loved him, with all of that, the intensity of what I was feeling made my legs gave way. I slid down the door, and my eyes closed, my head resting back against the door as I was swamped.

"Let's never do that again…okay?" I said weakly, feeling utterly overwhelmed by everything.

And then somehow I knew he was there, the little currant of air and his scent suddenly increasing giving him away. I opened my eyes to see his face right in front of mine. He looked utterly focused, and I knew he hadn't paid any attention to what I just said.

"Is what they were saying true? That you nearly killed yourself to keep me alive?" He asked, his eyes intense as they burned into mine.

"W-well…" I stuttered, intimidated by the way he was looking at me. At a low growl from his chest I sighed and gave in. "Yes," I whispered hesitantly, knowing he wasn't going to be very happy about that.

"You shouldn't have done that…" He growled and then grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me tightly and yanking me to him.

I gasped, my arms wrapping around his shoulders instinctively for balance. He held me, burying his face into my neck and breathing in my scent as I did much the same. I shuddered, gripping him tightly and shoving my forehead against his shoulder.

A few tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, just thinking about how close I had come to never embracing him like this again. I pressed my lips to the pulse point in his neck, reassuring myself, and soaking in the feel of it against my mouth, so obviously and wonderfully alive and warm. He turned his head, nuzzling his face against mine and working his own lips down the side of my face, then caught my lips with his.

I sighed and then groaned into the kiss, burying my fingers in his hair and pulling him closer. We kissed desperately, both of us trying to reassure ourselves that the other was alive. After a long moment of breathlessness, our lips nearly fighting with each other, things calmed down a little, grew more tender and sweet. After a moment I gently grabbed his face in between my palms, pressing little kisses all over his face, his cheeks, his nose, his eyes, his forehead and non-brows, his kanji, and back down to his lips.

I broke away gasping and rested my forehead on his, whispering shakily against his lips, "Don't you ever scare me like that again. I thought I had lost you." A few tears slid down my face from the painful remembrance.

"You nearly died too." He said, almost accusatorially.

"I wasn't going to let you die. I couldn't, not while I still had chakra left in my body. If I could have just traded my life for yours I would have, but all I could do was just hold you there and wait for help." I rubbed my eyes, wiping the tears away, although more just replaced them.

He grabbed my wrist and tugged, getting me to look into his pained eyes. "Why? Why would you do that? You had no guarantee that help would come in time. If you had died, I would have died right then as well, so you would have given your live for nothing! You should have just left me and saved yourself. Then you would have at least lived."

I almost glared at him. He just didn't get it! "Didn't I just tell you?! If I could have traded my life for yours, I would have! And if trying to save you meant I died as well, then at least we would die together. I wouldn't have wanted to continue to live if you were dead anyway."

"But **Why**?! You should never throw your life away like that! It's too precious." He very nearly pleaded.

"Why?! Because I love you, you nitwit! I couldn't let you die! I couldn't lose you! Not when I had just found you!" I very nearly yelled, waving my arms around in the air for emphasis, utterly infuriated at this dense, beautiful, wonderfully alive human being that I loved with all my heart and also sort of wanted to punch at the moment. Just a little. I glared at him, my breath heaving from exertion.

His face froze. His whole body froze. I heard him stop breathing. And then his eyes slowly grew wide, so wide I could see his whole pale iris. His lips parted on a gasp.

"What did you say?" He whispered so quietly I barely heard him.

I had to gather my thoughts, so scatterbrained and riled up that it took me a second to figure out what he meant. _Oh. Well, that wasn't exactly something I meant to tell him. At least not this way. Damn._

"I…I said…" I paused, taking a deep, cleansing, self-centering breath and started again. I had already said it, and I meant it, and there was no going back, so what the hell. "I _said…_ I love you." I said very softly, not recognizing my own voice. It felt like silk coming out of my throat, the tone so different than the one I usually used, so…gentle, and sweet. It was a little disconcerting. And then I chuckled, slightly, feeling awkward. "And then I think I called you a nitwit." I added, my voice still softer than usual.

His face, if possible, got even more shocked. "You…You love me?" He gasped, his voice shaking.

I flushed and looked away. "Yeah. I kinda thought you already knew that. It should be pretty obvious, I would think."

"I didn't…didn't think that…that you…" Gaara stuttered uncharacteristically, drawing my attention back to him. He looked like his mind had just been thoroughly blown.

"Are you stuttering?" I asked, trying to get the topic onto more solid ground. And really, it was kind of crazy for Gaara to be stuttering.

His mouth worked silently, not even seeming capable of words. He reached out a trembling hand and gingerly touched the side of my face, his expression morphing somewhat into wonder, his eyes disbelieving but almost glowing. "You love… _me_?" He whispered, his voice softly questioning and awed.

I nodded, watching his expression closely for any sign I had just fucked up things between us. The longer it took him to get his mind around it, the more worried I was becoming.

That didn't seem to be the case though, his eyes growing brighter and brighter, his entire expression looking enraptured, full of wonder and growing happier and happier by the second. And as I watched his face changing the worry inside me eased. His other hand came up, lightly touching my other cheek, and both sets of fingers traced down the sides of my face, touching me feather lightly, almost reverently, as if he didn't think I was real or would break.

"Is this a dream?" He whispered, bringing his face closer to mine, our noses almost touching as his eyes darted all over my face, seeming to absorb every detail.

"You don't sleep…" I pointed out in a very soft whisper, all my concerns slipping away, and I found his reaction more and more enthralling and wonderful. It made me realize that this was probably the first time anyone had ever said those words to him. I had said once before that I had ' _loved_ ' him, past tense, but that was probably the closest he had ever gotten to ' _I love you_.'

"I do sometimes. But rarely." He whispered back, almost absentmindedly.

I sighed. "It's not a dream Gaara. I really do love you. I have for a long time."

I saw moisture gathering in his eyes, which closed and squinted shut, almost as if it was too much for him to handle. He pressed his forehead to mine as he sucked in a deep shuddering breath. I closed my eyes and lightly cupped the side of his face with my palm. He inhaled sharply and tilted slightly towards my hand, which was perfect. I leaned in and lightly kissed him, the experience so much different now, so much sweeter. His lips parted against mine in a light gasp, and he shivered.

I pulled away, just a little and then kissed his forehead, over his scar. "You don't have to only love yourself anymore. I can do that for you, if you'll let me." I whispered against the slightly raised skin.

That got a reaction. He jerked, pulling away slightly, looking at me with wide eyes that swiftly changed to something else, but before I knew what exactly that was he had pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me and bringing his lips to mine.

This kiss was new, just like the last one, eager and yet so devastatingly tender. It was almost butterfly soft, tentative and yet not, as he brushed his lips against mine over and over again. I gasped, surprised. He pulled me closer and I squeaked into the kiss, not expecting it and losing my balance for a second, my knee slipping off his leg where it had been braced and thunking against the hard floor.

He paused, his lips just resting on mine, and then he stood, bringing me with him. I squeaked again, this time a little louder as he lifted me, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and my feet dangling just a tad above the floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held tight as he walked a few paces in some direction for who-knows-what-reason. He continued to lightly press kisses on my face, not really aiming at the moment, just brushing anywhere he could, my cheeks and forehead, nose, chin, lips.

And then he sat me down on the bed, which sent a slight nervous jolt through me, even though we had kissed on it before, but it was quickly forgotten. He followed me as I sat and then we were both tilting, facing each other on our sides. Then of course there was the awkward moment where we both had to scoot up onto the bed so our legs weren't dangling off the end.

Once in the middle of the bed, facing each other, we ended up just staring into each other's eyes. I sighed and rested my forehead against his, nuzzling my nose against his. This moment was perfect, one of those moments that I had found with Gaara that I never wanted to end.

Both of us were exhausted from the crazy shit we had gone through lately and so we drifted off to sleep, just like that, loosely holding one another and nose to nose.

* * *

 **Chapter 45**

 **Warning: Lemony stuff will be happening in this chapter. So I will put in a warning and you can skim till you see the next bold print, if explicit stuff isn't your thing. :3**

I slept dreamlessly, so exhausted my normal nightmares were suppressed, and so I woke the next morning, feeling much better. The persistent headache I had had yesterday after having used so much chakra had finally gone. And after having slept the night through without any nightmares, I woke feeling more refreshed than I usually did. I rolled onto my back and then glanced over at Gaara, the memories of the previous day flooding me.

I rolled onto my side, watching him. He looked like he was asleep.

Actually, he really looked like he was _asleep_ , not just meditating. His eyes flickered under his eyelids and every so often his mouth would twitch a little, as if he was dreaming and in the dream he was talking to someone.

Could it be possible that he was actually asleep? He never slept, as far as I knew, so this was a rare occurrence if he was actually sleeping. I scooted closer, and propped myself up on my elbow, leaning in over his face so I could closely look at him. I tilted my head to the side and watched as his eyes fluttered. Curiously I puffed a little breath of air in his face, to see what he would do.

There was a little twitch, but nothing else. It really looked like he was out. I lay back down next to him and simply watched him, not wanting to disturb his rare rest. He was so beautiful to watch like this, so unguarded and peaceful. Mostly. Aside from the random twitch. It reminded me of the moments leading up to our first kiss. We had been in bed then too, and I had been watching him like this.

It was amazing, to think about the way things were now, versus the way they were then. When I had been so lonely, and had thought that Gaara didn't feel anything towards me except friendship. It had been so difficult and painful, and now it felt like everything was so wonderful in comparison.

I watched him for a while, and then his breathing changed a little, and his eyes fluttered, eventually opening. He blinked a few times, looking bemused and perhaps a bit confused as well. After a moment his head turned to the side and his eyes met mine.

"Was I asleep?" He questioned drowsily, his voice having a morning gravel that I hadn't heard before.

"I think you were." I responded.

"Huh." He blinked. "How strange."

I grinned, and gently flicked him in the forehead. "Good for you. You finally learned how to sleep."

"Perhaps it was easier since Shukaku is a little less present in my mind." He rasped. I was finding that I really liked his sleepy, gravelly, drawl.

"Then maybe they did you a favor."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"True." I grimaced, remembering how hard I had had to fight to keep him alive. That was no favor.

I groaned and scooted closer pressing my forehead to his. "I can't believe you almost died. That was terrifying."

"Sorry." He rumbled, nuzzling his nose against mine.

I snorted. "That's not going to cut it mister." I sighed and sat up, feeling the morning urges kicking in. "If you'll excuse me for a moment." I sing-songed and hopped out of the bed, hustling into the bathroom and taking care of business, pausing to brush my teeth afterward.

I exited the bathroom and waved towards it in an exaggerated, playful manner. "The facilities are all yours Lord Gaara."

A small smile quirked the corner of his lips and he got that slightly odd, cockeyed look that told me one of his non-brows was quirked as well. It was probably my playful attitude that was amusing him. I was acting somewhat out of character, even I knew that. But somehow, after yesterday, today seemed absolutely beautiful.

He slid out of bed and walked into the room, his eyes observing me out of the corner as he passed by me. When the door closed, I hopped back in bed, not quite ready to get up just yet. Frankly, I just felt the need to relax today. After the stress of yesterday, all I wanted to do was lounge around in bed. But of course there was no way I could do that, unless somehow I convinced Gaara to lounge with me, since I was his bodyguard.

I sighed and flopped back on the bed, closing my eyes and deciding to play dead for the moment, to see what exactly Gaara would do. The borrowed clothes felt weird as I shifted, and once again I found myself thankful that someone had had a spare pair of pants and a shirt with them when, otherwise I would have been left in Naruto's orange coat.

I heard the door to the bathroom open and then nothing. I was tempted to peek, to see if Gaara was moving around and I just couldn't hear him, or if he was just standing there in the doorway. I heard a few disjointed sounds, coming from different parts in the room, and figured he must be moving around.

After a minute or two I suddenly felt him grab my ankle and yank me down the bed, imitating something I had done to him a long time ago. My eyes flew open and I stared up at him shocked. He was smirking down on me from the end of the bed, and I absentmindedly noted that he had taken off his long red coat and put his gourd away. Maybe that meant he was amenable to the idea of just hanging around here for a while.

After he stood there and stared at me for a moment, I frowned at him playfully. "What?"

"Hm…" Que the Gaara sound.

"What are you looking at?" I clarified.

"My girlfriend." He rasped, sounding more like himself and less like Sleepy Gaara.

I blinked, surprised. "I'm your girlfriend now? I thought I was your bodyguard."

"That too."

I chuckled, "So I guard your body and…" _Whoops, maybe I shouldn't finish that sentence._ All I could do was grin a little awkwardly and flush. _Yay for things popping out of my mouth without thinking about it first._ His smirk widened a little, which only worsened the heat coming from my face.

"Ahem. So anyway…I guess that makes you my boyfriend huh?" I chuckled, squinting both happily and awkwardly up at him in what was probably a very silly expression.

"Yes."

Well wonderful, it was nice to actually have words for us now. I had been a little confused as to what exactly we were doing. I sighed, feeling nearly giddy.

His grip on my ankle tightened and his smirk changed in quality, growing a little mischievous. That was my only warning before he yanked me all the way to the end of the bed, making me yelp. "Gaara!"

Once he had pulled me so my butt was on the edge of the bed he reached down and hooked his hand underneath my neck, pulling me up and towards him as he knelt on the floor, which put him right between my knees. I gasped from surprise, his movements so swift I hadn't really been able to really do anything about it, not that I necessarily would have.

His lips met mine in a demanding kiss, his tongue almost immediately coming out and slipping between my lips, getting super bossy with mine. I was stiff at first from shock, but then softened, molding my lips to his and following the secret language we had formed, all those letters of the alphabet so much more interesting now that I could use my tongue. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself to him, feeling a desperate edge, the kiss that started out playful becoming more serious as everything that had happened influenced our emotions, reminding us that we had very nearly been separated forever, and that I had confessed my love last night, bringing us even closer together. It was an intense mix of emotions.

My breath was coming in hard gasps, and I finally figured out I could breathe through my nose as we kissed, although even then I found my breathing labored. It had grown to the point that we were kissing nearly desperately, as if we really were going to be separated. His arms were wrapped around my torso, and I squeezed him between my thighs, since he was kneeling right there. I flinched when the heat of his fingertips brushed up against the skin on my lower back, up underneath the edge of my t-shirt, and then shivered as his fingers slid fully underneath the fabric, slowly gliding up my spine. I gasped, and then groaned, the sensation of his slightly callused fingers on the sensitive skin over my spine almost tickling, since he was keeping his touch so light, and yet it felt amazing.

After a moment I had to pull away from the kiss, growing out of breath from everything. It all felt wonderful, and my mind was delightfully fuzzy and incapable of thought. I shivered again and felt gooseflesh rising on my arms as he gently danced his fingertips around my long scar, and then flickered over the whole skin of my back, mapping out the pockmarked, pitted, rough skin.

And then my mind started to wake up a little as I realized what exactly he was touching, now that I could breathe a little. Suddenly, I felt ashamed of my body, ashamed of those scars and how my skin was probably not very pleasant to touch, the skin not really being soft at all on my back, the roughness of my scars feeling bumpy and uneven instead. I winced, pulling away slightly, and I glanced away, biting my lip.

Gaara immediately sensed the difference and his hand stilled, lying flat on my back and pressing, bringing me back closer to him, and also to get my attention. "What's wrong Ren?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I just…I'm sorry that my back is so…fucked up. It probably doesn't feel very nice." I mumbled, feeling the tell-tail sting of tears and biting them back. How stupid was that.

I heard him suck in his breath, and then his lips softly pressed against my jaw, since my face was turned away from him slightly. "Your back isn't fucked up." He whispered against the skin of my jaw, and he feathered kisses up to my ear.

I gasped and then yelped in surprised pleasure when his lips nibbled at my earlobe, working all the way up around my ear, his teeth nipping gently now and then. That felt surprisingly fantastic, who knew an ear was so sensitive? I mean he had kissed and nibbled me there before, but not in the middle of kissing and sexy stuff like this. And I had been half asleep at the time. Apparently he had noted my positive reaction though, for him to be doing it again like this.

And then both of his palms were pressing warmly into the skin of my back, the heat from the full hand contact staggering. _Why's his body temperature so much higher than mine?_ I wondered vaguely, my mind starting to get dangerously fuzzy again as his mouth worked on and around my ear, all of that delicate flesh amazingly recipient to his touch and sending all of my nerves dancing and singing. I shivered, feeling drunk.

His palms and fingers smoothed up my back, feeling the full expanse of scarred skin without any sort of hesitance. And then his fingers danced around, pausing here and there in a particularly deep pockmark, dancing over the outline of the long jagged scar, pausing to lightly tease the skin around the small round scars that were my more recent marks.

His mouth briefly pulled away briefly, and then I felt his lips brush lightly over my ear again. "Your scars are beautiful to me Ren. They mean you survived all of these battles. And that's all that matters." He whispered, his breath gently puffing in my ear as his lips lightly caressed over the shell.

I gasped, and a tear did fall, my heart feeling like it was too full, like it would pop like a balloon. His lips veered from my ear and scooped up the salty teardrop on my cheek, moving to very tenderly kiss my eyelids. "Thank you…" I whispered back, overcome with emotion.

He answered with a kiss, his lips moving down my face and matching up with mine once again, this time so gentle and loving that I wanted to weep with joy. He hadn't said the words back last night, but I could feel the emotions in his kiss, and knew that if it wasn't love yet, it was very close.

I gasped and then groaned when a knock sounded on the outer door.

Gaara huffed against my lips and then a few choice words escaped them, shocking me. "Who the fuck is that? I'm going to kill them…" He rumbled, the growl vibrating against my mouth.

I gasped and then huffed in laughter, giggling when he pulled back to glare. "Gaara!" I gasped, out of breath and still giggling, "You never curse!"

He just looked at me balefully. "Not out loud." He rumbled and then stood, leaving me staring at him in mild shock as he stomped towards the door.

"Gaara!" I yelped, before he opened the door. He turned to glance at me questioningly, and I stood quickly. "Um, you…uh…might want to…fix that…" I mumbled, glancing and then averting my gaze, flushing as I gestured towards his hip level.

He looked down sardonically, and glared at the obvious red flag that would tell whoever was on the other side of that door exactly what we had been doing. He growled, shoving his hands in his pockets, and I glanced away as he adjusted himself, feeling warmer in the face than ever.

"I really am going to kill whoever is on the other side of this door…" I heard him grumble to himself as he unlocked the door and jerked it open.

"Oh. Hey, Gaara. I just wanted to check and make sure you were doing okay. Usually you're in the office by this time, and I was just…" Temari's voice sounded from the other side and then trailed off as she took in his highly irritated expression and then glanced back to see me looking rumpled, red faced, awkward, and also a little amused, if frustrated, standing in the entrance to the bedroom door. "Um. Whoops. Maybe now is not a good time." She chuckled.

"Indeed." Gaara said simply and glared at her sternly. "Inform anyone who asks that I am taking a sick day, and will be in the office tomorrow."

"Riiiiiight. Sure. No problem. See you tomorrow!" She waved and walked off, still chuckling to herself.

Gaara slammed the door shut and locked every lock present on the door, and there were actually quite a few, so it made for quite the dramatic performance.

"Feel better?" I inquired lightly, teasing him about the show of irritation.

"Yes." He grumbled, facing me.

"A little frustrated were you?" I couldn't resist teasing him some more, enjoying the way his eyes flared.

He didn't say anything, just walked towards me, still looking a little ticked off, and then hauled me to him, burying his hands in my hair and pulling my face up for a hard kiss. I gasped, shocked.

"Yes. Very." He growled and then started walking forwards, which forced me to stumble backwards. After a few steps my knees hit the bed and I sat, hard.

I yelped as he followed me down onto the bed and then knelt, dragging us both up to the middle of the bed before I really knew what was going on. _Egads_ , it seemed that the interruption had really set something off in him.

* * *

 **Warning, some explicit lemony-type stuff coming up.**

* * *

I squeaked as his weight came down on top of me, but then he propped himself up on his forearms, his legs bracketing mine and pinning them together and to the bed, much as his whole body did. His weight lifted as he braced himself on his forearms and he leaned down, pushing his mouth against mine. I moaned and reached up, having to squirm my arms in between the tiny space he gave me between our bodies, and then buried my hands in his air. He took the opportunity to press against me, bringing our legs, hips, stomachs, and chests into full, glorious contact.

I yelped and jumped a little, then froze, as I felt the hard length of him pressing into my lower stomach, between my hip bones. It seemed as though it affected him too, because all his muscles locked up, his body tense and still over mine. His lips still moved against mine, but his jaw wasn't relaxed enough to let his tongue out, or even to open his mouth into the kiss. It felt like we were at a bit of a stalemate, neither one of us really sure about the new contact and feeling a little nervous.

And yet, after getting over the first intense shock of having that particular part of his body in contact with me under these circumstances, and being able to feel it so clearly, it started to make me feel very odd. It made me nervous, and yet also was almost thrilling at the same time. The excitement flushed my body, sending a surge of energy down my spine. I trembled beneath him, and then something within me said ' _oh the hell with it'_ …and I groaned, relaxing a little and kissing him more eagerly.

He responded, his mouth immediately kissing me back, his jaw unclenching enough to let him part his lips with mine and allow my tongue access to the inside of his mouth. I hadn't ever actually put my tongue inside his mouth before, but it didn't feel all that much different from when he had his in mine. It still had that hot humid feel, the same slippery sensation of tongue against tongue, the same somewhat cramped quarters. It just mean that I had to extend my tongue, which was the only difference.

My body arched unconsciously against his, and I only realized I had done it after the fact. I gasped and flushed, surprised at my own reaction to this new situation. And yet I didn't have the chance to get very embarrassed, because my action had set off a reaction in Gaara, and he growled, his hips rolling against me in the most fascinating, sensual move I think I had ever come into contact with. I could feel every muscle in his stomach contract in sequence and then the thrust of his pelvis as his hips ground down against mine, that band of hardness rubbing against my abdomen in a way that had me gasping.

It wasn't necessarily pleasurable. The pressure of that ridge was actually a little uncomfortable digging deeply into my stomach the way it was, and yet it excited me in a way I had only rarely felt before, and perhaps never this intensely. The fact that I knew exactly what it was, and that it was his, and what it all meant, and the activity that that particular action suggested, all combined to make me feel completely, entirely intoxicated.

And through it all we continued to kiss, his mouth swallowing my gasped response to his uncontrolled movement. His body only did it that one time, as he forcefully stilled himself. I whimpered, almost pleadingly, although what exactly it was that I was pleading for I had no idea, and frankly it was something that came out without my permission. My body once again flexed, pushing up into his as much as possible, given my position.

He hissed and then a groan seemed to come deep from within his chest and he sunk down entirely on me, his body weight pressing me into the mattress. I gasped, almost a little overwhelmed, and finding it more difficult to breath, and yet I loved his weight pressing me down. I loved the sensation of his body on mine. I shuddered, and then my stomach did something similar to what he had done before, contracting from the top down to roll my entire body against his, almost as if I was rubbing against him. Once again it wasn't a conscious decision, it was simply my body acting instinctively, and I was almost beyond the ability to be embarrassed about it, my mind so muddy I couldn't concentrate hard enough for that sort of thing.

It didn't help that Kitty was egging me on, not verbally, but her getting excited made me even more excited, and it snowballed from there.

At my arching beneath him, he gasped, his hands sliding down and grabbing my hips, pinning them to the mattress. His body shuddered and bucked against mine and then he stilled, his mouth tearing away from mine as he turned his face to the side, resting it beside mine for a moment and gasping into my ear. He seemed to be struggling with himself for a moment, and then he pushed up onto his knees, bringing his body off of mine and kneeling over me instead.

I gazed up at him, wondering fuzzily why he had stopped, and taking in his strained and flustered expression. He had a blush working over his cheeks, his mouth was open as he panted, and his eyes were tense. And I didn't know if he had ever looked quite so sexy before.

 **Gaara POV**

He had to pause and get a hold of himself. The intensity was gaining absurdly fast, and if he didn't take a small breather he wasn't entirely sure he would be able to stop at all. He wanted to continue, but he needed to pull away for a moment, so that he wouldn't lose complete control over his actions. He had already grinded his dick against her a couple of times, and though she actually had seemed to respond in a positive way, he was concerned by how many boundaries they were pushing all at once.

Looking down at her wasn't exactly helping though, since the expression on her face was just as arousing as what they had just been doing. He sucked in his breath, taking in her glassy, slightly confused eyes, the flush on her cheeks, her parted lips as she panted. The arousal was written all over her face as she gazed up at him, clearly wondering why the hell he had stopped.

And he was beginning to wonder the same thing and leaned down a little, crouching over her now on his hands instead of using his legs to hold him up.

 **Ren POV**

After a moment of drinking in his expression, which in and of itself was actually pretty exciting, I decided that he was too far away. I sat up just a tad and reached up my hands to lightly touch the sides of his face, watching as his eyes closed and his lips parted even more on a gasp.

I stroked my hands down the sides of his face, down his neck, over his shoulders, feeling the bunched up muscles there from how he was bracing his weight on his hands, and then I slid them down his chest, down his stomach, which tensed against my searching fingertips, and then I found the edge of his shirt and slipped my fingers underneath. My hands pushed up underneath the black fabric and I slid my palms against his stomach muscles, enjoying the way they flexed and then trembled underneath my touch. I enjoyed touching his skin, the sensation of intense body heat and the smooth velvety texture of his unscarred flesh addictive, so much so that his shirt immediately became an utter nuisance and I wanted it gone. Now.

I growled, which was probably Kitty's two cents, and shoved my hands up his torso, almost roughly, hooking his shirt around my wrists and pulling it up with the movement of my hands. I had a quick glimpse of his eyes flying open and staring at me, slightly shocked and wide eyed, before I was pushing him up into a sitting position instead of crouched over me. My hands slid more towards his sides and pushed the shirt up as far it would go. He got the idea, and though he still looked a little surprised and bemused, he accommodated me by raising his arms. I sat up using my stomach muscles only, and slid my hands up the outside edge of his arms, pulling the shirt over his head as I went. As soon as it was over his head he tossed it somewhere random in the room and I hooked my hands behind his neck, letting my tensed stomach muscles relax as I flopped back down on the bed, bringing him with me.

He hissed as he was dragged bodily back over me. In his slight loss of balance I arched my hips as hard as I could, bucking up against him hard enough that he lost even more balance. I twisted my upper body and shoved off the bed with one hand, holding him firmly by his red hair with the other as I reversed our positions, coming to rest between his thighs, my weight over him now. He gasped at my abrupt move, and tensed under me, his entire body getting hard as all his muscles tightened in shock.

I scooted up his body, and hooked one of my legs over his, wrapping it up underneath his where his knee bent. My lips slanted over his, wanting to get back to the damn kiss already, and nipping his lower lip for daring to stop in the first place. I was comfortable enough with kissing now that this sort of thing wasn't at all embarrassing and I was fully able to take charge of the situation. I urgently moved my lips over Gaara's, opening my mouth when I felt the silky wet sensation of his tongue at the seam of my lips.

I groaned as the kiss deepened, having found out rather quickly, and now fully acknowledging the fact that I was thoroughly addicted to kissing Gaara, the sensation better than anything else I had ever experienced.

I flinched a little when I felt his hands work their way up under my shirt again, my body jerking in response to the nearly ticklish sensation of his fingers lightly dancing up my sides. The feather light touches gave way to his palms as he grew more bold, his hands able to explore more of me now that I was on top of him and he didn't have to worry about keeping his weight up. That was me now, as I braced my elbows on either side of his head, my torso arched over his, not quite touching so I could have enough leverage to duck my head and kiss him as hard as I wanted to.

His warm hands slid up and down my sides, briefly sliding around to my back to reacquaint themselves with that territory before coming back around and mapping out my ribs and the curve of my waist leading down to my hips. I shivered. And then his hands were on my stomach, similar to the way my hands had been on his and I felt my stomach muscles flutter under his touch, that little spazzy jerk that felt so strange.

I gasped into the kiss, distracted, and he took over, his lips languidly stroking against mine as I tensed, feeling his palms slowly climbing up my belly, a place he had never touched before, though I had touched his. It felt good actually, my stomach quite sensitive, and he wasn't touching lightly enough to actually tickle me. Not that I was ticklish.

I was getting back into the kiss, when I was distracted again, even more thoroughly this time when I felt the tips of his fingers brush against the undercurve of my breasts. I gasped and my body jerked in shock, not having really expected it, or the way it had sent a jolt of awareness through my body. I was suddenly hyperaware of my breasts, in a way I hadn't ever really been before, except maybe that one time I had… _uh oh…is that where this is going?_

I sucked in a sharp breath of air and his fingers paused, his palms pressed flat against my sternum. And then his fingers angled sideways, sliding his palms up my ribcage even further as his fingers slid up my outer ribs along my sides. He slid them up until his thumbs brushed against the inner curve of my breasts and the juncture of his thumb and forefinger brushed the underside of my breasts, framing them.

I shuddered, waiting, wondering if he was going to touch me there or if he wasn't. He seemed to be waiting for permission of some sort, and I realized our lips had parted by a centimeter as I had very slightly pulled back when I had jerked at his touch, showing how it had affected me. I had to make a decision. I knew if I kissed him again he would probably take that as permission and continue to touch me more fully. On the other hand if I pulled away he would probably do the same.

Did I want him to touch me there? It seemed like sort of a big deal, and I remembered that when I had touched myself it had felt god to rub them against the sheets. So chances were, it would feel very good, whatever he did, but that sort of pleasure was a whole new level of intimacy, and relaxing enough to let him be there with me when I experienced it might be difficult and embarrassing. I could already feel a flush creeping up my neck and onto my face.

And yet…I was so curious, and I wanted to continue. I was so aroused by this point that stopping was something I really didn't want to do. My body was telling me that I needed to continue, and even though I was a little nervous, I was also eager, and so I sucked in a deep breath and pressed my lips against his again, almost a little tentatively. His lips immediately responded, and my body tensed, expecting his wandering touch.

It didn't come, his hands firmly stayed planted where they were bracketing my breasts, and he continued to kiss me. After a moment I began to get wrapped up in the kiss again, finding the familiar intoxicated feeling surging through me at the way our lips danced together. It was only after I had stopped being so tense, my body relaxing into the kiss, that his hands twitched.

I gasped, shivering as his hands very delicately, and slowly, inched up. His lips kept mine engaged, somewhat distracting me from his hands, and helping me to not tense up again or get nervous as his palms slowly molded to the bottom curve of my breasts. It felt nice, not really what I expected, but the skin on my breasts was super delicate and sensitive, and so it felt good to have him touching me there. I sighed, relaxing more into the kiss.

And then suddenly his hands came up against my nipples and bumped across them, and I gasped at the flutter of pleasure that made my stomach tense as I flinched. I shuddered against him, his touch becoming more of what I remembered and had been so nervous about, the heat slowly working its way down from my breasts and pooling low in my groin.

I hissed and arched my back, pressing my chest more firmly into his palms, which had now taken the full weight of my breasts. His kiss faltered for a moment as he was distracted by what his hands were doing and my reaction.

He simply let his palms cup me, keeping his hands still at first as we both acclimated to the new situation. After a moment he moved his fingers, gently stroking the skin at the edges of my breasts with his fingertips and very gently flexing his hands, getting a feel for the pliancy of the flesh there. He was obviously growing more fascinated by the way the flesh molded to his hands, judging by the way he began to gently knead them, almost like you would do with bread dough.

It felt strange, his gentle caresses felt good, and I enjoyed the almost massage like feel of his delicate squeezing, and every time his palm shifted over my nipple that same little zing of pleasure went through my system, making me twitch.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was enthralled, the soft flesh in his palms so utterly fascinating. He had never come into contact with anything that felt quite like it. Ren's breasts were so pliant he could really only think that they were … squishy, but in a wonderful way that made him want to continue touching them. They were so soft, and yet there were two hard points that were pressing insistently into his palms, and he could only assume that those were her nipples, although he really didn't know very much about that particular part of the human body, aside from that was where baby's got their milk.

He was so distracted by the heavy weight of them in his hands that his kisses were growing scattered, his mind focusing more on his hands than his lips, and eventually he gave up on kissing altogether for the moment, their lips brushing against each other from time to time and breathing in each other's air, but concentrating more on the other touching going on.

He was equally fascinated by Ren's reaction to his touching her there, it seemed that she was reacting much more strongly to his caresses there than anywhere else so far. She was panting, and though her face was so close to his that he couldn't get a really good look at her expression, he had the impression that her eyes were closed and a flush was covering her face and spreading down her neck slowly. He could even begin to feel a surge of heat under the skin of his hands and suspected that her chest was flushing as well.

After a while, he grew frustrated with her baggy black shirt, because it was restricting his movements. At this point he was also very curious as to what exactly her breasts looked like. Since he had been mapping them out with his fingers, he had a pretty good idea of their size and shape, and that had only peeked his curiosity.

So he moved his hands from their position on her breasts to the center of her chest and shoved, firmly dislodging her and tipping her over. She gasped from surprise. He followed her backwards movement by sitting up, trading positions easily with her as she flopped back onto her back and he sat up, kneeling and ending up with one of his legs in between hers.

He slid his hands down to the edge of her shirt and grabbed it, slowly peeling it up her stomach. She gave no resistance but gasped and flinched just a little when she realized what he was doing. He paused his upward momentum and looked into her eyes for permission to continue.

 **Ren POV**

I stared up into his eyes, wondering what the hell to do. He had already felt everything on my upper body, so really, it shouldn't matter if he saw it, and yet the idea of being naked from the waist up was daunting. I sucked in a deep breath and decided to go ahead and go for it, feeling mostly okay about it, only a little nervous, and I had a good idea that that was never going to go away. I was as ready as I'd ever be. I sat up, grabbed the edge of the shirt and swiftly drew it over my head before I could change my mind, tossing it to the side.

And then I was struck by nerves and wrapped my arms around my chest, mostly covering my breasts, or at least the nipple part. I blushed from the top of my head down to my breasts, the entire expanse of the flush visible now, and I stared at the hollow in Gaara's throat, unable to make eye contact.

Gaara's hand came up under my chin and tilted my head back, forcing me to meet his gaze. His piercing eyes searched mine, seeing all the embarrassment and discomfort. "We can stop here if you want…" He murmured gently.

I sucked in a breath and thought about it for a moment. And then I shook my head. Really, I wanted to continue, at least a little more, definitely not all the way, but I was curious, and I needed this physical intimacy right now. Despite my nerves and shyness, I felt a desperate need to be with Gaara, as much as possible.

"I don't want to stop yet…I mean, I'm not ready to…do any more than this. But I do want to continue what we're doing…I'm just…sort of shy…I guess..." I mumbled, and then chuckled awkwardly at my own admission. "It seems awfully silly I suppose. I mean you did just have your hands …uh…there…so it shouldn't matter…" I bit my lip and then snorted, the laughter helping me to feel a little better about it all.

He chuckled, that wonderful low chuckle of his, and bent down to lightly kiss me. And then he whispered against my lips, "Take your time to get comfortable. There's no rush."

I shivered, something about his words making me feel all melty inside, like I was a bar of chocolate left in the hot desert sun, and Gaara was the sun making me melt. He trailed delicate kisses from my lips down my throat, his hands gently resting on my upper arms and stroking up and down soothingly as he peppered my neck and shoulders with feather light brushes of his mouth.

I shivered, slowly relaxing as I enjoyed the gentle touches. Eventually my arms tentatively unclenched and I reached out one hand to lightly play with the soft hair at Gaara's nape, leaving only the one arm to drape over my breasts.

And then even that seemed unnecessary as he kissed along my collarbone and my eyes slowly shut, simply allowing myself to drift in the gentle pleasure. I sighed and tipped my head back, allowing him all the access he could want, and almost without realizing it, my other hand joined the first at his neck, both sets of fingers sifting through his silky red hair, enjoying the texture in conjunction with the silky kisses he was pressing against my throat.

And then his hands were lightly stroking up my back, holding me up and arching me slightly upwards so his lips could kiss down my throat to my collarbone and then below that, to the center of my chest almost, slightly above my breasts on my breastbone, where Kitty's sealing mark was. He pressed a firmer kiss there, nudging me with his chin to push me back and then lowered me with his hands. My back met the mattress and I gasped, almost nervous again, but able to work past it. He sat up, his hands sliding out from behind my back, his fingers lightly stroking up and over my sides and then his fingers began to trace meaningless patterns onto my stomach, almost absentmindedly, as his eyes looked down on my supine form.

I gulped, definitely feeling a little embarrassed again, and feeling a resurge of that urge to cover myself. My arms twitched at my sides and I brought my hands over my stomach, locking my fingers together to give me something to do and force myself to not cover up again, although it was tough.

After a good minute of his just staring I grew uncomfortable enough to mutter, "It's just a pair of breasts, Gaara. It's not the Holy Grail."

He snorted, his eyes coming up to meet mine, as he smirked just a little. "But they're so lovely."

I blushed. "Ehm. Thank you." I mumbled.

His head cocked to the side, the smirk widening just a tad. "Is it embarrassing when I compliment your body?"

I flushed even deeper, at the comment and the fact that he had drawn attention to my embarrassment at all. I frowned just a little. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you blushed."

I sighed. _Well he had me there._ "I suppose I can't argue with that. Yes, it's a little embarrassing."

"Why? I'm simply stating the fact that I find you beautiful." He looked both puzzled and amused.

I groaned, and threw an arm over my eyes. "It's just, you know…I guess drawing attention to a specific body part…or something…or maybe I'm embarrassed about liking the flattery. Who knows."

"Strange."

I muttered nonsensical nonsense to myself.

After a long pause, "I would like to touch you again, if I may."

I twitched and squeaked, a little surprised at the request. I peeked out from under my arm to see his gaze fixated on my breasts again. _Great, Gaara is finally acting like a guy, wonderful. Well, this is incredibly awkward._

"Uh…sure?" I mumbled, putting my arm down. I lay there, a little stiff and feeling a little awkward, but surprisingly I was basically okay now with being naked from the waist up in front of Gaara. There was still some shyness and embarrassment there, but talking had actually helped to ease the tension.

I watched as his hands, which were still resting on my stomach, gently stroked up my torso. Instead of sliding his hands up over my breasts, this time his hands left my body and simply went straight to gently cupping over them. I watched as he very tentatively kneaded the soft globes, which felt good, and I could feel my nipples hardening against his palms, but it wasn't enough to distract me from watching the rapt expression on his face.

It was sexy, cute, and amusing how fascinated he looked. He almost looked like a kid with a new toy, his eyes lighting up with interest. And then he slid his hands off a little to the sides and cupped them, sort of pushing them together. His head cocked to the side as he weighed them in his hands.

"It seems like these would get in the way when you fight." He said, almost absentmindedly.

"Mm-hmm." I hummed in agreement, relaxing now and finding myself thoroughly enjoying myself as I watched and felt his exploration. "That's why I wear bandages, to tie them down."

"Tie them down?" He questioned, looking confused. And then he moved his hand over my breast, pressing down and flattening the squishy flesh out against my chest, which took a little force, and it was obvious that he was hesitant to apply that much force. "Like this?" He questioned.

"Yes, except even harder…uh, tighter I guess would be the better word since we are referring to bandages." I put my own hand over my other breast, pressing it flat ruthlessly, using the same amount of pressure I felt when I tied them. "Like this."

He blinked and looked a little shocked. "That looks uncomfortable." He noted.

"It is, and with the bandage it can feel a little restrictive around the chest. But it keeps them from flopping around." I answered, and sent a mildly irritated glance down at the said mounds. I lifted one with a couple fingers underneath and then removed them abruptly, letting my breast fall back down and bounce. "Like that. Too much of that in a battle where I'm jumping around and these things get really frickin' sore. It just kinda sucks." I shrugged.

His eyes were still fixated on the breast that I had let bounce around, and I wasn't entirely sure he had heard me. I snorted. It was like a cat with a ball of yarn, the way he was staring so intensely. He reached out a single finger and gently poked it into the side of one experimentally.

"I'm not a doorbell you know." I pointed out.

A small surprised chuckle burst from his throat and he glanced up, amused. "Sorry." He said, not sounding apologetic at all.

I just rolled my eyes at him.

And then he cupped them again. After a moment he cupped them more from the outside curves, sort of like bracketing them, and prodded curiously at the pink tips with his thumbs. I jumped, the sensation a little more intense than I would have expected. His thumbs withdrew immediately and he glanced up, a little concerned.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked softly and apologetically.

I blinked, my breath surprisingly a little faster just from that one shocking touch. "Um. No. It didn't hurt."

He blinked. "Oh." And then he looked back down to my breasts and repeated the motion, gently bumping the side of his thumb against only one of my nipples this time. I jumped again, although less dramatically this time, even though I expected the little zing of pleasure.

"Then why do you jump?" He inquired. Still looking a little concerned, but more curious now.

I drew in a shaky breath. "Well…it's just sensitive." I blushed.

"Sensitive bad or sensitive good?" He pressed, leaving his thumb gently pressed against the side of one.

When I didn't respond he frowned a little, looking intrigued. He looked intensely down at the pink buds, almost as if he were demanding an answer from them. And then he withdrew the one finger, only to roll both thumbs over both nipples at the same time.

My eyes flew open in shock and I gasped loudly, my back arching as a surge of pleasure arched through me, shooting strait from the tips of my breasts to the throbbing between my legs in a shocking, unexpected sort of way. My back was arched only for a second, and then I regained control over my impulsive muscles and forced myself flat again, flushing bright red from my intense reaction. That was a little embarrassing.

Gaara's face was also a little flushed, and shocked, as his eyes flicked up from my breasts to my face, taking in what I was sure was a tomato-red complexion. "Did that feel good?" He asked, sounding very surprised, his voice in that slightly higher, more melodic range.

I felt the heat increase in my face and bit my lip, too embarrassed to respond to his question. He frowned down at me, looking frustrated at his lack of an answer. He thumbed my nipples again, this time watching my face closely to try and figure out what it was I wasn't telling him. The repeated sensation zinging through me forced my body to respond again.

I jerked from the pleasure and shut my eyes tightly, both from the pleasure and the embarrassment of having him scrutinizing my facial expression so closely.

I heard him sigh in exasperation. "Ren…" He paused, and then after a moment continued with, "It seems like this feels good, but I would like you to tell me. I don't want to be doing anything that causes you physical discomfort."

I sucked in a deep breath and managed to squeak, "…good…" It came out so tiny that it was barely comprehensible, so I cleared my throat and tried again. "…it feels good…" It still sounded a little squeaky.

I heard him sigh again, this time almost as if in relief. "Good." And then, "Do you mind if I continue?" He asked.

I trembled, but really actually did want him to continue, finding these new sensations to be better than I had ever thought. "Um…Go ahead…" I murmured, and my voice was still fucking squeaky! _What the hell is wrong with my throat?!_

After a moment's pause his thumbs rolled over my nipples again and I tensed, doing my best to keep my muscles locked in place so I wouldn't jump around like an out of control teenager. This time he didn't stop though, like before, and instead he rolled my nipple around with his thumbs, working them back and forth and up and down, sending a constant stream of pleasurable sensations through my body. I sucked in a deep breath, my hands gripping the sheets beneath me to try and help keep me still. Yet I didn't fully succeed, my body trembling from both the tension I was intentionally putting there to try and keep myself still as well as from the natural jerks and twitches that were trying to happen.

When I chanced a look out of one squinted eye I observed the same sort of enthralled, fascinated expression on his face as before.

 **Gaara POV**

Once he finally had free reign he thoroughly enjoyed himself, finding her breasts endlessly fascinating and wonderful. The bright pink tips had hardened impossibly under his thumbs and he watched, utterly captivated by the way they looked and felt. But that was only a small part of his total enjoyment. He was also intrigued by the way she responded to his touch, noting her clenched fists in the sheets, and her tight muscles. It almost looked like she was trying to hold herself still for his exploration.

Perhaps she had found her previous unchecked response to be embarrassing and was now trying to control herself. If that was the case, he really wished she wouldn't. Although in some slightly sadistic part of him that he usually ignored, he actually found her attempts…kind of cute, and amusing. And he had the brief, ever so slightly evil urge to see if he could make her respond, give her too much pleasure for her to pretend not to like it.

But mostly he just wanted her to loosen up and react naturally to his touch. He really wanted to be able to see the pleasure on her face instead of the somewhat tense expression she wore now. Although, he could see the pleasure written in the lines of her face, the way she bit her lips and the bright blush that spread over her cheeks, and something in the way her eyes closed tightly and fluttered. But he could also see the tenseness in her jaw and around her eyes that betrayed her attempts at controlling herself.

He also wanted to watch the way her body reacted to him. Her nipples were apparently unable to lie and had hardened and pinkened underneath his touch, but the way she held herself was more a reaction to her own embarrassment than a reaction to him. He had found the way she had previously arched into his hands and twitched or jerked at certain touches to be mesmerizing, and he had found the obvious responses of her body to be incredibly arousing. It was still incredibly arousing. But in the larger part of himself that wasn't slightly twisted, he found he was also a bit frustrated by the way she fought with both him and herself.

He had to remind himself that this was new for both of them, and he was sure over time she would be able to relax and enjoy the experience more.

 **Ren POV**

I bit my lip and shuddered as the sensations running through my body continued to grow, expanding and all seeming to pool directly between my legs, causing that flesh to start up a strange throbbing, almost as if in tune with my heartbeat. Perhaps I had so much blood going to those little bits of flesh that I actually could feel my pulse there.

I had an intense urge to clench my thighs, wanting to get a little bit of pressure there, needing something. Unfortunately Gaara's leg was between mine, so as my thighs squeezed, they squeezed on his leg which prevented the sought pressure. I could also feel very hot moisture gathering there, and knew that I was producing that damn fluid again, and once again it was making everything a little uncomfortable.

It had only been a minute or two that he had been doing that thing with his thumbs and already I was a mess, finding it more and more difficult to suppress my reactions. And then abruptly, everything got so much worse…or better depending on how you looked at it.

His thumbs paused and suddenly his hands shifted and before I really knew what was going on he had pinched both nipples lightly between thumb and forefinger. The pleasure seared through me and I yelped, my body breaking my control and surging upwards. My back arched, pushing my breasts into his hands, and my hips bucked. Bucking my hips didn't really accomplish much because I wasn't against anything to buck against, his leg not pressing up against my crotch but down between my knees.

A purely unchecked moan escaped from my throat and I realized I was quickly losing control of the situation, my body beginning to feel incredibly hot and the tension winding so tightly in my groin that I knew if I didn't stop right now I was going to go past a line I was ready for. I was definitely not ready to actually reach that peak I had reached so long ago when I had touched myself, not in Gaara's presence.

That had been the most vulnerable I had ever felt, the amount of control that I lost was insane. That amount of intense vulnerability wasn't something I was ready to share. And so I quickly grabbed Gaara's wrists, stopping him. He looked up, his face flushed, and his eyes glittering, and right there I was almost tempted to continue, because he looked so aroused that it pushed my own arousal through the roof. I gritted my teeth, reminding myself why I had stopped him.

"We have to stop." I managed to grit out, my breathing raging and wild.

* * *

 **Chapter 46**

 **Okay guys, you're safe now. If you've been skimming you can stop, the lemony stuff is over.**

* * *

He pulled his hands away from my breasts and rested them on my sternum instead. "Okay." He agreed and then waited a moment, looking slightly confused. "Why exactly?" He continued, looking questioningly at me.

I took a few deep gulps of air, working to quickly get my body to calm the fuck down. "Just a moment please…" I choked, and squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating very hard on anything not sexual. After a moment, when I felt more like myself I opened my eyes to see a slightly concerned and very confused expression on Gaara's face.

I inhaled deeply, "Okay," I sighed, "I needed us to stop because I was getting too…excited." I swallowed, blushing a little at the admission. "If we had continued I wouldn't have been able to … I mean I would have wanted to…um…finish, and I'm not ready for that yet."

He blinked, looking even more confused. "Finish?" I blushed, and he continued, "You mean sex?"

I blushed even harder. "Um… no not exactly. I'm not ready for that either, but I meant something else."

"Then what exactly did you mean?" He asked for clarification.

I sucked in a deep breath, once again finding myself in the positions of sex educator. Lovely. "Damn. Here we go again." I groaned. "Alright, well…how to I explain this…" I thought for a moment. "As I understand it there's this …um…pattern to the way people experience pleasure. For example, say we kiss, we would get…mildly excited…what we were just doing was … um, very exciting. If we were to continue and certain…body parts were touched in certain ways, then the excitement would continue to build and eventually hit a peak, sort of where everything get super intense, and then after that the excitement sort of goes away and you feel …eh…satisfied." I finished, actually managing to not blush too much. "I think for guys it's supposed to happen right when you…" I searched around trying to remember the right term.

"Ejaculate?" Gaara helpfully supplied, and this time I did blush a little.

"Yep. That's the word." I squeaked.

He looked bemused, as though he understood what I was saying, but was still curious, or maybe not quite making the connection. "So what you're saying, is that women can also cum?"

I blinked at his word choice. "Where in the world did you learn the word…oh…Kankuro." I answered my own question, knowing Kankuro could be incredibly crude sometimes, and had probably unintentionally taught Gaara all sorts of words. Probably even the word 'ejaculate,' since he certainly hadn't known that word when I had given him ' _the talk_.'

Gaara nodded. "Where do you get all of your information?" He questioned.

"Oh, sometimes I hear shit in the women's bathrooms. Sometimes I take a shower or bath in the bathrooms right off the training grounds. And sometimes I actually go to the bathhouse. It's amazing how girls get all relaxed in the hot water and start giggling and gossiping about their boyfriends and stuff." I dismissed. Really that was where I had gotten most of my information, and by randomly picking up a few conversations here and there.

"Hm. Yes, I've overheard some odd things in the men's restrooms as well." He responded and then after a moment of thought, continued our previous conversation. "So, you said that women can cum?"

I flushed. "Oh. Right. Um. Yeah, I guess you could say that, although I think some people limit that word to mean…uh…ejaculation. But I think it essentially means that peak that I was talking about. I don't know if my version of it feels exactly the same as your version, but I would imagine that they're comparable at least in intensity and the satisfaction afterwards."

Gaara thought about it for a moment, his eyes looking glazed for a moment as he absorbed what I had said, and then his gaze sharpened. It appeared that the new information had peaked his curiosity, judging by the way he got that very specific gleam in his eye. _Uh oh._ I knew that look. That was the look that meant he had just found a new obsessive curiosity.

I had figured out this odd facet of his personality when I had started rather suddenly started my period while we were working in the office, and he had smelled the blood. I had been too embarrassed to properly explain things to him, so I had just glossed over it at first; having to say something to reassure him I wasn't injured. But then, he had gotten that same sort of gleam in his eyes and had proceeded to pester me about it constantly for the next two weeks until I had given in and explained to him in detail what a woman's menstrual cycle was. After that, I had put two and two together and figured out that it was that same sort of obsessive curiosity that had so fascinated him with me early on.

 _Oh shit._

"And you're not ready for that yet." Gaara stated and questioned at the same time.

"Exactly." I hoped that would be enough to hold that damn insatiable curious streak of his at bay, for a while at least.

He heaved a sigh, seeming to have to forcibly restrain himself. "I will respect that. We won't do anything until you are ready."

I sighed a quiet breath of relief. "Thank you."

And then my stomach picked that exact moment to make a loud announcement that, ' _IF YOU DON'T FEED ME NOW I'M GOING TO CRAWL OUT OF YOUR BODY AND GLARE ANGRILY AT YOUR CORPSE!_ ' I winced, the loud growl actually making my insides cramp up a little, and realized I hadn't eaten since…well…I guess sometime mid-day yesterday? And it hadn't been much, since I was still out of it from the whole chakra loss thing.

"Hungry?" Gaara inquired, amused, having heard the very loud sound my stomach had just emitted.

"Yeah…you?"

He thought about it for a minute and then nodded.

And of course Mau picked that moment to pop into being, sitting on Gaara's head. She stared down at me. "You seem to be lacking your pelt, meow." She noted.

I blushed a little. "I suppose so."

"Do you wish for me to find one? Meow." She inquired, her tail wiggling and then wrapping around Gaara's neck.

He ignored her.

"Um, no that's okay." I mumbled.

"Okay. Meow. Well, I came because I sensed you needed food, and also seemed quite fatigued. Meow. I am glad you and your mate survived."

"Thank you Mau." I said, touched, and she purred, treading in Gaara's hair for a second, which made me giggle at his carefully blank expression. And then I smiled and added, "And, yes I am very hungry."

"Meow. That's what I just said." She grinned widely, showing off all her pointy little teeth.

"Er, right."

She disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Gaara cocked his head and gave me a questioning look. I shrugged and sighed, responding to his look with a look that said, ' _don't ask_ ,' complete with rolled eyes. He shrugged and lay down.

A few minutes later we heard a knock on the door. "Delivery!"

Gaara sighed and got off the bed. After Mau had left he had laid down with his body stretched out down the bed in between my legs and his head resting on my bare stomach. And every time my stomach made an odd noise I heard a subtle snort coming from the supposedly resting redhead. Apparently he found my stomach's protests amusing.

He walked to the door and I quickly huddled under the covers, not having a shirt on after all. Even though I was in the bedroom and there wasn't a clear view from the front door of the apartment to the bed, I still felt a little embarrassed. I heard some talking and then Gaara walked back in, carrying several food bags. I emerged from under the covers, self-consciously tucking them under my armpits, and saying, "So what did we end up with?"

He handed a bag to me to investigate while he parked his butt on the bed and investigated his own bag. We munched happily on the contents, both finding various food items that we liked, which didn't really surprise me. After all, Mau knew everything.

After a few minutes of munching I saw Gaara take note of my having used the covers, which was becoming a little awkward since every now and then I had to catch them as they tried to slip out from under my armpits while I was eating. Why I was self-conscious now was beyond me, but it had happened. I could feel his stare nailing me, but I ignored the burning curiosity in his gaze, the obvious question left unanswered. It didn't take very long for him to grow irritated. Despite appearances, Gaara was not naturally a very patient person. And even less so when it came to me, at least in certain circumstances, which was something I was quickly discovering about him as we got more and more into this couple thing.

I heard a little grumble come from his throat and that was all the warning I had before the covers were suddenly yanked, swiftly tugged away unceremoniously from their shielding position over my breasts before I could respond adequately. I yelped and pulled my knees up, shielding my chest that way and glaring at Gaara over them. "What was that for?!"

"Why are you covering yourself?" He calmly asked, as if he hadn't just thrown a mini hissy fit.

I scowled. "You are one rude son-of-a-bitch sometimes, you know that?"

He just shrugged, unconcerned by my cussing at him, and not apologetic at all. "You didn't answer the question." He pointed out.

I groaned and looked away from him, chewing on a dumpling as I purposefully ignored him. We sat in silence for a good few minutes before I could feel Gaara beginning to get fussy again. I heard a rustle and then an uncooked broccoli floret bounced off the side of my face.

My eyes shifted to the side to pin him with a slanty eyed glare. "Did you just throw a piece of broccoli at me?"

He blinked calmly at me, not saying anything as he ate some broccoli from a salad bowl. I had never seen him eat raw broccoli, or raw vegetables in general, before, so I knew what the gesture meant. In Gaara language it meant, ' _yes I did throw broccoli at you, do you have a problem with that?_ '

I was instantly infuriated and lost my shyness. I slowly unfolded and leisurely crawled across the bed towards him, noting the way his eyes darkened and sharpened, dipping down towards where my breasts were now visible and swaying with my movements. As soon as I got close enough I very delicately relieved Gaara of his salad bowl, and then before he knew what hit him I had dumped the contents of it over his head, leaving the bowl perched on his red hair like a little hat.

And then I busted out laughing.

Gaara sat there for a moment, giving me a sullen look, lots of broccoli, cabbage leaves, carrots, onions, and various other vegetables scattered around him on the bed, a large majority of it pooling in his lap, and one particularly brave cabbage shred sticking to his nose in an obstinate sort of way.

I nearly died laughing, the sight so amusing that I ended up keeling over and guffawing, a few of the greens poking me in my back. "Oh that is too good!" I very nearly wailed in hysteria as Gaara just continued to give me the same sullen, somewhat bemused, slightly irritated, but a little amused expression.

Eventually the amusement died down and I just laid there feeling a little giddy from all the laughter, and not self-conscious any more. After a while of me simply humming and relaxing, Gaara relaxed, took the bowl off his head, picked the small shred of cabbage leaf off his nose, placed the bowl very carefully on my bare stomach, and then very pointedly dropped the cabbage leaf shred inside of it.

That almost sent me into another giggle fit, but somehow I managed to keep it to a single snort, the bowl unbalanced and falling off my stomach to land on the bed beside me.

"Point taken…" I said, not at all apologetic.

"Hm." He responded with his typical Gaara grunt/hum. And then after a moment he added, "So why did you cover up earlier?"

"Oh that…" I sighed. "I just got a little shy. Not so much anymore though. I guess the cure for shyness is a little broccoli. Go figure." I giggled.

He snorted. "And now there are vegetables in the bed."

"How very healthy." I snidely responded, causing him to briefly chuckle.

And then I groaned, rolling over and getting up onto my knees. I could feel that there were a good amount of veggies stuck to my back and I twisted trying to see them over my shoulder and bent one arm up behind me to try and brush them off. The leaves in particular seemed particularly stubborn. After a good amount of contorting and grunting, I heard Gaara sigh. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I obliged, shifting in a circle on my knees to present him with my back. I felt him delicately picking at my back, removing flattened leaves and some very small bits of harder veggies that had pressed in and stuck.

"You probably should take a shower. There's some green sap on your back in spots where you crushed the leaves."

I sighed. "I suppose so."

I got off the bed and headed towards the bathroom. I entered the giant shower, turned some knobs, quickly washed the green shit off my back and then paused before exiting right away like I had planned. This would be the perfect opportunity to relieve that still lingering irritating tension coiled in my lower belly.

* * *

 **A very short lemon/lime warning. You know what to do, skim till the next bold-print.**

* * *

I sucked in a deep breath, feeling a little self-conscious as I snuck my hand down my stomach to burrow between my thighs. This would only be the second time that I had done this, but I pretty much remembered where that tiny bud was located and the movements of my fingers required to get off. I was still worked up enough that it didn't take me long to get to a point where I was panting and leaning against the wall of the shower, having had to move away from the direct spray, since it had been washing away some of the slipperiness and was making it more difficult for me to rub myself in the ways I needed to, to get the desired result.

It didn't take long, although there was a certain amount of fumbling to start off with, having to refigure out the right way to rub that little bump, but I had quickly picked up a rhythm and speed that worked, still being so aroused that it hadn't been too difficult to find something pleasurable. Especially since I was in Gaara's shower and his scent helped speed along the process exponentially.

I huffed and a small groan slipped out as I got closer to my peak and I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth. I had to remind myself that Gaara was in the other room, and I didn't really want to alert him to what I was doing. At that thought, the tension built and then burst, all my senses exploding as that rush of sensation I remembered from before rocketed through my body, making me curl forwards and almost lose my balance. I slid down the wall, panting and shuddering, forcing myself to not make a sound, although I had my hand over my mouth just to make sure. I landed on my knees and rode out the last few contractions.

Leaning my shoulder against the cool tile of the shower wall, I sighed, feeling much better now that I had relieved some of that pent up tension. I relaxed for a minute or two, and then convinced myself to get up and rinse my privates off under the still going spray, not wanting to get all that slippery nonsense on the pants I had brought in with me, still lacking underwear. Of course I had already gotten it on them, but it had dried out a little and I didn't want to rewet them.

* * *

 **Told you it was short, you're safe now, read on.**

* * *

Once finished, I toweled off briskly, sliding the pants back up my legs, waited for the flush to leave my face and then walked out of the bathroom. My goal was to act like nothing stellar had happened, but that was thwarted when upon my exit of the bathroom I was confronted by Gaara, who was sitting at the end of his bed, staring at the bathroom door with a gaze almost intense enough to be a glare.

I stalled, my feet held fast to the ground as if I had just stepped in tar. "Um, Gaara?"

His eyes traveled from my feet to my face, very slowly, and the look he was giving me had a knowing quality to it, almost smug in an intense sort of Gaara way, and I was suddenly very nervous indeed. I really didn't want to think that that look meant what I thought it meant, but I was starting to think that maybe he had somehow caught on to what I had been doing. _Shit._

I gulped and then put on some false bravado. "Why the heck are you staring at me like that for?"

He just very _slowly_ blinked and smirked, and I knew that somehow he knew.

I blew out a breath of air. "Shit. Don't answer that." I muttered and walked towards the bed, circumnavigating around him and flopping down on one side.

His head swiveled so he could give me that same look over his shoulder. "You don't want me to say that…" he started, and the smirk on his face told me everything I needed to know about where that sentence was going, so I quickly intercepted him.

"Stop. Stop right there. No I don't want you to say it." I said firmly, giving him a stern glare. His grin widened.

"Very well. If you insist. I believe I'm going to go take a _shower_ myself." He put enough emphasis on the word shower that his meaning was difficult to miss.

I gasped, sat up on the bed and stared at him with my eyes wide and mouth open as he calmly walked to the bathroom and entered, shutting the door behind him. I heard the shower start and flopped back down on the bed, wondering what the hell had just happened. Was he seriously planning on doing _that_ , while I was right here, and knew he was planning on doing it? _Really?_

I had a hard time believing it at first. And then suddenly, I found that I didn't have a hard time believing it anymore. I sucked in a deep breath, having caught whiff of a very fascinating, musky sort of Gaara scent coming from the bathroom, and immediately I knew how he had known what I was doing.

 _He had fucking smelled me. Damn._

 _Great, just great._ These animal noses were going to prove very interesting for two people in a relationship, much more so than I would have thought.

I groaned loudly and put my arm over my face, vaguely hearing a deep chuckle respond from somewhere in the bathroom. "Oh come on Gaara!" I whined, knowing he could hear me. I only got another of those deep chuckles in response, this one slightly louder than the first.

I huffed and lay on the bed, growing aroused again as his scent steadily increased. _Great._ At this rate I was going to have to take another ' _shower_ ' myself. I could see this becoming a repetitive cycle. _Fucking fantastic._ Well, actually it was pretty fucking fantastic, at least his scent was. I could easily get addicted to that aroused Gaara scent, having not really payed much attention to it when we had been doing stuff, since my mind had been on other things, but I now knew that it had definitely been affecting me, even if I hadn't known it at the time.

After a short amount of time his scent changed again, growing saltier, and then the smell dissipated. I blinked, assuming that he had just finished, and not really sure whether I should be aroused, grossed out, or surprised that I had actually been able to distinguish the scent of it. I huffed, deciding to just ignore the whole thing and take a nap. I was still exhausted from yesterday and taking a nap would help with that, and maybe help get rid of some of this nonsense that had now rebuilt. I scooted up the bed and located a pillow, working on getting comfortable and nap ready. I had just settled down when I heard the bathroom door open, the scent wafting out with the humid air and making me tense.

I felt him get on the bed and then he was curled behind me, apparently deciding that my idea was good enough to imitate. I sighed, and drifted off to sleep after my body had slowly calmed back down, again.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So, the first few lemony type things happened. YAY! I know some of you are probably frustrated they didn't go any further than that, but just bear with me. As I've said, Ren is going to need to go slowly, so just be patient. Stuff happens just about every chapter after this, just so you know. :3 Ah, the joys of young love.


	70. Burn With Me: Chapter 47 & 48

And so we spent the rest of the day mostly napping, eating and recovering our strength from the day before. And the next day we got back to work, regular duties resuming. Which kinda sucked really. But that was life.

I resumed my bodyguard duties, sticking like a fly on honey to Gaara's side, even more than before. Since I had nearly lost him, I was taking my duties very seriously now, even more than before. And even though most of the village absolutely loved him, there were still those random few that still felt like the Shukaku's host shouldn't be Kazekage. They still held his past against him and thought he was a criminal that should be locked up instead of honored as the leader of the village. Most of these people had lost a loved one to him when he was still a psychopath, and I felt for them, I really did, but they just needed to deal with their own problems and recognize that he had changed. Mostly.

There were still those moments where I could see the old Gaara shining through every now and then, but they were very brief. And usually it was when he was getting all smirky with me in the bedroom strangely enough. But still, I was getting sick of having to fend off these poor people who were stuck in the past.

Like a few weeks after the big kidnapping incident. Things had gotten so busy, that Gaara and I hadn't really had any time to ourselves after that one day spent in recuperation. We were in the midst of overhauling the security systems, everyone a little shaken that Deidara had managed to sneak in past our defenses to begin with. Plus, new emergency procedures were being put into effect, and drills were being run to acquaint everyone with them. We were also building bomb/disaster shelters, which would help in the case of another attack on the village. Gaara had been super busy with paperwork and going through the village from place to place to get important shit done, and that was when things sometimes happened.

Today was one of those rare days when a crazy person came out of the woodwork and surprised the hell out of all of us.

We were walking down the streets of Suna, Gaara personally carrying out some inspections of various facilities throughout the village, which he did on a regular basis, and was even more important now as the new shelters were being built. I was walking one or two paces behind him, the two of us relaxed and relatively unconcerned. Although, as always I had my senses tuned in to any potential danger, which allowed Gaara to focus his mind entirely on all the worries that occupied him daily with his Kazekage duties.

Suddenly, something felt a little off, a slight disturbance in the fine network of sensory chakra that I maintained in a certain radius around Gaara alerting me to the fact that someone was approaching from above, on the rooftops. They were coming quickly, but didn't want to be seen. And that immediately set of all my bells.

"Shit. Gaara!" I exclaimed and he jerked around, knowing that tone and immediately on high alert.

And then a shadowed figure leapt off a nearby rooftop, but since I knew he was there I was ready for him. I darted in front of Gaara and met the attacker head on. He threw some knives, which I dispersed easily enough with a gust of wind. And then I charged, throwing a Kazegame fist forward and knocking the figure back into the wall.

I quickly summoned up my fastest cat and sent her to fetch some guards. They arrived shortly thereafter and took the nonsensical guy away. After that excitement we continued on to our destination. It was like this sometimes, random shit happening and making me wonder at the sanity of humanity over all. I was under the impression that people just really needed to calm the fuck down, in general.

And then there was the other thing that made me think that. As we approached our destination, which was the training facilities, we ran into Matsuri and a few other of Gaara's groupies. I heaved a sigh and groaned, knowing what was about to happen.

"Lord Kazekage!"

"Oh, it's Lord Gaara!"

"Gaara Sensei! I mean Lord Gaara!"

We were immediately assaulted by multiple squeaks of delight as they caught sight of the redhead. They came forward, and began their typical doting, never quite touching him or getting inappropriate, but fawning all over him in such a way that it made my blood boil.

"Lord Gaara, you look so handsome today!"

"Yes, especially so!"

"Oh, but he always looks so handsome!"

"I know, with that red hair! And those eyes!"

"Can we help you with anything Lord Gaara? _Anything at all_?" One particularly forward young lady asked, bending just a little at the waist and pushing her breasts forward with a subtle twitch of her back and shoulders, suggesting that maybe she was propositioning him.

"Nari! Please excuse her, Lord Gaara. She's a little over excitable. But perhaps I could assist you instead?" Another girl got in on the action, and they vied for his attention, working their bodies in fascinating ways, curving their hips and arching their backs, bouncing the boobs and wiggling their butts, twirling their hair and pursing their lips.

"Gaara Sensei! May I ask where you were going?" That was Matsuri of course.

He blinked at her and answered, "The training facilities." He completely ignored the preposterousness of the other two girls, who were now in a little bit of a catfight, even including hair pulling.

"Oh! And what were you going to do there?" Another girl asked, fluttering her eyelashes. "Train? But you're already so strong! I can't imagine you need to train at all!"

"I'm inspecting the facilities." He answered, strait forward and not responding in any way to their advances.

"Oh I see! How wonderful of you! A personal inspection from the Kazekage!"

"Are you going to be inspecting any individuals training there?"

"Yes, I wouldn't mind if you gave me a personal inspection Lord Gaara…" They were using more obvious come-ons, now. I could feel my eye begin to twitch.

"Just the facilities." He responded firmly.

They all twittered. Re-flocking around him, the snubbed girl moving to the back of the pack, along with the other two girls that were still arguing over who got to come-on to Gaara. _Silly things._

"Oh please, Lord Gaara!"

"Yes!"

"Lord Gaara!"

I had had enough. "Alright girls. This is important Kage business, out of the way please." I stepped forward, sating my request loudly and firmly, but politely despite my impolite thoughts towards these fangirls.

They all turned to me, huffing and fussing and making a general whiny complaint.

"You just want him all to yourself."

"What gives you the right to talk like that?"

"Yeah, if Lord Gaara wants us to leave, he can ask us himself."

"What are you, his girlfriend or something? I thought you were just his bodyguard! We don't pose him any threat! Chill out!"

I ground my teeth together. "I will ask politely only one more time, move aside."

If anything, they crowded closer and fussed more.

I growled. "Alright ladies, you asked for it!" I walked forward and summoned a gentle wall of wind to push them all back and to the side, to which they all protested loudly.

We walked by and continued on with business.

I was in a foul mood for the rest of the day. There was something about fangirls that really ticked me off. And they weren't the only group I had to deal with throughout the day. On the training grounds there were more of them. One girl walked up to him as soon as we got there and asked if she could _help_ him, again with the fluttery eyelashes and sashaying that suggested something seemed to be the most popular line so far.

Another girl obviously began showing off for him and I saw her readjusting her shirt to show off tons of cleavage. There were even more that would bat their eyelashes at him or give him desiring looks. It was driving me batshit crazy. All this open propositioning of my boyfriend was making me want to get into a catfight myself, and with my cat, it would be a _real_ catfight.

There were some girls that were braver than others and actually approached him, giggling and attempting to engage him in chitchat, making flattering remarks, offering to help him in any way they could, and everything else they could imagine up.

I got more and more hostile, but reined myself back, assuming a tightly controlled demeanor and tersely telling them to back off, but in the most polite way possible, which never failed to get some sort of snarky comment. It drove me nuts and I was beginning to have some difficulties, Kitty getting all sorts of territorial. I growled, my hackles rising as more of these dumbass girls flocked to him like he was some sort of big, bad, sexy magnet, which he was, but he was mine not theirs.

 _Woah._ _I gotta_ _calm the fuck down, they're just a bunch of little … girls._ I struggled to change my mood. After all, Gaara was the Kazekage, super attractive, extremely powerful, had that bad boy thing going for him even now, so of course they were going to fawn all over him. He was awesome.

And no one knew he was already taken…and that had to be the way it was, at least for now. Otherwise our relationship would cause problems for our working relationship and no-one would take me seriously. Maybe after I had proven myself, become more of a fixture, maybe then we could openly be a couple and no one would question it.

So I limited myself to politely telling all these little girls to go and leave the Kazekage to do his business. While glaring daggers at them. That didn't seem to stop them though, and even more popped up. It seemed especially bad right now. It had been this way before, but now it was even crazier, ever since he nearly died. I wondered how long it would take for them to all get over it already.

I grumbled quietly to myself the entire time as we finished up with the inspections, getting a few sideways glances from Gaara. I made sure to keep my comments to myself, my grumbling quiet enough that I didn't think he could hear me.

Finally we finished up with that and headed back up to his office. Once there, he began on some paperwork. He had a mountain of it again, never having enough time in the day to get it done. He had only had a neat desk for a very short time, and occasionally he would get it back to that state, but soon it was out of control again. And I knew it was a constant source of irritation for him.

Kankuro came in at that moment, taking in the piles of paper that Gaara was nearly buried under, with me sitting off in the corner, and he blinked. "Hey Gaara? I think you need a secretary man."

Gaara raised his eyes to give Kankuro a baleful look.

"On it." Kankuro said and left, not even saying whatever it was that had brought him into the office in the first place.

And that was how we ended up with having Matsuri as a secretary and receptionist. She was set up with a little desk area outside of the Kazekage's office, and she took control of all his paperwork. The first day she came in, she grabbed up all the papers and ran off to sort them, looking super determined. It didn't take her long, and before we knew it she had filed all his papers, and had everything he needed ready for him every day. She was singularly driven, similar to the way she had been when she was his student.

As much as I respected her for being Gaara's student and for choosing him when no one else would, she was starting to get a little under my nerves. Because, aside from the determination, excellent work ethic, and fast mind when it came to paperwork, she was still in Gaara's fanclub, and I could see her sending him longing looks whenever he happened to enter whatever room she was in. With a good amount of trepidation, I could see that her girl-crush was developing into something deeper and more dangerous.

 _Great._

I really didn't want to get into a pissing contest with the girl, because I didn't really want to hurt her, emotionally or physically. But it seemed that it might be heading in that direction. As the paperwork shit slowly sorted itself out, growing smoother and smaller thanks to Matsuri's help, and as we all had a little more time on our hands, I could see her starting to try, in her shy timid way, to get his attention.

It started with her coming in to work one day with her shirt a little lower cut than usual. As I walked in behind Gaara, I examined the way she held herself, the way she pushed her chest out a little, the way she blushed when his eyes glanced at her, the way she smiled. It was so obvious. Gaara grabbed the files that she handed to him, and I noted the way she angled her hand, the way she deliberately handed the files to him so that her hand would brush against his. As we went into the office, and shut the door behind us I followed him to his desk.

Normally, I parked myself in my own chair, having claimed a little corner for myself and a comfortable chair in which to sit. So to have me follow him to his desk was surprising to him, and his eyes slid over to give me a questioning look. In typical Gaara fashion, he didn't bother to actually say anything, preferring to ask me with his eyes instead. He sat in his chair, behind his desk, and looked at me, keeping up that curious stare of his.

I sat on his desk, parking my butt on the edge and twisting my upper body to look at him sideways. "Gaara."

He blinked.

"You do realize that Matsuri has a huge crush on you right?" I asked seriously, bringing my face in close to his and lowering my voice to make sure that we weren't overheard.

"Yes." He answered in his monotone way.

"Okay good, because I wasn't sure if you had noticed." I leaned back a little, resting my hand on the desk and leaning back on it at an angle, my legs on either side of the corner, as I twisted towards him.

He raised a non-brow and his eyes traveled the length of my body, obviously wondering why I was sitting on his desk. I grinned at him. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest and giving me a look.

I turned and folded my legs up under me so I was now sitting cross-legged, facing him as he sat in his chair. If possible, his eyes just got even more sardonic.

"So, do you have a plan?" I inquired, leaning an elbow against the desk and folding over to lean my chin on it, all curled up and leaning towards him.

He slowly blinked. "About?"

"Matsuri."

"Oh." He stared, and then rolled his eyes to the side.

"So?" I pressed.

"No." He huffed. "Should I?"

"Well, what if she starts getting all pushy about it? Maybe even asking you out on a date, or trying to kiss you or something?" I asked.

"I doubt she would. She's much too timid." He pointed out.

"True. But given enough frustration and I bet she'd get a lot bolder. I mean did you see what she was wearing today?"

"Yes."

"See? Even you, the prince of oblivious, noticed her boobs. She's getting bolder. For sure." I whispered, waving my hands around to expend some of the energy I was limiting with the whispering.

His eyes tracked the movements of my hands, making him look spastic with the way they were jerking around seemingly at random. "Hm." He grunted and hummed in his typical Gaara way, and then it seemed my words registered because his eyes suddenly narrowed and zeroed in on my face. "Did you just call me the prince of obliviousness?"

"No. Technically I said the prince of _oblivious_. No ' _ness_ ' at the end of the word." I corrected snidely.

His non-brows rose and he gave me an incredulous look. " _I'm_ oblivious?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning.

"It took you longer to be okay with us than it did for me." He stated matter-of-factly. "Even though you seemed to have feelings long before that." He added, making my mouth pop open.

"Say what?" I squeaked. "Okay, first of all, what makes you think you were okay with us longer than I was? And second of all, what makes you think I had feelings long before I was okay with us?" It was true but I wanted to know how he knew.

He blinked. "You seemed to get very shy around me, almost like you were frightened of me, for a while. And then it was like you were trying to avoid me, although the way you looked at me didn't seem afraid but…wistful."

I blushed bright red, never having known he had picked up on all that. _Well darn, guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought._

"And here I thought I had been all sneaky about it." I sighed, admitting defeat.

A slightly smug expression spread over his face. "To be fair, I didn't know what it meant at the time." He conceded.

"Well that's good at least." I huffed, sitting back up strait and swinging my legs off the side of the desk, next to his chair, intending to get up. But then I paused, thinking of something else. "So, you said you were okay with the idea of us long before me? So even though you knew I had feelings, you never made a move. Why?" I asked, curious now.

He shrugged. "The first time I tried to kiss you, you seemed to have a panic attack and avoided me for a whole week. I decided to wait until you were ready and let you make the first move."

"Oh. Well that makes sense. Wait! So you really had feelings for me then? You weren't just curious after that damnable movie Temari put us up to?" I asked, shocked, sure that he had just been curious then.

He blinked and then snorted. "You thought I was just curious?"

"Well…yeah. And you didn't really do anything to change my mind, since you seemed to go back to normal after that. Aside from stalking me. By the way, what was that about?"

"I told you, you were acting afraid of me. And that was very difficult for me to handle."

"So you decided to just force me to get comfortable with you again by being everywhere I went?" I asked incredulously.

"Essentially." He blinked slowly, not seeming at all apologetic or uncomfortable with us discussing his stalker tendencies.

"You do know it's a little creepy that your first impulse was to stalk me right?" I pointed out.

He didn't respond, just continued to stare at me for a moment and then he just sort of shrugged, as if he kind of acknowledged it but didn't really care. I snorted.

"You're a real piece of work Gaara. You might have everyone else fooled in this village, but I know you still have some of those creepy psycho tendencies still lurking around in there. Like the whole stalker thing. And throwing shit at me to get my attention. And always going for my neck! What the hell is up with that anyway? Every single time we spar, or when you're trying to intimidate me, you always go for my neck! Do you have a choking fetish or something?" I laughed, happy to tease him, given the opportunity.

After a long moment, a little smirk quirked up the corner of his lips and he leaned his head back against his chair, looking down his nose at me in a way I hadn't seen him do in a while. He didn't deny anything, and after a moment he rumbled, "Probably." Again not sounding at all uncomfortable or apologetic, just mildly amused.

I gasped and then huffed a laugh, not actually expecting him to admit to having some sort of fetish. But then again, he was a little weird, so it made sense. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a Dominant streak in him a mile wide, not that I really knew much about that sort of thing.

I rolled my eyes at him, not entirely comfortable with the idea that my boyfriend may or may not have a thing with my neck. And then I made to scoot off the desk, but was stopped by his hand on my neck. On the front of my neck, not the back. I glanced down and to the side, surprised.

"Let's test it shall we?" He muttered and pulled me into a kiss, using his hand at my throat as a way to pull me down, which meant he had to squeeze a little, but he was very gentle about it this time. Unlike when we sparred and he choked the living daylights out of me.

I gasped and then allowed myself to be pulled into the kiss, thoroughly enjoying it, especially since we typically had very little time to do that sort of thing. We hadn't had very much couple's time in the past week or so, only sneaking in a kiss here and there as we worked.

Once he got me into the kiss, his hand didn't squeeze, just mostly rested on my neck, although I could still feel a little pressure letting me know it was there. After a brief, but thorough kiss, in which he even managed to sneak in a little tongue, he pulled away and I swallowed, again noting that it felt weird with his hand on my neck, and reopened my eyes, hazily observing him.

"So…did it do anything for you?" I asked amusedly, getting a little squeeze in response before his hand retreated back to his crossed arm position.

He blinked and didn't respond for a while, then he said straightforwardly, "It's better if I have you up against something and can pin you by your neck."

I laughed, thoroughly amused. "So you're an ' _up against the wall'_ kind of guy huh? No surprise there." I hopped off his desk. "Maybe Kankuro did walk in on more than just the tail-end of a fight that one time. If he hadn't walked in, who knows what might have happened." I chuckled.

"Hm." He was back to his no-syllabic answers and his eyes followed me as I plopped myself down in my chair.

* * *

 **Chapter 48**

Later that day, the twins got back from their mission. They had resumed it right after we had all gotten back to the village safe and sound. They reported in, gave their reports to Gaara, and then turned to me. Hikaru pounced, jumping next to me and grabbing my head in a headlock.

"You're still alive! Huzzah! You know…you really need to stop with these crazy shenanigans of yours. Don't be going off and getting yourself killed every time we leave the village!" He scolded, giving me a noogie.

"Ow! Stop that!" I yelped, swatting at him.

Kaoru laughed and joined in the fun, draping himself over my shoulders on the other side. "Oh, but Ren! You are so much fun to pester! And what did you expect, after you scared us liked that." He pouted.

I just sighed and put up with their ridiculousness for a while. I chanced a glance at Gaara, and he appeared to be ignoring us, but I saw that tiny, barely noticeable smirk that said he was amused. After a few minutes I shooed them off, saying that I was working and they should go rest. They grinned, gave me kisses on my cheeks, saluted, and ran off.

And then Gaara slanted his eyes over to me, his smirk widening just a tad. I rolled my eyes. "Don't say it. I know, they're ridiculous."

He chuckled. "Compared to those two, Temari and Kankuro suddenly seem so docile."

I snorted. "Maybe. But don't forget how much of a pest they were before we got together. Especially Temari."

He chuckled again and got back to work. I pulled out the scroll I was currently studying, and set about reading as I heard Gaara rustle through a few papers. I was currently doing my best to try and track my origins. After all, I had to have parents at some point, and I had always had such strong chakra that I would bet they were ninja. So I had decided to look into prominent wind chakra style users, to see if I could find any that used some jutsus similar to my own style. I had found a few potential candidates, but it would be impossible to tell. _Maybe I should just look into having some sort of DNA testing done?_

On that thought I heard a pop and whoosh, knowing that Mau had poofed into existence somewhere behind me. Probably perched in one of the many porthole windows circling the room.

"Hey Mau? You think you could round up some texts having to do with DNA testing?" I inquired.

"Sure toots, I'm right on that." She meowed behind me, sounding very relaxed indeed.

"MAU! Have you been smoking catnip?! Again?!" I asked, turning to look up at her

"Whateva' whateva.' I'm gonna go get that book for you, don't get your tail in a twist. Me-ow." She purred and then I heard her go poof.

I sighed.

After a pause Gaara asked, "DNA testing?"

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you from your work." I glanced up, meeting his eyes.

"It's fine." He rumbled, putting his pen down and giving me his undivided attention.

"Oh good."

There was a brief pause, and then he reiterated, "DNA Testing?"

"Oh. Right. Well, I've been trying to track down my parents." I explained.

"Aren't you a member of the Hitachi clan now?"

"Yes. I just wanted to know. You know. Maybe it would tell me why I ended up on the streets. I dunno, it's just something that's been bugging me for a while now." To be honest, I was starting to think it might have to do with some of my nightmares as well, and they had been so bad lately, I was starting to grasp at straws.

"Hm." He glanced off to the side. After amount he said, "I could ask the hospital to run a series of tests, top secret, and then send us the results."

"That would be…" I trailed off, not even knowing what to say.

He nodded. "I will arrange it."

I nodded.

And so, a week later, I was making my way to the hospital, Gaara having strict instructions to stay in his office until I returned, to which he had given me this look like, ' _sure, sure. whatever you say_.' If he had been the type, he would have mockingly saluted me. It's probably what I would have done.

This should go fast though, so I wasn't too worried. I arrived and was quickly shown to a room, since they knew I needed to get back to work posthaste. My blood was drawn, and they took various samples of my saliva and hair and stuff. It went quickly and relatively painlessly, although for obvious reasons I wasn't too fond of needles now, but I was soon back on my way to the tower. As I was walking that way, I saw a hawk gliding through the sky, obviously an important messenger, and I hustled my booty.

When I got there, the news had arrived that the Akatsuki had struck again, killing the two-tail host. My blood went cold, knowing how close Gaara had been to that fate. And the fact that it had only been maybe a month since the last attack, that worried me.

"Do we have any idea why they're after the tailed beasts?" I asked him, as soon as I was in the office.

Gaara shook his head, looking as worried as I felt. "No. But it is concerning."

"Damn strait. I don't like that we don't know what they're up to, 'cause you know it can't be good."

He nodded.

It was simply very bad news. And it had shaken me more than I wanted to admit, because it meant that they were still out and about and doing shit, and that meant there was the possibility that they would be after the rest of Shukaku's chakra. It haunted my mind for the rest of the day.

After working late into the night, as always, we retired, long after Matsuri had left. I went into my apartments, right next to Gaara's. Despite having spent thee few nights here and there in Gaara's rooms, I hadn't made a habit of it. Although I wanted to.

I made myself dinner and sat on my bed, munching and wondering what the hell I was supposed to do if they came back. It was a terrifying prospect, one that had troubled me for a while now. My nightmares were just as bad, if not worse than before because of it. In fact they had been so bad lately that I had simply not been sleeping. It had been 4 days since the last time I had allowed myself to sleep, and it was wearing on me. In fact it was starting to show more and more prominently, and even today Gaara had noticed.

We had been having lunch and because of the lack of sleep my reflexes were a little more dull than usual, which was a very bad thing for me to let happen, since I was his body guard. The guilt ate at me every day, but I simply couldn't bring myself to sleep, the nightmares were too terrible.

At lunch I had fumbled my chopsticks, at least ten times in a row, dropping the same damn piece of chicken back into the bowl over and over and over again. Eventually I gave up and just set it aside sullenly, my pride taking over. _Great, now I can't sleep and I can't eat. This is fantastic._

"Are you okay?" I heard the concern in Gaara's raspy tone and looked up to meet his eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine." I grinned, trying to hide it.

"No. You're not."

I sighed. "I just haven't been sleeping…very well lately." I glanced away.

"The nightmares?"

"Yeah."

"You should still try to get some sleep tonight. Your eyes are starting to look as dark as mine."

"Oh haha very funny. They aren't that dark." I grumbled. "Besides, I don't think I could pull the look off as well as you do."

He chuckled.

Thinking back on it, I sighed, undressing and getting ready for bed, the anxiety building in my gut. I knew what was going to happen as soon as my head hit that pillow, and I wasn't looking forward to it. Not at all. Even so, Gaara was right. I did need some sort of sleep. And so I gritted my teeth, stripped down to my sleep shirt and panties and crawled under the covers, lying stiffly for all of one minute before sleep dragged me down kicking and screaming.

As had been the case for the past month, the dream was an amalgamation of all the shit that had happened. As always I was running, always running, either to something or away from something, but always running through my nightmares.

This time, I was running towards a cage and I knew Gaara was inside. I had to get to him, had to reach him, had to save him. I ran, pushing myself to the limits, straining my muscles to run faster, and yet feeling like I was running through molasses. My breath came in great gasps, my chest aching, my lungs feeling like they were tearing apart inside my rib cage. And then finally, finally I was able to reach the cage, those large metal slats glinting sharply in the weird light of my nightmare.

Ignoring those wickedly sharp edges, I wedged myself in the gap, straining, reaching my arm through, trying to reach him, to somehow drag him out of there. That sharp metal cut into my sides, grating against my ribs in a nails-on-chalkboard sort of feeling, and I felt warm sticky wetness seeping down, over the skin of my hips. I ignored the pain, and the feeling of wrongness I got from the metal grinding into my bones, and stretched forwards, trying to reach him.

His pale eyes met mine, and he thrust out a hand towards me, reaching to grab my hand that was straining towards him. His eyes widened in horror, and he shouted my name as the cage creaked warningly.

And then the gap closed, and I could feel it cutting into me. The sharp metal slats became sharp metal needles that bit deeply into my stomach and back, all the way up both sides of me, biting all the way through until I was skewered and unable to move, the intense pain drawing a choked cry from me. I was only able to watch as I saw that giant statue rise up out of the ground behind him, and then a blue ball of chakra came down out of its mouth and scooped him up. And then he was floating, held in that blue floating ball of chakra as red chakra leaked from every part of his body, pulled out of his gaping mouth, nose, ears, and wide eyes, as he thrashed, seemingly in agony.

I cried out again and thrashed, trying to break free, the agony nearly unbearable as I skewered myself deeper onto the needles. But there seemed to be no way to break free, the metal piercing me uncompromising, unbending, unbreaking, and I was left dangling helpless, as I saw Gaara slowly being killed in front of my eyes.

And all I could do was watch as the man that I loved was drained of his soul, of his life force, of everything that made him Gaara. The blue chakra turned red and became blood, and soon Gaara was floating in a pool of his own blood, and the blood rose, reaching me. My feet were submerged, then my ankles, then my knees, in the sticky, warm, crimson liquid. All up my legs, the blood, Gaara's blood, rose faster and faster, and I knew. I knew he had to be dead. That all this blood meant he was dead. And yet I couldn't stop thinking that he was going to drown, that I had to save him from drowning in his own blood.

And then it was over my head, and I couldn't breathe. The scent of copper overwhelmed me and all I could see was red, the thick liquid closing in and taking me, going in my mouth, filling my own lungs, until I felt as if I was the one drowning. The needles in my body turned to glass, and somehow I was able to slip free of the glass shards, break out, though they wedged deeply in my stomach and back. I was free, and I swam desperately towards the last place I saw Gaara. I felt him and pulled him to the surface, both of us escaping.

And then I was climbing out of a pool of water, dragging Gaara with me, climbing out onto the sand. It was night, the stars were shining and the moon illuminated everything, and yet the shadows were dark and menacing. I looked down onto Gaara, and he was pale, much too pale, the red of his blood-soaked hair in startling contrast. His skin was almost blue, it was so pale, and his beautiful turquoise eyes were open and staring blankly up at the sky. There was no life in his pale, dulled eyes.

I gasped, staring numbly into his dead gaze, staring at the empty body of the one I loved, knowing he was gone forever, and though his eyes were staring at me, he was no longer with me. It made no sense to my dumbstruck mind.

And then I cried, sobs shaking my whole body until it ached with the pain. I could feel the glass in my stomach stabbing deeper and deeper, now stabbing into my heart, as I sobbed. My chest burned in agony, and I didn't know whether it was from the pain of Gaara's death, the pain of crying so hard, or the pain of glass stabbing into my heart, but it was unbearable. And I still continued to cry, the tears, the choked sobs, unrelenting, holding my body hostage as I grieved the death of my loved one. I cried until the tears that ran from my eyes ran red not from his blood, but from my own.

I carefully gathered him into my arms, and cradled his head against my chest, feeling the shocking coldness of his flesh, feeling how stiff he was, feeling the lifeless corpse. And it hurt me, his cold, dead flesh hurt to hold, the frozen feeling of him, the unnatural stiffness, all so wrong it made me nauseous. And yet I couldn't let him go, I couldn't release my grip on him. And I cried, rocking us back and forth, digging my fingers into his bloody matted hair.

And then I raised my head to the heavens and an awful sound tore from my throat, full of anguish and grief.

I woke, the terrible scream waking me and pulling me upright in bed. I sat, gasping and shivering in the darkness of my bedroom, and I could feel tears running down my face. My chest was sore as if I had actually been sobbing, and my body quaked in terror from the nightmare. The tremors that shook my frame made my teeth clack together and ache as I clenched my jaw to try and stop the chattering. I sucked in a shuddering breath and turned on the light, sitting on the edge of my bed.

I stared numbly at the floor for a moment, and then stood, but my legs were trembling so hard that I quickly fell to my knees on the floor. My hands were pale and sweaty and trembling uncontrollably as I held them up to look at. That had been a bad one, worse than the usual terrible fare. I groaned, and after a moment mustered my strength and tried the standing thing again.

The fear from the dream hadn't left me, it never did. The nightmares took their toll hours after they were technically over. And the horrid pain from the dream hadn't left either, lingering alongside the insane grief that had pulled that gut-wrenching shriek form my throat, the sound that I knew I would actually utter if Gaara ever were to die. The sound I already had uttered, once before, when I had been so sure he would die.

I shuddered, and suddenly bile rose, and I gagged. I hustled to the bathroom, stumbling and staggering as I went and finally just crawling the last few feet, getting there right as I threw up, only just barely getting to the toilet bowl in time. I vomited whatever was in my stomach, which wasn't much, and then I continued to dry heave, just throwing up water and bile. My stomach cramped, the pain from the nausea and the throwing up making me dizzy. I got lightheaded and the cold sweat that already coated my skin from the nightmare gained another layer and I shivered uncontrollably, feeling like I had a fever, miserably hot and cold at the same time.

I blindly reached for a mint, the flavor in my mouth so foul that it was potentially causing some of the dry heaves. I had a basket of mints on the back of my toilet for exactly that reason. That had shown up recently, since the nightmare had gotten this bad. I popped a mint, managing to dissolve most of it before the next dry heave. Of course dry heaves were just that, dry, and so it didn't affect the now pleasantly minty taste in my mouth.

I groaned and leaned back against the sink, curling my knees up and wrapping my arms around them, tucking my head down into my folded arms, waiting for the next contraction, just in case I actually did manage to spit something up.

It had only been a few minutes since the original scream that had woken me, maybe only a minute, since I had beat it pretty quick to the bathroom. I heard some sounds coming from the bedroom now, but the pounding in my head was taking up too much of my attention for me to really notice. So I sat there, curled in on myself, wishing that my body would stop the violent trembling that still racked me. It would be nice if it would also stop with the nausea and the headache that now pounded demandingly in my skull. I just wished it would all go away. And that was on top of the fear and emotional agony that still lingered in my system, even after waking up and acknowledging it as just a dream.

The bathroom door opened and I raised my head, staring blearily at the figure in my doorway. "Gaara?" I hoarsely whispered, my throat beyond raw from the screaming and the throwing up.

He quickly walked towards me and dropped to his knees beside me, gathering me to his warm body. I shivered, and then wrapped my arms around his neck, drinking in the warmth of his body, the way it felt so alive, helping to disperse some of the dream. And that broke the somewhat numbness I had fallen into, drawing me right back into the world, and I was overwhelmed with relief. Even though I had known he wasn't really dead, the dream had felt so real, the anguish spearing my very core, and so the relief was immense, the joy very nearly painful. And I cried, without thinking about it really, I buried my face into his shoulder and sobbed.

After the violent sobs subsided and I had calmed somewhat, although shudders still sent spasms through all my muscles, I felt one of his hands shift, his hand and then his arm slipping under my knees. And then I was lifted into the air, cradled in his arms, and I gasped, clutching my arms tighter around his neck. I felt the movement of his walking and then he sat and the bouncy quality told me we were on my bed.

I shuddered again and sighed, relaxing my death grip on his neck. My head rested on his shoulder now, beginning to feel a deep sense of exhaustion puling at me, but I was afraid to go back to sleep. If anything, the little amount of sleep I had actually managed to snag during the nightmare had actually worn me out more, the nightmare itself having exhausted me even further.

I didn't protest though, as Gaara scooted us both back into the center of the bed, having to sort of drag me along with him. He scooched all the way to the top and then managed to tuck us both under the covers. I didn't help much, since I was too out of it from that goddam nightmare, but I was impressed, somewhere deep inside my dumfounded brain, that he had managed to get us both tucked in so smoothly, even with the few bumps along the way.

I snuggled closer to him, crawling practically on top of him and resting my head on his chest. He rolled onto his back to accommodate me, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly to him, which alerted me to the fact that I was still trembling a little. A small shuddering sigh escaped me as I relaxed more fully into him. His heartbeat under my ear told me he was alive and here with me now, both of us safe and warm in our bed, together. And it was that knowledge, and that knowledge alone that finally allowed my muscles to relax completely and my fear to subside, letting me sink down into sleep again.

Almost immediately my subconscious started trying to bring forth images of Gaara's death again, but somehow I was able to ignore them as false, every time I felt like I was sinking into that dark pit of despair I could feel something pull me back, feel the presence of someone warm and loving as they held me and comforted me, and I was able to drift, staying away from that dark pit of terror in my dreamscape but instead to explore some of the calm peaceful beauty of it.

I found myself flying, gently soaring through the cloudless skies of the starry nighttime desert, flying towards the horizon, where I could begin to see a rosy tint lining it. I was flying next to a glorious big fat full moon, the silver touching me from behind as the rosy gold began to paint my face from in front of me.

I felt the warmth touch my face, felt the glow of the sun as it slowly rose, the golden light shining through the sky and turning it the color of morning, the beautiful pinks and light oranges and lavenders surrounding me as the silver of the night receded. I touched down on the edge of a cliff, on that I had actually seen near the village. And I landed behind a figure who was standing right there, on the edge looking into the rising sun.

At first I couldn't make out their face, since they were in profile from the golden light shining from behind them, but soon enough I could make out the brilliant red glowing almost like fire around his head from the light of the morning sun. I walked up to him and he turned his head, his turquoise eyes catching the light and seeming almost lit from within, a gentle smile on his lips as he held his hand out to me. I took his hand, walking forward until I was also on the edge of the cliff, feeling no fear, only peace and love as I looked into the sunrise.

We stepped off the edge together, falling for a short distance but then simply going on, no longer falling, not really flying or floating, just being, there together in that space. I could see something looming on the horizon, some large black ominous cloud far in the distance, and I experienced a brief stab of fear, looking at it from our peaceful bubble. I knew it was coming, I could feel it, and yet, somehow, I also knew we could survive it, that we could survive anything as long as we were together.

The dream faded as I woke, a vastly different awakening than the last time, gentle and warm, feeling comfortable and peaceful instead of cold and terrified.

 _Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump._

 _What's that sound? Oh right, Gaara's heart. Well, that's lovely._ I grinned, nuzzling my face even more firmly against his chest, surprised that I had somehow maintained the same position the whole night. I remembered placing my head here last night after the nightmare, feeling comforted by the sound of his heartbeats, and I would wager a guess that the sound had helped me to not have another of those awful dreams again, the first time since having slept in this particular bed.

I hummed, contentedly and straitened my head, resting my chin against him and tucking my stacked hands underneath my chin so it wouldn't be so pointy on his muscles. I opened my eyes and fuzzily took in the pair of light jade eyes staring down at me.

I gave him a small sleepy grin and closed my eyes again for a long moment, almost a very slow blink before opening them again. "Good morning."

A tiny quirk appeared at the corner of his mouth, answering my grin. "Morning." And then a small frown creased his brow as he gave me a concerned look. "What exactly happened last night?"

I sighed, and buried my face into his chest, my hands resting above my face now. "What was your experience?" I asked, wanting to know what exactly had been his perception.

"I heard you…scream. And then I came in here to find you curled up in your bathroom, trembling, and having thrown up. Was it another nightmare?"

I groaned, realizing I had forgotten something. "Damn. I forgot to put up my sound barrier, no wonder you came rushing in. Sorry."

"Sound barrier? So you regularly scream like that and I haven't heard it because of a sound barrier?"

"Well…yeah. I mean if I didn't put it up you'd be coming in here every night and wouldn't be able to get any sleep at all."

He gave me a look.

"Oh right. You still don't sleep very much. But it seems like you've been sleeping a little more lately."

"Yes. But that doesn't mean that it's more important than you."

I blushed. "Au contraire. I seem to remember Temari telling me an interesting story about how you've gotten so cranky now, that if either of them wake you up they fear for their lives."

He snorted. "Perhaps. But they aren't you."

I mumbled something into his chest, my blush increasing. He was being too sweet and it was making me a little shy.

He reached down and I felt one of his hands on the back of my head, burrowing into the hair there and tugging, intently suggesting that I raise my face to him. I groaned and obliged, letting him tilt my head up.

His eyes were intense as he looked into mine seriously. "If you're going to be having nightmares every night, and I can't help you because you muffle the sound of your screams, then we're going to have to rethink our bedding situation."

I blinked. Was he seriously suggesting what I thought he was? My mouth dropped open a little and I gave him a shocked look. "W-what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I meant what it sounded like. You seem to sleep better with me present, so perhaps we should consider sharing a bed." He restated.

"You mean sleep together every night?" I squeaked.

"That's what I just said." He gave me a look.

I stuttered, shocked. I was deeply touched, the fact that he was willing to go that far just to help me sleep was unbelievable. "I…I wouldn't want…I mean I don't want you to compromise your sleep, or privacy, or anything. I mean, sure I do seem to have fewer nightmares when you're around, but wouldn't it be a burden for you to have to sleep with me every night?"

He blinked, looking a little surprised. "Would it be a burden for you to sleep with me every night?" He inquired, sounding a little tentative.

I gasped, thinking. No, it wouldn't be a burden at all, it would be wonderful. But it was also kind of scary, to be spending that much time with someone, especially when you were asleep and vulnerable. It seemed very…intimate.

I sucked in a breath. "No. It wouldn't be a burden." I paused, and then admitted, "It's a little scary though."

"Why?"

"It's…I guess because it's new? And it seems so…um…intimate."

"Does intimacy frighten you?"

I flushed and buried my head in his chest again, despite his hand in my hair. Thankfully he relaxed his grip, otherwise it would have been very painful.

"I guess. A little. Yeah. Maybe." I mumbled into what I realized abruptly was the warm skin of his chest. _Apparently he sleeps without a shirt on. Lovely._

There was a long pause as he gently began to stroke the top of my head with his hand and play with my hair absentmindedly. "Is that why you didn't want to go any further physically?"

I sucked in a deep breath. _Well yeah, he's a smart cookie._ I should have seen that one coming. "Er…yeah, kinda." I mumbled.

"…hm." He hummed, and then after a minute or two of silence, "Is there anything I can do to…help you not be afraid?"

I shuddered lightly, knowing the words weren't a proposition, but still feeling like they were dangerously close to one, and that sent a thrill through me. The innocent quality to his tone told me he hadn't meant them that way at all. If anything he seemed hesitant, like he didn't want me to feel afraid and wanted to help.

"I don't know." I propped up my chin again to look at him. "I guess it's probably just shit that's lingering on from…eh…childhood issues and stuff."

"Childhood issues?"

"Yeah, I mean, being an orphan… um… being alone…abandoned by my parents. Having no-one to love me, I guess it just gave me some emotional problems." I shrugged and looked away.

He tensed a little beneath me. "I would imagine that having me abandon you as well didn't help."

"I wasn't going to mention that…but…well…yeah."

"I'm sorry." His words were whispered so softly, the apology more full of emotion and regret than any I had ever heard come from his lips before.

I turned my eyes to his, and took in the deep regret, pain, and sadness present there. "I know. I don't blame you at all, now that I know what happened. I forgave you long ago, even before you remembered."

His eyes flared, widening for a brief moment with intense emotion and then a gentle, and yet still somehow intense expression washed over his face, looking at me so tenderly that I almost found it hard to hold his gaze, and yet also felt like I couldn't look away.

His hands came up, one on the back of my head, gently caressing my hair, and the other tenderly resting along the side of my face. "Thank you." He whispered, urgently, his voice trembling.

He pulled me up with a gentle tug of his hands, close enough that he could press an achingly tender kiss to my lips. And then he sighed, resting his head back down onto the pillow and gazing at me, a tiny gentle smile playing around the edges of his mouth.

But then his expression grew serious and intense and he said firmly, "I will never abandon you again. You should know that." My breath stopped in my lungs, and I stared at him, my eyes wide with shock, my mind going blank. He pulled me up again, pressing a firm kiss to my lips, and then relaxing somewhat, gentling enough that he could whisper against my lips, "I could never leave you. Never again. I couldn't live without you. I love you."

I gasped against him. He had never said it before. I had suspected, but he had never said it. And to hear the words spoken was intense. In fact, it was the first time anyone had ever said that to me, in my entire life. I had never known that I needed it, never known what kind of reaction I would have to hearing those words.

My breath stuck somewhere in my chest, trapped underneath my frantically pounding heart. It took a moment, but eventually I was able to liberate the air captured in my lungs with a nearly violent gasp, arching up abruptly to get a good look at his face. My whole body coiled, my legs coming up on either side of him so that I could straddle him and lean down a little closer to his face with better balance.

I could feel the heavy weight of salty tears on my eyelashes and had to blink to force them out of my eyes, the fluid too thick in my eyes and making my vision blurry. "Wh-what…wait a minute…did you just…? Did you say…?" I wasn't even sure what I was saying, and I was sure it didn't make much sense.

Gaara's eyes softened, a look of understanding passing through them, the turquoise almost liquid. "I said, I love you Ren." He whispered, making the words unmistakable.

I blinked, and then blinked again, and again, completely thrown for a loop. I sucked in a shaky breath and then blew it out. I sat there, dazed, looking down at him with probably the stupidest expression on my face as I tried my best to assimilate the new information. It was surprisingly difficult. It was as if there was something inside me, telling me that this had to be a trick, that the words couldn't be real, because I wasn't supposed to be loved.

"But…but I'm…no one…it's impossible…." I muttered, trying to figure out why in the world it felt so wrong when it felt so right. _Why wasn't he supposed to love me again?_ I mean, I had known he had feelings for me, even suspected that he loved me, so why was it so difficult for me to believe now that he had said it?

Why did I feel unworthy of his love?

I covered my face with my hands, feeling like I needed to hide, but also seeking the darkness behind my palms, trying to sort some crazy shit out. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

I felt Gaara sit up beneath me, his stomach bunching up and forcing me to slide down a little, sitting more in his lap now with my legs around his waist. I buried my face and hands in his chest, pressing the backs of my hands into his warm skin.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, gently pulling back and lightly wrapping his hands around my wrists. He pulled on of my hands off my face and pressed a gentle kiss into the center of my palm.

A small sound escaped my throat at the sweet gesture, an incredibly odd sound, a cross between a hiccup, a sob, and a laugh. "I don't…I don't feel like I deserve…to be loved at all…and I don't know why."

His breath went in on a hiss and he blinked, his eyes wide and shocked. "Why? Why would you…"

"I…I don't know…I'm…I'm trash, and no one is supposed to want trash…" I wasn't even aware of what I was saying, just mumbling the first thing that came to mind.

He blinked and then frowned, his hands tightened on my wrists, and then yanked, getting my attention. "You are not trash."

 _Wait a minute. Of course!_

My scar had gone deeper than I'd thought, to cause me such confusion. And abruptly I was angry, angry at the little twerp that had managed to fuck me up so badly. But the anger melted away as I realized that I felt free, as soon as I had acknowledged where it had come from, those strange confusing feelings had gone away, leaving me feeling lightheaded and a little giddy.

I gasped and met Gaara's eyes, which were still intense and almost glaring at me for my last comment. "I know what it was, it was this…" I tugged at one hand and he released his grip. My fingers found the scar at my hip, tracing its shape over my shirt almost absentmindedly. "I was remembering what he had told me, but I just didn't know it."

He blinked, scowled, looked murderous, and then his face cleared and he looked into my eyes searchingly.

I smiled gently, bringing my hand up from my hip and tracing the side of his face. "I just realized that I don't have to listen to him anymore. Because he was wrong. You…you love me…and that negates everything he said." I answered the question in his eyes.

He relaxed and his eyes gentled again, a tender smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "I'm glad."

I answered his smile with one of my own, feeling like a dark cloud had been lifted from my being, from my very soul, one that I hadn't even known was there. I was a marvelous feeling.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Okay, so I know I said sexy stuff was going to happen just about every chapter, but obviously there isn't really anything sexy going on here. Well I said, JUST ABOUT every chapter, not every single chapter, lol. We don't want this to turn into a porno story now do we? Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed the ending, Gaara finally said 'I love you' Huzzah! And Ren worked through some more shit...double huzzah!


	71. Burn With Me: Chapter 49 & 50

**Warning: There will be some major lemons in this chapter. I will put in a lemon warning when things start getting explicit, so if that's not your thing you can skim until the end of lemon note. I don't wanna break things up too much so I'll try to keep it subtle for everyone else.**

* * *

We still had to go in to work of course, but I felt so free, so happy, that the things that would normally have bothered me, like seeing Matsuri look longingly at Gaara as we entered, simply didn't bother me at all. I felt powerful, strong in a way I had never felt before. A weakness I hadn't even known was there had been purged from me. It was as if I had taken an epic soul shower and some nasty shit that had been clinging to the skin of my essence was washed away, leaving me sparkling clean. And it literally felt sparkly, the joy difficult to contain.

As the day wore on, the intense joy simply melted into a dep inner peace that I knew wouldn't go away. I hummed as I read some texts on DNA testing, the ones that Mau had gotten me while she was high as a kite. What a weird kitty.

I found the research quite fascinating, and I couldn't wait to get back my results, but I knew it might take a while for them to do a thorough background search. And I wasn't very familiar with DNA tests in general, which was why I was reading up on them.

And then we had to go to a council meeting, and my good mood persisted even there, despite the hostile glares I still received from one or two of the councilmembers. Most of them had accepted me by now, but there was still that one cranky older guy that apparently was particularly bothered by my presence. He seemed rather disagreeable in general, always picking a fight with anything Gaara ever said and always opposing his decisions. I wondered how long Gaara would be able to put up with him.

I didn't know what the guy's deal was, but I simply gave him a beatific smile today as he started up with his nonsense, and surprisingly that made him shut up. Probably from surprise.

The meeting discussed what to do about the recent news of the two-tail's host demise. We had to increase security, increase our scouts, strengthen our political ties with our allies and be sure to get information from them. So on and so forth. All this talk about the Akatsuki made me nervous. I really hated them, I hated them and I feared them. And for good reason, they were the only ones that had gotten close to actually killing Gaara. I knew it was only a matter of time before they would come back.

Finally the meeting was over and we were able to go back to the office. Suddenly, as I entered the office and sat in my chair, I felt the need to do something, having been sitting on my ass for so long. "Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"What do you think about training this evening?"

"That would be a good idea. We must keep up our strength. Especially now."

And so, once the sun began to set and Gaara had signed everything he needed to sign for the day, we headed off to the training fields. At this time of day there wasn't anyone around. We trained for a while, working independently on our various jutsus, and then I was rudely interrupted in the middle of what I was doing.

"You know, you could just ask instead of dumping sand over my head." I grumbled as a wad of sand splatted on top of my head. I turned to glare at Gaara.

He just smirked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. To my surprise, a rush of sand immediately was sent in my direction, and I gasped, dodging, only to find Gaara hidden behind it. I yelped and blocked his fist. He was feeling a little rambunctious. _Okay, this should be fun._

I grinned, enjoying the thrill of the fight. I threw my own punch, which he caught, using my fist to drag me forward. I huffed as he used his hip as a pivot, slinging me around his body, to let go and send me tumbling over the ground. Which would have worked if I hadn't trained so hard on moving and bending to match the wind. I was already tilting backwards, and most people would have landed on their butts, but I simply finished the curve, bent over backwards, planted my hands, and used the momentum to flip my feet over my head, landing in a crouch.

I could feel him coming up behind me, so I parked one hand on the ground and kicked my feet back, tripping him up. I grabbed his leg between mine and torqued my body, twisting to force him off his feet. I heard and felt a thud as his legs were swept out from under him.

I laughed and freed my legs, quickly spinning around and gathering my feet beneath me again, lunging and catching him as he tried to get back up. I bulldozed over him, forcing him back to the ground with a forearm across his collarbone. I straddled him, which didn't feel as awkward as it used to when we had sparred before. I sat there, grinning down at him.

He gave me a look, and I suddenly knew that I hadn't won. _Oh shit._

His hands came up, one grabbing my wrist on his shoulder, the other one planted itself on my sternum, right below my breasts. And then his sand crawled up over my thighs, sliding up and wrapping around them in thick bands, just like last time.

 _Great._

I groaned, rolling my eyes, and was thrown on my back, which I knew was going to happen. He pinned me to the ground with a hand on my neck. I gave him a look, complete with arched brow. "Really? I don't think now is the time for your fetish."

He gave me a wide toothy grin. Which was disturbing and hot at the same time.

I wiggled some wind beneath his sand, loosening the ropes around my thighs enough that I could squirm free, which was difficult with his body weight on top of me, but I managed. As soon as my legs were free I wrapped them around him in a vice grip, noting his widened eyes. I clamped down tight, arching my hips violently to force him up and off, pushing up until just my shoulders were on the ground and then twisted my body. And he was under me again.

I grinned victorious. And then we proceeded to fuss at each other with our elements, which probably would have looked quite amusing to anyone watching our fight. I was sitting on him, my thighs clamped tight on his waist, and both of our hands were waving in the air, making hand signs, controlling our elements as they did battle around us, my wind struggling to keep his damn sand off me. We sat there in that position for a good couple of minutes, just fighting through wind and sand.

And then he bucked. I yelped, almost losing my balance, his body powerful enough beneath me that even with my legs tightly clamped to him he was nearly able to unseat me with that one move. It was enough that he was able to roll us over again with another arch of his body. I felt this heels dig into the ground this time, and he used his legs as well as the muscles in his hips and torso. I squeaked as I once again found myself under him. This was quickly becoming less of a sparring match and more of a wrestling match. Frankly I didn't mind at all, finding the full body contact rather enjoyable.

"Oh come on!" I growled and then huffed as he flattened me with one hand on my stomach, nailing me to the ground with a good amount of force.

And I found a great use for all those grey belts around his hips, grabbing them with both hands and essentially using them as handles as I forced him back, able to get a knee up between us. I scrambled against him, shoving him back with my palms on his chest now, and doing a good amount of kneeing in his stomach region. And I was on top again.

"Haha. Thought you had me that time didn't ya!" I gloated.

He snarled, and once again I found myself riding a bucking bronco named Gaara. Damn, he was tough to stay on. "Oh for fucks sake," I cussed as I was once again bucked off. This time, he got behind me, and I found myself face down in the dirt. How he managed that one, I didn't know.

I spat out a mouthful of grit and felt him wrap my ponytail around his wrist a couple of time before his fingers dug into the short hair at the back of my head. His thighs clamped down on my sides, almost painfully. And he pulled my head up, just a tad roughly, arching my neck.

"Is that absolutely necessary?!" I gasped, doing my best to squirm out of this one.

A dark chuckle was the only response I got, and it sent a shudder down my spine.

"Hey. Get a room you two!"

I groaned as I heard the unmistakable voice of Kankuro bellow.

On the other hand, it distracted Gaara enough that I was able to shove my palms against the ground and fling myself back, knocking him off. I twisted and spin around, only to have Gaara's hand meet me on my throat again as he slammed me back down to the ground, this time on my back. "Goddammit Gaara!"

I heard Kankuro laughing in the background

"Shut UP Kankuro!" I yelled, from my spot underneath Gaara.

He just laughed louder.

"Son of a bitch." I growled, ready to go and smack him around. But first I had to get a very riled up red head off me.

"Get off!" I yelped and bucked under him, which didn't do much. Except for make Kankuro get nearly hysterical.

"Oh come on Ren. I do not need to see my little brother getting off."

I groaned. Gaara smirked down at me. "What? I didn't mean it that way. Stop being all smirky." I growled up at him.

His smirk only got wider.

And while it aroused me, it also ticked me off. So I dug my heels into the dirt and shoved up with all my might, managing to dislodge him and nearly have him choke me to death when his weight was thrown forwards onto the hand on my neck. I got my legs up and shoved my feet into his chest, sending him onto his back. I landed on top of him, this time with a knee digging into his stomach, and both my hands wrapped around his neck.

"You like that?" I taunted, never having actually bothered to go after his neck before to my knowledge.

I heard Kankuro hooting and hollering in the background.

Gaara's gleaming eyes narrowed into slits, and his hands came up to wrap tightly around my wrists. His sand came up again, this time bypassing my legs entirely and just going up my back and wrapping around my neck. Great, now his sand was getting in on the neck action. _Lovely._

With a firm tug of the sand I was back on my back and Gaara pinned both wrists to the ground above my head, sitting firmly on my hips and squeezing with his thighs to make sure I knew he wasn't going anywhere. I groaned, knowing I wasn't going to get out of this one very easily.

"You like that?" He repeated my earlier jib silkily with his deepest voice, and managed to make it sound completely different. I flushed just a little.

"Hey Gaara, keep your kinks to the bedroom would ya?" I heard Kankuro bellow, and Gaara's hands spastically tightened on my wrists.

I probably could get out of Gaara's hold, if I really, really tried, but it would take some time, and I really wanted to smack Kankuro upside the head for all of his comments, not to mention the way he was laughing now. I squirmed and bucked, giving it one last go before I gave up. Gaara narrowed his eyes and I felt sand slip up over my thighs and then strap them down to the ground tightly, the same thing happening with my ankles. I briefly considered trying to sneak some wind in under the bindings and loosen them like last time, but dismissed it, deciding this match could probably go on for a while, and not even entirely sure I could do it, since his sand was pretty dang tight. He had used his super hard sand and had compressed it into rock hard bands around me that would be much more difficult for me to shift. Finally I sighed and went limp, deciding to give this one to Gaara.

"All right I give. Now let me up so I can go beat up your dumbass brother." I snarled.

After a good minute he let me up, seemingly reluctant to do so. And I stomped over to Kankuro, rubbing my neck on the way and giving Gaara a glare over my shoulder.

Once I got to Kankuro I made a fist and brought it down on the top of his head. He winced.

"Ow. What was that for?!" He yelped, rubbing the top of his head and giving me a squinty look.

"You know good and well you big pervert." I huffed, crossing my arms and giving him my best Gaara-style glare.

"Hey I wasn't the one who said…"

"I didn't mean that and you know it." I prodded him in the chest for emphasis.

"Do I? I don't know. I've been hearing some very interesting rumors about you spending the night in my little brother's room."

I blushed and smacked him again.

He yelped. "Okay, okay! Jeez, between you and Temari I'm gonna have a permanent goose-egg riding on my head."

"Maybe you shouldn't say stupid shit then."

I humphed and stalked off, followed by Gaara who, judging by Kankuro's yelp and hustled footsteps, had given Kankuro a rather nasty glare.

We headed back to the Kazekage tower, and my intention was to take a good long shower to get all the sweat and dirt off. My heart was up, my adrenaline going, and I felt really fantastic. We hadn't sparred like that in so long; it reminded me how much I loved it. And now that we were a couple, I was able to fully appreciate the sensuality of it. Before, I had forced myself to ignore the way I felt while fighting with him, the various positions we ended up in, our bodies straining against each other, it felt very…well, in some ways it felt kind of like sex. Of course the sparring traded pleasure for pain in some ways, since his blows didn't exactly feel great, but the physical exertion definitely reminded me of it.

And now that I was comfortable with those sorts of thoughts, it was even more so. The wrestling match today where we fought for top position, in particular, had been…enjoyable. So I needed a shower for more than one reason.

For a second I entertained the idea of inviting Gaara to join me, but that thought was immediately snuffed. I knew I wasn't quite ready to see him fully naked yet. And I certainly wasn't quite ready for him to see me fully naked. Damn, I was more aroused than I had thought to even consider it seriously. I sped up my pace, needing to go ahead and take care of my problem. I didn't need to be making decisions in the spur of the moment.

We got to the tower and I headed right for my room, or at least that was the plan. When I started to peel off in that direction I got hooked around the neck by Gaara's arm and he hauled me the extra few feet into his room. I squeaked, not expecting the sudden assault. _Holy fuck, what's Gaara up to now?_

I was shoved into his room and I whirled around to give him a piece of my mind at the same time the door slammed shut, several locks clicking into place. "Gaara! What's with the…" I was cut off when his lips crashed into mine.

I gasped, and his tongue immediately took the open invitation. I was startled senseless for a few seconds, but then responded eagerly once I figured out what was going on. I was startled by the intensity of my reaction. I felt like I was almost out of control, which was frightening, or it would be if I was paying attention. But I wasn't paying attention, all my focus was on Gaara, on his lips, his tongue, the way he was pressing up against me, and the way I felt.

If I was warm before, I was firecracker hot now, it felt like I was melting from the inside out. Well, who knew, sparring was an aphrodisiac apparently. I groaned, and he answered with a growl and pushed me up against a wall. _Where did that come from?_ I wasn't aware of where we were in his apartments, so I didn't know there was a wall anywhere nearby. But apparently there was, and he found it, his up-against-the-wall tendency coming out to play.

I gasped again and he hissed against my lips, pinning me to the wall with his hips. I squeaked, the abrupt contact with his…area, a little unexpected. And he was definitely very excited, I could feel that easily enough now that he had shoved it rather unceremoniously into my lower abs. As before, the contact sent heat shooting through my stomach, the knowledge that I had done this to him very arousing.

 _Okay, fuck it. Maybe I'm ready after all._

He was rough, but somehow he maintained enough gentleness that he didn't hurt me, the violence tempered. I moaned, and even though it was embarrassing, I didn't try to pull away, I knew it wouldn't work from experience. And the sound seemed to rile him up even further, his hands landed on my hips and pulled me up the wall. I yelped and immediately wrapped my legs around him for support, which turned out to be either a fantastic idea, or a fantastically bad idea, depending on your point of view.

* * *

 **Lemon warning: just in case you haven't picked up on it…explicit stuff is coming up.**

* * *

My whole body flinched as his hardness came into rather intense contact with a certain part of my anatomy that had been throbbing and metaphorically jumping up and down trying to get my attention for a little while now. The back of my head banged against the wall as my neck arched from the sensation. Frankly it was a little uncomfortable, the pressure a little too much, my pelvic bone protesting. Not to mention that a certain little spot sent a zip through me, telling me that it didn't like _that_ much attention. _Ouch._ And yet it was also kind of necessary, since it was essentially holding me where I was on the wall.

I gasped, "Too much!" and he eased back, holding me against the wall more with his hands than his hips, which felt infinitely better. In fact it felt really damn good, now that the pressure wasn't painful. His eyes speared through me as he nailed me to the wall with his intense stare, and though the eye contact made me a little shy, it was also impossible to break. He watched me intently as his hips rubbed against me, and I gasped, my own body arching against his in response. His eyes flared and he took that as a good sign I suppose, because he slammed his mouth back onto mine as he did it again, and I shuddered, gripping his hair tighter with one hand and the nails of my other digging into his shoulder. That particular motion did several things, for both of us, rubbing a certain part of each of our bodies together, which felt very good, and I could only assume it felt good for him too, judging by his deep groan as he bucked against me.

A rhythm quickly established itself, and both of us were soon gasping into each other's mouths more than we were kissing.

Small sounds began to come out of my throat, and I frankly didn't give a fuck anymore. Normally it would embarrass the hell out of me, but I wasn't exactly feeling normal. I squeezed him with my thighs and arched into his body, rubbing myself against him like a cat in heat, which was pretty much exactly what I felt like at the moment.

I could feel tension building low in my stomach, but even though the sensation of grinding against him like this was fantastic, and enough to drive me nuts, it wasn't enough to actually make me orgasm. That required a much more localized and specific kind of touch. And while I felt safe in that knowledge, still feeling kind of uncomfortable with the idea of doing that with him, it was starting to get incredibly frustrating, my body shouting at me in so many different languages I couldn't understand it, aside from the fact that it was demanding that I do something, NOW.

Apparently, he was experiencing something similar, because he abruptly grabbed me behind the knees and pushed off the wall, bringing me with him. I squeezed him with my legs and supported myself with that and my arms on his shoulders as he walked, and then I was falling backwards, the both of us going down on the bed, and we landed with a bouncy jolt. We somehow got up into the middle of the bed, and it was certainly not very graceful, but neither of us was paying attention.

I gasped when I was suddenly showered in sand as his gourd dissolved on his back. He was on top of me, so even though a large majority of it flew across the room in great big ropes, some of it fell, landing on me and then sliding off in rivers as it snaked off the bed to join the rest of it as the gourd reformed on the other side of the room. It didn't bother me really, I had been completely immersed in the stuff before after all, but it was a bit surprising. But maybe he thought that it had upset me because he jerked back and his gaze assessed me anxiously for a second. I put an end to that nonsense by grabbing the back of his head and pulling him back down for a kiss.

He tensed, then groaned, and finally sighed against my lips as he relaxed, the kiss becoming a little gentler as he thanked me through his lips for not being afraid of his sand. Everything shifted then, being less out of control and mad passion, and turned into something more tender. It was still very passionate, but there was definitely more gentle emotion now in the caress. I had thoroughly enjoyed the crazy lust from before, but I perhaps enjoyed this even more, the love so absolutely sweet to taste in his kiss that it intoxicated me.

I heard a rustle, and felt some odd movement against my front. Confused, I pulled away and glanced down. I gaped at what I saw, little tendrils of his sand efficiently unbuckling all of the nonsense on his harness.

I laughed. "Well, that's convenient. You cheater, if I tried that we'd have wind burn."

He chuckled and shed his undone harness and then his coat, leaving him in a black shirt and pants, which he then brought down to just pants as he slipped his shirt over his head as well. The speedy disrobing threw me for a loop for a second, and I blinked up at him.

"That was fast." I noted.

He grinned down at me, and there was something in his expression that had me looking down as well. I gasped, not having even realized that his sand had been working on all the buckles of my armor as well. "You are too sneaky Gaara. Much too sneaky." I muttered, amused.

His grin widened and he quickly reached down and assisted me with the removal of my arm guards and breast plate, and then he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pushed it up. I untied my skirt, which was getting all tangled up between our legs, and grappled with it for a second, but eventually managed to free it and toss it aside. Then I sat up a little and with his assistance we had my shirt over my head, leaving me in just my breast bindings and pants.

He stared down at my breast bindings, and his brow scrunched into a frown. I busted out laughing, having never predicted my bindings becoming such a problem. "What's wrong Gaara?" I teased, tucking my hands behind my head in a relaxed pose.

He gave me a look, and I snickered at the frustration in his eyes. His lips thinned, his eyes narrowing dangerously, and I tensed, knowing that look. Before I knew what had happened, the front of my bindings had been sliced open, and I was left gaping in astonishment at the sharp little sand dagger held in his hand.

"W-what the…!? You owe me a new long bandage, I hope you know that." I scolded.

"I'm sure I will owe you many, if you keep insisting on wearing these." He grumbled.

"As long as you replace them…" I muttered.

And then I lost my train of thought as my breasts were suddenly under assault. He bent down and kissed me again, and I gasped at the sensory overload, my hands going into his hair as his hands remained on my chest, all his weight held by his legs. I could feel his strong thigh muscles bunching, and one of his legs slipped out from between mine and slid up beside me on the bed to help support his weight and balance.

I yelped into the kiss as his fingers found my nipples, my mind getting dangerously fuzzy under the sensorial input. The last time I had stopped us probably even before this, certainly before I got this aroused, but I didn't think I could do that this time. I was already way past the point of being able to stop without going completely fucking insane.

His fingers played with the peeks of my breasts, and my body surged beneath his as he discovered certain things that drove me completely out of my mind, like pinching them and rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers. I found myself whimpering and my body twisting as I couldn't figure out if I wanted more, or if I needed to get away from the near impossible stimulation.

And then he slid off of me, lying beside me instead, one of his legs still hooked over one of mine. His hands left my breasts, one of them going behind my neck, and he used that elbow to support himself as he continued to hover above me. His other hand started going down, my stomach tensing underneath the caress as his fingers slid over it. His fingers slid down and then feathered over my hip, near my pubic bone, over my stretchy pants. I gasped and jerked back from the kiss, realizing his intention, and stared at him wide eyed.

"May I touch you here?" He asked softly, his fingers drifting to the side just a smidge to indicate, if I wasn't already aware of exactly where it was he meant when asking for permission to touch me.

I sucked in my breath, my heart feeling like it had stopped in my chest. Was I ready for that? My body said yes, with an intensity that shook me to the core, and yet…my mind was still a little unsure. But frankly, I didn't think I was ever going to be surer than I was now. I had already recognized that my intimacy issues weren't going to go away unless I forced them to, and the only way to do that was to push my boundaries. And this was definitely pushing boundaries.

But…

My hesitation didn't seem to bother Gaara at all. He simply stayed where he was and stared down at me patiently, watching my facial expression with a keenness that almost made me a little uncomfortable.

"Are you still afraid?" He murmured, his head tilting a little to the side as he watched me with compassionate eyes.

I glanced away, flushing. "Kind of, but it's more just nervousness." I sucked in a shaky breath, "But…I don't think that's going to go away, at least not without a little pushing. So…just go slow okay?"

I peeked back up at him, noting the way his eyes shifted from compassion to eagerness, the intensity of his eyes giving him away. His pupils visibly dilated in a shocking display. Normally, for whatever strange reason, his pupils were nearly invisible, and for the life of me I didn't know why. It didn't make sense at all. So, to see them suddenly so visible and taking up most of his eyes was truly shocking. And I definitely could see that tell-tale gleam of curiosity in those darkened depths.

I groaned, knowing he was going to be impossible to get off me now, he was probably going to be pushing me as hard as he could. _Great, what have I gotten myself into?_

I tried to force my rising nerves back down, but it was nearly impossible. His fingers twitched and then moved to the side, sliding onto my pubic mound. His head bent and he gently kissed me, probably to try and distract me from my nerves. It worked, to some degree, but most of my focus was still on his hand.

His hand explored my lower abdomen first, and my pubic mound, not venturing in between my thighs yet. We were both too focused on what was going on down there to be really kissing, and eventually we parted. Since he wasn't actually touching me yet, I was able to watch his expression. The slightly confused, curious expression almost made me want to giggle.

He kept inching down, and kept feeling just my pubic bone, and I suppose that must have felt strange for him, since he was a guy. I mean I had told him exactly where it was on a woman, but then again that had been a long time ago.

He looked utterly fascinated.

 **Gaara POV**

Even though his dick was throbbing insistently, he really only had one thing on his mind at the moment. His curiosity had been peeked and it had driven him absolutely insane to wait for her for these past few weeks, so he was planning on satisfying that itch.

He was grateful that she wore these stretchy pants, because it allowed him to feel mostly what was going on through the somewhat thin material. And he wasn't feeling much. It just felt like the skin of her stomach continued on down smoothly, and he was beginning to wonder if it was just a tiny slit right in between her thighs that he was looking for. He frankly had no clue what it was he was going to feel.

He reached the top of the curve of the pubic bone and then started to slide his fingers down.

At a certain point he felt the bone give to a slightly softer, fleshier feeling, which happened at the same moment that she gasped and jerked, nearly flinching. He immediately lightened his touch from probing to lightly coasting along the surface of the material, using only enough pressure to feel what was going on. He glanced back up to look at her face, his gaze having gone down her body, watching his hand. Her eyes were closed and her brow furrowed a little, and she was biting her lip. She looked kind of tense, and a little nervous. For a moment he considered stopping, but decided that she would tell him if she needed him to stop.

His fingers drifted to the side, going down the crease of her thigh and hip instead of right in the middle, where he was sure her genitals were now, based on her reaction. He figured it would be less intense if he went down the side and then worked in slowly that way. But he really had no idea.

 **Ren POV**

As soon as his fingers hit the top most part of where things started, I tensed up, the more sensitive flesh there tingling from his touch. I was definitely relieved when his fingers shifted and slid down the side instead of just going right for it. I shivered and my eyes closed. Having his fingers there was more intense than I would have expected, making my heart hammer jackrabbit fast in my chest. For a second my thighs tensed, a knee jerk reaction, but I tried to force them to stay at least a little parted to give him some room to work with.

And then his fingers were very gently sliding over the outer, not quite as sensitive part and across to the folded part in the middle. I jumped, my body twitching at the almost ticklish sensation. But it was ticklish in the most pleasant way possible, so not really ticklish at all, just incredibly sensitive. I shuddered, and once again, I had to force myself from closing my legs on him.

My hips bucked, but I forced myself to stop that, my stomach muscles tensing. He went really slowly, like I asked him to, his touch remained light and tentative as his fingers explored the strange folds in that area. The feather light touch was about to drive me absolutely fucking nuts, feeling so good and yet not enough, not nearly enough. And yet part of me didn't want him to touch me any more firmly, afraid of my reaction to actual stimulation from him.

His fingers drifted around, going down first to the bottom of the slit, paused where all the folds and stuff connected at the bottom, and then drifted back upwards again, getting a mental map on the area probably.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was confused. When he moved sideways in from the crease of her thigh, he felt a difference in the texture and softness of the flesh, but he really had no idea what was going on. Feeling it through two layers of fabric made it very difficult for him to tell what exactly was going on, even despite the stretchiness of the fabric. All he really knew was that it felt incredibly soft, and very hot, her body temperature feeling as though she ran a little warmer here than the rest of her body. The cloth was also damp, wetting the tips of his fingers as he gently explored the area, and she was giving off that musky scent that drove him nuts.

After a few seconds, he decided that it felt as though there were perhaps ruffles, or folds of some sort, or at least that was the only thing he could come up with to explain the slightly uneven texture. All this did was further confuse him, as well as spark his curiosity even brighter. He very much wanted to know what the flesh that he was touching through her pants looked like, and felt like, but he knew that would probably be too much for her, so he didn't bother to ask, even though the desire felt like it was burning him alive.

After a while his fingers drifted over something that apparently was different than the rest of the area he had been touching, because suddenly her body jerked, making him jump.

 **Ren POV**

I tensed as his fingers rose, and when they inevitably bumped up against that little ball of nerves at the top I flinched, despite trying not to. I sucked in a breath so quick I started coughing, which was a little bit awkward, but thankfully I was able to stop choking on myself very quickly.

He paused, "Did I hurt you?"

I panted, coughed once more, and gulped, "…no…" I managed to answer, my voice tight and wobbly. I was also blushing madly from the embarrassment of getting all choked up over my boyfriend touching me there for the first time. How silly was that?

"Look at me." He asked, his voice gentle, and yet firm. It was a polite, tender, sort of demand.

My eyes were closed in embarrassment, but at his request I squinted one eye open and looked up at him, eye contact not really something I was looking for at the moment.

 **Gaara POV**

She cracked one eye open hesitantly, peering at him with a mixture of hazy lust, and perhaps a little nervousness. The way her eye was glazed over with passion abruptly made Gaara's gut clench with need, and suddenly he had the strong urge to see just how far he could push her, wanting to see how much more glazed over he could make her eyes.

Judging from her response he quickly determined that there was something that he had just touched that gave her a great deal of pleasure, and so he set about trying to figure out exactly what and where it was, wanting very much to figure out how to make her feel good.

Frankly it all felt the same, and he was forced to explore with a little more pressure, being very careful and gentle as he did so, having already figured out rather quickly that whatever he was dealing with was very sensitive. He had to work with the damp fabric, gently working his fingertips into what definitely seemed to be folds of some sort, which almost seemed to part under his fingers under the insistent pressure. From the little he could feel, it seemed as though these folds of flesh, whatever they were, appeared to converge and come together around the area that he had touched to make her jump.

After some very patient searching on his part, he discovered some sort of very small, very difficult to feel bump of some kind, very nearly hidden among all the softness and almost disguised under the fabric of her pants. When he touched it she flinched again, and he tested it by running his fingers over it a few times, noting the way her body jerked every time, and he figured that whatever this nearly unnoticeable thing was, was definitely creating the intense reactions in Ren.

 **Ren POV**

After asking me to look at him, he had stared down at me, his eyes searching my one cracked eye. And then his eyes narrowed in contemplation and his fingers shifted, rolling across that little bundle of nerves at the top of my sex. His fingers rolling over it had me flinching again and my eye shut tight, my neck arched, and I gripped the covers next to me. Gaara's curiosity was going to kill me one of these days.

It felt fantastic, much too fantastic.

"Hm," I heard his typical Gaara noise come from beside me. And then his fingers very lightly started exploring, in detail, that area, discovering how all the folds came together at the top, and how they covered that bump, and quickly figured out that it was that spot that was making me jerk so violently.

"Is it this?" He asked softly, his fingers pressing right into that bundle of nerves, and I squeaked. When I didn't respond, he slid one finger back and forth across it lightly, testing my reaction. I gasped and tensed, my fingers gripping the covers tightly. "What is this?" He murmured, sounding fascinated.

I wasn't aware that he was actually asking a question, until his other hand, the one behind my head, gripped a little more firmly and turned my face towards him. "What is it?" He repeated, his face coming closer to mine, that curiosity of his coming out to play.

I wasn't really in any state to talk at the moment, but I did my best. "…not really sure…" I gasped, a low whine coming out of my throat along with the words as his fingers twirled around that spot. "I mean I don't know the name for it…" I managed to finish, the words coming out on a groan. I really wished he would stop trying to get me to talk, my higher brain functions required for communication weren't working properly at the moment.

"I see." He murmured. "Is this the spot that makes you finish? It seems quite pleasurable."

I shuddered as he gently rubbed back and forth, up and down, side to side, and around the bump, perhaps trying to figure out the best way to manipulate it. I didn't even hear his question, and he had to repeat himself again, squeezing the back of my neck and getting his mouth right on my ear as he whispered, "Is this where I need to touch you to make you cum?"

I gasped at his words, which had sent a bolt of unexpected heat through me. Who knew that the right words, spoken at the right moment, in the right way, could make you feel this way. I whimpered, biting my lip, unable to answer the question for two reasons. One, I was simply too out of it with the way he was touching me. Two, it was much too embarrassing. He really needed to just give up on the talking thing for now.

"Hm." He huffed in my ear, his fingers still working, switching up speeds and rhythms and directions, making me jerk and twitch spastically from time to time. "We need to work on your communication skills." He murmured, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear.

I gasped, realized what he had said, and huffed a breathless, choked laugh. "That's funny coming from…" I broke off on a groan as he discovered a particularly pleasurable method, his finger working in a circle, with just the right pressure and speed.

I could feel his lips smiling, "I'm going to assume the answer is yes, based on your body's reaction." He murmured.

His head went back up and I could feel him watching me intently, which only made my eyes screw shut even more tightly in embarrassment. "Open your eyes." He demanded in that bossy way of his. "Look at me."

I groaned and very gingerly did what he asked, but the eye contact was very difficult for me to hold, and my eyelids fluttered. He watched me as his fingers moved this way and that, his eyes sharp and intent as he judged my reactions. What was it with him and wanting eye contact?

 **Gaara POV**

Once he had found that spot, he had asked for clarification. Several times. And didn't receive much in the way of a verbal response, aside from her making a rather adorable squeak at one point, and some very broken speech that had devolved into a whine as he twirled his fingers around the little bump, which was a response that he thoroughly enjoyed. Eventually though she finally managed to say that she didn't know the name of it.

Well that was fine, but what he really wanted to know was whether it was the spot that would make her orgasm. So he asked her, twice, and naturally didn't receive a response. Again. He finally decided that he wasn't going to get an answer from her, at least not a verbal one, so he set out to make her body talk for her, his fingers working on figuring out just the right way to touch her there. Everything seemed to feel good for her, judging by the way her body arched into his hand.

After moment he couldn't resist taking the opportunity to tease her by saying, "We need to work on your communication skills," to which she seemed to choke on a laugh and scoffed at him. He gained immense pleasure from forcing her to cut off mid-sentence on a moan as he did something different with his fingers that made her body tense and buck.

Eventually he simply decided that the answer to his previous question had to be yes, based on the way her body was responding to him, and told her his assumption, figuring that she may correct him if he was wrong, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't wrong about it.

After a moment, he found that he really wanted to be able to look into her eyes again, hungering to see whether the lust that had glazed them over from before had increased at all. And so he asked her to open her eyes and look at him, which she did hesitantly. He was rewarded with the vision of her purple eyes that had now darkened almost to a midnight purple, very nearly black, with arousal. His own arousal surged within his body, and he quickly discovered that he had a passion for looking into her eyes, to more clearly see her reactions as he touched her like this.

 **Ren POV**

I hissed and then groaned as he found a good rhythm, speed, pressure, angle, and movement over that bud of nerves, my eyelids closing as my hips arched into his hand. It was embarrassing how my body reacted to him. I flushed, and even my chest felt warm.

Once again, he said, "Look at me Ren." His voice deeper and rougher than before, obviously affected by our activities.

I hissed, a zip of irritation going through me at his persistence, and slit my eyes at him, barely able to keep them open from the pleasure swirling through me. All I could really focus on was his fingers on that spot, and that was my whole world at the moment. He obviously took note of my body's reactions, because he stuck with that rhythm, and soon I felt the tension building in my lower stomach, dangerously fast.

Then, suddenly a surge of panic went through me, when I realized I was about to orgasm. My legs snapped closed, and I tensed, my eyes opening wider, and I gasped. "I don't think I can…"

Gaara leant down and kissed me, his leg that was still hooked over mine pulling and forcing my legs apart again as his fingers seamlessly resumed that rhythm. I gasped against his lips, whining loudly, my hips bucking up into his hand and my thighs trembling as I felt my peak getting closer and closer. I desperately fought against it, and at the same time I eagerly yearned for it. I was torn, part of me afraid and embarrassed and vulnerable, and another part of me eager, and willing, and so ready for it that I felt like I would die if I didn't get there soon.

The tension running through my body increased impossibly, and I found myself on the edge, teetering there, held in place by those stupid fears that just wouldn't quite let me relax enough to let it happen. His lips left mine and I tossed my head to the side, or at least I tried to, but his hand kept my face turned towards him.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was entranced, watching her as her passion slowly mounted, ramping up his own arousal. He quickly could tell that watching her reactions could very easily become addictive, and knew good and well that he would never get tired of this, of watching her body react so intensely and honestly to his touch. Actually giving Ren pleasure through his touch was unsurprisingly a very intense and wonderful experience for Gaara, considering the fact that for the majority of his life, his touch had been feared and mostly brought about pain and death.

He had wanted to touch her in this way for so long that actually doing it very nearly made him giddy. He gained impossible levels of satisfaction and arousal from watching her body writhe with pleasure and knowing that it was his doing. And he began to yearn to see her finish, knowing that at least for him it was the ultimate level of pleasure, and very much wanting her to experience it, and have it be him that gave her that pleasure.

Her eyes shut as her body arched, her hips moving in a way that made his dick bounce against his stomach in a salutary manner, distracting him slightly. He easily ignored it, so used to ignoring it, that by now it was almost second nature for him, and he found Ren to be much more fascinating than his own body's needs for the time being.

Her eyes were closed tightly now, and for a while he enjoyed watching the way her face tightened, her eyes scrunching and her teeth biting into her lip as she rode the waves of pleasure. But then he wanted to once again see those amethyst eyes of hers, wanted the intimacy from eye contact as he pleasured her, wanted her to be able to see how much he enjoyed this. And so he asked her to look at him again.

She hissed and slit her eyes, seeming to have a hard time keeping them open, her lashes fluttering and her eyes seeming very unfocused. He could tell she was starting to get close, noting the signs that were similar to the way his own body began that last climb, the way all her muscles began to tense, her hips thrusting more insistently into his hand, a flush spreading down her neck, her breath coming faster, the tiny sounds that she made, and the way her legs were trembling.

And then to his surprise her entire body seemed to freeze up, but not in the way he had really expected. A different kind of tension seemed to strike her, and her eyes popped open. He could see the panic in her eyes, and wasn't surprised by the way her legs immediately tried to shut, clamping over his hand and greatly restricting his movement. She whispered, "I don't think I can…" her voice small and panicky.

Well, she had warned him that she might need some pushing, and he was very eager to push right now. He probably should stop, but he was much too aroused to really even consider it, and so he gripped her leg more tightly with his own and pulled, forcing her legs open and resuming what he had been doing with his fingers.

Then he dipped his head, touching his lips to hers and kissing her, attempting to sooth her with the familiar action, and to show her that he was there for her, trying to express through his kiss how much he loved her and wanted to give her pleasure.

 **Ren POV**

It was impossible, this pressure inside of me building and just staying at that intense high for too long. I could feel my breath getting ragged, feeling way too hot, my body flushed all the way down to my breasts, my legs shaking and almost cramping now.

I gasped, and then choked out Gaara's name. It sounded like I was begging for something, although for what I wasn't exactly sure. "I can't…" I whined, feeling stuck.

His lips brushed against my temple. "Yes you can." He murmured softly.

"It's too much…" I very nearly sobbed, and found that I was getting dangerously close to just putting an end to the whole thing. I knew I had that option, even despite Gaara's seeming insistence, I knew that if I actually told him to stop, he would in a heartbeat.

"You're okay." He hushed me, his voice rough and yet very gentle at the same time, soothing my frazzled nerves somewhat.

Very softly I admitted, "I'm afraid," the words surprisingly difficult to say. I shuddered as I teetered on that edge, feeling like my entire body was on fire, yet held there by anxiety, afraid of going off that ledge and being that vulnerable in front of Gaara. And it sucked. Big time.

He looked down at me, his eyes worried, and after a long moment he paused his finger's movement, and asked very softly, "Do you want to stop?"

I lay there, my breath sawing in and out of my lungs, and abruptly realized that no, I didn't want to stop. In fact that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. Yet I didn't know how to continue. I really just wanted to not be afraid already so that I could reach that seemingly impossible height, because this was going to drive me insane.

"…no…" I managed to gasp out, moaning as his fingers immediately resumed their movement, my body jerking as the pause and restart almost made everything feel better.

After a minute, in which my body immediately went back to that place of teetering right there on the edge, and yet held back by my mind, I whimpered and then groaned in aggravation, gritting through my teeth, "…but, I don't…I don't know how to…" I was thoroughly frustrated, terrified, aroused, and fucking confused. I was so beyond being embarrassed about any of this, I just wanted to get where my body wanted to go.

 **Gaara POV**

Her body was impossibly tense next to his, her temperature rising, and the flush crept down her neck and onto her chest. It seemed as though she was right on the edge, but just couldn't reach the peak. Even as his own arousal rose with hers, and he began to feel as though he had a fever, he also began to hurt for her, knowing that she was struggling.

When she choked on his name, the sound of his name spoken in such an aroused way made his dick jump to attention, distracting him again. Even so, he could also hear the struggle in her voice, and that only became more apparent as she nearly sobbed out, "I can't," on a whine.

He soothed her to the best of his abilities, assuring her that yes she could, but knowing that it wasn't enough, not nearly enough. A notion that was confirmed a second layer when she gasped another desperate plea, one that he had likewise tried to sooth by telling her she was okay.

After a moment she said, in a very small voice, "I'm afraid."

This time it wasn't his dick that distracted him, it was his heart as it squeezed painfully in his chest. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling like his lungs had been kicked, his heart hurting from knowing that she was afraid from something that should be bringing them both happiness and not fear. And yet his heart also felt like it might burst, knowing that she wasn't the type of person to say something like that lightly. He felt truly touched that she trusted him enough to make herself that vulnerable with him.

He searched her eyes, knowing she wasn't paying attention to him, and wondered if he should stop. Yet somehow, that just didn't feel right. Even so, he paused the movement of his fingers and gave her the option to stop. She seemed to struggle for a moment, and then very softly responded in the negative, and so he started back up with his fingers again, not wanting her to lose any momentum. Her body jerked and he was fascinated by how surprised she seemed, almost as if the short pause had intensified the sensations for her. He filed the knowledge away to test at a later date.

After a moment in which she seemed to get right back to nearly reaching her peak, she whined and groaned, gritting something out between her teeth. The words she spoke were nearly unintelligible, and yet he immediately knew what she meant. She didn't know how to break through whatever it was that was holding her back. He couldn't even imagine how that must feel, to be held at that level of need and be held back by what was obviously fear of some sort.

And he desperately wanted to be able to give her pleasure, to experience it with her as she reached her peak, feeling the physical and emotional need for that intimacy. He knew he had to do something to help her, and yet he didn't know how to. All he knew was that she was experiencing some sort of… _something_ …emotional trauma of some sort, and he knew that he wanted to help her through it, be there with her, and experience it with her as she broke through. To do that he knew he had to somehow help her to not be afraid, to have her trust him enough to be her strength and let him hold her while she was at her most vulnerable.

He knew she was afraid of the vulnerability and intimacy of orgasming in front of him, but he knew that if they could just get over this speedbump, that things would be better for her. And so he said the only thing he could think of, simply expressing his feelings as best he could, asking her to look at him once again, willing her to see the love and sincerity in his gaze.

 **Ren POV**

"Look at me," Gaara whispered, and I only was just barely able to peel my scrunched eyes open enough to meet his eyes. "Trust me. I'll be right here, and I'll hold you through the whole thing. Please, let me...experience this with you." He whispered, his eyes so achingly tender, so much love visible, that it broke through whatever roadblock was going on in my head to prevent me from taking the leap. I gasped, blinking, my eyes wide and staring into his sincere gaze.

And through it all, somehow he maintained that rhythm with his fingers that had slowly been driving me into the deep end for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes.

There was a single shining second, one single moment where I felt unafraid, joyful even, at peace, and then then my eyes rolled back into my head as the tension finally broke, and the sensations that already felt impossibly good suddenly overwhelmed me as everything abruptly got so much better. My hips bucked up into his hand as the sensations peaked, and my leg that wasn't currently held prisoner by his, fell open to give him more access, which just seemed to make everything feel impossibly better. The cresting orgasm shook me with its intensity and I gasped his name, several times, and then a loud whine escaped my throat, and I cried out, my body convulsing. I felt his hold tighten around me, and he tucked me more firmly into the curve of his body as I shook.

My legs clamped shut on Gaara's hand, and he gentled, switching to the palm of his hand for a less localized touch. My hips ground helplessly against the pressure, which felt really good and helped to prolong the orgasm. Several of my muscles cramped a little, from being so tense for so long, and then from the sudden contractions. I shifted, pulling one of my legs up as my hip cramped, and then shoving it back down as my thigh cramped, my heel digging into the bed to try and ground me. It seemed to last forever, all that pent up tension taking a while to expend. And then I collapsed, my body finally relaxing as I let my muscles going limp. I panted, feeling utterly spent, my mind buzzing and numb.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara lay beside her, his eyes wide as he watched her lying next to and underneath him, panting and looking utterly spent. He was unable to prevent his mind from rerunning what had just happened. Several times. In glorious detail.

He had watched, his eyes wide with wonder as she reached her peak, feeling aroused beyond belief as well as experiencing a surge of emotions, half of which he couldn't even name. He had been so incredibly happy and relieved, and so full of love that he felt like he would pop. She had gasped his name in a litany of whispers, and his eyes had widened feeling a surge of impossible lust shoot through his body, once again finding his name on her lips to be one of the most arousing things he had ever experienced, even more so when that it was spoken during her orgasm.

Her body had convulsed and he had held her more tightly, his leg locking over hers, his hand holding her head, and her legs closed on his other hand between her thighs. He had immediately gentled his touch, knowing for himself that when he reached his own peak he couldn't handle as much stimulation as before and figured it was the same for her. So he had flattened his palm against her and let her grind against his hand. He was glad that he had, because with his hand flat against her entire sex like that he had been able to feel the strange pulses that seemed to happen rhythmically from that place between her legs, once again making him even more curious.

He had immediately known that this was something he wanted to do as much as he possibly could, immediately addicted. The surge of arousal from watching her body writhe in pleasure, the surge of love and warm tender feelings from the intimacy of the experience, and the surge of satisfaction and almost smugness at knowing that he was the one that had pleasured her to this point, he had found the whole experience to be utterly intoxicating.

After an amazing minute or two her body had slowly seemed to quiet, her muscles going slack as her body relaxed onto the bed next to him. And now she was panting, flushed, a little sweaty, and so beautiful he felt like he might die, as he watched her. A small smile curled the edges of her lips.

* * *

 **This lemon is over…mostly. But it's still kinda explicit, and there are more lemons coming up.**

 **Chapter 50**

* * *

 **Ren POV**

I lay there, supine and utterly limp, almost dozing off for a second as I basked in the afterglow. That had been amazing. Utterly fucking fantastic. Even with the weird panicky nonsense, it had been completely worth it. I just felt so…free somehow. It was as if some burden had been lifted. Even though I knew I would probably continue to have issues with intimacy and vulnerability, I knew that it wouldn't be nearly that bad ever again. It was as if one of the many knots in the clusterfuck of nonsense clogging up my brain had been untied, and I felt that much better.

After a moment of basking, I realized something kind of important. Gaara was still…happy, and it was pressing against my hip rather insistently.

I blearily opened my eyes and looked up, meeting his gaze, and was immediately distracted by the way he was looking at me, his eyes so soft and tender that I felt a blush pop back into being from my cooling cheeks. His lips quirked, and I knew he had noticed.

"What?" I asked, wondering why he was staring like that.

"Thank you." He whispered, sounding awed.

"For what?" I asked, feeling flustered and confused.

"For trusting me enough to let me make you feel good." He answered, his voice soft and melodic.

I gasped, a pulse inside surprising me with its late arrival. He blinked, his eyes widening slightly, and I felt his resting palm twitch from where it was still simply lying against me between my legs. I flushed a little pinker from the knowledge that he had felt it. He saw the blush and was nice enough to move his hand to my abdomen instead, apparently feeling like he had embarrassed me enough for one day.

I was finding out very quickly that he had this amazing ability to turn me on with his words, without even seeming to try. I had a sneaking suspicion that that ability of his might cause me problems later on.

After a moment to collect my scattered thoughts and let the blush die back down, I chuckled softly. "I think I should be the one saying thank you."

He smiled, a small smile, but still a facial expression that surprised me with its beauty. I reached up and rested my hand against his cheek, lightly tracing the curved up edge of his lips with my thumb as I responded with my own smile. "I love your smile by the way. It's so rare, so every time I see it, it surprises me how beautiful it is." I murmured, reaching up to give his smiling lips a little kiss.

When I pulled away I took in his surprised expression, his eyes a little wide, his mouth opened, and a blush brightening his cheeks. I laughed a little, poking his cheek gently. "You're blushing." I pointed out teasingly.

The said blush deepened a little and he pursed his lips. After a moment he asked, "You like it when I smile?"

I nodded, watching as he blinked, absorbing the information. And then he did his typical, "…hm." sound and I laughed. "I love you Gaara. You're so predictable."

His normally pale eyes grew substantially darker as they dilated again, and once again I was taken by surprise at the rare view of his pupils.

"I love you too." He whispered, his voice hoarse, and I realized the reason for his eyes growing so dark. It was only the second time I had said those words to him after all.

I sighed contentedly and turned my body more into his, which put our upper bodies into contact. That abruptly brought to my attention to the fact that both our upper bodies were naked, and suddenly I realized that we had never really embraced this way before, skin to skin, and the contact took my breath away. I mean, even when we had been kissing before there had been some space between us. Until now, and the sensation of my naked chest against his was startling. I sucked in a deep breath, my eyes staring wide-eyed up into his equally wide eyes.

He rolled us over, bringing me on top of him, our legs tangling. The skin to skin contact was rather…intense at first, and as always, I was amazed by the crazy feverish heat Gaara's body always seemed to produce. After a tense moment, while we both acclimated to the new sensation, I relaxed, my body sinking into his as I allowed myself to mold to his hard planes. Speaking of hard…I was immediately reminded that he was still very much so, his dick being a rather uncomfortable speed bump poking me in my stomach.

I blinked down at him. "Um, Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"Isn't that uncomfortable?" I inquired, finding myself curious about how he had managed to spend so much time on me, when he was obviously as aroused as I had been.

"What?"

I gave him a look and rolled my stomach over the said body part, making his whole body stiffen beneath me as his eyes closed and he gritted his teeth.

"That." I said a little smugly. I was shocked by how comfortable I was with him now, how doing that hadn't made me blush.

One of his eyes slitted open and he very nearly glared from it. "Yes," he growled, his voice deep and rumbly, which I could clearly feel in my own chest.

I smirked, and then realized I had put myself in a very compromising position. I had just drawn attention to the fact that he was still very aroused, and had made that point very clear, but now what was I supposed to do?

I flushed, "Oops. Sorry about that, guess I got a little carried away there." He gave me that look of his, the little crease above the one non-brow that told me it was raised, one eye a little cocked, his mouth pulled just a tad to one side, all of it saying ' _really_?'

"…hm." He hummed in his typical Gaara way, rolling his eyes a little. And then he snorted a little, his body relaxing again beneath me as his face mellowed out, seeming to just enjoy being with me.

Meanwhile, I thought about what I should do with the saluting body part that was currently making my stomach very uncomfortable. As I pondered, I chewed on my lip, and then looked down at his chest, which was a very nice chest, so I got a little distracted. "You don't really have any body hair do you?" I inquired, noting that the pale skin of his chest was smooth, aside from that star shaped scar on the right side, but it was hairless.

I glanced up to see the bemused expression on his face, his head slightly cocked to one side as he observed me. "I do. But not on my chest." He said, his voice that interesting melodic tone that I was coming to recognize meant that he was particularly happy. There was also a slightly teasing quality to it.

A small smile twitched my lips and a little jolt of playfulness ran through me. "Is it as red as the hair on your head?" I quirked an eyebrow and smiled down at him playfully.

A tiny grin popped up in the corner of his mouth as his eyes widened a little in surprise and then narrowed in amusement. "Curious little thing aren't you? Why don't you find out for yourself?"

My mouth dropped open in shock at the issued challenge and then I glowered playfully at him, put out, amused, and intrigued by it. I sat up, now straddling him, put my hands on my hips, cocked my head to the side and said, "Really? Are you serious?"

His lips curled into a smirk and his hands tucked behind his head in a deceptively relaxed position. I ignored the fact that the short fuzzy hair under his armpits was obviously very red, because now I had permission to launch a full scale investigation and I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity.

I adopted a fake serious expression and scooted down a little so I was straddling his upper thighs and leaned over putting my face closer to his stomach to see if I could detect any hairs there. "Ah ha!" I exclaimed, poking him lightly beneath his belly button, "You do have hair here!" Which he did. He had a line of red peach fuzz that was nearly invisible unless you got practically right up on top of it.

He snorted, obviously amused by my reaction. I rolled my eyes up to look at him. "What? It's a discovery after all." I protested.

His smirk widened, thoroughly enjoying himself. I just huffed and rolled my eyes, sitting back up and looking down at his lower stomach. The line of peach fuzz that started under his navel continued for an inch or so and then the hairs began to slowly lengthen and thicken into a happy trail the further down you went. By the time my eyes reached the top of his pants he had a nice red fuzz going on, relatively sparse but definitely there. It was nice actually, he wasn't a hairy beast of a man. I enjoyed his little happy trail immensely now that I had actually bothered to pay attention to it.

Thoroughly curious now, I reached forward and lightly tucked the tips of my fingers under his waistband, noting the way he sucked in his breath, and very carefully tugged his pants down a smidge. I wanted to see a little more of that red fuzz, but I had to be careful, because there was an obstacle in the form of his dick. I wasn't entirely sure that I was ready to see that yet, and from what I could tell, based on the very obvious bulge in his pants that I was resolutely attempting not to look directly at, for fear of bursting into a blush that wouldn't go away for a couple of hours, his erection ended around his pants-line, or rather it hadn't been able to push out of his pants line. It seemed that it was at something of an angle, flat against his belly and pointing up at his belly button, but off to the side since his pants had gotten in the way of its progress.

That was all information I took in from my peripheral vision. So I had to be careful about how I tugged on his pants, not wanting to release the beast quite yet. I inched them down very slowly, by teeny tiny increments and didn't lift the material up at all so that hopefully he would sort of shift off to the side more instead of popping out. It took a little finagling, during which Gaara made various soft sounds that thoroughly peeked my interest, but finally I had a good inch or two more of that red fuzz. I found that it drastically increased the further down I went, which I had been expecting but found surprisingly delightful once I found it out for sure.

I grinned. "Very, very red. Just as I expected." I noted aloud, and then reached out with my other hand and dug my fingers gently into the fluff, very lightly giving a little tug, "Not as soft as the hair on your head though." I commented on the slightly course texture of this hair.

As soon as my fingers touched him he made an odd sort of deep whine in the back of his throat that had me standing at attention and his stomach flexed in a very fascinating way. Given where I was touching I could feel the lowest point of his abdomen, the muscle right in front of his pubic bone, tense up underneath my fingers. My gaze slid up the V of muscle from the fluff of bright red pubic hair that I had discovered. The muscles were tight in between his hipbones from his stomach doing that weird flexy thing. Flexed like this, his belly almost looked like it had eight ridges of muscle instead of six, but I supposed that was because of the way the bottom one was tense, probably because of my proximity to a certain something.

I decided I had probably tortured my poor boyfriend enough for one day and allowed his pants to slide back up, hearing his relatively loud exhale as I move my fingers away from what had to be a nearly painful erection by now.

I glanced up at his tense face, his eyes narrowed into glittering slits as he observed me, his jaw tight, and his arms tight from probably forcibly having to keep them behind his head like that. I would suspect that he had been tempted to grab me and interrupt my exploration, but he had been nice enough to allow me my fun. And now I felt a little sorry for his predicament.

He looked like he had finally reached the end of his, surprisingly long, rope and seriously needed me to stop touching him like this, or needed to go and take care of himself in the bathroom, or…well…I suppose I could do something about it…maybe.

* * *

 **Warning: Explicit Lemons ahead. Obviously.**

* * *

Maybe I could touch him over his pants, like he had done for me. _Would that even work on a guy?_ I wondered, my gaze hesitantly touching on the elongated ridge that indicated where it was. And yes, I blushed, as I knew I would, but at this point I figured I could endure the pink heat in my face, knowing that his discomfort had to be much greater than mine right now. Even if it was a completely different kind of discomfort. My eyes widened and I twitched slightly when I saw the bulge move a teensy bit under the fabric, almost as if it had hopped or something. I didn't know they could do that. I licked my lips and swallowed thickly, the prospect daunting and yet so tempting that I felt really torn.

"If you keep looking at me like that we may have a problem." He drawled, his deepened voice startling me.

I flushed bright red as my eyes shot up from his crotch to meet his eyes, which were heavy lidded and looked…sinful. My breath suddenly didn't want to happen, because I felt like my lungs had seized up. Oh shit, I was in such deep trouble. I had no idea Gaara had the ability to simply give me a look and turn me into jello right there on the spot. Well, I had an idea, but I had never experienced it quite so strongly before.

 _Why does he have to be so goddam sexy anyway?_

Well, that sealed the deal, there was no way for me to really do anything else now that I had seen the lust on his face, my desire to touch him going through the roof so suddenly it kickstarted my idling lungs and I gasped. The sudden deep breath made me aware that his scent had exponentially grown stronger and had that musky tone to it that meant he was thoroughly aroused, and naturally that ramped me up even higher. I had been a little too busy earlier to appreciate it fully, but I was sure as heck making up for lost time now, eagerly taking in a subtle deep breath as I tasted the air.

My eyes went back to his hip level for a second and then back to his eyes, taking in another deep breath. "Um…can I…touch you? The way you touched me?" I blushed a little and bit my lip again, feeling kind of silly, a little awkward, sort of shy, and a whole lot of aroused curiosity and desire.

 **Gaara POV**

He found the way she was looking at his dick to be something of a problem, because it made him very, very aroused. To the point that he began to have a really hard time controlling himself, and his self-control hadn't been great for the past few minutes anyways. His lust drove his mind into the gutter where it stubbornly stuck. He began to have quite a few thoughts involving Ren, and his dick, in conjunction, and that heat started to make his mind dangerously fuzzy. If she didn't stop looking at his groin quite so intensely, he wasn't going to be responsible for his own actions.

And so he warned her, his voice coming out a little more aggressively than he would have liked. Naturally she got embarrassed, and he thoroughly expected that to be that, for her to hop off of him and get all shy like she usually did. So he certainly didn't expect her to go and offer to touch him, the way he had touched her, which suggested that she wanted to make him cum. And that thought made everything in his mind stop so fast that he got a little bit dizzy.

Gaara suddenly found himself utterly aroused, more so than he had ever been in his entire life perhaps, aside from just a little while ago, and thoroughly shocked as well from Ren's proposition. He supposed he shouldn't be quite so shocked, after all she was his girlfriend and obviously enjoyed these sorts of activities with him. But it was such a deeply ingrained knowledge in his mind, that people simply didn't want to touch him, or be touched by him, and so her question sent him for a loop.

He found himself stuttering, which was a very unusual occurrence for him, so he wasn't entirely sure how to handle it. He really, really wanted what she was offering, but he just had to make absolute sure that she was offering out of a desire to do it, and not simply because of some sense of obligation.

He did his best to express his concerns, and his…insecurities, which was surprisingly difficult. And yet he quickly found that Ren had the uncanny ability to pick up on what he was trying to say, and understand it perfectly, as her face softened and she gave him such a tender look that he was momentarily distracted from the arousal by the way his heart filled, feeling like it was going to pop in his chest from the sudden expansion of warm fuzzy emotions. And he became utterly convinced that she very much wanted to do what she was offering, given the way her eyes were glittering and the way she stroked her hand down his stomach as she assured him that she loved touching him this way.

That abruptly reminded him exactly what it was they were discussing, and his dick got really fucking impatient all of a sudden, throbbing insistently and making him force back a growl. Even his balls were getting sore, and that was something he wasn't sure had ever really happened before. If something didn't happen soon, he was beginning to suspect that he might go just a little insane. Again.

 **Ren ROV**

As soon as I offered to touch him, I watched as his eyes went from heavy lidded to wide open in half a second, his mouth parting along with his eyelids as his breath sucked in in shock. I guess he hadn't expected that. He was just too cute. What a strange man, from sexy to cute, faster than I could blink. Actually, I found his bewilderment both adorable and hot at the same time. It was one of the few times I had seen him look so…well…innocent, complete with the blush that now tinted his cheeks. It was amazing that he found it surprising that I wanted to touch him.

He cleared his throat and then licked his lips before saying, "You…you want to…" and then he stopped, seeming unable to continue.

"If it's okay with you…then…yeah." I said softly, my eyes flicking back and forth between his crotch and eyes again.

He sucked in a deep breath and then released it on a slow exhale. His eyes glanced off to the side for a moment and then came back to meet my eyes, and then they glanced down at the body part in question, and then back up to my eyes. He looked like he was perhaps a little unsure about this.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

"Nothing. I just…I'm surprised that you want to…touch me like that." He managed a little awkwardly, his voice rough.

"Why? You wanted to touch me like that, so why is it surprising that I want the same sort of thing?" I inquired.

He blinked. "True. I'm just not used to anyone wanting to touch me at all, much less there."

I blinked back at him, feeling my eyes soften, realizing that most people had been too afraid of him for most of his life to ever want to be in the same room with him, much less touch him. Even now, I had noticed that his siblings sometimes hesitated before touching him, and they didn't really touch him a lot to begin with, although certainly more than they would have in the past. No wonder he was so startled, it was simply a fact of life for him.

" _I_ touch you all the time though." I smiled, and his eyes flared and then softened a little. I reached out and placed my hand on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat.

"Yes." He murmured, "You do."

"I love being able to touch you like this." I said, almost absentmindedly as I slid my hand down his chest and to his stomach, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of his muscles tensing under my hand.

He sucked his breath in. "Do you now?" He choked, his voice tense as my hand slid lower and lower over his stomach.

"Yes. Very much." I paused, low on his stomach, right above his pants, and glanced up meeting his thoroughly aroused and somewhat nervous eyes. "You have no idea."

His expression grew a little sardonic. "I have a pretty good idea." He rumbled, his eyes sliding leisurely down my body, which was still half naked, and his gaze darkened substantially.

I flushed. "Oh. Right." I chuckled a little awkwardly, fighting the urge to cover my breasts, what with the way he was eyeing them now.

I cleared my throat and slid my hand over the edge of his pants, venturing onto the black fabric, but staying just to the side of his dick. I left it there for a second as I asked, "So, is it okay for me to touch you here?"

He drew in a shaky breath and then nodded, saying "…yes…" rather softly.

I swallowed thickly, and noted that he did the same, and then I picked my hand up and moved it over an inch, hovering above the rather intimidating lump in his pants for a second and then lightly made contact. His whole body twitched just a little and he sucked in a quick, quiet breath. My eyes glanced up for a second, and his eyes met mine.

 **Gaara POV**

The eye contact was…intense. With her hand where it was, touching him there for the first time, he felt just a little out of control, though he firmly reined himself in, not wanting to frighten her. While his body insisted that he speed things along, in any way possible, he also wanted her to be able to have the luxury to explore his body, the way he had explored hers.

He actually suspected that he was going to enjoy this going slow thing immensely, because it simply meant that more time would be spent with Ren, in a sexual way, and he was quickly finding that the more time spent doing these sorts of things, the better.

He held her gaze for a long moment, and then almost cussed as she shifted, her hand moving over him. The shock of pleasure was…dizzying in its intensity, and he very quickly had to lock his muscles in place to keep himself from moving in such a way that he suspected might actually buck her off of him. And that was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment, because having her on top of him, and touching him, was something that he was quickly finding to be one of his favorite things in the world. Right alongside everything else they had done in bed.

 **Ren POV**

After a moment I moved my hand, gently feeling down to the base, where it seemed like it connected to his body. It twitched under my hand, almost seeming to throb in a very unexpected way, and I flinched, surprised and my eyes flew down to it.

"What the…?" I murmured, not expecting it to be able to move like that.

A slightly choked off chuckle came from Gaara. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." He rasped.

I glanced back up to him and then back down. I began to move my hand back up and then continued on to when it seemed to end, pressing down a little on the head with the tips of my fingers to try and figure out exactly where it ended. He hissed and jerked, and I felt his dick pulse again under my hand. I blinked, surprised yet again.

"Does it do that randomly?" I questioned, wondering if it was similar to the way my own sex squeezed randomly when I was aroused, or when something felt particularly good.

He hummed. And then after a second he said, "I can control it, but mostly yes, it just happens when something feels good."

"You can control it?" I asked, surprised and glanced up at him.

He gave me a look and then rolled his eyes and sighed, "And you say I'm curious…" before I felt his dick pulsing under my hand rhythmically, obviously intended this time. My jaw dropped and I very nearly yanked my hand back in shock, but kept touching him. He did that for a good little while, proving that he could and shocking the hell out of me. Strangely though, I found it pretty damn impressive, since I had no idea that was even possible. And then of course my mind started to wander down paths, like _I wonder how it would feel for him to do that when we…whoa, not ready to go there yet_. I blinked and shook my head, glancing back up at him.

He had an amused look on his face now, his lips quirked up and his eyes glittering with mirth as he took in what was probably a pretty dumbfounded expression on my face.

And then he stopped, and I sucked in a breath. "Well…okay then." I said shakily. He responded with a chuckle.

I continued, now that I had mapped out the territory so to speak. I tightened my grip a little and applied more pressure, trying to feel him a little better, which was tough since the material of his pants was considerable stiffer than my stretchy pants that I liked. As soon as I tightened my grip he sucked in a breath and his muscles stiffened as his hips arched into my touch a little.

 _Okay, so he likes more pressure. Good to know._

It was tough getting a good grip on him though, because I couldn't curl my hand around very much at all, so I quickly gave up on that and used the heel of my palm instead to apply pressure downwards, which seemed to work okay judging by the way Gaara's body responded. He gasped and then groaned, his hips bucking. _Oh hell. Okay yeah, that's really fucking sexy._ I resisted the urge to respond to his groan with one of my own, finding the sound to be something amazing. I already found his gravely, raspy, deep voice super sexy, and his aroused groan was even better.

I glanced up to his face and took in the way a flush had worked over his cheeks, and the way he panted through his slightly parted lips, and the way his eyes glittered down at me. I was actually a little surprised that his eyes were even open, since mine had seemed incapable of that. But then again, he had been the one insisting on eye contact, so apparently that was a thing for him. I attempted to hold his gaze, finding it surprisingly difficult, even in this situation. Maybe it was just that his stare was so intense that it felt like it burned. Eventually my eyes dropped back down to his body to help me figure out what felt best by noting all the little twitches in his muscles.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara had been utterly bemused at first by the situation, unsure how to really react to Ren's first hesitant touches, aside from liking them a lot. And of course he had been thoroughly amused by her reaction to the way he could move his dick, and had enjoyed making it pulse under her hand so he could see her shock, curiosity, and what appeared to be arousal as well.

Of course then she had gotten serious about trying to make him cum, which at this point wouldn't take a lot to be honest. He found himself digging his heels into the bed as he bucked up into her hand, and moaned helplessly, and he suddenly understood her embarrassment when she had been in this position. He felt a little uncomfortable with the noises coming from his chest as well. However, he quickly dismissed that, much too engrossed with the sensations to pay much attention to his emotional state at the moment.

So he simply allowed his body to do what it wanted, to a certain degree. He had to force himself to lie still and let her touch him, his first urge being to buck up into her hand probably a little too violently, not to mention the urge to simply grab her hips and shift her over his erection so he could grind up into that softness between her thighs. Of course her palm was actually doing a really, really good job, so he wasn't entirely sure he would have shifted her, even if he could.

As she sped up her movements his back arched and he had to forcefully make himself come back down on the bed, not super keen on dislodging or unbalancing Ren at the moment. His head tossed as he grit his teeth, doing his best to stay still for her, and completely wrapped up in the fantastic sensations thrumming through his shaft. He had never though that simply applying pressure like this, the way she was doing with her palm, would be enough to actually make him orgasm, considering he had always gripped it in his fist. But apparently when it was Ren applying the pressure, it was definitely enough, and he fisted his fingers into the sheets underneath his head to keep his hands where they were.

At this point it was safer for him to keep his hands under his head, if they came out, there was the danger that he might grab for Ren, and he didn't want to distract her from what she was doing. That notion quickly became a very real possibility as the pleasure heightened and one of his hands jerked out from under his head. He began to reach for her thigh on that side, without his conscious decision, but as soon as he realized what he was doing he forced his hand to the bed, once again using the blankets beneath him to tether his fist.

He could very quickly feel the tell-tail tremors begin up in his thighs that said he was getting close, and he fought the sensation for a bit, wanting it to last a little longer.

 **Ren POV**

I kept up a firm pressure and started to work my palm, particularly the heel, over his length, sliding it up and then down, paying attention to the way he moved. As a rhythm started to form, his hips began moving in tandem with the way my hand was moving over him, increasing the pressure and grinding against my palm. Actually, the movements of his hips were incredibly sensual to watch, and I realized that I enjoyed watching him more than I ever could have predicted. I found my breathing getting harsher and my pulse pounding in my throat as I felt myself getting more and more aroused as I touched him.

I glanced up at his face again, and this time his head was turned to the side, a little crease between his non-brows, his eyes shut tight, and his jaw clenching and unclenching as his lips parted to gasp or moan and then clamped shut again. It was…intensely hot.

I increased the pressure and the speed a little to see if he would like that, and he definitely did. His lower back arched and then slammed down into the bed as his hips thrust upwards. His head tossed back and forth a couple of times on the pillow, his arms tensing and his elbows coming off the bed next to his head as a deep groan came from his chest. I sucked in a deep breath, finding his reactions unbearably arousing.

I kept up that rhythm, ignoring the way my arm began to get a little tired, knowing that I'd be able to continue for a long time despite the mild discomfort. I was much more interested in watching him and the way his body was now tensing and flexing. One of his hands came out from under his head and abruptly dug into the covers next to his side, his fist tightening in the blanket.

He was panting now, and I could feel tremors going through him, his thighs tensing up underneath me. His whole body shuddered and I could feel his lower belly tensing up from where my other hand was braced on his hip. I leaned forward and increased the speed just a little, thinking that might push him over the edge.

He yelped, his voice barking out a moan as his hips bucked and I nearly lost my balance as his thighs shifted under me. His entire body practically came off the bed, his head arching back and his neck tense, and then he gasped harshly and he slammed back down, his hips bucking jerkily under my hand. A growl started up in his chest, deep and rumbly.

I was so entranced by his body that I had no idea what was going on with his sand, until I felt a coil of it around my ankle. I squeaked and jerked, looking up to see sand everywhere. Literally. Everywhere. I gaped at the coils of sand swirling chaotically through the air and the way it slid across the ground, up the walls, across the ceiling, and curled up anything in the room, including the bed.

It had curled up the bed posts and little coils of it were now venturing into the bed space. And one such coil had found my ankle and was now very gently caressing said appendage as it coiled around it.

"What the…holy fuck." I murmured.

I glanced back up at Gaara, to see him looking sheepish and so fucking aroused he might just burst, his breath coming in big gulps, and his face very flushed.

"Er…sorry. It just does that." He croaked.

"Huh, well, I guess maybe I shouldn't be that surprised." I said, glancing back down at the little hanger on at my foot. "As long as it doesn't molest me we'll be fine."

"I can't make any promises," he moaned as my hand continued up where it left off, although I was tempted to stop after I realized what he had just said. I hoped he hadn't been serious, but I kind of figured he was.

 **Gaara POV**

As he got closer and closer, he had been able to sense the way his sand had gotten more and more active, as usual, and as soon as Ren noticed it he found himself thoroughly embarrassed. She paused, and he swallowed the whine that wanted to escape from his throat. He very gruffly managed to apologize for his sand's misbehavior, and silently urged Ren to continue what she had been doing, feeling like he might go utterly fucking crazy if she didn't.

She said something about it being okay as long as it didn't molest her, and at this point he wasn't entirely sure that wasn't a possibility. He somehow managed to get out a warning, although he wasn't exactly sure what it was he said, since it came out half moan as she started up with the movement of her hand again.

Strangely enough, even though he had absolutely no control over the sand, he could still sort of sense with it, not that he had ever paid much attention to that before, but this time he felt a shock go through him as he realized that he could feel his sand caressing her foot. The sensation was very strange, and oddly arousing, and somehow he was able to at least somewhat control that little bit of his sand, even if the rest of it was totally out of control. Under the rush of lust and physical stimulation he did his very best to keep the sand from going up her leg, and the damn stuff fought him on it.

Ren wasn't exactly making it easy for him to concentrate either, since she decided apparently to speed things up, probably not wanting to give his sand the opportunity to actually do anything inappropriate. A rather loud sound burst out of him, and he couldn't help the way his body moved underneath her now. He just hoped she had good balance and could stay on him. Because at this point, he could feel the final climb of sensation happening, the pleasure mounting in his gut, and he hazily had the thought that if she stopped now he would probably blow a fuse, and he wasn't sure which head that fuse would be in.

 **Ren POV**

After that warning about his sand I decided that I had better finish this off fast. I wasn't sure I was ready for his sand getting frisky with me quite yet, if ever. Although, if we ever actually did get around to having sex, like serious sex, the kind that lasted a while, it might just be inevitable, so perhaps I should get used to the idea. Nevertheless, I increased the pressure and speed and he very nearly yelled, his body twisting underneath me. A jolt of arousal seared my own senses as I was suddenly utterly absorbed by his reactions again. Fuck the sand, it could do whatever it wanted as long as I could watch Gaara. That growl started back up and he jerked, his hips bucking spastically as I rubbed him vigorously.

It didn't take long before his body froze up, all his muscles tensing, and then a second later his breath came out in a long, loud shuddering moan as his hips gyrated, the muscles in his stomach spasming and his thighs flexing beneath me. His musky scent, that had gotten so incredibly strong as I touched him, changed, altered by that salty musky smell that I remembered from before.

I gentled my touch, allowing him to grind into my palm in the same way he had done for me and feeling a dampness growing near the tip that hadn't been there before. After a good minute or two of tenseness and random bucking, his body seemed to relax back into the bed and he lay there panting and flushed.

I swallowed thickly, feeling totally aroused again, having thoroughly enjoyed that experience. I had enjoyed it even more than I thought I would. From the little amount that I had thought about it, I knew it would be fucking fantastic and had been looking forward to touching Gaara and getting to watch him that way, but it was so much better than I could have ever imagined it would be.

* * *

 **End of Lemon**

* * *

I sat there, and blinked at him, cocking my head to the side and watching him for a while as he slowly got his breathing back under control and his flush died down somewhat. I couldn't help but notice that he seemed a little sweaty now too. _Actually come to think of it…hadn't we both been heading to take showers before this whole sex thing popped up?_

I grimaced, really needing a shower now after our activities, and I would bet Gaara felt similarly, judging by the wet spot I could see slowly growing darker by the second. Poor guy.

Not that I was in any better shape. _Ew._ I shifted around, feeling that uncomfortable wetness between my thighs.

Even so, I stuck around for a little while, just sitting there and watching his lazy, satisfied expression. I had never seen this particular brand of relaxed on Gaara, and it definitely suited him. But then after a moment I simply grew too uncomfortable, so I dismounted, causing his eyes to open. He glanced at me, and I nearly fell off the bed, unbalanced as if I had been physically bowled over by his intense bedroom eyes, the turquoise gleaming out brightly from underneath heavy lids.

"Eh, I need to take a shower… 'cause… yeah." I said, in answer to the lazy, unspoken question I could see in those glittering eyes of his. I grimaced as I stuck a thumb under the waistband of my pants and pulled them out a little, to illustrate what I meant, getting a small grin in response.

Then I hopped off the bed, and nearly fell on my butt as I realized that my legs were still unsteady, and had to stagger a few steps to regain my balance. "Whoops. Legs still aren't working right." I grumbled.

I heard a deep chuckle coming from the bed, and it had an almost smug quality to it. The velvety sound shot right through me and made my already sticky problem worse. I glanced back over my shoulder at him, narrowed my eyes and pointed at him accusatorially. "Don't you laugh. This is your fault after all."

His smug grin only widened, and he simply said, "I know."

The bottom dropped out of my stomach, as once again his words impacted me more strongly than I expected, and I grunted, turning and walking my wobbly way to the bathroom, shedding my pants as soon as I closed the door. I couldn't believe I had gotten this aroused already after having peaked just a few minutes ago.

I jumped in the shower and scrubbed off all the grime and dirt from sparring, all the sweat from both the sparring and the sex, and all the sticky nonsense from between my thighs. Once I was finished I refused to put my pants back on, so I simply wrapped a towel around my hips instead, firmly tucking in the ends. I walked out into the bedroom like that, mostly comfortable being topless around Gaara now, just still being a little shy about the bottom parts. But it still felt a little odd to be almost completely naked around him.

"You got anything I could wear?" I asked, and Gaara slowly looked over. His eyes immediately went to the towel around my hips and stayed there, getting a weird neon gleam.

"What would you do if I said no?" He murmured.

I blinked, thinking about that. "Well, I guess I'd just have to raid your chest of drawers." I said angelically, and he snorted, trying not to look amused and failing.

"Help yourself." He rumbled, his voice a little rough, probably from all the moaning, growling, and shouting he had been doing a few moments ago. He smoothly rolled out of bed, and then stumbled a little as his legs also proved to be a little wobbly. I snorted.

He just gave me a look and then walked towards the bathroom as I had done, a little unsteady on his feet.

I riffled through his drawers, as he disappeared in the bathroom, and I found a pair of red boxer shorts. I slipped them on and then got an evil idea, grinning widely. This would be a great opportunity to get him back for walking in on me while I was taking a shower. I gathered up a fresh pair of underwear and pants for Gaara and walked over to the bathroom door stalling outside for a moment. I hoped he wasn't going to flash me or something, I mean, I wasn't quite ready to _see_ everything I had just touched through his pants.

I hesitated for a second, but eventually I found I just couldn't resist, so I walked in and said, "Here's a fresh change of clothes, I'll just put them on the counter." And then laughed as I heard the telltale squeaky sound of his foot slipping on the tiled floor of the shower, and the clunk of the soap as he knocked it off the little soap ledge.

"What the…" I heard him mutter, and then louder, "Ren?!"

"What's wrong Gaara? You were certainly fine with walking in on me in the shower, so I figured it wouldn't bother you." I teased him, unable to help myself.

There was a brief shocked pause and then I heard him growl. That was all the warning I got before the shower door opened. I yelped as a very wet, very naked Gaara leaned out and looked at me with slitted eyes.

He was sopping wet, a little soapy, and completely naked except for a washcloth held almost casually over his groin. My eyes raked over his muscular legs, which I had never seen before, and mapped the way they tensed and bunched as he leaned out of the shower, leading up to his lean hips, which I could see all too much of. Looking at his hips of course led me to looking at his stomach, and the ridges of muscle there. And that fascinating V of muscle in his stomach and hips led all the way down to that tuft of dark crimson hair that I could just see peeking out above that damn washcloth.

I blinked as I somewhat numbly noted that he had red hair on his legs, mostly on his calves. That shouldn't be a surprise, but for some reason it kind of was. Go figure.

He let me stare for a moment and then he pointedly said, "It doesn't bother _me_ , but don't walk in unannounced until _you_ are ready to see me naked." He pinned me with a heated look that had my legs wobbling again.

"Yeah, sure…" I squeaked and after a good long pause he stepped back into the shower and closed the door again with a snap.

I very softly whimpered and sat down on a bench as I worked on trying to recollect my completely scattered thoughts. The image of him, his dark red wet hair dripping into his challenging glare, the water and soap sliding down his muscular lean body, over all that pale, wonderful skin. I suddenly had the gut wrenching urge to go in there and touch as much of him as I possibly could, wanting to know if his skin had been as slick had it had looked.

After a while, my musings were interrupted by his raspy, somewhat amused voice. "Ren? Are you still in here?" I jerked, drawn out of my heated thoughts.

"Er. Physically, yes. Mentally, I think you shorted out a few circuits." I groaned.

He barked a laugh, and my head jerked up. _Did he just laugh? Loudly?_ I stared in shock at the fuzzy, red-topped Gaara shape in the fogged up glass.

"Unless you want more circuits to short out I would suggest you leave now." He said, his voice highly amused.

"Hn? Oh, right." I said and then hustled to leave when I heard the water shut off in the shower.

I scooted out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment as I faintly heard the shower door open inside. I flushed and walked over to the bed, groaning softly. Naturally that's when Kitty had to make her thoughts known.

 _ **So.**_

 _What?_

 _ **He was naked.**_

 _I noticed._ I flopped onto the bed, whining softly as the vivid images once again seared my mind's eye.

 _ **And he was hot as hell.**_

… _yes._ I whimpered mentally, really trying hard to get myself under control.

 _ **And you didn't take the obvious invitation.**_

 _I'm pretty sure he was just making a point, not necessarily inviting me to join him._ I protested.

 _ **I doubt he would have minded. He said he was okay with you seeing him naked. AND YOU DIDN"T JUMP HIM!**_

I flinched and yelped at the outburst. _We just got done doing all kinds of stuff! You're still not satisfied?!_

She purred, obviously remembering, but then reverted back to her original argument. _**That was great Kitten, it really was…but did you really think that would fully satisfy me? I WANT TO FUCK HIM!**_

I whimpered, her loud screech immediately making my head hurt. _Tone it down would you? You gave me a headache!_

 _ **GOOD!**_

I snarled, as Gaara walked out of the bathroom. I heard him pause and then he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Kitty's being a bitch." I groaned. She hissed in my head.

He chuckled. "About what?"

"She wanted me to pounce on you when you were naked. And now she's mad because I didn't." I grumbled.

He chuckled, low and deep, which didn't help my state of mind at all. I could have sworn I heard him mutter "…smart Kitty…" under his breath, but I decided not to comment on it.

We ordered food, and ate it, and eventually I put on a t-shirt that Gaara had because I started to feel a little odd about being mostly naked after a while. Gaara didn't seem too pleased about it, based on the quickly masked frown that I saw briefly twitch his features.

And soon it was pretty damn late, and I started yawning every few minutes, my body reminding me that I hadn't been sleeping well lately, and last night, despite getting some sleep thanks to Gaara, I still hadn't slept all that much. Gaara stood and walked back into the bedroom from where we had been hanging out in the living area, me reading a scroll and him doing a little late night paperwork, which was a bad habit I was going to have to break him of.

"Come." Gaara said as he walked through the bedroom door.

I looked up blinking at the bossiness that was my boyfriend. And then I smirked, my mouth spouting off before I had a chance to censor my words due to my brain's lack of sleep. "I thought we already did that."

Gaara stalled and I heard a sharp inhale, probably shocked by my crude joke. Frankly I was shocked too. After a moment, his head slowly turned and he looked at me over his shoulder, his gaze heated and still a little surprised. He did one of those very, very slow blinks of his, that for whatever reason made my stomach tighten.

After a long moment his gaze grew slightly mischievous and I saw the very subtle smirk on the corner of his lips. "…indeed." I sucked in a breath at the deep silky tone of his voice and his smirk grew a little wider. "I was intending on sleeping, but if you would prefer to do something else…"

I choked, flushing, and hurried to say, "No, no. I'm good. Thank you though." I wasn't really sure about repeating the intense experience from earlier just yet.

As pleasurable as that had been, I was a little nervous about doing it again. I knew that I wouldn't have as much trouble as I had this time, since I had managed to break through whatever nonsense had been clogging up the works, but even so, I knew it would probably still be a little difficult for me. Even just the experience had created new nerves inside of me.

It was weird. Before, I had been nervous about not knowing what to expect, and now I was nervous because I _did_ know. Even despite logically knowing that the more we did stuff, the more I would grow comfortable with it, I was sort of dreading the embarrassment, discomfort, and probably some anxiety that would still happen for a while until I acclimated. And the experience had just been so fucking intense, I still wasn't fully able to wrap my mind around it.

Of course I was totally ready to do it to Gaara again. That hadn't caused any sort of fear, and only mild nerves and embarrassment at first, and was absolutely amazing. I couldn't wait to touch him like that again.

I shook my head, and caught the amused, somewhat smug look Gaara was giving me. He chuckled and said, "Are you sure?"

Apparently I was giving off that scent again or something, because he had somehow picked up on my renewed arousal. I flushed and said firmly, if a little on the higher pitched side of things, "Yes. Very sure."

He just chuckled again, a little louder this time, and continued walking towards the bedroom. "Very well. Then come to bed. To _sleep_."

I huffed and got up, following him into the room. He walked over to his dresser, got out a bundle of cloth, and then I yelped as he began to unbutton his pants. He slanted his eyes my way, and I gaped at him, blushing, as he unzipped and then peeled his pants down his hips. To my relief he left on his underwear and simply took of his pants, slipping into what appeared to be a pair of black pajama pants.

He walked over to the bed and I cocked my head to the side, admiring the view of his butt in the new, clingier, pants. Not to mention they hung significantly lower on his hips than his regular pants, and I found that I liked them. A lot.

He slid smoothly into bed and turned his gaze to me expectantly. My body took that as a cue to yawn, very widely, and his gaze softened a tad. He gently murmured, "It's late. We should go to sleep."

"By we, you mean me of course." I snorted.

He just blinked.

I walked over to the bed and then hesitated. "Um…on the other hand…maybe it's not such a good idea for me to spend the night."

"Why?"

I flushed. "Well…we…I mean, we sort of went pretty far today, and if I spend the night…after that…"

Gaara snorted. "I will refrain myself from molesting you while you're asleep."

I blinked at him and then burst into surprised laughter. "That's good to know…" I giggled, wiping my eyes.

"Just come to bed Ren. Nothing will happen." He sighed, holding out a hand.

I huffed, relaxing, and took his hand, joining him on the bed, and crawling over him to get to the other side. I slipped under the covers and snuggled down. The lights went out, and I knew his sand had been responsible for that.

"Goodnight." I murmured sleepily, already feeling myself drift.

"Goodnight Ren." He whispered back from his side of the bed.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Okay, so you might be wondering, ' _why in the hell did she make such a big deal out of a little foreplay_?' And the answer is this, I thought it was important to outline everything in great detail. Just like their first kiss, remember that? As I said then, I will repeat now, all the firsts will be very detailed and long, so expect some chapters of just that. But more than that, anything that has an emotional consequence will be very important to their character development, so I make a big deal out of it. And yes, Ren's scene was a little longer than Gaara's probably, but, as I've noted before, it can be very complicated with women, and even more so when that woman has emotional problems.

If you don't like all the smutty details, just skim over them, because I'm not taking them out, mwahahaha. And I did give you lemon warnings. It's a personal pet peeve of mine when someone goes to all the trouble of writing super detailed scenes in everything but sex, it just seems so half-assed at that point. Or tasteful, however you want to put it. But it still bugs me.

BTW, is everyone okay with how I'm putting in the lemon warnings? I don't want them to be irritating, just helpful for those out there that don't enjoy that sort of thing. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, as you can see things are heating up between our two lovers. ;)


	72. Burn With Me: Chapter 51

**There will be lemons in this chapter. You know the drill.**

* * *

 **Gaara POV**

As they settled down for the night, Gaara watched as Ren drifted off to sleep, her breathing changing almost immediately. He rolled onto his side, his eyes staring at the back of her head, and reached out one hand to lightly play with the end of her long ponytail gently, wishing that he could hold her. But he figured that it might be too much for her after the staggering amount of physical intimacy they had already had that day. She'd obviously been shaken by the intensity of what they'd done earlier, and though she didn't seem afraid anymore, she was still obviously nervous about it all.

He understood, after all he had his own emotional issues to deal with, so he was completely willing to help her through hers, particularly if it meant he got to push her boundaries as he had earlier. He grinned, remembering that he had finally been able to somewhat satisfy his curiosity.

It wasn't long before Ren started to move, her body tensing and then flopping onto her back as she whined. He blinked, sitting up a little to try and determine if she was having a nightmare. She rolled back onto her side, curling into a fetal position as she made a few more distressed sounds. She'd said she had nightmares every night, but this was ridiculous. No sooner was she asleep than she apparently began having one.

She gasped his name, sounding as if she was crying out to him in fear, or possibly pain. He sucked in a breath and reached over, lightly grabbing her shoulder and rolling her over onto her back. She fought him, her body thrashing a little, and she cried out, sounding desperate. His heart squeezed painfully, hurting for her.

He quickly grabbed both her arms and shook her, saying firmly, "Ren. Wake up. Wake up. Ren! Wake UP!"

 **Ren POV**

As soon as I closed my eyes I found myself slipping into that dark place inside my mind, as usual, and immediately smelled the coppery scent of blood. I whined, struggling against the inevitable, but continued to sink deeper into the nightmare.

It was dark, and I was running, running towards a cave I knew too well. I could see Gaara's hovering form faintly in the distance, and knew he was dying, and I cried out his name, desperately trying to reach him in time. And then chains whipped out of the darkness and wrapped around me, dragging me down kicking and screaming until I was on a table, my hands and feet bound, and utterly helpless as I heard Gaara's pained scream.

Then suddenly someone was shaking me, and I slowly clawed my way out of the nightmare, to the sound of someone's voice calling my name. I woke with a gasp, utterly disoriented. It was so dark that for a second I still thought I was in the dream.

"Ren. Are you awake now?" I heard a familiar raspy voice murmur, directly over me.

"Gaara?" I mumbled, trembling.

"I'm here." He said softly and gently gathered me in his arms, rolling so that I was practically on top of him.

I gasped and shuddered, snuggling closer to him, as close as physically possible. My legs wrapped around one of his, one arm wrapped around him, up under his arm to grab onto the back of his shoulder, my other tucked somewhat awkwardly between us. My hand was up by my face and I grabbed a fistful of blankets and tugged them up around my shoulders as I buried my face into his chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his soothing heartbeat.

After a moment I murmured sleepily, "Sorry."

"For what?" He asked, sounding utterly confused.

"For…you know…disturbing your rest." I had been about to say ' _for waking you up,_ ' but then remembered that he didn't sleep.

He huffed. "You're ridiculous. Don't be sorry."

I sighed, nuzzling my nose on his skin. "Thank you." I whispered.

"…hm?"

"For waking me up. Before it got too bad." I sighed.

"You're welcome."

I hummed and slowly drifted back to sleep, and this time Gaara's scent and body warmth helped to keep the nightmares at bay. And there was that deep purr that I often heard in my sleep when spending the night with Gaara, the soothing sound also helping me to stay away from the nightmares.

When I woke the next morning, I found myself mostly in the same position, a little off to the side now, but still sort of draped across Gaara's chest. I lay still for a while, simply enjoying the insane heat he gave off, and the warm, spicy, sandy smell of his skin. Of course naturally that led to my body waking up a little too much, and Kitty grumbled in my head, but I ignored that for the moment, simply enjoying the peaceful moment.

Gaara appeared to be in his trance-like meditative state, judging from the deep even breaths that slowly made me rise and fall. I opened my eyes, looking down his torso, and noticed something that made me flush. At some point in the night one of us must have shoved the covers down some, which probably had been me to compensate for the heat Gaara was giving off, and so I had a clear view of the tent in Gaara's stretchy pajama pants.

* * *

 **Semi-Explicit Lemony Stuff Warning**

* * *

I blinked, wide-eyed, at the much more visible shape of his dick underneath the thin material. He hadn't seemed quite so big yesterday, but maybe that was because I could see him so much better through his pajamas. Hesitantly, and very slowly, I reached out and lightly poked it out of curiosity.

I was shocked when the small touch garnered such an intense reaction, the dick that I had just poked hopping up and down a couple of times very obviously. I could see the movement much more clearly through the thin stretchy material of his pajamas, which made sense considering the soft cloth gave his dick much less resistance than the somewhat stiff material of his black pants that he normally wore. That was accompanied by Gaara's body underneath me tensing up impossibly and his hand grabbing my wrist in a vice grip.

"I would suggest you refrain from touching me there without warning me first…unless you're ready for the repercussions." He growled, the sound deep and reverberating in his chest.

"Repercussions?" I asked, perhaps a bit too curious for my own good.

His other hand came down to grip my knee, which was still draped over his leg, and I gasped as he hiked it up around his hips, my inner thigh pressing to that stiff ridge across his groin. He bucked his hips, grinding his dick into my thigh, making a very clear suggestion as to what exactly those repercussions might entail.

I shuddered against him, the new position of my leg having pressed my _area_ very firmly against his hip, and the movement of his hips rubbed against me in such a way that if I hadn't already been very warm, I was certainly hot now. It really didn't help that I was still wearing just his boxer shorts, and so the position I now found myself in had actually pulled the crotch to the side, meaning that my folds were rubbing directly onto his pajama bottoms. I was very grateful that he was wearing them, because I didn't think I was ready for skin to skin contact there yet. But it was totally his fault if he ended up with a wet spot on his hip.

"Repercussions." He growled, and then put my leg back down where it had been before.

"…right." I wheezed, a little out of breath.

We lay in silence, shocked silence on my part, and then Gaara sighed. "I apologize for being rough, I was just surprised."

I blinked. "No problem." I said, my voice an odd mix of chuckling and choking. After a moment's pause I asked, "So…why were you…I mean why are you…um…"

"Aroused?" He asked, somewhat sardonically.

"Ehm, yeah." I flushed.

"It just happens in the mornings." He huffed a sigh.

"Really?" And then after taking a moment to think about it I said, "But I've woken up next to you before, and I don't remember ever seeing it."

"I hid it."

"Oh." I flushed at the knowledge that he had had an erection before when I woke up next to him, and I just never knew it. "So I guess you usually…uh…take care of it…"

He snorted. "Sometimes. Or else I just ignore it."

"Huh. I guess it just goes away by itself eventually?" I blinked, figuring that made sense, I'd just never thought about it before.

"Generally."

"Interesting." I hummed, still looking at his hard on, fascinated.

"Isn't it the same for you? If ignored, it just goes away?" He inquired after a moment of silence, sounding curious now.

"I suppose. But even if I don't…uh, relieve myself…I still have to…mop up." I flushed a little.

"Mop up? Oh…you mean that fluid you produce." He said, and I was surprised to see his dick twitch. Apparently the thought had aroused him. Go figure.

And we were left in a somewhat awkward situation. I should probably let him take care of himself, my being on him like this was probably preventing him from going into the bathroom to jerk off. But then again, he could always just ask me to get off _. Or_ …I flushed…. _he could do it here_. _Maybe I could just…roll over, or look away._ The thought sent heat shooting through me. Kitty definitely approved, I could hear her purring. I sucked in a deep breath, deciding that I would pose the question to him and see if he wanted to.

"Um…if you want to…uh…take care of that…I could close my eyes, or something." I mumbled, blushing.

He stiffened beneath me. "Are you suggesting that I…do that…here?" His voice came out raspy, and I wasn't sure if the suggestion had offended him or aroused him. But judging by the way his dick pulsed a few times I would suspect that it was the later of the two.

"Well…yeah. If you wanted to." I mumbled, biting my lip. I could feel my pulse increasing at the prospect and something inside of me clenched in a spastic sort of way.

He sucked in a deep breath, and then his hand came up and landed on his stomach. Low on his stomach. "You sure?" He asked softly, I guess worried that I was uncomfortable or something.

"Yes." I replied, eagerly, very much wanting to see this. Well, not necessarily _see_ , since I would close my eyes, but feel, and hear.

* * *

 **Explicit Lemony-type Warning: you have been warned.**

* * *

He shivered under me, which was something I didn't think he'd ever done before, and his hand slowly slid under his waist band. I sucked in a deep breath at the visual, watching as the shape of his hand made what appeared to be a fist under his pants, around his dick. His body shuddered and I felt the vibration of a nearly inaudible moan sound under my ear.

 **Gaara POV**

As his palm closed around his shaft his eyes rolled back into his head and he moaned, the sensation of his hand on his dick, in conjunction with Ren's body being pressed up against him, and simply the fact that she was there while he was touching himself, drove his arousal through the roof. He couldn't help himself from bucking up into his hand, and heard Ren gasp.

He squeezed, and the sensation had him gasping too.

No sooner had he started, than Ren hesitantly spoke up. "Do you mind if I stay here…uh…like this?" Her hand that was lying on his chest slid to his side and hugged a little, showing what she meant by pressing her body closer to his.

He flinched from pleasure and managed to moan, "…not at all."

Having her draped over him was doing all kinds of funny things to his senses, things that he very much liked, and so he definitely did not want her to move.

She sighed and nuzzled closer, murmuring, "…good." Into the skin of his chest, her warm breath making those nerves tingle.

He carefully fisted himself, sliding his palm back and forth over his dick while it was still lying flat against his stomach, so that he didn't lift up the material of his pajama pants. Not that he was particularly shy, or felt uncomfortable with Ren seeing him, but he knew _she_ was shy, and had already expressed an unreadiness to see that part of his body. And he had this strange urge for her to be able to keep her eyes open, the idea that she was watching him as he was doing this really turning him on for some reason.

He also made sure to keep his movements relatively smooth, so as to not jar her, and though he was used to jerking on his dick quickly, the slow measured movements of his hand over that flesh was very pleasurable as well, he just found that he needed to squeeze a little harder.

As he found a slow, smooth rhythm, that didn't seem to be bouncing Ren around, and was also very pleasurable for him, a moan popped out of his mouth, surprising him just a little. He heard a very soft sound come from Ren, and slowly became aware of her scent steadily growing alongside his own. Not that he was particularly aware of his own scent. Actually, he was mostly desensitized to his own scent, so he could very clearly smell her, and that wonderful musky, sort of salty, perhaps a little sweet, smell that she gave off when she was aroused.

 **Ren POV**

I watched avidly as Gaara's hand set up a rhythm, obviously stroking himself under his pants. I was glad that he hadn't taken them off, because being able to watch him was absolutely fascinating, and arousing at the same time. I could feel myself growing more and more aroused, that warm slippery sensation between my thighs a dead giveaway.

I figured he could probably smell me, and that was a little embarrassing, but I was too entranced to really pay much attention to that fact. I was much more interested in his scent than in mine. He was producing that musk that drove my temperature through the roof. After a while, I saw the muscles in his forearm shift ever so slightly, indicating he had tightened his grip, and he moaned, the low gravelly sound going straight to my core and making me clench in a pleasurable way. I didn't even notice the tiny sound that burbled out of my own throat in response.

My breathing matched his, until we were both panting, and he arched into his hand, his stomach clenching in that ripple of muscle that went from his chest down to his groin. I had felt it when he had rolled his hips against me, but I hadn't seen it, and it was just as arousing to watch. My hand slid down from his chest and I stroked my palm over the ridges of muscle in his stomach, almost without conscious thought. He jerked, his stomach flinching under my touch, and a groan came from his throat, reassuring me that the movement of his body was from pleasure and not discomfort.

His hips curled upwards, his stomach flexing in the way I remembered from yesterday, and his fist moved a little faster. The leg that was between my own bent a little at the knee so his heel could dig into the mattress. After a moment he gasped out, "Ren! I need to…push my pants down a little…if you don't want to see…close your eyes…"

I gasped, and shut my eyes, burying my face into his chest more. I heard the rustle of cloth as he did what he had said he was going to do, and released himself from the confines of his pajamas and boxers. From what I could tell, the angle of his movements shifted, and I supposed he was stroking away from himself now instead of up against his belly. Immediately a sound bubbled up from his chest, something between a moan and a whine, but I couldn't really place it, aside from the fact that I had to fight from responding with my own.

His leg between mine tensed and shifted, and suddenly it was pressed up against me, and I found that every twitch of his muscle sent a zing of pleasure shooting through me. Not that the pressure was enough to make me orgasm or anything, it didn't feel that good, but it served to ramp me up another level in arousal. I hissed and was unable to prevent myself from bucking against him, and then I flushed, a little embarrassed at the way my body misbehaved.

A sound between a moan and a growl rumbled in his chest and his whole body bucked against me. I gasped, nearly knocked off and my hand grabbed his side, holding me against him. I could feel his arm shifting back and forth against the back of my hand, and the knowledge of what exactly that meant had me biting back a moan.

I could feel his torso tightening against me, the way his whole body was straining, and the way his leg was trembling, just a little, in between my own, and I knew he was probably getting close. As he continued to stroke himself, and I felt the way his hips rolled almost rhythmically now, a niggling urge started up in the back of my mind, quickly growing from a tiny thought into an all-encompassing desire. As much as I wasn't sure I was ready to see him yet, I felt like I had to peek, to at least catch a glimpse of what he was doing and what it looked like. I bit my lip, gnawing on it a little as I tried to decide what to do.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I sucked in a deep breath. I decided to open my eyes for one second and then shut them again right away, just to catch a glimpse. My eyelids fluttered, and then I opened my eyes for a split second, gasping as I shut them almost as soon as I opened them. From the brief sight, I hadn't really gotten any details, just an impression. I had seen his fist moving back and forth, over what must be his dick, although I had closed my eyes before I really had a chance to make anything out about it. I had seen his tuft of bright red hair, and the way his pants were shoved down below his dick, and the way all those stomach muscles converged in that thatch of scarlet.

I had never seen a dick before, and hadn't really seen Gaara's due to the briefness of the glance and the way he was pumping it with his fist, his hand sort of getting in the way of me getting a clear view. The only thing I had really gathered was the way it stood strait up from his groin, although that was probably the way he was holding it, and that it had looked thicker and longer than I had expected, which was probably because I had never seen one before. It had looked like the skin there was a bit darker and pinker than the rest of his body, but it was difficult to really tell since his hand had been in the way.

I flushed bright red, and immediately felt like I had a fever. That one little peek had been enough to send me into a tizzy, and I felt like a blushing virgin. Which was stupid, and frankly I was too aroused to really get as embarrassed as I normally would. I really wished that I was confident enough to look again, and really look this time, but sadly I simply couldn't force myself to, even when given the opportunity. Which of course was driving Kitty mad.

And then abruptly, Gaara's dick and its appearance was shoved rudely out of my thoughts as I felt that strange grainy, yet silky, feel of sand against my foot. _Oh boy, here we go again._ I sucked in a breath as two things began to happen simultaneously. Gaara was quickly approaching his peak, which I could tell by the growl that was now a constant rumble and slowly growing louder in his chest, and by the way his whole body was tensed against mine, so that was taking up a good portion of my attention. The other half of me was focused on that sand, and the way it was caressing my foot in a strangely sensual manner and slowly crawling up my ankle. The sensation was strangely arousing, and I wasn't entirely sure what to think about that.

And then Gaara took up all my attention as his body arched and he gasped, a moan breaking from his mouth much louder than before and I knew he was climaxing, and the thought aroused me so much that my fingernails dug into the skin of his side as I pulled myself as close as I could to him. I wanted to feel every little tremor that went through his body. And that caused him to gasp and then moan my name, which made my core spasm and a tiny moan popped out of my own mouth.

He came down from his high, his hips bucking against me every so often, and then I felt his muscles go lax as he relaxed onto the bed. The sand retreated from my foot and ankle. We were both panting from the experience, and a little sweaty. I was still hopelessly aroused, but I wasn't really willing to do anything about it at the moment. After a few minutes I felt Gaara shifting and assumed he was wiping up the mess he had made on his belly. I heard the rustle of cloth and then the subtle pop as the elastic of his pants was released.

* * *

 **End of Lemon**

* * *

"You can open your eyes Ren." Gaara lazily murmured.

"Oh. Thanks." I whispered and opened my eyes, to see that his belly was still glistening a little with moisture, but that whatever had been there was mostly cleaned off. I swallowed thickly at the thought of what that meant.

After another minute or two, Gaara shifted again, and his raspy voice broke the silence. "You're aroused."

I sucked in a startled breath at the strait-forward announcement, and then flushed a little. "Um…I ah…well…yeah…kinda." I mumbled into his chest.

"Do you want to…" He trailed off.

I wasn't entirely sure what he was suggesting, whether he wanted me to do what he just did, or was offering to do what he had done for me last night, but either way I wasn't ready yet.

"I…I'm okay…we don't really have time for that sort of thing. We probably need to get to work." I scrambled for an excuse, and that was a good one, because it was true.

He heaved a sigh. "I suppose you are correct. Very well. Later then."

I sat up, and then he sat up, and then we got out of bed and got ready for the day. I redressed in the nasty clothes from yesterday and told Gaara I would be right back, scooting to my room to dress in fresh clothes. And to clean up the mess between my thighs. I rejoined him and we left his apartments as Kazekage and his bodyguard.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Okay, so this chapter is rather short, and unapologetically smutty, but I couldn't really combine it with the upcoming chapter.

The next chapter gets really dark, be forewarned, and is really fucking intense, so strap on your seat belts and headgear, and bring some tissues. The upcoming chapter is the only chapter I actually had to pause midway through because I was crying too hard to finish writing.

So I figured a light and fluffy chapter would be nice to have before that. :3


	73. Burn With Me: Chapter 52 & 53

Once we reached the office we sat down to paperwork as usual and I settled in to finish reading the scroll I started last night about lightning chakra nature. Several hours later a messenger trotted into the room and dropped off a file from the hospital.

Gaara opened it and read the contents, then said, "Ren. This is for you."

I blinked and took it from him, sitting back down to read it, a little bemused. "What is…Oh! It's the results from the DNA test!"

He nodded and watched as I read the contents. They had been able to track down my parents. I stared blankly at the first sheet of paper, and found that it was strangely difficult to read. Numbly I realized my hands were shaking, and that was probably why the words were swimming across the page. But at this point I had given up on the words, just looking at the picture at the top. It was a headshot, a woman with the same purple eyes as mine stared back up at me. Her lavender hair was in a bun. A smile curled her lips. And suddenly I had a strange brief image flash across my mind, for a split second I saw this woman, as if I was looking up at her, and she was smiling at me, her eyes happy and full of love.

I blinked, my mind utterly spacing out to absorb the new information. _I actually remember her?_ _My mother?_ I had never thought that I had any memories left. I gingerly touched the picture and swallowed thickly, a tear coming from one eye. "I think I remember…her." I whispered, shivering.

I didn't notice Gaara's sand, or the way it snuck over to the door to lock it. I didn't even notice Gaara, when he stood and walked over to stand in front of me. I only noticed when his hands came into my field of view and cradled mine. I looked up, my eyes wide and shocked.

"Tell me." He murmured, looking gently into my eyes.

"It's just a…picture in my head. It was just sort of there and then it was gone. I saw her smiling at me, and she looked like…like she loved me. So why did she…?" I trailed off, wondering why she left if she had loved me.

And suddenly I was struck by fear, not wanting to look at the next page for some reason. I glanced up, wildly looking at Gaara. "Have you…read it yet?" I asked desperately, hoping he had, so he could tell me what to expect.

His face grew serious, and I could see the way his eyes tightened in concern. "No I haven't. Why? What's wrong?"

I took a shuddering breath, and began to tremble. "I…I don't know. But something isn't…it's not right. I don't want to look at the next page. I'm afraid."

"I can look for you, if you want." Gaara offered. And I thought about it, before nodding and handing it over.

I could feel something, something dark, coming forth from my mind, as if from the depths of my nightmares. And suddenly it was as if I was in a nightmare, or rather, I was remembering a nightmare, and it felt like I had had it many times before. Suddenly, I knew what had always had me waking screaming, shuddering, terrified, and yet utterly incapable of remembering the nightmare. It happened often enough, but I never thought anything of it. But now I knew, there was something there, something so terrible I really didn't _want_ to know what it was.

Gaara opened the folder in his hands and looked down at the paper. He flipped to the next page scanned it briefly, and flipped to the next. On the third page, I watched his face go from impassive to something else, his eyes widening and then tightening as soon as he turned the page. He glanced at the last few pages, looking more and more horrified. His eyes flew back up to mine, and then back down to the page, and he closed his eyes, his eyebrows scrunching before he gently closed the folder.

"It's bad isn't it." I whispered, feeling my gut clench.

He nodded.

I sucked in a deep breath. "They died…didn't they?"

He opened his eyes, opening the folder, and flipping to the third page, glancing over it, and then flipping to the final page. His jaw tightened. "Yes."

I sucked in a shuddering breath. "I see." And somehow I was filled with a strange sense of peace. They hadn't abandoned me because they had wanted to. "Is there a picture of my father?"

He nodded and detached it from the paper, handing it over. I looked down at his face, and faintly caught a glimpse of him in my memory as well, just a hint, the short sound of a deep voice, and the brief flash of teeth in a wide grin. I sighed and handed the picture back to Gaara, and he tucked it into the folder.

"Tell me. Please." I murmured.

"They were both prominent ninja of the sand. They were ambushed, here in the village, by enemies they had made on one of their higher ranked missions."

I flinched, a flash of something crossing my mind that I didn't want to see, the faint memory of blood, and I foggily could see my hands coated in it. I hissed in a breath, fearing the memory. "I…I think I was there." I shakily murmured, pulling my knees up to my chest.

His eyes opened wide and he flipped to a page, looking down at it. He sucked in a breath.

 **Gaara POV**

As he looked at the pictures from the crime scenes, he couldn't imagine a toddler Ren being exposed to the amount of violence shown. The man, Ren's father, was in a house, lying on the floor in a puddle of blood, his head nearly chopped off, a sword nearby. The woman, her mother, was in an alleyway. In the report it said that her father had been killed first, and Gaara filled in the blanks, knowing that he had probably been trying to bide some time for his family to escape. But obviously her mother hadn't escaped, because she was lying in an alleyway, very much dead. She had been killed with a blade of some sort as well, and her entire chest had been split open in a gruesome blood mess.

As he flipped to the very last page, skipping the report, and saw two pictures of what the report said were the intruders. Two of them, one with a sword, and one with a huge saw-like blade. Obviously Ren's mother had put up a good fight though, because the remains of one of the enemies was nearly unrecognizable as a human, his body twisted as if he had been picked up by a tornado, and was lying in a different alley some ways away from the location she died, and there was trash everywhere from what looked like some sort of major storm. Even the road had been peeled up in parts. The other enemy, the one with the huge sawblade, was near where she had died, and he was also dead, a bloody splatter mark on the wall making it apparent exactly why.

He flipped back to the her mother's picture, something about it troubling him. As he looked more and more closely, trying to figure out what it was that was bothering him, he finally saw it, the little detail that his eyes had seen but his mind hadn't fully been able to comprehend. There were tiny handprints in the blood, tiny handprints and tiny footprints.

 **Ren POV**

I shuddered. I knew I had to look, had to remember, otherwise it would haunt me forever, but I really, really didn't want to. I held out my hand for the file, my eyes squeezed shut. Gaara hesitated. "Are you sure…?"

"I have to…otherwise…" I trailed off, wincing.

Eventually he handed it over and I flipped to a random page, taking in a deep breath and then looking down. It was a picture of my father, in a pool of blood, on a wooden floor, and suddenly, I felt something, something black, and huge, and terrifying stir in my mind, coming to the surface, as memories started to come back to me, dancing before my eyes. They were fuzzy and indistinct, so I flipped to another page, until I saw my mother's body, equally very dead, in an alleyway.

Those dark memories drew closer and closer. I flipped to the last page, saw the faces of the two men, and suddenly the darkness took me. I was unaware of the way the folder fell limply out of my lap, or how my eyes were staring blindly forwards, or Gaara quickly lunging forwards to wrap his arms around me as I tilted. All I knew was the nightmare that I was dropping into. The memory was so deep, that I was completely immersed in it, and suddenly I was looking through the slots in a closet, listening to the sounds of a fight, feeling utterly terrified, in the dark.

And then I heard a male voice, _my father_ , I dimly realized, shouting, "Get Ren out of here!"

I heard a women protesting, heard the way she wanted to stay and fight, but eventually I could hear the sounds of battle coming closer, and I knew she was coming for me, _my mother_ , to protect me.

The closet doors swung open and I was grabbed, lifted into hard arms, pulled to a breastplate. I recognized her scent, the warm metallic smell comforting me. And we ran. She held me to her tightly, but I was still jostled against her metal armor as she whirled and sprinted for the door. We dashed out of the house so fast my head spun, but then she stalled for a second, looking back, and I saw my father making eye contact with her, a brief poignant second where they both looked into each other's soul, knowing it could be for the last time. And then he shouted, "Go!"

I heard her cry out, a sob, and then she turned and ran. From my vantage point, looking over her shoulder, I stared wide eyed, at my father, through the open doorway to our house, and saw a sword come down on his neck, saw a spray of blood, and I screamed. "DADDY!"

I heard and felt my mother cry harder, knowing that she knew what had happened, and we ran. We ran like I always did in my nightmares. And then I felt her skid to a halt, and looked back over my shoulder, seeing a man with a huge sword that looked wicked and evil, like a saw. My mother gasped, turned, and ran down an alleyway, running until another man stepped out from the other end, his sword dripping with blood. And I knew that it was my father's blood.

My mother snarled and set me down at her feet. And then the wind picked up, as my mother grunted.

The man with the bloody sword came first, stalking down the alleyway as the other guy blocked off the other end. My father's killer grinned widely, smearing his fingers in the blood on his sword, and then licked them. My mother choked.

"What's wrong Asani, can't stand the sight of a little blood?" He taunted my mother. His blood coated sword swung through the air, spraying both me and her. I felt a warm drop land on my cheek and flinched violently.

"You bastard." She growled above me, and the wind began to whistle through the alleyway. Some loose trash was picked up from the ground and flung into the air.

The man laughed and said, "Perhaps we'll kill your daughter next, leave you for last so you can suffer the most."

I shrunk against my mother's legs, whimpering. She made some terrible noise above me, and screamed, "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HER!"

The wind around us exploded, screaming as loudly as her, and I clung to her legs, frightened. A large metal dumpster was picked up and flung through the air, sending trash and debris scattering everywhere. The ground itself began to peel up around us, bits of sandstone cartwheeling through the air. I could feel the air around us begin to crackle, my mother's chakra leaking out of her into the wind.

With a terrible scream my mother formed a series of fast hand signs and then swung her arms through the air, crossed over each other, and she yelled, "Ultimate Tornado Jutsu!" and then added, "Die you bastard!"

An enormous crack rang through the night, the sound as loud and terrifying as thunder right on top of us, and suddenly the sky itself seemed to split open, an immense coil of wind lowering from the heavens. As it dropped towards us, I could hear a great rumble, the sound immense and shaking the ground beneath us, and as the funnel got closer to the ground the sound rose to a howl so loud I had to cover my ears.

I screamed, my mother screamed, and the air itself screamed.

The twister touched down, on top of the man who had threatened to kill me, and though he scrambled to get out of the way, he was no match for the power of nature itself. He disappeared into the swirling air, and then after a moment the funnel lifted and he dropped to the ground, his body twisted in ways that shouldn't be possible. My young eyes stared at his gruesome body in horror, feeling as though my blood ran cold.

And then my mother picked me up and we were running again, running, and running, until something came whistling out of the night towards us and my mother stumbled, crying out as she landed on one knee, a kunai knife deeply imbedded behind her other knee. She tried to stand and run again, but simply couldn't, and I clung to her neck as she staggered. She set me down, bending to kiss me on the forehead, told me everything was going to be okay, and turned to face the enemy. He came out of the darkness, wielding that evil looking blade, and my mother drew a long katana from a sheath on her back, a long beautiful sword, with a deadly point and a crimson handle.

She held it and then gripped it with both hands, swinging it through the air, and the sound it made was fantastic, like music, the highest, most clear note. And then her wind picked up again, swirling around the blade, and it sang. A clear crystalline sound came from the graceful metal, and she brought it up in front of her, blocking as that great big ugly sword came down hard on top of her.

Her sword cried out, and she grunted, swinging with all her might, and he was pushed off with a gust of wind. He kept beating at her with that nasty thing, and she kept holding him off, and I could feel air gathering to her again, crackling around me, but then it slowly started to dissipate. I could feel her chakra fading, as she reached her limit, already having fought hard even before she had grabbed me. They had planned it well, both my mother and father had only just got home from a long, difficult mission, and both had been exhausted.

He came at her again, but this time he aimed low, aimed for her legs, and for me. She gasped and fell to her knees in front of me, bringing her sword up to block him, knowing good and well she couldn't have blocked him with just her sword at such a weird angle, and so she compromised her position to save me. With her at a lower level, the enemy had the upper hand, and he sent out a boot, a big, ugly boot with a spike on it, and kicked her in the stomach. She was unable to block because she was using both hands to hold her sword, which was still engaged with his above us.

The blow had her gasping, and I could feel a little gust of wind, a flutter, trying to protect her, but she was almost out of chakra now, even as a toddler I could sense that. But she held her sword firm, holding that huge executioner's blade above us. And then he kicked again, and again, until her arms gave out and that wicked instrument fell, landing with a crunch in her chest. I screamed at the same time she cried out, the choked sound that came out of her chest ending with a gurgle. Her sword dropped to the ground. And then he pulled his blade free, and I screamed again at the gush of blood that came forth.

Something warm and wet touched my bare feet and I looked down, to see that I was standing in a puddle of blood, of her blood. And then there was a thud-splat sound as my mother fell to her side and skidded in the slick pool of her own blood, sent there with another kick hard.

I gasped and darted forward. Her eyes were a little glazed over with pain, and she reached out her hand, reaching for me. I almost got to her, stretching out my own fingers, as a hand grabbed my hair. I screamed as I was yanked back and my mother's eyes hardened. I heard that sword screech harshly across the ground as he dragged the tip forwards, and then he raised it, intending to kill me, and my terrified eyes met my mother's as I cried out, "MOMMY!" reaching out for her with both arms, wishing she could just pick me up and hold me like she always did when I was hurt or sad.

Her eyes flashed, and suddenly I felt the air change, as she gathered the last bit of her strength. She slowly raised one hand, and the air responded, circling around her fist, glimmering bright. "…you…will…not…touch…my…baby!" She spat, a little blood coming out of the corner of her mouth, and thrust her fist out. A bullet of air the size of her fist shot through the space between us and I heard it impact the man above me, and felt a yank on my hair. Then, suddenly he was gone, and I whirled, to see him hit the wall with a splat.

I turned back around and ran to my mother as her arm fell to the ground. I landed on my knees next to her, slipping in the sticky red liquid surrounding her. The scent of copper was so strong in the air I only just barely managed to not throw up.

I flung myself on her, wrapping my arms around her neck as best I could with her lying on the ground as she was, ignoring the warm wetness soaking my front from her broken and bloody chest, and I cried, "…mommy…mommy…mommy, wake up mommy, please wake up. The bad guy is gone. We're safe now."

Her eyes slowly opened, and she looked at me, one of her hands rising to cup my cheek. She smiled. "I love you baby. My sweet Ren." And then her eyes drifted to the side and became afraid. "You must run now. There are more coming. Run baby, and don't look back, I can't come with you this time."

"No mommy! I won't leave you!" I cried, sobbing into her chest.

"You MUST!" She exclaimed, and then coughed, blood spraying from her lips. "Now!" She pushed me away and I sobbed, trying to cling to her. But she was still strong, and she shoved. "Run away, Ren!" She yelled and then choked on the blood in her throat.

I staggered to my feet, standing there, trembling, for a moment. She looked up at me, her lips smiling, "Run for mommy Ren. Run for both of us. Be brave, baby, I know you can do it."

I sniffed, rubbed my eyes, and nodded, choking. I whispered, "Okay Mommy, I love you."

She looked up to me and smiled, the love shining in her eyes, and whispered back, "I love you too sweetheart, and I always will. Never forget that."

I sobbed and then turned and ran. I ran like I had never run before. I ran until it felt like the wind was helping me, and maybe it was, maybe it was Mommy urging me on to safety. I ran, and I cried until I couldn't see where it was that I was going anymore. And still I ran, blindly now. I ran until it felt like my lungs were on fire and the bloody footprints left behind me now were from my own blood, my bare feet torn to shreds on the rough stones of the street, Mommy's blood having worn off a long time ago.

* * *

 **Chapter 53**

* * *

 **Gaara POV**

He lunged forwards, catching Ren as she tilted in her chair, nearly falling out. Her eyes were wide and glassy, and she was utterly unresponsive. He hissed, and stroked his hand over her hair, settling them both on the floor as he pulled her onto his lap, rocking her gently. After a moment, he activated the communication jutsu, and after unsuccessfully trying to talk to her through their line, he delved deeper. Instead of just trying to communicate with her, he sent his whole consciousness in, searching for her.

He could tell from experience that she was stuck in a memory. He had felt something similar, when he had finally been able to remember their past and during the Chunin exams, as if he was being pulled into a trance. But he couldn't even imagine what it must be like for Ren, something so traumatic, at such a young age.

He hunted for her, through the darkness that was her mind right now, until finally, finally he was able to find her. She was stuck, deep in the darkest possible place inside her mind, accessing a memory that had been locked away, and it held her with an iron grip. He touched upon it, intending to drag her back out, but instead, was suddenly accessing it with her, and watched in horror as he suddenly saw through what must be her eyes as her father was cut down right in front of her.

He flinched, withdrawing for a moment. He went back in after a moment to gather himself together, and he approached her, going into that memory and seeing what she was seeing, and doing his best to shake her out of it. But no matter how he called to her, she was stuck, probably until the memory ran its course.

He continued to call for her, continued to support her physically as well as doing his best to let her know he was there for her mentally, and he simply resolved himself to experience it with her, sharing in her agony. He could feel tears falling from his eyes as he experienced all the terror, all the despair, all the pain, that she did, and his heart broke for her. As soon as it felt like the memory was coming to a close, after her mother had died, he called to her even more urgently, even physically shaking her to try and snap her out of it.

 **Ren POV**

"Ren! Ren! Snap out of it! Ren! Goddammit. REN!" A voice sounded through my head. I jerked, coming back to the present with a jolt.

I gasped, opening my eyes and looking around blearily, tears making everything blurry. I found myself crying pitifully, and unable to stop for a while. Gaara held me, gently rocking me as I sobbed. Eventually though, the gut-wrenching sobs died down to sniffles, and then hiccups, and finally I was left very stopped up in the nasal region.

I groaned. "Shiiiiiiiiit. Well that was... Damn." Sniffing pathetically and then coughing.

I sighed and leaned back into Gaara's supportive arms. "Are you okay?" He murmured, nuzzling his lips against my forehead.

"I…think so…" I murmured, feeling totally shaken, the pain still thrumming through me, and yet the repercussions weren't anything new. I'd woken up to these feelings before; I just hadn't ever remembered what had caused them. I groaned as I sat up, rubbing my head.

Gaara let me go, and as I stood shakily, he stood next to me, quickly in case I was unsteady. I took a deep breath and put all the papers back in the folder without looking at them again, and I carefully put it away in my bag.

I looked up at Gaara, noting the dried tears on his cheeks with some surprise. I reached up and touched the side of his face, tracing the slightly crusty path of a dried tear. "Were you crying?" I asked, concerned.

He slowly blinked, his eyes holding an impossible amount of sorrow and love in them, the depths of the compassion within them shocking me. _What happened while I was out of it?_

"I saw everything Ren, when I was trying to shake you out of it. I used our mental connection to try and retrieve you, but you…seemed to be stuck, and all I could do was watch. I'm so sorry." He bowed his head, a fresh tear traveling the path of the old ones on his cheeks.

I gasped, utterly stumped. I never expected for him to experience that with me, I never would have wished it on anyone, much less the man I loved. It was a horrible thing to witness, even if it wasn't your own memories. "Why are you apologizing? I wish you hadn't seen that…" at his wince I hurried to clarify, "Not that I'm upset at you for accidentally seeing it or anything! I just…it's a very unpleasant…thing. I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through it."

He looked up, his eyes soft, and a tiny bit exasperated. "I was apologizing for not being able to shake you out of it. And stop assuming that your pain is something that you should keep all to yourself. When you love someone, you want to know when they're hurting, so you can help, or at least offer comfort. So don't hide your pain from me Ren, because I love you so very, very much. Let me help you."

I blinked, and then blinked again, a few tears popping out of my eyes. "I…I don't know what to…say…" I whispered, totally mind-blown by Gaara's words.

He sighed, and lightly ran his fingers down my face, wiping his thumbs under my eyes to catch the few tears there lingering on my eyelashes. "Just say that you'll let me be your strength, at least sometimes. I know you're strong Ren, you're one of the strongest people I know. But sometimes, even the best of shinobi need someone to help bear their burdens. If you'd let me, I would happily bear the weight of all that hurt hidden away inside you."

I gasped, shuddering, my mind rebelling for a second. All the barriers I still had guarding my heart shook in protest, and then I sighed as his words broke through them like a wrecking ball made of his sand. "Okay…I'll…I'll try to let you in, and be my strength sometimes, when I need it. It's just tough for me…I don't…I've never, let myself rely on anyone else before. So it'll take some practice."

He smiled, a very gentle, loving ,tender smile, and it was so beautiful it made another tear pop out of my eye rebelliously. "Thank you Ren."

And then he leaned down and touched his lips to mine, kissing me gently. His lips were light against mine and then pulled back, over and over, a series of little soft kisses that made me melt inside. I sighed into the kiss and pressed my lips against his a little more firmly, prolonging it for a moment as I moved my mouth against his, not necessarily in a way that was meant to ramp up our desire, but rather meant to express my love and gratitude towards him. Our lips moved gently against each other's for a moment, and then we parted, and I hummed, feeling happy and content despite the lingering darkness hovering around me from the nightmarish experience I just had.

I smiled at him happily and then stepped away and sat in my chair. I looked up at him and grinned, "You should probably get back to work, Lord Kazekage."

He chuckled and walked back around his desk. After a moment I looked up, realizing something. "Oh, and I love you too. By the way."

He glanced up, his eyes a little startled by the sudden announcement, still not totally used to those words coming out of my mouth I supposed. He blinked and then grinned one of his small grins.

For the remainder of the day I kept feeling his gaze as he glanced up to check on me. His concern was touching, but despite feeling shaky and a little anxious, I was mostly okay. After all, I was the master of compartmentalizing my emotions. Of course that might not be such a great thing, now that I had to figure out how to talk to Gaara about my feelings. It meant I would have to go around digging for stuff, searching all the hundreds of little boxes in my brain to find the right emotion. But still, it was a skill that came in handy when dealing with the aftermaths of a nightmare, which was essentially what I had just experienced.

And yet, even for me, the day seemed to last forever, and by the time we dragged ourselves back up to our apartments, I was thoroughly ready for the day to be done.

I said goodnight to Gaara, ignoring the way his head swung around questioningly, and he gave me a curious look as I went into my own apartments. I knew he probably had expected me to follow him back to his apartment, but I didn't feel like any hanky-panky right now, and I kinda just wanted to be alone for a bit. All of the emotion from today had wiped me out, and I needed a little space to sort through everything.

The stuff with Gaara, after the nightmare, had been amazing. Even if I was daunted by the prospect of talking about things with him, his words still rung in my ears, sweet as music, and I smiled tenderly remembering them. The smile didn't last though, because even despite that brief wonderful moment today, the pain from my darkest memories still haunted me, and I still had a lot of shit to deal with.

I went into my apartment, heated up some leftovers, curled up on the couch to eat very slowly, and then got out the carton of ice cream. I dug in, thoroughly intending on eating myself some comfort in the form of calories and fat and sugar. I ate my way slowly and methodically into the carton, making a good sized dent in the contents, and after an hour or so it had melted too much for me to really appreciate it anymore, so I put it back in the freezer.

And then I went and stood in my bedroom, staring at my bed, as if it were a monster that was going to leap up and chomp on me. I grimaced, not about to go to bed, despite the bone-deep exhaustion I could feel dragging me down. The emotional trauma of the day had thoroughly wrung me out, but I knew my nightmares would be unholy tonight, and I was simply not willing to risk it.

I took a very hot shower, finding comfort in the heat. I walked back out of the bathroom in just my panties, a towel draped on my head, as I looked for my comfy big sleep shirt, not intending to actually sleep in it, but wanting to be comfortable as I did whatever I ended up doing. I'd probably just read all night or something.

So I was standing there, in just my underwear and a towel, when a waft of sand blew in. I turned around at the familiar sound, and gaped in astonishment as the familiar redhead took form within the little sand tornado. The sand went poof and Gaara was left standing there, in his pajama pants, sans shirt, looking for all the world like he popped in for a pajama party.

"Wha…wha…what the heck?!" I stuttered, having a kneejerk reaction to cover myself and I slapped my arms across my boobs. And then I realized that that was stupid and dropped my arms, putting my hands on my hips instead. He'd seen it all already. Well, maybe not the panties and my uppermost thighs, or the lower part of my hips, but that wasn't anything spectacular.

I was just very glad that I wasn't in the habit of wearing thongs.

I gave him a stern glare for popping in unannounced, a look that was thoroughly ignored since his eyes were much too busy memorizing my plain white panties. _Geez._ I sighed, and stopped glaring, because it wasn't doing me any good anyway. "So, what's up Gaara? Anything in particular you wanted? Or are you just dropping in to say hi?"

His eyes slid up my body and his, now very heated, gaze pinned me, and he smirked.

I thought about what I had just said and realized the way it sounded. I flushed a little and narrowed my gaze. "Stop smirking, that's not what I meant. I just meant to ask if there was any particular reason for your visit, like an attack to the village or something." And then I snorted taking in his clothing, or the lack thereof, and added, "Although based on your apparel, I would have to say that you're sorely unprepared for an attack. Unless that's a kunai knife stuck in your pants. But something tells me it's not."

Gaara's smirk widened just a smidge and then he wiped it off his face and assumed his normal blank facial expression, though his eyes still glittered with mirth, and he looked down at the very obvious tent in his pants. His dick had apparently gotten excited at the site of me in just my underwear, and was now pointing directly at me as if to say, ' _Hey looky there! Ren's almost naked!_ ' His stretchy pajama pants didn't give his erection very much support, I noted somewhat absentmindedly, unlike his other pants which had seemed to hold it upright against his stomach. And then I shook my head, finding my thoughts to be somewhat ridiculous.

Gaara looked back up from his groin and said, in that dead-pan way of his, "No, it's not a knife."

I blinked, and then chuckled. "I thought not." And then I looked around, still looking for my sleepshirt. "Hey, do you see my sleepshirt anywhere?"

Gaara slowly blinked, didn't bother to look around at all, and simply said. "No."

I tsked. "You didn't even look."

He just cocked his head a little to the side and the tiniest little smirk curled the corners of his lips.

I scowled. "You just like me to walk around naked." I accused, not really expecting a response and continued to look for my nightshirt.

"…yes."

I gasped and looked at him from over my shoulder, one arm under the bed as I was digging my sleepshirt out from under it. I knelt there awkwardly for a second, blinking up at him, shocked that he had actually responded, and then I snorted. "Pervert."

I finally got my shirt out from under the bed and slipped it on, hearing Gaara sigh somewhat mournfully. I just rolled my eyes at his nonsense. Although…if he wanted to walk around mostly naked all the time I certainly wouldn't complain. I definitely enjoyed the way he seemed to be going around without a shirt more and more in my presence at night. That was certainly a treat.

I walked by him, chuckling, as I made my way to the couch, where I curled up a little, picking up a book from the little table next to the couch. "Well, you're welcome to stay if you want." I murmured as I picked up where I left off. I was currently reading a book on the histories of various powerful wind chakra users and how they developed their jutsus and such. It was interesting, not only because of the information I was gathering, but I also enjoyed reading the stories about the different people. I might have to take up reading novels or something in my spare time.

"Aren't you going to bed? It's quite late."

I glanced up at Gaara's voice, and was momentarily derailed from my train of thought by the way he was leaning lazily on the doorframe to my bedroom. The pose, his arms crossed over his chest, one shoulder leaned against the doorway, his hip cocked out a little, was so…well…kind of hot in a weird way. Although that might have to do with the fact that he was simply very attractive, and wasn't wearing a shirt.

I blinked, shaking my mind from focusing on those lovely muscles of his and turned my eyes back to the page of my book. "No." I said simply.

"No?" He rumbled, sounding a little peeved. After a moment he added on tensely. "You need to sleep Ren. Were you planning on staying up all night?"

"Yes." I decided to take a leaf out of his book and say as little as possible for the time being. I wasn't sure what had gotten him so riled up, but apparently the thought of me not sleeping bothered him a lot.

He growled and stalked over to me, standing right in front of me now. "You should sleep. Especially after today. I can sense how low your chakra is from exhaustion."

I sighed, put the book down and looked up at him, doing my best to ignore all that naked skin of his. "Look. I don't want to sleep because I know from experience that I will be having really, really bad nightmares if I do. I already had one nightmare today, and it was while I was awake. I don't want to get stuck in another."

His eyes softened. "Isn't that why we decided to sleep together?"

I blinked, almost having forgotten about that. "Oh. Right. So is that why you popped over here all ready for bed?"

He nodded, looking amused and exasperated by my obvious memory lapse.

"So…you're serious about this? About actually sleeping together every night?" I questioned, still finding it incredibly daunting.

He sighed. "Yes Ren."

"Wow. Okay then." I blinked, thrown a little.

After a minute or so of my blank staring, Gaara shifted. "Ren?" He rumbled.

"Hm?" I blinked up at him.

"Come to bed." He said without any inflection, and yet a zing went through me at the words. I ignored it. And I ignored Kitty, who was fussy and very much awakened by those words.

"I would really rather not sleep tonight Gaara." I protested, feeling fear creep up on me.

"Because of the nightmares?"

I nodded.

"There's nothing to be afraid of Ren. I'll be there remember? I'll wake you up as soon as you start having one."

"But how will you know?" I protested.

He sighed. Again. "You talk in your sleep remember? And you move around."

"I'm sure I don't talk the whole time though. It's not like I'm going to announce, ' _I'm having a nightmare now!_ " I grumbled and bobbed my head side to side sarcastically for emphasis as I spoke.

"You make all sorts of sounds. As soon as you sound distressed I will wake you."

I wasn't sure what to make of that information. But my main fear now was something quite different. "But what if…you can't wake me up…what if I get stuck again?" I whispered.

"You won't." He rasped, sounding very sure about it.

"How do you know?"

"Because I've experienced similar lapses into memory, and the way you get stuck there. For me, as soon as I acknowledged them, I didn't get stuck anymore."

"When did you…?"

"The Chunin Exams. And also when I remembered our shared past."

I blinked. "Oh. No wonder you were so spacy and freaky during the Chunin exams."

"Indeed."

I heaved a sigh. Gaara began to walk towards the bedroom and I hesitantly got up and followed him, really not sure about this at all.

Gaara saw my hesitation and simply said, "Trust me Ren. Please."

I sucked in my breath. _So that's what it boils down to. Trust. Not really something I'm very good at. At all._

The funny thing was, I already did trust him. I trusted him with my life. And yet, when it came to stuff like this, I found myself struggling. Which was so strange really, when I thought about it like that. I took a deep breath, and decided to go for it. I would just have to trust him, and let him be in charge of fishing me out if I went under. _Sheesh, this is scarier than I would've thought._

"Alright. I'll…try." I winced. "I mean I do trust you! It's just…with this sort of thing…I don't really…have a lot of experience."

He nodded, his eyes soft and understanding, and he slid under my covers. I nodded, biting my lip, and did the same on my side of the bed, and the lights went out. _That sand of his sure is handy_. I couldn't help but think, distracting myself a little from my fear.

I lay stiffly for a while, having trouble going to sleep, and yet feeling the exhaustion dragging me down. The fight put my teeth on edge, and while my body struggled to sleep, I automatically struggled to not sleep, from habit, and yet my mind actively tried to make me sleep. It was stressful.

Gaara must have been able to feel it, because after a while of struggling with myself, my body, and my habits, he heaved a big sigh and I felt the bed shifting as he moved. I yelped as his arm banded around my waist and dragged me back against him, my back braced up securely against his warm chest. His face nuzzled into the hair at the nape of my neck and I felt his lips press there, lightly.

"Go to sleep Ren." He whispered softly.

His body heat, which was intense as always, his even breathing, and even just having him there pressed up against me, helped to sooth my frazzled nerves, and I began to breathe easier, more deeply. His sandy, spicy, warm scent surrounded me, and I could feel some things wake up a little down south, but mostly it was just really comforting, and so I slowly sank into sleep, feeling relatively okay about it.

Naturally as soon as I dipped down, I could feel the darkness tugging at me, smell the blood, feel the pain, and no sooner had I glimpsed the foggy scene from the nightmare I knew had actually been reality, than I was being pulled out of it. And a little roughly too.

I snorted, "Wha…?" And the shaking stopped.

Gaara had bounced his whole body against me, shaking the whole bed, and thoroughly jostling me. "Nightmare." He said simply.

"Oh. Thanks." I mumbled sleepily, not having dipped deep enough to be disturbed. I drifted for a while, sleeping very lightly, and then tumbled down into some lighter dreams, the normal fare, simple nonsense, a jumble of normal daily activities, nothing special. Then it started to grow dark again, a faint tinge of coppery smell wafting through my weird dream of eating rainbow colored ramen. The colors leaked away, and things grew murky. I could taste a very familiar metallic flavor on my tongue. And then the once lighthearted dream abruptly went pitch black as a saw-like blade came down on top of me. The scent of blood pierced the air, and I cried out at the spray of crimson fluid.

I yelped, jerking out of the dream to a strange sharp pain. "What the…?!" I sputtered, and Gaara's teeth released my ear.

"Awake?" His voice rasped through the darkness of the bedroom.

"Yuhuh!" I said, a little shocked by his choice of methodology for waking me up.

"Good." He nuzzled back into me and kissed the back of my neck, almost apologetically.

I huffed and settled back down into my pillow, wondering if this was going to become a regular occurrence.

I fell back asleep, and dreamed more normal dreams for a while. As soon as my dreams began to grow a little dark, I was woken yet again, this time a little more gently with kisses. I wasn't completely woken up either, only until I came out of the darkness, but not fully out of the dream, and then I was let go and went back to sleep. The hand that had been holding my face to the side for kisses relaxed and let my cheek hit the pillow.

 **Gaara POV**

He lay next to her and waited, going into a very light meditative trance instead of his deeper sleep substitute, because he knew tonight especially was going to be very difficult for her. And sure enough, no more than ten minutes passed, before she twitched against him, curling into herself and whimpering.

He waited just a second, and at the second whimper he jostled her briskly, knowing from the few times he had slept with her that the first one always seemed to be the worst. He had figured out after the second or third time that if he was able to knock her out of that cycle with the first one, then the rest of the night seemed to pass easier. He bounced around, shaking the whole bed until she startled and woke with a loud snort. He had to hold back a laugh at the awkward sound.

She went back to sleep, and this time it seemed that she finally found some normal dreams. Her body twitched occasionally, and she mumbled nonsense, and for a while he listened in, finding it highly amusing. A large majority of it was not of any language he could decipher, and sounded like gibberish, but occasionally she would say something more clearly, and sometimes it would be so ridiculous that he couldn't hold back the laughter, but made sure to keep it quiet.

At one point she stiffened, and he grew alert, making sure she wasn't going into another nightmare, when she almost excitedly exclaimed, "OH look! It's a _bear_!" He blinked, bemused, wondering if he should wake her up. And then that thought was snuffed when she added, "And it's PINK!"

He buried his face into the pillow to hide his snickers and pulled away just enough that his shaking body didn't jostle her. After he had managed to pull himself together, he very gently hugged her back to his chest and she sighed. The sound was so peaceful that almost immediately a purr started up in his chest.

Unknown to her, at least as far as he knew, he had found himself purring almost every night that he slept with her, and strangely the sound seemed to sooth her. It was a tad odd to him, even after the occurrence had happened a few times now, but he couldn't really help it, and it seemed to comfort her, so he didn't bother with thinking about it too much.

Shortly after that, she tensed again, this time definitely in a worrisome manner and he snapped to attention. Her breathing shifted, and then hitched, and then a tiny distressed sound came out of her throat, and then a full cry. It happened so quickly that Gaara did the first thing that came to mind, which was still fuzzy from his version of sleep, and so his teeth bit into her ear. And not particularly gently. She yelped and woke almost immediately and he blinked, surprised by the efficiency of that tactic. Even the jostling hadn't woken her that fast. He smirked just a tad, finding himself only too happy to tuck that knowledge away.

He had quickly found that she seemed to have two different sleep patterns when it came to nightmares. This had been one of the fast ones that seemed to come out of nowhere and had her violently responding right away, and for those, he did his best to wake her as quickly as possible.

After a while, he could sense her going into the second kind of nightmare, the kind that came on slowly. She seemed to gradually become agitated, her body twitching a little more often, and he once again came to attention, noting the way her breathing was picking up. At the first small sound of distress he tucked his hand under her cheek and tilted her face up a little, as he leaned over her shoulder to kiss her gently. He placed small kisses over her face and neck, and slowly she seemed to settle down, waking up a little from the nightmare. Once she had stopped making those sounds, and was instead tilting her face more towards his to receive his kisses, he let her cheek rest gently back on the pillow, and once again she sighed with contentment. He felt a soft smile tug gently at his mouth.

He had found that he could sense some of her nightmares coming on long before they seemed to hit a peak, because she would very slowly grow more and more agitated, making tiny soft distressed sounds in her throat, and before that, her breathing would become more rapid. Pressed up close to her as he was, he could also feel her heartbeat get just a little faster as well. That kind of nightmare seemed to escalate slowly, so he tried to wake her up just enough to knock her out of the bad dream. And it seemed to work because she would apparently to go right back into more peaceful sleep.

Eventually, he was able to get into a deeper meditative state, once she seemed to hit that dreamless place where she rested peacefully. He had found if he could just get her there, then they could both sleep for the rest of the night mostly peacefully, and he knew that even if she did have another nightmare he would wake instantly.

 **Ren POV**

And so the night progressed. I had some fuzzy dreams, and some indistinct impressions of warm kisses off and on throughout the night, of which I didn't bother to try and make sense out of. And the few times I suddenly found myself in a true nightmare, I was woken sharply and abruptly, usually with either teeth or by shaking. But mostly with teeth.

When I woke the next morning, my first thought was that Gaara had a biting fetish to go along with his choking fetish.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

About chapter 52:

Okay, so before anyone says… "That's totally unrealistic!" I have two points to make.

1: This is called PTSD, maybe a bit exaggerated, or majorly exaggerated, but seriously, people can get stuck in a memory.

2: This is how it's shown in the anime, just think, anyone remember Gaara's flashback issues during the Chunin exam arc? This is like that.

And yes, I know lots of people would get it without me explaining, but I just wanted to preempt any complaints. But anyway, it was time for a little character development, and a little less smut. Unfortunately. It can't be all sex all the time, although god knows Gaara and Ren deserve it after everything they've gone through to get here.

I hope the fluffy stuff in the second chapter made up for the trauma. Oh, and take note of her mother's sword in the dream.


	74. Burn With Me: Chapter 54 & 55

I woke the next day, a tad groggy, but mostly I felt surprisingly well-rested. I was curled on my side, almost in exactly the same position I had fallen asleep, and once again, I found myself bemused and a little surprised by it, because that rarely happened. Unless I was sleeping with Gaara, apparently. Usually I was so all over the bed, that I woke in a tangled mass of covers, and sometimes with my head at the foot. But it seemed that whenever I slept with Gaara, I stayed pretty much where I was put. The only thing I could figure was that Gaara must run interference in the night, and probably waged war with my cantankerous sleeping self. I felt a little guilt surge through me, and then that disappeared in a puff of amusement as I tried to picture it.

A stupid thought flashed across my still sleepy mind, of Gaara pulling out his Sand Coffin Jutsu on my thrashing limbs, and I sputtered in drowsy laughter.

I sighed, stretched, and yawned, feeling pretty good about the day. Yesterday had been rough, but it seemed that it had helped to clean up even more of that stupid shit gumming up the works in my mind, and I felt a little lighter because of it. I had no idea that having those suppressed memories had been weighing me down so much.

I rolled over and saw that Gaara was still asleep, or else in his meditative trance, his arm still loosely draped around me. Actually it looked like he was asleep. Poor thing, he must have been up all night running intervention for me. Curious, I glanced down, and yes, through the covers I could see a bump, indicating his morning wood. I smirked. No wonder I had missed it under the covers.

I got out of bed, very carefully, so as to not disturb Gaara if he was actually asleep. I had to slide out from under his arm, which was a little awkward, but I managed. I stretched, feeling my muscles pull. Sighing, I realized I should probably go train, but instead of that, for the moment I simply dropped to the floor and did 50 pushups, and then 50 sit-ups, and then 50 squats, after which I felt rather hungry and ready for breakfast. I normally didn't do that sort of thing when I first got up, but I knew I wouldn't have time for it later. Yesterday I had seen the schedule for today and noted that there was going to be a big council meeting, and it was probably going to be one of those stupid things that lasted forever and a day.

I took a brisk shower, glad that mine was a normal one and not nearly as fancy, and complicated, as the one in Gaara's rooms next door. Of course that was the Kazekage's designated apartments, so naturally it would be super fancy. I trotted out in my towel, noting the way Gaara's eyes were open now.

I grinned at him. "So, finally decided to wake up, did you?"

"I was awake for all the huffing and puffing." He said a little sardonically in that dry way of his.

I grinned a little wider. "Good for you!"

He snorted. "You're cheerful this morning."

"All thanks to you! I had a good night's sleep."

He smiled, beautifully, and as always my breath stopped for a moment. I blinked and shook myself out of being Gaara-struck, and went over to my dresser to look for my clothes. I grabbed my shirt, and pants, and turned to drop the pile onto the bed on top of my breast bandages that I had already put there. I rustled through the pile and realized that I had forgotten underwear, so turned again and grabbed a pair from my drawer, not bothering to look at it. I was so immersed in my dressing routine that I didn't hesitate to unwrap the towel from around me and fling it off to land somewhere on the floor.

I was abruptly reminded that Gaara was in the room when I heard him choking on a really big gasp. I flushed, realizing I was naked for the first time in his presence. I briefly wondered if I should be embarrassed, and then surprisingly decided that it wasn't really that big of a deal. I didn't really consider my ass as particularly special, and I glanced over my shoulder and stared down a bit in bemusement at my bare cheeks. I contemplated them for a second, and then glanced up to see Gaara's expression.

His eyes were open wide, his mouth hanging open, his cheeks pink, and I grinned, flattered. I was blushing too, from the self-consciousness that I still experienced, though it was relatively mild considering how shy I had been at the start of our relationship. I snorted at his shocked face, and then laughed when his eyes flew up to meet mine.

I turned, holding the underwear loosely in my hand, and grinned at him, cocking my head to the side and watching as his eyes went from my face back down my body and landed at the brown tangle of curls totally masking anything interesting in my pubic region. For which I was very, very grateful, because that was still definitely not something I wanted him to see. I was pretty much fine with his eyeballing the rest of my body, but that part was still…way too intimate for him to be looking at. Actually, I wasn't even sure what it looked like, I mean I had seen it from the top, but I wasn't really sure how to go about looking at it head-on, the way he would see it.

 **Gaara POV**

When she had first tossed the towel aside he had already been watching her, entranced by the idea of her being naked under there. And so, for her body to be abruptly, and almost casually revealed like that, it took him a second to believe it, a second in which he choked on the saliva he had accidently sucked into his lungs. He had seen her mostly naked last night for the first time, in just her underwear, and that had been arousing enough, but to now see her utterly unclothed, he found most of his blood rushing from one head to another. The abrupt blood loss up top had him feeling a tad dizzy for a moment.

He stared in shock and mounting lust at her ass for the first time. And it wasn't just her ass that had him abruptly unable to speak, but it was also the totality of her utterly unclothed skin. Somehow, to see her completely naked was different from her being mostly naked. To be able to gaze on the warm skin from her neck all the way down to her feet without having the view interrupted by any sort of line of cloth was intoxicating. But naturally he found his eyes remaining mostly on the parts of her he hadn't seen before. He decided he could probably happily stare at her ass all day, if she let him, much like he could her breasts. Really, there wasn't a single part of her he wouldn't enjoy looking at for long periods of time. Even her scars didn't deter him, he didn't find them ugly at all, but beautiful as he had told her before.

As he took in her entire naked backside, from heels to the top of her head, he had to wonder how the hell he had been so lucky to have been blessed with such a beautiful being in his life. She was perfect, strong shoulders, lean muscular arms, a back that had graceful muscles carved into it, a waist that dipped in an hourglass figure, wide hips, a wonderful ass that was curved just the right amount and still managed to retain a tad of softness despite the muscles built from being a ninja, and long shapely legs. As ninja, perhaps Kunoichi bodies tended to be less curvy and soft than most women, but he found her sleek warrior's body to still have plenty of curves for him.

He couldn't imagine that he deserved her. He hadn't exactly been an angel, in fact most of his life had been spent as a demon. And yet, looking at her, he could easily believe that she was an angel, if he were in the habit of shallowly judging angelicness by looks alone. He somewhat absentmindedly thought, in a very dumbstruck part of his mind, that with the particularly thick scars on her shoulder blades she even looked more like an angel, one whose wings had been cruelly ripped away from her.

When she laughed he was shocked, expecting her to become thoroughly embarrassed at realizing she had shed her towel in front of him. He looked up to her face, and saw that though she was blushing as he had expected, her eyes were glittering with a teasing light, and she surprisingly seemed mostly comfortable about her nudity. And then she turned, utterly unbashful, though the flush in her cheeks darkened a tad, and his gaze once again swept her body. Her front was just as beautiful as her back. Those strong shoulders did a good job of holding up her soft breasts. She didn't have a huge chest by any means, but they were still ample, and he personally felt that they were the perfect size and fit for his hands. Her stomach was muscular, but not as obviously ridged as his was. The muscles in her hips and lower abdomen led his eyes to a patch of curly brown hair, a tad darker than the hair on her head, located right between her thighs. Irritatingly he couldn't see anything of what lay between her legs, no matter how hard he looked.

 **Ren POV**

I shook myself from my musings, and bowed a little grinning. "Thank you, I'll be here all night every night." I said jokingly, as if I was a performer, and then added, "Apparently," referencing our discussion about sleeping together every night.

Gaara laughed, or tried to, but it came out a bit garbled, his raspy, choked off chuckle kind of cute in a weirdly hot way.

"Are you okay?" I inquired, cocking my head to the other side.

He nodded, still looking me up and down.

"You sure? You're not having a stroke or something are you?"

He nodded and then shook his head.

I shrugged. "Okay. If you say so."

I shook out my underwear without looking at it or paying much attention to it and bent to slip it on, saying, "I don't really see the big deal. I mean you've seen me in my underwear before, this isn't that much different."

I stood back up and then stared down in disgust, putting my hands on my hips. "Oh for the love of…how did these get in my drawer? I must have accidently gotten them mixed in with the rest." I sighed, wondering if I should take off the red silk undies that were so much briefer than I usually wore, and then decided just to leave them alone. "The twins just love to go shopping, and I swear they find the most ridiculous things sometimes. I'm probably going to just throw these away, they're so weird."

"They look good." Came Gaara's very gravelly voice from the bed.

I glanced up, took in his lusty gaze, and snorted. "You really like red don't you?"

He nodded.

I sighed and started wrapping my bindings around my chest as he watched, fascinated. I saw him wince.

"That looks incredibly uncomfortable."

I chuckled. "I believe we've already discussed this Gaara." I said, tucking in the ends.

"True."

I shrugged. "It's really not that bad. I guess I'm just used to it by now."

He nodded and got out of bed as I pulled on my pants and then my shirt. "I'm going to take a very fast…shower." He mumbled and I glanced up as the bathroom door shut, smirking. I had a good idea I knew what he was going to do, and I quickly discovered that silk underwear was not nearly as good at absorbing that stupid fluid I produced, as I quickly got a little excited at the thought of Gaara doing that in my shower.

I rolled my eyes and walked into my kitchenette as Gaara's aroused scent increased. I was all ready and didn't want to have to go to the trouble of putting on fresh underwear at this point. I quickly scrounged together breakfast and then heard Gaara say from the bedroom that he would meet me in the hallway. I felt his chakra fluctuate and heard the telltale sound of his sand as it transported him back over to his apartment.

I finished eating and strapped on all my armor and weapons, exiting my door. I was there for less than a minute, and Gaara came walking out of his door, all dressed in that red coat and ready to go. As always, I admired the way his coat flared around his legs as he took long strides towards me. I took up my position right behind him and we made our way down to the second floor. He stopped in his office to grab some documents, which Matsuri already had ready and laid out for him, and we made our way to the council chambers.

He sat, I stood behind him, and all the other councilmembers filed in. Today's meeting was about some very serious business, mainly the Akatsuki and what they were up to. We had been monitoring them closely, and today's meeting was dedicated to covering our regular update on their activity and whereabouts.

"Well, another member was killed. Itachi Uchiha."

"So that brings us down to five correct?" Kankuro asked, taking notes. He had recently gotten onto the council, after Gaara's kidnapping.

"Indeed."

"How was this one killed?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

I shared a look with Gaara. "That means that the Leaf Village will be all over his one." Kankuro noted, on the same train of thought as us.

"Yes. Unfortunately, there is also unpleasant news."

"What?"

"The six-tail has been captured."

Everyone hissed.

"So that only leaves another three, and then they have all nine. Or parts of all nine. They still lack half of Shukaku's power."

I hesitated, normally staying silent during these meetings, but in this case I probably should speak up, since I'd been the only one there. "The leader said something about it being enough for now and coming back for the rest later." I inserted into the conversation.

All eyes turned to me and I was mostly unaffected, although I never liked being the center of attention in general. Unless it helped to scare off fangirls of course.

"When was this?" One stuffy older councilmember asked almost aggressively.

"When I rescued Gaara." I responded, a little irritated because I would have thought that would be obvious.

Suddenly everyone got all sorts of tense. "Why hasn't a report been filed of this mission?"

"This is a serious lapse."

"Why have you not addressed the council before about this?"

Gaara stepped in. "The file is classified as top secret, and for all intents and purposes does not exist."

"Because she didn't file a report?" Elder Hitachiin asked. She was the matriarch of my clan, and I could detect the teasing note in her voice. She was making fun of the other councilmembers. She didn't attend all the meetings, since technically she was an elder and not a councilmember, but whenever she did, it livened the meetings up substantially.

"She did. It is in the file." Gaara affirmed.

"Indeed." Elder Hitachiin said smugly, happy about having settled the dispute.

"Well at any rate, she has information that could be quite useful to us now, so she should address the council." One of the councilmembers said snottily.

"Well, she's right there. Why don't you ask her if she's willing to tell us what happened? Eh?" Elder Hitachiin asked, raising her monocle to her eye and glaring at the guy through it.

"Politely. We should keep the proceedings…civil." Gaara added, with extreme social grace and yet an edge to it that said he was not pleased with the way the guy had addressed me as if I wasn't there.

Another councilmember spoke up, hushing the befuddled councilmember who was sulking anyway, so it didn't really matter. "Ren. Would you please tell us what happened, and include any information, or details that you can remember that will help us to ascertain what we should expect from the Akatsuki."

I nodded and stepped out from behind Gaara's chair, neatly hopped over the table, and stood in the center of the room so I could look at everyone, and everyone could see and hear me plainly. "Very well." I swiveled my gaze around and asked the room in general, "Do you want to hear a full account, or simply the small details I picked up about the Akatsuki?"

"A full account if you please."

I nodded. This wasn't going to be super fun. "At what point should I start?"

"Right after I passed out." Gaara rasped from his position at the head of the arched table.

I glanced at Gaara. _Oh shit._

The entire council cringed, remembering _that_ series of incidents. "Right. Well. You were caught by that big white bird and flown out of the village." I addressed Gaara and then turned to the rest of the council. "And then I…well…ehheheh…" I trailed off, rubbing my neck a little uncomfortably.

"You lost it, screamed bloody murder, cussed us all out, whipped us into shape, and arranged for everything to be taken care of while we went after Gaara." Kankuro said shrugging.

I glared at him. "I did not cuss you all out. I was just very…firm."

"That's one way to put it." I heard someone mutter.

"She's scary." Another one whispered.

"Yeah, just as scary as Lord Gaara."

Lady Hitachiin brought her cane down with a bang. "You were a strong leader who wanted to get our Kazekage back, which is exactly what you did, and you weren't going to take any bullshit. Bravo girl. Now get back to your story."

Everyone shut up.

I snorted, and Gaara's lips curled just a little.

"Okay so. Yeah. I addressed the council before Kankuro and I left. We intercepted the kidnappers."

I noted Gaara paying rapt attention, and realized that the file had been so classified that even he hadn't read it. _Oh boy._ This was going to be tough, to talk about everything we went through to get him back. I took a deep breath and shared a look with Kankuro. He grimaced, not too excited about this either. After all, he had gone and almost gotten himself killed.

I restarted. "Actually, I should mention, before we even got to the kidnappers, the entrance was booby-trapped. I'm sure everyone remembers that."

They all nodded.

"Yep so. Big mess. Moving on." Several people snorted in amusement and the atmosphere relaxed a little. Most of the councilmembers had been replaced, and now only a few old grumpy farts still actively tried to oppose Gaara. It was much easier to address them now, that was for sure. "So, Kankuro and I came up on the kidnappers. The puppet master Sasori went after Kankuro right away, and they battled. Meanwhile Deidara flew off with Gaara and I ran after him."

"Kankuro, could you please say what happened?" Someone asked, and turned to look at him.

"I'd rather not." He responded a tad sullenly.

Everyone chuckled.

"He was hospitalized with a bad case of poisoning." I helped him out, in the same way he had helped me out earlier. He grumbled, sulking a little. "So I went after Deidara. I took down that big bird, and…"

Someone interrupted me. "How exactly?"

"I cut off its wing." I shrugged. I saw Gaara blink.

"Well, why didn't you do that to start off with?" One of the stuffy farts asked grumpily.

"I wasn't pissed off enough." There was some laughter, and a few cringes as they all remembered what I was like when I got so mad. "May I continue?"

They nodded. "All right then. So I took down the bird. Deidara and I got into a skirmish. And then…Well Sasori was a bit of a jackass, does anyone mind if I say that?" I tried to lighten the mood some with humor, since I knew Gaara was not going to like the next bit. There were some chuckles.

"Not at all!" Kankuro piped up loudly, and the laughter increased.

"So yeah…" I glanced at Gaara. "Sasori came up behind me and got me in the back with that stupid poison tail of his. So they got away. Again. Which was really annoying."

"So how did you survive it? I mean it nearly killed me!" Kankuro asked, all insulted.

"Uh. Kitty apparently can siphon out poisons from the bloodstream. Who knew."

"Damn." He huffed.

"Kitty?" Someone asked.

"Kitty…" I tapped my noggin and I heard a few sounds of acknowledgement.

"You mean that demon inside of you?" A snotty old councilmember grouched, apparently trying to rile me up.

"Yes. The demon that gave her enough power to rescue Gaara." Kankuro said.

"Moving on!" I said, feeling the tensions rising. "So I followed them. By the time I got there they had had him for one and a half days. And they got half of Shukaku's chakra, so that means that with however many there were then, was it eight or nine?" I tried to remember and couldn't. "Anyway, it would have taken three days. So that's information we can use."

"Indeed."

I continued. "They were in a cave. So I hopped up on the roof and went in through the ceiling. I dropped down there and…" I cringed not really wanting to describe what I saw.

"Go on."

I took a deep breath. "Gaara was floating in a big blue ball of chakra, with Shukaku getting drained. And there was this huge statue, the Akatsuki were standing on its fingertips. It was mostly below the ground, you could only see from about here up…" I gestured to my chest level. "But it was big, and if there _was_ a full body under the ground, that could be a big trump card for the Akatsuki. It had tons of eyes. And it seemed to be eating the chakra they were getting out of Gaara. So maybe they're trying to power up this big statue thing?"

"Hm. That is indeed troubling." One person said.

"So how did you free him?" Another asked.

"Well…I let Kitty out of the bag." I sort of shrugged, getting a little uncomfortable.

"Meaning…?" Someone else asked.

"I took Kitty's form. And it's pretty big. They cut off the jutsu, and I caught Gaara. That's when they started talking about how they had enough of his chakra and could come back later for the rest. Then I took out the ceiling of the cave and got out of there. That's when the leaf ninja took over. They defeated the Akatsuki and I took Gaara to safety."

"And you said that he had had half of Shukaku removed by then?" Another council member inquire. They were sure getting inquisitive.

"Yes." I confirmed.

"That should have killed him!" Some idiot exclaimed.

"It nearly did." I huffed, putting my hands on my hips. "When I finally got him to a safe spot and had resumed my usual form, his chakra had gotten super unstable and had dropped to 1 percent…maybe. Probably below that. He was very, very close to being dead."

"Then how did he survive?" Someone else asked, and there were eager sounds all around the table at the question. I was sure everyone wanted to confirm what they had heard from the gossip mill.

"You probably already heard the stories about that…" I mumbled, not really wanting to go over that part.

"Yes, but none of them knew exactly how you managed to keep him alive for an hour until help arrived."

"It was an hour? Really?" I asked, amazed. Strangely I didn't know if it had felt longer, or if it had felt shorter.

"Approximately."

I sighed and tried to just gloss over it. "I just…channeled my chakra into his network to keep him alive. That's all I did."

"But you had already fought the battle here, had been poisoned, walked for a day and a half through the desert, and come out of another battle. How did you have any chakra left yourself?"

 _Good god, they sure are like to pry._ "I took a chakra pill before I went into the cave." I mumbled.

Everyone sucked in a breath. "That is extremely dangerous!"

"I know. It was the only way at the time. My priority was getting the Kazekage back." I huffed, looking off to the side.

"The pill should have worn off by then though, when you were keeping him alive."

 _Why are they still going on about this? It has nothing to do with the Akatsuki! Nosy bastards…_ "Yes it did. And it had consequences. I ran out of chakra. The only reason I survived was because of Kitty. And Sakura. But none of this pertains to the Akatsuki." I finally pointed out, getting fed up with the inquisition.

 _ **You're welcome.**_ Kitty inserted a little smugly.

I snorted. _Yes. Thank you._

She grinned and took a nap.

"I see. It's a good thing you had her with you then." Someone said.

"Yeah." I agreed.

 **Chapter 55**

 **There will be lemons in here, just so ya know. I'll warn you when we get to them.**

 **Gaara POV**

As Ren told her story, and he heard for the first time everything that had happened, he experienced a surge of emotions so strong he found himself struggling to contain them all. Listening to all the obstacles she had overcome, all the physical harm she had endured and the emotional pain she must have felt, it made him hurt inside. Once again, it was as if he felt an echo of her own pain, perhaps a shadow of the physical and emotional injuries she had suffered as his chest ached.

And yet, even as his heart hurt for her, and he experienced a surge of horror and terror as he heard just how close she had come to death, he also felt a warmth in his chest begin to burn. The shock and awe he felt began to grow as he listened to the lengths she had gone to save him. He felt immense pride welling up inside of him, as he listened to how she fought for him, her strength apparent in the story.

His love for her was an enormous lump of burning coal in his gut, the heat increasing moment by moment as he heard the tale she wove, her love for him achingly obvious in every detail she reluctantly added. The fact that she would go so far for him, that she was willing to trade her life for his, it terrified him, and yet it also made his mind go numb with wonder at her devotion. If possible, he only fell more deeply in love with her.

But he simply couldn't help the rage and pain he felt at her glossed over account of the injuries she had suffered, and he had the intense urge to go out and find the ones that had hurt her, so that he could crush them. Of course they were dead, so that could prove to be a challenge.

 **Ren POV**

I finally looked at Gaara, having mostly avoided his gaze as I told my story, and I was glad I had, because now as I looked into his eyes I could see the tightness there, the carefully controlled pain. I grimaced, knowing it hadn't been easy for him to hear that I had nearly killed myself trying to save him, even if he had already known about it.

I was done and so I retook my place behind him. The council adjourned a few hours later, after even more business was taken care of. I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the stuff that was talked about during the meeting, because all my attention was taken up by Gaara. I could feel the tension radiating from him, and I knew he was much more upset than he actually looked.

After the council meeting was adjourned we went into the office and I barely had a chance to hear the lock click before I was pushed up against the door and held there by Gaara's weight. His hands bracketed my face and his intense pale gaze hit me like a ton of boulders. He sighed against my lips, pressing his to mine fully and without reservation. I gasped, surprised by the sudden assault, but quickly relaxed into the burning kiss.

It was brief, and intense, and put everything he was feeling strait from his mouth to mine without any words being spoken. I could feel his pain, the tension keeping his lips taught and pressing hard against mine at first, but then he slowly relaxed from the agitation he had worked up, and his mouth softened against mine. His lips gentled, and his tongue delicately licked the seam of my mouth to say he was sorry for being so rough. I accepted his apology, and his tongue into my mouth, and the kiss deepened, becoming achingly tender and warm. Then, just as he finally relaxed and the kiss sweetened, he pulled away, sighing again.

I blinked.

He walked to his desk, running his fingers through his hair, which I had never seen him do before. It was an action that was surprisingly sensual, even though I knew it was from aggravation and belated fear for my health that had worked him up to that point.

I huffed and sat in my chair, a tad heavily. "So…did that help?" I asked, quirking my lips a little in amusement

"Hm?" He did his sound and glanced up from his paperwork, having already sat down.

I chuckled. "I'm just teasing you. Seriously though, try not to be so upset. It's not like I was trying to get myself killed or anything. I have a very strong survival instinct you know."

"I know." He sighed and then said stoically, and with a good dose of his sardonic humor, "After all, I never was able to kill you. No matter how many times I tried."

I snorted. "You never actually _tried_ to kill me. You just threatened a lot."

"True."

And so Gaara worked some more, and I read in my scroll for a while. Then, after an hour or so of sitting and reading, I did some stretches and basic exercises, nothing very strenuous, but just enough to get the blood flowing. I was finding more and more that the longer I sat, the stiffer I got, so I'd gotten into the habit of stretching and exercising periodically to keep me limber and strong.

I had taken my skirt off for ease of movement, and bent over to touch my toes, my back to Gaara so that if anyone actually tried coming through the door to attack him, I would be facing the doorway. I rose onto my toes, pointing my feet as much as possible while placing my hands flat to the ground. I held that position for a moment, feeling my legs protesting.

After a moment I heard a sigh and the click of a pen being put down, and then Gaara's somewhat strained voice said, "Ren…"

"Hm?" I did my version of the Gaara sound and spread my legs a little so I could make eye contact with him, while still holding the stretch, by looking at him through my legs. His head was on his hand and he had put down his pen, as I had heard, and he was staring at me with a funny mix of strained amusement, exasperation, and affection. I blinked at him, confused, and cocked my head to the side, which leaned one ear against a leg. I gave him a questioning glance.

When he didn't respond right away I dropped my heels to the ground to get a better calf stretch and grimaced. His lips twitched at my funny expression. After a second of holding that I pointed my toes again and brought my legs smoothly up into a handstand and my shirt slid down my stomach a little.

"What is it Gaara?" I questioned, after still not getting a response.

He heaved a sigh. "Do you have any idea how distracting you are when you do that?"

"Um…a handstand?" I asked, not entirely sure what he was talking about.

"Stretching." He clarified.

"Oh I'm sorry…I didn't realize I was distracting you…" I said, and tilted my feet down behind me, going into a back bend. I was intending on standing and going back to my chair so I wouldn't distract him, but I paused for a second, still in a backbend. "Distracting how? Is it the movement that catches your attention? Because I could do static poses."

He heaved another sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting one eye and glaring at me exasperatedly from the other. I got the feeling that he'd gotten that particular expression from me. I wasn't really sure what I had done to deserve that particular look.

"What?" I protested and came up out of the backbend, standing easily as I tightened my core muscles. I turned and cocked my hip, putting a hand on it, and gave him a look of my own.

"You have no idea what exactly you do to me, do you?" He questioned sardonically, almost glaring at me, but in an amused, if exasperated, way.

"What I do to you?" I questioned, almost offended. I wasn't sure what he meant by that.

He rolled his eyes, in the Gaara way with a really, really slow blink. "Do I have to channel Kankuro's perverted nature to make you understand me?"

My jaw dropped as I finally understood what he was getting at. "B..wha'tha?" I stuttered, not entirely sure what language had just tumbled out of my lips, but it certainly wasn't any I knew.

He snorted and shook his head. "It seems you finally got it. Thank god." He sighed.

I flushed, stood there dumbfounded for a moment, and then burst into laughter, at the same time I got aroused, which was so strange and conflicting that it confused my body and I choked. I sat down in my chair, hard, coughing.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sounding somewhat amused, and somewhat concerned.

"Yes…perfectly fine…go back to…your paperwork…" I managed to wheeze.

Then there was about ten minutes of silence, in which I kept thinking about what he had said, no matter how hard I tried to put it out of my head.

"Was it because I stuck my ass in the air?" I finally asked, truly curious and unconcerned about the crudeness of my word choice. I hadn't even really thought about it.

I heard an exceptionally loud snap and jumped at the sound, not expecting it. That sound was followed by Gaara growling, "Ren…." in the lowest voice he possessed, and I shivered. His hand rose and his elbow propped up on the desk, almost lazily, except it obviously wasn't for comfort that he did it. I saw the black ink flowing down his hand, and then his wrist, and finally dripping onto his desk as he held up the pen, which now had a very broken tip.

"Oops." I said somewhat weakly, and tried not to laugh. "I hope that wasn't an important document you were working on."

"It wasn't. But perhaps you should refrain from making comments like that while I'm doing paperwork."

I chuckled, and then the first amusing thought that came to mind popped out of my mouth before I had a chance to censor it. "We wouldn't want you to hurt your … _pen_." And then I snorted at his slightly cockeyed expression at the stupid double entendre.

He just grumbled something under his breath and got back to work, giving me a stern glare as he did. I mimed zipping my lips closed.

Later that day, as we were leaving the office, Matsuri happened to see Gaara's still black hand and exclaimed in horror. She twittered all over him, and ran back to her desk, coming back with a pack of wipes. Gaara stood there very patiently as she insisted on wiping his hand down thoroughly, and surprisingly the wipes worked. She explained how they were specially designed for ink and she had started carrying them around with her everywhere. She also wiped down his sleeve, and they worked on that too.

As helpful as she was being, I was starting to get really twitchy about her being all over him like this. I knew she had some blooming love for him, and I really didn't want her to get her feelings hurt. Plus the jealousy rising up inside of me was making it very difficult for me to just stand there and not say anything. Not to mention Kitty growling and hissing in my mind, getting all kinds of pissy and territorial.

Gaara politely thanked Matsuri and she blushed, beaming from ear to ear. It was painful.

Once we had detached ourselves from her we went up to our apartments. This time I just followed Gaara to his and entered after him, not even pretending like we weren't going to sleep together. I knew it and he knew it. It wasn't a secret. And it wouldn't be suspicious for anyone who had seen, because as his bodyguard I was also his confidant, and everyone knew there had been a big meeting today, so they would just assume we were discussing business. And if they thought something else, I was getting to the point that I didn't really give a crap.

I sat on the bed as he took off his coat and put it away in the closet. "Hey Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"Uh…you've said before that I'm your girlfriend right?" I asked hesitantly, fiddling my fingers together a tad awkwardly.

He glanced over his shoulder curiously at me. "Yes. Why?"

"Well…we never actually talked about it. I mean, are we in a…monogamous relationship? Like, committed to each other and no one else? I mean, romantically? I don't really know how these things usually work, or how couples are supposed to talk about them, so I just wanted to make sure."

He blinked. "I don't intend on ever being with anyone other than you, Ren. So yes, I would consider our relationship to be monogamous."

"Oh good. That's kinda what I thought, I just wanted to make sure." I sighed, glad to get that out of the way.

He got a slightly mischievous, if evil, gleam in his eye. "I would also recommend you not being with anyone else. I can't guarantee they would survive the experience."

I gasped, laughing. "Either you just said that I'm so difficult to be with, that I would kill most ordinary men, or else you threatened to kill any would-be suitors that I might be interested in."

His darkly teasing grin widened a little. "I intended the second. But the first could be equally valid."

I gasped, mock offended, but the laughter that was still bubbling out of my mouth kind of ruined the effect a little. "I'm not that difficult to be with!"

His grin widened even more, showing a little teeth now. "You play pretty rough, Ren."

I huffed. "Hey! You play a lot rougher than I do, Mister! I'm not the one with choking and biting fetishes."

His grin turned into a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Well whatever. I'm hungry." I grumbled, still highly amused but playing like I was mad at him.

"Help yourself." He rumbled, his voice thoroughly amused.

And so I did. I walked out of the bedroom, shedding my weapons and armor and laying them on the rack he had for that purpose, and walked into the kitchen. He still had the leftovers from last week, and they were still good, so I heat them up, extra well just to make sure, and dug in. I heat up enough for Gaara as well and he soon joined me at the table.

We ate, did various before bed activities like reading and stuff like that, and after a while I began to get a little tired, so I stretched, yawned, and stood. "I think I'm going to take a shower, if that's okay with you?" I asked, since it was his shower I was using.

He looked up from some big file he was reading and stared at me for a moment before he said, "As far as I'm concerned, you live here too. You never have to ask to use anything."

I blinked, flushing, and squeaked, "Oh! Well…thanks!" and scooted off to the bathroom, a little briskly. I was extremely happy, and yet still wasn't entirely sure about the whole living with him thing, although technically I had lived with him before. But that was different. I stood under the hot spray in the shower and sighed, groaning. I smacked my palm against the wall firmly and said, "That's it! I'm sick and tired of being all weird and wishy washy. I'm happy, damn it. I just need to get over all this crap and be done with it."

"Wonderful."

I jumped at the sound of Gaara's voice in the bathroom. He must have come in at the same moment I smacked the wall for me to have not heard the door. And smacking the wall had another consequence because that damn mister came back on and started filling the shower with fog.

"Oh for the love of….Gaara the mister is doing it again!" I complained.

I heard a chuckle and then the shower door opened and he stepped inside, thankfully wearing a pair of boxers. I sucked in a breath and nearly fell over I whirled around so fast. I did skid a little, which had me doing a very strange little dance for a second.

Gaara looked at me with amusement, and a certain heat I was starting to recognize and adore, and asked, "Is this okay? Since I've seen you fully naked before, I figured you wouldn't mind if I came in to fix the problem."

I regained my balance, both physically and mentally, and realized that he was right and that he had already seen me totally naked. So really, this wasn't a big deal, even if my cheeks were super red. I was mainly just startled and that had flung me back into old shy habits.

"Yeah, no, this is fine." I said, my voice a little high pitched. I cleared my throat and Gaara smirked.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice lyrical and teasing.

I scowled. "Yes. I was just surprised. Now what the hell is wrong with your shower?"

He shrugged.

"Didn't you ever figure out how to fix the mister before?" I asked, exasperated.

"I suppose so." He hummed, looking at all the nobs on the wall closely.

"Gaara it's been like…what, almost half a year now? More than that? And you still haven't figured out your shower?"

"I don't use everything in here very often. Mostly I just use this." He pointed to the large rain shower that was currently drenching us both. "Or that…" He pointed at the smaller, more regular shower head mounted on the wall, although it looked really darn fancy.

"Why use that one at all? This one is so much bigger, and rinses you off faster I would think." I asked curiously and peered up at the rain shower, which was a big square tile set into the ceiling, big enough to get both of us, even with a good amount of distance in between.

"True, but that one has more pressure."

I blinked. "Oh."

He shrugged and said, "I think it might be this one. Brace yourself."

"For what?" I asked, right as a very powerful, very hot spray shot out of the wall closest to me and beaned me on the butt. I yelped, hopped a foot into the air, skidded sideways, bumping into Gaara, and unconsciously took a battle stance.

"For that." He said, in his monotone way.

"I see." I huffed, a little out of breath from the surprise.

"Hm." He made his sound.

And then I realized that I was pressed up against him, my side and the side of my breast snug against his arm. I cleared my throat and took a step away, not sure I was ready for stuff like that when I was fully naked like this. I peered over my shoulder and took a look at the red spot on my butt from the hot spray.

"Yeouch." I grumbled, and rubbed my behind.

"Did it burn you?"

"I don't think water out of a shower is actually hot enough to burn you. Is it?" I asked, feeling around to see if it felt burned.

"Honestly? I don't know. Here let me see." His hands landed on my hips and he turned me as he bent a little to get a good look at my skin. I sucked in a deep breath, knowing that musky scent of mine was filling the shower. I could even smell it, despite the fact that I was desensitized to my own scent and usually couldn't pick up on it at all.

"You look fine." He murmured and pressed a gentle kiss to the upper curve of my butt, up near my hip.

I shivered. "Thanks." I said, a little shakily.

As he fiddled with the knobs and turned that geyser back off, I asked, "So did it hit you too?"

"Yes. And somewhere infinitely less pleasant than where it hit you."

I winced. "Oh! That had to hurt!"

"Indeed."

He fiddled with a few more knobs, and finally figured out how to turn off the mister, after he had managed to spray us both with random shower heads scattered all throughout the shower.

I heaved a sigh of relief. "Sheesh. Why does it have to be so complicated." I grumbled. He grunted, looking a little put out, but accomplished, and I grinned at him, saying, "Thanks Gaara."

"You're welcome. Were you done with your shower?" He inquired, turning to me.

"Um. No, not quite. My hair is clean but I haven't washed yet."

"Would it upset you if I joined you?"

"Well you kind of already did." I pointed out.

"I meant in taking a shower."

"Oh. Right. Yeah, I don't see why not." I shrugged. And then realized something. "Ehm, you would need to be naked to do that right?"

He nodded slowly, his eyes full of mirth as I patched it together.

I bit my lip and thought about it for a moment. Well, we had been together for…several months now I supposed, although in some ways it felt like it had been a lot longer considering how right it felt. But in other ways, it felt a lot shorter, like right now. I flushed. It had been a couple of days since the last time we had done stuff of a sexual nature. I had seen a glimpse then, and had managed not to spontaneously combust with either embarrassment or arousal, so it seemed like it would be okay.

I sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. "Okay…well, that should be fine. Uh. Do you want me to look away?"

"That's up to you. I don't mind if you look." He shrugged and tucked his thumbs into the elastic band of his underwear.

I swallowed thickly, feeling nervous and excited, and wondered if I should look away and then glance later. I bit my lip and turned, fetching the soap from the little ledge behind me so I could wash, and I heard the wet splat of his underwear hit the ground.

 **Not exactly a Lemon Warning, but more of an explicit Nudity Warning here.**

I stepped out from under the spray to soap up my body, being brisk and methodical about it, starting at my neck and then soaping up my arms. As I re-soaped my hands I glanced and saw the back of him as he stood, also out of the spray, standing by the wall cattycorner to mine, as he soaped up his red hair, turning it sort of a strange light red color, not quite pink, but getting there. Since his back was turned I could admire him without getting shy, or feeling silly like I was gawking.

I had seen the muscles in his shoulders and back many times, but had never seen his behind before, or the backs of his muscular legs. I blinked, taking it all in. I cocked my head to the side, and decided that he had a great butt. Not that I had expected anything flabby, I had known it would be tight, ninjas weren't exactly lazy after all, but I appreciated that it wasn't too big or too small. It seemed just the right size for a guy. And as everything else I had seen of him, I found his butt and the backs of his legs very sexy.

I grinned. "Nice butt." I teased, and then laughed when I heard a funny sounding noise come from him and his foot slipped on the tile a little. "Oh shit. Sorry, you didn't get soap in your eyes did you?" I asked, giggling, but really quite concerned.

"No." He grumbled. And then added, "How is it that you're so shy, and then say such bold things?"

I thought about it. It was a good question. "I guess I'm shy about stuff when it intimidates me. Your butt doesn't intimidate me."

He snorted. "Good to know." And then he turned and got into the spray.

His eyes shut tightly as he rinsed his hair under the rain shower, his body now turned in my direction. And I got my first good look at his guy stuff. I flinched, not totally expecting it. I blushed, glanced away, and then thought that was stupid and looked back, still embarrassed and shy, but quite curious now.

I blinked, a little surprised. I had never seen a dick before, aside from the glimpse of Gaara's a few days ago, so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect aside from the basic shape. It was a bit darker than the rest of his skin, but didn't look super different, aside from the very tip which was definitely a darker pink. It definitely didn't look like those stupid drawings that teenage boys had seemed so fond of drawing when I'd been in the academy, with the big bulbous mushroom top. It seemed like it was more streamlined than that, with a definite head, but more like an arrow than any kind of fungus, and I immediately thought that anyone who had ever drawn one of those mushroom things was stupid.

It looked like there was a rim of skin there, which I guessed was his foreskin, based off the weird things I had heard in the girl's bathroom. Some of the girls had seemed to find it gross, and I simply couldn't see why. Over all, it looked kind of strange, but not particularly scary or gross. Mostly it was just incredibly fascinating, and exciting, simply because of what it was.

Based off the size, and the way it bobbed instead of being loose and floppy, it seemed like it was maybe half hard, but not fully erect. I had a good enough idea about how it poked out at least, so I knew it wasn't fully stiff, but it didn't exactly look flaccid either, and I would guess that had to do with his being in the shower with me while we were both naked. As before, the size did surprise me, and I would suspect that he was probably above average, although I honestly had no clue, and frankly didn't give a damn. I was just glad it wasn't ridiculously big. That would have scared the bejesus out of me. And I wouldn't have known what to do if it was itty bitty either, I probably would have been afraid to touch it for fear of breaking it. I didn't know how dicks worked, maybe they could be broken.

And then I took note of his balls hanging behind it, and though I could see that there were two, again, all that juvenile graffiti got it wrong, because it wasn't like two balls hanging down; so much as it was a sack, with two lumps in it. I shook my head, despairing at the fact that no one seemed to know how to draw penises and testicles. It was just sad.

I glanced up and saw Gaara's face. Apparently he had opened his eyes at some point and had seen me looking at him, and now he looked a tad concerned, which I quickly figure out was because of my despairing look about all the stupid pictures.

I snorted. "Don't look so worried. I wasn't frowning at you. I was just thinking that it was sad no one seems to draw male anatomy correctly. Because they always draw it like this." I drew the mushroom and balls that everyone always did in the fog on the glass, and pointed at the mushroom thing. "Like this thing for instance. That…"I paused and pointed at his dick, "Doesn't look at all like a mushroom." And I frowned, actually a little put out by everyone.

And Gaara started laughing. I blinked at him, a little shocked. I didn't think I'd ever heard him laugh so hard before. It was explosive, and loud, and quite wonderful to hear, and I grinned, finding myself almost giddy at the sound.

After a minute he calmed down. "Ren. You never cease to surprise me. Of all the reactions I could have imagined, that wasn't one of them."

I snorted. "Well, what did you think I was going to do?"

"I have no idea. Perhaps, blush and look away, based on past experience with you."

"Actually that was the first thing I did. You were just too busy washing your hair to notice."

"Ah."

I grinned and then realized that I hadn't finished washing, the soap on my neck and arms almost a little irritating now that it had been on there so long, since I had gotten distracted. I grimaced and sudsed up my hands. "You totally distracted me from taking a shower. Shame on you." I scolded teasingly as I briskly soaped up my breasts and stomach.

He blinked lazily at me, looking utterly unrepentant.

I didn't take any time on it, or attempt to make it sexual at all, but the way Gaara was watching me made me feel like I was. "What?" I asked, almost a little exasperated at his fixed gaze, which hadn't blinked for a good few minutes now. I would never know how he did that without his eyes getting unbearably dry.

"Hm?"

"Why are you staring? You've seen it all before." I sighed as I very quickly foamed up my curls between my legs, flushing at the way his eyes followed my hands. I spent as little time there as possible, and soaped up my legs, and then my butt, and then worked on my back with one arm over and one arm under.

Gaara finally unfroze, and spun his finger in a circle, suggesting I should turn around. I blinked and turned and he came up behind me and took the soap from my hand. I felt his hands gently suds up my back, from the back of my neck to my behind, but not dipping into the crack. The slippery smooth feeling of his hands on the skin on my back was pretty amazing.

"Thanks." I chirped and scooted into the shower to rinse off.

After rinsing off, I stepped out of the shower, toweling off quickly. I hadn't brought any clean clothes with me, again, so I just stayed naked for the time being. Gaara was quick to come out of the shower and I handed him the towel I had used and he toweled off quickly too. We both used his toothbrush and exited the bathroom to go to bed.

Once in the bedroom I stalled. "Do you mind if I borrow another pair of your boxers tonight? I don't have a clean change of underwear to sleep in."

He gave me a look. "Is it necessary to sleep in underwear?" He questioned, dead-pan, and I wouldn't have thought anything of it if his eyes hadn't been glittering.

I blinked, a bit surprised. "Well…I suppose not. But…" I hesitated, not wanting to get into the finer details of lady parts and why sleeping nude might be a bad idea. Some things just couldn't be predicted or helped.

He just stared and waited for me to explain my hesitance.

I sighed. "Look, you know what happens when I get…excited. I'm not sure that sleeping naked is the best idea…you know, for the bed linens." I winced, not up to going into the other reasons why stains might happen.

He cocked his head. "I don't mind if _that_ gets on the sheets."

I blinked. "Okaaay." I wasn't sure whether to be grossed out or touched. "Well, if I'm going to be sleeping naked then you're going to have to wear underwear at least because we seem to usually sleep with my back against your chest, and I don't think I'm ready to risk having my stuff touch your stuff." I said straightforwardly.

His lips quirked and he walked to the dresser, retrieved a pair, and slipped them on. "Fair enough." He said and got into bed.

I huffed and got in next to him and the lights went out, as expected. I rolled onto my side, my arm up under my pillow, and brought my knees up a little so Gaara could curl around me, as he usually did. I felt his warmth press up against me and I sighed contentedly, waiting for my body to cool down and go to sleep. I was still pretty damn worked up from the shower and seeing him totally naked, so I knew it might take a little time before I could sleep, and my thighs shifted just a little, the pressure of them pressing together like this feeling pretty good and making the situation linger.

 **Gaara POV**

He gritted his teeth, determined to not do anything, even though he desperately wanted to initiate another sexual situation with Ren. But unfortunately he could sense her deep exhaustion, and so he held himself back, and cursed that thing inside of him that simply wouldn't let him use her arousal against her despite her need for sleep. He sighed and gently kissed the back of her neck, and waited for her to calm down and go to fucking sleep already. It didn't take her too long, thankfully.

He sighed, feeling himself finally beginning to calm down as well, his semi-permanent erection finally giving up and going limp. He relaxed into the bed with relief, and a little frustration. She didn't seem to be having any nightmares, thankfully, and so he started getting ready to meditate.

After a little while, he jerked to awareness as Ren twitched against him. He blinked sleepily at her, waiting to see if she was going into an unpleasant dream again. She sighed and relaxed and he did the same, only to stiffen as she twitched again, and then her body tensed. She gasped and then trembled, and he figured she must be going into one of those bad dreams of hers, so he leaned up on an elbow and kissed her cheek, lightly pressing his lips to her neck, shoulders, and the side of her face, to try and pull her out of it.

It had worked before, so he was a little confused and concerned when she didn't calm like she usually did, but rather seemed to grow even more agitated. He pulled back a little, frowned at her for misbehaving, and brought his hand up from where it had been resting on her belly to tuck under her cheek and pull her face around a little, so he could look at her. Her eyes were twitching under her eyelids, showing that she was indeed asleep, as he had known, and he dipped, kissing her lips, her chin, her nose, her eyelids, and then growled when her eyebrows scrunched together and she whimpered.

 _Why wasn't it working?_

He huffed and let her face rest back on the pillow, going to plan B. He dipped down and nipped her throat, not as hard as he would to pull her out of a true nightmare, but enough that it should have snapped her out of the semi-bad dream it seemed she was experiencing. She jerked under him, and then a sound he hadn't expected purred from her throat, a very soft, very not afraid moan. He paused, his eyes a little wide, his teeth still pressed to her skin.

He drew back again, to get another look at her. Her breathing had picked up and she was flushed. Then, if there was any doubt left in his mind, he was suddenly very aware of her scent growing muskier and more aroused by the second. And yet she was still obviously very much asleep. His jaw dropped, and he stared at her in shock and amazement, not at all expecting this development.

 **Ren POV**

 **Lemonesque Warning: Lemony stuff will be happening soon**

The dream started out normally enough, in the dark as usual, and I was simply wandering the space, not really able to make anything out, but feeling perfectly safe about moving around in it. I became aware of another body inside the space with me. I could smell them and sense their heat, but they were lingering in the shadows, watching me, and that didn't frighten me so much as it irritated me.

I felt driven to find this person, who at first I didn't know, but then as I felt shifting sand under my feet, and became more aware of the spicy quality of the scent, I knew it was Gaara. I grew even more interested in hunting him down, and there was a game of cat and mouse as I tried to find him in the murky darkness and he hid from me. Yet somehow I knew he was playing with me, and not avoiding me.

I grew more and more frustrated and eventually just stopped, standing still and growling, waiting for him to come to me. Which he did, very quickly in fact. I was tackled from the front, and fell back onto a bed I hadn't known was there. And then the dream changed, became heated, and fuzzy, as his weight pinned me to the mattress and his lips kissed mine. His tongue immediately stroked against mine and I moaned, arching up into him.

Then his mouth came off of mine, and I felt a tug at my consciousness that confused me, as I felt kisses all along the side of my face. His hips ground into mine and I shuddered, gasping, the sensation feeling better in the dream than it would in reality. His body continued moving over mine, and I felt hot, my insides melting as my passion mounted quickly.

 **Gaara POV**

He shifted back behind her, no longer trying to wake her up. He watched as she twitched and moaned, her body heating up all by itself from the dream alone. He felt his dick come back to life and hissed, a little irritated at that, but mostly enraptured by watching Ren.

And then he gasped, surprised when she jerked in his arms and he scooted back, not wanting to be an obstacle to the dream that seemed to be giving her so much pleasure. She flipped over onto her back, and after a while he crept up beside her again, leaning on his elbow above her so he could see her face, and he was unable to resist pressing against her very lightly, trying not to wake her. She whimpered, and then growled, and suddenly her arms wrapped around his neck and she twisted, rolling him over and coming to rest half on top of him, her head on his chest, and her legs wrapped around one of his.

He gasped, tensing, as that place between her legs that fascinated him so much came into direct, skin to skin contact with the skin of his thigh. He was shocked by the heat, and the silky wet flesh that was now smooshed up against his thigh, and he felt like he suddenly had a fever at the unexpected contact. She lay still for a moment, seeming to go back to sleep, and then her body jerked again. She shuddered again, and rubbed against him for a second, that slippery place between her thighs sliding against his leg, and her hip ground down hard into his dick, sending pleasure shooting down his spine so fast he couldn't keep the loud groan from bursting out of his chest.

 **Ren POV**

After a while it wasn't enough, he wasn't quite at the right angle, and I grew frustrated. I didn't feel any shyness within the fog of my dream, so I rolled us over, mounting him now, and I took his place, moving over him and rubbing myself against his hardness, in just the right way now, and I felt myself growing closer to orgasm at a surprising rate.

And then suddenly I was jerked awake, a loud deep sound pulling me from the dream. My eyes snapped open and I gasped, tensing, my mind fuzzy from the dream. For a moment I was thoroughly disoriented, and then I slowly realized I had somehow gotten on top of Gaara practically, like in my dream, and that his leg was between mine, and my hip was pressed to his crotch. My body flinched, and I pushed away a little, holding myself up on very shaky elbows, which actually only managed to grind me harder against his thigh and I gasped. I became suddenly very aware of the skin to skin contact going on between my legs, and the distinct hardness trapped beneath my hip, and I flushed. I vaguely felt like I should be embarrassed about that, though I couldn't exactly remember why, and that made me a little unsure.

"Gaara? Wha…?" I whimpered, frowning, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

He reacted instantly, his mouth latching onto my own and I moaned, still dazed and confused and a little unsure about it all, but so aroused and still so fuzzy that I just sort of went with it. His hips bucked up underneath my own and I groaned, already on the edge from the dream. The dull pressure of his thigh normally wouldn't have been enough to get me off, but the feeling of his skin slipping against me, thoroughly coated by what I had already produced, combined with the fact that I was already so close, very quickly pushed me closer to the peak I had been pursuing in my dream.

My body took over and I rubbed against him, grinding into his leg and sliding back and forth, which also seemed to be very pleasurable for him as well, since my hip also ground down into his erection quite firmly. He jerked and grabbed my hips, assisting my jerky motions and making them a little smoother, as his lips left my gasping mouth, our teeth clicking together a few too many times to continue the kiss, and he attacked my throat with lips, tongue, and teeth, as he worked his way down to my upper chest.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara quickly found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place, Ren's movements driving him up the wall and quickly bringing his lust to a head. He had been aroused for what felt like the whole goddam day, off and on, and he hadn't achieved any sort of release. So this sudden, unexpected pleasure that Ren was giving him, while she was obviously experiencing so much pleasure, immediately had him ready to burst.

He growled, and just barely was able to hold off the ejaculation he could feel tightening his balls already, as he kissed down her neck. And then a compulsion hit him and he dipped onto her chest, which was right there, and so tempting he couldn't resist. As his lips and tongue caressed the velvety skin on her breasts, he was struck by an intense curiosity and dipped even lower, craning his neck to get to the pink tip. The sensation of her nipple on his lips and tongue, and in his mouth, immediately became addictive.

 **Ren POV**

I was so out of it that I had no idea what suddenly produced the amazing sensation of heat and wetness and suction on one of my nipples, but it immediately set me off, and I jerked violently, gasping and then moaning as I curled up, my forehead pressing into his chest as I twitched and jerked against him. My moan was joined by a sound barked harshly from his throat and his hips bucked up almost violently into my own. His hands released my hips, allowing me to grind and jerk and do whatever it was that my body wanted to do while in the throes of my orgasm, and his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly against him. That was probably done in passion, but it had the added benefit of making sure that I wouldn't accidently bang my head up against his or something during the somewhat uncoordinated spasms my body went through.

I slowly came down, gasping, still having the occasional pleasurable clench down below, and I went limp against him. Our quick breathing synced up, and we panted in unison for a while. I rested my head back against his chest, a few shudders still working their way through me. After a good few minutes, I sighed, blinked, and propped my head up with my hand, looking down at Gaara, who cracked open an eye.

 **End Of Lemon**

I blinked at him, still trying to figure out what just happened. "Uh. Wow. Okay. Do you know what just happened? Because I have no fucking clue." I mumbled, my voice croaking a little.

He chuckled, still looking at me languidly out of that one eye. "I believe we both just experienced orgasms." He said, in that matter-of-fact way of his, amusement thick in his extra raspy voice.

I flushed. "That's not what I … oh … you did too?" I got sidetracked and asked.

He snorted. "Yes."

I blinked, "But wouldn't that mean that…" I shifted and felt the dampness under my hip as he hissed. "Oh…yeah, no I feel it now. Good. I'm glad I wasn't the only one." I sighed, feeling very satisfied about that, and surprisingly kind of proud of myself.

He huffed and his other eye opened to peer at me lazily.

I shook my head. "But back to my earlier question…what just happened?"

"Aside from…?"

"Yes, aside from that. What I meant was, how did that happen? I mean, what led up to it?"

"I believe you had a…I believe 'wet dream' is the term most commonly used." He almost purred, sounding quite pleased about the whole thing.

I flushed. "Oh. Yeah. That would explain it." I thought back, and remembered the dream I had been having before waking up in a daze and grinding to oblivion. "Yeah, I was having a pretty…eheh…pleasant dream. But how did I end up on top of you?"

"You flipped us."

"I did? While I was still asleep?" I blinked, a little surprised.

"…mmhm." He hummed, the deep sound very pleasant, almost a purr.

"Sheesh. I hope I never have a dream where I'm attacking someone and accidentally punch you or something."

"I wouldn't let you." He rumbled.

"Oh. So you _let_ me roll over. How would you have stopped me?" I asked curiously.

"By holding you still. Gently."

"So you do run interference! I've wondered how we always wake up in the same position we go to sleep in, since I used to wake up all over the bed." I chuckled, and lay my head back down against his chest.

After a moment, he shifted, and I cringed at the sticky feeling now happening between my thighs and his leg, and his crotch and my hip. "Uh…"

"Bathroom." He finished the unspoken thought.

"Yeah."

 **Nudity Warning**

We detached and went into the bathroom. I grabbed a couple of washcloths out of the cabinet and tossed them to him. He wetted them down in the sink and handed one off to me as I walked over to him. I briskly cleaned myself of the stickiness, and glanced over to what he was doing. He was cleaning some goopy white stuff off his lowermost stomach and dick. I was intrigued, a little grossed out, and a little excited by the sight of it.

All of this new stuff was kind of like that, a mess of emotions and shit. But I was finding the discovery process very enjoyable.

 **Author's Note:**

I added in a nudity warning for descriptions of genitals, and stuff like that. If that's helpful, or you'd rather me leave it out, just let me know either way for upcoming chapters.

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!

Sorry for taking so long, I was working on a oneshot for Gaara's birthday, which was on the 19th. I have the first chapter done and it's being proofread now. Check it out when it's posted, it's a Matsuri/Gaara, and I'm gonna call it, "Blow Me Down." It'll be two chapters, so I guess that's technically a twoshot.


	75. Burn With Me: Chapter 56 & 57

I woke the next morning, wonderfully as always, not having had a nightmare, and stretched. I was quickly reminded that I was completely naked when my behind brushed against the soft material of Gaara's boxers. I woke Gaara with my stretching, obviously, because suddenly I could feel his lips press under my jawline and he hummed, sounding happy.

"Good morning," I giggled, reaching an arm up and curling it around his head to tousle his red hair.

"Good morning…" He rumbled and nipped my ear.

I yelped and gave his hair a tug. "Stop that! We have to be in the office in…" I leaned up on one elbow and craned my neck around over my shoulder and Gaara to see the clock. "…in 30 minutes! Remember, that important emissary from Konoha was supposed to come this morning with information from the Leaf Village?"

"Hm." He huffed, and bit my shoulder, a little harder than before, obviously expressing his frustration.

"Hey! It's not my fault! And stop using me as a chew toy. Sheesh." I snorted, not really minding at all, since it actually felt pretty good, but needing to get ready for the day.

After some grumbling and harassment, I finally was able to get out of the bed and convince Gaara to do the same. We hustled to get ready in time and shuffled down to the office. On the way in, I noticed Matsuri wearing even tighter clothes, which meant they actually fitted well instead of being baggy. She was even wearing a little makeup, and she handed Gaara his reports for today with a flirty smile. Well…flirty for her, awkward by everyone else's standards.

I sighed.

What was even worse, were her friends that showed up at lunch time. That had started happening recently. She would eat with them, and if Gaara tried to leave within that time, which happened to coexist around the time he usually had a meeting, they would practically accost him with their flirtynes. One of these days I was going to do something inappropriate, like punch one of them or something

The problem was Gaara's tolerance for their shenanigans. I suspected he still had a soft spot for Matsuri as his student, which I didn't blame him for, after all I still had the same sort of soft spot for her myself. But still…it was getting ridiculous.

We had just sat down when we heard, "Hey there! Is Gaara available? I'm supposed to give him this!" I perked up at the sound of Naruto's voice.

"Hey Naruto! Come on in!" I hollered out the open office door.

"OH! Ren!" He came bounding in, hyper as always. "Hey! Whatcha doing in here with Gaara?"

"I'm his personal body guard now, didn't you know?"

"Oh yeah! Now I remember!" He smacked his forehead with his hand. I winced. _Wow he really is way too hyper today._

"Naruto…" The yellow head turned at Gaara's soft, raspy voice and he grinned widely, bounding over to the desk and handing Gaara the scroll he was carrying.

"Here's the report you asked for! Lady Tsunade was very insistent that it had to get to you as soon as possible!"

"Thank you Naruto." Gaara grinned a little at him.

"No prob! Hey would you guys like to get a bite to eat with me later? I'm going back to the Leaf Village this evening, but it would be awesome if we could get lunch or something together!"

I snorted, his lack of decorum for Gaara's Kazekage status wonderfully refreshing.

Gaara nodded calmly, and Naruto beamed and bounced out of the room. When the time came, we made our way out of the tower, thankful that the girls had apparently gone out to eat today, and met up with Naruto at a restaurant. Naruto and I had the Sand Village's ramen, with lizard meat, which was one of my personal favorites, and Naruto seemed to appreciate it as well. Gaara naturally got what he always got, pan seared lizard tongue.

We visited, and it was great to catch up with our Leaf Village friend.

"So Ren! I didn't know you could turn into a big cat!" Naruto burst out randomly at one point, some noodles hanging out of the side of his mouth.

I snorted at his random change in conversation. We had been talking about the ramen before he popped out with that. "I didn't know it myself…" I chuckled and slurped up some noodles.

Both Naruto and Gaara peered at me curiously. "Really?" Naruto asked, scratching his head and closing his eyes in that weird squinty way he had when he was really confused.

"Yeah. Had no idea." I shrugged.

"Wow! Then how did you do it if you didn't know you could?!"

"Well…under the circumstances…Kitty gave me a big boost, to save Gaara. And it just sort of happened, I took her form."

"Wow! So that big cat is really inside of you?" Naruto asked, looking amazed and surprised.

"Yep."

"So, you're like a Jinchuriki, huh?" He asked.

"Not quite. Kitty and I get along better than that." I grinned at his shocked face.

"Really?! That's awesome!"

 _ **I like him.**_ Kitty purred, grinning.

And so it continued, Naruto being hyper and chatty, and Gaara mostly letting the two of us talk while he watched and put in a word or two. It was lots of fun, and I was kind of sad to see him go, but he had to leave and go back to the Leaf Village, so Gaara and I made our way back up to the tower after seeing him off.

The girls were back by then and we had to forge past them and their wall of boobs on the way to the office. I very politely pushed them back and out of Gaara's way with a little breeze, and they glared at me, as per usual.

It looked like they were actually helping Matsuri now with the secretary duties, just a little, and strangely it seemed like Gaara's work load started to increase, the papers that he had to sign getting more and more. It got to the point that we were both up there so late, we were once again too stressed out and tired to do much in the way of sexy stuff once we got back to the apartment.

That lasted for a week or so, and the girls started staying later and later into the evening, keeping Matsuri company, which I didn't see the harm in, and neither did Gaara.

One night, I was reading, and Gaara was working on his paperwork as usual. We were both tired, stressed, and sexually frustrated on top of it all from not having time to do stuff for a week, so we weren't in the best of moods. I sighed and started doing pushups, trying to get some blood flowing. It was during this exercise that the office door opened and I pushed up off the ground, standing to make sure it wasn't an intruder.

It was just one of the girls, which was a different kind of intrusion.

She seemed sweet, and hesitantly came in, saying, "Um…Lord Kazekage? We noticed you were working late the past few days, and thought you might find some tea relaxing." She hesitantly offered a steaming cup, her hand shaking just a little.

Gaara blinked calmly at her and said, "Thank you."

She blushed and brought the cup over to his desk, placing it on the edge, ever so gently, and then turned and almost ran out of the office. I blinked, having found the exchange amusing. "Well they sure are getting bold." I chuckled, stretching.

I had jumped up a tad too fast from my push up and had tensed up my shoulder a little. I groaned and did some arm stretches, and then rubbed the tight muscle. I dug the knuckle on my thumb into the thick muscle between my neck and my shoulder and winced. Gaara glanced up.

"Have some tea, it might help you relax some." He pointed at the mug now on his desk.

I blinked. "Oh no, that was for you Lord Kazekage…" I grinned, adopting a hesitant simpering tone of voice, teasing him.

He scowled at me and growled, "Drink." His temper was a little short because of the stress. I simply found his reaction more amusing.

I grinned broadly and pranced over, swinging my hips and simpering, "Well, if you insist, Lord Gaara. I would do anything to please my Kazekage." I batted my eyelashes.

His eyes flared and I heard a deep rumble come from his chest. I snorted, sipping at the hot tea. I blinked. It tasted kind of odd. I wasn't sure I had ever tasted this kind of tea before, but it was very good. I drank a good few swallows.

"Hm…actually this is pretty good. I'm not familiar with this tea." I hummed, pleasantly surprised.

I drank some more, but left half for Gaara, and then went over and sat down. I almost immediately felt myself relaxing. It was strange actually, the way the stress melted from me. I sighed and hummed, going back to reading my scroll. By the time we were planning to leave, I was feeling pretty good, the tea having replenished and relaxed me apparently. Before we left I noticed that Gaara hadn't drunk any of it and so as he walked out the door I finished it off, not wanting it to go to waste.

Once again, I felt myself relaxing, and I wondered if there was something in the tea more than just tea. Maybe a little bit of alcohol? I shrugged, figuring that the girls had just wanted to be helpful. I left the room, into a scene that had my mouth dropping.

Matsuri was behind her desk, looking very upset and unsure about the proceedings. And it was obvious why. Most of her friends had left, but three had stayed, and for a very specific reason it appeared. They all had on very low cut shirts, and they were unbuttoned even further, and they had on short, short skirts. I had never seen them look so…whorish. They were obviously trying to provoke something out of Gaara. Two of them were on either side of him, hanging onto his shoulders and arms, and kind of rubbing their boobs onto him. If that wasn't enough to get my blood boiling, the third one was definitely enough to do it.

She had walked right up to him, got onto her tiptoes, which wasn't hard since she was wearing slut heels, and had kissed him. I couldn't see his expression, but based on the very tense set of his shoulders, I could tell he was highly displeased, but didn't actually want to hurt them. Judging from the way his gourd was rattling ever so faintly, hurting them was a distinct possibility and it was probably taking all his self-control to just keep himself still.

That wasn't a problem for me, not one little bit. My relaxation vanished, but I didn't realize that my inhibitions had gone as well as my tension. I heard Kitty snarl in my head, and the sound came out of my own throat, a little reduced and sounding more human by the time I was done with it. I was going to give them a chance to leave in one piece, but that was the extent of my patience, which had apparently shortened when my inhibitions had disappeared.

I stalked forwards, and said, "What the fuck is going on here?"

One of the girls turned and smiled at me, catlike and smug. "Oh dear."

"I suggest you leave." I growled, barely restraining myself.

The leader peered over his shoulder at me, wrapping an arm around his neck. "What are you, his mother? He may be the Kazekage, but he's also a man, and he has needs. We just wanted to help our Kazekage relax some, that's no crime. You can't just tell us to leave. You're his body guard, and we respect you for keeping him safe. We all love him after all. But seriously, lighten up the ball and chain dear. Share a little."

 _Okay, that does it. The gloves are coming off and the claws are coming out._ This was going to get messy. I felt Kitty come out to play, her feline instinct filling me and making my already pissed attitude worse, and much more territorial and catty. I was unable to prevent that happening, my sense of morality, and what was socially acceptable, and why we were keeping our relationship secret, leaving me with the rising need to mark what was mine, stake my claim, and give these little uppity kittens something to remember me by. _Time to show them who's boss around here._

"Share?" I purred questioningly, my voice completely different now, smoother, and more seductive, closer to Kitty's voice in my head. I saw the leader's eyes widen. "He would have to _want_ you, for me to have to share." I finished, my lips curling just a little.

The leader's eyes narrowed, picking up on my challenge. "As I've said before, sweetheart, he's a man. What man wouldn't want three beautiful women to throw themselves at him and offer the use of their bodies?"

I grinned. " _That_ man." I pointed at Gaara, answering her question.

He still hadn't moved, and I suspected it was because either he was simply too shocked to move, or else he was so irritated by their pushiness that he didn't know how to extricate himself without hurting them. Or it could be both.

I stalked around Gaara and the threesome, and came to stand in front of them, taking in Gaara's expression. His face was tight, cold, a little blank, and it looked like he had spaced out, just a little. Yep, he had no idea how to extricate himself, and as soon as he saw me, his cold demeanor shifted a little and he sent me an exasperated, pissed off, very confused ' _what do I do_?' sort of look.

If I hadn't been completely pissed off, I would have found his expression and predicament amusing. As it was, I just felt kind of sorry for him and even more furious at the girls for putting him in such a tough spot.

The leader turned and faced me, not missing the opportunity to grind her ass into Gaara's crotch, which increased the discomfort and irritation substantially on his features. She was older than me, at least ten years older, a full grown woman, with pretty breasts, although that was probably because of the pushup bra that she wore, and a cocky expression on her face that I couldn't wait to smack off.

She looked me up and down, took in my apparently flat chest, obviously judging me and finding me lacking by the way her smug face grew. "What would you know about it child? You're what, maybe 14? I would wager you're a virgin as well. Don't concern yourself with adult activities, you needn't worry about his body tonight, it's in good hands." She reached back and ran a finger along one of his belts across his hips, coming way too close to his crotch for me to be comfortable.

"Gaara, I would suggest you step back from these bitches, or your gonna get scratched in the cat fight that's about to go down." I growled, widening my stance. "In fact, just leave them to me and go relax. I'll be along shortly."

His eyes widened and he stopped trying to figure out how to free himself gracefully, apparently just giving up on all of that crap, and briskly, and perhaps a tad roughly, shook all three of them off and stepped back. He glanced at me, looked at them, and then walked off, not having said a word. He apparently was ticked off enough to let me have my fun, which meant he was really fucking mad, because usually at this point he would grab me and haul me off to a safe distance.

 **Gaara POV**

He retreated to a safe distance, outside in the hall, and quickly summoned his Third Eye Jutsu, sending it in there to look at what was going to happen. He would have to step in if things got out of hand, but at this point he had just wanted to leave the room. He was in shock, and utterly appalled by what had happened, and simply didn't have the patience to deal with it at the moment. At least not in a reasonable manner that wouldn't end up with one of those females getting injured. He decided to stay out in the hall and get himself under control so that when he inevitable had to step back in to clean up the mess Ren would undoubtedly make of them, he could do it in a manner befitting the Kazekage.

 **Ren POV**

The three girls were thoroughly confused about what had just happened, and it seemed like they had actually thought he was amenable to their plans. Why that was, I had no idea. "As I said, he doesn't want your attentions. Didn't you even notice how pissed he was?"

The leader regrouped quickly and said confidently, "Oh, he does want us. I'm sure he just felt awkward with you breathing down his neck. If he was angry at anyone, it was you."

Another said, "Yeah, stop being such a big party pooper!"

The third said, "Geez, he's probably just shy! I mean Matilda here said he's probably a virgin, so of course he wouldn't want a sour puss like you here to witness his virginity being taken!"

Okay, these idiots just didn't know when to take a hint. I crossed my arms over my chest, and scowled fiercely. "Okay, I've tried to be nice. But you're making it very difficult for me to not want to kill you. Gaara. Is. Not. Interested. Fuck off."

"Oh really? And I suppose you think he's yours, huh? What makes you think he would want you? Such a flat-chested, prepubescent body, what sort of pleasure would he gain from that?"

"First of all, I don't have a flat chest. And second, what the hell makes you think he would go for sluts like you? You three are dressed like straight-up whores. How the fuck did you think _that_ was a good idea? My brothers would have aneurisms if they saw your lack of style and wouldn't want to even be in the same _room_ as you." Which was true. I kinda wished Hikaru and Kaoru were here, and I could set them on these bitches. They needed a serious makeover.

The leader's eyes brightened with fury, and I could immediately tell she had gone into that state of unreasonable rage some women go into when they're called a whore or a slut, and I'd just done both. She stalked forwards and told her two enraged associates to hold me. They came up on either side and grabbed my arms. I let them, knowing I could knock them off at any point but wanting to see what exactly this dumb bitch was planning on doing.

She walked right up to me, and hissed, "Okay you little tramp, you say you don't have a flat chest? Let's see about that shall we? You deserve some humiliation after spouting off the mouth like that. You need to learn to respect you elders." She had obviously forgotten about my status as Gaara's bodyguard, and was deep into weird fury land.

She unsheathed a dagger and sliced it down my shirt, intending to expose my chest. I just let her, beyond caring if she saw my jutsu mark, or anything like that. I simply wanted to make a point, mainly that she was dumb. She was good with a knife at least, I had to grudgingly give her that, because she didn't nick me once, obviously not wanting to actually hurt me, but only to humiliate me.

My shirt opened, and my bandages loosened, a few of them having been cut, and my breasts bounced out, freed from the tightness, but still mostly covered by the white strips. But their shape and size was no longer muffled at all. I glanced down, and played her game for a moment, comparing my chest to hers. Mine were easily the same size as hers, and to get that cleavage, she had to have a padded bra, which meant that mine were actually bigger than hers. I grinned, not really caring myself, finding boob size to be unimportant, but I knew it would piss her off, and I _did_ enjoy that.

She gaped for a moment, looking utterly befuddled. I would guess that for a woman like her, who put importance in her body and the way it looked, using her breasts to intimidate and get what she wanted, the fact that I bound mine tight would completely confuse her. She wouldn't understand that I simply didn't give a fuck what I looked like to others.

I grinned. "Are you done with your little temper tantrum?" I easily broke the hold of the two on my arms, showing that I had _let_ her cut my shirt. They were lightweights, and there was no way they could hold me. "Okay, fun's over. It's time for you to leave now. And don't come back. Ever. Or I'll toss you out on your ass."

She backed up. "What is your problem?" She hissed. "Why do you bind your breasts? Don't you care that you're a woman? And what gives you the right to speak for Gaara? How do you know he doesn't want to be with us? Who do you think you are to deny him pleasure?"

I snarled, reaching my limit. "He. Is. Mine. Not yours, not any of the other fangirls in this village. He's _mine_. He doesn't want you, he wants me, and that's the end of it. So you should just leave before he comes back down here wondering what the hell is taking me so long. Save yourself the humiliation woman!" I barked, coming to the end of my rope.

"You're just his body guard! That doesn't make him yours, you poor little love-sick baby."

"I'm a lot more than just his body guard lady." I growled. Getting right into her face.

She sneered in my face. "Oh really? And why should I believe you?"

This was getting ridiculous. This woman was either the most delusional person I had ever met, or the most optimistic. Whatever it was, it was pissing me off. "You fucking….what the hell is wrong with you?! No means no goddammit! Take your pushy self and get out of the building, or we are going to have a physical altercation, and you will lose. Badly. You're the poor love-sick baby here, not me!"

She turned beet red, and slapped me. I paused, heard Matsuri squeak with horror, and felt myself go into the danger zone. My head slowly turned back to her and my eyes tingled, alerting me to the fact that they had shifted. A growl worked its way out of my throat.

The two girls on either side of me started backing away, and that was a smart thing to do, as the air around me ionized, crackling with the immense chakra being released from my body. "You're in trouble now bitch." I snarled, aware that I wasn't entirely myself, but unable to fix the problem.

I would have done some serious physical damage, if it weren't for the hand that cupped my jaw, gently locking around my neck, and pulling me back into a very firm chest. The growl in my chest revved up a notch, and for a second I tensed, fighting against the gentle hold. And then Gaara's scent filtered into my senses and I calmed almost immediately, my body relaxing back into his as I took a deep breath and forcibly calmed myself the rest of the way down. My head thunked back softly against his chest, as he wrapped his other arm around my waist, and I closed my eyes, feeling super out of control. I didn't know how this situation had gotten so out of hand, but there was a buzz in my head, and I could still feel a dangerous lapse in all my usual inhibitions. And that was frightening.

I felt the telltale spark of chakra in my mind, and heard Gaara's voice in my head. _What's wrong Ren? You don't seem…yourself._

I activated my line. _I dunno. I feel really weird and out of control. Frankly it's scaring me, just how little control over myself I have right now. My head feels kind of…buzzy and fogged up._

Gaara tensed behind me and then turned me around, not even looking down at my open shirt. He had seen it before so it wasn't shocking to him. He tilted my chin up and dipped his head down close to me, parting his lips and breathing in the air coming out of my mouth. I heard four different sounds behind me, a groan of defeat, a hiss, a gasp, and a whimper. I would guess that Gaara's obvious comfort at touching me and handling me in this way, and my obvious comfort with him, had finally proved to them that we were in fact a couple. _Good. Maybe they'll back the fuck off now._

Then Gaara pulled back, frowning. His eyes flicked up to the girls behind me and he addressed them harshly. "What was in that tea you gave me?"

"Wha…what do you mean Lord Kazekage?" One of the girls whimpered, sounding terrified.

I heard the leader speak up. "She drank it didn't she? I was wondering why she was so aggressive, when she had hidden it so well before." And then I heard her sigh. "We honestly had no idea that the two of you were together, and we simply wanted to provide you with entertainment and relaxation, since you have been so stressed lately. There was a mild relaxant and perhaps a tad of alcohol in the drink, nothing harmful I assure you, just something that we hoped would help you to relax. We apologize for overstepping our bounds Lord Kazekage." She sounded sincerely apologetic and humbled, and I relaxed some, knowing that we finally got through to her.

Gaara's eyes were stern and cold. "Thank you for your apology. I cannot forgive what you have done to Ren. However I will not punish you, considering your intentions were not towards her but towards me. The three of you will leave, and will not be permitted back inside of this building unless it is for business as ninjas. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir." They all meekly said and I heard them scampering off.

I sighed, starting to get a headache, and I leaned my forehead against Gaara's chest, feeling really, really out of it now. I felt his hand come up and begin to stroke the back of my head, and I sighed again, this time in contentment.

I felt him shift and knew he had turned his head towards Matsuri now. "Matsuri, I hope you know that you were used by these women. They were not truly your friends, they simply wanted an opportunity to get to me. I do forgive you your part in this, because I know you weren't aware of their intentions. However, do not let this happen again, or else I will have to release you as my secretary."

"Yessir." I heard her whimper, and felt very sorry for her actually. Not only had she been used in a cruel and manipulative manner, but she had been tricked into trusting those horrible women, and had actually thought they were her friends. And I knew she didn't have a lot of friends, so this must have come as quite the blow.

I sighed and raised my head, turning to look at her. "Matsuri." I called, and she very hesitantly looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry. I know this must have been difficult for you, to have those other women treat you so poorly, and use you in such a way. You should know that I also don't blame you for anything that's happened. You're a hard worker, and you've really made a difference in Gaara's workload, so you should be proud of yourself for those accomplishments. This was simply a learning experience, nothing more." And then I wobbled, just a little, feeling rather sleepy now actually.

I looked up at Gaara and he nodded. We left and Gaara assisted me up the stairs, not that I couldn't have done it myself, although I might have tripped once or twice, but he was such an overprotective mother hen sometimes.

We made it up to his room in one piece and I collapsed onto the bed, sighing and then groaning. "How do I always get myself in these situations?"

* * *

 **Chapter 57**

After a moment I rolled over and looked Gaara in the eye. "So how did you know about the alcohol?"

"I could smell it on your breath."

"Ah. Makes sense. Smart thinking." I hummed.

I felt like going to sleep right then and there, but I felt a little sweaty and gross, having worked up a bit of a sweat from the anger earlier. And before that, today we had gone around and checked on various facilities around the village. Gaara had been doing that more and more lately, and I had noticed that he was starting to stock up on provisions. Which was good, in this time of conflict we needed to be ready for anything. But all the tromping around today had made me feel like I needed a shower before I could go to bed.

So I groaned and got up, saying, "I'm gonna take a shower. You're welcome to join. As always."

He blinked, a tad wide-eyed, having not joined me since a week or so ago when he came in to fix the mister. Apparently my proposition had surprised him. I had really thought he knew that I didn't mind him taking a shower with me, but I guessed I'd never vocalized it before.

Once I finally managed to drag myself into the bathroom, I undressed and got into the shower, sighing at the hot water, which felt particularly good tonight. I was well into my shower routine when the door opened and admitted Gaara. I grinned at him and his lips curled in response. It was nice to be comfortable around him now like this. I mean, there was still that tension lingering, and the newness of at all still made me a little jittery and excitable, but mostly it was all sort of cool with me now.

Of course seeing him naked immediately turned me on, and Kitty started up with her litany of, **Jump him! Have sex! Do something! Damn-it-all! Come on Ren. Fuck him! Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him, fuck, dammit, fuck.** And so forth, but I was so used to it by now that it was mere static, white noise that was easily tuned out. I loved Kitty and all, she was a great companion, and we talked a lot, but when she got all foamy at the mouth like this she was totally insensible and not even worth talking to.

I finished my shower first and hopped out, drying off and finishing up my nightly routine, tossing on a fresh pair of undies. I was sitting on one of the wooden benches, of which he had several in the excessively large bathroom space, and I was toweling my hair dry when he came out of the shower. I watched him avidly as he walked over to the towel rack, soaking wet and his now dark red hair dripping into his eyes. In my mind, I amusingly thought he was so hot that I wouldn't be surprised if all that water just evaporated off him in a cloud of steam. I pictured it happen, in a cartoonish way and snorted, thinking that whatever it was that they put in that drink was pretty special to have me thinking such silly thoughts.

* * *

 **Nudity Warning: Yay for nudity!**

* * *

Naturally my eyes were drawn to his penis after a while, still not used to seeing it out and about, so it definitely drew my attention. Once again it was at least half-hard, and without really thinking about it I said, "I don't think I've ever seen your penis totally flaccid before." It popped out of my mouth before I even knew I was going to say it, and at first I didn't even realized I had.

His head whipped around and he turned towards me abruptly and I noticed, since I was looking there anyway, that such an abrupt move made his dong swing sideways and thwap against his hip, and then waggle a bit. I found it so humorous that I burst into laughter, which I might not have done if I hadn't been so uninhibited at the moment. Actually I probably wouldn't have commented on it in the first place.

"Wow. Isn't it really uncomfortable to have it just swing around like that?" I snorted, still giggling a little.

When I glanced up from his crotch to his face, he had a bemused, very shocked, and highly amused expression. His head was tilted a little to the side, and his eyes were cockeyed, with a scrunchy thing going on between his non-brows.

"Did you really just say…?" He sputtered, and then shook his head and composed himself.

Still emboldened by whatever was in that fucking drink, I continued to observe him as he dried himself off and then walk over to the sink. At that point, I continued my totally out-of-control train of thought aloud. "So. Is it flaccid? I mean I've never seen it flaccid, but it kind of looks half-hard to me."

He choked on some toothpaste. "Oops, sorry." I said, realizing that maybe I hadn't picked a good time to shock him.

After he had finished brushing his teeth he turned back to me and gave me a look. "No. It isn't."

"So is it always like that?" I asked, still curious.

He sighed and face-palmed, one of the few time I'd ever seen him do that. "No Ren. It's not. But when I'm around you, and you're naked, this happens."

"Oh. But it's not fully hard."

"No." He sighed. "I've been thinking very non-sexual thoughts to try and prevent that from happening."

"Hm." I hummed and went back to looking at it. Apparently all the attention had perked it up, because it was definitely bigger and more upright than before. "Looks like it's grown." I noted aloud.

He rumbled, sounding equally amused and exasperated. "That would be because you're talking about it and looking at it. It's harder for me to ignore."

"Makes sense." I paused, thinking. "So why were you trying not to get hard anyway?" I glanced back up at his face.

He looked a little surprised and his eyes widened a little and then narrowed, giving me another one of those looks of his, this one sharper and more heated. "I get harder the more aroused I get. The more aroused I get, the more I want to do things with you. And I've been attempting to restrain myself and go slower for you, since you seem to be nervous about it."

I blinked at his straightforward answer, both turned on and shocked. So he had wanted to do stuff, but had been holding back for my sake? Well, yeah, I could see why he thought I wouldn't be up for it, since I had acted so nervous the first few times we did things, and really, we hadn't done a whole lot.

We'd been dating for a good long while now, but we hadn't really advanced as much as most couples would have by now. I'd suspect that most couples would have done everything at this point, but the most we had done was making out, and heavy petting through our pants. We hadn't even touched each other below the belt skin to skin, aside from the wet dream I had had. A large part of that was work, both of us so busy and stressed out that there were periods of time where we simply didn't have the energy to do that sort of stuff. Dating, when you're both ninja, and especially when your boyfriend was the Kazekage, turned out to be rather tough.

The other thing that had been holding us back, despite both of our crazy attraction for each other and need to do stuff like that, had been my own issues. It was quite simple, I had some problems, and they prevented us from going as fast as most couples. All of my insecurities, all of those irritating fears about commitment and intimacy from my childhood, and from everything else that had happened to me in my life, were definitely slowing us down. Being almost raped probably hadn't helped me any either.

I knew that if it were any other guy, I probably would have been dumped by now for not putting out. The fact that Gaara was still patiently waiting for me, eager but holding himself back for my sake, and hadn't gotten mad at me or threatened to leave if I didn't do something, made me feel all squishy inside. My heart squeezed and then filled, my love for him only increasing with the realization.

I really wanted to do stuff with him, the lack of physical intimacy this past week or so driving me nuts, and I knew it was the same for Gaara. And at the moment I had very little fear, considering all that funny stuff in my system, so this would be the perfect opportunity to advance that dimension of our relationship. But on the other hand, I would need to figure out where I was comfortable with, beforehand, because I didn't want to go and do something that would freak me out tomorrow, because that would probably put us back a step and actually lower my comfort level with him.

We had touched each other's genitals over our clothes, but I hadn't really been able to get a good feel of his dick through those rather stiff black pants that he always wore, and suddenly I got a very strong urge to explore him fully without that obstruction, the curiosity and lust rising in me.

"What exactly are you thinking about right now?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Gaara's amused and aroused voice, slightly rougher than usual with lust.

"Hm?" I glanced back up to his face, realizing I had been staring at his dick for the past few minutes and that now it was definitely standing at attention. "Oh. I was thinking about…well, what you said about holding off because of me. I'm so sorry, I know that must be driving you up the wall. Most guys probably would have broken off our relationship by now because of just how fucked up I am." I grimaced, flicking the side of my head for emphasis.

His gaze softened and he walked over, kneeling in front of me and cupping the side of my face with his hand as he stared intently into my eyes. "You're not fucked up Ren. You've just been unlucky enough to experience some very terrible things, and that would hurt anyone. Scars are painful. Before Yashamaru did…what he did…he told me that wounds to the heart are the most difficult to heal, and that love was the only remedy. I know your wounds are very deep, and will take a long time to heal. I'm happy to wait and give you all my love so that you can heal from those wounds. Never apologize."

I blinked, my eyes watering and my mind numb with shock. This impromptu, very rare, Gaara-speech was something I had never expected. _How does he always catch me off-guard with these emotional heart-to-heart speeches of his?_ I swallowed thickly and smiled, a little wobbly, and reached up to cup his hand on my cheek, tilting my head further into his palm as I gazed at him.

 **Gaara POV**

Coming out of the shower, he continued to firmly hold the idea of Kankuro in a pink speedo in his mind, determined to not get fully erect and scare Ren off. He cherished the fact that she was now comfortable enough to be around him while they were both naked, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

He knew she was still dealing with her fears, and he felt no resentment about that. All he wanted, was for her to come to him as she was ready. Of course he wanted to caress her, and have her touch him as well, and eventually he very much wanted to be able to have sex with her. But he knew that might be a long ways off, and while he couldn't help that his body was impatient and urging him to hurry her up, he was perfectly content to wait for her.

As he reached for his towel, she suddenly piped up and commented on the state of his dick, and how she had never seen it flaccid before. The shock sent him whirling around to face her as he gaped, utterly bewildered and dumbfounded, while also being highly amused. His shock only increased as she laughed and poked fun at the way the male body was built, pointing out that it had the potential to make quick movements a little awkward, as he had just demonstrated. Eventually his shock dulled a bit and he grew even more entertained, still thoroughly bemused, but finding her amusement very humorous. The fact that she was comfortable enough to talk about his dick that way made him very happy, perhaps a little too happy. Because suddenly it was impossible for him to ignore the situation, even with Kankuro doing a jig in a girlish pink bikini in his mind, complete with a kitten on top of his head.

His gut clenched and his dick began to throb as it started to stiffen further, and he sincerely hoped she was ready to deal with that. As they continued to converse about it, eventually she noted the increased size and thankfully didn't seem to be frightened of it. If anything she appeared to be somewhat confused and curious.

After he told her point blank, why he had been attempting to not get aroused, she grew silent, looking contemplative, and she just so happened to zone out while staring at his crotch. He shifted, his arousal mounting at her continued stare. Eventually he had to ask her what in the heck she was thinking about, to have her staring at his dick so intently, because it was starting to drive him up the wall.

When she apologized for being fucked up, and for not being able to do stuff right away, even depreciatingly saying that most guys would have dumped her by now, his chest seized up, and his breath was momentarily knocked out of his lungs. His body was still aroused, but suddenly his mind was somewhere totally different, and he took the steps necessary to come to her. He knelt in front of her and reached up to hold her face in his hand, to get her to look at him and see the sincerity in his eyes as he told her what he thought about the situation, and how he felt about her, and why he wasn't at all concerned about waiting, and why she should never apologize for that again.

Her eyes watered and she blinked, gently placing her hand over his own where it was cupping her face, and she tilted her head into his palm, almost nuzzling into the caress. She looked at him with eyes that were so tender, so full of affection and love, that he sucked in a breath, fighting his own watery eyes for a second. It never ceased to amaze him how things with Ren could change so abruptly, a lighthearted situation becoming deep and meaningful in the blink of an eye.

She sighed and turned her head to nuzzle her lips into the palm of his hand, placing a gentle kiss there. And then she whispered into his skin, "Thank you Gaara."

He felt like he should be glowing, with the way he was so full of warmth and happiness. It was during moments like this that he truly felt like the horrors of his past were completely washed away. Ren had that special ability to make him feel as if he had never been a monster, as if her light could cancel out his dark.

She turned her head back and leaned forward, kissing him. He felt the familiar jolt as her soft lips met his and he immediately softened to the caress, returning it with his own mouth. She pulled back after a second and leaned her forehead against his, nuzzling his nose with her own, as she whispered, "I love you so much."

He almost gasped, but held back at the last second, managing to reduce it to sucking in his breath quietly. They were both so unused to showing emotion, or talking about it, that they rarely said those words to each other, although he knew eventually it would be easier for them both. So the soft admission made his whole body light up in flames, and he felt a flush bring warmth to his cheeks from the utter happiness he felt.

He lightly brushed his lips against hers, feeling like the contact burned with the way he felt at the moment, and gently whispered back, "And I love you. So very much."

She did gasp, and they stayed there for a moment, forehead to forehead, and just drinking in each other's presence. After a good few minutes of simple happiness, Ren startled, and her forehead shifted against his as her face turned down a little. And then she said, in an amused tone of voice that was still quite gentle, "Looks like you're still aroused, even after I got all silly and emotional."

He twitched, surprised once again by her straightforward talking about his dick. Maybe he should get her drunk more often if she was going to be so open with him. He chuckled lightly, amused, and responded with, "And you're still naked."

"Oh right." She chuckled, knowing what he meant. After a moment she very gently laid her hand on his chest and lightly ran a finger along his collarbone, making him shiver at the ticklish, pleasurable sensation. And then she murmured, "Could I…touch you?"

He sucked in his breath, all his brain power suddenly coming to a halt at her question.

 **Ren POV**

* * *

 **Lemon/limeish type stuff coming up. And Lemonade too. If you don't like citrus, go away!**

* * *

I bit my lip, staring down at his dick, which was very erect now and pointing up in his lap as he knelt in front of me. I swallowed, waiting for his response to my question, pretty sure he wouldn't be opposed to the idea.

He cleared his throat, and shifted. "You are touching me." He murmured hoarsely.

I huffed, lightly smacking him on the chest. "You know what I meant! You want me to say it? Alright then, can I touch your dick?" _Yay, for inhibitions!_ I was amused and slightly exasperated at his method to get me to clarify what I meant.

He hissed and shifted again, and I definitely saw his erection throb, twitching very obviously. I would suspect that was a yes. He cleared his throat again and said, "If you want to…then, yes, I would very much like that."

I sucked in a breath, super excited and just a smidge nervous, and the mix made me shiver a little. I was very glad that I had put on underwear already, because it meant I could spread my legs to more comfortably access him as he knelt in front of me. I slid my hand down his chest, bumped over the ridges in his stomach, and hesitated just a second before coming into contact with the head of what I was aiming for. I was stumped for just a moment, not really sure if I should slide my hand behind it and continue down his stomach to the base, or if I should just jump onto it.

I got a little frustrated, by the awkward angle and everything, and so I pulled back, sitting up, noting the way his eyes flew up from where they had been trained on my hand approaching his dick to my face. His eyes were slightly anxious and questioning, probably thinking I had gotten freaked out or something.

I hurried to answer the silent question. "Scoot back would ya? This angle is too awkward."

He blinked and hurried to scooch back as I got off the bench and sat on the floor in front of him. I eyed him, thinking about how to do this. Then I crawled forwards a little and, finding his knees a bit of an obstacle, I gently slid one hand between them and tapped the back of my hand against the inside of one. He got the message and parted his knees a little, then he sat back and with a surge of his body his legs unfolded and lay on either side of me, one of them bent a little at the knee. I scooted forward even more until I was kneeling between his legs and had full, comfortable access. He leaned back and propped himself up on his hands, giving me more room to work with.

I eyed him for a second and then decided there wasn't really a right or wrong way to start, so I just went for it, tangling my fingers in the bright red hair at his groin and giving a very gentle tug and then a pet, kind of as a way to sooth my nerves and ease into it. His hips jerked up and he hissed a little.

I glanced up and asked, "Sorry, did I pull too hard?"

"No." He said, his voice tight and a little strangled.

I grinned. "Good."

Then I curled my fingers around the base of his erection, and was instantly shocked by several things at once. Just the feel of it wasn't exactly what I would have imagined. It was a whole lot harder than I expected, and I couldn't help but wonder how anything on the human body could get this hard without bone or cartilage. It was so very strange. His body temperature was even higher here, and as always I was amazed by how hot his temperature ran. The only explanation I could come up with was that it had to do with having Shukaku setting up shop within him. And then as soon as I touched it, there was this weird rushing feeling under his skin as it twitched in my hand. The only thing comparable would be holding a hose with rushing water underneath, but it wasn't a constant rushing, it was just the one surge and then it stopped.

I jumped and squeaked, thoroughly surprised, and murmured, "What the….?" Looking at it closer.

I tightened my grip a little and moved it so it was pointing up, and again I felt that strange surge go through it, and I saw the way it twitched and the head got bigger for a second, growing darker in color. "Is that blood pumping through it? That weird…sort of pulsing going on?"

"I suppose so." He said, his teeth gritted a little.

I gently slid my hand up an inch and then down again, and then slid up further to about halfway, and then down again, just getting a general feel for it. On the second pass it throbbed again and I watched as the head got darker and bigger again. It seemed that it would do that, probably getting all engorged with blood, and then would slowly go back to regular erection size after the pulse. It was fascinating to watch. As I slid my hand up and down a few times I noted the way the skin slid back and forth over it. The edge of what I supposed must be his foreskin would slide down until it unfolded entirely and lay flat against his shaft, and then would fold back up to mostly covering the tip on the upstroke.

I was curious, so I moved my hand all the way up and investigated the tip, gently wrapping my hand around there and pulling down the slightly looser sheath of skin around it. Really, the more I felt the velvety soft skin wrapped around his dick, it reminded me more and more of the skin that covered that bud of nerves at the top of my cleft. It was very similar in texture, and sliding it back and forth covered and revealed the head, similar to the way I could do with that flap of skin. Actually, the head of his penis even looked a little like that bump. It was the same sort of deep pink almost red color, and even sort of a similar shape.

Intrigued, I gently slid his foreskin down all the way to get a closer look at the tip, noting the ridge around the head that separated it from the rest of the shaft. It looked sort of strange. The side that I was facing was where the foreskin connected up underneath the head in sort of a cleft, and shortly above that was a tiny hole, which is where I would assume the semen came out. Over all, the head was the oddest looking part of it, but even though it was a little weird to me, it didn't disturb me at all. Overall, it was simply new and interesting to me, and also very, very exciting of course.

For a minute I let go of his dick and dropped my hand down to his balls, curious about those too. They were incredibly strange, the sack a whole bunch of loose skin that was super soft and wrinkly and felt pretty damn delicate. This skin was probably much closer to the skin that made up the folds of my genitals. It was the same sort of slightly wrinkly, super soft tissue. I could very distinctly feel the two balls in there, and I very gently rolled them around in the palm of my hand, and his thighs tensed a little to either side of me as a very soft groan came from his throat.

I glanced up to make sure I wasn't hurting him, but his face was total pleasure and not at all pain, so I went back to messing with those for a minute before gently setting them back down to hang and moved my hand back up to his dick. Now that I had finished my exploration, I focused more on how to get the most pleasure out of him, trying to find out exactly how to touch him, and what he liked the best. So for that, I looked more at the rest of his body and his face for cues, while sliding my hand up and down his shaft. I kept my grip light and my pace slow at first, judging how he felt by the way his stomach tightened up and his thighs tensed next to me. His breathing got a little faster and I glanced at his face to see how he was doing. He glanced up from watching my hand and met my eyes for a moment, the lust burning in his eyes so brightly my stomach dropped and then fluttered.

He held the incredibly intense eye contact for a moment and then looked back down, watching me touch him with an avid focus that would have made me embarrassed if I hadn't been a little drunk.

 **Gaara POV**

He felt like he would be going insane pretty soon, if Ren didn't touch him a little more firmly, because as much as he loved her gentle caresses, they were teasing him in a way he wasn't accustomed to. A deep growl worked through his chest and he closed his eyes, which only intensified the sensations and made everything harder to bear.

He gritted his teeth and a groan issued from his throat and he forcefully held himself still for her impossible touches. After a moment though he couldn't control himself and his hips bucked up into her hand rather vehemently, and he heard her gasp in surprise. And then she chuckled, which certainly wasn't what he had expected her to do, and he opened his eyes to look at her in shock. She had an amused expression on her face, mixed with all the arousal, and she had a mischievous grin on her lips.

She met his gaze again, quite boldly for her, and asked teasingly, "Am I being too gentle?" with a twinkle in her eye.

He narrowed his eyes and growled, "Yes." His voice coming out exceptionally deep and vibrating his whole chest.

She snorted and her hand immediately tightened substantially as she sped up her achingly slow pace. He gasped and his head tossed back for a second as he absorbed the sensation, feeling his gut tighten insanely as his hips bucked again. A few moans snuck out of his throat, and he leaned back further on his arms.

 **Ren POV**

I was utterly enthralled with his reactions now. As I sped up and gripped him firmly, his back arched a little and his head flew back as his jaw clenched. His head came back up quickly to watch and I could feel his legs tremble just a little next to me as his hips bucked. I could sense him getting closer, and I noted the sand that starting to creep in under the door to the bathroom, and I kept an eye on it, watching its advance as it coiled and curled its way sensually across the floor.

I tightened my grip again, rubbing faster, and his arms gave out. He went down onto his elbows, propping himself up that way. As I gradually increased the speed and pressure I could feel him trembling harder and harder, his body tensed up, and I watched curiously as his balls seemed to gradually draw up snug against the underside of his dick. I assumed that was also a sign he was getting close. I could feel his dick pulsing in my hand more as well, jerking every now and then, but my hand was moving over him so fast now I couldn't feel it as much.

The sand reached us and I saw the way it bumped up against Gaara's thigh and crawled over, heading my way. He twitched, but I guess he was so used to it doing this sort of thing when he was aroused that it didn't bother him. I was still a little unsure about it, but when I felt it hit my thigh as well I let it slide on up, knowing it was going to be touching me one way or the other, and probably even more so when we ended up getting into longer activities. I wasn't really trying to prolong his release, but I knew that at some point our activities might increase in time, and that would mean the sand would have more time to spread around. So I figured that I should probably just go ahead and get used to the mischievous stuff.

I continued to stroke him, and his heels started to dig into the floor, thrusting his hips up to meet my hand on every downward move now, and I knew he was seconds away from reaching his peak. I did my very best to not shift my rhythm or startle when the sand crawled across my lap, undulating in a strange way that actually felt kind of pleasurable. I snapped my thighs together as I felt it dipping lower, but some of it snuck in the crack between my legs anyways and started working its way up.

I tensed, tempted to stop, but continued to move my hand over him, even though my heart was pounding and I could feel my thighs tremble at the strange sensation of sand. Thankfully right before it reached the juncture of my thighs, he climaxed with a shout, his back hitting the ground rather harshly, and his entire torso arched for a second before his hips jerked, spasming. He panted loudly, gasping as his dick jerked in my hand and started pulsing. I watched, a little shocked, amazed, and certainly very turned on as suddenly white stuff spirted out of the tip, landing on his stomach and making kind of a messy situation. I relaxed my grip some and let his hips thrust himself into my hand as he wanted, knowing he was probably very sensitive after cuming.

The sand got super active when he reached climax and squirmed around between my thighs, not quite touching my underwear, but uncomfortably close, and I gasped, moaning just a little in disturbed pleasure as it caressed my thighs.

His eyes opened as the sand started to withdraw and I looked down, watching as is crawled back out from between my thighs. Gaara sat up a little too, watching it with a good deal of shock as it slid off us and out of the room back under the door.

"Sorry…" He panted, sounding embarrassed, and flopped back down onto his back.

"It's okay. You didn't know what it was doing." I shrugged.

There was a long pause and Gaara's face grew a tad uncomfortable, his brows scrunching a little, as he tilted his head to look at me. "…actually…I can feel it."

I blinked, shocked. "What do you mean you can feel it?"

He sighed. "I can…feel…through it. I could feel your thighs when it touched them. I can't control it, at least not very well, but I can still sense through it."

I blinked, shocked again. "Like when you do a sensory jutsu with your sand?"

"Similar to that yes, but it's a little different, more instinctual. It's actually quite pleasurable."

I blinked, shocked and confused. "Feeling through the sand?" I didn't understand how that could be pleasurable.

"Feeling _you_ through the sand. It feels different, as if I can…sense you in a different way. And yes, it is very pleasurable."

"I see." I blinked. Still shocked. I totally wouldn't have expected it, but it was actually kind of arousing if I thought about it, knowing that he could feel me through his sand, and that that aroused him, or he gained pleasure from it somehow. After a moment, I reassembled my scattered brain and cleared my throat. "Okay. Good to know. I think I'm getting more comfortable with it, so we'll see how that goes."

He relaxed, having obviously been worried about my reaction. Then, there was a long moment in which he caught his breath and I watched him, feeling inordinately happy about successfully giving him pleasure in this way, a little smug even. In the sand conversation, I had forgotten that my hand still rested on his penis and I very gently removed it, making him hiss and twitch a little. I took a look at some of the white stuff that had gotten on my hand, poking it with a finger from the other hand.

It was a little gooey, and sort of weird, and kind of lumpy, but I supposed the lumps were the sperm, and it intrigued me, but also grossed me out just a little. So I poked it and tested the consistency between my fingers, and generally kind of messed with it until it didn't seem so weird anymore and didn't really gross me out anymore either.

* * *

 **End of Lemon: But only for a little bit. There's another one coming up.**

* * *

After a moment, Gaara sighed and grabbed the towel he had dried himself off with and cleaned the white stuff off his stomach, tossing the dirty towel into the dirty clothes hamper. We got up after a while and retired to the bedroom. I crawled under the blankets in the bed, feeling satisfied, even if my body still was aroused and kitty was yammering at me in my head. I was happy with giving Gaara pleasure, and so as he came under the covers with me I nuzzled my back up into his chest and he curled around me as the lights went out.

We lay together, with him completely curled around me, in the darkness, and I sighed, waiting for my body to calm down so I could go to sleep. We lay there for perhaps five minutes, and then I twitched, a little surprised, when Gaara's lips touched the back of my neck. He pressed gentle kisses there and on my shoulder, and that certainly wasn't helping me to calm down at all. I had just been getting to a point where I thought I could go to sleep and with that small touch everything woke up again. And then his teeth very lightly pressed into the skin right up under my ear and I felt him latch on, his mouth sucking. A sound popped up out of my throat, a small moan, because it felt surprisingly good and then I grumbled, "Gaara, if you want me to go to sleep you're going to need to stop that."

His teeth disengaged from my throat and his lips slid up to the shell of my ear. "Do you want to go to sleep?" He questioned softly, his breath tickling me.

I blinked. _Oh._ My stomach tightened. "Uh. I thought that's what we were doing?" I squeaked as his tongue licked the curve behind my ear.

"Is that what we're doing?" He whispered, now nipping my earlobe. I jumped.

"Would you stop answering my question with a question?" I huffed, amused and put out at the same time, and majorly aroused by his silky low voice threaded with mischief.

He laughed softly, the deep exhalation puffing against my shoulder as his lips dipped to kiss my collarbone. I hissed.

After a moment he pulled back and sighed a little. "I can smell your arousal."

I flushed a little at the announcement. "Yes. Undoubtedly." I grumbled. "Your point being?"

He sighed again, a little exasperatedly this time. "Do you really not understand what I'm suggesting?" He rumbled, his teeth nipping a little harder in frustration against the point of my shoulder.

I yelped. A very deep, nearly inaudible chuckled rumble from his chest, and I felt it more than I heard it. I shuddered. _Oh boy._

"Er…let's pretend I'm really that stupid and I need you to spell it out for me." I mumbled, and despite the mild buzz still in my head I was starting to get embarrassed. It was so much easier for me to do stuff to him, than it was to let him do stuff to me, for some reason. I supposed it had to do with control, and I was uncomfortable with the lack of control that being aroused and letting someone bring you to climax entailed.

He hummed and I felt him give me a tiny lick on the back of my neck, and then followed it with a nip. "Very well. I'm suggesting that I return the favor you just gave me."

I trembled, figuring that that's what he meant. "Um. Aren't guys supposed to be…sort of… _done_ once they've cum?" I whimpered, confused as his hand lightly caressed my stomach.

"Tired, yes. Done, not necessarily." He mumbled into my shoulder.

"But I thought that your arousal was supposed to go away after that. I mean I've heard that once a guy is satisfied he doesn't want to do sexy stuff anymore." I huffed, still thoroughly confused.

He hummed, sounding amused, and his other arm jostled me until it slipped under my body, curling up around me as well. It was a good thing his mattress was so soft and squishy, otherwise lying on his arm would have been very uncomfortable. As it was, it just sunk into the mattress a little and wasn't too bad.

"And who says I'm satisfied?" He purred into my ear, and I couldn't help the tiny moan that bubbled up in my throat. _Good god, why is he so good with words? Which is really ironic since he doesn't use them that often…_

* * *

 **Lemon warning: Just in case you didn't know**

* * *

The arm under me locked around my waist, holding me in place. I gasped as his other hand slid up, stroked over my breasts, and his fingers lightly ran over my neck. "But…" I managed to gasp in protest, one that he cut off pretty quickly by gently grabbing my jaw and turning my head to meet his kiss. I moaned into it, as it immediately became open mouthed and deep. He kissed me thoroughly for a minute and then released my head and I let it flop back onto the pillow, my neck cramping a little.

"If I haven't done anything in a while, I can cum and then wait ten to fifteen minutes and cum again. Sometimes even a third time, just depending on exactly how aroused I am and how long it's been since I last relieved myself. So I would suggest you not assume that I can't pleasure you based on some gossip you've heard."

I grumbled at his bossy, smug tone, both turned on and irritated by it. "Well good for you. You should know that you've been responsible for me having that exact same problem. I relieve myself only for you to go and do something that arouses me again. Like in the bathroom that one time, when I was trying to be all sneaky about it. Then you had to go and announce you were going to do the same thing and boom, I might as well have not done it in the first place." I fussed, and he chuckled, amused by my little temper tantrum.

He put a stop to it as his arm under me unlocked and slid up with his other hand, both set of fingers attacking my breasts. I jerked and gasped, flinching back into him at the assault of pleasure to my senses as both nipples were gently pinched, twisted, rolled, pulled on, and every other thing he could think of apparently. A few sounds escaped my chest and throat, even though I tried to be quiet about it all, and I trembled as my arousal mounted at an alarming pace.

I bucked and squirmed against him, unable to really help myself, and I could feel his revived erection rubbing against my behind, which based on what he just told me, probably shouldn't shock me. My arm, which was up underneath the pillow under my head, curled up and my hand grabbed onto the pillow's edge, trying to latch onto something to ground me. My other hand fisted the sheets underneath me, up by my face.

He did that for a good long while, until I was an unstable, trembly mess, and then his hands released me, and I collapsed, my body twitching as I tried to catch my breath. His arm under me slid back down and wrapped around my waist again, locking me against him firmly. I wasn't sure I liked what felt like a restraint. _What exactly is he planning on doing that he thinks he needs to hold me still like this?_

His other hand slid down my stomach, and I knew where it was headed, and wasn't entirely sure I was ready for it. It veered off to my surprise, and instead slid down my outer thigh. Then his hand shifted and he grabbed me, close to my knee, and lifted my leg up and back over his thigh. I gasped, tensing. His hand slid back over my waist and then started going down again, this time obviously aiming for the juncture between my thighs. A weird muscle in my hip cramped from holding my leg up and back in such a strange position since gravity made it want to slide back down.

"I don't think I can hold my leg like this for too long…my muscles don't like it." I protested the position he had chosen.

His hand went back down to my leg and held it there, taking the full weight as my hip and thigh relaxed, and I sighed.

He nuzzled my neck and asked, "So this is better?"

"Yes."

His hand slid down my leg, back behind him to my ankle, holding my leg's weight from there. "And this?"

"Is still fine. It's not the position, it's just holding my leg there that's the problem."

And then I felt sand encircle my ankle, taking the place of his hand as he moved it, and I gasped, surprised that his sand was now in charge of holding up my leg for him. "Is this all right?" He questioned, his hand perching on the curve of my waist.

I waited a moment, shifting my hips a little to get more comfortable, and since I didn't have to hold my leg with my muscles, the sand doing the work for me, that muscle didn't cramp again. "My hip isn't cramping anymore."

"And my sand doesn't bother you?"

"I'm only a little uncomfortable with it when it's out of your control and getting frisky. And even then it's mostly okay."

He rumbled, a sound that expressed pleasure, and murmured, "Good." Kissing my ear and sliding his hand down my stomach again.

I hissed and tensed against him, a little nervous about this, and realized that while the sand did help, it was also yet another restraint, and I wasn't entirely sure I was okay with that. But then again, I also knew he would release me if I asked him, so it didn't worry me too much.

His hand traveled down, and he touched me over my underwear, cupping his hand over that whole area to start with, I suppose to get me used to the touch. I jerked, my thigh automatically tensing, my legs wanting to close out of a knee jerk reaction. Of course that wasn't going to happen, given that it was tied to the bed at the moment. He left his hand there for a moment, letting me adjust, and my urge to close my legs passed. He very gently rubbed his hand over me, just using the pressure of his palm, and I moaned, even that unlocalized touch feeling incredibly good given just how aroused I was.

But it certainly wasn't enough, and after a while he picked up on the way my hips were squirming restlessly, and my gasping probably also clued him in. He moved to his fingertips and slid them up to the top, finding that bud. As soon as he touched it with a finger, almost accidentally as he hunted around, my body bucked, and a whine escaped me. He immediately honed in on that spot.

 **Gaara POV**

As soon as his hand touched her over her underwear he was shocked again by the heat of her here, the thin cloth of her underwear was nothing like the pants he had touched her through last time. They were soaked, and were much easier to feel through, and immediately he got a better idea of what he was dealing with, the folds much more obvious to his hand.

After a while it seemed that what he was doing with the heal of his hand wasn't enough, based on the way her hips were bucking and twisting, seemingly out of her control, so he switched to fingers, hunting around in the sodden material for that small bump of flesh, finding it much faster this time since he could actually feel it through the thinner material.

Even though he could feel so much more through her panties, he was desperate to feel her without any sort of barrier, needing to feel exactly what it was that he was touching, wanting to touch her skin directly and be able to feel the texture of it.

 **Ren POV**

He very delicately rubbed me there, being gentle since the first touch had me jumping almost violently. It was much more intense this time around, the thin cloth of my underwear not providing much of a buffer, and my spread legs exposing it more for his touch. I shivered and bucked as he lightly ran his fingers over it, the light touch making it burn.

All this bucking was making my hip start to cramp up again. "My hips moving isn't good in this position…" I managed to gasp, not sure if it made sense, since it was accompanied with a moan.

Gaara's fingers paused, and then he shifted, moving out from behind me and rolling me on my back, like last time. I felt the sand around my ankle dissolve. He moved back next to me, and his fingers touched me on my stomach and then slid down again, this time hooking in the band of my underwear.

"May I take these off?" He asked softly, kissing my ear.

I sucked in a deep breath, not entirely sure about it, but so aroused I found myself really wanting that, even as the embarrassment of it made my cheeks flush. "I … guess so…yeah."

He paused. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He tucked his fingers under them and slid them down, I lifted my hips and assisted, bringing my legs up and grabbing them, flinging them off to land somewhere in the room. And then my feet landed on the bed, my knees bent, and my thighs closed as I worked up my courage. His hand found its way into the fluffy hair at the apex of my thighs, and he worked his fingers into the frizz, working it similarly to the way I had his, tugging and petting gently. Surprisingly it felt pretty damn good.

"Can I…see you?" He asked hesitantly, knowing that he was pushing me pretty hard right now.

I bit my lip, really finding the idea super embarrassing, but I had seen and touched and explored all of his bits, and it felt kind of unfair to not allow him to do the same. And actually the idea, while making my face flush bright red, was kind of exciting too, in a weird way. I shuddered, wondering if I was actually considering it, and then decided that yes, in fact I was, and I felt the flush spread down as a wave of heat traveled through my body.

I swallowed thickly, licked my lips, and heaved a breath, making my decision. "Y-yes."

A very soft, very small lamp was lit beside the bed, enough that he would definitely be able to see everything, but soft enough that it wasn't offensive and felt sort of romantic. He blinked down at me, propped up on an elbow, and I blinked up at him, grinning a little at how silly I was being.

"I guess it's kind of silly for me to be so shy about it, huh?" I mumbled, still feeling that damn blush working its way down my chest.

His eyes traced over my face and then down my chest, taking in how red I was. "It's not silly." He said, leaning down and kissing me in the center of my chest, over the sealing jutsu.

I sighed, and relaxed a little, remembering that he had seen every part of me except that, so this shouldn't be that big of a deal, except it kind of was. I chewed on my lip. "It just looks, kinda different than the rest of me, and it's…you know… _that_ …"

He blinked and then pointedly looked down at his penis, and I followed his gaze. "Looks kinda different huh?" He murmured, gently teasing, and then looked back up, and I got the point. After all, his stuff also looked pretty different from the rest of his body too.

I took a deep breath, and he sat up a little more, scooting down the bed a little. He kissed my knee, and I shivered, closing my eyes and psyching myself up. _Not a big deal, not a big deal, totally not a big deal._ I thought, knowing it really wasn't but still feeling like it was, and feeling awfully silly about it. I straitened my legs, then felt really stiff, and so I forced myself to relax, and bent one knee out, just a little. I paused there, and then knew he probably still couldn't see anything, so I scooted my bent knee out a little more, as much as I could take given my current shyness.

I could feel the air there, and knew it was exposed, which made me blush even brighter. I kept my scrunched eyes closed, thinking about how I had been looking at him for a week now, and how I had reacted to seeing him for the first time, and how cool and fascinating and sexy that was. Based on that, I figured that's probably how it would be for Gaara, so I shouldn't be freaked out about it at all.

 **Gaara POV**

He parked himself next to her and waited for her to open her legs at her own pace, not wanting to rush her at all. He could see how embarrassed she was, and how shy she was. The bright red flush gave that away, and he felt honored that she still wanted to do this with him even despite that. He kissed her knee and waited patiently.

Eventually she slid her feet down, bringing her legs down flat on the bed, and then after a moment her leg furthest to him bent out a little. He glanced up at her face and saw that her eyes were closed tightly, probably feeling very embarrassed. He looked back down to see her scooch her leg out a little more. He figured that the faster he took a look, the faster he'd be able to reassure her that everything looked fine and dandy, and hopefully the faster she would be able to relax. So, driven by that, and by his own intense passion and need to see her, he leaned a little to the side and over her, peering at where he had been touching her a few moments ago.

He blinked, shocked, but not entirely surprised by what he saw, since he had already felt the folds. But feeling and seeing were two very different things. He took in the way the fluffy soft brown fuzz continued on from her pubic mound and down around the edges of it, framing it all quite nicely. Her slightly bent leg at the side had pulled the cleft open a little, and it appeared, from what he could tell, that there were two sets of folds, the outer set that had the fluffy down coating and seemed substantially thicker and more pillowy, and then a thinner, much more delicate looking inner set that very obviously came together at the top and bottom of the slit. The inner folds were longer, poking out from the outer folds, and were quite a bit darker, similar in color to the head of his penis, a very dark pink. The flesh that he could see inside the lips was a dark coral pink, and he sort of felt like he was looking into the throat of a clam shell, the kind that was very dark inside and creamy on the outside. Or perhaps a flower, with a dark pink interior, like a rose. In fact, the folds also could be comparable to petals, they were sort of ruffly like that. Or like drapery.

Overall, though it was a bit strange, and had certainly shocked him to start with, he determined that it was rather pretty, in an odd kind of way. It looked very delicate, and was a lovely color. His eyes hunted for that tiny little bud, knowing it was near the top where the two inner folds came together. He saw a fold of flesh there, almost a little hood of sorts, and assumed that must be its location. At this point he very much wanted to touch her, and explore all this wonderful new territory, but first he had to assure her that he wasn't disturbed in the least by the way she looked here.

 **Ren POV**

I lay, tensed, knowing he was looking, my eyes closed, and feeling myself slowly accept the fact. I was still embarrassed, but after a while I calmed enough to crack my eyes open and take a look at Gaara, hoping he wouldn't look disgusted or weirded out.

He didn't. His face only showed intense fascination, wonder, a little surprise, a good deal of arousal, and contemplation as he looked at me, his eyes darting back and forth as he took it all in. His eyes were surprising, the pupils big and dilated, and much more obvious than usual, darkening his gaze substantially, and they glittered with curiosity and lust.

I eased, simply watching his expressions shift as he looked at me, the surprise slowly melting away, the fascination getting brighter. Eventually, his eyes glanced up and he met my gaze. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about Ren. You're lovely."

I flushed with pleasure, and a little bit of shyness, finding his praise good to hear, even if I already knew from his expression that he wasn't repulsed. I cleared my throat. "Thank you. But honestly, don't you think it looks a bit odd? I mean I do, a little." I wasn't fishing for complements; I simply wanted to know what he thought about it.

He blinked and glanced back down. "A little perhaps. But not any more so than my counterpart."

"True."

After a moment he licked his lips and shifted. "May I touch you?" He asked, glancing back up eagerly.

I swallowed, knowing this was going to be intense, and a little nervous about that, but also kind of looking forward to it. "Yes."

His gaze shot back down and the fingers that were still buried in the tuft at the top shifted, going down the side closest to him, lightly touching the outer lip. I shivered, the delicate touch almost tickling. And then he ran a finger down the inner lips, and he fiddled with those, playing with them. I bit my lip, the feeling was intense, the skin to skin contact and the slippery feel of it much different than when he had touched me through my underwear. He delicately touched me there, feeling all around with the tips of his fingers very gently, but avoiding the bundle of nerves at the top at first. He investigate the part near the bottom of the slit, testing the way it gave a little there, a small opening visible since I had such an active life.

"Is this the opening to your…what did you call it? Va-something?" He inquired.

"Um. Vagina. And yes, that's the opening."

He poked around there a little very gently, just barely dipping the tip of finger in. I barely even felt it, only just a little pressure that let me know what he was doing. "It seems very…small." He noted the size of the visible opening, sounding concerned.

"Oh. That's just my hymen. It's opened some from all the fighting and stuff, but it's still partially closed. It's like a membrane over the opening, blocking it off."

He poked me, lightly testing the hymen, getting a feel for where it was based on the surrounding muscle. "I see. So the opening itself it actually quite a bit wider. But how is it opened?"

"The hymen is pretty thin I think, so when we…um…have sex, it'll tear."

He blinked. "But won't that hurt?" He asked sounding disturbed.

"I've heard it does. But I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I'm not particularly concerned."

"I would rather not hurt you. Before we have sex I'll try to break it more gently with my fingers."

I blinked, flushing at the suggestion. It wasn't a bad idea actually, but having him say it both aroused me and embarrassed me just a little for some strange reason. I guess my shyness hadn't completely gone away.

"I don't think I'm ready for…" I started, concerned that maybe he was thinking that was where this was going.

"I know. I simply want to touch you tonight. If that's alright."

"Sure." I sighed laying back down from the slightly sitting up position I had assumed as we talked about it.

He went from the bottom to the top, and I felt him very lightly messing with that flap of skin that hid the bump at the top. He very carefully bracketed it with two fingers and pulled it up, exposing the hidden bundle of nerves beneath. As he touched me there I tensed, even the delicate exploratory touches feeling super intense. He released the skin and dipped back down, and I realized he was gathering some of the moisture there when he dragged it back up to the top, his fingers slicker than before.

Apparently he was done with his exploration and had decided to figure out how to make me orgasm, because his slippery fingers came up and started messing with that bundle of nerves, very gently getting up under the hood. I jumped and moaned, the focused attention on that spot immediately setting my nerves on fire, and I felt my arousal shoot through the roof. I gasped and gripped onto the covers, hanging on as he delicately worked on that bump, up and down, side to side, and in a circle, variating speed and pressure.

I quickly let him know what was too much pressure with a gasped protest of, "…too much!" and he quickly caught on.

After a few minutes of experimentation he paused, making me look down. He had a thoughtful expression on his face, the kind that told me he had just had an idea. He looked up at me and reached over with his damp hand, gently grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand to where he had just been touching.

"Could you show me what you like?" He asked, sounding intrigued.

I flinched, blushing bright red. "That's a little embarrassing…" I mumbled.

"Why?"

I thought about it and couldn't come up with a decent answer. "I don't know."

"Show me." He got that bossy tone of voice.

I retracted my hand and pointed at him. "Don't you get bossy with me mister, or I won't do it."

He heaved a sigh and grabbed my pointing hand, bringing it to his face and kissing it before placing it back down on my crotch. "Please show me."

"Okay…but I really haven't done this very much, so I don't know how much help this will be for you."

He just blinked up at me calmly, waiting for me to get started.

I huffed, blushed brighter, and grumbled a little, but burrowed my fingers hesitantly through the fuzz up top, reaching the bundle of nerves. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sensation of my fingers and not the fact that Gaara was watching, although that was impossible to forget, and so I fumbled a lot at first. I hadn't done this a whole lot, but eventually I finally found a rhythm that I liked and I sighed, relaxing a little, the performance anxiety easing.

"Is that the only way you like to be touched, or does it change?" He asked curiously.

"Um. I like this way, and…" I shifted around again, finding another way that I liked. "This as well…"and kept that up for a moment, and then shifted again to something else. I did that a few times until he seemed to get the general idea of what I liked and the various combinations, and he gently nudged my fingers out of the way with his own.

I retracted my hand and went back to gripping the blankets as he worked on replicating what I had done. He shifted through a few patterns before he hit one that worked and I jerked, my hips bucking. He got the memo and stuck with it, very delicately rubbing me in a circle with just the right pressure and speed, and I quickly felt myself getting close to my peak. I had already been super aroused, and so it didn't take very long for the right sort of stimulation to get me there.

I tensed up as I got closer, feeling just a smidge of anxiety bubbling up within me, but I smacked it back down, not about to have any of that. My legs tensed and started to tremble, my hips moving of their own accord, and small sounds escaping my mouth. As I almost hit that ledge I stalled, feeling myself get all weird again, the anxiety growing. Which I found incredibly frustrating. Gaara picked up on it, and shifted, keeping his fingers doing what they were doing but bending to kiss my lower stomach very gently. He sat back up and said, "It's okay Ren, take your time. There's no rush."

I relaxed a tad, feeling some of the nonsense ebb at the reassurance, and I worked on unknotting the rest of it. I felt his weight shifting again, and felt his fingers shift a tad, fumbling for just a second as he moved but basically finding the same rhythm again. And then I felt breath on my breast and my eyes snapped open at the feel of his lips kiss me right next to the tip. I gasped, of the mind to make him stop, because it was new and different, and I wasn't sure what he was planning on doing.

"Gaara what are you… wait just a … st-sto… oh fuck it." His lips closed over my nipple and I lost the ability to speak properly, so my half-baked protest came out very odd and I just gave up on it, arching up into his mouth. The intense heat that his mouth possessed, combined with the feeling of suction and his tongue messing with me had my brains scrambled within seconds and I was gasping and moaning insensibly, the anxiety knocked right out of my head by the shock of the new sensation.

I almost immediately orgasmed, my body bucking. His mouth pulled away, which was probably a good thing I dimly noted, because with the way my body was jerking around, he might have bitten me accidently. His palm flattened out against me and I ground into it to prolong the orgasm, the wonderful sensations rushing through me and setting me on fire, my mind getting wonderfully fuzzy and all thought of anything at all flying out the window.

I slowly came down from my high and collapsed back into the bed, that now somewhat familiar sensation of bonelessness taking me over. As I recovered, Gaara took care of his renewed erection, surprisingly quickly, and I somewhat fuzzily realized that our activities must have gotten him pretty close. It was mere minutes after I finished before I felt the telltale sign of sand coiling up over my foot and up my leg, and then it was over, much too quickly to get me aroused again. After a few moments, we both cleaned ourselves off, and then went to bed and to sleep, curled up together as usual and Gaara's deep purr lulled me into blessedly peaceful dreams.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Sorry it's taking me so long to get the chapters out, school started back up, so it may be a little longer in between time. But I'll try to get them out at least every two days or so.


	76. Burn With Me: Chapter 58

Several weeks passed, and every day it seemed like the work increased. Everyone was starting to get all riled up about the Akatsuki, and every village was beginning to make preparations. Preparations for what exactly, no one knew, but we all suspected it was going to be nasty. We started arranging for food to be stocked in the storage houses, provisions for a time of conflict that was surely coming down the road. We started gathering weapons, and the regular forces were trained more and more. Patrols were sent out more often, spies were deployed in the villages we weren't allied with, and emissaries were constantly being sent back and forth between our allies.

It was getting tight, and as the Kazekage, Gaara had his thumb in almost every pie, monitoring and managing every aspect of the preparations. Which meant that we spent lots of time in the office as he poured over reports and drew up new instructions, went to lots of council meetings, and made daily trips around the village to check on the progress of everything.

We went to the hospital, where he made sure that all the necessary supplies were stocked and the surplice was saved in the warehouses. We visited the greenhouses, where he checked the inventory of herbs being grown, adding some new ones as they were requested by the hospital. We inspected the storage facilities, where he checked and rechecked the provisions and supplies stored there. We passed by the barracks, where he checked on the training of the regular forces, and visited the academy where he checked on the progress of the students. And we did all the other nonsense that Gaara did in one day.

It was getting to the point that, once again, by the time the day was done, neither of us were up to spending couples time together, wanting to just hold each other as we slept. Of course, we were able to get in kisses and caresses here and there, our new relationship demanding that we pursue our physical urges with each other. But thankfully Gaara chose not to push any more of my boundaries for the moment, and I guessed that he could see that I was too tired and stressed out to attempt doing new stuff. Doing new stuff, no matter how exciting, seemed to always stress me out a little. But even that, our touching each other, became less and less frequent as the stress kicked up and we ended up going to bed later and later and getting up earlier and earlier. As it turned out, getting aroused and orgasming took a lot of energy, and for a while, at least the last week or so, neither of us had that energy to spare.

It was rough.

And then one day, we received the news that the Leaf Village had been attacked, and an emergency meeting was held. "What happened?!" Gaara barked, as he briskly strode into the room, with me scooting along behind him.

Various people spoke all at once. "The Leaf Village has been attacked!"

"The Akatsuki leveled the whole village, and Lady Tsunade has been put in a coma!"

"The Akatsuki were defeated…but at a great price."

Gaara hushed everyone with a look from those pale laser-beam eyes of his and asked point-blank, "Was the nine-tails captured?"

"No. Naruto Uzumaki is still alive and in the village. In fact he was the one that saved the village."

Gaara nodded, unsurprised and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"War is coming." Gaara announced, and everyone grew quite. "It is quite clear that eventually we will have to come into conflict with this growing threat. We have been preparing, as you all know, for this eventuality. All the tailed beasts have been captured, except for two, not including Shukaku, and we have to expect the worst will happen soon. We must help our allies in their time of need. Temari, as the Sand Emissary, you will go and deliver emergency supplies to the Leaf. I will draw up a supply list with the assistance of Councilmember Hoshi. Be ready tomorrow."

Temari nodded, looking like she would go right this minute if she could. I knew the news of the attack on the Leaf Village had hit her hard, and that she was worried about Shikamaru. "Do we have any news on the…casualties?" She asked hesitantly.

"That's the strange thing. There were many injuries, but no casualties. Apparently the enemy had a change of heart and performed some sort of jutsu that reversed the death of anyone in the Leaf Village. The report is unbelievable." One of the councilmembers stated, sounding flummoxed.

I could see Temari visibly relax and breathe a sigh of relief. I did the same, having many friends now in the Leaf Village.

It wasn't too long after that, a week at most, when we received news that the eight-tails had been captured now, and everyone went into yet another, even more intense frenzy. Things began happening super-fast, and before we knew what had hit us, there was a summons for a 5 Kage Summit in the Land of Iron, the land of the samurai. Everyone was shocked, this sort of thing not having happened in a long time. It all came together so fast that almost immediately we found ourselves packing. Temari was in the Leaf Village at the time of the summons, so Kankuro was going to come with us, as Gaara's second guard and advisor.

That night before the journey, we lay in bed, staring at each other, after packing all our warmest clothes. "I have a really bad feeling about this Gaara." I whispered eventually, breaking the silence.

He slowly blinked. "I know. Me too."

"What are we going to do? I mean, do you really think that we're all going to go to war?"

"Yes. At this point that's the only way I can see this resolving itself."

I shuddered, snuggling closer. The idea of war was terrifying. Despite knowing that we were leaving early in the morning, I had the sudden urge to lose myself in him. I really needed the physical closeness and intimacy of our physical relationship at the moment, seeking comfort in him and our love for each other. And so I closed the distance between us and kissed him. He met me, and seemed equally desperate, and I knew, even though he put on a calm façade and acted like he was in control, he was frightened too.

* * *

 **Lemon/Lime Warning: sexy stuff coming up, avert your eyes if it's too much for you.**

* * *

We held each other tightly, our body straining together, both of us totally naked, and our skin touching each other so fully I wasn't even sure where he ended and where I began. It was simply my skin on his, and my mind didn't concern itself with where or what I was touching. Kitty was purring in my mind, no words audible, just a constant low rumbling that egged me on.

At a certain point, his hands were able to sneak between our bodies somehow, and he started caressing my breasts, which very quickly ramped everything up to the point that we both needed to do something about our arousal. It was awkward, and we had never done it quite like this before, but it worked out okay. I got my hand between us, fisting around his cock. I rubbed it as best I could with the position, but also let him be in charge of thrusting into it, which also rubbed his body against mine in a very nice way.

His hand also snuck between us, and he scooted down on the bed some, which meant that I had to readjust my grip on him, as he got his hand in between my legs. I propped my leg up on his thigh to make it a little easier for him. I had the much easier of the two jobs, since all I had to do was grip my fist around him, and do my best to move my hand up and down. He, on the other hand, had to find that small bud in all the mess that was my soaked folds, and then pick up the appropriate rhythm and pressure and speed that felt good for me.

It took him a while and his fingers fumbled a good amount, and it probably didn't help that he was distracted and still thrusting into my hand, but at this point I was so aroused that he didn't need too much finesse to get the job done, so he eventually found something that worked. It didn't take long for both of us to get very close. He approached his orgasm faster than I did, and I could tell he held off by the way his hips slowed their movements, and he focused more on his fingers for a minute until I caught up with him.

The sand started getting all active as usual, and I could feel it coiling around our feet and legs. A second ribbon curled around my shoulder, which was actually kind of nice in this position because it gave me something to brace against. That coil spread down my back and I used it to push myself harder against Gaara, the sand giving a little but mostly holding firm.

Surprisingly, I hit my peak first. I curled into him, my mouth pulling away from his as I pressed my forehead into his chest and groaned, gasping as my body contracted, curling into a little bit of a ball as I went through my spasms. I somehow managed to keep my fist clenched on him. Actually, I probably squeezed him even harder while the pleasurable sensations racked me, and his hips bucked nearly violently against me. Shortly after I orgasmed, he did the same, his hand coming out from between my legs to pull me tighter to him, somehow insinuating his hand under the sand to touch my skin. The low growl that had been building in his chest ramped up and then broke on a loud groan and suddenly we had a sticky situation in between the skin of our two bellies as I felt him pulsing in my hand.

* * *

 **End of Lemon**

* * *

We very slowly calmed, and Gaara rolled onto his back a little so I could more easily curl into him, resting my head on his chest and draping my thigh over his hips. After a moment of catching our breath, we cleaned ourselves off with a pair of socks that had been lying next to the bed, neither one of us feeling like we should leave the bed, and then we fell asleep, curled together. Gaara's deep soothing rumble and Kitty's ongoing purr inside my mind lulled me to sleep.

The next morning I woke, groaned, and shifted. As usual I found myself in a very similar position to last night, with my hand on his chest, my head propped up on my arm, and my ankle draped over his. After a while, once my mind had become a little more aware, I frowned at the slightly uncomfortable itchy sensation going on and reached behind me, sliding a finger down into the upper part of my ass and fished out a few grains of sand that had become incredibly annoying once I noticed them. It took me a little while to dust all the individual grains out of my crack, even though there were only a few of them, and they hadn't gotten particularly low or deep. They were mainly just in the uppermost part closest to my lower back, but they were difficult to locate.

After a minute or two, I grumbled at Gaara, who had stirred and was looking at me with some confusion on his face. "Your sand is going to prove to be a problem if it sticks around in my butt after our _activities_. You need to teach it some manners my dear."

His eyes popped open wide and his jaw dropped. "You have sand in your…?"

"Just a little bit, and only at the top, but seriously, it's annoying."

"Roll over."

"Say wha'?…mmph!" I started speaking and then he rolled me over and my mouth got stuffed with sheets. I mumbled my protests into the bed as he peered over my back, and his hand reached over me and gently touched the top of my butt. Then he slowly ghosted his fingers over the crack and then up my spine, just a little ways.

I yelped and then snorted as the very strange sensation of maybe 10 to 20 grains of individual sand were drawn forth to his fingertips and when he withdrew his hand I knew I was sand-free. He moved back into his own space and I rolled onto my side, spitting out sheets and giving him a stern look for being so impatient and bossy as usual. He was holding the tiniest ball of sand and looking at it with some consternation and a great deal of amusement on his face, the corners of his lips twitching almost spastically.

"I think you might have to de-sand me every time we do stuff." I noted drolly, finding the fact a little annoying, but mostly just amusing.

"Indeed."

After that strange awakening, we both hustled to get ready to go. Already having packed the night before, it was a very short affair, and we were soon leaving with Kankuro, bidding various councilmembers and friends goodbye as we started off on our journey.

Of course the twins were there and made a huge scene, bawling their eyes out and sandwiching me between them. I glared at Kankuro, noting the way he was trying very hard not to laugh. After a moment I had to very gently detach myself, assuring them that everything would be perfectly fine and I would be home soon, and finally told them to just calm down already! We hadn't had a lot of time to hang out lately, considering my job as Gaara's bodyguard, so I really did miss them a lot and desperately wished I could spend more time saying goodbye, but we were on a pretty tight time-table.

Right before we left though, a member of the council stepped forwards and called me. I turned, looking at him, a tad surprised. He was a councilmember who was heavily involved in the hospital, and was one of the newer members, being specially chosen by Gaara. I hadn't gotten to know him very well, but the soft-spoken brown haired man seemed very likable. If I remembered correctly, his name was Takashi Morinozuka.

"I just wanted to give you this…" He held out a long package, and I took it, curiously opening it.

I gasped, shocked at the contents, and Gaara came up beside me, also quite surprised. "Is that…?" He murmured, his voice rough.

"…yes…" I whispered, my eyes wide. And then I turned to the councilmember and asked hoarsely, "How did you..?"

"I was one of the ones responsible for that report given to you. Its location was in some of the information I discovered and as soon as I found out, I figured it should go to its rightful owner."

My eyes watered, just a tad, and I blinked briskly. "Thank you."

He nodded and trotted away.

Eventually we were able to set off and we started at a pretty decent pace, eating up the miles quickly. It wasn't exactly a quick hop to the Land of Iron, so we had a good long ways to go.

The first night was a tad awkward, as the three of us set up a tent and bedded down inside. Customarily Gaara slept on the edge of the tent in these situations, unless he simply left the tent altogether. He went by habit and took that spot, which put me in between him and Kankuro, who I had never slept next to before. Kankuro and I looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, but after a minute I sighed and sat down on my bedroll next to him.

I turned and held out my hand for him to shake as I said, "Hi, I will be your bedfellow for the night. I apologize in advance if I kick or punch you in my sleep."

He laughed, gave my hand a good shake, and responded, "Thanks for the warning."

We all lay down, and Gaara's sand put out the light of the small lamp hanging from the peak of the tent. _Well this is awkward._ I was so used to cuddling with Gaara at night now, that it felt very strange for me to be lying next to him like this, but not curled into him as I usually was, and I was pretty sure it would be impossible to sleep like this. After a few moments of lying stiffly on my back, I sighed and just decided _to hell with it_.

I rolled over, my back to Kankuro, and went ahead and snuggled into Gaara, laying my head on his chest as was usual for me. He easily accepted my decision, wrapping his arm around me as he usually did, despite the fact that on the ground it would probably go to sleep.

Of course Kankuro had to make it even more awkward by saying, "Hey now! Don't you two be getting up to any business with me in the tent! That just ain't cool!"

I heard Gaara growl, and felt my own chest vibrate in irritation. "Get your mind out of the gutter Kankuro! I'm just getting comfy! Sheesh." I barked, looking at him over my shoulder.

He snorted. "Sure you are. Just don't get _too_ comfortable."

"Oh fuck off." I grumbled, putting my head back down on Gaara's chest.

I heard Gaara chuckle very softly, probably only loud enough for me to hear, and I heard Kankuro snort. After a moment I got over my discomfort and started going to sleep, not remembering to put up my wind shield since I was so used to sleeping with Gaara by now.

 **Kankuro POV**

He had known they were in a relationship now, but it was so very strange to see them being so comfortable with each other. It took him a few minutes to come to terms with it, but despite the shock, mostly he just felt really happy, and simply couldn't help teasing them.

After a few minutes it got very quiet in the tent, and very peaceful, and he slowly started to doze off. But he was in store for a few more surprises, and jerked back awake at the strange, deep, rumbly sound that started up. At first he thought Gaara was growling, which put him on high alert, thinking that maybe an enemy was near, but after a moment he realized that it wasn't a growl. It was too consistent, and much too gentle, lacking all aggression, and eventually he came to the conclusion that Gaara was _purring_.

His head popped up off his pillow and he stared at his younger brother in shock. And then a wide grin spread across his face. Very softly, so as to not wake Ren, who he thought was asleep, he whispered, "Gaara. Dude. Are you purring?"

The purring stopped, and both Ren and Gaara said at exactly the same moment, Ren's voice muffled and sounding half asleep and Gaara's low and irritated, "Shut up Kankuro."

They all paused and then there was a smattering of laughter throughout the tent at how synchronized Ren and Gaara had been, and they all relaxed again. After a while that purring started up and Kankuro snickered, unable to help himself. He saw Gaara's hand backhand the air, flicking up and off Ren's shoulder for a second, and then he realized why as he was smacked in the face with sand.

He sputtered, and Ren groaned, "Would you boys quite it? Or I'm gonna have to pillow-smack both of you."

He cringed, remembering how she had efficiently boxed her teammate's ears with that evil sturdy pillow of hers, with a chilling calmness that was almost as frightening as the loud thwap it had made. He knew that had to hurt, so he shut up.

After a few minutes, the purring resumed and he didn't respond to it, keeping his chuckles to whispers quiet enough that they didn't hear. Eventually he calmed down and was able to drift off to sleep, actually finding the sound to be quite soothing, once he'd gotten over the amusement value of it.

He was woken once again though, after about ten minutes when Ren jerked next to him, and made a very disturbing sound, sort of like a choked off scream. His head snapped in her direction and he sat up, afraid once again that there was an enemy somewhere. His eyes had just found her in the darkness of the tent, the glow from the full moon leaking in and giving him enough light to watch with a good amount of shock as Gaara reacted with a smoothness that surprised him. His younger brother bent over her and… _what the hell?_ His jaw dropped as he caught a glimpse of what looked like Gaara biting Ren's ear.

Ren jerked again, muttering, "Wha…?"

"Nightmare." Gaara very quietly responded.

She sighed and mumbled something like. "Oh. Thanks." And was almost immediately back to sleep.

Kankuro sat there as Gaara's eyes closed and he seemed to go right back into his meditation. He slowly processed the fact that Ren had just had a nightmare, without any warning, and that Gaara had dealt with it by biting her. He blinked, not really sure what to think about that and slowly lowered himself back to his own sleeping pallet. It took him a few minutes, but eventually his mind stopped whirling and he was able to fall back asleep. Only to wake, once again as he felt Ren start shifting around next to him. He tensed, expecting her to scream again, and slowly cracked an eye open when she didn't.

He glanced over subtly, pretending to still be asleep, and watched as Ren tossed her head, making a very tiny distressed sound in the back of her throat, kind of like a sob. Once more, Gaara reacted immediately, more quickly than Kankuro could believe, and he bent over her again. Kankuro watched, expecting Gaara to bite her again, which he still thought was strange, but whatever. But instead, Gaara very gently seemed to start kissing the side of her face, and Kankuro quickly averted his eyes, feeling like he was intruding on a very private moment. What he'd seen wasn't at all sexual, but it was so…intimate that he felt uncomfortable watching.

He couldn't help but hear though, the almost inaudible sounds of Gaara kissing her, and what sounded like very soft whispers and murmurs, that he mostly thankfully couldn't understand, but got the gist of what his little brother was saying as he picked up on a lone, "…it's okay Ren, shhh…"

To his surprise he felt Ren settle down rather quickly, her disturbed sounds trailing off as she sighed contentedly and seemed to quiet, never having actually woken. He couldn't help but feel proud of his little brother, that he had somehow managed to stop what had obviously been another of Ren's brewing nightmares without even waking her.

It was then that he was struck with the realization that they had something very, very special. He had always known their bond was deep, you couldn't look at the way they acted around each other without seeing that. And he had known for a long time that they loved each other, even before they acknowledged it themselves. But this had only made him realize just how perfect for each other they seemed to be.

And following on that realization was another. For Gaara to be this practiced, they had to be sleeping together now. He grinned, knowing he would have something to tease them about in the morning. He drifted off to sleep again, looking forward to the morning now.

Through the night he was woken several more times by Ren's nightmares, either just with her shifting, or with one of her louder sounds, and each time Gaara calmed her quickly. Kankuro couldn't help but feel a little sorry for both of them, so have to deal with this little amount of solid sleep. And he felt a little sorry for himself as well.

 **Ren POV**

The next morning I woke up to the sound of deep, loud, snoring, which I knew wasn't Gaara. I groaned and mumbled, "Was he snoring this loud all night?"

"It just started up recently." Gaara responded.

Noting that it was time to get up I sat up, and turned, waking Kankuro up by shaking his shoulder and saying in an overly cheerful voice, "Good morning sunshine!"

He snorted very loudly and sat up, wiping some drool off his chin. I grimaced. _Ew_. We quickly broke down the tent and started off, all of us eating compact foodstuffs on the run. Kankuro snuck between me and Gaara and said, "So…"

I groaned, knowing that whatever he had to say was probably going to annoy me, judging from the gleeful note in his voice.

"You guys are sleeping together now, aren't you?"

I tripped and nearly did a face plant, but Gaara caught the back of my shirt, pulling me upright, and I was able to regain my footing. I turned to Kankuro, giving him the hairy eyeball. "Now see here, Mister, I'm going to tell you what Gaara told Temari. What we do in either of our bedrooms in none of your business."

He laughed, paused, grimaced, and then laughed some more. "Ew. Okay, that's _not_ what I was asking. I didn't mean sleep together as in having sex, I meant sleep together as in sleep together. But now that you mention it…have you guys done it yet?"

I tripped again, Gaara choked, and we both stumbled a few steps in shock. Thankfully I was able to catch myself and not fall. Both of us turned to glare at him this time. I growled, "Did you totally ignore what I just said?" At the same time Gaara spat, "Fuck off Kankuro."

Kankuro laughed, nearly tripping himself up, and wheezed. "Wow. Yeah, I'll be taking that answer as a no…" and then he laughed some more. Gaara and I growled next to him. After a few minutes he spoke up again. "But anyway, back to the first question, about actually sleeping…that's not too embarrassing for you guys to answer right? I mean, seriously…"

I huffed, knowing he was going to pester us about it until we gave in. "If I answer, will you shut up about it?"

"Yeah. Sure. No prob."

"Fine. Then yes, we are. I've answered your question and you can shut your pie-hole now."

"Yeah, figured as much." He grinned.

We continued on. It took us about a week to get to the Land of Iron, and several more nights of weirdness. I slowly grew somewhat accustomed to it, but it still felt exceedingly odd by the last night. The farther north we traveled, the colder it got. Soon we were putting on coats and layers, and I found myself wearing some fuzzy long underwear from wrists to ankles, that I never thought I would wear. I dealt with the uncomfortable temperature change as best I could, and of course Gaara was stoic about the whole thing, but Kankuro immediately started complaining and shivering.

"Damn it's cold. I didn't know it could be this cold."

"Holy shit, why is it so cold?"

"Goddammit, it's way too cold. How does anyone live here?"

"For fucks sake! It's freezing!"

And so on.

After the hundredth complaint I growled, "Yes, it's below freezing Kankuro. We are all cold. Stop complaining!"

"But it helps to complain…" He whined, shivering and chattering his teeth together.

"Really? Alright then. I can't feel my fingers or my toes. My nose is so cold it hurts to breath. My teeth hurt from clenching them so they won't chatter together. Listening to you has pissed me off. I think I'm getting icicles on my eyelashes. And of course Gaara doesn't look cold at all."

"Feel better?" Kankuro huffed, laughing.

"A little bit, yeah. But still…I'd rather not express every discomfort for the whole world to hear." I grumbled.

"You'd have to say it pretty loud for the whole world to hear. That's a jutsu I'd find pretty damn impressive."

I huffed a groan and a laugh. "Oh shut it Kankuro."

He just guffawed.

After a while I turned to Gaara. "Hey Gaara. You _are_ cold right?"

"Yes." He responded, in his most monotone voice.

"Ah. Good to know. You hide it very well."

"Hm."

"Eloquently put, as always my dear."

Kankuro snickered, getting a kick out of our normal banter.

We finally reached the gate and were ushered in, Kankuro almost looking like he had to pee he was shifting around so much, obviously super eager to get inside the warmth of the big stone fortress. The samurai were very polite and we were ushered into a suite with three separate bedrooms, the Kage Summit being tomorrow. The accommodations were very nice, sparse, but of good quality, and we slept well.

Or I would have, if I was a normal person. As it was, going into my own room, without Gaara, now felt very strange. We had been sleeping together for…months now I guessed. It was difficult for me to even pin a time to it, never being very good with time keeping anyway. And apparently, the consequence was that it was very difficult to sleep in a bed by myself now, which I was just finding out the hard way.

After several hours of tossing and turning, I groaned and heaved a sigh, opening the connection between Gaara's and my minds. I supposed I could have just gone and joined him in his room. But samurai were strange and very…proper, and I didn't want to risk insulting someone. An unmarried man and woman sleeping in the same bed might not be received very well here.

 _You still awake?_ I thought to him…pretty much knowing the answer

 _I'm not entirely sure I need to answer that._ Gaara soon responded, his mental voice feeling very amused and not particularly tired in the way mine was, but perhaps a little fuzzy and drowsy.

 _Yeah. Thought not. So what do you think is going to happen tomorrow?_ I asked, still very worried about it. That was the other reason why I was having so much trouble sleeping.

 _I don't know._

I sighed. _You're not verbose at all, even in your head. Why does that always surprise me?_

 _I don't send you all of my thoughts. Do you send me all of yours?_

 _Good point. True that. It would get way too complicated. I wish I didn't have to worry about all this etiquette and shit. Not sleeping together is driving me up the wall._

There was a long pause. _Me too._

 _You too wish that we didn't have to worry about etiquette? Or you're also being driven up the wall?_

 _Both._ His mind voice felt both amused and a little exasperated.

 _Well, why are you being driven up the wall? I mean you don't need me to sleep._

 _Is that the only reason you miss me?_

I paused, realizing that I missed him, not because without his presence I had trouble sleeping, but rather because I just…missed him, and missing him made it difficult for me to sleep. I missed his body beside mine, and at that thought I also realized that I missed the physical intimacy of sleeping together. I wished he was beside me so I could cuddle up to him, so I could touch him and kiss him and…do other stuff. Oh.

… _No._ I thought back to him, realizing I still hadn't responded to his question.

 _Exactly._

Stuck by an amusing idea, the thought flew across our connection before I could filter it. _So…you're horny?_

There was a certain amount of strange mind static that I got through the connection, the mental version of choking up or tripping over your own thoughts as Gaara worked through his shock at my statement. I grinned, always enjoying the shock value of things on Gaara. It never ceased to entertain me.

 _Do you say these things just to shock me?_ He eventually managed to ask, with a good dose of amusement, surprise, and aggravation to accompany the thought.

 _What…how did you know I was enjoying your shock?_ I thought, surprised.

 _How did you know I was shocked?_ He countered.

 _I could feel…oh. I was sending static too?_ And then to myself I thought, _Duh, of course I was._

 _Is that what you call it?_

 _Yeah. The weird background feelings you sometimes get across the connection? I call that static._

 _Interesting word for it._ He felt both amused and interested.

 _I'm glad you appreciate it. So are you horny?_

 _I am now. Thank you for that._ He grumbled mentally, and I could feel both his exasperation and his arousal come across our connection.

 _What? How is me asking you if you're horny, make you horny?_ I asked, bemused and finding it excessively humorous.

 _It's a self-fulfilling prophesy._

 _Guys are weird._ I summarized.

 _Perhaps._

 _ **Gaara's always horny when it comes to you sweetie.**_ I jumped at the mischievous voice of a certain Tanuki that sometimes had the habit of interrupting Gaara's and my conversations.

I heard Gaara give off some majorly irritated static, along with some shock and embarrassment.

 _Ehm, okay. Anyways…_ I continued where we left off, to the amused laughter of Shukaku.

We continued to talk like that for most of the night, of and on, in between the few sporadic fits of sleep that I did manage to acquire. It helped to calm my nerves. Generally. Of course Shukaku and Kitty randomly threw in some side notes that embarrassed us now and then, which wasn't exactly restful, but at least it helped to distract us from the potentially very stressful meeting tomorrow.

The next day, we made our way to the room in which the Five Kage Summit was to be held. I traded a look with Gaara, both of us a little on edge, and he went to take his set at the horseshoe shaped table, in between the Mizukage and the new Hokage. The new leader of the Leaf was a little…off, and just from the feel of him, I decided that I didn't like him at all. After the Hokage, sat the Tsuchikage, and then the Raikage sat on the other end of the table.

The samurai leader, Mifune, presided and sat at his own little table, facing the interior arch of the horse-shoe table. Kankuro and I sat behind Gaara, behind his banner, and the other guard/advisors took similar positions behind their Kage. After Mifune opened the summit, Gaara was the first to speak.

The Tsuchikage, who looked to be kind of an old fart with in incredibly red nose, immediately interrupted, saying, "Ha! My, my, how the Kage have changed. To be named Kage at your young age is quite impressive Lord Kazekage. Yet despite your father's obviously brilliant guidance, he seems to have not taught you any etiquette."

Kankuro immediately got super riled up next to me, jerking forward with an exclamation. I was likewise irritated, but I just patted Kankuro on the shoulder, silently signaling him to calm down. Gaara, on the other hand, just slid his eyes to the side to meet the gaze of the tiny, and apparently ill-mannered Tsuchikage, and he gave him a very bored, very sardonic, patented Gaara-blank-look.

He said, in that deep, monotone voice of his, "Yes. Probably. That's why I was chosen as Kazekage."

I nearly busted out laughing right there on the spot, tempted to congratulate Gaara on his excellent burn with a thought sent to him, but decided against it, not wanting to distract him unless necessary.

Even the Tsuchikage laughed. At least he was able to appreciate a good answer, even if he was rude, and I decided that he might not be all bad. The Mizukage, who was the only woman Kage there, and an extremely attractive woman at that, told the Tsuchikage to stop interrupting. Having her be the only female Kage present had me missing Lady Tsunade. I really liked the Hokage of the Leaf Village and sincerely hoped she would be getting out of that coma soon, because this new guy was giving me a bad taste in my mouth.

Gaara continued, saying that he was a Jinchuriki that had been captured by the Akatsuki. Kankuro was fussing next to me, still ticked off at the Tsuchikage. I quickly smacked him upside the head and told him to hush. I was very interested in what was going on right now, and not in dwelling on what had already happened. Gaara was currently putting all the other Kage on the spot by telling them that he considered the Akatsuki to be a great threat and that he had sought the assistance of the other Kage before but had been ignored, aside from Lady Tsunade of course. And it was true, I had been there in his office with him as he tried to form allies with the other Kage in this matter, having foreseen the path this would go. What really riled me up, was that other villages had already had their Jinchuriki killed, and hadn't pulled this meeting together. It hadn't been until the 8-tails was captured that anyone seemed to care. I had to respect the Raikage for that, it seemed that aside from the Leaf Village, and now the Sand Village, none of the other villages apparently gave a damn about their Jinchuriki.

Gaara finished by saying that a meeting now, was simply too little too late.

The Tsuchikage once again took opposition to Gaara and scoffed at him, saying that it was more normal to do covert rescue missions, and that for villages to ask for help from other villages was preposterous. He was obviously suggesting that making it known that your Jinchuriki had been stolen was something to be embarrassed about.

Gaara got mad, and said in his most condescending tone, "Appearances and status. Such foolish, outdated concepts."

Again, I found myself snickering quietly and thoroughly enjoyed watching Gaara give all these older folks a lecture.

The Mizukage went on to suggest that having the tailed beasts stolen wasn't necessarily cause for alarm, bringing up the point that it took a long time and great skill to control them. I wanted to clock her, hating the opinion that tailed beasts were just judged by the merit of whether they could be controlled or not.

The Tsuchikage agreed with the Mizukage, saying that it took a long time for a Jinchuriki to gain control over their tailed beast. The Hokage seemed to differ a tad in opinion, saying that true control had only been achieved by a few people, and the 8-tail that had been kidnapped, Killer B, had been one of them. I would have said that Gaara had full control over Shukaku now, but I refrained myself of course. And really, no one could _control_ Shukaku, he was too wily for that, you had to earn his respect and work with him.

Then suddenly, all hell broke loose. Next to us, the advisors for the Mizukage leapt out from behind their banner, setting off a chain reaction as all the guards leapt to attention. We all jumped in front of our Kage. I drew my swords, blocking a sword to the face from that nervous little punk of the Mizukage's. I was impressed that he had such a big blade, since he seemed to be such a timid little thing.

The Raikage yelled, "That's enough!" and put his fist through the table for emphasis. I raised my eyebrow at that, thinking, _well, that's one way to get people's attention._

Mifune sighed, seeming highly disappointed in all of us and told us firmly that, "The Five Kage Summit is a place of discourse. Please refrain from any more behavior that lacks civility."

Each of the Kage called off their guards, including Gaara. He quietly murmured to Kankuro and me to put away our weapons. That was fine with me, I'd just drawn them on instinct really, since I didn't appreciate having a big ol' sword pointed at me.

Everyone calmed down, and we all retreated back behind our banners, not entirely sure what all that nonsense had been about in the first place. At that point in the discussions, the Raikage got all aggressive and said that the Akatsuki were made up of members of all the other villages, aside from his, and even accused the other villages of using the Akatsuki from time to time. Gaara expressed a good deal of shock at the idea of Kage hiring the Akatsuki. I didn't blame him, it was a shockingly awful idea, but not unbelievable.

The Kage talked politics for a while, about how the Leaders of the 5 great nations were trying to demilitarize, but didn't want to get rid of heir ninja villages entirely, blah, blah, blah. It was all about money and funding, and war, and politics, and the like, but what really caught my attention was when Gaara noted that the way to get around that would be to hire mercenary assassins, like the Akatsuki, instead of using ninja. That was a very dangerous thought indeed, and I could tell he was fishing for information.

The Tsuchikage took the bait and went on to say that using trained military from one's own village could take costly time and money. I decided that he was basically incriminating himself when he said, "They can be hired quite cheaply, and best of all, they always deliver superior results."

 _Yeah, he's definitely used them before. The pompous little windbag._

The Raikage got all temperamental again, and I was starting to think that he just had an aggressive personality. He started accusing people, this time pointing out that the Sand Village had attacking the Leaf Village with Orochimaru, suggesting that we had purchased his services from the Akatsuki. _Wow he's sure misinformed there, poor guy._ I couldn't help but think it was sad he was making such big assumptions and I sighed, shaking my head and doing a face-palm.

Then the Raikage went on to accuse the Mizukage, saying that the Village Hidden in the Mist never entered into diplomacy, and that it was rumored the Akatsuki even started there.

To my surprise, the Mizukage accepted the accusation and said that there was speculation that the Mizukage before her had been manipulated, or controlled by the Akatsuki. I had to admire her for her honesty, it took guts to just come out and say something like that.

The Tsuchikage then went and told the Raikage to calm the fuck down and stop pointing the finger at everyone, saying that it was the Raikage's greediness for power, which had led to _him_ hiring the Akatsuki, to counter it. I just rolled my eyes, finding all their pontificating to be very, very boring and not at all productive. Then the Hokage intervened, thankfully, and broke out some news that shocked everyone. He said that it was quite probable that the leader of the Akatsuki was Madara Uchiha, which everyone knew was pretty much impossible, since the guy would have to be over a hundred years old, and he was supposed to be dead.

There were many protests, and the Hokage said that he'd gotten the information from a reliable source. The Raikage asked if that meant that the guy was immortal, and to my shock the Hokage didn't disprove that idea. No-one could be truly immortal, though there were jutsu that could get you pretty close, as Orochimaru had proved. Actually, considering that, it wasn't such a surprise that this guy was still alive, although it was a frightening prospect simply because of its abnormality.

Mifune then pointed out that the Akatsuki had chosen their timing well, since currently the five great nations harbored distrust for one another, and that the Akatsuki had used that to their advantage. _Well no shit there, I mean just look at everyone right now._ I thought sourly rolling my eyes. I had no appreciation for pontificating politicians.

The Raikage got all irritable again and fussed at Mifune, rather rudely telling him to get to the point already. I sighed and put my elbow on the table in front of me, resting my forehead in my raised palm, already over his anger management issues. Mifune just pleasantly told him to calm down, which I thought was hilarious and I snickered quietly while the calm samurai leader went on to suggest that we use this as an opportunity to form an allied shinobi force, from all the five great nations, until the Akatsuki are taken care of.

The Hokage agreed right away, which suggested to me that he had something up his sleeve. As soon as Mifune suggested that there should be a chain of command, the Tsuchikage immediately asked who would be in charge, getting all ruffled and I could tell there was going to be a big argument about it all. After a while of that nonsense, Mifune asked that we all let him decide who would lead these allied shinobi forces, which didn't really sit well with me, because he probably wouldn't choose Gaara, due to his youth and inexperience. Yet I knew Gaara would probably be the best candidate, because of his sound judgement, ability to calculate and strategize, and patience. And so I was unsurprised when Mifune nominated the Hokage, though I was a bit perplexed by his reasoning behind the decision as he explained that since the nine-tail Jinchuriki of the Leaf still hadn't been captured he would be a key player in the upcoming battle.

Gaara pointed out, rather calmly and politely, "The Sand Village still has Shukaku."

And then the Raikage said, a tad aggressively and accusatorially, as was his mode of operandi, "That's right! And you're harboring another Jinchuriki-like power as well!"

This seemed to surprise the other Kage, and I had to wonder how the Raikage came by this information. Aside from the Hokage, who of course knew about my possession since we had come into contact with the Leaf Village so much, it seemed that the information of Kitty hadn't spread.

At any rate, this threw a kink into the discussions and everyone started arguing again. I sighed and sat back, resigning myself to having to wait here for a good long time while all the Kage discussed and argued about stuff, from this proposed shinobi alliance, to each other's secrets, to accusations, to everything else under the sun. It was getting a bit tiring and none of them, aside from Gaara perhaps, seemed to be able to stay on topic. Even Gaara was getting distracted by everyone, which I couldn't blame him for, since they were all very distracting.

After a good bit of nonsense, everyone finally seemed to get back on topic, and started arguing about accepting the Hokage as the allied shinobi force leader. I didn't like it one bit. The guy was giving off some seriously bad vibes, and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, which was actually pretty far, so perhaps that wasn't the best analogy.

The Raikage seemed to protest the most, or at least the loudest, and said that _he_ should be the one to lead since his village hadn't produced even a single Akatsuki. Mifune said that he couldn't agree and pointed at the Raikage's splintered desk, saying. "I am aware that a certain amount of intensity is necessary to lead a force of powerhouses such as this, but a person ruled by emotions such as yourself would just end up splintering the alliance, just like you did that desk."

I snorted, finding the smack-down by the samurai leader quite amusing. I was getting so fed up with this Raikage guy, I mean, I knew he had just lost this brother and all, but he seriously needed to calm down or nothing productive was going to get done. We were all gathered here for one purpose, to take down the Akatsuki, and he was just being all antisocial and rude about everything.

And then the discussions were interrupted yet again, by the Mizukage's eye-patched guard, who once again randomly hopped out from behind the curtain, this time declaring, "Lord Hokage! Please show us the eye you keep covered by that bandage!"

Everyone was shocked and confused and I was split between laughing and getting pissed off, so I settled for choking on my own saliva and quietly started coughing into my elbow. The Tsuchikage was the first to protest with, "What's the meaning of this?!"

The guard went on to accuse the Hokage of possessing the stolen eye of a man named Shisui Uchiha, who I didn't know, but recognized the last name of course. The guard then went on to say that Shisui Uchiha had the ability to get into the minds of his opponents and manipulate them with the visual jutsu of his eye, and that it was so top notch that someone wouldn't even know they had been manipulated by it. Which of course suggested that this Danzo guy had that ability as well, and in fact, though it wasn't obviously said, it became clear that it was a distinct possibility that Mifune had been manipulated by this power.

The Raikage got all mad and punched his desk again shouting, "HOW DARE YOU?!" I flinched as his desk splintered even more and just shook my head, starting to wonder if he was entirely sane.

And then a big green bud popped up from the floor in the middle of the room, befuddling us all. _What the hell's gonna happen next?_ I thought wildly, about as confused and irritated by the strange proceedings as it was possible for me to be. This whole situation had turned into a big hot mess, and at this rate we might as well dissolve the 5 Kage Summit and start dancing around naked, because that would be just about as productive as this nonsense. I flinched, reconsidering that thought, because there were a few people here I really didn't want to see naked, ever.

The bud-thing, or whatever the hell it was, opened and exposed one of the ugliest looking guys I had ever seen, a pasty white fellow who seemed to be missing half a head. But he seemed awfully happy and peppy, shouting, "Well hell _ooooo_ there!" and giving us all a big grin. All the guards came out and stood behind and/or in front of their Kage, facing down this obvious intruder. Kankuro and I dashed out and I drew my blades, charging up some wind chakra in case he tried any funny business. Like hell was this ugly plant guy gonna hurt Gaara.

The Raikage spat, "One problem after another. Now what?!" And for once I agreed with the guy. This was getting fucking ridiculous.

The Akatsuki member, because that's what we were all pretty sure the guy was, then went on to say that Sasuke Uchiha had snuck into the building. Now why he would go and tell us that was beyond me, so naturally I suspected this whole thing was a setup or a trap of some sort. The Raikage jumped out from behind the table and grabbed Pasty Plant Dude by his neck, threatening him and demanding that he tell us where Sasuke was right now. The ugly enemy went limp, apparently choked to death, but I wasn't buying it and kept an eye on him just in case. I mean, he looked like a _plant_ , and that by itself was enough to make me suspect that just a good choking wasn't enough to do him in, never mind the fact that he was an Akatsuki.

The we were all distracted by the blond guard of the Raikage's saying that he had found Sasuke. Apparently he was a sensory type to have picked up on Sasuke's location, and the Raikage ordered the one-eyed guard to keep an eye on the Hokage before running off, bashing his way through walls as he went. All I could do was stare after him in shock and bemusement, wondering how in the hell he had become Raikage with so little control over himself.

Meanwhile, I sent out a fine network of chakra laced wind, searching the building for Sasuke myself. The one-eyed guard from the Mist shot me a glance, apparently able to see my fine-knit chakra network with that eye of his. Well, that was fine, I wasn't trying to hide it after all, I was just trying to find Sasuke. I simply shrugged at him in response and he raised his eyebrow, looking a tad impressed. Meanwhile, Mifune shouted an order to set the whole complex to a Battle 2 Ready Status, whatever that meant, and they all started to search for Sasuke. After a minute of hunting around within my net, I located Sasuke, on the ground level way below us.

I opened up my communication line with Gaara. _Gaara! I've located Sasuke! He's on the lower floors, in battle with the samurai._

Gaara's eyes shot towards mine and we made eye contact. He nodded. And then I grimaced as I felt the Raikage engage. The amount of chakra that I felt vibrating my sensory network was downright unpleasant.

I updated Gaara through our mental connection. _The Raikage got there, and they are seriously duking it out beneath us. I mean they are fucking insane._

Gaara subtly nodded and I felt his chakra flare as he responded. _Keep tabs on them, we'll be joining that fight soon ourselves._

 _Oh great._ I rolled my eyes, not looking forward to that one.

Meanwhile, Eyepatch Number One was confirming that Eyepatch Number Two, Danzo, didn't still have his visual jutsu on Mifune. The one-eyed Hokage got all huffy about it and said, "Oh will you all relax, it's not the kind of visual jutsu I can do that many times in one day."

Eyepatch from the Mist got all huffy right back and said, "I'll be the judge of that!"

I just shook my head. _Geez, these Kages sure do like to bicker a lot._ At that point, everyone ganged up on the Hokage and a whole bunch of threats were exchanged, which was unsurprising, given what he'd tried to pull.

Mifune put a stop to it all and very firmly said to the new leader of the Leaf Village, "Hokage, all ninjutsu is prohibited here! You have lost trust and credibility. A shame, since I might have still chosen you, had you not resorted to such tactics."

The Hokage apparently said ' _to hell with it'_ and just admitted it, saying, "But ' _may have_ ' wasn't good enough. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to protect the shinobi world. It's imperative that our whole world unite as one. Just as the first Hokage Hashirama brought together his clan and founded the Hidden Leaf Village, now we must merge all the villages and create one shinobi world. This shall never be accomplished through discussion and negotiation."

 _Well damn, there goes his plan._

Even the Tsuchikage disagreed with the guy, saying, "But it takes time and patience to actualize one's ideals. Impatience makes one shortsighted and invites failure. That's what happened to you."

I snorted. _Okay, this cranky old fart is quite amusing, I'll give him that_. His ability to dish out the lectures was something to behold. The two of them went back and forth for a minute, and eventually the Tsuchikage told the Hokage that we couldn't trust him, which was kind of a no-brainer. To which the Hokage replied, "Trust isn't important. Results are important."

To that, Gaara responded with, "If we can't even trust each other, if that's the state of our world and of being human, then we have no future"

The Tsuchikage turned to Gaara and grunted, "Eh? What does that mean?"

Gaara explained, "Without mutual trust and understanding, all that will remain in this world is fear and terror. I simply can't tolerate giving up so easily, or any plan that doesn't incorporate morality."

The Tsuchikage apparently found Gaara's ideals humorous, and chose to make fun of him by saying, "You pose such difficult concepts so simply. But you're a green brat who knows nothing about running a village. But I'll tell you what. Now's your chance to ask anything you'd like. As your senior, I'll answer any questions you have. Eh Danzo?"

Kankuro slammed his fist on the table and yelled, "Say again old man?"

I frowned at him and lightly smacked him upside the head, saying, "You dumbass, that's still the Tsuchikage! He may be a cranky old man with a foul mouth and no reason or sense in his head, but you can't just go and yell at the guy! Geez!" Kankuro gave me an oddball look.

Gaara ignored us and addressed the Tsuchikage. "Then. Let me ask you this." He said, in his deepest voice, which told me he was about to say something very interesting.

"Sure! Go ahead, no holds barred ask away!" The Tsuchikage announced, unknowingly setting himself up.

"When did all of you…forsake yourselves?" Gaara asked, with a good amount of judgement and scorn hidden in his deep, monotone voice.

After that, all the Kage reacted differently. The Mizukage smiled. Danzo seemed to be ignoring us, still sulking that his plan went wrong. And the Tsuchikage looked both offended and completely shocked. Meanwhile, I was snickering quietly and trying not to choke on myself.

After a moment I calmed down and turned to Gaara, asking him quietly, "So what now? Do we go after Sasuke?"

He muttered, "Sasuke Uchiha…." And then leapt into the air, taking off. I sighed and leapt after, used to his scooting off in random directions.

Kankuro on the other hand protested loudly. "Hey! Don't go running off without your guards!"

 _Which way?_ He thought to me, and I sent him a mental map, as best I could figure, of where exactly we could find him.

We swiftly made our way down to the battle, quickly beginning to hear the sounds of very loud fighting as we grew closer. We came in on the fight as the Raikage was about to touch down onto a really nasty looking black flame shield around Sasuke. Thankfully Gaara's sand was quick to react and zipped in between them at the last minute, protecting the Raikage's leg from getting burned along with his arm, which was already up in flames.

The Raikage was able to leap away to safety and Sasuke stood. Meanwhile, Kankuro had noticed that one of the samurai was up in flames, and he barked, "Ren!" and pointed, drawing my attention.

I nodded and sent forth a few precise cutting winds to sever the bonds in the armor as Kankuro pulled it off with his chakra strings. Thankfully, the flames hadn't penetrated the armor yet, and the man underneath was still safe.

And then the Raikage drew all of our attention rather abruptly. "Kazekage! Why do you interfere?! Your answer will determine your punishment!" He bellowed, and I rolled my eyes.

Gaara simply answered, "If you had continued to fight him, you would have been further injured by the black flames. Besides, I wish to speak to Sasuke Uchiha."

I took a look at the Raikage's arm, which was burning with black flames. "Hey wait a minute, are those the flames of Amaterasu? Oh shit! I read about those in one of my books!" I said super-fast and then set to thinking about how to save the guy's arm. I may not like him very much, but…I came up with an idea, and if it worked, it might help to gain favor with the Village Hidden in the Clouds. And of course I naturally wanted to help, no one wanted to see someone go up in flames after all.

"I'm gonna go help him, you got this?" I asked in reference to Sasuke.

Gaara nodded and I sprung over to the Raikage, getting there with the blink of an eye as I used my Telaria Jutsu. I stopped him right as he was about to cut off his own arm with an electrified hand, and he glared at me, my hand resting on his crackly wrist. "What do you think you're doing?!" He bellowed.

"I think I can save your arm." I stared at him with no nonsense, knowing that I'd better make this quick and to the point.

He frowned and barked, "Well get on with it!"

I frowned, displeased by that, but hurried it up, the flames creeping higher by the second. To start with, I wrapped a tight wind barrier jutsu around his extended arm, blocking off the flames from going any higher. Then I stretched my own arms out in front of me, putting one hand on either side of his burning arm, which was safely behind the wind barrier. I attached my senses to the wind, and discovered that I really didn't like the way the black flames felt against my wind. It was very…unpleasant, almost painful.

Suddenly my chest grew unbearably hot and I gasped at the same time one of the Raikage's guards shouted, "Your chest plate!"

The Raikage acted before I did, swiftly severing the straps over my shoulders, my burning chest plate falling to the ground. I gasped, and glanced at the Raikage, nodding my appreciation, and then glared down at my ruined armor. And it was a new one too, since I'd been forced to replace all my old equipment when it got torn off my body as I turned into Kitty.

Now, I was pissed. "Alright, so that's the way it's gonna be huh?" I growled, seeing the way the flames had crawled along under my wind barrier to get to me. I snarled at them and extended the airtight barrier, making a big bubble with the flames trapped inside with the Raikage's arm.

Then I said, "I'm gonna do this fast, but it isn't gonna be fun." And that was all the warning I gave before I sharpened the edges of the wind barrier and slid them into his skin a little. Using my sensory technique I was able to tell just how far the fire had penetrated his skin, which thankfully wasn't too deep yet, and so I simply slid my sharpened barrier down his arm, taking away the skin and first layer of muscle as I went. His hand was in worse shape, but even so, with a good medical ninja he should still be able to use it. He'd have some badass scars, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The whole process took less than a minute, since I worked super-fast, and the Raikage didn't protest once, simply watching me as I worked with a tense expression.

"There." I said, as I bundled up the still burning skin and tossed it off to the wall with my wind.

The Raikage nodded to one of his guards and said, "C. Stop the bleeding." The blond guy hustled forwards and swiftly attended to him with green healing chakra, stopping the bleeding and healing his flesh.

I nodded to the Raikage, who was definitely looking at me differently now, with a little more respect, and I hustled back over to Gaara, who was still in the process of trying to convince Sasuke that he could see the light, while Kankuro was doing his best to convince Gaara that Sasuke was a lost cause. Secretly I agreed with Kankuro, but I wasn't going to interfere, because I knew how Gaara felt about this, and I knew it was because of the way Naruto felt about it. My heart ached, thinking about Naruto, and how we might be forced to kill the friend he had risked so much trying to protect.

As Sasuke denied every offer and said that all he sought now was darkness, I saw a tear slide down Gaara's cheek, and my heart just about broke. I cringed, the pain and pressure in my chest almost unbearable, as I felt the intense sadness coming off him in waves. But I was probably the only one who noticed, since he masked his expression so expertly

Gaara was totally masked now, and politely told all the samurai to stand back, that this was a matter for the shinobi world and there shouldn't be any more samurai casualties.

And then he turned back to Sasuke. "Very well, if that is what you wish, then I shall fight you." Gaara intoned, his sand bursting forth from his gourd.

Sasuke charged Gaara, sword first. I was having none of that and drew the gift that I had received, which I had strapped over my back, thankfully with a separate strap from the ones that had been cut just a few moments ago. The long beautiful blade sang as I drew her for the first time, and the red hilt fit my hand perfectly, as if it had been made to be held by me. The long red ribbon that hung from her hilt swung behind me. She was wonderful. I would have teared up probably, if I had had the time, but with Sasuke charging at me the most I could manage was a brief surge of warmth in my heart. Her name was Kamikaze Tenrai.

I wasn't used to wielding a double-handed long blade like this, but with how perfect she felt, it made it easy for me to transition and I simply used her one handed, like my short swords, and took the extra length into account in my swings. I blocked Sasuke's blade with my mother's and the sound was like none I'd ever heard before when clashing swords with someone. It was like music, the way she sang clear high notes as she clanged against the other sword. I grabbed my hilt with both hands now and torqued my blade, forcing Sasuke's to lower. He disengaged his sword, pulling it back and away in an arch. He continued the arch's momentum, spinning in a tight circle to come back around and try to get me again, this time aiming low and fast towards my side. I pivoted and twisted my wrist, turning my blade so the flat of it lay along my side and thigh to block the cut.

My other hand grabbed the ribbon, which was actually made out of a superfine metal thread, and snapped it at his blade, wrapping it neatly and trapping it. In the same moment I turned my body and brought up a leg, kicking at the hilt of his blade to detach it from his hand. He was somehow able to twist his blade and slip free of the restraint, pulling back a bit to try to bring his sword down onto my neck. I kicked the tip of my sword up with my heel, swung it up and around in a circle to smack his sword down and to the side as I arched back and pivoted my body to avoid the deadly slash aimed at my neck. I snapped my spine strait again and with his sword briefly pushed to the side there was a second's worth of an opening that I took to step into his personal space and get a good punch in. I slammed my fist into his sternum and he bent at the waist, but recovered faster than I had anticipated and twisted his sword out from under mine, bringing it up and in between us to nearly disembowel me. I gasped and slid back, using a burst of wind under my feet to get me out of harm's way before he could do much more than give me a shallow cut on my stomach.

Sasuke jumped back and lit up his blade with lightning, so I did the same with Kamikaze, sending wind down around her length. As the chakra charged air wrapped around my new sword, I felt the hilt begin to vibrate just a little in my hand, and the blade started to produce a clear crystalline note. When Sasuke attacked, I was ready for him. As that sharp sword of his came down on top of me, crackling with lightning, I slid back my foot into a low stance and slashed my charged sword through the air and the wind sharpened weapon split the air with a melodic howl. Sasuke's blade came slicing at me again, and I blocked him easily, his sword crackling against mine and mine screaming against his. That lightning was a bit of a problem though, because it was crackling way outside of his sword and long sparks started zipping around, dangerously close to my hands and body. It felt like the electricity from his blade was sparking right in my face.

I flinched and hissed as a large bolt shot out and hit me in the shoulder, Kitty scrambling to route the lightning safely back out of my body with her own lightning nature. That stung, a lot. I was really glad that the air coating my blade made it not conductive, otherwise I would have an even worse problem on my hands. The red ribbon off her hilt snapped like a whip in the turbulent winds circling my body, and I drew chakra into me, ionizing the air surrounding me and making Sasuke's lightning crackle out of control in the highly charged atmosphere. It even popped him a few times.

The battle was becoming more and more dangerous, and Kitty lent me some of her lightning chakra to combat the lightning sparks that were zipping around me now. With her chakra flowing through me, the sparks barely stung, though I knew I would have some singe marks later. And then there was a wave of sand that descended upon us both, since we were locked in such tight combat. I gasped as I felt the enormous weight come down on me unexpectedly, and then the sand slithered around my body, spitting me out while it hung onto Sasuke. I landed and skidded a little ways, catching my balance on the fly as best I could.

Gaara had the sand wrapped around Sasuke now and his fist was in the air, holding the Sand Coffin Jutsu sturdy around him. And then he upped it to a Sand Burial Jutsu. I skidded back over to Gaara, sliding Kamikaze back in her sheath as I did. I wasn't a huge fan of being in the splatter zone when Gaara did his Sand Burial thing. This time though, there was no splatter, instead, the sand exploded. When the smoke cleared we were all stunned to see Sasuke standing within the upper half of an almost full skeleton, glowing purple, enormous, and totally unexpected.

One of the Samurai gasped, "What sort of power is that?!"

Gaara replied simply, "The power of darkness."

I didn't pay any attention to Sasuke's pontificating about how it was only achievable though the awakening of the Mangekyou Sharingan and all that stuff, I was more interested in looking at the thing and trying to find its weakness. The damn thing was huge! And sent off a chakra signature so nasty that it made my stomach cringe just being in the same room with it. _Egads._

And then he grinned a grin so evil it set my teeth on edge, and the guy named C shouted, "You sand folk had better get out of there!"

Gaara's sand came up, ready at the defense, which was a good thing because Sasuke had his big-ass skeleton thing swing a big-ass sword, and a big-ass surge of power came pouring at us. I was starting to think Sasuke had a size complex.

Gaara's sand slid in front, protecting us from the blast, but the impact landed on the pillars, and the ceiling began to crack. Everyone looked up, horrified as the ceiling began to collapse in big chunks, crushing some of the samurai, and threatening to crush the rest of us. A huge piece of the ceiling cracked and fell, right on top of us. At the same moment, another huge chunk of ceiling came down on the Samurai and the Raikage. Gaara's sand swiftly rose to catch the chunk falling towards us. The darn thing was so heavy he grunted and pillars of sand rose up to help support the weight held by his shield. And then, the ceiling collapsed in the center, and as it hit, the impact sent shards of rock spearing at us. I gasped as a shard hit me in the thigh, and I heard Kankuro say a few nasty words as something hit him too. I quickly set up a wind barrier in front of us, Gaara's sand being rather occupied with holding up the ceiling above us. And I didn't do it a moment too soon, as a couple of huge chunks bounced off the shield. Those suckers were big enough that if they'd hit, they probably would have killed one of us.

As the dust settled, the Raikage burst forth from another part of the debris, just punching his way out, which wasn't a surprise to any of us.

Gaara simply brought his raised arms down and flicked them forward almost dismissively, his sand miming him and toppling the big piece of ceiling off and to the side harmlessly.

"Well, guess we've gotta chase down Sasuke now…" I sighed, noting his disappearance.

The Raikage and C were already off and up the stairs and we followed in hot pursuit. As we ran along, we came across some of the other members of the summit, all gummed up with really disgusting goopy white stuff, and when you looked at it closely, it ended up being that white dude from earlier. Kankuro easily pulled it off with his chakra strings, and the Raikage likewise found it a simple matter to just punch it off with electricity. I felt sorry for the people the Raikage got to before Kankuro.

When we finally got to the meeting room, it was in shambles, and Gaara nodded at Kankuro, who quickly pulled the gunk off the few people still held by it. Mifune and the others quickly thanked us and we were swiftly updated as to the goings on here.

The Raikage turned to the Tsuchikage and asked, "Where's Sasuke?! What's going on here?!"

The Tsuchikage responded with, "I turned that brat to dust."

The Raikage lost it, bellowing, "HOW DARE YOU! I wanted to take him down!"

And then there was a disembodied voice echo through the room, which assured the Raikage that he would have another chance, as a figure slowly took form. He introduced himself as Madara Uchiha. And he had Sasuke draped over his shoulder.

He then went on to explain his plan, Project Tsukuyomi, and told us that he planned on putting the whole world under a giant Genjutsu of his making, after reassembling the ten-tails. It was a lot of pontificating, and as usual, his being an evil villain meant that he couldn't just get to the point, he had to go on and on about it, and so it took forever to get to the heart of the matter. By the end of it, we were all staring at him, horrified, semi-confused, and infuriated. So when he asked us to hand over the 8-tails and 9-tails, threatening to release the power of the other seven tailed beasts in his possession if we didn't, it wasn't too surprising that we all said no. Rather firmly. We were all highly disturbed by his story and his plan that he had so helpfully detailed and outlined for us.

Then he had the audacity to declare war on us, almost proudly announcing the beginning of the 4th Great Ninja War, and on that bombshell he disappeared, leaving chaos in his wake.

"All right then, what do we do now?" The Tsuchikage posed the question to us all.

Gaara answered with the obvious answer. "We must form an alliance."

We all agreed that that should be the plan of action. And then the question of the Leaf Village was raised, and naturally we all agreed that Danzo should be replaced as the Hokage. Gaara spoke up and said that he would relay the information of the Shinobi Alliance to a Leaf ninja that he trusted, which he identified as Kakashi. They all concurred with that decision. The Raikage team spoke of the necessity to track down and locate Killer B, the 8-tail Jinchuriki they thought they had lost, but apparently hadn't since Madara had just asked that we hand him over.

And then the discussion grew a tad heated as we argued over whether the Jinchuriki should participate in the upcoming fight, or if they should be hidden away, aside from Gaara of course, but the eventual decision was to keep them hidden away and protected. Over all, I thought it was a good idea strategy wise, but I knew Naruto wasn't going to have any part in it. But, we'd just have to cross that bridge when we came to it.

We all grinned as the Raikage said that his little brother, the 8-tails Jinchuriki, was unpredictable and might bring his own brand of chaos to the battlefield, to which Gaara said that the same could be said for Naruto. Kankuro and I snickered, agreeing wholeheartedly with that one. Mifune then put an end to the debate when he pointed out that for Madara to have gone to the trouble of discussing his plans first with us, meant that he was also facing unfavorable circumstances. He topped that with the unexpected announcement that the samurai would join this fight as well.

We eventually reached a consensus after that and the Raikage was elected to become the leader of the Shinobi forces. And so we all set out, all the Kage going in different directions. We headed out, intent on tracking down Kakashi. To that end, both Kankuro and Gaara halted outside of the building, waiting as I sent out a fine network of sensory wind, trying to pinpoint his location. While Gaara could also do this, he was currently limited by the amount of sand he had in his gourd, and I was unlimited, since the air was everywhere. I expanded my web, wider and wider, until I found them, surprisingly close by.

I quickly told Gaara and we set off at a run, while I kept tabs on them, to make sure they didn't leave before we got there. It didn't take us too long to arrive and soon we had come upon a beaten up hotel, and I snorted as we took in the big hole in the roof. "Well, if there was any doubt about where they were, I'd say there isn't any more."

"Yeah. No shit." Kankuro chuckled, equally amused.

Gaara stayed silent, intent on his mission. We arrived, to what seemed to be an already intense atmosphere, and I got the feeling that we were missing something. Gaara quickly relayed his information to Kakashi, and everyone seemed shocked by the fact that Sasuke had gone so far as to attack the Five Kage Summit. I could see the pain in Naruto's eyes, and my heart hurt for my friend, and his obvious suffering.

Gaara tried to comfort him, or at least to gently suggest that Sasuke was beyond help, and the best thing for him now, was to let him die, although he didn't say that. He only suggested that Naruto think on what he should do, as Sasuke's friend. I hissed as the hand that Gaara gently placed on Naruto's shoulder was rejected, Naruto shoving it off with his elbow.

I saw the hurt and confusion flash in Gaara's eyes for a split second and then he composed his face, and told Naruto that he considered him a friend, and that he would do anything to protect him. At that point we left. Despite Gaara's calm exterior, I could tell that he had been deeply hurt by Naruto's rejection of his friendship. I was unsurprised that he didn't speak as we continued our journey home.

On the way home, we stopped less, and took brief catnaps on the way, hurrying as fast as we could to get back to the sand village and prepare for war.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Okaaaay, so that took a little while to get out, but hey here it is! College is kinda annoying when you're trying to write. Sorry guys.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed the advance in plot. Things are gonna be happening fast now, and there may be some sexy stuff to look forward to in the upcoming chapters before the war really kicks off.


	77. Burn With Me: Chapter 59

When we reached our village, Gaara immediately went into Kazekage mode, not that he'd ever really relaxed into regular Gaara mode on the way home. We were immediately notified that the five leaders of the nations had ratified the decision to make an allied shinobi force, which was great, because that was one less thing to worry about. Gaara immediately called for a council meeting and had all the officials summoned. We all went to the meeting room, briskly changing out of our travel clothes beforehand.

Soon everyone had assembled, and Gaara relayed what had happened at the Summit. Everyone expressed, dismay, disbelief, and shock at the story. Gaara continued on to tell everyone about Madara's plan. Danzo was also brought up as a topic of discussion, and it was pointed out that he could prove to be very problematic, and would make it difficult for the other nations to be able to trust the Leaf Village. Ironically, at that point a messenger burst in, and relayed a message from Kakashi that Danzo had been killed by Sasuke. We were all shocked by the news, but grateful, because it solved that problem quickly.

And then Gaara said definitively, "While the Akatsuki are certainly strong, their ability to wage war is unknown. But the true strength of our Allied Shinobi forces, unparalleled in history, is also unknown. Earth, Water, Fire, Wind, Lightening, if we unite the power of all our shinobi, I believe we can counter the Akatsuki effectively. Above all, we must win this battle, or our world will end." He stood, taking on a deeper, more authoritative voice. "Begin stock piling ninja tools and rations, halt all official missions in preparation for battle, prepare a list of all shinobi belonging to the village, tell each platoon to start preparing their tactical plans. Now!" And he swung out his hand, ending the meeting efficiently.

Everyone rushed to do as he said, and the village was suddenly very, very busy. We had already been preparing for this eventuality for months, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But still, the actuality was upon us, and now we had to earnestly prepare, and everyone got serious. Everything happened very quickly, battle platoons forming among the shinobi of the village, drills started up, battle plans and strategies were concocted, ninja kits were put together, and supplies were shipped out.

With everything going on, Gaara and I were kept extremely busy, night and day, working, working, working. And the stress built and built, the anticipation of the upcoming war wearing everyone thin, and making everyone afraid. Everyone knew that people were going to die. Not everyone that left was going to come back. It was a distinct possibility that even the strongest among us might fall. Friends and family would be lost, it was inevitable, and emotions ran high.

As Gaara and I worked, the fear slowly crept up on me, like it did most other people, and I began to truly grow worried, worried that one of the few people I held dear to me, would not return with me. Or even that I might not return. While death was frightening, I was more afraid of being separated from my loved ones, either through my own death or theirs.

As the time approached for departure, the beginning of the fighting drawing ever closer, I became more and more convinced that I would not go into this thing with any regrets. If there was even the possibility that Gaara and I might be separated by this horror, I didn't want to lose the last few nights we had together, and I already felt our time slipping away from us, as we continued doing what needed to be done.

But finally, it seemed that everything was in place, and there was a brief moment of respite, a moment that I knew many families would take, sharing what might be some of their last meals together, spending family time together with loved ones. I took some of this time to spend with my brothers, for a few brief hours, eating a meal with them and joking with them, and loving them, knowing that this was the calm before the storm. I would be beside Gaara, as his body guard, and depending on where they were placed, I might not even see them till the end of the war, and at the end of the war…I may no longer be able to see them again.

Afterwards I left, feeling the pain tugging at my heart, but smacking it down with the assurance that they were strong, and couldn't possibly die. That was the only thing that let me let them go. And then I went home, back to the apartment that I practically shared with Gaara now, mine barely ever used anymore. As I entered, I noted Gaara, sitting on the couch, double checking all the papers and making sure that everything was in order…for the hundredth time.

"Gaara…everything is fine. You know that."

He heaved a sigh, dragging his hand through his hair and giving me a stressed look. "I know…but I…" He trailed off, looking pained.

I knew what he didn't say, he loved his village and would do anything to protect them, and now he had to send some of them off to their deaths. So he was doing his very best to make sure there were as little deaths as possible. But one man could only do so much, and he had already done it.

I made my way over to him, walking around the couch to stand behind him, and I put my hands on his shoulders, feeling how tense they were under my palms. "I know. But you've done everything you can possibly do. Everything is ready and taken care of. We're leaving to battle tomorrow, so tonight you should just rest." I soothed, rubbing my hands back and forth along the expanse of his shoulders.

He sighed and relaxed some into my caress, his chin dropping forward against his chest. I snuck a gentle breeze in and picked up the documents, neatly laying them on the table. I then proceeded to rub his shoulders, slowly increasing in pressure, trying to work out all the knots, and thankful that he already had taken off his coat. I slid my hands inside the collar of his black stretchy shirt and worked his muscles more directly, trying to get them to relax and not feel so much like rocks. He groaned and his head lolled forwards even more, his shoulders eventually relaxing, though I had to beat them up pretty hard to get them to do it. He hissed and groaned as I worked on all the sore spots, and I knew I was hurting him, but that it was a good kind of pain.

After a while his hands came up and he gently wrapped them around my wrists, stopping me and then dragging my arms down, which brought my head down beside his. I relaxed against him, draping myself over his shoulders willingly.

"Thank you." He murmured.

After a long peaceful moment of silence he sighed and then turned to kiss the side of my face, as he asked softly, "How are you doing?"

I groaned and buried my face in his shoulder. "To be perfectly honest…I'm terrified. I can't bear the thought that after this war we may be coming back without Kankuro, or Temari, or the twins…or…you." I shuddered, unable to even think that. "Any of their deaths would shatter me, but to think of yours, I really don't think I would survive that. I certainly wouldn't want to. If you have to go…could you at least promise to take me with you?" I almost begged, really not able to see myself living if he died.

He tensed beneath me. "You mean die together?"

I nodded, nuzzling into his neck. He grunted and reached up, the back of his hand hooking over my neck and then suddenly he bent forwards, and I was sent toppling over the back of the couch as I was flipped neatly over his shoulder. He caught me before I could go flying into the coffee table in front of us and dragged me onto his lap. I yelped.

"You could have just asked me to come around you know…" I groused. And then I fell silent at the tortured stare that met mine.

"I can't imagine you dying, even if I'm dead." He said, his voice wobbling a little.

I sighed, feeling the same about him. I would want him to go on living, even if I died. But I was his bodyguard, and frankly, if he died, I died, and I would be going first to try and protect him. It was as simple as that. Whereas my death didn't spell his death, and it shouldn't, since he was the Kazekage. But I knew we simply weren't going to agree on this one, neither of us about to give the other permission to die.

"Okay then. How about this. We simply have to both survive." I posed the question, liking it a lot better than the last one.

His face relaxed and his eyes softened as he smiled gently. "I agree."

"Deal." I grinned, not wanting to think about it anymore, not wanting to ruin this peaceful moment we had before hell descended on us.

I sighed and leaned into his embrace, sitting up and nuzzling my head under his chin. We sat there for a long time, just drinking each other in. While I sat, cuddled in his embrace, I thought about my decision that I had been working on for the past few days. I had decided that I wanted to finally cross that last line with Gaara, and do everything possible between a man and a woman. Maybe this war had pushed me a little in that direction, but I suspected that by this point, even without the war, I'd be ready. And though I knew it was what I truly wanted at this point, the idea of fully embracing our physical relationship before we got shipped off to war was still a bit daunting.

Even so, I was determined, and as long as Gaara was willing, which I had no concerns about, I knew that we would probably soon be in the bedroom, doing some things we hadn't done before. I was struck with nerves as I thought about how I should bring the subject up to him. I bit my lip, considering.

Finally I just gave up on doing it with any sort of finesse, that wasn't really my style anyway, and so I cleared my throat, a noise that sounded just as awkward as I currently felt. "Ehm. Gaara? I've been…thinking…"

When I stalled and worked on what to say next, Gaara said with his dry sense of humor, "That could be very dangerous, Ren. You should be careful."

"Say what?" I huffed, siting up and turning to him, straddling his lap and eyeing him. "I've been thinking about something that you definitely want me to be thinking about, so no more wise-cracks."

His eyes brightened with curiosity. "Something that I would want you to think about?" He repeated, cocking his head to the side a little.

I cleared my throat again and glanced off to the side, uncomfortable again. I actually found myself fiddling my thumbs as I thought about what to say next. "Ye-es, well…I mean…it's something that I've…well…we've…been thinking about for a long time actually. But I've been thinking about it more lately, what with the impending threat of death and stuff looming over our heads. I mean, that's not the only reason! It's something I want to do, because of…well…for obvious reasons…but I also… I just…don't want to go into this war with any regrets. And I know I would regret…I mean if you died…not that that would ever happen…but I would hate for us to…never…um…" I bobbed my head from side to side as I tried to come up with a way to say sex, without actually saying sex. It was difficult to say something, without actually saying it. "…Oh for heaven's sake…" I huffed, getting fed up with it.

I glanced at Gaara and he had a wide-eyed look that said he probably was getting an idea of what it was that I was trying to say, but he restrained himself and blinked slowly at me. "Ren…could you please just say what you mean?"

I groaned. "Yeah…I suppose if I can't even say it, I have no business doing it." I cleared my throat again. "Do you want to…um…what I mean to say is that I would like to…you know it's surprisingly hard to actually say it. Even though we've already done stuff leading up to it, I still find myself having a hard time saying the word. And hell, I gave you ' _the talk'_ so what's up with that? I'm sure I said the word ' _sex_ ' while I was telling you about the birds and the bees right?" I asked, utterly exasperated with my shyness.

His eyes popped open wide, then narrowed, then widened again, and finally he seemed to get his face under control, somewhat. His lips curled at the edges, showing obvious amusement, and I wasn't exactly sure what he could be finding so amusing in this situation.

"Yes. I'm sure you did Ren." He answered, his voice full of mirth.

"Then why can't I say it now?! And would you stop laughing?!" I yelped as he began to chuckle.

"Ren…you did say the word ' _sex_ ,' just a few seconds ago."

I paused, thinking back. _Oh yeah, I did, didn't I?_ _Well, go figure._ I snorted at my own silliness and relaxed somewhat. "I guess I did, didn't I?" I chuckled.

Gaara gave me a pointed look and I groaned, knowing what it meant. "You're going to make me say it again now, aren't you?"

He nodded and a grin crept up on his lips, just a little. I think he just really liked to make me uncomfortable.

I groaned, again, and pinched the bridge of my nose. "All right. Well, I already said it, so let's try this again." I cleared my throat, for the fifth or sixth time, I had lost count, and took a deep breath. "Gaara. Would you like to…um…shit…oh come on, really?"

And then, at his smirking face, I got a little bit ticked off, abruptly losing most of my shyness at the smugness he was exhibiting. _Why does he have to be such a dick sometimes?_

"Okay fine. You want me to say it? Here ya go. Would you, Mister High and Mighty Kazekage, who likes to get me all uncomfortable and embarrassed, like to have sex with little old me. Perhaps I should expand upon that. Would you like to _do_ me. Or maybe ' _make love_ ' is your term of preference. There's also the words screwing and fucking, although those are typically considered bad words. Or we could get _real_ technical and call it sexual intercourse. Any of those ring a bell?" I burst out, flushing red, and breathing fast, caught between embarrassment and irritation at being made to say it.

I glared, embarrassed, irritated, and now amused, at Gaara. At first he had been all smirky and smug, but that had quickly melted into wide-eyed shock as I spoke, and now he looked helplessly befuddled. _Well good for him. That's what he gets for being such a fiend._

It was my turn to smirk now as I spoke up, his glazed eyes widening even farther as I spoke. "Maybe you are still unclear. Perhaps you're familiar with the term ' _to nail_.' Really, when you think about it, it's kinda funny that both _screwing_ someone and _nailing_ someone mean the same thing. People sure are creative aren't they? Or hey, there's even ' _amorous congress'_ if you want to have fancy sex. Or ' _convivial society'_ if you want to have polite sex. Or coitus. Or boinking, bonking, fornicating, going at it, banging, copulating, pounding…." I was interrupted by Gaara's hand slapping over my mouth quite firmly, which made me burst into laughter.

He was giving me the most ridiculous, put upon, sort of look now. Exasperation, amusement, confusion, befuddlement, and simple arousal, all mixed up on his face as he stopped me from saying anything else. He cleared his throat. "I think you made your point. Remind me to never make you say something you don't want to say." He huffed, laughing.

I chuckled and his hand was removed from my lips as he correctly assumed I was finished with my little rant. After a moment there was an awkward silence, at least for me it felt a little awkward, as I waited for his answer. I chewed on my lips and counted the teacups on the counter, thinking idly that we would have to do dishes pretty soon.

Thus, I was distracted when he said, "Are you sure…you want that?" His voice was extra raspy.

I sighed and looked him in the eye, no matter how uncomfortable it was. "Yes. Like I said, I've been thinking about it for a long time, and frankly now I sort of regret that we haven't been doing it for a while now. I feel like I've been…holding you back, and…"

"We've already discussed that. As I said, I'm happy to wait as long as you want."

I smiled gently, touched by his genuine concern for me. "I know. And I know you understand why I waited this long. Thank you, I don't know what I would've done if you'd gotten impatient or pushy. But…I really do think I'm ready for this. Or at least as ready as I ever will be. You know how good I am at procrastinating when it comes to new things, and how nervous I get about them. That's just something about me that I don't think is going to change any time soon. But I know, that I don't want to go into this war, knowing it might be something that kills one or both of us, and never share that with you. It's simply something I can't tolerate happening. And it's not even just that. I mean, that may have pushed me in this direction, but I think I was already ready. Of course we simply haven't had the time lately. "

He blinked and his eyes softened. And then he nodded and I yelped as he stood, quite suddenly, shocking me and making me grab onto him with arms and legs like a monkey. He gripped my thighs, assisting in carrying my weight as he walked towards the bedroom. I gasped as he dropped me on the bed, and I bounced a little. I stared up at him, a tad shocked.

"Well that was a little…dramatic." I said, blinking.

He snickered and then shrugged, apparently suddenly in a fantastic mood. _Oh boy. What have I gotten myself into now?_ It was tough dealing with Gaara when he was feeling all normal, but when he was hyper like this, I didn't know if I was going to be able to handle what was about to happen. _Well too late now._

* * *

 **Lemon Warning: If you don't like lemons, then just skip the rest of this chapter.**

* * *

There was a slightly awkward silence again, and then I sighed, deciding to go ahead and speed up the process some. So I went ahead and slid off my shirt and shimmied out of my pants and skirt. Gaara apparently decided that was a great idea because he joined me in disrobing, down to his underwear in less than a minute. He knelt on the bed and scooted up to where I was, already in the center.

I wasn't allowed to get too uncomfortable, Gaara sensed my nerves rising and put a stop to that right away. He reached out and grabbed me, pulling me in for a kiss. I gasped, a little startled by his quick moves. Apparently now that I'd given him permission to follow all his desires, he was going to go for it with gusto.

His mouth molded to mine and engaged my lips in a scorching kiss, one that immediately deepened to include tongues quicker than I would have expected. I groaned, my stomach clenching, his kisses lighting a fire within me as always. My breast bindings were off before I could protest them being shredded, again. I was finding out that he had no patience whatsoever when it came to untying my breastbands, and he had supplied me with many new ones over the course of our relationship.

I found myself flat on my back on the bed, before I could say 'onomatopoeia' which wasn't really something I would say under these circumstances anyway, so that was fine. And then he propped himself up on his elbows and pinned me with a serious look, and I blinked fuzzily up at him, wondering what he was doing and why he had stopped his fantastic kisses.

"I need to know now, Ren. Are there any rules? Anything at all that you don't want me to do?" He asked seriously, obviously taking the necessary precautions.

Which reminded me. "No holds barred Gaara, everything goes tonight." I tried not to get nervous at the wicked gleam that lit up his eyes. "Er…hold on one second though. You just reminded me…" I crawled out from under him, his eyes following me with hawk-like rapt attention. _Oh dear, I think I just set something off in him._

I dug in my bag which happened to be next to the bed, and pulled out a little bag I had purchased recently, popping one of the pills in my mouth and swallowing it dry. _Ew_ , whatever they put in these things made them taste nasty. I grimaced.

"What was that?" Gaara inquired, his voice deceptively calm.

"Um. To make sure I don't get pregnant." I muttered, scooting back towards him. That look was still in his eyes, and it was making me both a little nervous, and very aroused. As soon as I got within reach, he grabbed me and hauled me back under him, again moving quicker than I would have expected. I squeaked in surprise.

"You sure about the 'no holds barred' thing Ren?" He rumbled again.

I swallowed thickly wondering what exactly he was so concerned about, and squeaked, "Yes?"

He nodded and his lips came down on my own. He kissed me, almost aggressively, and I first gasped and then moaned as I relaxed into it, finding it a little difficult due to the nerves still thrumming in my chest. He pulled back for a second, looking down at me with eyes that looked….hungry. I gulped, managing to whisper a tad nervously, "Uh...why are you looking at me like that?"

His eyes flew up to meet my own, and they were so dark they looked like a completely different color, glittering teal instead of light jade. "And how am I looking at you Ren?" He questioned, his voice so silky it almost felt like a caress.

"Um…" I stuttered, having to find my voice, "…er…well…sort of like you want to…eat me or something…" I chuckled nervously, almost meaning it as a joke.

His eyes flashed and he rumbled and ducked down, his lips caressing my ear. "That's because I do…want to eat you. Very much."

I gasped, not really sure what he meant by that. "Uh…I'm pretty sure cannibalism isn't part of sex usually…" I squeaked, as he bit down gently on the lobe of my ear and then licked me under it.

He chuckled in that darkly sensual way that made all the tiny hairs on my body stand up and quiver. I highly suspected that Shukaku was near the surface, understandably since Kitty was also standing up and paying rapt attention, purring so hard it made my head buzz in a strangely pleasant way. Gaara was acting just a tad out of control, and maybe that was simply because he'd been waiting so long. But for whatever reason, the fact remained, and frankly it was turning me on more than I thought it would, although it also made me a little nervous. Or rather, nervous-er. After all, I'd already been a bit nervous to start with.

His teeth raked along the skin of my throat and I gulped, finding it quite pleasurable. His lips caressed the base of my throat and he lightly sucked there as I tangled my fingers in his hair, tugging, sort of trying to get his attention in a haphazard way. He ignored me, his mouth continuing on down over my collarbones and onto my breasts. I tensed, not entirely sure I was comfortable with that. When his lips kissed me very gently, right next to my nipple I squeaked and yanked on his hair, hard enough that he _had_ to pay attention to me.

"What are you doing exactly?" I gasped, all out of breath.

He blinked innocently. "Kissing you?" He said, his voice deep and rough.

I gulped, and then wheezed a little. "Well, yeah, obviously…but… _there_?"

He snorted. "I've kissed you on your breasts before Ren."

I thought back, trying to remember when exactly he had done that before. _Oh, right._ He always seemed to sneak that on me right about when I was going to cum, and it always seemed to send me over the edge, the warmth, and wetness, and suction of his mouth feeling fantastic. _Erp_.

I wasn't really given a choice, as he interrupted my thoughts by latching onto one of my nipples with his mouth. I yelped and then moaned, not expecting it. "Woah! Now wait just a…just a…a…uh…second…."

My brain fried and I ceased to think super clearly, only able to protest in a disjointed half-word-half moan-language that I was sure was utterly unintelligible. Finally I just gave up and enjoyed it, squirming under him and groaning with pleasure as his fingers joined in the fun on my other breast.

After a while of driving me absolutely nuts, with Kitty being a fluffy, purring mess inside my head and utterly useless, his lips started kissing down my stomach. I hissed and tensed, my mind snapping back as much as possible from the fuzziness at the suggested route his mouth was taking, I quickly dispelled that notion as ridiculous though. His fingers hooked into my underwear and he drew them down my legs, which was a little difficult since my legs were on either side of him. I eventually just had to pull my knees up so he could get the panties off my feet, which he did with some disturbing glee.

And then his hands were on my knees, pushing them apart, and he ducked down between them, his lips pressing against me right above the brown fluff. I yelped, not expecting that at all, and tensed again, seriously concerned now that he was thinking about…something I hadn't expected him to be thinking about…or even consider really…since it had never occurred to me at all.

But I didn't want to put the thought in his mind either, so I held back my protest until I was positive that's what he was planning on doing. He made it pretty clear as he hunkered down, his lips trailing over the fluff, and obviously heading towards pinker pasture to graze on. I squeaked and grabbed his hair with one hand, yanking up, and then slipped the other over the offended body part in question, hiding my nether lips.

His head came up, but not very much, and his eyes met mine. I gulped at the gleam in them, the bright curiosity, lust, and determination not something I wanted to see at this particular moment. "What…in the world…are you doing?" I whimpered, trying to sound stern but not really accomplishing it very well.

"I am kissing you." He repeated.

I hissed. "You're doing a whole lot more than kissing Gaara."

"Not really." He glanced back down and experimentally grabbed my wrist, tugging to try and bare my privates to him again. I didn't budge. He growled.

"I'm pretty sure what you were about to do is unsanitary." I said, trying to sound forceful, and somewhat accomplishing it.

"Why?" He huffed, glaring up at me, still pulling on my wrist.

"Be-because! It's _that_! And I don't think your mouth is supposed to be touching _that_!" I protested.

"Why?" He repeated, and I worked on closing my legs, but found it difficult with his shoulders bracing them apart.

"Good god! I mean think about it! It's where I use the restroom, and … I mean…I'm aroused! So there's you know…all that slippery stuff down there. I doubt you want _that_ in your mouth! Come on Gaara!" I sputtered, still trying to close my legs and resiliently keeping my hand in place as a shield, despite his efforts to dislodge it.

"None of that bothers me. And in fact I very much want to taste that slippery stuff that you just mentioned."

I gaped at him, flushing bright red, and I had already been blushing pretty hard, so I could feel the heat creeping down my chest as I choked just a little on my shock. "You have got to be kidding me!" I yelped and squirmed, trying to get out from under him so we could discuss this without the threat of him diving in at any second. It didn't work, his other hand grabbing my thigh and holding me firmly in place. "Gaara! Seriously! That's…gross, and weird, and…and…would you stop trying to get to me?"

He paused in his tugging on my wrist and looked up, thoroughly exasperated by now. "I asked at the beginning of this whether there was anything you didn't want me to do. And you said no. I don't think this is something gross at all, quite the opposite in fact, nor am I concerned about anything you have mentioned."

I gaped at him. "Well, I didn't think you were going to do something like this!"

"This is a perfectly common thing to do."

"Say what now?" I blinked down at him in shock and disbelief.

"You didn't know that?" He asked, somewhat smugly.

"Of course not! How would I?!"

His lips curled up in a slow smirk and I realized he was relishing being able to teach me something about sex for once. "It's called oral sex Ren, or going down on someone."

I hiccupped, totally thrown for a loop. "And where did you hear about this exactly?" I asked weakly.

He shrugged. "I got tired of you having to explain things, and figured you were tired of it too, so I found a book on it. Now I know more than you do apparently."

I gaped at him again, thoroughly surprised that he had actually gone and read a book…about sex. _Oh great._ "So…this is actually a thing?!" I asked, still disbelieving.

He nodded, his lips nipping at my inner thigh, a little sharply to express his frustration at being blocked from where he wanted to go. "Yes. And apparently it's supposed to feel very, very good, so would you please just let me…" He trailed off, going back to pulling on my wrist.

I wasn't expecting it and he actually managed to jerk my hand away from between my legs, and I squeaked, my hips twisting as I tried to avoid him. I still had his hair though, and I kept his head up and away from my area.

"Yeah, well, I still think it's gross!" I yelped.

His eyes rolled up to meet my gaze. "That's too bad. Perhaps you will change your mind afterwards."

I gasped as his other hand came up and grabbed my other wrist, yanking my hand from his hair and firmly pinning it to the bed, both my wrists captured now.

 **Gaara POV**

The brief thought that maybe he should stop crossed his mind, but he forgot it quickly, too intoxicated by her scent, and the way she was squirming to be able to consider stopping. He had given her a chance at the beginning, and perhaps it was wrong of him to hold her to that, but that was exactly what he was planning on doing. He knew he was just a tad out of control, and Shukaku's urgings in his head certainly weren't helping at all, in fact they made it utterly impossible for him to stop under any circumstance.

The scent of her, right there beneath his nose was enough to make him dizzy, and as he finally was able to nuzzle his face in between her thighs, he felt tension mounting inside of him. His dick was throbbing in a somewhat distracting way, but as usual he was easily able to ignore it, being much too engrossed in Ren to pay attention to the uncomfortably hard body part that was currently asking for it.

 **Ren POV**

I protested, but he ignored me, and his face dipped between my thighs. His shoulders kept my legs apart, and his hands held my wrists, so there wasn't really anything I could do about it. The idea of what he was going to do freaked me out a little, but also strangely aroused me, and I yelped as I felt his lips touch the side of my stuff. He gently kissed around for a second, and I twitched, the sensation not unlike his fingers, but softer.

And then I felt his lips part and I just had time to sputter a few unlistened-to protests before I felt his tongue. I gulped. _Okay yeah, that feels a little different from his fingers_.

It was silkier, and wetter, and hotter, and the sensation made me jerk in his grasp. He lapped over me, mapping out the whole area, even dipping briefly into my opening, which felt very odd and incredibly good. My protests died out, mainly because I had to breath and I was panting too hard to really waste any breath on speech. All I could really manage were some noises that could have been interpreted as protests, but could be interpreted in other ways as well, various whines and whimpers that in the end, sounded more aroused than anything else. He gently took my folds into his mouth, sucking lightly, and I jumped, the sensation very unexpected, and actually very pleasurable. And then his tongue moved over that bundle of nerves and I gasped, surprised by how different it felt. It was similar to his fingers, but…it felt better. His tongue was softer, and slicker, and apparently able to move in ways that fingers simply couldn't, which I quickly discovered, and I abruptly found every attempt at protesting to be utterly meaningless and simply moaned, trying to not get too loud.

 **Gaara POV**

He tried to start out softly, wanting to ease her into it, but he was only able to keep his kisses semi-chaste and close mouthed for a few brief moments before he was overwhelmed with the need to taste her. As he finally allowed himself to indulge in a lick, he was unsurprised to find that she tasted the way she smelled, sort of musky, a little salty, and a tad sweet, although it was very mild and at times didn't taste like anything aside from skin and wetness. He was immediately as addicted to her flavor as he was to her scent.

He noticed that her half spoken, half moaned, mostly non-sensible protests had tapered off somewhat now, and mostly consisted of sounds that could still be interpreted as protests, but also sounded a whole lot like pleasured whimpers. Despite the fact that she was still obviously uncomfortable with this, she appeared find it very pleasurable. He explored around a bit, and then honed in on what he now knew was her clitoris, having also read about it in that book.

To be quite honest, Kankuro had given it to him as a gag gift. But he'd also told Ren the truth, considering that the only reason he'd actually read the thing was because he was sick of having her have to explain shit to him. It was uncomfortable, and generally a little annoying to not know certain things. Plus, he knew that having to explain sex to him was typically an embarrassing ordeal for her. So with that in mind, he'd read the book, and had found it to be quite fascinating. His curiosity had been satisfied in one way, but peaked in another. There were many things that he'd never thought about, and once he had learned about them his curious nature had immediately made him want to try them.

And it seemed that his curiosity had paid off in a big way, based on Ren's reaction to his licking her clit. She certainly seemed to find it very pleasurable, perhaps even more so than when he touched her with his fingers. Her semi-protests that could have been taken as moans almost immediately translated into just moans and whimpers with no sign of protest whatsoever anymore and her hips jerked and then began to move as her thighs twitched against his shoulders. Her reaction delighted him, and if the experience hadn't already been addictive, it certainly was now. He had no control over the purr that started up in his chest and just let it happen, not bothering to spend any time thinking about it.

 **Ren POV**

He licked all around that little bundle of nerves and then experimented with different ways of moving his tongue over it, flicking it lightly, which made my thighs jerk in a weird way, flattening his tongue onto it, and swirling it around. He used different pressures, and patterns, and it felt very similar to the way he had explored it with his fingers, the varying of his technique familiar as he explored, but this felt so much different. Fingers were only capable of a certain range of motion, which apparently didn't restrict his tongue and half the time I had no idea what exactly he was doing with his tongue, or even what part of his tongue he was using, just that it felt good.

I whimpered, overwhelmed by the rush of sensation, and he let my wrists go, apparently not concerned that I was going to try and pull him away from his prize. Which was how he was treating it. I'd expected him to maybe get a lick in and withdraw in disgust, but that was definitely not what he was doing. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, based on the constant purr that was rumbling in his throat.

I gasped as his now free fingers went to the area where his mouth was, gently pulling apart the lips and exposing me even more for his tongue's caresses. That was almost too much sensation and I flinched. He lightened his touch immediately. After that, I had no chance, his tongue finding something that worked really well, and I couldn't hold back the whimpers and the bucking of my hips to go along with the sensations he was wringing from my body. He must have picked up on the cues, which he usually did, because he stuck with it, and soon I felt myself approaching my peak.

I was usually comfortable enough to orgasm now in his presence quite easily, but having his mouth there threw me for a loop, and I got a little shy, not wanting to cum against his lips. I wasn't really given a choice though, because as he felt my hesitation he increased the pressure of his tongue, just a tiny bit, and that shoved me unceremoniously into wonderland.

I gasped and then groaned _, loudly_ , and I was pretty sure his name crept in there somewhere, as the sensations multiplied exponentially. My legs closed, or tried to, clamping down on his shoulders, as my hips bucked almost violently. One of his hands landed on my abdomen, gently but firmly pressing down and holding me in place so I wouldn't break his nose or anything as he continued to gently lap at me.

I gasped and shuddered, and then whimpered out a protest when it got to be too much. He finally pulled away, and my body collapsed back onto the bed. My eyes opened, as he wiped off his chin on his forearm, and I flushed.

His lips quirked and he asked mildly, "So do you still think it's gross?"

I heaved a sigh. "Not…really."

He snickered and then looked down, easily able to see where he had just been since my legs were limply lying open. He sat, his fingers gently touching me there. I twitched, the sensation intense.

"What are you doing?" I groaned.

He glanced up. "I was planning on breaking your hymen. If that's okay with you."

I blinked. "Oh. With your fingers?"

"Yes. I figured that might hurt less."

"Huh. Well, go on ahead I guess. I'm just gonna lie here and…recover."

He chuckled and nodded, and then glanced back down, locating the partially visible opening. I'd probably already torn my hymen with all the activity and fighting that I did as a ninja, so I wasn't particularly worried about that. From what I had been able to tell, the few times I had actually bothered to contort myself enough to get a look down there, it was almost like a rim of ruffly membrane just inside and partially obscuring the entrance, but it hadn't seemed to actually cover my entrance at all. I suspected that it would simply be a matter of getting the rim of membrane to tear around the edges a little more to make room. Although, to be honest, I had absolutely no idea at all how a hymen worked exactly.

He lightly pressed a finger against me, being very gentle, and feeling around with his fingertip for the easiest entry point. He was very patient about it, and so I relaxed and let him do his thing, doing my best to help by tilting my hips this way or that way to see if it made it any easier for him. After a moment his finger slipped in, just a little, and I jumped at the strange sensation. It felt very odd at first, not really good or bad, just sort of _there_. But I had never felt anything _there_ before, so it was interesting. He gently worked that finger in and out, going deeper on each pass, and it started to feel kind of good.

 **Gaara POV**

He remembered Ren having said that the tissue just inside her opening was supposed to be very thin and easily torn, and really, it didn't even feel like skin, but more delicate, like a membrane. Even so, he found himself hesitant to just tear it, and so it had taken some work to find the right place to press on. He had simply felt around until he found the spot that gave the most when under pressure, apparently her hymen was already open there in the center, so it just took a little gentle convincing to get his finger inside the opening. And then it had taken him a little while to recover from the first shock of feeling her inside like this. It was everything he had suspected it might be, but the experience was so much more intense than any fantasy. It was hot, and wet, and snug around his finger, particularly at the entrance. The flesh inside was somewhat comparable to the inside of his mouth, not that he went around sticking his finger in his mouth a lot, but it was the only thing he could really think of that was similar.

Naturally the first thing that popped into his head, was the thought of how it would feel to have his dick where his finger currently was, and the notion had such an arousing effect on him that he immediately had to not think about it. He wanted to break her hymen as gently as possible, and he wasn't entirely sure he could be gentle while thinking those kinds of thoughts.

It was difficult not to think about, but he somehow managed, and focused on moving his finger in and out, as gently as possible, while also trying to press a little more to the sides and the top and bottom on every other thrust so that he could slowly widen the opening. He could feel the tight band of thin skin at her entrance easing around his finger as he moved it, making the movements a little easier.

To help distract himself he spoke, wanting to ask Ren about something that he'd been thinking about for a while now. "Ren?"

"Hm?" She answered, her eyes closed and apparently still a bit fuzzy from her orgasm.

"I have a question. What do you call this?" He asked, nodding down to where his hand currently was.

She opened her eyes, staring up at him questioningly. "This…what? You mean my vagina?" She cocked her head to the side, blushing just a tad at the topic of conversation, or else from the fact that he was still stretching her while holding a conversation.

"Not exactly. Do you call this entire area your vagina?" He specified.

She flushed a bit more, and then frowned, looking thoughtful. "To be honest…I hadn't really thought about it. Mostly I just think of it as my ' _area_ ,' or something like that."

He resisted the urge to chuckle. "It would probably be easier to talk about it if we had a name for it." He pointed out, which he thought was a reasonable point, but Ren cocked her eyebrow as if she disagreed and snorted, which did something interesting to her insides, Gaara noted absentmindedly.

"I suppose. Were you planning on having many, long discussions about my area?" She inquired pleasantly, humor thick in her voice.

He blinked at her, letting his face go blank as he did his version of rolling his eyes at her, blinking very slowly. "No."

She laughed and then sighed, relaxing back into the bed for a moment as he continued to stretch her. After a few moments she sighed and said, "So, what did you have in mind for a name? You've got me curious now. Did you read something in that special _book_ of yours?" She emphasized the word 'book' in an obviously teasing way.

He allowed a deep chuckle to rumble in his chest, inordinately happy that she was comfortable enough with him to actually tease him while he had a finger inside of her. It was a nearly unbelievable occurrence given the way they had started their physical relationship.

"Yes. There were several terms listed in the book. Would you prefer anatomical or colloquial?" He responded to her previous question as he brought up his other hand to lightly pet the fluffy patch up at the top of her 'area' as she called it.

"Why don't we go with the second option, everyday terms tend to be a little more interesting." She hummed, closing her eyes and apparently enjoying the caresses as they talked.

Gaara riffled through the list mentally, thinking about the one that had gotten his attention right away. "The most common term seemed to be pussy. Most of them sounded rude, but I thought that one was fairly appropriate, given the nature of your feline friend."

Ren paused, her eyes opening and looking at him in surprise, and then she started laughing, which once again he noticed made her inner walls sort of pulse in a fascinating way, and he couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like around his dick. He quickly shut off those thoughts, for fear of getting too aroused and being a little too rough.

"That is good. Hmm…pussy. I like it. And Kitty is thoroughly pleased about it too, so I think we should go with that." Ren snickered.

"Alright then." Gaara agreed, and leant down to give her fluffy mound a kiss to seal the deal, making her jump and squeak in surprise, which had his lips twitching in a small grin. He loved that sound she made when he surprised her in bed.

 **Ren POV**

I huffed and settled back down from the surprise of his kissing me so unexpectedly. Kitty was still purring happily at the new name for my 'area' and I grinned. That was perhaps the oddest conversation I had ever held in my entire life, but also perhaps one of the most enjoyable as well.

It was strange, the pressure inside me different from anything I had ever experienced before, but as he moved his finger in and out he sometimes brushed against the inside of my walls in such a way that sent tingles up and down the inside of me, in a way that had me sighing and arching into the caress.

He continued what he was doing, but asked, "Does this hurt?"

"No. Not at all, it's just kind of…weird. But it feels good." I responded, and he nodded.

And then he added another finger, and that was a whole different ballgame. The pressure was greater, and at first I felt a mildly painful pinching sort of sensation at the entrance, and I figured that was probably my hymen tearing. It wasn't particularly bad on the pain scale, more along the lines of discomfort, and I winced a little.

"Sorry, I know that must have hurt a little." He apologized, still working his fingers in and out, but much more slowly, more gently, than he had with just the one.

"Just a little." I agreed, shifting my hips to try and make it a little more comfortable.

It continued to be uncomfortable for a while, the pinching sensation persisting. It didn't feel so much like a pop, as it did more like skin that had been caught and pinched, and every time he pushed his fingers inside it felt kind of like that, though it slowly lessened. After a while I wiggled, trying to get his fingers deeper and feeling like the movement would help with the tearing of my hymen. And sure enough, I felt a little pinch, so I did it again, trying to assist.

The pressure inside was actually quite pleasurable now, the sensation more of something that I could feel might be very nice. As his fingers rubbed against the insides of me, I could feel those tingles picking back up, and I squirmed some more experimentally, ignoring the little pinches here and there. Those were mostly gone by now.

After a while his fingers retreated and we both looked down at them. They were covered in a thick coating of blood, which indicated that he had indeed broken my hymen successfully. It looked thicker than regular blood, and I would suspect that it had mixed in with my arousal to make it so thick. He wiped his fingers off on a cloth and gently cleaned me as well.

"I hope that didn't hurt too much." He murmured.

"No, not very much at all. Every so often it would sort of…pinch a little, but it wasn't bad, just kind of uncomfortable." He nodded looking relieved.

"Would you like to heal before we do anymore?"

I blinked at his offer, touched. "No, no. Actually I have something that will speed along the process." I reached into my bag and pulled out the cream that the woman had said would heal me quickly. I sat up a little, intending on putting it on, but Gaara forestalled me, asking if he could do it.

I shrugged and handed him the tub. He very gently applied some of the cream inside to the torn skin rimming my now open entrance, and immediately the slight soreness started to ease. It had been made by a very skilled healer so it would only take a few minutes for it to mostly heal up a tiny wound like this.

"Now we just have to wait a few minutes for it to take effect and then we can continue." I sighed.

Gaara nodded and slid up next to me, lying beside me. I rolled onto my side, a tad gingerly, and propped myself up, bending to kiss him this time. I gently stroked my hand over his chest, enjoying the chance to touch him. It had been a while since we had simply been able to be with each other like this, so I was fully luxuriating in the experience.

Within a minute or two, the ache turned to mild itchiness, and then went away completely. I shifted experimentally, drawing Gaara's attention as he turned to gaze at me questioningly, to which I responded with a murmured, "I think it's done." And sat up, moving around a little to see if I felt any soreness. Gaara blinked and sat up.

When there was no pain or discomfort I grinned and hopped out of bed, scooting to the bathroom to quickly wash the rest of the cream off. It didn't take very long, though I was thorough, and soon I was back in the bedroom. I was still mildly aroused, but knew I had to get more aroused for this to work, so, struck by an odd confidence, I hopped onto the bed. I aimed it just right, so that I ended up leaping on top of Gaara as well. I had a brief glimpse of his wide shocked eyes and then we were toppling back onto the bed, me on top. I laughed, enjoying the ability to just be with Gaara like this, while still being comfortable and unafraid.

He blinked up at me, smiling that tiny little bemused smile of his, looking quite amused. "Eager are we?" He asked, just a tad smugly.

I huffed, sitting up, my knees straddling his thighs. "I would say you're the eager one, based on this." I put my hand on his very much awake erection.

He jumped and growled, his eyes flashing. His hands grabbed my hips and yanked me forwards, my hand popping off his dick to land on his chest for balance. I yelped a little as I was briskly re-seated, and then gasped as I realized exactly where I had been put. This was the first time we'd ever had those parts of our bodies come into direct skin to skin contact. I shifted, finding the rather uncompromising hard ridge that I was sitting on to be just a tad much for that delicate tissue, particularly the sensitive bundle of nerves, and one of my folds had gotten pinched awkwardly between us.

I lifted off him just a tad, using my leg muscles to hold most of my weight, and that way I could more fully enjoy the caress of his flesh against mine, without the uncomfortable pressure of my weight squashing my delicate bits against his hardness. I looked down, meeting his eyes, which were wide, a tad shocked, and extremely aroused, and that expression was even more arousing than the physical contact. My folds were still a bit tacky from having just washed them, so I couldn't really slide back and forth over him the way I wanted to.

His hands slid up from my hips, stroking over my stomach, which fluttered in that weird way it sometimes did, and started playing with my breasts, and that quickly got me producing some of the wetness I needed to more fully enjoy the skin to skin contact down below. I hissed and then groaned, gently sliding back and forth, just a tad, blushing a little in the shyness that came from doing something new. Gaara's eyes closed and his head went back, his hips arching under me.

 **Gaara POV**

The sensation of her wet folds against his dick was better than he could have imagined, and even more than that, simply the fact that he _could_ do this intoxicated him. He had wanted to do this for so long, that the actuality of it had him all kinds of happy, very nearly dizzy. He truly hadn't minded waiting for Ren, because he knew that if they'd rushed this, it would have been much less enjoyable. She would have been tense and nervous, instead of obviously enjoying herself as she was now, even if she was still a tad embarrassed. But even though he hadn't minded, it still had the effect of making this moment more intense, causing him to feel almost giddy, in a thoroughly aroused way.

He sighed and groaned arching his hips up underneath her, thoroughly enjoying the silky heat of her. The feeling was so different from anything his dick had ever come into contact with, that it sent pleasurable shivers down his spine. And of course, it was her, and it was her newly dubbed _pussy,_ and that made heat shoot through his body so fast it immediately felt like he had a fever. And very suddenly, he very much wanted to do a lot more than rub up against the outside of her, he felt the abrupt need to be inside her.

 **Ren POV**

We rolled over, and he settled his body over mine. His hips came to rest in between my thighs, his hardness still firmly against me there. I squeaked as he ground down against me a little too hard, and I gasped, "Too much!" And winced just a tad from the zing my bundle of nerves had sent down my spine.

He pulled back a little, out of breath and looking just a tad concerned. "Sorry, did I hurt you? Are you still sore?" He questioned, his voice rough with arousal.

"No, no. I'm not still sore, it's just that little…bundle of nerves, whatever it is, doesn't like that much pressure." I hurried to assure him, shifting my hips under his.

He very slowly blinked and the corners of his lips curled upwards a little bit in a teasing, slightly smug sort of way. "I know what it is."

I blinked, a little confused by what he meant by that. "Well yeah. I mean, you've seen it and touched it so…"

He chuckled. "I mean I know the name of it."

My eyebrows rose in astonishment. "Seriously? That book agai…" I cut off on a groan as his hips much more gently nudged his shaft against my pussy, sliding it against me in a very pleasurable way.

He smirked down at me, and I had the distinct impression that he liked to interrupt my words with stuff like that, just to hear the broken moans that popped forth. He leaned down, getting his mouth next to my ear and murmured, "It's called a clitoris. Clit for short."

I blinked, caught between arousal, amusement, and fascination. "Huh, funny na…me…" I tried to say, but he made it very difficult when he bit my ear and then sucked on my neck while rolling his hips into mine again.

He was enjoying being the one to tell me new things _way_ too much. I grumbled against his shoulder and nipped him for being so rude and interrupting me every time I tried to say something. "You like … interrupting me don't you?" I managed to say, pausing in the middle when he did just that. He just chuckled and I took that to mean yes. And that was fine, I wasn't too interested in talking right now anyways.

After some more kissing, and touching, and gently grinding against each other, he paused, pulling back and eyeballing me seriously, a question in his gaze. I was all befuddled so it took me a second to realize that he was asking for permission to enter me. I tensed, just a tad nervous all of a sudden, but forced myself to relax. At this point, I wasn't really concerned about anything physical, it was more the _thought_ of him being inside me that caused the brain fart that numbed my mind for a second and gave me some mild anxiety.

I swallowed thickly and nodded, answering his silent question. And then there was some awkward fumbling as he tried to figure out exactly how to do this. Since he had been rubbing up against me, and I had been producing plenty of fluids, everything was now very slippery, and that made it a teensy bit difficult to have anything go where it was supposed to.

Plus, the opening was still rather small, and my folds got in the way for a second. I had to sneak a hand between us to rearrange myself, pulling some skin out of the way, opening myself to his advances. That helped some. His hand also snuck between us, grabbing himself at his base to assist with aiming.

It took a minute or so, but eventually he had himself lined up, and then it was just a matter of pushing himself inside. I gasped at the rather intense stretching sensation, a little twinge of pain telling me that we hadn't quite broken my hymen entirely. It was slightly uncomfortable at first, the pressure very intense, the stretching sensation very strange. I was glad for Gaara's idea, and that he had used his fingers to start with, because if he hadn't this would have been a whole lot more uncomfortable and probably more painful than I would have expected.

I yelped, and then squeaked a tad at first when he pressed inside, and unconsciously tensed my muscles against the invasion. He paused, panting, and said, "You're going to have to relax Ren. You get even tighter when you tense up like that."

"Oh. Right." I mumbled, blushing.

It was…intense. And it was that intensity that made me tense up, almost subconsciously. I closed my eyes and focused on relaxing those muscles, despite having the urge to tighten and resist the strange penetration. It didn't feel bad, just really uncomfortable, and strangely arousing, and like nothing I had ever experienced before. Plus I was still nervous, and that was making me tense up some.

I took a deep breath, and then let it out, focusing on relaxing everything at the same time, and he slid in, a bit suddenly. I gasped and he groaned and we stayed like that for just a second. I had a brief moment to absorb the strange, intense feeling of fullness, feeling myself forced to stretch in a way I was totally unfamiliar with. It hurt, just a little, but not much, and I wasn't even really paying attention to that.

And then his body shuddered on top of mine, and he groaned, burying his face into my neck as his hips bucked against me. I yelped as it seemed like even more of him was forced inside, and my knees came up to bracket his hips. That helped a little, allowing him to go deeper without some of the discomfort.

 **Gaara POV**

He was…well he felt stuck. Not literally stuck, but as though the pleasure had shorted out all his higher brain functions and he was nearly paralyzed for a few seconds as he absorbed the intense sensation of his dick being squeezed inside of her. It was amazing, the heat, the tightness, the wetness, all wrapped around him completely, in such a way that he immediately knew why people could get addicted to sex. And the fact that it was Ren, and that he was literally _inside_ of her, set him on fire. The physical sensations of it were intensely arousing, but so was the intimacy of the act, in a way he hadn't fully understood until now.

But he also knew that intimacy had always been a bit of an issue with Ren, and if it was intense for him, he could only assume it was just as intense for her. She had tensed up again as soon as he fully entered her, and he could feel her walls clamping down on him, in a very pleasurable way. He could sense Ren struggling to accommodate him, and knew this was probably a tad uncomfortable or difficult for her, given the way she was a bit stiff beneath his body.

He braced his elbows on the bed to hold his weight and gently rocked his hips, just a little to try to get her used to it slowly, while being unable to stay completely still within her. The pleasure of it was getting to him and he could feel his control slipping, but he tried his best to keep his thrusts gentle for her sake, knowing she was probably still a bit sore, given how tight she was , and that she was probably also having some difficulties with the intimacy of it.

 **Ren POV**

It was surprisingly similar to the way it felt to have his mind in mine, the same sort of vulnerability. I had laughed then at the joke, but now I knew that it wasn't a joke, there was a reason I had been reacting the way I had. The penetration was … difficult for me to take in some ways, and for just a brief moment I had to force myself not to fight it. It wasn't that the penetration was physically super uncomfortable, although it was a bit, it was simply the intensity of having him _inside_ me that had thrown me for a loop.

Even so, I was quickly acclimating to the sensation, the feeling of pressure and fullness, but I wasn't allowed to fully get used to it before he was withdrawing some. I gasped and jerked at that sensation, the feeling of his skin dragging against all the nerves inside me was something I hadn't expected, and all those tingles that his fingers had mildly produced were back, but multiplied by a million. His fingers hadn't really touched me very deeply or fully, but his erection was a totally different matter altogether. Now, he was touching what felt like every inch of me, which meant that every single one of those nerves were woken up and greeted in a rather lovely, but aggressive sort of way. It was as shocking to my nerves as it would be for me to be woken out of a deep sleep by being hit by lightning, except much more pleasant.

His chest dragged against mine as he slid back, and then he reversed his motion and thrust back into me, and I squeaked. I was squeaking a lot more than I thought I would in any circumstance. The move back in had been even better than the move out. He was rubbing against something, or several somethings, that felt very, very good, sending shocks of pleasure up my spine, the likes of which I hadn't ever felt before. It was impossible for me to say exactly where inside of me it was that was causing so much pleasure, because at this point it felt like all my insides were lit up like one big livewire.

And then he moaned, deeply in his chest, and his hips began working against me, no longer pausing between thrusts, though he maintained a relatively slow and gentle pace. I shuddered beneath him, my hands coming up to grip his sides, and all of a sudden I was struck with the realization that this was actually happening, which seemed awfully silly. And yet, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks, that we were actually _having_ _**sex**_ , and he was _inside_ of me, and the shock of that smacked me across the face. It's strange what one thought will do to you. In this case my body reacted to my mind and fired up like a sparkler, shivers going through my frame in the oddest way.

But I wasn't really allowed to think about it too much, because I was soon wrapped up in the sensations pummeling my body. I found that my muscles down there did very strange things when being accosted like this, and they started rippling, occasionally squeezing, and making my body twitch as the pleasure from those contractions made everything better. It was a completely different kind of pleasure from the kind that would make me orgasm, but it was wonderful nevertheless. The pressure and fullness inside of me was incredibly pleasurable, sending tingles all over my body, although… in the oddest way it also kinda made me feel like I had to pee, which was a little disturbing.

It didn't take very long for his hips to start moving faster, a growl rumbling in his chest now. He shifted and sat up a little, propping himself up more on his elbows to look down at me. I flinched, the eye contact completely unexpected, and I blushed, doing my best to hold it. But it was so very, very…intimate, in a way I hadn't known fully before, and my eyes shut of their own accord.

His lips brushed my own and he groaned, a little tightly, and totally out of breath, "I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."

I kissed him, fine with that, and he jerked against me, a deep moan interrupting the growl rumbling in his chest. And then his head ducked back down, and I gasped, my eyes flying open in shock and I yelped, "Gaara!?" as his teeth clamped down on the juncture between my neck and shoulder. He was rough, but it didn't hurt too bad, and I moaned, the slight pain somehow adding to the pleasure in the oddest way. His hips bucked against me, rougher and rougher, more and more disjointed, and while it felt very good, I could feel myself starting to get a little sore, that flesh still unused to this particular sort of friction and those muscles trembling from working so hard. Not to mention, I was pretty sure my hymen had torn a little more.

Even though there was some discomfort now, I almost didn't notice, or care, as all I was really focused on was the pleasure. That strange urge to pee never went away, and only seemed to grow stronger the faster and deeper he went, so there was some relief as I felt him getting closer to his orgasm. His rhythm grew uneven and jerky, and his deep growl grew in volume.

I felt the strange silky feeling of his sand on my foot, and it slowly began crawling up, while another tendril touched my shoulder. At this point it didn't bother me at all. I was so used to its shenanigans that I simply took it as a cue that Gaara was getting close. And I actually enjoyed the strange caresses now, the weird rippling feel of it against my skin making me shiver.

And then Gaara froze, his body tensing and his jaw clamping down even harder on my shoulder where he was still gripping me with his teeth. I gasped, but didn't really feel the pain all that much, too aroused to really care. His teeth quickly released as he pressed his forehead to my shoulder, his hips jerking spastically against me and forcing him deeper than before, a very loud groan escaped him and then he barked my name, which sent a thrill through me, and his hips pressed tightly to mine and froze. I gasped, and then moaned, shocked by the feeling of him twitching and pulsing inside of me, which I certainly hadn't expected.

After a tense moment, his body went lax, almost squashing me, but I relished the weight, even if it was a little uncomfortable. For a moment we just lay there, and then he groaned, sighed, and rolled over, slipping out of me. The abrupt removal forced a grunt from my throat.

I still had to pee, so I hopped out of bed, wincing at the soreness between my thighs and went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I came back out Gaara looked at me curiously.

As I joined Gaara back on the bed he sighed and pulled me to him, murmuring, "I would very much like to do that again, but it's late, and we should sleep. Plus, you're probably sore now."

I blinked, a little surprised. "Again? You mean like now? But you just…"

"Not right now, but if time permitted, I would have liked to make love to you again in 30 minutes or so. But like I said, that isn't exactly feasible tonight."

I was still shocked. "Okay. Just so I know what to expect, do you think it's going to be common for you to want to do it more than once a night?"

He chuckled at my bemusement and snuggled me closer. "Perhaps at first. I wouldn't be surprised."

I sighed, not entirely sure I would be up for that, but I guess we would just have to wait and see. We snuggled together, and I quickly found myself drifting off.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So there you have it. They finally went all the way...yay! Now buckle up your seatbelts, it's gonna be a rough ride for the next few chapters. War is upon us!

No worries, there will be more lemonade to look forward to after the war is over. This story is already super long I know, but I didn't want to just end it right after the war. I wanted a more closure than that. So there will be one more little story arc to finish it off.


	78. Burn With Me: Chapter 60

I woke slowly, and at first I wasn't entirely sure why I was a little sore between my legs. And then I remembered what had happened the night before and I felt my cheeks warm with pleasure as a small smile curled my lips. That had been…amazing. Sex was even better than I had expected, and I had expected a lot, considering how much pleasure I had already gained from what we did with each other. Manual stimulation had been fantastic, and still was fantastic, but to be honest, the stuff he had done with his mouth last night had been even better. Even if it still was a little embarrassing to think about.

The actual penetration part had also been surprisingly pleasurable, I'd found a different sort of satisfaction from that, and definitely wanted to do it again, even if it had overwhelmed me a little at first. I really wished we had time to do stuff this morning before everything happened, but unfortunately I knew we probably needed to get out of bed and get ready to go. The sun hadn't even risen yet, but I could already hear the village start to wake up, and knew that everyone was starting to get ready to go off to war.

I sighed and opened my eyes, peering at Gaara through the darkness of the room. He was already awake and I could see his eyes slide down to meet mine, the pale color reflecting what little light was available. The gentle light beside the bed came on, turned on by his sand undoubtedly, and I blinked up at him, my chin on his chest and my arm draped over his stomach.

"Can we just stay here until the war is over?" I mumbled hopefully, already knowing the answer.

A small smile curled Gaara's lips and he cupped the back of my head, lightly tugging me up his body and giving me a gentle kiss.

"No." He whispered against my ear, and then lightly nipped it.

I sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

And so we got out of bed, and I winced a little as some of what we had done last night leaked out and got onto my thighs. That wasn't pleasant, so I scooted off to take a really fast shower, and then we both got ready, dressing in full battle gear and packing our bags swiftly. Everyone was moving out, and so there was no time to relax. It was still early when all the troops were mobilized, Gaara leading the way with me trailing right behind him. We were going to go all the way to the Village Hidden in the Clouds, where the five Kage were going to meet and discuss the upcoming war. That was going to be home base, as it were.

It didn't take us too long to reach the meet up point, perhaps a week, maybe less. I was just glad that I had an excuse to continue sleeping in Gaara's tent with him, even though we had to sleep on separate pallets now and I slept across the doorway for appearances sake. I was his bodyguard after all. And people, I found, were very rude when it came to waking the Kazekage for urgent business at all times of night, and didn't necessarily knock first, so there was no way we could be lovey-dovey and risk getting caught like that.

It was driving me a little bit insane to be honest, having just been able to do everything, and now not able to do anything at all. Our physical relationship was a constant source of irritation for me, being the girlfriend of the Kazekage was rough. Although, my own issues had played a large part in that, so I couldn't really complain. The morning we first set out I was in a great mood, considering that I woke satisfied and happy from the sex the night before, but by the third morning my mood had substantially decreased.

We arrived at the Hidden Cloud Village and were abridged as to the situation with the tailed beasts, aside from Gaara of course. Naruto and B were apparently on some floating-island-turtle-thing and they were currently engaged in intense training and some sort of fake mission that had been given to them to keep them busy. I just hoped it lasted a while.

Our time spent at the Hidden Cloud Village was spent very busy, as all the Kage were constantly in meetings, and when they weren't in meetings they were planning out squads and platoons. Not to mention all the ranks had to be filled, and positions assigned, and leaders chosen for all the different forces. The Allied Shinobi forces were split up into five battle platoons, depending on their combat specialty. Three other support platoons were created, medical, intelligence, and reconnaissance. It was decided that Gaara would be the Captain of Battle Squad Four, as well as the Commander in Chief of all five Battle Units.

That was a shock to me. The Kage meetings were all conducted in privacy, all guards staying out in the hallway of the big circular room they used for these meetings. After about a week there, Gaara came out of the meeting looking perfectly calm and normal, but I could sense something coming from him, some sort of shock, and perhaps a little bit of nerves, and I knew something had happened.

"What is it?" I asked quietly as we walked from one part of the building to the other.

"It's been decided that I will be Commander in Chief of the Allied Shinobi Forces. As well as Captain of Battle Unit Four."

I blinked and then gave a low whistle. "Holy shit."

And then we had to pause our conversation because we were in the strategy room, and I took my position behind Gaara as he joined in the discussion there. It had been like this for the few days we had been here so far, going straight from one part of the building to the next as all the commanders prepared for the upcoming war. It was back to working night and day and never having any alone time, aside from the few hours we managed to grab of sleep.

Even so, I had to say that the location was beautiful, the mountain vista views from all the windows were spectacular. I never tired of watching the clouds sweeping by below us, which was good, because I was spending a lot of my time staring out of windows while Gaara did his business. It was good that I was able to at least participate in some of the meetings, otherwise I would have gone batshit crazy by now. My capacity as an advisor as well as his body guard came into play during these circumstances, and it was a new and interesting situation to find myself being listened to and respected. I had never before been given the opportunity to test my skills at strategy, but it turned out that I had a pretty keen mind when it came to that sort of thing, which I was grateful for, because it allowed me to assist in the strategy meetings.

And then we got the news that the floating island's location had been compromised, an intelligence leak of some sort, and that one of the Akatsuki had attacked the island, I think it was that shark guy. An emergency Kage meeting was summoned and they disappeared into that round room again, the security even tighter now that some information had leaked.

When they came out, Gaara told me that the Tsuchikage had flown off to intercept the island and bring it back safely. I scoffed, since I had heard him complaining about his back from out here. Gaara did his version of rolling his eyes and we walked off.

And so it went, for the next week or so. Despite the true war having not begun yet, we were so busy that we couldn't spend our last few days together, at least not in the way I would have liked, but even so, I was content just being by his side and working with him.

As the time came closer, we all received new headbands, which simply said said 'Shinobi,' instead of the different villages. The final preparations were underway, and we were all psyching ourselves up for battle. Soon, sooner than I would have thought possible, everyone was assembled, the entire Allied Shinobi Forces. All the shinobi from different Villages, shoved into one small space, and quickly we could see arguments break out, from our perch way up high on the balcony above. As the noise of angry voices started to rise, Gaara's eyes narrowed, and I could see he was displeased.

 _Oh boy._

And then, right on que, as fights almost started breaking out, there was a smattering of many small sand explosions, forcing people who were about to get into a fist fight apart. Dozens of them, possibly hundreds of them, went off all at once as Gaara broke them all up before anyone could get hurt. It definitely got their attention. The explosions were just little burps really, just enough of a sandy puff to blow some space in between two people. But still, the fact that they all happened at once, and were so delicate, and accurately aimed so that no one was hurt, proved how powerful he truly was. Everyone's eyes pointed up towards him in shock, amusement, distrust, fear, and many other emotions in their eyes.

As he drew their attention he began to speak, his voice amplified by the space, and his deep, commanding voice was impossible to ignore. "In the name of gain and profit for one's nation and village, shinobi have hated and hurt each other for many years, from the first to the third great ninja wars. That hatred bred a lust for power, which gave birth to me. I too, am a Jinchuriki, the embodiment of those two vices. I once hated this world and all its people. I yearned to destroy both. In some ways, I was no different from the Akatsuki."

He took a deep breath and his voice grew just a tad softer, more emotional. "But one leaf ninja stopped me. That ninja cried for me, his enemy. He called me _'friend'_ even though we had fiercely battled each other. He saved me. We were on different sides, but we were both Jinchuriki. There can be no bad blood between those who have experienced the same pain."

He paused once again, and then his voice rose, filling the space with a deep, passionate exclamation. "There are no enemies here in front of me! For we all bear the pain of having been hurt by the Akatsuki. There is no sand, no stone, no leaf, no mist, or cloud. We are all simply Ninja! If you still can't forgive the sand, you can come back and face me when the war is over. That friend who saved me, is now a target of our enemy. If he falls into their hands, the world as we know it is finished. I want to protect that friend. And this world. I am too young, too inexperienced, so I ask you, all of you to please lend me your strength for this fight!"

As he spoke his voice grew louder, more fervent, the growl deepening and roughening with emotion as he spoke his heart, perhaps for the first time in front of strangers. I had heard those tones in his voice before, but I knew most people hadn't, not even the people of his own village. And his impassioned speech was met with cheers, as everyone's faces changed, the animosity melting away. When Gaara actually chose to speak he could mobilize armies.

As he spoke I could feel myself growing more and more impassioned myself, his deep voice compelling and almost bringing me to tears, yet at the same time making me want to fight, to fight for him and with him. My heart was fit to bursting, the pride inside of me probably making me glow. _They chose the right man for this job, that's for sure._

And then Gaara roared, "All who feel as I do, follow me!" And there was an answering roar from the crowd below.

And finally, the war had begun and we took battle platoons into the battlefield, Gaara leading at point, while I ran a little behind him. Kankuro ran at the point of the Surprise Attack Division, which was a supporting unit, Kakashi was at the head of the Third Regiment, and Kitsuchi and Darui both had their own regiments as well. It was sort of confusing. There were so many regiments and supporting divisions that I had trouble keeping track of them all, at least without a map in front of me. All I knew was that I was following Gaara and we had Regimen Four behind us.

Eventually all the regimens broke off from one another, heading off to different battle fields. I made eye contact with Kankuro, and we nodded to each other seriously as his support unit went off ahead. As the Surprise Attack Unit, they were in charge of reconnaissance and thus were going ahead in front of everyone else. I nodded to Kakashi as well when he split off.

The twins had been placed in a different division from mine so as they peeled off I gave them a wave and called out to them to be careful. I was so glad the higher ups had been smart enough to keep them together. Technically I could have probably been placed anywhere, aside from Medical Core, since I had abilities that would complement all the units sensory, long range, short range, and midrange, but of course as Gaara's right hand I was with him. Thankfully.

We ended up in some very strange desert arid area, with these big standing rock formations. It was actually quite pretty, in a barren, very austere sort of way. And then we stood around for a while, waiting for the enemy.

We were updated periodically and one of the updates that came through, perhaps three or four hours after we'd arrived and taken up positions, disturbed everyone greatly. Apparently the enemy was mostly comprised of reanimated ninja that had long been dead. Everyone freaked out, but as the news came that they could be defeated by sealing them away, I could feel the soldiers around me relaxing some. While it was frightening to have to fight an undead army, at least we'd be able to stop them.

We didn't have to wait long after that. Only a few hours later, Gaara and I sensed foreign chakra disturbances happening a little ways off. Gaara sensed it through the sand of the desert and I sensed it through the widespread chakra-laced wind net I had placed over this entire area.

Gaara jumped up on top of a big rock and I jumped up after him, waiting patiently while he did his third eye jutsu and sent the floating eyeball in the direction of the chakra we could now feel. He spoke lowly and said, "There are four, and among them is my father." I gasped, my head whipping around to look at him.

"Your father?!"

"Yes…along with the second Tsuchikage, the third Raikage, and the second Mizukage."

"Oh good lord." I groaned.

Gaara quickly gave the signal to let everyone know the enemy was getting close. And then we found out through the Intelligence Core that one of the enemy that we would be facing possessed something called the Kekkei Tota. Gaara and I listened in from on top of our rock as Shikamaru explained what exactly it was, saying that a Kekkei Tota user was born with three different chakra natures fused together. Apparently it was a very rare and powerful jutsu, and the Second Tsuchikage, who we would soon be facing in battle, possessed it.

It was at that moment that we were joined by the current Tsuchikage, who flew in from above.

"You didn't have to get up. We could handle it." Gaara responded to the new arrival, apparently not entirely pleased by the reinforcement's identity.

He just chuckled and huffed, "Well it was you who lit the fire underneath me. I'm going to retrieve here what I had previously forsaken."

 _Huh, seems like Gaara's words at the Five Kage Summit had a lasting effect on the guy. Cool._

"Well, that's great. Welcome aboard." I said, grinning at him. I really did like the guy, he kind of reminded me a little of Granny Chiyo, with his cranky personality.

Then we got orders for half of our company to go to a different front and assist there, while we all retreated very slowly. The four Kage didn't seem too enthused or overly eager to attack so they just kept coming at a slow walk, unable to stop apparently, but not driven to catch up with us either. So, we did that for a while, and then eventually, reached a point where we were all sick of running.

So, we decided to make a stand. It was agreed that the three most powerful shinobi would go first, which of course were the two Kage, and me. It made sense for the two Kage to go, and since I too had Kage-like strength thanks to Kitty, no-one thought it was strange for me to go with them. We decided to head them off, weaken them, see how they fought, and whether they split up. At that point we left it up to Shikamaru, being the excellent strategist that he was, to order the movements and actions of the rest of the company as Acting Captain.

Gaara started things off with a Sand Tsunami, sending it right at them. It was stopped by a glittering golden wave, very similar to Gaara's sand, but was comprised of gold dust instead. I blinked. "Oh hey, that's your dad's isn't it? Controlling gold dust with a magnetic style jutsu?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed and he nodded, looking rather displeased by the whole thing. I could imagine this was very difficult for him, his father had hurt him so badly in the past, and I knew that had left a deep scar in Gaara's heart. Seeing his father again would naturally reawaken all those old buried memories.

I knew now was not the time to sympathize with him though, and I watched, concerned as his sand slowed down, responding sluggishly to his commands as it was weighed down with the gold dust. Gaara floated on his sand and I summoned my wings to my back, sending a burst of wind out that had dust and sand and gold dust going everywhere.

After Kitty and I had merged that one time, I had gained my newest ability. Along with her tail, I now could bring forth her wings. As always the process of changing hurt like a bitch, the skin stretching and then tearing along my back as the two large dragon wings emerged from my back, black and covered in fine silver scales that glittered in the bright desert sunlight.

Gaara actually didn't know about this jutsu, since I had been practicing it at night after he had retired to his chambers, before we started sleeping together. But in that short time I had mastered it with Kitty's help, and I layered my wind scale armor over my new flesh and blood wings, the same scales that had originally made up my wind wings. But now I could layer them and have them be dormant, simply a skin tight wind barrier as armor, or I could activate them and use them to send raging gusts of wind at the enemy.

Gaara eyed them with some shock, "What the…hell?"

I grinned. "I may be your body guard Gaara, but that doesn't mean I still don't have aces up my sleeve you don't know about. These are Kitty's. I acquired them when I saved you, so thanks for that."

The corners of his lips twitched, both proud and amused. "Indeed. You're just full of surprises, Ren."

I soared into the sky easily now, landing neatly on his sand with him, which expanded a little to give me room. The new wings were easy to control, nothing like my old wind wings that had been just as likely to blow up in my face as they were to help me.

We hovered over the settling sediment waves below us, and I could see the expression of shock on Gaara's father's face. Suddenly I was struck with rage. It had been this man that had separated us, that had ruined both of our lives. A low growl started up in my chest, and I felt my eyes shifting. Gaara knelt and made a hand motion, and suddenly four claws emerged from the glittery sand and grabbed onto the Kages' legs. All except the Tsuchikage, who leapt back out of the way. Our Tsuchikage had that covered though, because he was setting up his Particle Dismantling Jutsu as he hovered above them.

Both Tsuchikages blasted each other with Particle Style and they canceled out with a bang that had us all scooting back a tad. Our Tsuchikage retreated and floated next to Gaara and me, and we watched as the fourth Kazekage slapped a hand to the claws holding his leg, making all the sand go flat and useless on the ground.

Gaara spoke up, keeping his voice monotone and emotionless as he called, "Father…it's been a while."

His father responded with, "Yes Gaara. But where is Shukaku?"

I blinked. "The hell?! That's the first thing you ask? What's wrong with you?"

His father looked at me, startled and confused. Gaara drew his attention when he said, "Half of him is still within me. The other half was taken. But I…I am no longer the monster that you created, Father."

His father frowned. "What do you mean?!"

"Some time ago, those that control you removed half of Shukaku's chakra from me, and in doing so nearly killed me. But thanks to the assistance of Granny Chiyo and my friends, I am still alive today."

"You mean Lady Chiyo did that for you? Wait hold on! You said _friends_? Are you telling me that you actually have _friends_?!"

I snarled, infuriated.

The enemy Mizukage piped up, sounding bemused. "You didn't think he'd have any friends? Did you really believe that your son would just be alone this whole time? He was a kid! Everyone has friends at that age!"

I growled, "I've been his friend since he was five! But you didn't know about that did you?"

His father once again looked at me with utter confusion, but before he could respond he was distracted by Gaara saying, "Six, Father. You made six attempts to kill me. And each time my fear and hatred of you increased. But I no longer harbor any hatred for you, Father. Now I'm even able to understand why you did it. I've become the Kazekage. It is a leader's duty to eliminate threats against one's village. We must protect it."

"What did you say?! You are…Kazekage?"

Our Tsuchikage spoke up at that point, adding, "And that's not all of it! He's also been named the Commander in Chief of the Allied Shinobi Forces. Despite his young age, he not only calls himself Kage, but has the respect of the other Kage as well."

The enemy Tsuchikage spoke up, saying, "Now it all makes sense. I thought it was odd that I sensed chakra types from various villages all mixed together. Just imagine, shinobi united in an allied force."

The enemy Mizukage commented, "Well apparently what you lack in eyebrows, you more than make up for in charisma. Hm, actually come to think of it, I'm just the same!"

"Then explain that sorry excuse for a mustache." The enemy Tsuchikage countered. I sputtered in laughter at the dig. He really did have a silly wispy looking mustache.

"If you're going to kill us, then I suggest you guys start with the mummy here! I'd be more than happy to cheer you on!" The enemy Tsuchikage announced, pointing to the enemy Mizukage, who did in fact look like a mummy, all wrapped up in bandages for some strange reason.

I laughed some more, amused by the Kages' bickering. Apparently, bickering Kages was something that lasted through the ages.

"It seems this reanimation jutsu may actually have something of merit to it after all." Gaara's father said, after a pause. "Come show me. Let me determine once again what you may be worth Gaara! Can you defeat me or can't you?!"

That pissed me off. And my wings flared behind me, making a crack of air that sounded like thunder as I growled, "Who are you to determine what Gaara is worth?!"

Gaara's father once again looked at me with bemusement, frowning in confusion as he looked at me intently. "And just who are you?"

"I am the bodyguard of the Kazekage, who also happens to be my best friend and my lover. Gaara may have forgiven you, but I definitely have not." I didn't care that the Tsuchikage overheard me saying that Gaara was my lover, he wasn't from our village so it didn't matter.

He blinked and chuckled muttering something about 'youngsters today.'

Meanwhile Gaara's father gaped and seemed incapable of speech. And then the enemy Tsuchikage, Mizukage, and Raikage all spoke up, saying that they were unable to control their bodies, and that they would be forced to counter any jutsu we threw at them, but that they would even tell us all their strengths and weaknesses. As we attacked, the Tsuchikage gave Shikamaru the signal and the battle regimen surged forth.

I made to take to the sky, wanting to kick some Kazekage butt, but Gaara held me back, muttering, "I've got this." I settled back down, realizing that Gaara wanted to confront his father on his own.

Gaara's and his father's sand and gold collided again, and for a while struggled seemingly evenly, however, Gaara rose a cloud of sand higher into the air, announcing, "Sand Hail!" and sending down golfball sized lumps of hard compact sand. His father rose all the gold dust into the air, making a big umbrella to guard against the hail, and that was when Gaara captured him from below, with the sand he had lying in wait at his feet. The gold dust rose up and tried to land on Gaara's head, but was stopped by a large sand umbrella.

As Gaara's sand thoroughly ensnared his father, he spoke, saying, "You have truly grown up. Gaara."

Gaara's non-brows scrunched and he made a little huff of surprise, as he looked down at his father, and I heard his breathing grow a little unsteady.

His father continued, surprising the hell out of me with what he had to say. "What parents need to do, is to believe in their children. That one simple thing is the real treasure."

I heard another, tiny sound shudder out of Gaara's throat, barely audible, sounding shocked, unbelieving, and almost distressed in his confusion. His face showed the same emotions. His eyes widened and his mouth parted in shock and disbelief.

Gaara's father then said, "Isn't that the whole truth of it Karura? Now I see it clearly. I didn't possess the ability to judge the true value of things."

"What do you mean by that?" Gaara asked, his voice cracking just a little.

"Your mother…loved you!" His father announced, his voice cracking with sadness.

Gaara's eyes popped wide open, and I could feel him shivering next to me. He gaped at his father, utterly confused obviously, and my heart broke to see the pain and confusion on his face. "Father, did… did you really just say my mother loved me? But that day long ago…when Yashamaru came after me…" His voice was higher pitched, almost childlike, and shook, sounding slightly choked as if he might cry. I hadn't heard that particular tone in his voice for a long time. He sounded terrified, and yet so painfully hopeful that my heart clenched in my chest, and I waited with baited breath to see if his father was going to shatter him again. Gaara's eyes squinched a little as he watched his father.

"I told Yashamaru to lie to you then. He was merely following orders. I had to see if you would lose control of the tailed beast inside of you if you were distraught. For the sake of the village. If there was anyone Yashamaru truly hated, it would have been me and not you. I'm the one who forced Yashamaru's pregnant older sister Karura to suffer the seal of Shukaku the sand spirit. But Yashamaru was a consummate Shinobi. He was loyal to me, and a reliable ANBU black ops for the sand. He followed my orders for the sake of the village."

Gaara's eyes widened once again, as that same sort of soft choked-off sound came from him. His expression was heartrending, all scrunched up non-brows, opened mouth, wide eyes, totally shocked and disbelieving.

I choked, unable to believe what I was hearing. "You…you bastard! You did all that…to Gaara, to your own son! I don't care if you were the Kazekage, that was some kinda shit thing to do! You do realize of course, that Gaara was a perfectly normal kid before that right? And then at that point he went utterly insane! _You_ turned him into a monster, not Shukaku! You didn't even know he had a friend, you didn't think he was capable of it did you? You just thought he was a failure!"

"A…friend?" He looked up, confused.

"Oh yeah…a friend…that would be me. As I said before, we were friends long ago, and then you had to go and make him go all psycho, and it took me ten years to see him again! And then, he was a serial killer, which was totally your fault by the way. If you hadn't gone and made his uncle turn on him like that, he probably would have grown up like Naruto! I mean, it's no walk in the park to have a tailed beast inside of you, but he wouldn't have been all crazy with the bloodlust and shit." I was surprised when he bowed his head, admitting to it.

"It was all a mistake. Sometimes it seems that every single thing I did was a mistake. I burdened you unnecessarily. I arbitrarily decided that you held no true value to our village or to anyone. I took away your future by making you a Jinchuriki. Robbed you of your mother and poisoned you against her. I took away everything. Your ability to know or love others. I even tried to take your life."

Gaara seemed paralyzed, completely and utterly frozen.

"In the end, as a parent there is just one thing that I gave you. The only thing you got from me was a broken heart."

Gaara's teeth clenched and another of those shuddering, breathy sounds came out of his mouth. He stood there, shuddering, as he thought on his father's words, and his eyes squeezed shut, his face scrunching up as tears began to flow from his eyes. He sobbed and bent his head, bringing his arm up to rub his eyes, almost childlike in the innocent gesture.

Gaara's father spoke again, saying, "Mothers are powerful. Yours believed in you and loved you from the moment you were born. She's the one who made you what you are today. She allowed you to reach your destined role as Kazekage. And to make friends. She gave you bonds with your siblings and community. All the things that I took away from you. As your father, all I ever did was torment you. I don't even deserve to be called your father."

I didn't necessarily agree with all that. I thought it was Gaara who reached out, went to the effort to change, and it was Naruto who had smacked some sense into him, and it was me who had healed his heart. But I wasn't going to say anything.

"My mother is amazing. Thanks to her, I have now received medicine from you, Father. But…I also had many friends, and my brother and sister, and Ren, and they all helped me as well. Now, thanks to you, I have no doubt that my mother has been watching out for me all these years, but I would never discount my loved ones."

I smiled tenderly at him, touched that he had spoken up and said those things.

And then the sand began to cover the Fourth Kazekage and a sealing tag was put onto him. "Gaara, my son. You surpassed me long ago. I leave the village to you, Gaara!" He exclaimed, as he was sealed away in a big pyramid.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hope you enjoyed the morning after. :3

The war has begun! So far so good, no major wounds or anything to speak of.


	79. Burn With Me: Chapter 61 & 62

That was one down, three to go. We still had the Raikage, Mizukage, and Tsuchikage to take down. The two Tsuchikages were duking it out a little ways away, doing their Particle Dismantling Jutsu over and over. Meanwhile the Raikage and Mizukage were able to break free from their sealing tags, one bursting forth with lightning and the other letting forth some water and melting the sand around the tag.

I sighed, groaning. "Well damn. There goes that."

Gaara had recovered from his emotional turmoil, though I knew inside he was still very unstable, but for now he had put aside his emotions and was once again all business, focused on the battle. The company surrounded the two enemy Kage

"Hey! Do not underestimate my jutsu! You seriously need to stand back! For real!" The Mizukage exclaimed.

"For real?" One of the troops said and everyone widened the circle around them.

"Now, here are all my weaknesses," The Tsuchikage announced, "For real…"

Another troop responded, "For real?"

I rolled my eyes. He had them eating out of his palm. Apparently, he really liked to put on a show, but at least he was being helpful.

"Yes. For real. Now listen! I use shadow style. In other words, that means Genjutsu! And my summoning…" He bit his thumb, "Is a giant clam!" Which he then summoned.

The Raikage spoke up. "And I'm a lightning style user. Line up your earth style shinobi to use them as a shield! And attack with your wind style Shinobi."

Temari said, rather sarcastically, "Great, thanks for the intel. You have any other details you can tell us?"

"I'm not in control of my body. There's no time for more talk. Come on!" He shouted aggressively and I groaned, finding him to be very similar to the currant Raikage.

I sighed and Gaara nodded. We opened our communication line, so that we could communicate and be aware of each other, even separated, and I went for the Raikage. After all, as a wind style user, he would be the perfect target for me.

As I was leaving I heard Gaara say to the troops, about the Mizukage, "I leave him to you." Which got a few protests. Including the Mizukage, but Gaara wasn't having any of it. Obviously he had a plan. "Deal with him." I heard him being all bossy and grinned.

"You can leave him to us. We'll get wispy whiskers!" Some idiot shouted after Gaara.

I barked a laugh as I chased after the Raikage, finding that comment hilarious. I kept tabs on Gaara, though our connection, widening it to feel more of what was going on over there.

As I joined up with the others I saw that the battle wasn't going super well, no one seemed able to catch the guy. He was like the current Raikage and moved super-fast with lightning style. Temari tried catching him in a giant wind style net along with the other wind users, but once again, that didn't work. It was explained to us, by someone from the Intelligence Core who must have known the Raikage, that not only was he super-fast and strong, but also had a body that was very resilient. _Great._

Temari spoke up, "So then how did he die, anyway?"

"He used himself a decoy to save his comrades. He stood against ten thousand, and it's said he lasted three days and three nights to buy his comrades enough time." The guy from intel said, and I heard Temari's thick swallow.

 _Well, guess it's up to me then. Okay, time to test my Telaria Jutsu against this guy._ "I'll take him…Temari, you and the other wind users back me up with long range attacks. I'll set him up for them. Don't give him a chance to recover."

"Ren? You sure you can take him?"

"With your help. We're the two most powerful wind shinobi from the Land of Wind after all." I grinned at her and she nodded.

 _Okay then_. I unfolded my wings from where they had been lying flat against my back, getting a few startled gasps as people saw them, and a few scoffing remarks.

I activated all my wind scales over the wings and said, "Everybody better stand back for this."

Mostly people backed up, certainly everyone from the wind village did, but a few scoffing fools decided to doubt me. I wasn't responsible when they were sent flying through the air at my first wing beat that sent me shooting into the sky. With my wind scales over my wings, I could go just as fast as when I had wings just made of wing, but I had a lot more control over them, letting me make the sharp turn once I had reached a good height. I flipped and headed down to the ground again, drawing my two short swords to start with because they were faster.

Right when I was on top of him, the Raikage used his lightning cloak to zip out of the way, I growled and my eyes shifted, my chakra getting stronger, and my vision sharpening to the point I could see his movements. I tracked him, and followed. Kitty assisted, helping with the wings, making us go faster and turn more sharply.

I was going so fast now that everything else was a blur. But the Raikage, who I was focusing on, was not, and I caught up to him. I saw the way his eyes widened a little in shock. "A wind user who's as fast as a lightning user? How unusual!" He growled.

I touched down, using Telaria Jutsu now, but still also using my wings to speed me along. I charged up both blades with wind style, until they were screaming in my hands. I summoned a wind barrier around my body, clothing myself in those wind scales along with my wings, which I had never done before, but it wasn't too difficult to figure out on the fly. With that armor, I was able to come into contact with his lightning without getting zapped and I attacked, catching him.

I wanted to finish this as soon as possible, because I really wanted to return to Gaara and fight alongside him. But at the moment that just wasn't possible, since I was the only one who could take on this guy.

My wind-sheathed blades at first skimmed off his lightning cloak, so I increased the air coating them. They cut into the lightning a little now but still weren't quite reaching his skin. And then I saw his eyes go white, and I knew things were going to get worse as his mind was taken from him. He was under control of the enemy now, even more than before, and he stopped holding back. He made a weird fist, his fingers out strait, and I heard the Cloud ninja from before exclaiming and yelling that it was his most powerful Ninjutsu, the 'Piercing Four Fingered Thrust of Hell.'

 _Well, definitely doesn't sound like something I want to be hit by._

His hand came down on top of my sword, and I grunted at the weight. I was sent skidding backwards, and he would have broken through and probably cleaved me in two if Kitty hadn't taken it upon herself to take over the wings and thrust them forwards, sending him flying and us scooting back away from him.

 _Well, shit._

 _Okay, time to pullout the big guns._ I saw the cracks in my short sword and tsked. I put my smaller swords away and drew Kamikaze, the blade singing for me as always. I coated her in so much wind that she sang and then howled, growing so loud that everyone had to cover their ears.

I sharpened that wind, her shape and the special chakra honed into her blade making it easy to pack the wind in tight. She was special, I'd found out that she contained chakra within her, and when I used wind on her she not only sang, but power was released within her, making the wind around her sharper, more powerful, and more deadly. She was a true wind sword, the likes of which I'd never had before. And every time I used her, I could feel my mother's spirit, just a little, the chakra that she had used on the blade coming out as well as my own. I knew when this blade passed on to its next owner, they would be able to feel my chakra, along with my mothers. I could even feel my grandmother's, and my grandmothers' before that, generations of women that had powerful wind chakra. They all backed me up.

I had never charged it up to this extent, but that's what I was doing now, and she began to glow, just a little. With this, I might be able to counter his attacks. He lowered his fingers down to three, and I felt his chakra surge. _Okay, so the less fingers he has, the more powerful his hand._

I darted back in, seeming to come from the front, but actually at the last minute flapping my wings, which sent him stumbling, just a little, and landing down behind him. "Now Temari!" I shouted, and her weasel came out to play, flying through the air towards us, carving up the ground.

When the Raikage turned, forced to meet my attack from behind, I met his hand with my blade, and she screamed bloody murder at the contact. I gritted my teeth, holding firm. Temari's attack hit him from behind. I broke his hold, at the brief lapse in concentration and slashed my sword across his chest, Kamikaze easily slicing through the lightning cloak.

But that wasn't enough, because he was a reanimation, and he needed to be put so out of commission that the sealing core would have a chance to wrap him up.

 _Damn it._

I swung my sword again, catching him on the shoulder, but he took the opportunity to get his three-fingered hand up and between us, going right for my chest, grabbing my sword with his other hand and holding me in place. There was no getting out of this one.

Even though Kitty beat our wings, he held us firm, and I wasn't letting go of my sword, because that would lose us this fight. At the last second, Mau popped into being on my shoulder. She dashed down my arm and sword so fast the air warped around her, and she wasn't visible for a split second, and then her claws bit deeply into the Raikage's hand holding my sword hostage, and I was shocked by the damage they inflicted. She tore off one of his fingers entirely, almost frighteningly easily, and his hand came off my sword, letting my wings send me back right as his fingers brushed my skin. Mau poofed out of being in a blood red mist, reappearing on my head. "Allow me to assist you, Meow!"

Even though his fingers had just barely brushed against me, I was hit with a bolt of lightning, right in my chest, is what it felt like, the electricity surging through me. Kitty hustled to reroute the electricity away from my heart, channeling it down and through the sole of my foot into the ground. I gritted my teeth as I felt the skin burn on my foot. Mau darted down my body, and I took to the air. The sole of my shoe had been blown right off, and the bottom of my foot was charred so bad I couldn't walk on it. Mau curled around my ankle and placed her paw on the burn and I felt a surge of strange chakra go through me. It was healing chakra, but so intense and aggressive it was nearly unrecognizable. And yet, it healed me in an instant, despite being just as painful as the injury.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was momentarily distracted from his battle by the sensation of lightning going through his chest and he gasped, feeling as though the excruciating power just barely missed his heart before traveling down his body and leaving his foot. The sensation disappeared as fast as it had come leaving him gasping and wide eyed. _What the hell was that?_

It took him a full couple of minutes to figure out that it hadn't been an attack from the enemy, at least not the one he was fighting. A surge of terror shot through him as he realized that it was Ren that had nearly just been killed, based on the agony and the fact that if that electricity had hit her heart she would most definitely had died, and it only missed by barely a centimeter.

 _Ren?! Are you okay?_

 **Ren POV**

Mau scooted right back up and perched on my shoulder, her tail wrapping around my neck. Okay…with her here, I felt like I could do anything. Between Kitty and Mau, I was practically invincible. "Mau, remind me to give you a big kiss after all of this."

"Normally I don't accept kisses from humans, but for you I will make an acceptation. Meow." She purred.

And then I heard Gaara's voice calling to me, mentally through our connection. He sounded terrified. I realized I must have accidently transmitted some of the pain from the lightning. _Oops, sorry, did I transmit that?_

 _YES! ARE YOU OKAY?!_

 _Sheesh, stop shouting. Yes, I'm fine, but focus on your own fight! Kitty and Shukaku can maintain communication between us, if that happens again._

 _ **Good idea.**_ I heard Shukaku now, and Kitty agreed.

My attention returned to the battle at hand. _Okay, so now what._ I took in that scar on his chest, trying to figure out what had made it, if nothing seemed to hurt him. I touched down near the Cloud shinobi who seemed to know a lot about the Raikage and asked him.

He responded by saying that it had happened when he was fighting the eight tails. _Huh, okay…_

Right at that moment I felt through the connection with Gaara Naruto's chakra join the mix and I grinned. I knew he wasn't going to stay out of the fight for long. I also sensed that his battle came to a close. I heard Gaara's very angry and shocked response through our connection, he was so mad he accidently transmitted it. " _What are you doing here Naruto?! Why are you hear?!_ " And then at some sputtered response he snarled, " _You'd better be able to provide an explanation good enough to persuade me!_ " Oh man, he sounded absolutely infuriated.

And then Shikaku Nara from headquarters inserted himself into Gaara's head and started explaining why Naruto was there. I took the opportunity and used the connection to add myself into their conversation. " _Hey, Shikaku, could you connect me with the eight tails?"_

" _What the…Ren? How are you in Gaara's head?"_ He sputtered, and right away I noticed that it was different when talking with him, it was much more like talking and not like when I thought to Gaara. I could actually hear his voice.

" _Long story and top secret information. Sorry. But can you?"_

" _I suppose so, hold on."_

And then I heard the eight tail Jinchuriki in my head, who I'd never met before, so it was a little awkward. " _Hey, sorry about this, but apparently the eight-tails inflicted a major wound on the third Raikage, who I'm currently fighting and having a hell of a time doing it. How'd the eight-tails injure him?"_

They switched places and I asked the eight-tails directly, which was a little intimidating, but after dealing with Shukaku and Kitty it didn't faze me too much. He said that they'd both collapsed forwards, ready to attack but exhausted, and he didn't remember. I thanked him and cut off the communication.

 _Collapsed forward huh? Sounds like he wounded himself then._ That gave me an idea. I landed next to Temari next. "Get the sealing squad ready, I have an idea, and if it works it might give them just enough time to seal him away." She nodded.

I scooted back down, and reengaged the Raikage. I attacked him head on so that he was coming at me while I was flying strait at him, and I noticed with some trepidation that he came at me with one finger now. At the last minute Kitty and I managed to twist so that his hand went by us, and then right there I pulled back a little and swung my super charged-up Kazegame fist, the wind screeching around it, and slammed it right into his arm, thrusting his one finger into his own chest. It worked, and I was sent flying from the blast that ripped apart his own chest.

I skidded across the ground and just sat there as the sealing squad rushed forwards. They wrapped him up as his form splintered apart. It was trying to reform as the undead reanimations did, but it couldn't do it in time, and he was sealed away, for good this time. I groaned, folded my wings, and collapsed onto my back, everyone rushing forward at once with a loud cry of, "We did it!"

Man I was sore.

And then I picked myself up off the ground and said, "We need to head back, there's still the Mizukage to deal with."

Temari called, "Sure thing." And then as I opened my wings and took off, I heard her laughing and saying, "You go on ahead, we'll catch up." I turned and grinned at her, knowing she knew why I was so eager to get back.

I flew on ahead of them at a fast pace, eager to meet up with Gaara and Naruto. I came across them, a little ways away from the battlefield still, having just come from sealing the Tsuchikage. As soon as Gaara saw me I saw his eyes squint, and suddenly I was plucked out of the air with his sand. I yelped at the unexpected sensation of a sandy restraint gently but firmly wrapping around my waist under my wings and swiftly giving me a good tug as he dragged me to him.

Naruto laughed.

As soon as I was in reach, Gaara grabbed my upper arms, and shook me a little, saying, "Goddammit Ren! Don't scare me like that again!" Mau's hopped from me to Naruto's head, who looked up curiously at her. She ignored him.

I sputtered, "Sorry, Sorry, I didn't mean to -mph!" Naruto's jaw dropped, his eyes bugged out, and he turned bright red as Gaara grabbed me and kissed me fiercely, right in front of both Naruto and the Tsuchikage, who just laughed and said something about 'crazy youngsters.'

His lips crashed against mine with an urgency that belied his fear that I had been hurt and he moved them over mine desperately as if to reassure himself that I was still very much alive. I was only too happy to prove to him that I still had a pulse, which ramped up pretty quickly with the heated way his lips caressed mine. It was a very brief kiss, if intense, and when he pulled away I was left blinking up at him, somewhat in shock. And then I grinned, "I made you cuss!"

He just sighed, exasperated, and released me. I folded my wings and hung out with him on his sand, which was still moving forward of course, and Mau jumped back over to me, landing once again on her spot on my shoulder. Naruto on the other hand seemed to be having trouble as he sputtered, "Wha-What… What the…Gaara! Ren! He just…you just…and you're not surprised! What the hell is going on here?!"

I took pity on him. "We're a couple. But don't tell anyone, it's kind of a secret, since I'm his bodyguard."

After a minute Naruto seemed to process it and a broad grin spread across his face. "Alright! Yeah! Congratulations you guys!"

We chuckled and continued flying on towards our next confrontation with the enemy.

 **Chapter 62**

As we floated along at a brisk pace on Gaara's sand, he glanced over to me and I saw him tilt his head and look behind me curiously. I wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at until he reached out a hand and lightly touched one of my wings, on the upper curve. The sensation was shocking, I hadn't realized how sensitive my wings were until that light gentle touch of his hand.

I twitched and looked at him questioningly.

"It's hard to believe…" He simply muttered, lightly running a finger down one of the long bones.

I shuddered and dispersed my wind barrier so he could touch my skin. Well it wasn't just skin, there was that fine layer of fine silvery scales over the black skin. But still.

He drew back his hand, "Sorry." He apologized, apparently thinking that I didn't like him touching them.

"No, no. It's fine. I dispersed the wind barrier so you could touch the skin." I reassured him. "Actually it feels pretty good."

"Really? Interesting." He hummed, going back to lightly stroking them curiously.

I shivered and a purr started up in my chest. It was a good thing Naruto was utterly distracted and focused on the closely approaching battle, or else I might have gotten a little embarrassed at the mild PDA. But the touching helped to sooth my nerves, and though our connection I could feel that it helped to sooth Gaara as well.

But that couldn't last forever, and soon we were approaching the new battle. Out of the four Kage, only one was left, just the Mizukage. As soon as we arrived Naruto hustled off to another battlefront at the direction of Shikaku, and the Tsuchikage, Gaara, and I headed off to take on the Mizukage. When we got there, the whole company was lying around, looking exhausted, but mostly unharmed, and the Mizukage was making bubbles. Seriously, making bubbles. I blinked, a tad confused, and amused by the jutsu, even though I knew it probably was pretty dangerous. It just looked so silly to be fighting with bubbles.

Thankfully we got there in time for Gaara to put up a sand shield in front of the soldiers in the line of fire, and the bubbles exploded onto his sand, dampening it and making it get all soggy and useless. The second thing I noticed, was this huge thing behind him, and it took me a second to figure out it was a giant clam. How a clam could fight, I had no idea, but I suspected it probably had Genjutsu or something.

The troops looked extremely happy to see Gaara and there were exclamations of "It's Commander Gaara!"

The Mizukage turned and said, "Hey! What took you so long?! Now! I hope this time you'll be able to seal me!"

Gaara responded firmly, "Yes, I intend to."

The Mizukage grinned and said, "I'm looking forward to it." And then a bunch of bubbles came shooting at us.

Gaara's sand wrapped up around us, but the bubbles were of course wet, so I put up a wind shield and we dropped down onto the ground. His sand was not going to work as a shield against the bubbles and a whole barrage of them went for the company. His sand was dispersed, and a few bubble bombs went off, sending some of the troops flying. I gasped, and quickly opened my wings, flying up and forming the hand signs for a strong Wind Barrier Jutsu that I could just leave and not pay a lot of attention to. I set it up in front of the troops to guard them from the bubbles and said, "Stay behind the wind barrier! You should be safe there!"

The troops all cheered and huddled behind the shield.

That took care of one problem, but the fact remained that bubbles were still being sent our way. I could feel Gaara using a sensory jutsu, sending out a fine sand dust to hunt out the actual clam, since the one in front of us was obviously a mirage.

The bubbles hit the sand shield in front of Gaara and I could hear his frustration through our link, and he sent a thought across our communication line. _This is more like oil than water. Even if I use sand as a defense, it'll just seep in and collapse it._

 _Oil huh? That's no good. I'll be in charge of defense then._

I saw Gaara nod and knew he had heard me.

"You tried to stop Mu first didn't you? You always have to stop the strongest opponent first! That's what winning a battle is all about!" The Mizukage whirled around and pointed at us.

Gaara responded with, "We did." And I snorted at the Mizukage's offended expression.

"Oh please! It's obvious that I'm the stronger one! I mean that Mu guy looks like nothing more than a half dead mummy! Am I right?"

"Maybe. However appearances can be deceiving. You are strong." Gaara murmured. And the Mizukage preened.

"And you know, technically, you're both dead." I pointed out, and the Mizukage paused, looked at me, and then chuckled.

"True, I guess. But still! Hey wait! What do you mean by appearances can be deceiving?"

"Your wispy whisk-mmph!" One of the troops almost said, another muffling it.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes at their stupidity. I mean seriously, it's not like we wanted to piss the guy off.

"I already told you! I'm not even here! You're seeing my giant clam's wide range Genjutsu! It's a mirage! Physical attacks are useless. You must find the giant clam quickly and crush it or this will never end!" And then he paused and said, "Ah, yes, you use sand!"

"I simply prefer to let my actions do the talking for me." Gaara said.

And at that moment, I could feel that Gaara had found the clam and the Tsuchikage shouted, "It's over there!" As Gaara's sand revealed it, I could hear the Tsuchikage's Particle Style Jutsu raring up.

"I see! You were already searching for it with your sand. That's why you were distracted and only focused on defense. Well, finally, at last I get to face a worthy foe! Now hurry up and defeat me already!" The Mizukage exclaimed excitedly.

And at that moment, the Tsuchikage's Particle Style fizzled out. So he jumped off the sand and dived down towards the giant clam. He managed to crack the clam and undo the mirage with a jutsu that weighed down his rock covered fist, but it was obvious he threw out his back while doing so.

 _The Genjutsu's undone._ Gaara thought.

 _Yeah, but it looks like the Tsuchikage hurt himself while doing it. We better go help him._

Gaara was able to substitute a sand clone in for the Tsuchikage and we whisked him out of the way as the enemy Mizukage pointed his finger at him and fired off his water pistol, which was a high speed bullet of water fired from his fingertip. The clone collapsed into sand which then attacked the enemy Mizukage. Since he wasn't blowing bubbles anymore I undid the Wind Barrier Jutsu to conserve chakra.

"Oh my, thank you for that Kazekage." The Tsuchikage groaned, bent over and holding his back.

As the sand wrapped around the enemy the Mizukage glanced up and finally noticed the hovering sand eyeball that had been there the whole time. "You were watching over Onoki with that this entire time, weren't you?" He grinned widely, and muttered almost as if to himself, "Hm, this kid is gonna be seriously big! And he's browless!" And he grinned even wider.

 _Uh, oh, it seems he's getting a little too interested._

As the sand that Gaara wrapped around him dampened, he just kept wrapping more and more sand over the enemy. And eventually a huge pyramid took form and Gaara said, "Sand Mausoleum!" And visibly compressed it with his hands until it was almost shiny. The sealing core threw Kunai with sealing tags into the pyramid and we all thought we had got him, until it exploded in a big cloud of steam. I groaned.

The Tsuchikage then explained that the steam, which now had a very evil looking face on it, was not a Genjutsu, but that it was the infinite explosion ninjutsu of the Mizukage. "It gave my predecessor Lord Mu some real trouble! It's the Steam Imp!"

"Oh great…that's just…wonderful. What next?" I huffed as Gaara stared at it in aggravation and not a little surprise.

And then…it started hailing.

"Oh…right. Hail. Makes perfect sense." I sighed, setting up a lightweight wind shield above us.

"All the moist air that was forced upwards by the steam explosion earlier must have been cooled in the upper atmosphere and been turned into hail!" The Tsuchikage, whose name was apparently Onoki, stated.

And then the steam cloud shrunk and grew more solid looking, almost looking like a weird, demonic version of the Mizukage.

"What is this?" Gaara asked, sounding a tad disturbed.

"It's a clone comprised of oil and water taken from the Mizukage's body. The exterior surface of its childlike form is composed of oil while its interior is water. It's special feature is that it can both heat up and cool down easily. When it moves around the oil on its surface increases in temperature precipitously, which in turn causes rapid vaporization of the water inside, resulting in a steam explosion! And when the hail cools it, it shrinks back down to its original size and it's ready to explode again." The Tsuchikage explained.

The clone sprouted a blade alongside one arm, almost like the head of an ax. It charged, and it was very, very fast, so fast in fact, that Gaara's sand couldn't hit it. _It's faster than I imagined!_ Gaara's mental voice sounded stressed, understandably. The weird demonic imp-thing proceeded to ping-pong amongst the troops, knocking them around like a bunch of pool balls.

"The real Mizukage should be nearby! Don't bother with the imp, just go after the original!" The Tsuchikage ordered. "Another feature of this jutsu, is that it greatly weakens the caster while in use!"

One of the sensory type ninja shouted, "He's behind that rock!"

The Tsuchikage turned around too fast, threw his back out again, groaned, and sat down on the floating sand. Gaara, on the other hand, went zipping towards where the ninja had pointed, whooshing through the air with great speed on his sand. I joined him, flying up and keeping an eye on both him and the troops being beaten up by the imp. I set about doing my best to prevent the darn thing from doing too much damage to anyone, sending down gusts of wind to whack it this way or another, but it was a wily bastard, and really damn resilient, so it still managed to smack around some of the ninja.

Gaara, meanwhile had found the Mizukage, and announced, with a bit of an aggravated growl in his voice, "Before it stops hailing, I shall seal you!"

I left him to it, focusing more on the steam imp, which was now growing again. "The more it moves around, the faster the oil heats up and vaporizes the water inside! The hail stopped too! Another explosion of steam is imminent!" The Tsuchikage announced.

"Yeah, no shit." I muttered, trying to corral it with my wind, wrapping it around the big ballooning imp.

"We've trapped the original!" Someone shouted, which was stupid because then the big steam imp managed to break free from my wind and ran to tear off all the sealing tags on the big Mausoleum that Gaara had just managed to construct around the enemy.

"Damn it." I growled, getting sick and tired of Mr. Water Balloon.

The Mizukage's head popped out of the tip of the pyramid, in a rather humorous manner really, and he said, "Hey there!" I snickered. If things had been different, I really could have liked the guy, he was quite amusing. Someone threw shuriken at him and he said, "Uh, oh!" and stuck his head back down into the sand, popping up again once the danger had passed over him. "This really is a perfect hidey-hole!" He exclaimed.

I laughed, and flew over. "You know, it's a shame you're the enemy. I like you." I said, chuckling.

He grinned, "Why thank you!"

Gaara had this put upon expression on his face, and didn't look amused.

"I was once one of the five Kage too. As long as I still have my oil, your sand jutsu simply won't be able to touch me. Unless of course you can seal me up real quick!" He said affably, talking to Gaara now.

"That does seem to be the case." The Tsuchikage said, sounding rather sick of it all.

"Now, how are you going to take me down then?!" The Mizukage asked, much too excitedly.

"Honestly I was hoping that you'd tell us!" The Tsuchikage responded, his voice utterly exasperated.

"Na, I've changed my mind. I'm done with that. Sorry everyone."

"You were cooperative till just now. What, have you decided to help the enemy?!" Gaara asked, and he sounded pissed.

My head swung back and forth between the Tsuchikage, Gaara, and the enemy Mizukage, watching the rather odd and somewhat funny argument unfolding, finding it exceedingly entertaining. Even Kitty seemed amused and settled down next to my ear, watching them with bright green eyes.

"Nope. Wrong. I mean I _am_ a former Kage after all. And actually I am still helping you out! Only in a different way." The Mizukage responded to Gaara's accusation.

"Which way is that exactly?" The Tsuchikage asked grumpily.

"If you can't beat me, using all of your abilities, then you're worse off than I am you old fool!" He exclaimed and the steam imp jumped off the pyramid. "You'll never win against the enemy boss this way!"

"Well sure, but you're also using up our chakra." I pointed out, flying above him now. "To be honest, I think you're having too much fun."

"Perhaps." He laughed.

And then I flew off to help Gaara. The steam imp was advancing and growing bigger again, and Gaara was doing his best to stop it with waves of sand.

"Kazekage! You're just an ordinary child!" The Mizukage yelled, sounding irritated.

I tsked, not liking him as much anymore. Gaara's eyes widened in shock, and the steam imp exploded. I quickly summoned a wind shield to guard the sand barrier Gaara put up, making a double layered shield to guard the troops against the hot steam, and Gaara wrapped him and me in sand shields. The sand didn't hold up to the steam super-well, and some of that hot air broke through to singe us a tad, but the injuries weren't bad, they just stung a little.

As soon as the explosion was over, the sand peeled off me and I saw Gaara zipping through the steam towards the imp, which was now getting smaller again with the hail. I followed, soaring through the still humid air and reforming the wind armor over my wings and body.

"I'm impressed! You attacked, knowing you'd get hurt while protecting everyone at the same time!" The Mizukage told us as we flew through the steam towards him, Gaara on his sand and me with my wings. "But if you don't stop this, the same thing will keep happening!"

The steam imp darted forward, right at Gaara, who zipped backwards. The hail stopped and the imp started expanding again. As Gaara was rushing backwards on his sand I saw him switch out for a sand clone in the steam, hiding his real self low on the ground. I grinned and added to the confusion by blowing a gust of air at the steam imp from behind to confuse it.

 _I've imbedded gold dust into that clone. We have to get the imp to run into it so it will be coated with the gold._ Gaara thought through our link.

I blinked, thinking back, _Okaaay. Why exactly?_

 _The gold will melt when it heats up and then I'll cool it with cold sand and make it harden._

 _Oh, very clever Gaara. I'm impressed._ I grinned. _Leave it to me, I'll make sure he gets thoroughly coated._

With that in mind I twirled through the air and Mau readjusted, getting up right behind my neck, squeezing herself in between me and the hilt of my long-sword strapped to my back as her tail wrapped around my neck and her claws dug into the leather straps over my shoulders. I made sure to get the imp's attention as the sand clone snuck up behind it. And then, as soon as they were lined up, I tucked in my wings and dove at the imp, charging up both fists with my Kazegame Jutsu and impacting it right in its big water balloon belly.

It was knocked backwards with the strangest amorphous bounciness as my fists connected, which then caused the Gaara clone to explode into sand as the imp hit him. The steam imp went through Gaara's sand clone, squeezing through and then doing a weird thing like a jellyfish where it got narrow and then bulged back out. It landed on the ground with a _boing_ , the whole form wiggling like a water balloon in and extremely strange, nearly grotesque way.

Gaara appeared nearby from where he had been disguised by sand on the ground.

The Mizukage hollered, "The speed of you sand is no match! You'll never catch him! So what's…? Huh?" He paused as the sand Gaara called forth rolled over the big steam imp with no problem, the big water balloon guy just sitting there on the ground like a strange ball-man. Gaara's sand swirled around it like a whirl pool, and then it suddenly bulged up, as the steam imp inside exploded. Little cracks appeared and a few holes let out the steam. I hovered above it and beat my wings, sending drafts of cool air down onto the sand ball to assist in the cooling down of the already cold sand, thanks to Gaara having mixed it with the hail. After the smoke cleared, the sandy shell cracked, exposing a solid gold imp.

"There was gold dust hidden away within that sand clone from earlier. I took advantage of that thing's heat to melt and then bond the gold to it. Gold is about 20 times heavier than water, which is why it's movements had become sluggish." Gaara monotonely explained to the stumped Mizukage.

"But still, why didn't the imp explode then?"

"The sand that I mixed with the hail and Ren's wind was enough to cool this thing down. Gold also has good thermal conductivity. Which came in handy for chilling its water vapor and steam." Gaara said, his voice sounding bland, but I could detect the slightest hint of smugness deep in his tone.

"That was well-played, truly an act befitting a currant Kage! I'm impressed you came up with such a strategy." The Mizukage paused. "Wait a minute. I guess you really are a golden child after all!"

I snorted at the cheesy pun.

And then one of Naruto's clones skidded to a halt near us, exclaiming that he had seen an explosion of smoke and had come running to help.

Gaara told him, "We are almost done here."

"Good, but hold on, where's your enemy?" Naruto asked, looking around.

"Look at that! So you really do have friends!" The Mizukage announced, his head still the only thing showing, a funny tiny dot up at the top of the big pyramid.

"Huh? WHAT?! What is he?! He's got a really weird body!" Naruto exclaimed.

I started laughing, very nearly falling out of the sky, and Gaara said, "No, no. That's my jutsu." His voice only slightly sardonic, but mostly monotone. That only made me laugh harder and Gaara slid his eyes over to me, gently plucking me from the air with his sand to prevent me from tumbling the twenty or so feet to the ground in my hysteria.

The Tsuchikage laughed as well, saying. "Kazekage! Well, I see that you're the smart one out of your friends!"

"Hey!" I said, mildly offended.

He continued, ignoring me. "You make a good pair."

Gaara motioned and the sand started covering the Mizukage's face. Gaara smiled, ever so slightly, and said, "Oh really?" this time with a good dose of that sardonic humor, and some pleasure that I knew came from being told he and Naruto made a good pair.

I huffed. "And what am I? Chopped liver?"

Naruto laughed.

The sealing core attached the tags, and this time the sealing was successful. _Thank god._ After the battle, Temari, who had finally gotten back with the rest of the troops, started helping reorganize everyone.

"Extract the wounded. Anyone who can still fight, stand by for further orders!" And then she turned to the Tsuchikage. "Lord Tsuchikage, you should also seek medical attention."

Naturally he didn't take that too well and started complaining and blustering and fussing at us saying, "I can still take you young ones on!"

And then he yelled and grabbed his back. Again. To my great amusement, Matsuri and her friend came up, and grabbed him under each elbow, carrying him off. "Don't worry, Lord Tsuchikage, we'll take you to the medical tent."

He fussed at them both, "I am the Tsuchikage!"

"I know! I heard you yesterday!" Matsuri's black haired friend grumbled, loudly, and Matsuri giggled.

I was laughing too hard to hear or see what happened next. It was good to see that Matsuri had finally made some good friends, ones who weren't trying to seduce Gaara.

 **Author's Note:**

Okay so, I stuck pretty close to the anime on these scenes, but there's no way I'm gonna be able to outline the whole war, so I'm gonna need to start making up shit and glossing over stuff. Just so ya know. :3


	80. Burn With Me: Chapter 63 & 64

For that day at least, the fighting was over, and we were allowed to recover, the enemy momentarily being subdued for the night. Mau poofed out, recovering her own powers for tomorrow. We set up camp, a ways away from the front lines. Two groups of ten ninja took the watch in rotation, one group closer to the battlefield, and one around the perimeter of the camp.

I groaned and sat, exhausted from the day, as Gaara and I and the other head shinobi in our company held a meeting, discussing the tactics for tomorrow. We hadn't encountered any of the white zetsu, like the other companies, so that was good at least, but there was always the possibility that they might show up tomorrow.

We had Naruto's clone though, so he would be able to sniff them out if they tried to impersonate anyone. Otherwise, we had no strategy for that. It was difficult to plan, when no one really knew what to expect. Eventually we all decided on some various plans of action, in the case of several scenarios. If we were attacked again by several powerful reanimations like today, we would continue to handle it in the same way, divide and conquer. There were still enough ninja on the sealing squad to be split up into several groups if need be.

If we faced a united front, we would hit them with long range attacks first, and then close up specialists would move in, while being covered by the long range attacks from the back. We came up with other scenarios, but there was only so much we could do when we didn't know what was going to happen, so eventually we all called it a night and went to our tents.

Once in the Kazekage / Commander in Chief tent, I plopped my bedroll down close to the doorway, so that I could stop anyone who tried to come in uninvited. Then I stopped, thought about it, and realized that since we were in a tent, and someone with the proper jutsu could just sneak in from the ground, I'd probably be better off sleeping closer to Gaara. So I moved my bedroll to the center of the tent and set up a network of sensory chakra around the tent. I wasn't going to take any risks with someone trying to take out the Commander in Chief of the Allied Shinobi Forces.

I stayed in my clothes, not even taking off my armor, in case of an emergency. I sighed and slapped a leather patch over the singed hole in my breastplate, sealing it with some glue that bonded immediately and very tightly.

Gaara watched, his eyes tight. "What happened today?"

"Hm?" I grunted, looking up from my haphazard patching of my equipment.

"The hole in your armor. Was that when you were injured?"

I blinked. "Um, well, I wasn't really injured exactly."

He scowled. "Ren, you transmitted the pain through our connection. It hurt. A lot. I can't imagine you weren't injured."

I winced. "Sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"Don't apologize, just tell me how you were injured." He huffed, sounding just a tad aggravated.

I sighed. "Well, I got hit by the Raikage, and he was using a lightning style jutsu of some sort, and I got shocked pretty bad. But that's all that happened."

"That's all that happened? You were almost killed! I felt how close that electricity got to your heart!" He growled in an angry sounding whisper. I knew he wasn't mad at me, but had just been scared. I probably would do the same thing if I were in his shoes.

"Okay, okay. Yeah, so it could have killed me probably. But it didn't, thanks to Kitty, and thanks to Mau the exit wound healed up. I'm all spiffy now." I soothed.

He heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"It's okay, I know you were just scared. I would have done the same thing, believe me."

"I don't doubt it." He grinned, exhaustedly.

"Well, we've defeated the enemy so far, and we've survived, so I'd say we're doing good."

"Yes. I suppose so." He sighed again and sat down.

We rested until it was our turn to take the watch, and we did that for an hour. Sitting out there, in the dark, the desert night air cool on my cheeks, it reminded me so much of how this all started during the Chunin Exams so long ago. How I would sit next to Gaara at night and look up at the stars, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. I sighed at the memory, amazed by how much he had changed in just a few years. He had gone from a rude, psychopathic, serial killer of a brat to the Kazekage of the Sand Village, a man who was caring, compassionate, powerful, and yet unwilling to use that power in the bloodthirsty way he used to. He had turned into a truly magnificent leader.

I glanced over at him, his crimson hair dark in the light of the moon, but his pale eyes almost glowing as they reflected what little light there was. I still couldn't believe that we were now together.

After half an hour I was starting to get rather tired, still thoroughly exhausted from the day, and so to keep myself awake I sent out a little breeze and picked up some of the sand and dust from the ground, making a visible wisp that I swirled around through the air, making meaningless patterns. Apparently Gaara thought that was a good idea, because soon a small coil of sand joined my wisp in the air, and we played with our two elements, twining them around each other in the air and chasing each other. It was actually very entertaining, and soon I found myself laughing softly as I tried to catch his sand with my wind. Wordlessly we ended up forming almost a game of tag, where as soon as one touched the other the roles of pursuer and pursued would reverse.

Temari came to relieve us of duty, and she paused watching our game. She walked up beside me and watched as my wind caught up to Gaara's sand, swirling around the small tendril, which responded by likewise coiling around the wisp of air. She snorted and said, "You know, it's almost like watching your two elements having sex, and I'm not totally sure I'm comfortable with that. Get a room you two."

I gasped, flushing lightly and then chuckled, "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

She just shrugged and looked pointedly at the wisps of sand and air, which quickly dispersed.

"You have sex on the brain my dear, maybe it has to do with a certain someone…?"

Temari frowned and elbowed me in the side. I laughed and Gaara and I walked off as Temari took our post as we returned to our tent to rest some more.

The next day we prepared for battle, and we all lined up on the battlefield again, waiting to see what the enemy threw at us today. We waited a while, and then a whole bunch of enemies came at us from over the hill. Everyone freaked out a little, until we realized that they were generally a bunch of regular power level shinobi. Which meant they were just stalling us while whoever was pulling the strings put something else together, something probably a lot more powerful, and that did set off a few warning bells in my mind and I grew concerned.

However, amazingly it seemed that a bunch of people started to recognize some of the reanimated ninja. There were loud exclamations and all sorts of stuff going on as people reunited with loved ones and got to say things they hadn't had a chance to. I didn't really have much to do, so I just mainly stayed out of everyone's way as the reanimated people seemed to disintegrate on their own as they felt like they had said what they needed to say. A few seemed to get stuck and I witnessed a few tearful goodbyes as they needed to be taken down and sealed by the sealing core.

And then I flinched and ducked as I felt an abrupt whoosh of air over my head as a coil of sand whipped over me. I spun around to see Gaara wrap his sand around a sword that had been heading towards my skull. _Whoops_. I'd let my guard down a little, but there were still a good number of reanimated shinobi that hadn't found family and friends to talk them down, and they were still on the attack. Kitty fussed at me for being sloppy and I grumbled mentally at her lecture on being more aware of my surroundings. Not that she wasn't right or anything.

I drew Kamikaze, ready to take this guy out in a single swing and have the sealing core take over after that. He seemed to get quite angry at the sight of my blade for some reason and he shouted, "How is it that you have Kamikaze Tenrai? That sword belongs to my wife!"

I paused, blinking, utterly stunned and disbelieving. _What the…hell? No…no way…oh for fucks sake…you have got to be kidding me…_

"Uh. This was my mother's sword." I said, and took a good hard look at the guy.

I stepped closer, some dust being kicked up, and stared at him, much the same way he was staring at me. I felt the ground shift beneath me, and I didn't even notice Gaara's sand removing itself from my father's sword, as I realized that the man standing in front of me was, in fact, my father. I recognized him from my memory. The brown hair, the face that was shaped sort of like mine, even the sword.

"…Ren?" He whispered, his sword dropping to the ground as he seemed to completely snap out of the jutsu holding him captive. He looked into my eyes, and then I saw some tears welling up on his lashes as he shakily observed, "You have your mothers eyes."

I blinked, my mind blown. "Duh-uhm…oh…my goodness." I weakly murmured, my legs almost giving out on me.

I hesitantly stepped towards him, and then he swooped me up into a hug, and the brief image of him in that house, seen from over my mother's shoulder as he was murdered ran through my head, then disappeared as his arms wrapped around me. I could feel tears streaming from my eyes, and there wasn't anything I could do about them. For a long moment, seemingly endless, we embraced, both of us laughing and crying at the same time. After a while I pulled away, snorting embarrassedly as I wiped at my eyes and nose. Amazingly he did the same funny little embarrassed sort of snort as me almost at the same moment, and we made eye contact and started laughing as we realized that I had inherited that weird sound from him.

My dad held my shoulders and looked at me, holding me at arm's length, his eyes glittering with warmth and joy. "I see you've grown into a fine young woman. How long has it been since I last saw you?"

"About 17 years since…that night…" I murmured.

His eye saddened and he nodded. "Ah yes, of course. I see you remember that. I had hoped you would forget."

"I did actually, for the longest time. But I kept having these nightmares, and I couldn't remember them the next day. I mean I'd have really unpleasant nightmares that I could remember, but yeah. I had buried the memories so deeply, it took me a DNA test and seeing pictures from your file to remember. That wasn't fun at all."

"I see. Your mother had nightmares too. I'm sorry that you inherited that."

"Yeah, me too. But it kind of helps to know I got it from mom. It makes it seem a little, I don't know, less bad somehow." I knew it didn't make sense, but knowing it was something my mother had also dealt with almost made it okay that I had had these nightmares. The shared experience was almost like a bond that surpassed life and death.

He chuckled and hugged me again. "I love you Ren, I'm so glad I got to see you again, even though it's under these circumstances."

"Me too Dad…" I sniffled, getting all tearful again.

And then my dad pulled back abruptly and winced, grumbling under his breath. "Whoever's controlling me is trying to force me to attack you. You'll need to take me out I'm afraid." And he reached down to grab his sword again.

"I…I don't think I can…" I stuttered, thrown for a loop by this turn in events.

Gaara must have felt my confusion and distress because he suddenly appeared beside me, in that special stalker way he had. "What's wrong, Ren?" He murmured quietly.

"Um. Gaara, meet my…dad?" I squeaked.

My father looked Gaara up and down, as Gaara's somewhat widened eyes also took in his form. "So…who's this? Is he your boyfriend?" Dad said, his voice getting deeper and a little more manly, obviously going for intimidation.

"Um…awkward…well…yes actually." I rubbed the back of my neck, flushing just a tad.

My dad looked him over even more closely now, almost x-raying him with his gaze and then he nodded. "He seems like a fine young fellow." He announced, his voice going back to normal, and then he turned to Gaara, addressing him directly. "Now see here young man, you'd better take care of my little girl, or I'll come back and haunt you. Understand?"

Gaara nodded seriously, not having blinked once. And then apparently they decided to have a stare off, which I could tell my dad was losing as his eye started twitching a little. This impromptu manly show of endurance lasted for a few minutes before I decided to put a stop to it.

I sighed. "Hey Dad? Don't even bother trying to beat Gaara at a staring contest. He isn't human apparently, and can go hours it seems without blinking."

I saw the little quirk in Gaara's forehead that told me his non-brow just cocked. And his pale gaze slid to the side to pin me with that eerie stare of his.

I frowned at him. "Don't give me that weird non-blinking stare of yours. It still creeps me out, even if I am your girlfriend."

The corner of his lips quirked, and he kept up the silent stare. Apparently one of Gaara's odd moods had been triggered by the unexpected meeting of my father.

"Oh come on Gaara!….Blink already!" I huffed. This was getting ridiculous.

Gaara kept his face strait and then very slowly blinked, drawing it out. The odd exchange was abruptly interrupted by a shout and we turned to look at my father again.

"Woah! Uh, stop me please!" My dad yelled as he swung his sword around somewhat manically. Apparently the guy controlling these reanimated ninjas didn't have good control over them. Because some were poofing out, some were attacking very sloppily, and some were just going nutty, like my dad, as he did his best to not hit anyone with his crazy sword swings.

Gaara swiftly reached out a hand and flicked his fingers almost lazily to get a rope of sand to bind my dad's arms to his sides.

"Oh. Neat. That's a useful jutsu you have there. Sand?" My dad exclaimed, surprised and delighted.

"Sand is my specialty." Gaara said calmly, crossing his arms and doing nothing more, just restraining my father while we talked.

"So, I see your boyfriend is quite the accomplished Shinobi! And judging from your attire and the fact that you have your mother's sword, I'm guessing you are one too."

"Yep. Actually, Gaara is the Kazekage and I'm his bodyguard. Our relationship is a secret for now."

"REALLY?! Kazekage? You sure are young to be Kazekage, you must really be powerful." My dad looked at Gaara with much more respect and then nodded at me, looking seriously impressed. "Well, it seems you've done well for yourself Ren … as long as he's a good man and treats you right." He paused and squinted at Gaara, giving him the hairy eyeball again. "He's awfully taciturn. Does he always just stand there and look at you silently? And what's with the crossed arms? I mean, he may be powerful, but I hope he's nice. I would hate to have to disrupt my eternal rest to come and haunt him." The respect was short lived and he went right back to grilling Gaara.

I sighed and face-palmed.

Gaara, to my surprise chuckled deep in his chest, and I glanced up at him. His eyes glittered with mirth, even though his face remained impassive.

"You seem awfully amused Mister." I noted, and my dad looked very confused.

"How can you tell? He's like a blank slate!"

I shrugged. "I just know."

"Well, it seems that at the very least you know him well." He chuckled.

"Yep. Probably better than anyone else. Wouldn't you say?" I grinned up at Gaara and his face relaxed and softened as he looked down at me.

I could see the love in his eyes as his arms uncrossed and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear delicately. "Indeed." And one of his rare small smiles graced his lips. "And I would like to think the same about you."

I grinned. "Well duh. Of course."

I turned to my dad who looked all fuzzy and emotional and like he wanted to give both of us a big hug. "You two are so cute together. I can tell you love each other very deeply."

Our touching moment was interrupted by the sounds of a thunderclap and a massive gust of wind tossing a wave of soldiers on their butts from somewhere in the battlefield.

Dad winced and said, "Better seal me quickly, it looks like they got your mom too, and she's gonna be a tough opponent, let me tell ya. You'd better get going before she tears your troops to shreds."

Gaara's eyes widened and I gasped, both happy and terrified at the prospect.

"Okay Dad. I love you." I said, almost choking on the goodbye that felt like it came much too fast.

I got all tearful again as we attached a sealing tag to his chest. He grinned and happily said, "Take care you two! Take care of each other! Love each other! And never forget, I **will** haunt you if you hurt her!" He glared, only half joking, at Gaara for the last announcement.

I sobbed as his eyes closed and his body went limp as the sealing tag took effect and he was essentially sent into a coma. Gaara wiped the tears off my cheeks, and I sniffled embarrassed. We were interrupted by another great crash and turned to face my mom.

I was anxious and excited as we ran towards the ruckus, and then I skidded to a halt as I took in her familiar form. The light purple hair, the same purple eyes as mine, Kamikaze singing in her hand. I just stood there, speechless and feeling my eyes filling with tears yet again. She turned to me and then stopped at the sight of the hilt of her sword poking over my shoulder. How there were two of them, I didn't know.

"How do you…?" She gasped and then her eyes landed on my own. "…no…." She staggered back a step, her eyes going wide.

"Hi Mom." I said, grinning a little sadly.

"Ren?!" She gasped and then smiled beautifully. "You survived! I knew you survived! That's my baby!"

I grinned back. "I did survive Mom, and I inherited your powers too."

"Of course you did! Strong power runs in the women of our clan." She grinned proudly at me and then glanced at Gaara, who was standing right behind me.

"Is this your…?" She started asking, and I assumed she was going to ask the same question Dad had about Gaara.

I glanced at the circle of people we were currently surrounded by, all looking at us thanks to my mom's power and the fact she had just been kicking their butts. I nodded and then shook my head, both nearly imperceptibly, and then twitched my head to the side, glancing at the people surrounding us, trying to signal that yes he was my boyfriend, but it was a secret.

Her eyebrows rose. "Okay then. Moving to a different location."

She summoned wind to her and bounded into the sky, her feet landing on puffs of air. I grinned watching her show off a little. I had an awesome mom. Gaara called a sand platform to him and leapt onto it, pulling me with him as we chased after her. We ascended high into the sky, Mom hovering much like Gaara was, and I had to wonder why I'd never thought of that. I had gone the more difficult route and made wings. How stupid was I, when I could have just been stepping on air this whole time? Although it probably was a whole lot more difficult than she made it look.

 _ **Wings are much more attractive.**_ Kitty sniffed, sounding rather offend.

 _True, true. Definitely more impressive._ I soothed, realizing I had ruffled her by dismissing my wings. She settled down, and I turned to Mom.

She was eyeing the sand with interest. "That's a very interesting jutsu there, young man. Very similar to the Kazekage's if I remember correctly."

Gaara blinked and said, "My father used gold dust. I use sand. But essentially, yes, they are very similar."

"So! You're the Kazekage's son then?" Her eyebrows raised. She turned to me, "If he has a good attitude he might make a good match for you Ren. After all, you _are_ from a highly prestigious clan. But if he isn't compatible then kick him to the curb."

I laughed out loud. "Way ahead of you Mom. He's my boyfriend, and actually he's the new Kazekage. His father died some time ago. Although, as you picked up on down there, it's a bit of a secret right now, since I'm his bodyguard."

Her eyebrows crawled even higher on her forehead. "I see! Well, aren't you the classic love story in the making. Just don't die at the end, those endings suck."

I snorted, greatly amused.

"I can see where you got your sense of humor." Gaara noted dryly, with his own dose of sardonic humor sneaking into his voice.

I just laughed harder, nearly losing my balance and falling off his sand platform. A rope of sand whipped out of his gourd and wrapped around my waist to make sure I wouldn't fall.

My mom shook her head, watching us with affection and amusement. "You do realize that I'm going to have to attack you two. I'm not really being given a choice and I'm holding it off as long as possible, but I can't fight it for too much longer."

"I figured as much." I sighed, sobering up.

"I'm just going to warn you up front, though I'll try to hold back as much as possible. I'm powerful, so you have your work cut out for you."

I nodded and summoned my wings. Mom jumped in surprise, nearly falling off her own puff.

I grinned at her shock. "I'm pretty powerful too Mom. Don't worry."

She grinned back, her eyes sparkling. "I have the feeling this might be fun. Alright Honey, let's do this."

I leapt off the sand platform and did a nose dive to the ground, Mom hot on my heels. The first order of business was to get her far from the other troops, in case she pulled out any of her big attacks. I pulled up out of my dive once I'd gained good momentum and speared through the air, leading the way into the empty desert.

Once far enough away I turned, noting she was a little way behind me. She caught up though, saying "Well, you're fast. Faster than I ever was. I'm so proud of you Sweetheart."

I grinned, my heart swelling at the words of praise. I'd never known that I had thirsted for those words coming from her, until she uttered them. I drew my Kamikaze and she drew hers and we squared off. I went first, going for an uppercut, which she handily knocked aside, and used the tail of Kamikaze to lash me across my side. I winced, the metal ribbon not feeling super great as a whip.

"That's a nice move, I'll have to use it." I sputtered.

She winced. "Sorry Hon, I really don't want to hurt you."

"I know, but at least I can learn from you how to use Kamikaze in this fight." I huffed, quickly regaining my breath.

She nodded. "True. Thanks for helping me to not feel so badly about this."

"No problem."

If I was perfectly honest with myself, I was actually having fun, competing with my mom, dueling with her was something I definitely could have seen us doing as a mother-daughter activity, if she'd been alive.

Next, she sent a gust of wind towards me, one that had me toppling head over heels through the air. Gaara, who was hovering nearby, caught me with a rope of sand, and I regained my altitude. He was mostly just letting me handle this one, recognizing I needed to reconnect with my mom. I came back strong, drawing in a wind to me, using it to lift me. And then I streaked towards her, and we clashed swords with a resounding _cling_ that sung through the air with a crystal clear note.

"You know, of course, that he's using me and everyone else here as a distraction." Mom pointed out as we came into close combat, our swords clashing lightning fast and wind whipping around us faster and faster.

I spun and cut at her leg, which she was able to counter, but missed the elbow I sent at her. "Yeah, I realized that. Any idea what he's cooking up?"

She countered by smacking me on the head with the butt of her sword, and I dropped to sweep her legs and wind puff out from beneath her with an air charged kick. "No idea. But it's not going to be good, I can tell you that." She huffed as she tumbled a few feet and then caught herself.

"No surprise there." I sighed and dodged Kamikaze's ribbon sent towards my neck.

"You should probably seal me as soon as possible. Even though I wish I could stay, the longer I'm here, the less time you have to prepare." Mom said, landing a punch to my cheek.

I winced and flew back. "But there's so much I want to tell you!" I protested, even though I knew the truth of her words.

"I know Sweetheart. There's so much I want to tell you as well. But our time is short." She sighed, and sent a wave of wind at me with a slash of her sword.

I countered with a blast of wind equal to hers and they canceled out. "I just wish we had more time."

"Me too. Just tell me this, do you have a good life? Friends? Love? Are you happy?" She asked, almost desperately as she sent a tornado my way.

I gasped and dodged, then sliced the backside of the powerful cyclone with Kamikaze, charging up the blade with a gust of wind that severed the cyclone and stopped it before it hit Gaara. Then I turned back to her to answer her question. "Yes. I have a good life now. I have a family, brothers, Gaara. I am loved, and I love them very much. I am very happy. I'd be happier if the idiot who started this war would just give up though."

Mom laughed. "Yes, I agree. You'll just have to _**convince**_ him the error of his ways, and I have no doubt you can."

I smiled.

"I love you Sweetheart, always." She said softly, her eyes glistening with tears.

"I love you too, Mom." I whispered tearfully.

She smiled tenderly and said, "Whenever you need me, my chakra is stored in your sword."

And with that she rose high into the air. I swallowed thickly, pretty sure that I knew what she was about to do. Sure enough, once she had become almost a dot in the sky, she dropped like a stone. I cringed, almost unable to watch as she fell to the earth and hit the ground with enough force that her reanimated body burst apart into a million bits of paper. The sealing squad rushed to seal her away, and easily succeeded since she had been scattered literally to the winds.

I held myself together, though tears once again ran down my face. Gaara glided up silently behind me and I sat down on his sand platform and leaned against his legs, taking a short break to sob a little and rub my eyes pathetically. He knelt behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, using the relative privacy of the height we were floating at to embrace me and comfort me the way he wanted to. After a few moments, I pulled myself together, hiccupping and wiping the tears from my eyes. _We're in the middle of a war dammit, there's no time for tears._ We slowly floated back down to the ground, as the last of the strange wave of reanimated persons were sealed. All that was left was to wait for the enemy's next move.

 **Chapter 64**

We waited for a while, and then Gaara and I sensed something coming, something big. Up on one of the rocks the enemy appeared, the Tsuchikage, who I thought we had defeated yesterday, and a new guy in red armor and long black spiky hair.

Lord Onoki, our cranky, old Tsuchikage gasped, and then groaned. "Madera Uchiha."

"Wait, that's Madara Uchiha?" I asked, confused.

"Unmistakably, yes."

I stared, pinned in place for a moment by Madara's immense chakra. It was off the charts and almost overwhelmed my sensory jutsu, so I quickly retracted my chakra net, unable to handle it. At my pained gasp Gaara's eyes darted to me, alarmed. I swiftly opened our mental connection. _This guy is…unbelievable. His chakra is so intense it hurts…physically hurts to feel it with my sensory jutsu! I think he might just be powerful enough to wipe out our entire army._

Gaara's eyes widened and he looked back to the enemy. He optimistically attempted to take them out with some sand, but on an opponent of this level, it was useless. We threw everything we had into the battle, but as soon as he came down off that rock, there was chaos. He careened through our troops like they were nothing but rag dolls. Temari was finally able to stop his rampage, but her massive wind gust hadn't injured him at all, maybe just got a little dust on him.

He dusted himself off, and stood there like a big powerful, smug, pompous bastard. _Damn him._ I snarled, Gaara tensed, and we both knew we were in deep shit.

There was another guy, the Tsuchikage, with Madara, but we weren't particularly worried about him at the moment, since he was just standing up there watching the proceedings. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…" I muttered in a litany as I took a battle stance, Mau popping into being on my head.

"You called, Meow?"

"Oh yeah, I called all right, this is gonna be rough, fasten on your seatbelt Mau." I huffed.

Her claws came out and dug into the leather strap of my armor over my shoulder.

I nodded at Gaara and we entered the fray, right as Madara launched a massive fireball at everyone. Thankfully we had a lot of water style users in our company, and they were able to neutralize the blast with a wall of water. Unfortunately that made a whole bunch of steam, and suddenly no one could see anything, and fireballs started raining down through the mist. No-one could see them before they were right on top of you, so people started falling left and right.

"Oh hell to the no." I growled, not about to have that, and Kitty responded, growling in my mind and sending chakra through me. Our wings sprouted, perhaps a little too fast and pain shot through my back from where the skin tore more than usual. Mau wiggled her tail down into my shirt, laying it along my spine, and the pain faded. I sighed, and nuzzled the side of my face into her soft fur and she purred.

With the release of my wings, I sheathed them in wind scales and sent a blast of wind out, knocking away the mist and sending the latest barrage of fireballs flying.

As soon as the fog cleared, and Madara started up with his demonic Taijutsu again, Gaara sent his sand in, corralling Madara with the help of Lord Onoki, and Naruto. While they kept him busy, I summoned my fastest cat. "Tell the Information Core to send an urgent message for backup. We have Madara Uchiha over here, and he's kicking our butts."

She nodded and darted off to the man I had pointed at, a good ways away and staying off the field. As soon as that was taken care of, I turned back to the battle, right as Madara activated a giant Susanoo. I recognized it from the one I had seen Sasuke do, but this was a fully formed giant in armor, no silly half-baked skeleton, and it was big.

I took to the sky with my wings, setting up a huge wind shield to counter the giant sword that was coming down on the troops. As it landed on my shield I felt the heavy blow and lost a good amount of altitude, but held it in place through sheer determination. That fucker was no joke.

While he was distracted with me, Gaara snuck some sand up and inside the thing, wrapped it around Madara's foot, and pulled him out, slinging him out right as Naruto popped out of no-where with a Rasenshuriken. The Susanoo and it's big-ass sword disappeared, thankfully, and Madara was sent flying. I activated my line with Gaara, and thought to him, _Yeah, I doubt that's gonna do it._

 _I know._ He thought back, feeling very stressed out indeed.

I kept our line open, and felt Kitty and Shukaku conversing quietly in the back of my mind, but ignored them. We managed to hold Madara at bay for a while, although I suspected he was just toying with us, taking out more and more of the army left and right, throwing fireballs, Taijutsu-ing everyone into the ground, and basically mopping the field with us all.

Everyone shouted in relief and excitement as we saw reinforcements running over the hill. They must have come from the nearest company, and I huffed a sigh of relief to see my brothers running towards me. It was good to know they were safe.

"Ren! We got the message! We're here to help!" They barked, skidding to a halt near me. I felt bolstered by their presence, and gave both of them a big hug, getting some protests from Mau, who was almost squished.

Along with my Hitachiin brothers, both my adoptive mother and father ran up, as well as my aunt. They were all very strong ninja, and so I felt a whole lot better about everything now.

"We all came Ren! the Hitachiin family helps their own!" My mother announced proudly.

I grinned at Lady Hitachiin, my adoptive mother. I didn't know my adoptive mother or father very well, or my aunt, but I knew they were good people, and I cared for them a great deal. My gratitude towards them for taking me into their family knew no bounds.

There was no time for a family reunion though, because shit was going down in a big way. The twins and I got into formation. "Okay guys, you know the drill. Family, the three of us are taking point, I don't know your talents but feel free to fit in wherever you see fit."

Mother Hitachiin said, "I'll take the back. I'm good at barriers, so I can be in charge of shields."

Father Hitachiin said, "I have healing ninjutsu, I'll stay in the middle and heal anyone who is injured."

Aunt Hitachiin said, "And I have offensive jutsu and genjutsu, I'll back up whatever you three do."

The three of us nodded. Hikaru flipped his rods and his whips came out, Kaoru drew his bow, and I drew my short swords.

 _I have a team ready. We're going in. We're gonna take out the guy just standing up there._ I thought to Gaara.

He responded. _Be careful. We'll back you up._

 _Oh yeah. Super careful. No worries there._ I reassured him and then thought to Kitty next. _Kitty, you ready?_

 _ **Always Kitten.**_

 _Here we go._

I felt a surge of her chakra through my network, and felt the shock of pain go down my spine as my tail came out.

"I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to that." Hikaru laughed.

"I dunno, it's kinda cute." Kaoru said teasingly and gently gave my tail a tug.

"Hey, hey, hands off the tail." I barked, amused, and swished my tail from side to side, gently smacking Kaoru's hand.

They chuckled, and I heard the family behind us laughing fondly at our shenanigans, and then we all got serious. We rushed forwards, Kaoru started up a genjutsu, a long range one, and managed to catch bandage boy in a paralyzing blast of light. I flew up the rock tower and flipped around, smacking him off the top with a sturdy thwap from my tail. He fell down, trying to turn invisible, but Aunt Hitachiin sent out another jutsu, this one a genjutsu net that froze the victim's jutsu.

He popped back into sight as his jutsu was frozen. He broke out of it after a second, and Kaoru started barraging him with arrows while Hikaru wrapped him up with his whips. The only thing I could figure was that we had managed to catch him by surprise and maybe he was out of chakra.

We managed to seal him, thankfully Aunt Hitachiin had a sealing jutsu, and then we turned back to the main battle, which was picking up some steam. Madara leaped up on top of another rock, and Gaara, I, and the rest of the sensorial ninja on the battlefield winced as he released a huge blast of chakra. _He's doing something…!_

 _Big. I know._ Gaara snarled mentally.

Mau screeched and my head jerked up, never having heard that sort of sound come from her before. "Oh. My. God." I muttered weakly and everyone went limp with despair as the sun was blotted out by a huge meteor headed straight for us.

There was a long moment of dumbfound, ' _what the hell do we do now_ ,' and then Onoki revved up and flew up to the giant boulder. I watched, my mouth hanging open, as he managed to slow the thing down, probably using his Mass Lightening Jutsu, and then Gaara's sand came up, a huge mass of it, streaked in blue, and through my connection I felt Shukaku's chakra surging through Gaara.

 _ **I got it, I got it, I got it. Damn it's heavy though.**_ I heard Shukaku howling, and naturally complaining too.

We all breathed a sigh of relief when it stopped. Until Madara laughed and called down to us, "Marvelous! Now what are you going to do about the second one?"

"Huh?" Everyone seemed to say at once and then we realized what he meant when a second giant meteor came hurtling out of the sky, right on top of the other one. "Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me." I groaned.

The only thing I could do in the time I had, which was a split second, was to put up a huge wind barrier, the largest I could muster. Mother Hitachiin likewise put up a shield, hers glowing bright blue. Mau shrieked, standing strait up on my shoulder and howling into the sky, nearly breaking my eardrum it was so loud, and a shimmery purple shield popped into being above the blue shield. And then, for good measure, I felt Kitty surge within me, and a massive gust of wind burst out of me, settling on top of it all.

And then the world came down on top of us, the second meteor hit the first, and they both cracked. The first one shattered, sending huge pieces of rock raining down on us all. A massive chunk the size of a building landed on our shield, and through the dust that was kicked up, we could now see the immense form of Kitty hovering over us, wings spread, her body made up entirely of wind, and a disembodied roar came out of the massive wind clone as she took the full brunt of the giant rock. We watched in awe as she reared up on her hind legs, toppling the rock on her back off and to the side of us before she disappeared with a huge explosion of wind that knocked another rock heading towards us off course. Kitty retreated in my mind, recovering her strength and building her chakra back up, knowing we would need it again soon.

The next massive chunk hit Mau's shield, and the purple shield caved a bit and then bounced the rock off as Mau stood up on my shoulder again, growling up at it. Her shield held firm until the next blow, when it shattered. We were down to two shields now, and there were plenty more rocks coming. The largest piece yet fell right on top of us, as the largest chucks of the two meteors finally fell to the ground. The blue shield held for a while but eventually shattered, and I grunted, feeling the massive weight land on my shield. Father Hitachiin put his hands on my shoulders and started pumping chakra into me, bolstering my shield. With his help I was able to hold it firm, and we stayed that way for a good few minutes until we stopped hearing the sound of crashing thunder and rocks falling to the ground and the earth beneath out feet stopped shaking.

I could feel Gaara and Shukaku were still plenty alive, very tired, but alive.

"Alright guys, help me get this big hunk of rock off us." I groaned, holding it still but unable to do more than that.

"Right!"

They all fired up their chakra and launched jutsu at the rock, Kaoru charged up one of his special exploding arrows, notching it and letting it fly, hitting dead center and exploding. The rock cracked under the impact, and Hikaru sent both whips in to bite at the spot where Kaoru's arrow had landed. Aunt Hitachiin put her hands together and formed the hand signs for a fire style attack. She sent a huge ball of red-hot fire right at the spot it had cracked and it finally broke into pieces, landing around us.

We all collapse, gasping and huffing and puffing and trying to catch our breath. The field around us was a disaster zone, rocks everywhere, bodies everywhere, death and destruction as far as the eye could see. I grimaced, a surge of fury, terror, disgust, and despair rushing through me.

After a moment, we all managed to peel ourselves off the ground and walked through all the destruction. I made my way to Gaara, following my senses to where I could feel his chakra and met up with him behind a huge piece of the meteor.

Thankfully Temari was with him. A few other scattered survivors straggled towards us and we all gathered together. Father Hitachiin saw to everyone's wounds, starting with the Tsuchikage, and we huddled together, trying to figure out what to do. I traded a look with Gaara, both of us grateful that the other had survived that last attack, but afraid that the next would get us.

At that point the dust had settled and apparently Madara's reanimated body had reformed, because we all heard him laughing and saying something about us still being able to dance. I didn't feel much like dancing at the moment, but I refrained from correcting him. He was obviously still able to do whatever dance he wanted to because he proceeded to launch another fantastic attack, this one a huge wood style forest. Large vines erupted and slithered down on top of us, creating a massive forest of wood and vines all around us.

And they were deadly, the ends were sharp and should spear you right through, or wrap around you and squish you to death. We all started up with some pretty fancy evasive maneuvers, leaping from vine to vine and avoiding them as much as possible as they grew and spread. I heard screams as a few unlucky souls got caught by the evil vegetation, and then I heard a cry that had my blood running cold.

I heard both of my brothers shout out and immediately went towards their voices, dodging and twisting as I skidded through the vines. The scene I arrived on was strait out of my worst nightmare. Father Hitachiin was speared through the chest with a thick vine, and my brothers were hovering over him, trying to fight back the vines as Mother Hitachiin and her sister wept. Mother Hitachiin was holding his head, whispering to him as he died, and my eyes filled with tears.

 _ **I am so sorry Kitten.**_

Mau rubbed her head against my cheek.

But I couldn't let myself get too emotional, because a whole group of vines were coming this way, and my brothers had gotten distracted my their mother's mournful cry as Father Hitachiin slumped, his last breath leaving him. We were about to have a massacre.

I drew Kamikaze from my back as I darted forward, and all my emotions, the sorrow from the death of my adoptive father, the fear as I watched the vines approach my brothers unprotected backs, and the fury at Madara, all surged through me and my chakra charged through my blade, more fiercely than ever before. I could feel all the chakra from all my ancestors within the blade answer my chakra. In particular, I could feel my mother's wake up and surge through me, filling me with warmth and love as I felt her spirit rising within me. I could feel the wind almost pick me up and lift me, as I flew towards my family.

I reached them just in time, skidding to a halt in front of the four of them as they all gasped and looked towards the huge knot of sharp vines headed our way. I felt chakra surging through me, chakra that was not mine, but felt similar to mine, as my blood family rose within the blade to help me protect my new family. Driven by knowledge that was sent from the blade into me, I released the handle and gripped the red ribbon tail instead, and used it to swing Kamikaze in a circle in front of me, like a really big sharp fan. As I did so, the wind picked up and then funneled strait through her, creating an enormous, powerful cyclone that shredded the incoming vines, and most of the vines in front of us.

Apparently the vines didn't like that, because suddenly there were vines everywhere, coming from every direction to fill the gap I had created. I gasped, unable to hold them all back, and then ducked, regrabbing the hilt of my sword as a vine almost took my head off. Another one smacked into my stomach, knocking my air out and bringing me to my knees. I could hear the sounds of desperate battle behind me as my brothers, mother, and aunt attempted to beat back the vines.

I regained my breath and ability to stand, right as a vine wrapped around my neck, choking my newly available air supply off. It also wrapped around Mau, immobilizing her and I heard her squeak in distress. I wheezed, clinging to Kamikaze desperately and grabbed the vine with my other hand as I was lifted into the air. I fuzzily felt chakra surge through me from the blade in my hand, my mother's chakra, and suddenly I could feel her presence with me, I dropped my blade and my hands moved in a hand sign I did not recognize as I choked out with my last available breath, "Ultimate…Tornado…Jutsu…Shield."

A sound came from above, a sound I recognized but had only heard in my dreams, the immense sound of a massive funnel of air being dropped down on top of us. The sound made the ground shake, and only got louder as the air began to writhe around us, kicked into a frenzy by what was coming. I looked up, as best I could, and watched in awe as a massive cyclone descended. The mouth opened wide, and suddenly it touched down, and we found ourselves surrounded by a wall of violently spinning air, going up into the sky. All the vines that had been coming at us were chopped to bits and I collapsed to the ground, nearly landing on my sword as the vine that held me was chopped off. It was still tightly wrapped around my neck though, and I reached for my short sword and cut off the vine, perhaps a tad roughly. I gasped in air as my throat reopened and sat there choking and wheezing on the ground.

Kaoru and Hikaru rushed over, concerned, and patted me on the back, rubbing my shoulders and generally being sympathetic. I reached up and patted Mau. "You doing okay?"

"Yes. Meow." She sniffed, sounding offended.

I sat up and looked around in awe at the wall of air still wrapping us in a protective cocoon. "Thanks mom…" I whispered as I felt my mother's chakra slowly slipping away, back into Kamikaze, which I picked up and sheathed on my back.

A few minutes later the cyclone slowly lumbered back up into the sky and revealed a perfect circle of destruction around us. It appeared the vines had stopped moving, so we stood and walked away, the others following me as I hunted down Gaara, following his chakra signature. We were forced to leave the body of my adoptive father behind as we rejoined the others.

Gaara took one look at the tears on my brother's faces and the tears in mine and his face grew grave. _What happened?_

 _My adoptive father died._

His eyes tightened. _I am…sorry._

 _Me too. Let's just kill this guy and be done with it._ I thought tightly, not wanting to think too much about it right now. I couldn't afford to lose myself in sadness.

He nodded.

At that moment the other three Kage popped into being from no-where and once everyone got over the shock, we all cheered. Now we stood a chance. As Lady Tsunade finished Healing Onoki, the Raikage, the Mizukage, and Gaara all attacked, distracting Madara. But no matter what they did, they couldn't seem to dent him. And then big stinky blossoms popped open all along the vines, and everyone got super sleepy, which was really bad since Madara set the forest on fire.

I groaned as I sunk to my knees next to Gaara and the rest of the Kage fell around me. I whispered to Mau that she'd better leave as I heard her cough in that strange way cats had, as the smoke began to filter down through the vines, surrounding us. She rumbled and I felt her claws dig even deeper into my leather straps as she hunkered down on my shoulder.

I gasped, wheezing, and then collapsed onto my front, unable to hold myself up any longer. I felt Mau move from my shoulder to my back. I lay there, on the ground, unable to move, as I heard the crackle of fire growing louder and felt the heat from the flames approaching. I only had the strength to turn my head, looking at Gaara next to me. I vaguely felt the sensation of Mau putting up a barrier around us to guard us from the fire.

I passed out, and the next thing I knew, I woke as Gaara shook my shoulder urgently. We had been saved by Onoki's Particle Dismantling Jutsu that cut away all the vines near us, but it had been a close call. Once we were all back on our feet, we stood off against Madara once again. We continued fighting, and Lady Tsunade powered up, the little diamond on her forehead turning into a large, rather impressive tattoo.

She led the charge and we all attacked, doing our best to combine our jutsus to somehow trap him. But then he pulled out some clones, and those clones all popped Susanoo, and we were left doing some very rough battling. It became increasingly apparent that we were no match for him.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Sorry guys. I got swamped with getting ready for midterms; the first two are coming up next week, and didn't have the time to write. :( It's so sad. But here's the long awaited next chapter. I hope to get the next one out sooner. Only getting one chapter out a week sucks.


	81. Burn With Me: Chapter 65 & 66

I wheezed, Mau doing her best to reinflate my flattened chest, but it was taking a while. All of us were laid out on the ground, scattered all over the battlefield, some of us way more seriously injured than others. I was pretty sure I saw Lady Tsunade get cut in half by a giant pillar of vine. I knew Gaara and Shukaku were alive somewhere, based on the fait buzz in my head from our connection, and therefore, they were still also not passed out. But we were both in a good deal of pain right now. I could sense that Gaara had sustained heavy injuries, and as much as I wanted to go to him, I was currently incapable of doing so, given my own nearly fatal wounds.

The battle had gotten crazy there near the end, as Madara broke free from the reanimation jutsu. Well, even before that actually, when he had summoned a supermassive-ultimate-Susanoo thing that had wiped out a mountain. I was just glad mother Hitachiin, Aunt Hitachiin, and the twins had made it out safe. We had sent them to get some help before that, but unfortunately it was too late for help.

I groaned and coughed as Mau managed to pop another of my ribs back out from its flattened position inside my chest cavity and back into its proper place. That only left, well, most of them. He'd got me good with that hit, pretty much collapsing my ribcage entirely and smooshing my lungs flat. If it hadn't been for my breast wraps that held my ribcage mostly in shape, my lungs and heart probably would have been skewered by my own bones. As it was, Mau simply had to do whatever incredibly painful thing she was doing to unflatten them. It kind of felt like she was cutting me open and sticking her paws into my body to lift out each bone, move it back into place, and then seal it back where it was supposed to be with one of those painful hot bursts of feline healing chakra that hurt almost as much as breaking them to begin with. Over and over and over. I wasn't too sure how much more I could take of this, and I was doing my very best to not translate the pain over to Gaara, who I could feel had his own aches and pains to deal with. It felt like he had an arm and a leg crushed or something, probably pinned beneath something heavy, like lady Tsunade.

I carefully opened our communication line, trying to make sure none of the pain went through, but I was pretty sure I failed. _So…how are you?_

 _Not good. What the hell is going on over there? It feels like someone is torturing you._ Came Gaara's pained and anxious response.

 _Oh no, that would just be Mau, whose…erk-fffffng…._ I paused as she yanked another rib bone back into place and sealed it. _Shit that hurts._ I thought privately and then readdressed Gaara. _She's just, you know, uh, rearranging my ribcage back where it should be. It got a little, ehm, flat. Oh for the love of…_ I had to pause again, since Mau was on a roll and got another rib up and running with a surge of pain that had me spitting a few cuss words.

She ignored me and continued what she was doing, for which I was grateful, and also not so much.

 _She's doing WHAT?!_ Came Gaara's almost panicky, slightly furious response, and I winced as I got a blast of his pain along with the message. Ergh, felt like I wasn't the only one in agony.

 _Well, it would be nice to breath, so she's helping me out in that regard. Having your whole ribcage crushed actually makes breathing a little difficult. Who would've thunk it._ I yelped and fussed some more as another rib got popped back into place.

Kitty was snarling and spitting and hissing in my mind, not at all pleased either. I could faintly hear Shukaku laughing at her in the background, although it also sounded like he was fussing at Gaara too. _**Get this damn fucking heavy shit off us already!**_

 _Your ribcage got crushed? How are you still alive?_ Gaara thought to me, apparently ignoring Shukaku for the time-being.

 _Well, it feels like you got pretty squashed yourself. How are you doing?_ I thought back, wincing at the pain as Mau had to fish out a few small pieces of a rib lost in my chest cavity.

 _I'm…well, I've been better._ Gaara thought back, a tad sardonically.

 _Yeah I can imagine that. But seriously, what are your injuries? I told you mine after all._ I huffed, seriously concerned that he was going to die or something.

 _ONE of yours._ He corrected.

 _Okay, okay. If you really want to know, I have broken ribs, a dislocated arm I think, and I'm pretty sure my hip might also be broken, a few other broken bones here and there, and I think I might be missing a finger, not sure. So yeah, there ya go. No it's your turn. Are you going to survive or do I need to tell Mau to just go ahead and stop with the healing?_ I asked, not wanting to heal if he was going to die.

 _I'll survive. I think. I'm just a little…stuck._ Gaara grumbled mentally, and I could feel his frustration leak across.

 _Yeah, I can feel that. What got your arm and leg?_

 _A really big rock._ He said simply.

 _Ouch._

 _It's not fun, but I'll survive that. However…_ He hesitated and I grew very nervous.

 _What else…? Come on Gaara, I gave you the full run down. Now spill it._ I urged, really, really worried now.

 _Spill it, interesting way to say it. I do seem to be spilling. I have a branch of some sort stuck in my back._ He responded, almost mildly considering the fact he'd basically just told me that he got speared through. My heart jumped up into my throat and I felt a brief surge of terror paralyze me before I snapped into rescue mode.

 _Oh dear. I'm gonna tell Mau to hurry up. Maybe I'd better close off the communication line, so you don't feel it, cause it's gonna get nasty._

 _NO. Keep the line open, I want to know you're alive, even if it hurts._ He thought back, almost harshly.

 _Okay, I'll do my best to keep it to myself._

 _ **I'll buffer it with my chakra.**_ Kitty interjected, and I sighed, relieved.

 _Thanks Kitty._

 _ **Yeah, sure, but I'm not any happier about this than you are.**_ She grumbled, mightily displeased by the upcoming pain.

 _I know._ I sighed back, thoroughly not looking forward to it myself.

I winced. "Hey Mau, is there any way to speed this up? I think Gaara's bleeding out and we need to go help him."

"Okay, Meow. But it's going to hurt. A lot." She warned, pausing.

"I kind of figured that. Do what you have to do and don't pay my cussing you out any mind. I don't mean it."

"Alright. Meow."

Kitty charged up her chakra and plugged up the communication line so the agony didn't get through as Mau stopped with the little stuff and I very distinctly felt her slice me down the middle, careful to avoid cutting into the sealing jutsu on my chest. Yep, that's what I figured she'd do, instead of making the tiny little cuts she'd been making. I really hadn't wanted to think about the fact that her paws had been going inside me to rearrange my ribs, but now it was a little difficult to ignore as she put her paws and her entire forelegs into my body, rearranging bones left and right and sealing them with abrupt blasts of searing agony.

I screamed, and shouted, and choked, and cussed, and screamed some more, really disliking it, but knowing it would be over soon. It was growing pretty damn unbearable though.

Since Kitty was busy blocking the communication line, I was pretty sure Gaara could hear her nearly constant line of cusswords.

 _ **Mother of…Goddammit, fucking shit-balls. Ow, ow, ow, ow, tuna-crap-shoot. Fuck, fuck, fuck. YEOW, piss on the….fuzz-nut…crap. Crapcrapcrap…. Is she done yet? NO!? FUCK IT ALL! HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS GONNA GODDAM TAKE! FOR THE LOVE OF…..ALL…that's….OW…ow…I hate ribs….I HATE ribs….I hate you…I ….fuck it all. Can we just die? Isn't that a better option?! I really don't think this is a good….FUCK…idea…CRAP….OW….SHIT…**_

And so on. To be honest, it wasn't that far off from the foul litany pouring out of my own mouth. I knew that Gaara had heard when I overheard him mumbling something along the lines of _"Holy shit…"_ but I couldn't be sure through the haze of agony.

After a few minutes of mind-numbing pain it was finally over, right as it got to the point that I didn't think I could take it anymore. Mau pulled my skin back together and then her paw slid down the center of my chest leaving a line of fire behind to let me know she had sealed up that wound. One last scream and I collapsed, panting. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath, and then I heaved myself to my feet, or tried to, but my broken hip didn't let me and I collapsed back to the ground. Mau dug her deadly little claws into me, hooking them over the bone and giving a good yank to pop the part that had broken back into place before she sealed it and then sealed the wound she had made.

I groaned, cussed, shouted, and then stood, after catching my breath once again. As we walked she crawled over me, smacking me here and there with her paw to heal up a fracture, dislocation, or a broken bone, and I winced, hopped, stumbled, cussed, yelped, staggered, and generally fussed, but kept moving. I followed Gaara's weak chakra to a large boulder, a little ways away from where I had collapsed. Sure enough, his arm and leg were trapped under it and a sticky pool of blood was very slowly oozing out from under it and him.

I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to move it at first, until I felt the buzz in my mind and Shukaku's dark mental voice rang through my head. _**I'll lend you some of my chakra to move this hunk of junk. Gaara's not in the best position to do it right now. And it fucking hurts.**_

 _Thank you Shukaku._

I felt the incredibly strange sensation of his slightly evil sandy chakra transmitting over the connection and into me. I had no idea how to control the sand that rushed to my hands, but I did my best, which nearly swamped poor Gaara with sand. Shukaku took that as a que and thankfully decided to help, slipping across the connection himself now to form large sandy paws that the two of us used to push the boulder over and off Gaara. As the sand ran up over my arms it latched on and mammoth talons of sand streaked with discernable blue lines grew from me. I watched, wide eyed and a little in shock as I was able to actually manipulate them, clenching the enormous paws onto the boulder. Gaara watched, silent and wide-eyed beneath me, as I shoved the damn thing off him.

Shukaku and his chakra zipped back to Gaara, whose eyes shut once again, and I fell to my knees beside him, gasping for breath. He was in pretty bad shape, his arm and leg almost unrecognizable lumps of a bloody mess. Thankfully Mau was a miracle worker and she hopped onto him, dealing first with the bloody branch that seemed to have speared him all the way through, probably on his fall.

Gaara's eyes opened and he watched us through blurry eyes as I braced his chest, gritted my teeth, and forced myself to yank the stick out. He shouted and coughed up some blood, which made my insides cringe, and the shock of pain that zipped across the connection certainly didn't help. I winced and shakily dragged myself around his body, lifting his head and putting it in my lap. I wiped the blood off his lips with my trembling fingers.

"This is not gonna be fun, but Mau will fix you up I promise." I whispered, bending to kiss his forehead.

"Thank you Mau." Gaara wheezed.

"Oh, don't thank her just yet, you're gonna hate her for a few minutes, trust me."

"Wonderful, thank you for the warning." He mumbled.

And then, sure enough, he shouted as she worked on his chest, healing it with a bright flash that had both of us flinching as I felt the sear of pain come across our connection.

"Sorry," He wheezed, knowing I had felt that.

"No worries, I probably sent plenty your way a few moments ago."

And then she started on his arm and leg, which hurt a whole fucking lot as well. It was amazing to watch though, even if it was through tears, as the flesh knitted around his bloody mess of muscle and bone and reformed into what was supposed to be an arm. By the time she was done with it, it was definitely an arm again. She did the same with his leg.

After she was done, even she was exhausted and had to go rest, poofing out in a puff of blue smoke. I collapsed beside Gaara, just trying to recover from my own injuries and the healing of them as well. I would need to get a new shirt and breast band too, since Mau had sliced right through it. I dragged the bloody shreds of my breast band out from under the two sides of my shirt, using the shorter strips to tie around some of the more superficial wounds, cuts and abrasions that Mau hadn't healed.

Gaara reached up with one hand, the newly restored one, and gently felt of the front of my shirt, which was cut down the middle and soaked in my blood from Mau's little operation.

"What happened here?" He asked roughly, his voice all kinds of gravelly. Understandable given the amount of shouting and yelling and cussing he had just done.

"Well, that was from Mau healing my ribs. She cut my shirt off to get to my chest."

"But why is it drenched in blood?" He asked gruffly, pulling his hand away and looking at his freshly red fingers.

"Eh. I don't think you want to know." I mumbled, wincing a little.

"I just asked didn't I?" He huffed.

"Yeah, yeah. I'd really rather not acknowledge it happened." I groaned, not wanting to think about it.

"Please tell me."

I sighed in exasperation and defeat. "Okay fine. She had to…uh…sort of do surgery to get to my ribs and properly reposition them. She had to get her paw under them to lift them back up and into non-flattened position, and to get her paw under the rib, she had to cut me… a little…. here and there. I'm impressed she didn't leave any scars."

"Mau is amazing." Gaara sighed, apparently satisfied, and he rolled onto his side, pressing his face into my bloody stomach as he wrapped his arms around me.

And that was how the back-up team found us. We had both passed out by that point and were taken back to camp. All the Kage and all the survivors of the previous battle, retreated into the somewhat nearby camp, the healing tents full for a few days as the wounded were treated. The back-up was led by my brothers of course, and I woke to one of them tying my shirt closed, which wasn't a bad idea really.

"Oh, hey there, thanks." I mumbled, a little out of it.

"What the hell happened? Where's Madara?" Kaoru sputtered, looking around as Hikaru finished tying the knot to hold my shirt together.

"Oh who knows, probably off terrorizing another battalion."

"Sheesh, he got you good…" That was Temari.

"Huh? Oh it's not that bad." I mumbled.

"You got sliced open!" Kaoru protested as he and Hikaru draped my arms over their shoulders.

"No, not really. I just got smooshed really good. Mau actually was the one to cut me a little to help heal me. So really I'm pretty good considering." I staggered and my brothers took most of my weight. I may have no longer had any serious injuries, but it all took its toll and I was definitely feeling it now.

Gaara was similarly assisted by Temari and Matsuri, who had thankfully survived as well.

The other Kage were lifted up on stretchers and rushed off to the medical tents. Gaara and I were likewise forced to get all checked up, but we got a mostly clean bill of health, although they helped patch up some of the scratches and scrapes Mau hadn't gotten around to healing

My healer was thoroughly shocked by my injuries and the way they had healed, same with Gaara, and I explained that I had a creature that healed the two of us. They all seemed very intrigued by that, but the rest of the healers were much too busy healing all the other Kage to waste time on us. We retired to our tent and slept for a while, recovering from our injuries.

This war thing was rough.

 **Chapter 66**

After a day or two of recovery, all the Kage were back on their feet and we made our way to the front lines again, where apparently another guy had taken the spotlight away from Madara, resurrecting some huge monster-thing called the ten-tails.

 _Great. Wonderful! Just what this war needed, a big bloodthirsty monster-thing._

 _ **Where's your sense of adventure?**_ Kitty laughed in my mind teasingly.

 _Back with that pint of blood that Mau spilt while performing open chest surgery on the battlefield._ I thought sourly. I was completely ready for this war to be done. Kitty just huffed, silently agreeing with me.

We rode Gaara's sand to the front lines, speed being key at this point. I psyched myself up again, knowing we were going into another life-or-death situation. The rest of the troops followed on foot.

When we got there, it was way worse than I ever could have imagined. There was a huge tree-vine-thing that looked like it had speared a whole bunch of people, and it rose high into the sky with a bulbous flower bloom on top. It looked oddly phallic, and I had to wonder if the guy controlling it was trying to compensate for something.

We landed among the chaos, everyone seemed very downtrodden, defeated, and ready to just submit to the strange white guy holding a black staff and floating up near the trunk of the tree-thing. He looked kinda odd to be honest, especially with those black balls floating around his back, and I gazed up at him with some consternation. As everyone's Kages got there, the troops seemed to perk up and the Allied Shinobi Forces set out to topple the big tree-thing, which was apparently about to unleash some horrifying jutsu of some sort. That big Genjutsu that would trap everyone inside a dream world. _Yeah, no that ain't gonna happen, thanks._

We all set to destroying the tree with a good amount of enthusiasm. I popped out my wings and took to the air, drawing Kamikaze off my back and joining Gaara to help cut down the big supportive branches. He sliced through them with his sand and I sliced through them with my wind. We seemed to be making okay progress, and I could tell Naruto and Sasuke were doing okay on their end as well, as they fought the white guy. The problem was that it seemed like they weren't making very much headway against him. Apparently the enemy they were fighting was the ten-tail Jinchuriki, so he had all the tailed beasts inside of him, which would explain the enormous muddled chakra signature he was giving off.

 _When did Sasuke get into the picture anyways?_ I wondered, but didn't have time to ponder it too much, since we were racing the clock to get this thing cut down. As Naruto and Sasuke started drawing Pasty-Boy away, I felt the buzz of Gaara's mind and I opened my side of the connection as well.

 _I'm going to follow Naruto. I suspect he's going to try to pull out the other tailed beasts. From the way he was talking, he had all of their chakra except Shukaku's, so I need to help him._

 _Okay, I'll come with you._ I thought back, swerving and following him on wing as he sailed off to follow them on his sand. We got there right on time, as Naruto was indeed trying to pull out the chakra of the tailed beasts.

"Damn it! I don't have Shukaku! Or Eight-o!" He huffed, down below us in some sort of large crater. I'd bet anything that landmark hadn't been there a few moments ago.

"I have Shukaku!" Gaara called down to him. Octo-pops, as Naruto addressed the other Jinchuriki who showed up, grabbed onto his tailed beast as well.

I shrugged. Well, I did have Shukaku inside me more than once, so I supposed it wouldn't hurt for me to grab on as well. I sailed down and grabbed onto Shukaku, but I couldn't get a really good hold.

 _ **Need some help there, Lovely?**_ A familiar sandy voice inquired.

 _Oh. Shukaku. Yeah, that would be awesome._ I responded to the darkly amused thought sent my way.

 _ **Here I come!**_ And he slid across the line, just a little of him and his chakra, and he set up shop in my mind. With his chakra inside me I was able to latch onto his chakra inside the enemy and tug alongside Gaara. Kitty latched onto Shukaku's chakra too and lent her strength as well.

I beat my wings as hard as I could and Gaara strained, as we both pulled and pulled and pulled, until finally we got Shukaku out of there. He landed with a bang alongside all the other tailed beasts, and _sheesh_ , every time I saw him I was amazed by just how enormous he was. His massive sandy head swung in our direction and he sent us a wickedly pleased gaze with those dark eyes of his.

As the ten-tailed Jinchuriki collapsed and all the people below us surrounded him and did who-knows-what, I sailed on over to Shukaku. Gaara didn't seem overly happy about that, and I could feel his concern, but he didn't try to stop me. He didn't seem afraid of Shukaku, or like he distrusted Shukaku, but this Shukaku wasn't under Gaara's control, so he was understandably uncomfortable. Particularly given Shukaku's unhealthy interest in me.

"Hi there. You know, I always seem to forget how big you are." I said as I hovered near Shukaku's face.

He blinked his big black and gold eyes at me, which I had always found strangely beautiful and hypnotic, as he rumbled, "I always forget how tiny you are."

"Touché." I laughed.

"So have you guys done it yet?" This Shukaku asked, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Would you shut up, you big rude raccoon?" I huffed, glaring down at him.

He barked a laugh, his white fangs grinning up at me. "No!" He said quite simply, cocking his head.

I snorted and shook my head. "Now is not the time for ridiculous questions."

He shrugged, unrepentant.

"So do you want back in Gaara? Or are you just gonna hang out?" I asked, a bit curious.

He rumbled, looking thoughtful. " I'll stay out for now. I wanna fight dammit! Later, we'll see." He shrugged again, his blue symbolled pelt rippling in a fascinating manner.

"Okay, but if you do go back inside him, would you mind not making it so tough for him to sleep?" I put my hands on my hips and gave him a stern glare.

"If he sleeps, I take over." He said matter-of-factly.

"Okay, well, if you take over, would you mind not being a jackass about it so he doesn't worry about sleeping?" I restated.

"We'll talk about it. Maybe we can work out some sort of arrangement." He grinned, and I wasn't sure I liked the way he was looking at me.

"Huh, okay then."

I flew back to Gaara and we watched the proceedings below us with some confusion. Apparently, Naruto decided to go after Madara, and this Obito guy wasn't a threat anymore. We looked at each other, shrugged, and set off, but before we did, Gaara turned and addressed the tailed beasts to ask them for their help.

They all agreed, but made sure we knew it wasn't because of any sort of affection. They just wanted to get back at Madara. That was fine with us. We all wanted to get back at Madara at this point. So we all set off, and with all of the tailed beasts behind us, I was feeling pretty confidant.

As soon as we got within visibility of Madara, Gaara and Shukaku whipped together a massive wave of sand, one that had me really glad I was flying, because that was some big shit going down on the ground. The sand collapsed with a massive boom on Madara, swirling around and around, and forming a super-massive mausoleum, which Shukaku plopped his paws down onto. The blue sealing marks on his pelt began to writhe and crawl down his forearms, lines of the markings forming a diamond shape I distinctly recognized, since it was on my chest, and lines radiated out across the sides and up to the point of the giant pyramid.

It was pretty damn impressive. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be quite powerful enough to lock away Madara.

That big ugly Susanoo popped right out of the pyramid as though it was jelly instead of sand, and we all groaned, cussed, and made other various displeased vocalizations. Madara smacked all the tailed beasts down almost too easily and then summoned that big ugly statue thing.

"Oh shit!" I yelped as nine huge chains flew out of its mouth and latched onto all of their necks.

Madara turned to Gaara and gave him the evil eye, and I knew he knew that Gaara still had some of Shukaku's chakra inside of him. _Oh boy, this is bad, bad, bad._

 _ **Time for back-up!**_ Kitty barked, and I nodded, understanding what she meant.

 _Nekomata!_ I howled and formed the summoning jutsu. The big white tom cat popped into being below me.

He looked up with his scarred eyes and said, "What can I do you for today? Meow."

"Make sure Shukaku doesn't get dragged into that thing's mouth!" I yelped.

"Oh yeah, that wouldn't be any good. Meow." He turned to Shukaku, who was snarling and biting at the chain, sand billowing in sandy wisps around him in his aggravation. Nekomata walked over to the much larger sand spirit and yowled, "Hey, you! I'm gonna help you out, meow, but if you bite me, I'm gonna bite ya back, kapish?"

"Who the hell are you?" Shukaku snarled, obviously in a very bad mood, and I didn't blame him one bit as that chain tightened around his neck, nearly strangling him.

I tucked my wings and zoomed in close to his head and said, "He's with me! I asked him to help!"

"Oh, okay." He grunted, going back to biting on the chain.

Nekomata grabbed the chain with his paws and dug his heels in. Gaara grabbed onto the chain with his sand further down, closer to the mouth. The chain broke before the sand and then reattached afterwards, the tension pulling tight on Nekomata again.

"Watch out! The chain can break and reform to get around you!" I shouted out to all three of them.

"Saw that!" Gaara yelled back and redirected his sand to grab on again, right as the chain broke and reformed around Nekomata, giving him a pretty nasty whack to the head while it was at it.

Nekomata snarled, and grabbed back on. "Now it's personal bastard! Meow!" He yowled at Madara.

I knew there was no way they could hold it, we were all being dragged slowly to the mouth, and the only thing I could think of was to… _oh hell_.

 _Kitty?_

 _ **Afraid so Kitten.**_

 _Damn._ I heaved a sigh, face palming and groaning as I made my decision. _Okay, let's do this._

I sailed over to Gaara, unstrapped my gear and flew right up to him, saying, "No time to explain, but don't move, I'm gonna strap this over your gourd."

He stayed still, focused on his sand and reforming it every time that damn chain broke. I slung my gear over his gourd, strapping it down tight with the leather straps. And then for good measure I took off all my armor, not wanting it to get shredded again. Gaara gave me a seriously disturbed look over his shoulder.

"I know, I know. You'll understand. Just keep Kamikaze safe, even if you have to ditch the other stuff."

He nodded seriously.

"Hold him off for five minutes, okay?"

He nodded again, his attention turning back to the chain. I called over to Nekomata, "Hey, hold him for five minutes okay?"

"Oh hell yeah. Meow. I ain't letting this bastard get anything he wants. I'm pissed now."

"Good for you, that's what I wanted to here."

I flew down to the ground, behind Shukaku. "Just hang in there Shukaku, I'll be here to help, just give me a minute." I muttered.

I took a deep breath, bracing myself.

 _ **You ready?**_

 _No, but let's just get it over with okay?_

 _ **Okay Kitten, you can do it.**_

 _Yeah but it ain't gonna be fun._ I grimaced and hit the floor as Kitty's chakra flood my body. I'd almost forgotten how intensely painful this was. I groaned as the first tears and breaks in my body began to happen, the chakra blooding my veins and setting me on fire.

I shut off the communication line as Gaara shouted at me mentally, feeling the physical agony. I couldn't risk his getting distracted right now and I was about to become a really big distraction in the pain department.

"Tell Gaara I'm fine and to keep his head in the game would you?" I groaned to Shukaku, who had wrapped his big tail around me as a shield.

He nodded and I heard him calling to Gaara, sounding a little rude and bossy as usual, but I was a touched by the words. "Yo! **GAARA** , pay attention to the damn chain! I got Ren! She's fine, I'll keep her safe. You just focus on keeping that chain from choking the hell out of me!"

I heard a faint reply and Shukaku yelled something back. But I was much too focused on the transformation to really understand it anymore.

I collapsed fully onto hands and knees now as chakra and wind started leaking out of me at an alarming rate. Shukaku widened his tail shield, letting the wind push it back a ways. I groaned and cussed and hissed as my bones popped and broke and snapped and popped some more, my frame getting larger and larger and my skin tearing as I remembered it did. In the shelter of Shukaku's tail I'd managed to shed my clothes, so at least I would have something to wear afterwards this time. But that almost made it more appalling to watch as my eyes opened and I saw my skin wrinkling and tearing, great big rips opening up and blood beading to the surface, muscles twitching and writhing under my skin, bones randomly jabbing through my flesh here and there as I grew larger and larger and fucking larger.

Shukaku's head swiveled and he watched me with widening eyes as my form grew behind him. I couldn't hold back all the screams as everything got to be way too painful, and the screams became yowls and snarls. My teeth sharpened, my wings grew along with me, my tail zipped out and my spine seared with fire and agony that drew a particularly loud shriek from my feline throat. My claws split my fingers, which broke and folded back in on themselves.

I felt the prickly sensation of my pelt forming and groaned with relief, knowing it was almost over. And finally, finally, it stopped and everything clicked into place and popped and tore for the last time. A deep moan rumbled out of my chest and I sat, panting with my tongue out of my mouth, staring a bit blurrily at the back of Shukaku, who didn't look nearly so big now.

I blinked and stood, swiveling my ears forwards. I padded around him, amazed. "Wow, I'm almost the same size as you."

He blinked, and then purred and his head came forwards to head-butt me gently as his rough tongue came out to lick my nose. I wrinkled it up, which felt weird because of my whiskers.

I padded out to the front, nearly running into Gaara with my big head. I ducked under him and heard him gasp as he saw this huge creature, and I knew he probably had no idea it was me.

"What the hell…?" I heard him mutter. I opened up our communication line and turned my head to give him a cat-grin over my wing and saw his jaw drop and his eyes pop open wide.

I turned to the statue and glared. That statue was going down. I felt the hair rising on my back and the very strange sensation of my tail opening up as a deep cat-growl boiled in my chest. I felt lightning gathering on the spikes coming from my back now and the sparks zipped around through the air in a decent radius around me.

Nekomata saw me and immediately his head bowed, and then he lifted his muzzle and yowled to the skies, almost a war cry. Suddenly, hundreds of cats were popping into being, big cats, small cats, and Mau who ran up my leg and perched on my head, purring like a little motor boat.

I turned to look at them all, the hundreds of glowing cat-eyes like lamps trained on me, what seemed to be the whole entire cat village, and I just simply said, "Don't get killed."

They all nodded and then turned to face the enemy. A collectively enormous, terrifying sound came from all their throats, composed of hundreds of different cat-growls, snarls, yowls, hisses, and roars. I added a massive roar that called the wind to me, and my silver scaled wings were sheathed in scaled armor of glittering wind. I added the scales all the way down to my tail, equipping my body as well as a form of defense. I took off, the backdraft almost sending Gaara sailing. I beat my wings and sent an enormous blast of wind towards the statue, which tilted it, and sent Madara flying.

He got up, unhurt of course, and piss angry mad. He sent another chain out, and the barb bounced off my armor. I grinned ferally at his slightly confused expression. "I'm not a tailed beast, remember dumbass? That shit doesn't work on me."

He frowned and looked rather impressed now actually. "Very well, a worthy adversary. We shall dance."

"What is it with you and dancing? Why don't you just quit the war and open up your own dance studio if you like it so much?" I snarled.

I lunged forwards as he formed his Susanoo. I was not aiming for him though, I was aiming for the statue, and I swung around, pivoting on my back paws, and sent the lightning tip of my tail into its face. It fell back, and the Susanoo swung it's sword down onto me. I smacked it away with an armored wing. I roared again, and this time I felt something weird and nasty tasting coming up my throat.

 _What the hell?_

 _ **Poison. I'm part dragon remember? I, we, can spit poison. That's how I was able to siphon the poison out of your veins. I'm immune to it.**_

 _Neato._

I let that foul taste rise up my throat and then followed what my new body was telling me to do, spraying it out of my mouth in the strangest, most disgusting tasting poisonous stream, which landed on the statue. The statue started to smoke.

Apparently that poison was also very acidic, because it started to eat right through the statue, which I quickly realized was actually some sort of strange tree creature when it started howling around the chains in its mouth and its multiple eyes popped open. I winced and then grinned. This could work. If that damn Susanoo would just stop whacking at me with its sword. This time the blade caught me in the side, sending me spinning. I couldn't catch myself and landed rather roughly, uncomfortably pinning one of my wings beneath me. I shook it off though, since the blade hadn't cut me thanks to the wind armor.

Part of the problem was that I knew those chains were siphoning off bits and pieces of the tailed beasts chakra, so I needed to stop the damn thing, whatever it was. A wave of the cats ran to the statue-turned-alive-thing, avoiding my poison, but otherwise ripping into it with claws and teeth. That seemed to distract it enough that it momentarily paused in pulling in the chains.

I let them at it, hearing some of them poofing out to go back to the village as some of the smaller ones ran out of chakra. Meanwhile, I dodged another swing of the Susanoo sword and then charged up my tail and blasted him with enough voltage to knock him out of his armor. The Susanoo just reformed around him and I growled, seriously sick and tired of this guy. What the crap was it gonna take to kill him? Or rather, to kill him again! He was already dead after all, but I really wanted him deader. Dead enough that he would stop trying to take over the world.

He sent a charged sword swing at me, the blast of chakra forcing me to dig my claws into the ground as I slid back, leaving deep trenches as I clawed the earth to keep me in place. _All right, that's enough of that_.

 _ **Altitude! Hit him from above!**_ Kitty snarled, her instincts surging through me and already telling me what to do.

As soon as the wave of chakra trickled out I flapped my wings and took off, flying high into the air and then twisting and tucking my paws in tight to do a head dive as I brought in my wings snug against me. I could feel my momentum mounting and flattened my ears against the shriek of air. I flared my wings at the last second to break my fall, putting my paws out, claws fully unsheathed. I landed on Madara with a crash that had that statue-creature thing almost falling over, one of its knees breaching the surface of the ground. The Susanoo popped and I pinned him beneath a paw.

Which was not a good idea, I quickly realized as he found a previously hidden blade and shoved it, and his arm, up through my paw, which hurt like a mother-of-something-bad. I howled, but then just gritted my fangs and snarled down at him as he did his best to dissect my toes. It was not pleasant. At all.

 _ **Bastard! Get him Ren! Kill him! Bite him! Spit poison at him! Do something!**_ Kitty shrieked inside my head, incensed,

 _On it._ I huffed, already building up the nasty tasting stuff in my mouth.

I spat poison at his head, but he somehow managed to move his head from side to side to avoid the drops, the smug bastard. His arm retreated back through my paw, and I was contemplating just how much I wanted to kill him, and whether I would be able to stomach biting his head off, when it turned out he had enough room to make a hand sign within the space between my toe pads.

He blew a fire ball up into my face. This was no dinky little fireball to be shook off, this was the kind of thing that he had sent rolling across the battle field and that had taken out hundreds of soldiers. It was enough that my wind armor was taxed to the limit and finally broke, forcing me to rear up on my hand paws and get my face out of the fire. My eyes hurt, and I had the nasty feeling that I wouldn't be seeing anything very clearly for a while, and I could feel that my whiskers had been burned off, along with most of the fur on my face. The stench of burning hair and skin was very unpleasant.

I yowled and rubbed my face with my paws to put out the fires still singing my fur. My paws came away from my muzzle disturbingly sticky and the coppery scent of blood filled my sensitive, and now very pained, nose. I faintly heard Gaara both in my head and in my ears, yelling my name, and sounding pretty panicked. No wonder, I mean my head had been on fire.

I sneezed, which hurt my burned nose. _Youch._ Thankfully though, Mau had escaped and wasn't injured at all, and I felt her land on my nose and start with her special brand of healing, which had me yowling and cussing as the pain from her healing me hurt almost more than the burn, since it was all at once and more of a shock to the senses. I felt my fur growing back, that weird prickly sensation, and my vision cleared.

She hopped back up onto my head.

 _I'm okay, just a little singed, that's all._ I soothed Gaara, who was still panicking.

 _Don't do that again!_ He barked, all bossy as usual.

 _Roger that._

I whirled around and spat poison at Madara. This time apparently I had surprised him, because it landed on his armor, which he quickly began peeling off. While he was distracted by disrobing, in a humorous fashion that would have had me in a fit of laughter if it had been any other situation, I bounded back over to the statue thing. Many of the cats had poofed, but the bigger armored cats were still there, the ones as big as a person and some that were even bigger than that. Even a handful were around the size of Nekomata.

The biggest cats were scattered throughout the tailed beasts, fighting the chains, while the smaller ones swarmed the statue-tree-creature-thing. I landed beside Naruto, who was in fox-form, floating in the head of Kurama.

"Hey Naruto, we need a big explosion or something to knock all these chains off, and then all the tailed beasts need to make a break for it. I can sense that they're all getting dangerously low in chakra. It's like a parasite, it'll drain them dry even before sucking them in at this rate."

He took one look at me, looked me up and down, and his eyes popped open big and wide. "Man, Ren, I saw you fighting over there, but sheesh! You're huge!"

"You've seen me like this before you know. Now focus Naruto."

"Okay, yeah, sure, right. So, big explosion. How about a tailed beast bomb?" He quickly refocused.

"That should do it. Maybe all the tailed beasts could contribute."

I heard a variety of affirmative sounds from all the tailed beasts, and I stood back a little ways as they all opened their mouths and big blobs of red and blue chakra started coalescing. Gaara floated over to me, near my head.

"Hey Gaara, you are _not_ going to want to be on your sand for this one, trust me. You'll be blown out of the battlefield."

He nodded and I was shocked when he stepped off his sand and onto my back. I swiveled my head around to look at him, standing between my wing joints, and I grinned.

"This is very odd." He noted, looking back up at me.

I snorted and the air made him almost lose his balance. Which only made me snort again, but I made sure not to hit him with the puff of air this time.

"Alright, brace yourself." I hunched down, building up a mixture of acid, wind, and chakra in my mouth, in my own version of a bomb. We all fired at once, and the cats got out of the way at my signal. The bombs hit the statue, right where all the chains connected, and an enormous explosion went off. The chains all came lose at once, and with the ricochet of power from the explosion everyone was sent flying back.

As soon as he was released, the nine-tail fox retreated back into Naruto, who flew through the air and landed with a sickening crunch, hitting a good sized bolder. I was also sent flying back, and being very aware of Gaara being on my back, within a split second I closed my tail, grabbed him around his middle, and brought him to my chest where I wrapped my forelegs around him, careful not to crush his smaller form. Right before we hit I wrapped my wings around the both of us, huddling into a ball as we met the ground and went skidding, rolling, and tumbling across rocks and rough terrain. Kitty was cussing and making a ruckus inside my head, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it.

I winced and squeaked at the first impact, feeling a good sized sharp rack get imbedded into my shoulder joint, right above my wing where Gaara had been standing, and then another got me in the hip. But after that, I felt Gaara's sand catch up with our momentum, finally able to regroup after the explosion, and it wrapped me in a cocoon as we skidded into a pile of sand.

I unstuck my claws from where they had subconsciously dug into my chest from the tension of holding Gaara protectively but not crushing him. My forelegs and wings unfolded and Gaara tumbled to the ground gently, landing on his feet.

At that point I yelled, "You tailed beasts, get out of here! Run as far as you can! We can't risk him getting any more of your chakra!"

They took me to heart and they all flew and ran off swiftly, thankfully getting out of range of the statue-tree-thing, which was still alive to my surprise. That thing could take a beating and keep on ticking. Just like it's master. Unfortunately I could sense just how weak all the tailed beasts were, which meant that thing had managed to siphon off at least half of all their chakra, if not more. Apparently, that was enough for Madara, because he quickly seemed to be doing some sort of jutsu, probably doing the ten-tail thing all over again. I guessed he felt like speed was more important than getting all the tailed beasts chakra for the time being.

So he was occupied, thankfully, and that kept him off of us for a few brief moments. I groaned, tried to stand, and only managed to get to three paws. I was very wobbly and one wing dragged on the ground because of that stupid rock lodged surprisingly deeply in my muscle behind my shoulder blade. And I could feel that one of my hind legs was ready to give out on me at any moment because of that rock that I had landed on with my hip. That thigh was shaking pretty badly, and if it went, there was no way I was staying on my feet. I felt Mau race down my neck and take a look at the rock. It was bigger than her, the part of it that was sticking out, and there was a lot more inside. There was no way she could get this one out. I heard a small distressed sounding mew come from her throat as she valiantly tried though.

Thankfully she wasn't the only one there though, Shukaku had stayed behind. Out of all the tailed beasts, he had risked being sucked into that statue thing to stay with me apparently.

"What's wrong Ren?" Gaara asked, standing on my paw and looking up at me with concern.

I turned to look at my shoulder, wincing at the rather gruesome looking wound. There was no way I could get my head around to pull it out with my teeth. "I have a rock wedged in my shoulder. I don't think I can stand with it there."

Madara apparently decided to try a last ditch effort to at least get the rest of Shukaku's chakra, and a chain came whizzing over my head to try to wrap around his neck again. He wasn't having any of that though, and he ducked the chain, smacking it to the ground with his tail, where he neatly tied it with sand. Then a humongous wall of sand rose in front of us, as he snarled loudly and slammed his paws down to the ground.

The cats who hadn't puffed back to the village ran around the shield, and I promptly sent some of them over to check on Naruto, asking, "Do any of you have healing abilities?" The few that raised their paws I sent, along with a few of the bigger ones to move him to safety.

They hustled off, leaving about ten or twenty cats with us. All were larger than Gaara, and three were almost as big as Nekomata, who was also there.

Shukaku mostly ignored them, only deigning to give them all a slanty-eyed look out of one dark eye. I teetered on my paws, my chakra a bit low from all the fighting, and I felt a very unpleasant cramping sort of pop in my hip and sat abruptly as my back leg went out on me. Shukaku was standing behind me, the tan fur along his neck and back all ruffled and rising up as he snarled at the sand barrier. It appeared to be holding up rather well.

"You need to get out of here Shukaku, at least out of the range of those chains." I panted, my injured leg tucked up under me and my wing pretty much useless.

Gaara was gliding on his sand again, and hovered over my shoulder as he looked down on my wound. I could feel his fear and horror as he saw it. "Oh come on, it's not that bad." I huffed, looking over my shoulder at him.

"Hm." He simply grunted his Gaara sound.

"Sure. Good idea. But you're coming with me." Shukaku said mildly, and I glanced at him.

All I was able to get out was a, "Huh?" before his jaw closed on the back of my neck. I yelped as his teeth clamped down on the ruff of my neck, in a somewhat unpleasant manner. He stood and started scooting backwards, dragging me along by the scruff of my neck. I winced but did my best to scoot along with him, using my good legs to scooch along the ground. The tugging hurt my wound, but I knew we had to get out of here, and apparently this was how we were going to do it.

Gaara watched in shock as his beast did his best to drag me to safety, and after he got over his shock, he slid some sand under me, lifting me and making it easier for Shukaku to pull me along. Between the two of them we were soon a pretty good ways away from the tree thing. The cats came along with us, scampering along beside me.

Shukaku finally set me down, and I huffed, collapsing into the sand. That hadn't exactly been fun, but I was still touched by Shukaku's show of affection. Or whatever that had been.

"Thanks." I sighed.

Gaara hovered over me and I felt him hop down off his sand to land on my side. He walked up to the sizable stone lodged in me. He knelt and I tilted my head to look back at him. I could feel myself loosing hold of this form, from a lack in chakra and Kitty said, _**We have to get that stone out. Now. If you take your form while it's in, we're both dead.**_

 _Yep. No shit._

"Hey guys, I don't know how much longer I can hold this form, and that rock's got to go, otherwise…well…"

"You die." Gaara said point blank.

"Pretty much."

He nodded and I felt his fingers gently probing around the rock. He wrapped the rock in sand and started carefully pulling it out. I hissed and did my best to stay still for it, but it was very difficult to do, making me dig my claws into the ground to hold myself in place. I also tried to close off the communication line with Gaara, but he forced it back open, apparently willing to go through some pain with me. I did my best to keep the pain from leaching over the connection, but I was sure he still got some of it, based on his tight expression.

The damn thing was big, and it seemed to take forever to get out, and as more and more of it surfaced Gaara began to look more and more disturbed. Finally though, the sharp tip slipped out and I groaned, going limp. The problem then though, was that my blood started flowing, turning the sand beneath me red dangerously quickly. Mau leaped in, putting her paws inside me and I felt the bottom of the wound closing.

At that point my form began to shift, and I gasped as my bones started popping out of place, my muscles unconnected writhed beneath my flesh again. Gaara yelped, a sound I had never heard him make before, as my skin crawled beneath his knees and a bone popped out next to him. He flinched back, looking at it wide eyed as it sank back beneath my skin.

I realized neither he or Shukaku had seen the whole transformation before, and I was slightly wary about their presence, not wanting them to have to see it since it was so disturbing.

"You might want to…avert…your eyes…this is gonna…get…ugly…" I managed to pant in between the whimpers that were escaping my tightly closed off throat.

They ignored me, and Mau used my shifting flesh to her advantage, taking my muscles that were wiggling around and using them to plug up the massive hole in my shoulder. She neatly knitted together all the torn tendons and muscles and tissues, having to chase them down since they were shifting around now, but finally she had everything where it was supposed to be, and all that was left was for my frame to shrink, my bones to break and rebreak, and rebreak again, my muscles to contract and spasm, my tendons to snap and coil back in on themselves, and everything else unpleasant about this experience.

As always, near the end, the pain had me screaming, but thankfully it was over fast enough, and soon I was lying under Gaara, his knees on either side of my naked waist as I panted and went limp on the blood soaked soggy sand. Even my wings and tail had retracted, and I was left looking utterly normal.

I could feel Gaara's shock through our connection, and he felt a little numb with it, although there was some horror mixed in. Mau curled up on my breasts as I rolled onto my back, and her soft fur was a comforting warm weight on my chest. She purred, the gentle sound actually relaxing my still spasming muscles, and the reverberation of the strong rumble strangely eased all of my aches.

"Sorry you had to see that," I croaked, feeling very self-conscious considering Gaara had probably just seen quite a bit of my body's inner workings, including the bones that had poked through my skin from time to time. I knew it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Never mind me, are you all right?" He asked anxiously, his palms landing on the ground on either side of me so he could lean close and look at me seriously.

"Oh yeah, just peachy." I groaned, and tried to sit up. He leaned back and gently put a hand on my shoulder, suggesting I lie back down with a little pressure, which was fine with me.

"You should recover, your muscles seem to still be in spasm." He said in that odd way he had of pointing out potentially awkward facts.

"Oh yeah." I sighed, lying back for a moment. "I suppose you're right. I wonder where my clothes went?" I wondered aloud, noting my nudity.

"Here." Shukaku rumbled and produced them from his tail where he had wrapped them in sand.

"Oh. Thanks. Never would have thought you'd want me to get dressed, you big pervert."

He gave me a wide toothy grin that still managed to be lude even on his raccoon face. "Yeah, you'd be right about that sweetheart."

I chuckled and slowly started putting on my clothes, Gaara moving off me and kneeling to the side of my body now. Mau hopped onto his head, and they both ignored each other's presence in an amusing display. Once I had dressed, we promptly hunted down Naruto to check on him. I was very concerned about his health at the moment, considering that very loud unpleasant sounding crunch his body had made when it had hit the boulder. When we reached him the med cats that I had sent were huddled around his unconscious form.

One turned at our footsteps and then ran over to me. "He should be fine, meow! We healed his injuries, and stabilized his chakra loss, but he hasn't woken up yet. He got very close to dying, meow."

"Thank you. So very much." I said sincerely and the med cat grinned.

We walked over to Naruto and sat next to his unconscious form, waiting. We could feel shit going down off on the battlefield somewhere, and knew Madara was up to his shenanigans, but right now, the important thing was to make sure Naruto was safe. I had a feeling he would be pivotal in winning this battle.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

And there it is folks! The next chapter! Woohoo! Again, so sorry it's taking me forever to get my chapters out right now. Real life gets busy and gets in the way. It sucks. But anyway…that's the way it is! Hope everyone enjoys this new chapter! :3

A huge thanks to Socrates-Symchych, my wonderful friend who I bounced ideas off of for the fight scene with the tailed-beasts and Madara. She's helped out a bunch on this and many other chapters. Just want'cha to know you're awesome! :D

 **"Cupcakes for everyone!"** The author exclaimed, throws sprinkles into the air and then poofs out to hang out with Mau.


	82. Burn With Me: Chapter 67

Strangely as we sat there beside Naruto, I could feel his chakra changing inside of him. I traded a concerned and confused glance with Gaara, since I knew he also could feel it with his sensory capabilities. Shukaku stood aside, keeping watch, and most of the cats had poofed, only leaving Nekomata and one of the med cats to monitor Naruto.

It took a little while, but eventually Naruto opened his brilliant blue eyes and sat up, the expression on his face saying that something big had just happened. He stood and we stood as well. He turned to us and grinned, giving us a thumbs up and said, "I've got it from here. You guys just rest for a bit and recover."

After that he leapt off, with a speed I hadn't known he was capable of. I could feel Sasuke's chakra spiking as well, somewhere in the direction Naruto had just run off to.

"Okaaaay. What the hell just happened?" I wondered aloud.

Gaara just shrugged and turned, presenting his gourd to me, which I realized was still draped in my armor and weapons.

"Oh. Right. Thanks." I unstrapped the various leather and equipment off him and put it back on, feeling much better once I was fully situated again.

He turned back around to look at me, and it was at that moment that I realized Gaara had some blood dripping down the side of his face. I sucked in my breath and reached up to lightly grab his chin, gently turning his head. He obliged, but his pale eyes slid to the side to continue to look at me from the corner of his eye.

"How'd this happen?" I asked as I reached up with my other hand, lightly dabbing my fingertip in the blood and holding it in front of his face for him to see.

His eyes swiveled to my fingers, took in the blood with some consternation, and then he turned his head to look down at me as he said simply, "I'm not sure."

I tsked and reached into my kit now strapped to my waist and rummaged in the compartment where I kept my bandages. I gestured for him to lean down a little so I could treat his wound. He complied, closing his eyes as I gently parted the red hair at his temple, searching for the cut. I found it swiftly, and thankfully it was just superficial. It was a simple matter to bunch up some gauze and press it to the wound to stop the bleeding. I wrapped a thin bandage strip around his forehead, where most people would have their headbands strapped, to hold on the gauze and tied it at the back of his head. His red bangs flopped over the white band of cloth.

"Thank you." He murmured, standing strait once more.

"No problem."

The med cat pawed my foot and mewed that she had run out of chakra and needed to return. I bent and thanked her sincerely for her help. She grinned a cat smile, her green eyes squinting closed, and poofed back to the cat village.

Soon after that Nekomata also had to return, leaving me, Gaara, and Shukaku hanging out by ourselves. We took a short breather, and then decided to return to the battlefield, right as Madara chopped down the big tree-thing. Or had Naruto and Sasuke done that? I wasn't sure, but I did know that the entire thing disappeared, seemingly inside Madara. Which was very odd indeed. _Where'd it go?_

 _ **In his ass maybe? It must be huge to accommodate that fat head of his.**_

 _Haha, very funny Kitty._ I snorted mentally at her crude humor.

But there wasn't much time for amusement, because then Madara floated up into the sky and suddenly the moon turned red, which could only mean one thing.

"Oh fuck, he actually did it…" I groaned as I felt my mind get a little fuzzy and my body grow slightly numb.

Shukaku snarled deep in his chest and his body turned to sand, wrapping Gaara and me in a cocoon. That seemed to dull the symptoms a little, but I still felt my body going limp and unresponsive, falling to the floor of the sand dome, and felt Gaara's body do the same beside me.

I whined, aware that something was worming its way into my mind, trying to take over. And while that was happening, I felt the sand cocoon shift and then sensed the very odd impression that we were all being lifted into the air, the rocking motion making it seem like we were now suspended somehow.

With my last shred of willpower left, I opened the communication line between Gaara's and my mind, and felt the zip of his chakra that let me know he had done the same.

 _What's…what's going on…._ I mentally mumbled to him.

 _I don't…know…_ He managed to reply, even though I could feel how difficult it was.

 _The infinite…Tsukuyomi…I guess…_

 _Probably…_

 _Damn…_ I groaned. And then I felt myself slipping into the abyss, adrift for a disconcerting moment, and then suddenly I opened my eyes, lying on the ground and staring up at a blue day-lit sky.

"What the…?!" I sat up, holding my head and looked around.

I was back in Suna, or at least that was the way it looked. I was still fully aware that I was within a Genjutsu though. I suspected that Shukaku being wrapped around me had dulled the effects of the visual jutsu enough that I still had my mind under my own control, I was just seeing the dream, but I was still aware that I was in it.

I sighed and stood, deciding to explore since it was basically the only thing I could do. _Oh wait, first…better seen if I can still talk to Gaara._

I poked around in my head, and found our connection. It was fuzzy, and felt extremely staticky, like a radio with bad reception. But I could faintly feel him through it. Well, the first order of business would be to try to strengthen our bond, even though we were apparently in separate dreams. I wasn't sure how to go about doing that.

And then there was… _Kitty, You still there?_

 _ **Yep. I'm inside your mind, so thankfully it looks like we went the same place.**_

 _Well that's good at least._

So…now it was just a matter of strengthening the bond with Gaara. To do that, I would need to find somewhere I could hide and meditate. With that in mind, I stood and set off. It appeared that the village was set up pretty much the same way as in the real world, but it was still different here and there, which was disconcerting.

I decided the best thing to do would be to simply leave the village entirely, to try and avoid distraction from the dream citizens of this world. They weren't real, so I didn't really feel the need to socialize with them. Unfortunately, they apparently didn't feel the same way, because on my way out of the village I was nearly bowled over by a pair of guys, running blindly in some sort of mindless terror.

"Watch it!" I barked, catching myself on the ground with one hand and twisting to get out of the way, ending up sitting midway up on the wall of the alley.

They turned, wild eyed, and shouted, "Watch out! HE'S back there! He'll kill us all! He's in one of those moods! RUN!"

I blinked, cocked my head to the side and looked at them like they were dumbasses. Which was stupid, because they weren't real so they couldn't be smart or stupid.

"Um. Okaaaaaay. I dunno what the hell you're talking about, but whatever." I just shook my head and they ran off.

I sighed and dropped off the wall as I continued on my path to the outer wall of the village. I quickly figured out what exactly they meant though, when I ran into an exceptionally angry, totally psychopathic, 17 or 18 year old Gaara, who's power had advanced as much as the real Gaara's had over the years. But this Gaara obviously was totally still fucked in the head. _Well. Fun._ This dream wasn't going to be boring at least.

I heaved a sigh and shook my head in a disparaging manner as I watched psycho-dream-Gaara wrap up some random dream-person in his sand, first coffin-crushing and then sand-burial-ing them with a splatter of disturbingly real feeling blood, which I discovered as it spattered my face. I flinched, realizing my mistake. I should have known that would happen, so I definitely should have stepped back. But oh well, it was just dream-blood after all.

 _ **Oh looky what we've got. It's fun psycho Gaara. I've never actually met him you know.**_

 _Well today's your lucky day Kitty._

Psycho Gaara turned to us, and he looked exactly the same as Real Gaara, except his hair was a tad shorter, and he was wearing a black short sleeved version of his red coat, with black fishnet sleeves coming out from beneath it. The harness strapping his gourd to his back was the same, and the belts strapped around his waist were still grey. It was actually pretty good looking, it was an impressive mix of his black outfit from his psycho days, and his current outfit. I'd bet anything he was wearing a black t-shirt and his black pants with the bandages wrapped around his calves underneath that coat.

I met his killer stare, and had to admit it unnerved me a tad. I hadn't seen that look in his eyes in a long time, that particular brand of murderous insanity and blood-lust. I'd grown so used to his more…tame version, the real version, that this wilder, still totally crazy Gaara threw me for a loop for just a second. I shook myself, forcing myself to get back into the mindset from when I had first met Crazy-Gaara in real life. If this guy was at all the same, then I would be able to deal with him in the same way.

I absentmindedly mused that probably the whole point of this was for me to be able to single-handedly show this Gaara the light, and that was supposed to hook me. He was the bait, to get me absorbed into this reality. But I wasn't going to let it. Even though I figured I'd enjoy this little confrontation, I wasn't going to let it make me forget reality.

Psycho Gaara turned towards me fully, a curious glint in his eyes now. I remembered that look, it meant he was wondering why I wasn't running away from him. I snorted and just walked towards him. He was standing between me and the outer wall, and I really just wanted to get outside of the village so I could work on contacting the real Gaara. He watched me approach, his eyes narrowing in fascination and that wonderful crazy gleam.

He silently stared at me and I walked by him, not altering my course except to walk around him like I would walk around anyone, with the normal foot or two of space between us. I could feel his eyes still watching me and saw his head turn out of the corner of my eyes. I wasn't particularly surprised when I only got a few feet from him before a coil of sand caught my foot, quickly sliding up around my calf and then wrapping around my hips, waist, and finally tightening around my throat.

"Um, do you mind? I have somewhere I need to be, so if you would be so kind as to remove your sand, I would appreciate it." I said matter-of-factly, mildly exasperated.

"Who the fuck are you?! Why aren't you afraid of me?!" He snarled from behind me, and the sand twisted violently, forcing me to turn and face him. I winced at the slight sand burns I got from the harsh treatment.

"Rude. Let me go." I huffed, frowning at him. He was back to being a bossy brat. Lovely.

He just stared at me, his eyes burning with frustration and curiosity as he glared at me. "Answer my question!" He hissed, his sand tightening around me painfully and he stalked up to me.

"And there it is…that penchant for getting too fucking close. Do you have no sense of personal space or boundaries Gaara?" I grumbled as he got nose to nose with me.

His eyes flared, widening in shock and then narrowing viciously as his hand replaced the sand on my throat. He squeezed, making my vision spotty, and snarled, "You know me? How?"

I choked, coughed, and wheezed, "And there's the choking fetish. You do realize it's difficult to answer your questions when you're choking me right?"

He growled, totally at his wits end.

I had had enough and summoned enough wind to shove his sand off me, pushing him back as well. I coughed and rubbed my throat, giving him a reproachful glare. "That's enough of that. I'm not going to put up with your bad attitude. Like I said. I have things to do. So if you'll excuse me…" I turned and walked away, almost laughing when I heard him sputtering behind me and then the loud snarl and exasperated roar that burst from his throat. I had forgotten how much fun he was to shock when he'd been all psycho.

Naturally he didn't give up and I heard the hiss of his sand as he mustered a large quantity of it. I sighed and did the hand signs for a wind shield, spinning on my heel as I felt the approach of a massive amount of the deadly stuff. Sure enough, a big wave of sand was almost upon me, and I put up my wind barrier right in time as it crashed down on top of me. I gritted my teeth, somewhat stressed by the immense power behind the attack.

My wind shield held though, and after a moment the sand somewhat subsided, circling around to try to get at me from behind. I altered the shield to wrap around me, and in the short reprieve I drew Kamikaze. I knew to get him to leave off, I'd have to smack some sense into him.

I slid my hand down the handle and grabbed the ribbon of Kamikaze, immediately charging her up with chakra and spinning her like a big fan in front of me, summoning a large cyclone that shredded Psycho Gaara's sand and tossed him back on his ass, hard. I snuffed the cyclone there by grabbing the hilt again, the tail wrapping around my wrist. With him still off balance I used my Telaria jutsu to dart forward and slashed my blade across his chest, which of course didn't hurt him because of his sand armor, but it did slice through the harness holding his gourd on his back.

I caught sight of his wide eyes as he slid back, flipping to his feet and crouched in an attack position. To my surprise he held out his hand and sand gathered to him, in a way I had never seen before. A large sand sword quickly formed and his hand wrapped around the apparently pretty sturdy hilt. It was a wicked looking blade, long and curved in various ways, and I could see the sand shifting in places, which suggested that he could reshape it at will.

I slide Kamikaze back into the sheath on my back and drew my short swords, figuring I'd need their maneuverability for this. Sure enough, as soon as he came for me, that sword proved to be a problem. He went for an overhead swing and as I blocked it with my short swords, the sand reformed, curving around my blades and going for my face. I gasped and sent a surge of wind down my swords, breaking up the sand.

I slid back and charged up both blades to maximum, the wind warping and sharpening around the sharpened steel, a familiar vibration traveling to the hilt and a high pitched screech starting up. I called enough wind to me that it was visible, a haze around my blades and hands. Gaara eyed me with a good amount of anticipation and curiosity glinting in his narrowed gaze. He almost looked like he was having fun, and that notion was proved correct when a slow evil grin spread across his lips. It was that same sort of deadly smile that I had seen in the Chunin exams so long ago, the one that had both frightened me and excited me in ways I didn't really want to think about. I had to admit, his smile was very attractive, even when he looked psychopathic, which just went to show how sexy I thought he was in general.

Stuffing those thoughts down into the back of my head, where Kitty snickered and perused them at her leisure, I continued fighting him. He was a tough opponent, and fighting up close and personal like this was so out of my experience when dealing with him, at least before he learned Taijutsu. He slashed and I blocked with my wind, I slashed and he blocked with his sand, and it became more and more apparent that we were evenly matched, with neither of us managing to get an advantage. Eventually I had had enough and put an end to it by darting in, super-fast with my Telaria jutsu, using my wind shield to keep his sand off me. I slid my swords back into the sheaths on my thighs and called an intense amount of wind to my palms which I then slammed into his chest to shove all his sand armor off with one big gust. Then, I dragged him into my personal space, inside my wind shield which blocked him off from his sand, and got nose to nose with him. I had him by the tattered remains of his harness that had held his gourd on his back and I jerked him to be with that, pushing my face way into his personal bubble, and hissed, "Look…I will say this very slowly. I…Do…Not…Want…To…Fight…You…Right…Now. I'm busy, I have things to do, and this is not one of them. We are obviously evenly matched, so lay off. I'm not in the mood to deal with your pissy attitude right now."

His eyes widened at first, when I jerked him into my space and got all up in his business, and then slowly narrowed until they were pale glittering slits of menace and interest. The gleam of blood lust and battle slowly dimmed and I held him there and gave him the hairy eye-ball until it looked like he was ready to calm the fuck down and stop with the fighting. Once it looked like he wasn't going to kill me, I let him go and stepped back, waiting for a moment to see what he would do. He kept up that intense pale gaze of his, beaning me between the eyes with the sheer power of his glare. I'd almost forgotten just how eerie that intense evil, psychotic, stare of his was.

I held his eyes for a moment and then when it looked like he was finally done, I nodded and turned, walking away. I shook my head and headed towards the wall again, and thankfully the anticipated sand attack never came. Once I finally reached the wall, I followed it to an exit and left the village entirely, mounting the dunes outside and trekking a good distance from Suna. It was evening, and the sand was still hot, but the wind was cool as I found a good place to sit.

I could still feel the presence of psycho Gaara and knew he had silently followed me, which was unsurprising. He was just as stalkerish as Gaara had been back then. But I figured he would probably just hang around and watch me for a while, so I pretty much ignored him.

I sat, closed my eyes, and relaxed some. _Hey Kitty, keep tabs on Psycho would ya? If he makes a move let me know, I'm going to try to reactivate this line with Gaara._

 _ **On it.**_

 _Thanks._

 **Gaara POV**

Meanwhile, Gaara also found himself in a dream world, and like Ren, he was also aware that it was a dream. He found himself in an odd setting, a stand of woods, quite luscious with green foliage, and moonlit by the silver light of the full moon. He had the distinct feeling that he was searching the woods for an entity of some kind, that he was supposed to find. Apparently, this person or creature was being hunted by someone, he wasn't sure who exactly, but what he did know was that he was meant to find her first and get her to safety. What an odd dream. He also had the distinct feeling that he was supposed to return with her to the village.

He glanced around, and then remembered the connection with Ren and immediately tried to activate it. It felt incredibly staticky and somewhat useless at the moment. The only thing he could think of was to send Shukaku along the line, but to do that he'd need to get Shukaku's cooperation. Although, considering how much Shukaku seemed to care about Ren, he suspected he wouldn't have that much trouble with it.

 _Shukaku?_

 _ **Yeah, yeah, I know. Good idea dumbass. I'll give it a shot.**_ The moody raccoon responded and then faded slightly from Gaara's mind as he went in search of Ren.

Meanwhile, Gaara decided he should find somewhere he could just park himself and wait it out. He wasn't going to participate in this dream if possible. He didn't think he would get sucked in, but he certainly didn't want to risk it at least not until he had reactivated the connection with Ren.

 **Ren POV**

I slowly limited all my senses, focusing entirely on my mind and intensely on that one little spot in my mind where Gaara and I were connected. I could feel his chakra signature, the imprint in my own mind he had created, and I started there. I sensed around that spot with my chakra, getting a feel for it, and then hunted out the chakra line that connected us. Basically it was an invisible, intangible thread of chakra that stretched infinitely between our minds. I knew physically his body was right beside mine in the sand cocoon, but at the moment it was as if we were worlds apart, separated by this stupid Genjutsu. I used the same method I had discovered when we had first established the connection, using my mind to make a mental image of it. I picture it like a fog, the Genjutsu that separated us was a mist between us, and the chakra thread stretched into it, getting fuzzy and disappearing. I couldn't see Gaara at all.

 _Alrighty, well_ , _here goes nothing._ I grabbed hold of the chakra thread and pictured myself small, small enough to be on top of the thread, and then the thread was a bridge that I was standing on. I gingerly walked into the fog. It was dank and chilly and sinister. I could feel Madara's chakra all around me and it wasn't happy about me being there. Thankfully the twins had taught me a little about Genjutsus and how to counter them. As I walked into the fog I made sure to leave a little of my chakra along behind me, tethering my mental body to my actual body, and also protecting the bridge that was the connection between our minds.

I walked through the fog, aware that it might spring a defensive trap on me. And sure enough, after walking for what felt like miles, I heard a rumble, and then a low growl as the fog shifted a little around me, as if there was something alive and immense within the hidden depths. I put up a shield around me and the bridge, not about to have it be snapped. I sent the shield all along the chakra I had laid down behind me, so that it protected the extent of the bridge I had already traversed.

The faster I made it across the better, I didn't want to leave the connection between our minds vulnerable to Madara's chakra. So with that in mind, I hustled my butt, scooting along the bridge as fast as I could. That was made more difficult as something hit the bottom of the bridge, shaking the entire structure. I had naturally pictured it as a rope bridge, so I was sent bouncing around in a rather dangerous manner and grabbed onto the ropes, tethering myself to the bridge with chakra to hold me secure. If I got flung off the bridge into the fog, I suspected my mind would be lost and my body would end up going into a coma. I'd be a vegetable.

This was turning out to be a bit more dangerous than I had expected. Maybe I hadn't thought this one out enough.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. I got down onto hands and knees, and proceeded to crawl, keeping up a constant stream of chakra between my feet, knees, and hands in contact with the bridge to hold me to it as it was tossed around like a tiny little boat in an immense sea-storm. I caught a glimpse of what looked like a huge creepy sea serpent made of fog swimming through the mist, banging into my rope bridge. The damn thing was enormous and ugly as all get out, with big nasty teeth and a spiky gnarly body. Naturally Madara's chakra had to have some big, nasty, dragon-thing guarding it. I gritted my mental teeth and just kept on going, trying to make my presence as small as possible to avoid aggravating Madara's chakra and hopefully stay hidden.

I kept at it, even as I felt my chakra getting low. It was getting dangerously low actually, and soon I felt myself slipping, holding onto the imagined boards of the bridge with my mental fingers now. As if it could sense my weakness, the serpent increased its efforts. I was almost tossed from the bridge a few times, but managed to hang on just barely, grabbing onto the boards beneath me and clinging to them for dear life.

But then a particularly vicious shove forced my fingers to slip and I felt myself coming away from the bridge, losing my grip, and slipping into the fog. I had a brief moment of stark terror as I realized I was about to be lost. My entire mind went numb with shock within that single moment, unable to really believe that I was about to die, or at least mentally die. I was afraid, more afraid than I had ever been in my entire life, and I screamed, even though I knew there was no purpose to it, even though I knew I was screaming mentally and no one could hear me.

I fell into the darkness, but only for a split second, as suddenly I was caught by a rope of sand.

I gasped and looked up, almost expecting to see Gaara. Instead, I looked up into the black and gold eyes of Shukaku staring down at me from a bridge that was now draped in sand. It looked like he had done the same thing I had and had fortified it as he went along. He pulled me up and soon I was standing next to a version of Shukaku that stood as tall as me at the shoulder, almost like an enormous dog, or a small bear. I sat down, hard, on the bridge, which had stabilized thanks to Shukaku's sand.

"Thanks Shukaku, you really saved my butt." I gasped, feeling my mental body shivering in left-over fear. That had been awful, an experience I never, ever wanted to repeat.

He blinked at me and cocked his head. "Sure. Wouldn't want to lose that lovely butt of yours after all." And he grinned.

I sighed and shook my head, chuckling shakily. "Yeah, well, give me a second here. That shook me up a bit." I huffed and sat still for a few moments, draping my arms over my knees and letting my head fall down in between my legs, to let the trembling in my mental limbs to subside.

He just sat next to me and looked out into the fog, not saying anything, and simply being a surprisingly comforting presence. Sure, as I sat there, essentially my essence next to his, I could sense him more clearly than normal, and I could distinctly feel the dark nature of his chakra. I could sense the deep anger and hatred that seemed to be ingrained into his spirit, the evil, murderous, blood-lust that had driven Gaara to insanity as a young child.

But the longer I sat there, the more I realized that he didn't feel…like a monster. He didn't seem to be intrinsically evil, not like a devil or a demon that people had made him out to be. I had grown comfortable enough with him, since he often conversed across the line, and had even leant me his chakra from time to time. It had been a long time since I had thought of him as a true monster, but still, it came as something of a surprise to realize that the blood-lust and the darkness and the murderous psychosis that I had always attributed to his being some sort of evil creature, as I had always been told, didn't seem to really be a part of his intrinsic self. I turned my head and looked at him, my interest drawn in this strange luminal moment. He met my gaze with his black and gold eyes, staring back silently and letting me observe him.

The longer I actively searched him with my senses, almost able to look into his mind in the strange mental state we were currently in, the more I realized that he was simply very angry, and it seemed that the reason for that anger was maybe hurt.

After a long moment I spoke, voicing the question that had plagued me for a while now but that I had never really acknowledged. "Why are you so angry? Is it because you're forced into someone, over and over, confined against your will, and then forced to do things like some sort of slave?"

His eyes flared and he stared at me for a long moment. Then his face got closer to mine, his black nose almost touching mine. "Yes. All humans have ever done to me is use me and imprison me. Over time I've grown to hate and despise them, wanting to kill every last human in existence, to see and taste and smell and feel their blood as I spill it."

I wasn't fazed by the gruesome words, it was what I would expect from being forced to go through what he had. "I understand. I would probably feel the same way if I was in your position." I said simply.

His eyes widened and then he blinked, a few times, before his head cocked to the side and he adopted a weird cockeyed expression, amusingly similar to the one I had seen on Gaara's face before. He just stared at me and didn't say anything.

After a moment I asked, "And Gaara? Do you wish to kill him as well?"

He paused and seemed to think about it for a long moment. "At first yes. Being confined in the body of a baby was humiliating, and all I wanted was to drive him insane with blood-lust and force him to kill everyone, anyone, especially people he cared about. When he was younger, it seemed that he was just like all the rest. But…he's changed, he's different from my other hosts. Aside from an old monk that I grew to like, all my other hosts I gladly drove to insanity and killed. But that monk told me that one day, someone would come, someone different, who could show me what the human heart was capable of. He said that this person would accept me. I never believed him, I mean, why would I? As far as I was concerned, humans were all assholes and just wanted to use me…but…" He paused, looking almost uncomfortable with the conversation and glanced away.

After a long moment I said, "You think Gaara might be that person?"

He looked back towards me, and then he said slowly, "Yes, I think so." And then after another long pause he added, "So…no. I don't want to kill him. I am content to remain by his side. He and I have grown to appreciate and accept one another. Even if he is a dumbass sometimes."

I smiled. "That's good to hear. It seemed like you two have gotten along much better lately, so I was hoping you had come to some sort of understanding." I paused and then after a few moments I asked the other question that had been burning my mind. "So is that why you…uh…haven't killed me? I mean, you've had so many opportunities. Although, you had many opportunities to kill me long before it seemed that you and Gaara grew to get along, so I guess that doesn't make sense."

He just looked at me and cocked his head, his fangs gleaming a little with a little grin. "Why haven't I killed you? I should think you'd know the answer to that question. You're our mate, and I'm not really into necrophilia."

I blinked and cocked my head. "Eh…mate? So you actually think of me as your mate? Like…girlfriend, or wife, or something?"

He barked a deep laugh, grinning and bearing all his white sharp teeth. "My feelings are tied to my host's, and Gaara chose you as our mate way back. O' course I knew about it long before he did. Like I said, he's a dumbass. He chose you when you were still children, not that his feelings weren't horny or anything. And I still remembered you, even when he didn't. It took him a long fucking time to get with the picture."

I gaped at him for a long moment and then shook my head and gathered my scattered brains off the windows and walls where they had been blown and spattered to bits. "Well…okay then. I guess that explains a lot."

He huffed, chuckling some more and stood with me.

I spoke up, getting back to the matter at hand. "Alright. Well, do you want to come to me first or should I go to him first?"

He shrugged, so I decided it didn't really matter. We first walked back to my mind, and Shukaku stabilized that connection, beefing it up substantially with his chakra and sand, and then I followed him back to Gaara's mind, strengthening the connection as I went with my chakra. To get through this fog we needed a substantially thicker connection.

As we walked the bridge again, the fog continued to fight back and the bridge shook back and forth somewhat, unnerving me and reminding me that I had nearly lost my marbles into that mist not too long ago. After a particularly hard bump I staggered and automatically reached for Shukaku, my hand landing on the thick fur at the back of his neck and shoulders. It was so strange to walk beside him when his shoulder was even with my own, I was so used to him being so massive.

His head swung to the side a little and he eyed me out of the corner of his dark eyes.

I withdrew my hand at the look, suddenly a bit embarrassed. "Sorry."

He frowned and gave me an ' _are you stupid?_ ' look as he said, "I don't care…stupid, I just told you I considered you as my mate. Do you really think I mind you touching me?"

I gasped, a tad shocked by his calling me stupid, and then I busted into surprised laughter. "S-st…stupid huh? Thanks for that, numbskull."

He snorted in amusement and I put my hand back on his shoulder, getting closer to him as the bridge continued to shake. We walked like that the rest of the way, and his powerful presence helped to ease my continued discomfort with the situation. His pelt was surprisingly soft, for being able to turn into sand.

Finally, we made it to Gaara's mind and stepped inside, which was just as strange as I had felt before.

 _Hi there. Testing 123, how's the reception?_ I asked mentally, since both ways had now been reinforced.

 _Ren?! Is that you? Thank god. I thought I was going to go insane._ Gaara's mind said loud and clear.

 _Nope. Not while I'm around. Thanks for sending Shukaku by the way, I probably would have totally lost my mind if it weren't for him. Literally._

 _ **That's right baby.**_ Shukaku said smugly. I mentally pinched his ear, and he batted me away with a big paw, claws sheathed. Gaara seemed exceptionally confused by the interaction, but didn't comment on it.

Once the connection was reestablished I returned to my own mind swiftly and opened my eyes back to the dream. _Kitty, how's our psycho friend?_

 _ **He's just sitting there watching you. Although his blood-lust seems to be rising steadily. He'll probably make a move soon.**_

 _Alrighty then._

 _Psycho friend?_ Gaara's mental voice sounded in my head, soothing me more than I could imagine. To have that tether to reality, I knew was something I could trust in. We could keep each other sane and separate from the dreams we were stuck in.

 _Yeah…that would be you. Not YOU, you, but the Psycho-Gaara in my dream. He's your age, but apparently never grew out of the bloodlust thing._ I responded.

 _Oh shit. Be careful._

 _Yeah. No worries._ I thought somewhat dismissively.

 _That doesn't really make me feel any better._ He responded sourly.

 _I don't think dying in the dream would actually kill you in real life, but I'm not planning on testing the theory._

 _Good._ He huffed mentally, still sounding anxious.

 _How about you? What's your dream about?_ I asked, curious about where had he ended up.

 _Not really sure. I get the feeling I'm supposed to save somebody from something, but I haven't bothered to pursue it._

 _Huh. Well, I suppose there's nothing better to do right now. So you might as well. With our connection we can keep each other from sinking too deep into this dream world._ I felt his unease through our connection smooth out a little as he was soothed by my thoughts on the matter.

 _Fair point. I suppose I'll go and see what I'm supposed to do in a bit. Right now I'm content to just sit and listen to your dream._ He murmured, and I could feel a good amount of curiosity seeping through our connection.

 _Listen to my dream?_

 _With this increased connection I can close my eyes and almost see through yours, if I concentrate hard enough._ He clarified, satisfying my confusion about what he meant by "listen in" on my dream. It was an odd way to put it, but when I tested it myself I could see what he meant. With my eyes closed and my attention focused on him, I could vaguely get the sense of a forested dark area, and it felt like it was nighttime where he was. I retreated and resumed my own state of dreamland, focusing back in on my current situation.

 _Interesting. Well, suite yourself. You're welcome to watch._

 _Hm._ He made his Gaara-sound in its mental version, which felt very odd inside my head.

With that, I opened my eyes, and blinked when I noticed that the moon had come up in my dream world. It was night and the temperature had dropped, and in the darkness, I could see a shadowy figure sitting on the dune next to mine, watching me. I sighed and looked towards him.

"Alright. What do you want?" I said aloud.

"Who are you?" Gaara's raspy voice slid through the shadows, darkened by his mental state.

"My name is Ren."

"Why aren't you afraid of me?" He snarled, and I could see his form lurch into a more aggressive, crouched position.

I shrugged. "It's complicated. I don't think my explaining it would help at all. But suffice it to say, that I'm just not."

He stood, and even from this distance I could feel that menacing aura coming off him in waves. He stalked towards me, his intentions obviously not exactly friendly. I could feel the sand around me beginning to shift, getting all weird and squirrely beneath me.

"Oh just stop it." I sighed and turned to look at the moon.

 _It's a full moon. Be careful. I always was more volatile during the full moon. I still am._ The real Gaara thought to me in warning, interrupting my train of thought.

 _Good to know._

Meanwhile, the dream Gaara came to stand next to me, silently looming over my seated form.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Finally. Sheesh. Sorry about the wait, again, school sucks. Nothing more to say. :(

But anyway, I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter and Ren's dream.


	83. Burn With Me: Chapter 68

After a moment I sighed and looked up at him, meeting his pale deadly glare. "What?" I asked, a tad sullenly.

His head cocked to the side and he reached out towards me, slowly as if expecting me to jump back and run away. He didn't seem to be about to kill me, so I sat still, waiting to see what would happen and was mildly startled when his hand landed on my head. I blinked, surprised by the physical contact, but didn't withdraw.

"Why don't you withdraw from my touch?" He questioned, his tone slightly less aggressive and more curious now.

"I'm fine with your touch. As long as it doesn't hurt. I wasn't too fond of your choking me earlier, or attacking me in general." I said.

"Hm." He made his typical Gaara sound, though it sounded slightly more evil, and his hand fisted in my hair, tilting my head back a little. It hurt a little, but not overly so, and I let him do it, mainly because I didn't particularly care. Strangely this feral version of Gaara was turning me on in a slightly disturbing way. I didn't really want to think about what that meant.

"Okay, that's pushing it a little." I said mildly as his hand tightened even more in my hair, growing more painful.

He huffed in confusion, released my head, and crouched in front of me, keeping himself coiled and tense and maintaining a higher presence to keep the power in his favor. He leaned into me from slightly above and lowered his face closer to mine, obviously trying to intimidate me. I could see his non-brows furrowing and his pale gaze examined my face with an intensity that made me uncomfortable.

"You really aren't afraid." He growled, almost sounding aggravated now. "Why? I simply don't understand. Everyone is afraid of me, as they should be."

I stared back into his eyes, mostly unperturbed by his proximity, though it was slightly disconcerting, but that was mainly because he wasn't the Gaara I knew. "As you saw earlier, I don't have any reason to be scared of you."

 _Careful Ren…You're pushing his buttons._ Real Gaara cautioned across our link. Obviously he was still tuning in to this little interaction.

 _I know, but thanks for the warning._

Right on que, Dream Gaara's expression shifted, becoming more deadly, more aggressive, and he leaned in closer, really getting up into my personal space, and before I realized I was doing it my body was leaning back instinctually. Leaning back wasn't the best idea under the circumstances, considering it gave Gaara a higher position and he took full advantage of the opening, planting one hand down on the ground next to me and crouching over me in a very threatening manner.

"I was just testing you, since you seemed so cocky. I didn't actually try to kill you, if I had you would be dead. So don't tempt me, because I _will_ end you." He growled, his voice low in his chest and all sorts of gravelly.

I shivered, strangely finding myself more excited than frightened, although I couldn't help but be just a tad intimidated. It was odd though, the intimidation was actually part of the arousal in a strange way. I realized absentmindedly, that when psycho-Gaara wasn't killing me or anyone else I actually found him quite attractive. I had always known that I found him sexy, and the evil thing was a part of that apparently, but at the time when Real Gaara had been psychotic and evil I hadn't been very tuned into my feelings. Now that I was more mature and comfortable with my sexuality I was actually shocked by just how turned on I was, not necessarily by the death threat, but by the aggression.

 _ **It's a lot more than that Kitten, it's instinct. Gaara is your mate, and the blatant display of power brings out certain sexual instincts inside of you. I suspect you had them even before you got me, but of course with me it's all compounded.**_

 _No kidding. What a time to find out about that._

 **Gaara POV**

As he listened in on the fascinating conversation going down over on Ren's side of things, he was both intensely curious and a tad anxious about this psycho version of himself. As he sensed the exchange going on, he was more and more fascinated by the actions and reactions of both the fake Gaara and Ren. In particular, Ren was not at all reacting in the way he would have thought she would. Instead of growing afraid of this more aggressive, obviously dangerous version of himself, she seemed to instead be getting…aroused?

The whole concept of her being turned on by "his" aggression, or power, or whatever it was that was exciting her at the moment was somewhat bewildering to him. He was oddly jealous of his doppelganger, and suddenly intensely wanted to switch places with the other Gaara. Not that he wanted to be psychotic again or anything, but he wanted to be the one turning Ren on in such a fascinating manner, he wanted to be the one looming over her on that sand dune.

 _Dammit, why do I feel like this?_ He wondered, concerned that maybe he was falling back into old habits.

 _ **You want to conquer her, possess her, dominate her… right?**_ Shukaku piped up, ruffling all of Gaara's feathers and making him tense up.

 _NO! Of course I don't want that! I want to have an equal relationship! I don't want to dominate her or any such thing, that would be one-sided and utterly unfair to her!_ He barked back.

The Tanuki heaved an exasperated sigh. _**No dumbass! I meant sexually. You want to overpower her SEXUALLY, you know, S…E…X…? That thing that's always on your mind when you're around her?**_

… _no…_

Shukaku growled, obviously getting fed up with his bullshit. _**I'm not asking, I'm telling! And if you'd stop protesting, I'll explain why, so shut up and listen. The reason you want to do that is because it's an animal thing. Both my species and Kitty's species mate like that, with the male displaying power and asking for the female's submission. If the female finds him to be a suitable mate, in other words if he can conquer her, then she mates with him. It's because you're both part animal now, you have animal instincts.**_ Shukaku paused, waiting to see how Gaara would respond to that.

Gaara simply didn't think or say anything to the Tanuki, not entirely sure he was okay with this new information.

Shukaku snarled, beyond irritated now. _**Get with the picture. You want to boss her around in bed, she likes it, what's the problem?**_

Gaara was still too shocked to make a very good response, so he stayed silence and did his best to pretend he hadn't just heard what he thought he had. Shukaku sighed and let it go…for now.

 **Ren POV**

Of course I didn't let Dream Gaara see just how he was affecting me, so I rolled my eyes at him. "Death threats don't work on me. And you'd have to try really hard to actually kill me. I'm a lot tougher than your normal prey. Scratch that. I'm not your prey at all."

His eyes flared and the hand that wasn't boxing me in went back into my hair, roughly grabbing a handful and aggressively tilting my head back at the right angle so he could get nose to nose with me. Literally. "Everyone is my prey." He snarled right in my face.

"Not me." I hissed back, and let my eyes flare into night vision mode. Which actually helped quite a bit to see his shocked reaction as his hand spasmed in my hair. Apparently my eyes shifting had thrown him for a loop and he withdrew a bit.

"Are you….?"

"Like you? Yes. I'm also not entirely human. That's why I said I'm not your prey." I narrowed my eyes and watched him closely for any hint he was about to attack.

Instead, he released my hair and sat down in front of me, watching me intently, his expression much less angry, and now mostly open with a childlike curiosity. We sat there for a while just staring into each other's eyes.

 _This is so odd. To have him sitting in front of me, looking so much like you, but not you._ I thought to Real Gaara.

 _Understandably._ He responded.

After a while, my dream body insisted that I was hungry and exhausted, which was ridiculous, but whatever, and so I stood and dusted myself off. Gaara stood as well, silently watching me.

"I'm hungry and tired. So I'm going to go home." I yawned.

"Where do you live?" Gaara questioned, moving to stand beside me.

I stalled. Good question. I had no idea. The layout of the streets had been different, the village had mostly looked the same otherwise, but there would be no way for me to find my apartment. If I even had one in this reality.

"Huh. I have no clue." I mumbled, frowning in consternation.

"You are a Sand Shinobi, how can you not know?" He asked gruffly, sounding exceptionally suspicious.

"It's a long story, and I don't really feel like going into it at the moment. Plus I don't really think you would believe me, and it wouldn't make much of a difference." I said, truly not interested in explaining this whole situation to a denizen of a dream world.

There was a long pause and I shrugged, deciding to get food first and worry about finding a bed later. So that's what I did. I found some food and ate, Gaara following me the whole time, which scared all the villagers so much that they practically threw the food at me.

After I had eaten, I sat and tried to figure out how to go about finding where I lived. The problem was solved for me, when Gaara he grabbed me by the back of my neck and started hauling me off. Apparently he had decided that I was his now and he could do whatever the hell he liked with me. Normally I would take issue with being handled in such a manner, but under the circumstance I decided to just go along with it and see what happened.

We arrived at an apartment and I was rather roughly and rudely shoved inside. The door shut and locked itself behind us, but I couldn't turn my head to verify that his sand had been the responsible party for that, considering his hand was still on the nape of my neck. And then, abruptly I was shoved off balance, his hand pushing me almost face first into the ground, but after a foot of staggering I regained my balance.

I turned and scowled, not entirely happy about his rough treatment. "Rude." I huffed.

He ignored me and pointed at the bed on one side of the room, which was quite large and spacious with a kitchenette in one corner and then the bed on the other side of the room.

"Sleep." He ordered, and I wondered if this Gaara had a little caveman in him.

"In your bed?" I asked, confused by this turn of events.

He nodded and then shrugged. "I don't sleep. So it doesn't matter."

I was very confused now. Was he being nice? I was under the impression that Psycho Gaara wasn't _nice_. He was a lot of things but _nice_ wasn't one of them.

 _He's not being nice. He's just intrigued by you and has taken possession of you. Like a pet. If you bore him, he won't hesitate to dispose of you. Remember, when I was crazy, I was only looking out for myself._

 _Makes sense._

I shrugged and decided to take him up on the offer, after all I was tired, which was ridiculous since I was in a dream, but whatever. So I walked over to his bed and flopped down on it, eventually drifting off to sleep.

 **Gaara POV**

As Ren drifted off to sleep in her dream world, Gaara finally took stock of his dream. Yes, as he already knew, he was in a forest at night, and as before he could feel someone calling to him, as if she was asking for help. He didn't know how he knew it was a her, but he didn't feel the need to question it, since this was a fabricated reality anyways. He could feel her chakra, and knew he had to follow it, so, with a sigh he stood, brushed off his pants and started hunting.

As he got closer to the distinctive chakra, He began to recognize it, and with a surprised snort, he realized that it felt like Kitty. With renewed curiosity he quickened his pace, interested to see what Madara's Tsukuyomi had cooked up for him, particularly when it had come up with such a diverting variant of nonreality to keep Ren entertained.

As he got closer to the chakra signature, he began to hear the sounds of fighting, and soon he came upon a scene that even though it was only a dream, still managed to upset him. He was greeted by the sight of a group of what seemed to be ninja, who were obviously also hunters of some kind, and they appeared to be attempting to capture what looked like a much smaller variety of Kitty. He could sense her chakra was incredibly weak, and wondered if she had the capability to increase her size, but that at the moment she had been forced to take this form.

At any rate, she was only the size of a normal cat, and a small one at that, with teeny tiny little bat wings that struggled vainly to lift her into the sky, despite the ropes and wicked chains that were attached to her obviously injured legs and tail. In the process of trying to capture her, the ninja-hunters had obviously managed to severely injure her, and to see her so badly beaten gripped Gaara's heart, and he had to remind himself this wasn't truly real. Even so, since he might be stuck here a while, he knew he should intervene, so he was quick to send out a wave of sand, bowling over the attackers and sending them tumbling down the steep incline of the hill.

Kitty dropped like a rock, apparently passing out cold from the strain of attempting to escape, and Gaara swiftly scooped her up mid-fall with a nest of sand that he slid underneath her tiny fragile body. In the span of time it took the enemy to reorient themselves, he severed the chains and ropes, gathered her in his arms and swiftly made a getaway, not really inclined to involve himself with dream people.

On the way back to the Sand Village, which somehow he knew how to get back to in this dream-scape, he inspected her, noting all the quite serious injuries that marred her black pelt, and he increased his pace.

It was a surprisingly short journey back home, and soon he was on his way through the streets of Suna towards what he knew was his living space. He was mildly surprised, and at the same time not so much, that he was living in the large house next to the Kazekage tower, a space usually reserved for Kage who had a family.

He entered the house somewhat hesitantly, unsure about what he might be about to experience in this skewed world. As he entered the front door, he was soon greeted by Ren who had obviously just come from bed based on the night robe she wore, which at the very least helped him to relax some. Even if this world was strange, thankfully Ren was still his girlfriend. He didn't think he would have been able to handle it if this dream had cooked up something else, or someone else that he was supposed to be with. Dream-Ren welcomed him home, and quickly noticed the bundle in his arms.

"What's that?" She barked, stepping back and looking down at his arms, leaning over to get her face closer.

"It's a cat." He murmured, not really sure how to go about explaining Kitty to this version of Ren, who obviously was not possessed by the feline.

"Oh! My goodness gracious! Wow! It's so cute…and are those little wings? Adorable! _Awwww_ …but it looks hurt, what happened? Oh no! Poor little dear!"

Gaara blinked, put off a tad by the slightly odd way this Ren spoke. She sounded… much more sweet and motherly in a weird way. His Ren probably would have said something like, "What the hell? A cat with wings? Well….okay then, so that's a thing I guess. What the fuck happened anyway? It's hurt! Are you hurt?! What happened?!"

He jerked himself back to the dream and answered this Ren with, "She was being attacked by ninja. They appeared to also be hunters. I don't know why they were after her."

"You're so sweet honey! Saving this Kitty! We'll have to patch her up. Bring her in the kitchen and I'll get the medkit." Ren swiftly exited the room, once again leaving Gaara feeling odd.

He shook his head and made his way into the kitchen, taking in the homey feel of the place. After a moment Ren hustled in and sat down next to him, motioning for him to put Kitty on the table. He laid her gently on the table's smooth surface and Ren set to tending to her wounds, bandaging them and whatnot. While she was doing that, suddenly he heard a bang from upstairs and he jerked, looking wide-eyed up at the stairs, concerned that there was an attack.

Ren groaned, drawing his attention to her, and she said, "Oh no…Gina woke up."

He almost asked her who Gina was, but bit his tongue, realizing that probably wasn't a good idea. He soon found out anyway when a young girl came barreling down the stairs yelling at the top of her lungs, "DADDY's HOME!"

His eyes popped open wide as the young female propelled herself into his lap, nearly knocking him, and the chair he was currently occupying, over entirely. He grunted and braced the chair with sand, making sure it didn't fall over.

He looked down into the girl's face as she turned it up, beaming at him happily and looping her arms over his shoulders to give him a big hug. He automatically wrapped his arms around her as well, not entirely sure about it all, but guessing that she was supposed to be his daughter, in which case he had better act the part. He could see a lot of Ren in her face, and noted her silvery pale purple eyes, almost a mix between their two eye colors.

"Gina? You should be in bed!" Ren scolded gently as she continued to bandage Kitty.

"But Mommy…" Gina whined and then was immediately distracted by what her mommy was doing. "Oh! A Kitty! But…she's hurt…why is she hurt mommy?"

"Your father rescued her from some bad people." Ren responded, tying off the knot in the bandage she was wrapping around one paw.

"Did the bad people hurt her?"

"Yes sweetheart"

"Will she be okay?" Gina asked, biting her lips and looking like she was about to start crying.

"Of course, she'll be just fine. Let your mother finish bandaging her up." Gaara intoned, working to keep his voice normal even though it felt incredibly strange to be talking to his imaginary daughter that he didn't know he had.

"Okay Daddy." She turned and smiled up at him and he felt his heart squeeze. Even though she wasn't truly his daughter, the obvious resemblance she had to both him and Ren, and the way she called him 'Daddy' had his emotions going all over the place. A place inside of him that he hadn't even been aware of woke up and took notice as what he could only call, "fatherly instincts" surged through his emotional network.

"Come on Gina, let's get you back to bed." He said softly and stood, picking her up.

She sighed and the yawned, letting her cheek lean into his shoulder as he easily carried her up the stairs and looked around for her room. He supposed it was probably the one whose door was rather banged up with a dent in the wall adjacent where the doorknob had obviously been banged into on many occasions.

He walked in, and sure enough it was a young girl's bedroom, so he felt relatively secure in tucking her into the bed. Unless he had another daughter he wasn't aware of. He gently tucked her in, and it seemed she was already drifting off to sleep. On his way out of the room, his eyes were caught by a knickknack shelf on the wall, and the myriad of tiny sand creatures lined up carefully on it. He gently picked one up, and noted his chakra signature in the sand. He must have made these statues for her in his sand, then compressed them into sandstone.

Once again he felt his chest tighten, as he took in the obvious evidence of his fatherhood. He swallowed thickly and put the tiny cat back on the shelf before exiting the room and closing the door. He walked back downstairs to find that Ren had already finished bandaging Kitty and had nestled her in a large box that she had made a nest in with several soft blankets.

"How is she?" He murmured as he walked up beside Ren to look inside the box.

"She'll be fine. It was mostly a bunch of nasty cuts, but I was able to patch her up well enough."

Gaara sighed and nodded, now at a loss of what he was supposed to do. That question was answered for him as Ren took his hand and led him out of the kitchen, turning off the lights as she went. They eventually ended up in "their" bedroom.

"Welcome home…" She murmured, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss him. He tensed but gave her a gentle, chaste kiss in return and she sat down on the bed, obviously having just come from there to begin with. She tucked her feet up under her and when he stood there awkwardly she snorted and asked, "Well? Aren't you going to get ready for bed, sweetheart?"

He blinked and realized he probably should, so he began taking off his gourd and coat, putting them away and then going into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. He came back out into the bedroom in his pajamas and got into bed beside this fake Ren, feeling pretty uneasy about the whole thing. Even though this was Ren…it technically wasn't…and though it was just a dream and not reality, he still couldn't help but feel like he was cheating on his Ren.

He lay beside this dream version of Ren, and she snuggled into him, wrapping her arm over his waist and a leg over his leg as she rested her head on his chest. As he lay there, he thought about everything that had happened in this alternate universe, and couldn't help but feel like he really wanted this family thing someday in the future with his Ren. Slowly he could feel himself tire, and let himself begin to fall asleep.

Meanwhile…He sensed that Real Ren was waking up, just as he was drifting off into slumber, and he felt a gentle smile curving his lips at the thought that one day, he could look forward to this.

 **Ren POV**

When I woke, I was lying flat on my back and as I opened my eyes I looked up into a pair of pale, coal rimmed eyes looking back down at me. I squeaked and jerked as I took in Gaara's form, sitting cross-legged on the ceiling and staring down at me.

"You creeper!" I yelped, sitting up abruptly and glaring up at him.

He didn't respond, just sat there and stared silently down at me. Which was creepy in and of itself.

I huffed and got off the bed. I was still fully dressed, and didn't have any of my armor or weapons with me, so there wasn't anything I needed to do before I left. "Well. Thanks for letting me stay here. I'd better get out of your hair." I said as I walked towards the door.

I wasn't entirely shocked when his sand slithered across the floor, up the wall and spread across the doorknob, locking the door and preventing my exit. I sighed and turned, putting my hands on my hips as he turned to sand and reappeared, standing right side up on the ground where he was supposed to be.

"Are you trying to run away?" He asked in his monotone way, but there was a distinctly sinister note in his voice, almost a threat.

"Run away?" I asked, squinting at him and giving him a look. "Obviously I wasn't running. I was walking. Rather slowly in fact. And I figured you would want me to leave. After all, I am invading your personal space."

He crossed his arms and glared at me.

"So…what? You want me to stay here?" I asked.

When he still didn't respond, I huffed, trying to decide what to do. There wasn't really anything for me to do outside of this room. So I might as well just stay here. On the other hand, his bossy manner was starting to tick me off a little.

At any rate, I just sighed and went and sat on the bed. There was a long stretch of silence in which I simply sat and stared at him, and he stared back. That seemed to last for hours.

Eventually he stirred and asked, "Who the hell are you? Really? You're not from around here."

I sighed. "I told you. It's complicated."

"Tell me." He demanded, taking a few threatening steps in my direction.

"Well…Alright. But there isn't really any purpose to this. How should I explain it. I guess the only way that might make sense to you, is that I'm from…somewhere else? A different desert and a different Sand Village. I got stuck here thanks to a powerful jutsu. And now I just have to wait until the jutsu weakens, so I can go back home."

I shrugged.

He stared at me for a while. "I see."

"Do you?"

He shrugged. "It makes as much sense as having a monster stuck in you before you're even born."

"I suppose so." I snorted.

There was another long stretch of silence.

Eventually I sighed and just lay back on the bed, closing my eyes and deciding to take a nap, because apparently there wasn't anything else for me to do. That thought was brought to an abrupt, screeching halt when I felt Gaara's weight land next to me on the bed. I immediately went into high alert, though I forced myself to not stiffen up or anything.

After a moment I felt him lean towards me and I opened my eyes, glancing up at him. He had one knee on the bed next to me and was leaning over me in a distinctly threatening manner. But judging from his expression he was more curious than murderous, so I relaxed some. He was looking at me with something akin to bemusement, and he seemed utterly bewildered about what to do with me.

After a moment his eyes squinted, and I could see the curiosity brighten them in a semi-evil way. He'd obviously gotten some idea in that crazy head of his, and I wasn't entirely sure I was going to like it. His hand reached out, not fast or slow, just sort of a normal pace that I could easily block if I wanted to, and he placed his hand on my throat. He didn't squeeze or anything, but as soon as his grainy palm made contact with the skin of my throat his eyes flew up to meet mine and there was a certain calculation in their depths that told me he was testing me, probably to see how far he could push me. When I didn't react to his hand on my neck his eyes widened somewhat in shock and he got a slightly cockeyed expression of disbelief on his face.

"Why aren't you struggling or afraid? I could easily kill you, so why aren't you pulling away?" He asked, abruptly leaning closer to me, almost aggressive in his confusion.

I just shrugged. "You're not hurting me."

"And if I did hurt you?" He asked threateningly and his hand squeezed. Not enough to actually choke me, but enough that I definitely felt its presence as uncomfortable.

"Then I would tell you to stop."

"And if I didn't stop?" His hand squeezed tighter.

"Then I would stop you. And that is getting a little uncomfortable just so you know."

His eyes narrowed and his hand tightened painfully. That was enough, and since I couldn't actually talk, I didn't bother to ask him to, as I said I would, instead I just grabbed his wrist and dug my thumb in between the tendons there, giving it a good tug and glaring. When that still didn't warn him off I decided that he needed a little more persuasion, so I brought up both legs and wrapped them around his arm, planting my feet at his shoulder and shoving him off. As expected, his sand rushed to protect him from my feet, but I still shoved him off, sand and all. I wasn't trying to actually kick him or anything, just push him, so the sand was just something besides his flesh for me to push against.

Once his hand released my neck, I unwrapped my legs from around his arm and sat up on the bed, giving him a good stern look. "Like I said, I would stop you. And could you please not do that again? It's very unpleasant you know. Being choked isn't exactly comfortable."

His sand slithered back to the ground and he stood there, breathing heavily, his eyes wide and a little wild. "I wouldn't know. No-one's ever hurt me, so I don't know what pain feels like."

"Do you want to find out?" I asked pleasantly, not meaning it as a threat or anything, but as a simple question.

He cocked his head to the side and his eyes narrowed menacingly. "Are you threatening me?"

"No. I was just wondering if you were ever curious. If you wanted to know what pain felt like, I could hurt you, just a tiny small scratch. Nothing super painful."

He frowned. "You can't, nothing can hurt me."

"Actually, I know from experience that I can. Unless you're a lot tougher than... someone I know who's a lot like you. He even has the same sort of powers."

"He can manipulate sand?"

"I told you, I come from somewhere similar. But this person is different. He even used to be as angry as you, for similar reasons, but he grew out of it several years ago."

He cocked his head. "So you think you can hurt me?"

"Yes."

He slowly blinked and held out a hand, a curious expression on his face.

"Do you want me to?"

He just looked at me with a challenge. "I doubt you can."

I shrugged. I reached out and grabbed his hand, naturally his sand rushed in to protect him. I called a very strong wind to me, wrapping it first around my hand and then around both our hands, sweeping away his sand from his skin. My palm and fingers grabbed his hand now, skin to skin, and his eyes widened in shock as he jerked from surprise.

I simply dug my nails into his palm, hard enough to draw just a tiny bit of blood. He hissed and then grunted. I drew my hand back and he stared down at his slightly reddened palm.

"That's what a little pain feels like. It can be much worse of course, as you can imagine now."

His glazed eyes shifted from his scratched hand up to me and he stared at me for a long moment, completely silent.

"Pain…so this is what it feels like…" He murmured.

"So, you've really never felt pain before...that's just so incomprehensible. And if you're anything like this other person I told you about, you've never felt anything good either. That seems like such a strange existence to me."

"Good? What do you mean?"

I frowned. "Well…I'm not going to go there. But I guess… someone touching you in a nice way? Like stroking you hair or touching your skin in a way that felt pleasant?"

He just blinked at me. I sighed and said, "Okay. This is pointless, but come here."

His eyes narrowed but he came, slowly to stand in front of me.

"Close your eyes or they'll get dry from the wind that I might have to use to blow your sand away."

He didn't, so I just shrugged and reached up to touch his hair. I figured that would be the most bland thing I could do. His sand rushed over his head, as I expected, and I sighed, "I'm not going to hurt you, you know. Can't you move your sand?"

"It's not something I can control." He rumbled, his eyes sharpening just a smidge suspiciously.

"Alright, well, I'm going to blow it away, so I really would close your eyes if I were you."

He still didn't but he narrowed his eyes significantly, so I used a brisk wind, wrapping it around his head to blow the sand off and then once he was clear I wrapped a wind shield around us, a little further away from us so it wouldn't interfere but would still keep his sand off.

His eyes opened wide and he looked around, the sand going nutty outside the wind shield bubble surrounding us. It crawled up around us and formed a cocoon outside the shield, making it very dark all of a sudden.

"That's inconvenient." I mumbled.

"Why can't I call my sand to me?" He asked, sounding just a tad panicky, but also like he was getting a little mad.

"Oh calm down, I just wrapped us in a wind shield. Like I said, I'm not going to hurt you, so chill."

Though I couldn't see him in the sudden darkness brought on by the sand dome, I could feel him standing in front of me, vibrating with tension almost. I ignored the tension and lightly touched his head, working from the memory of his position. I felt the silky strands under my hand and felt him jerk as a small growl rumbled from his chest in warning.

"Relax would you? I'm just going to touch your hair. Sheesh." I sighed, exasperated.

I gently patted his head and then ran my fingers through his hair, petting him like a dog at first. He slowly relaxed in front of me.

"What are you doing?" He murmured, sounding dazed.

"I'm just stroking your hair. Good right?" I responded.

"Good…I…guess." He murmured, sounding almost like he was going to sleep.

After a while I threaded my fingers through his hair and gently tugged a little and then lightly scratched his scalp in a way I knew was pleasant based on personal experience. A small shocked sound came from him, and I chuckled. Even though I knew this was just a dream, I still found the experience greatly pleasurable.

"I told you I wasn't going to hurt you." I said softly as I reached up with my other hand to run both sets of fingers through the silky mess.

"People always want to hurt me. No one ever intends to touch me in any other way." He mumbled.

"Well, I suppose that's why your sand overreacted."

"Hm."

I chuckled and then sighed. "You sound just like him."

"This other person that's so similar to me?"

"Yeah."

"Are you friends?"

"We were, and still are. But we're a lot more than that."

"More than friends? What do you mean?" I felt his head cock to the side under my hands.

"Never mind. This conversation is awkward and unnecessary."

He grumbled something incomprehensible under his breath.

After that lovely awkward nonsense, I took my hands away from his head and asked, "So, if I let your sand in is it going to go nutty and bury us both?"

"No."

"Okay." I lowered the wind barrier and the sand shell cracked and sifted to the ground around us.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Huzzah! Another chapter! Hope everyone enjoys. :3


	84. Burn With Me: Chapter 69

Despite Psycho Gaara seeming to have been temporarily tamed, it was obvious that he was far from being truly domestic. Later that day when I wandered out to get some food, my dream stomach demanding dream food, I quickly discovered that this new red-head had quite the temper. I had taken a nap and woken up to find him gone, so I decided to go out to find some food at that point.

I was meandering the streets with some food that I lazily ate, not really sure what I was supposed to do exactly, when suddenly I heard an ominous hissing noise. That was all the warning I had before sand wrapped around my body and nearly squeezed the life out of me right then and there. I squeaked and then wheezed as my ribs were rudely compressed.

I was lifted and turned around, until I was floating and staring down at a very pissed off Gaara.

"What the hell Gaara? You're squishing me! Stop it or I'll have to smack you." I yelped.

He just growled, apparently intensely displeased that I had left.

He nearly had me in a Sand Coffin Jutsu at this point, and there was absolutely no way I was getting any wind underneath the tightly compressed sand, so I had to resort to popping out a tail and electrifying the sand off of me. I groaned as the spines and tail emerged more swiftly than I usually liked. Naturally that also shocked me a little and I landed somewhat clumsily, coughing and sparking every which way.

"Could you please not do that?!" I wheezed, one hand bracing my poor bruised ribs as I knelt on the ground, my clothes faintly smoking and random crackles of blue lightning still zipping up and down my back and tail.

He ignored me, his pale eyes pinned to the tail behind me. He seemed to have been knocked out of his psycho rage from the shock of seeing me with a tail, and I took the brief lapse in his aggressive focus as an opportunity to stand, wincing as I did so. Apparently the curiosity was too great for him and before I knew what had hit me, he had grabbed my tail with a coil of sand and immobilized the rest of me while he disappeared in a puff of sand, only to reappear behind me.

I easily neutralized the sand with sparks from my tail, and turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. "You could have just asked to get a closer look. You didn't have to grab me." I grumbled at him, putting my hands on my hips.

He gave me a look.

"Oh whatever." I sighed and gave up on him.

He cocked his head to the side and leaned in to peer more closely at my tail, with an intensity that was beginning to make me a little uneasy. And then he did something stupid. He reached out and grabbed my tail, which I certainly wasn't expecting, and it shocked me so much that I jerked and sparked, which had him yanking his hand back with an oath.

"Don't just go grabbing other people's tails! Especially not mine, at least not without warning me first! I can't exactly control the lightning very well. Hold on…Geez…" Just to be safe I closed up the diamond tip and capped off all my electricity. "There, no more lightning. But seriously…"

I didn't have a chance to finish what I was saying because he was once again handling my tail, and that almost made me bite my tongue. My tail was very sensitive, after all it was basically my spine wrapped in a tiny bit of flesh, and all those nerves coming out of my spine made it extremely sensitive. No one had ever handled it like this before, and if they'd tried I probably would have intentionally zapped them, except for Gaara of course. And for a good reason, the sensitivity of my tail was similar in spectrum to only a few other parts of my body, all of which were off limits to everyone except Gaara.

Strangely, when I used it in battle, I didn't mind whacking people with it, or even detaining them with it, but it was totally different to have someone wrap their fingers around it when not in a battle situation. It was almost….well…weirdly sexual…and I wasn't entirely sure I was okay with this other Gaara messing with me like that. But I decided to put up with it for a moment, just out of curiosity to see what the hell he was thinking.

My already crazy train of thought was further derailed quite abruptly by the spark of chakra in my mind that originated from Gaara's and my mental connection.

 _I didn't know your tail was sensitive…like that._

I jerked in surprise at the thought sent from the Real Gaara, and then I frowned and flushed, a little embarrassed at him catching me in such a compromising position. _Are you listening in again?_

There was a long pause. _Obviously._

I snorted. _Guess so…_

 _So…is it really…that sensitive?_

 _My tail?_ I asked hesitantly, a little uncomfortable with this conversation.

 _Yes._

 _Well…yeah…_

 _Interesting…_ The tone of his mind troubled me, he sounded a lot like he was filing that nugget of knowledge away for further use.

 _Don't be getting any bright ideas…_

 _I don't know what you mean._

 **Gaara POV**

He was pulled out of his own dream by the sensation of Real Ren battling in her dream. Immediately concerned, he zoned out of the breakfast scene in his own dream, his fake daughter and fake wife arguing over whether to have pancakes or cereal for breakfast. As cute as that was, he was much more interested in the health and well-being of HIS Ren and as he tuned into her via their shared connection and sensed that she was tightly constricted and about to be crushed by sand, he nearly swallowed his own tongue in fear.

Thankfully she neatly managed to get out of it, even before he had managed to stop choking on himself, and he relaxed, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He continued tuning in, and was greatly relieved to sense his fake self over there calm the fuck down and get more curious with Ren. He blinked at the sensations he got from her when the other Gaara grabbed up her tail, shocked by how sensitive it apparently was. He had never personally bothered to touch her tail, though it had greatly fascinated him, because he always felt that it would be rude somehow.

With her reaction he suddenly realized that maybe he _should_ have been a little more hands on with the appendage. She appeared to actually like having it messed with, though her discomfort at having the fake Gaara touching it was plain for him to feel. He could completely relate, still feeling mildly guilty about the goodnight kiss with his fake wife and the good-morning kiss he had given her only a few minutes ago.

When he questioned Ren about the tail thing, she seemed a tad embarrassed about the whole situation, and told him to not get any bright ideas after he had finally managed to get an answer from her about her tail's sensitivity.

 _I don't know what you mean…_ He thought back to her, while Shukaku started snickering inside his mind.

 _ **Oh yeah, sure you don't…It's not like you were thinking about playing with that sexy tail of hers before humping her or anything now were you…?**_

He huffed, as always infuriated at Shukaku's crude interpretations of his mental workings, which were always disturbingly accurate. At that, he refocused on his dream and could feel Ren doing the same. All the while, he continued to ignore the Tanuki in his head still laughing and making crude jokes.

 **Ren POV**

I was forced to pay attention to Dream Gaara again when I was abruptly reminded of the situation, as he shifted his grip on my tail. He was surprisingly gentle at first, just holding it and then sliding his hand down to above the diamond tip and lifting it up to look at more closely. I shuddered as his hand slid down, but he didn't notice thankfully, or else he just ignored me.

"This is actually flesh." He finally noted aloud.

"Yeah…why?"

"When I grow a tail it's made of sand, so I expected yours to be made of wind." He muttered, still looking at it closely.

"Different kind of animal inside of me."

"Hm." There was a long pause.

After a while I started fidgeting, the sensation of his messing with my tail beginning to be…uncomfortable. I wasn't really happy about how strangely arousing this was turning out to be, and certainly not with _this_ Gaara. "Are you done? It feels very strange to have someone touching my tail. I've never let anyone do that before."

"Does it hurt?"

"No. It's just weird. Imagine if your spine went out your butt and then someone fiddled with it. Your spine isn't exactly something you can grab like that usually."

I was shocked when a deep chuckle sputtered in his chest, much louder than my Gaara let himself laugh. And I could see why, the deep laugh sounded slightly diabolical. I probably liked it too much.

After a moment he asked, "Why scales?"

"Hm?" I glanced back at the silvery scales that emerged from the black fur near the silver diamond tip and followed a thin strait line, connecting the tiny delicate spines on the top of my tail. "Oh. That's because my creature is part dragon. She has scales on her wings too, and a very thin stripe up her back, connecting these spines. But other than that she has black fur." I reached back and touched the thin spines now emerging from my back.

To my shock, Gaara slid his hand back up my tail a bit and then reached with his other hand to grab a fistful of my shirt hem, which he then pulled up, looking at the line of silver scales that also showed up on my skin between the slender spines emerging from my vertebrae. I was very glad that we were in a secluded small back road and alone for now.

"You sure are touchy feely." I noted, finding it odd since my Gaara hadn't been comfortable touching me for a long time to start with, and he still didn't really touch other people.

"You're the only person that I can touch. I find it fascinating." He said almost absentmindedly as he squinted at my back. And then he put words to action, hooking my shirt up over one of my spines and poking me between two spines with a finger, feeling the scales there. Once again, I was shocked by how sensitive my changed flesh was, as I discovered for the first time that the scales and spines on my back were actually quite receptive to touch.

"The scales feel different than skin." He noted, almost sounding surprised.

"That's because it's not skin." I said, kind of dead pan and trying not to laugh at the odd comment, while still trying not to shiver at the feeling of his surprisingly delicate touches on my back.

He huffed.

After a moment he let me go and I fixed my shirt. I retracted my tail and spines, grunting and wincing as I did so. As always the retraction was exceptionally unpleasant, and left holes in my shirt and pants. _Wonderful._ I also felt the distinct warm, sticky sensation that the new wounds left behind, and I knew I needed to go ahead and grab some bandages. They would heal up quickly, but it was always a good idea to keep them bandaged for the few hours it would take for them to heal completely, just to make sure I didn't get an infection.

So with that in mind I headed off to find a place I could buy medical supplies, Gaara stalking behind me as I expected. I grabbed the bandages and paid, heading out. Gaara eyeballed the supplies I had bought with some curiosity, as we headed back to what I assumed was his apartment. Considering his reaction to me leaving his apartment, I assumed he wanted me to stay with him for the time being, so I didn't hesitate to head in that direction.

Once we reached his front door, I walked inside without any hesitancy and he followed me, the door shutting behind him. He lingered there, arms crossed and watching me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"You came back."

I turned and frowned at him. "What do you mean? Did you not want me to? I can leave if you want."

"No!" He barked harshly and some of his sand thrashed around him in agitation.

I raised my eyebrows at the sharp vocalization. "Oookay…well, then what's the problem?"

"I didn't expect you would come willingly."

"Oh so you were going to drag me back by my toenails or something?" I asked jokingly, but at his blank stare I realized that _that_ was probably exactly what he had been planning on doing. "Why? Why are you so…possessive? You don't even know me." I was truly curious why he seemed to be so intensely eager to have me in his space.

He stared at me in that creepy non-blinking way of his for a long time before he said, "You are mine. You fascinate me, so I want to keep you." His voice deepened and darkened with a hint of insanity.

"Right. I'm not exactly a pet you know…" At his silent gaze I blew out a breath of air and shook my head. "Whatever."

I walked over to the bed and laid down my supplies. "So I fascinate you huh?" I said, as I took off my shirt, facing away from him. "How so exactly?" I asked as I took the bandages and unwrapped some to put on the wounds on my back. I could feel a trickle of warm liquid down my spine, from all of the round holes in my skin that had been ripped by the sharp spines, and the matching sensation of blood dripping down over my butt and thighs from the larger hole at the base of my spine. That was always the kicker, but at least the flesh had already healed over the bone, so I didn't have to worry about exposed spinal bits. That was only for a few minutes, and generally healed before I ever got to bandage them, but it was always unnerving to know it was going on.

As soon as my shirt was off I heard a violent hissing come from behind me and partially turned. I was wearing my breast band of course, so I wasn't feeling self-conscious at all, plus it was difficult to feel self-conscious around even this version of Gaara. That changed when I looked back and saw his brightly lit wide eyes, the slightly psycho glint in them a tad worrisome, and his flared nostrils as if he was taking in my scent. I hoped I hadn't set him off with the sight and smell of my blood.

I didn't have long to find out.

No sooner had I turned at the sound of his sharp inhale, than a deep growl rumbled out of his chest and he had me by the neck. He had moved so fast that I hardly knew what happened. One moment he was several feet away, and the next he was pressed up against my back with his hand on the front of my throat and the other hand swiftly capturing both wrists, probably with the assistance of his sand, and had them behind my back and in an iron, almost painfully tight grip.

I made a sound between a yelp, bark, and some sort of cuss word that certainly wasn't understandable. Meanwhile, Kitty perked up and payed attention, but she didn't seem displeased by any means.

 _ **Ooohh, well now, things finally are getting interesting!**_ I just rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm.

Psycho Gaara buried his nose at the back of my neck, near the top of my spine and the first small dot of blood from the first tiny spine that had left a hole in my skin. I held very still, realizing that if I struggled, I could truly set him off, and he was so unpredictable right now that he really could seriously injure me, and I honestly didn't know if that would translate outside of the dream.

I wasn't surprised when I sensed the connection with the Real Gaara flare with chakra once again, as he picked up on my distress.

 _Ren! What's going on this time?_

 _Ehm…well…not really sure exactly. He seems to have been set off by my blood._

 _Fuck…_ He cussed and then after a brief pause continued his train of thought. _He's exceptionally active today._

 _Yeah, no shit._ I thought back, but then I was utterly distracted by the fake Gaara's next action.

I winced a little when I felt the warm wetness of his tongue on the sore spot there at the top of my neck, and it didn't particularly feel good since his tongue was rough like a cat's. Even so, I put up with it, and hoped he would snap out of it soon enough

There was a long pause and then MY Gaara's next stuttered thought was, _What is…is he…licking you?!_

 _Ummmm…it appears that way…_ I managed to think back, even through the continued rough raspy sensation of dream Gaara's tongue abraded the tiny wound.

 _ **Awwww … that's so sweet … he's licking your wounds …**_ was Kitty's input. Neither Real Gaara or I fully agreed with her.

 _I don't really think it's a sweet thing, I think it's more of a 'psychotic pleasure at the taste of my blood' sort of thing …_ was my take of the proceedings.

 _I have to agree with Ren. Although … it could actually partially be the other. In that state, I was driven by animal instincts, so if I had perceived that my "pet" was wounded, I might have been persuaded to lick her wounds…_ Gaara pondered, almost as if to himself.

Whatever the case, I couldn't help but be unnerved by the proceedings, unexpected as they were, and perhaps even a bit frightened, but I did my best to curb those emotions. Dream Gaara continued to methodically work his way from one wound to the next, down in a straight line, and I did my best not to wince or flinch as his rough tongue abraded the raw skin. But once he got to the somewhat deeper, slightly larger wounds further down my spine I seriously considered protesting.

Once he got too low to properly restrain me, his hand shifted with lightning speed on my neck, switching from the front to the back, grabbing a fistful of hair and wrapping his wrist in my ponytail for good measure. Then, he shoved me face-first down into the bed right in front of us, bending me at the waist while he braced his weight on his hand still pinning my wrists to my back. The position tugged at my wounds, and made it all the more unpleasant. I had a little trouble breathing so I had to turn my head to the side, as much as he would let me, which cramped up my neck.

After a moment I sighed and said, "Um…this is a tad uncomfortable…and your tongue is kinda rough you know…so it sort of hurts…"

His mouth paused on my skin, and a deep growl rumbled out of his chest.

"Okay…I take it you don't want to stop…but could I at least lie down?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as monotone as possible.

I could feel Real Gaara watching me with some astonishment and bemusement.

Another growl escaped Fake Gaara, but this one was more of a grumble, and he pulled back a little and loosened his grip on my head and wrists, just enough to let one hand go. I took that as a sign that he was going to let me get comfortable at least, so I clambered onto the bed and laid down face first, using the one free hand to cushion my head and cheek. He followed of course, and ended up kneeling over me, still holding that one wrist, which he pinned to the bed.

I tried to just relax and let him do his thing, whatever that thing was, even though it did still hurt some. I did notice that after a while his tongue slowly grew less rough and felt more like a human tongue, which didn't hurt nearly as much. Thankfully he didn't go below my pants line, because I probably would have fought him on that one. To be honest, I didn't know why I wasn't fighting him about the other stuff. I guessed that my comfort with my Gaara had translated over to this Gaara somewhat, and even though it was unpleasant, it was also strangely intimate, and my instincts all told me to just lay still and let him lick me.

 _ **It's also an animal thing. Your instincts are telling you he's your mate. Even though you consciously know it's a dream, your body doesn't. The whole licking your blood thing? It's primal. He might not be licking your wounds for a healing purpose, but it's still a way of claiming you, and the animal part of you that I woke up is telling you to let him claim you.**_

 _Wonderful._ I mentally sighed at Kitty's lecture…learning all kinds of new and interesting things about myself. The treatment, or claiming, or whatever the hell it was, continued on for a good long while. I'd almost zoned out by the end, as his tongue softened and the pain became ignorable, and so I was shocked when I was suddenly flipped over.

I stared up at him in confusion and asked, "So…you done?"

He stared down at me, his non-brows deeply furrowed and confusion written all over his face. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you so different from everyone else?"

"You're going to have to be more specific than that." I said pleasantly, blinking up at him.

"I could have killed you! I nearly did! And you just…just…let me!" He almost shouted, wild-eyed and sputtering in furious exasperated confusion.

"I wasn't going to let you kill me. I did let you lick the blood off my wounds. Is that what you meant?"

He sat there, his breath sawing in and out of his chest, one eye narrowed and the other wide in a seriously cockeyed, slightly insane, evil stare that said I needed to give him answers right now or he was going to start strangling me out of pure frustration.

"Yessss. That's what I meant." He hissed dangerously, leaning over me and planting his hands on either side of my head, boxing me in and invading my personal space in a very threatening manner.

I flinched, just a little, and his eyes narrowed slightly. I took a deep fortifying breath and said, "Ehm…well, I let you do that because I knew if I struggled you would probably react badly. And frankly, despite being somewhat uncomfortable and a little painful, it didn't bother me that much."

 _And that's probably due to this being a dream and not real, and the real Gaara is my lover so I'm used to having his mouth all over my body, and apparently I have freaky animalistic claiming instincts of some sort surging through my body because it thinks you're my mate._ But I didn't say any of that.

He blinked down at me, thoroughly befuddled. "I don't understand you at all." He grumbled, leaning in closer, almost nose to nose with me now and glaring into my eyes for answers. The proximity with this other Gaara was a bit disconcerting. These intimate situations gave me a strange feeling, almost a little guilty as if I was cheating on Gaara, even if it was a dream version of Gaara, which made no damn sense.

After a while he got off me and left the room without saying anything more. Apparently I had managed to confuse him as thoroughly as I had done to myself. I exhaled heavily, unsure how long I was going to be able to handle this crazy-ass dream.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Hello everyone, sorry for the wait (again). Blerg.

Eventually, this chapter will probably be combined with the previous. Just in case you were wondering why it's so short in comparison to the recent chapters.

We're actually getting pretty close to the end here, just one more big plot twist to go!


	85. Burn With Me: Chapter 70 & 71

The dream grew somewhat repetitive, no less interesting, but I began to grow more and more anxious to get back to real life and my Gaara.

I drifted in and out of that dream for some time. Occasionally I would feel the hold of the Tsukuyomi lapse a little and could almost surface, becoming semi-aware of the true environments around my real body, and how I was still lying in that sand bubble practically on top of Gaara now, but then I would get snapped right back up after a moment. After drifting in and out of dreams for what seemed like forever, slowly I finally came to as the genjutsu that had held us all in thrall was broken.

I was in darkness, and momentarily disoriented, which led to me sitting up and putting my elbow into Gaara's chest in the process. He yelped and coughed and I abruptly removed my elbow from his person, which dropped me right back on top of Gaara. This all set us into motion and soon we were a tangle of limbs as we tried to figure out what the hell was going on, what was up, what was down, and who's knee was currently shoved where. I managed to poke Gaara in the eye with a finger and he managed to jab me with a knee and clonk me on the head with his jaw before we both fully woke up and realized that flailing around wasn't the best option at the moment.

We stilled almost at the same time, panting and out of breath, and still very confused.

"What the…Okay…Um…What's going on? Where are we…Oh wait, wait, wait. I know where we are, but does this mean the Tsukuyomi is broken?"

"Apparently." He mumbled, his throat vibrating my forehead, where my face had landed.

"Excellent. That dream was interesting, but it's good to be back in the real world."

"Agreed."

"Now what?" I asked after a pause, truly bemused and still a little fuzzy in the head.

 _ **Now, I think I'd better get sealed again. Being split in half like this is very disconcerting you know. And I'm almost out of chakra, the Tsukuyomi almost completely drained me.**_

"Oh. Right. Shukaku. Thank you for protecting us." I said sincerely, and then added. "Remember what we talked about though, if you pop out every other night you better be polite."

He chuckled and there was a weird shifting as the chakra signature changed in the sand cocoon around us. It changed from being Shukaku, to being Gaara's sand shell, and I felt Shukaku's chakra slide in between me and Gaara, heating up the space between our bodies insanely for a few seconds as he squirmed back inside of his host.

Gaara choked and then grunted at the unexpected intrusion, but it was over quickly, leaving Gaara panting but ultimately unharmed. His chakra fluctuated wildly for a second, making him moan and curl into a ball around me.

"You okay?" I asked, worried about the way his chakra was dropping and surging all over the place.

"Dizzy." He mumbled against the top of my head.

That seemed to pass quickly too, thankfully, and didn't seem to have caused any leftover damage. After a long moment the sand shield cracked around us and then sifted away, leaving us in a very loose net. It was extremely awkward and took both of us sawing at it with Kunai knives for a few minutes before we tumbled free. It was incredibly difficult to cut the net without cutting each other, and then once we tumbled out we had to be careful not to accidentally land on the blade since it was such an ungraceful and abrupt fall.

We were surprisingly pretty high up and landed hard on the ground in a tangle of limbs. Thankfully we managed to not stab each other to death, although I did poke myself a little. We untangled and looked around to see a bunch of white cocoons like what we had just been in, and they seemed to just be stirring, as everyone slowly woke up. We obviously were the first up and out, probably because Shukaku had buffered us from the full effects of the Tsukuyomi.

We met up with Naruto and Sasuke, who had defeated Madara and ended the Tsukuyomi, and after a brief conversation set off to help everyone else. Naturally the next order of business was to run around and free everyone. As people were freed and woke up, they too assisted in the freeing of people, and after a while the cocoons seemed to disintegrate on their own, freeing massive amounts of people all at once. I was relieved, because it would have been impossible to go around and free everyone. Well…Maybe not impossible, but it would have taken a while.

And then, amidst the confusion and hecticness of falling people, the Allied Shinobi Forces slowly realized that the war was won and a great cheer rose into the air, growing louder and louder as more people were released and realized what was going on. It was magnificent and after cheering myself, even hopping up and down in a rare show of excitement, I sat down and stared up at the sky with a silly stupid grin on my face, almost about to pass out from sheer disbelief and joy.

Gaara stood next to me, his arms crossed, and his face composed as was usual for him, but I knew he was experiencing as much joy and relief as me. Of course as the Kazekage he was supposed to show a little more dignity, and then again, that was just the way Gaara was.

The twins and my adoptive mother and aunt rushed over and nearly swamped me in hugs and kisses as we all laughed and cried together, relieved that at least we had made it. En masse, we all started to move back down the routes that had been traveled by all the armies, and as we all started regrouping, meeting up with the other battalions, the level of noise increased as friends were found, lovers and families were reunited, and there was much laughter and tears all around us.

We eventually came upon Temari, who launched herself at Gaara, nearly knocking him over with her enthusiasm. He sputtered and his eyes popped open wide with shock, and I burst into delighted laughter at his shock-face. I nearly choked on my own laughter when she detached from him and tackled me. I coughed and then returned her embrace enthusiastically, truly happy and relieved to see that she was also safe and sound. Kankuro soon made an appearance as well, and grappled us both as well, causing another funny expression to contort Gaara's face. When we rejoined Matsuri she even hugged Gaara, briefly, before detaching herself and blushing madly. I could only laugh, not even disturbed by her hugging him.

As we continued on, we met up with other friends along the way, friends from the Leaf Village, the Cloud Village, all the villages really. Everyone had grown much closer, and now we all had friends practically in all the villages the world over. Being thrust into these dangerous situations had forced us to form bonds between villages, and that assured me that another war would be a long ways off.

We eventually all reconvened at the Village Hidden in the Clouds, which had been home base and had been hit hard by one of the nasty beast bombs sent out by that monster. Even so, amidst the rubble, we all grouped and celebrated victory, and treated our wounded, and mourned our dead. It was a very mixed feeling situation. We all hung around there for several days, and then the different villages set off for home.

The entirety of the Sand Village shinobi trudged back to Suna, led by the Kazekage and eager to get back to home, to families, and to friends. It was a long and arduous journey, particularly for the still wounded ninja among us, but eventually we were cresting the last sand dune, and were greeted by the sight of our tall sandy walls. A great cheer rose from the village as they caught sight of us, and we saw a flood of people running towards us from across the sand. Mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, and friends, all ran across the sand, eagerly searching for their loved ones among us.

It got a little chaotic, cries of joy sounding through the air as loved ones were reunited. There was laughter and joy, and yet I also heard the calls of sorrow, as someone found the name of the person they were looking for on one of the caskets that were being carried. We had brought all our dead home with us, as many as we had been able to find. More than once I saw someone running by me, hope etched into their face, only to pass by me again later, fear tainting their eyes as they looked towards the caskets. The crowd slowly continued to move towards the village, reunited families grouping together and now walking side by side back home.

I saw many things that made my heart nearly burst with joy, like a little girl that ran and threw her arms around her father's neck, both laughing and crying at the same time. The father went down on his knees and grabbed her up, lifting her into his arms and swinging her around, bellowing that he told her he would return. I saw a man, obviously a civilian, a flour covered apron tied around his neck and waist, as he found his Kunoichi wife. She shied away from him, covering half of her face, which was badly burned now, an ugly scar marring her features. He grabbed her to him and gently kissed her face, as tears streamed from both their eyes.

And yet I also saw things that made me want to weep with sadness. A young boy ran up to his father, only to cringe away from him and cry, to see his arm gone. The intense sadness in the man's eyes as he watched his young son run from him broke my heart. I sighed, and then a tiny little boy and his puppy barreled past Gaara and me, nearly tripping both of us in one fell swoop, as he shouted gleefully "Daddy, Mommy!" I turned to grin at Gaara and he smiled gently back.

It was good to be home.

And then the twins, who were straggling along beside me, Kaoru supporting Hikaru and helping him along, were accosted by their grandmother, Lady Hitachiin. Of course she already knew about the death of their father, as well connected as she was, she always seemed to know things before anyone else. Granny Hitachiin leapt forward and grabbed them up in a big hug, which was something I never thought she would do. She was gruff, and sort of like Lady Chiyo, tough as nails. But no, she scooped them both up and kissed them on the cheeks, a few tears visible in her eyes. Both twins yelped identically and then relaxed into the embrace, hugging her back.

I grinned, my heart swelling as I watched my family reunite. Then she grabbed Aunt Kira and my adoptive mother in a big hug, sobbing her eyes out. And then she turned to me, tears still brimming in her bright gold eyes, and she grabbed me in a hug as well. I yelped, very similar to the way the twins had, totally taken aback. I felt the others of the clan coming around us, a few cousins, my mother, and my aunt, gathering around with the twins as they all hugged. She grabbed my face, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "My darling granddaughter, you may have been adopted into the family, but you are absolutely Hitachiin. I heard what you did on the battlefield, saving your brothers, mother, and aunt like you did. I couldn't be prouder of you!"

I sputtered and teared up myself.

The Hitachiins gathered around and joined us on our journey back into the village.

After everyone had returned home there was the business of all the burials to take care of, the hospitals took in all the injured, and there was a huge celebration to welcome everyone home. Which was great, except that all I wanted to do was collapse onto our bed, in our apartment, and I hadn't even realized that I'd started thinking of it as _ours_ instead of Gaara's.

Nevertheless, as the Kazekage and his body guard we were required to attend. The twins dressed me up all pretty, putting me in a pale gold/yellow dress, high-necked, sleeveless, and with two slits up both sides to my hips. I wore dark purple, almost black tights underneath, and gold strappy sandals. Since my hair had grown out some, they let it down, my ponytail undone for the first time in a long time, giving me a full layer of hair all the way down to my thighs, which they curled at the ends and made silky and shiny.

After all their fussing and messing with me in my apartments I walked out, still rubbing my ears from where they'd forced another piercing on me, four little crystal droplets now dangling from them. That gave me two in each ear now.

I met Gaara in the hallway, his nicer red coat on. I was starting to recognize it, from the lack of scars and stains and dirt. It was a brighter red too, the one he used on a daily basis had grown darker with use, a rusty dark blood red, while this one was still a lovely dark shade of bright crimson. He was also lacking his gourd and the paraphernalia that went with it.

His eyes slid over me, an appreciative gleam in them. "You look lovely." He murmured, and I flushed, pleased.

"You too." I murmured. Except someone had slicked his hair down to his head and I immediately disapproved.

As we made our way out of the hall I asked, "So…did you choose to do that to your hair, or did someone do it to you?"

"Temari."

"Ah. I see. And do you like it?"

"No."

"Good. Me neither." And I promptly ran my fingers through it, breaking the gel she had put in it and making it all spiky again.

He smirked, said nothing, and simply let me do it.

We made our way down the stairs and joined the party. Gaara was immediately besieged by girls, and not just fangirls this time either, but lovely young ladies from rich families that obviously wanted to court him in a more serious way than his fangirls. I stayed by his side, as was my duty, or so I told myself. Quite often, there were some girls from wealthy, well-known families, and their parents too that came up to sweet talk him, ignoring me. Which was what they were supposed to do, I was his bodyguard after all.

It drove me nuts.

During the celebration, there was food, and drink, and alcohol, and lots and lots of women flocking around Gaara, and music, and dancing, and singing, and even more women flocking around Gaara, and tempers, and at the end there were firecrackers.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Okay, first of all, I have not read the end of the big war, so I know it's probably not canon.

Second, Gaara's slicked back hair was a reference to the pictures I've seen of him, where apparently later on in life he wears his hair combed back, and I disapprove. So I decided to nip it in the bud early.

Third, yes, it's all a little rushed. To be honest, I was sick of the war and wanted to get them back home, so I decided to sort of skim over all the details and just get it done.

On to the next chapter!

* * *

 **Chapter 71**

After the party was finally over we retired to our room, both of us exhausted, and needing to sleep. I groaned as we closed the door. "I don't know about you, but I think I'm going to take a bath tonight instead of a shower. A good long soak might be nice."

"That does sound nice." He murmured, his eyes sliding over to me. I missed the look in them as I went into the bathroom. I slid my dress over my head, took off my pants, and started up the huge tub set into the ground, running the water till it was hot and then stopping up the drain to let it fill. As steam packed the room, I did my best to try to get all the makeup off my face. I was mostly successful.

As I sunk into the steaming hot water I hissed and then groaned, my muscles relaxing for what felt like the first time in ages. I turned off the tap once it was up to my shoulders and then lay back, sinking into the hot water up to my chin. My eyes opened just a smidge when I heard the door open and shut, admitting Gaara into the space, and I watched him lazily as he also took off his clothes and walked towards the sunken tub. It was a really big tub, so he had no problem getting in with me.

He slid in behind me, parking himself on the bench that ran around the edges of the tub, a deeper standing portion in the middle, and I ended up sitting on his lap. I leaned back against his chest and sighed, totally relaxed and happy now. I still couldn't believe the war was over and we'd both made it back safely.

"I can't believe we both made it back…" I murmured, feeling almost overwhelmed by the intense surge of abrupt emotion clogging my chest as it rose up within me. The busyness of the end of the war had actually strangely prevented me from truly acknowledging that it was over and we were finally safe. There had been so many moments of terror, where I had been afraid we were going to die, it left me feeling shaky and weak to remember and realize that we survived. It still hadn't really absorbed into my mind.

I couldn't help the tremor that worked through my body in response to the intense emotions, and Gaara's arms tightened around me and his head came down over my shoulder so he could nuzzle into my ear and ask, "What's wrong?"

I made the strangest sound, a mix between a laugh and a sob as I started to cry, or maybe I was laughing with tears running down my face, it was such a confusing mess of emotions I couldn't help the ridiculous reaction. Gaara stiffened and I found myself being shifted, picked up and turned around so I was straddling his lap instead.

He tried to get a good look at me, but I buried my face in his chest and mumbled, "I'm so silly! It's like I'm only just realizing that we're out of danger, and we both made it…and I'm not going to lose you."

 **Gaara POV**

At first as Ren started to sob he became worried, a spark of panic making him tense and spin her around so he could get a look at her. But at her mumbled explanation he relaxed and wrapped his arms tightly around her in response. He rested his forehead on the top of her head and listened to the slightly confusing sounds coming out of her chest. He understood where they were coming from, because now that the sentiment had been verbally expressed, he suddenly found himself feeling something probably similar, though he resisted sobbing like she was. A few tears did leak out of his eyes though as he hugged her to him, the immensity of emotion in his chest almost choking him as it seemingly rose up and into his throat.

It truly was a miracle that they had survived. Both of them had received what should have been fatal wounds, Ren on more than one occasion, and as he thought about how many ways he could have lost her, he too shuddered. She had nearly been fried with a bolt of lightning, had been squashed flat and had surgery on the battlefield, she could have been burned alive or killed any number of ways when she was fighting Madara, that rock in her shoulder could have killed her, it was amazing that she had survived.

Struck by posthumous fear he gripped her tightly and then desperately turned her face up so he could kiss her. She resisted a moment, obviously not fond of him seeing her when she was crying, but he firmly insisted with a hand tucked under her chin and a hand tugging on her hair and she complied. He crushed his lips to hers with an urgency that had nothing to do with where they currently were, the bath being quite relaxing in actuality.

As his mouth landed on hers a sound came out of her throat, another sort of choked off laugh with a sob thrown in and it ended in a sigh and a moan as her lips parted and she let him deepen the kiss. He took immediate possession of the inside of her mouth with his tongue, wanting to feel her as much as he possible could and needing to somehow get as close to her as possible. He desperately needed to be inside of her, and not in just _that_ way. He had the distinct urge to embrace her and do his very best to crawl up inside her and possess her as fully as possible, wanting to crush her to him until they were one person. His need was nearly violent, but he curbed his desires through sheer force of will, not wanting to hurt her in his urgency.

All exhaustion was wiped from his body as his mind refocused on one thing, and he grabbed hold of her, shifting his hands from her back to under her thighs and then he stood, startling a squeal out of her with the abrupt motion. She immediately wrapped her legs around him in response and he stepped out of the tub carefully so as to not drop her or fall. On the way out of the bathroom he snagged a couple of towels with a coil of sand.

 **Ren POV**

I was taken completely by surprise with the sudden assault, but was immediately consumed by the passion Gaara ignited inside of me with the spontaneous burning kiss. As he carried us into the bedroom dripping wet, I clung to him and my mind shifted from wherever crazy place it had gone before to a place heated with sex and lust and desperate love and crazy relief. The strong emotions from before didn't entirely leave me, and the immense joy and relief and realization that we were both alive and the giddiness all contributed to making the passion burn brighter and more intense. I suddenly needed to be with Gaara, in the way we had only been once before, although frankly any way would be good right now.

* * *

 **Lemon Warning: Lemons Ahoy**

* * *

Before we got to the bed he released his hold on my legs and I took the cue to drop to my feet in front of him. He wrapped a towel around my shoulders and rubbed his hands over my back to dry me while ducking his head down and kissing my chest. I gasped as he licked my breasts and dug my fingers into his hair, arching into the caress. After a moment he relented and I whimpered when his mouth left my nipples and he kissed back up my neck.

After another scorching kiss of his mouth on mine we separated briefly and dried off very quickly, before falling into bed. Amidst the kisses and caresses I somehow remembered the pill I needed to take to prevent pregnancy and separated from him, gasping out something along the lines of,"…pill…need to take…don't want to get pregnant…"

He huffed and let me go, but only to a certain extent. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the pill, swallowing it dry, all while practically fighting against Gaara who was still wrapped around me and kissing my neck, shoulders, chest, stomach, basically anything he could get to. After taking the pill he grabbed my head and pulled me back into his kiss. I relaxed and moaned into his mouth, wrapping my arms around his neck and getting caught up in the growing passion between us. It wasn't long before we were moving against each other in ways that mimicked what was about to happen.

His mouth descended again and he laved my breasts with his tongue as his hand slid from where it had been next to my hip, over and down between my legs. I gasped and jerked as his fingers touched me, parting the folds and apparently testing the wetness, because they were quickly retracted again. The narrow tips of his fingers were replaced with the much larger, more blunt tip of his dick as he pressed it against me and moved his mouth back up to whisper in my ear, "…may I?"

I groaned as the tip dipped in just a little and gasped, "Yes, please do!"

He didn't need any more encouragement and since he had already lined himself up carefully he was able to enter me in a single powerful thrust. I cried out, partly in surprise at the swift entry which was so at odds with the time before, and partly in pleasure. It was still a tad uncomfortable. It was still certainly too tight a fit and I could feel myself stretching in not the most comfortable of ways, but it wasn't painful this time around, and it felt good enough that the discomfort was mostly forgotten. The sensation was still overwhelming, and it still took me a second to catch my breath and adjust, or it would have if Gaara had given me a second to adjust.

As it was, the fast start was followed by his withdrawing and then thrusting again into me almost immediately, causing another loud sound to come from me as I was surprised yet again. I gasped and wrapped my legs around his hips, working on getting myself to relax a bit around his girth, but finding that the intense pleasure that accompanied the strokes of his skin against mine internally was overriding all thought and most body responses, to the point that I couldn't really control the way I bucked up into him, or the way my muscles clenched and spasmed inside around him.

 **Gaara POV**

He immediately lost control as he entered her, not that he had been holding onto his control all that tightly to start with. He was glad at least that she didn't seem to be in any pain, and actually responded quite intensely with sounds and motions that told him she was thoroughly enjoying the sensation of him inside of her. Naturally her reactions only ramped up his desire another few notches and he couldn't prevent himself from bucking into her almost harshly a few times before he managed to slow himself down somewhat.

The intense sensation was enough to drive him mad, but he attempted to smooth out his motions a little so he wasn't jerking his hips to hers in such a violent fashion and was instead gliding into her more smoothly and rhythmically. His pace was still faster than he would like, but he couldn't really prevent that, seeing as the tightness, heat, and wetness he suddenly found wrapped around his dick was causing him to slowly lose higher brain function. It grew even better when he felt her muscles fluttering around him in the most interesting way, and he gasped and then groaned as she clenched.

He drew back slightly, looking down at her as he moved over and inside of her, watching the flush on her cheeks work its way down to her neck and watching the way her face screwed up in pleasure. The obvious, unfiltered pleasure she was feeling ramped him up to the point where he could feel his balls tightening and knew he was close to finishing.

And the entire time he was making love to her, although it was perhaps closer to fucking given the way he was pounding into her, the entire time the reality that he could have lost her was right there in his mind, fuzzy and indistinct, almost subconscious under all the passion, but it was part of the driving force behind it. It lent that urgent edge to his movements, increased the heat inside of him until all he could feel or see or think was her and how much he loved her and how glad he was that they were both alive and able to even do this.

For just a moment he calmed, only a little, but it was enough to allow him to slow his movements and gentle just a bit, and her eyes opened at the change and looked up at him questioningly. The eye contact hit him right in the gut and sent a zing of awareness and pleasure strait to his nervous system. And suddenly he found words tumbling from his mouth, half of which he wasn't even fully aware of. All he knew was that the litany had something to do with how much he loved her and how he never wanted to lose her.

 **Ren POV**

I hung on and met his thrusts as much as possible, though he was moving so roughly at times that it was difficult to keep up. Despite the nearly aggressive way he was taking me, it was still thoroughly pleasurable, incredibly so. The thrusts weren't just fast, they were also powerful and reached deep, consistently hitting a spot deep inside that sent a zing of pleasure up my spine every time he hit it. There were other especially sensitive spots that also sent pleasure spiraling through me as well, and he seemed to be hitting all of them at once. I knew I wasn't going to be orgasming from this, since my clit wasn't being touched, but frankly that was okay with me because it was satisfying in another way.

After a while he seemed to slow down some, which caught my attention and had me looking up at him in a silent question. Meeting his heated darker teal gaze, shining with lust above me, had my blood boiling in my veins and my stomach clenching as the intense eye contact somehow made the fact that he was inside me all the more obvious in a weird way. It was like acknowledging that we were having sex, but in a completely different way. Almost in a way that was too intimate for me to take.

He apparently felt it too because his eyes widened and then darkened impossibly more, and suddenly he was speaking, though his voice was so low and rough I couldn't even make out what he was saying at first. It took me a second to fuzzily decipher some of the words tumbling out of his mouth as he continued to slide in and out of me, though slightly smoother and more gently than before.

Mostly the words coming from him were broken up phrases and sentences, many of which repeated, like, "Never, never again…I never want to lose you…never that close…want to be with you…always…love you…so much…goddamit…so beautiful…Ren…love you…always…never want to let you go…" Every so often a curse word would pop out, but mostly it was a lot of 'I love you' and words of relief that we were alive and the sentiment of never wanting to let me go.

As soon as I started making sense of the words, I couldn't help the way my eyes started to water, my pounding heart unable to take both the physical pleasure and the emotion swamping me at the same time. I gasped and my hands immediately found their way into his hair, pulling him down to kiss me where he continued to whisper against my lips in between kisses, and I started whispering back, and words of love and devotion and relief that the war was finally over went back and forth between our lips and tongues, words exiting one mouth only to enter the other.

As the intensity picked back up our words grew more sparse, though they were still there, only gasped and half intelligent as our bodies strained against each other. I was barely aware of the fact that the mental connection between us had somehow been instinctively fired up, probably since we had become so used to having it on during the war, and now I could feel everything he was feeling, and that only enhanced everything and brought us to a different level.

A broken groan of his name came from me, followed by a gasp of "love you" and was responded to in kind, and the sensation of sand coiling around us now indicated he was close. The other sign of his impending orgasm was the growl that started up low in his chest, rather quickly picking up in volume and intensity. When his sand swirled between us a little to make its way across my chest, caressing my nipples in the most fascinating and oddly intensely pleasurable way, I was shocked, amused, and not entirely surprised. I wasn't quite sure about the new stimulation, but I just went with it, and I was briskly reminded that Gaara gained pleasure from it when his growl kicked up a noticeable level in volume.

It wasn't long after that when his thrusts became significantly sharper and harsher and then his rhythm became jerky, and his growl spiked and then broke on a gasp that sounded suspiciously like my name, which had me moaning as well. He froze and I felt the tell-tale sensation of his dick twitching inside me. After a long minute he untensed and almost lazily let his hips gently thrust into me one or two more times before pulling out and rolling off me. He wrapped his arms around me and dragged me with him, pulling me on top of him, where I rested my head on his chest, panting and catching my breath as his sand slithered off us in a ticklish way and returned to his gourd.

I could feel myself drifting off as I lay cuddled up to him, the satisfaction from the sex overriding the lack of a climax.

My almost-sleep was gently interrupted temporarily by Gaara whispering into my ear, "You didn't orgasm Ren."

I groaned softly, the words arousing me, but not enough to fully wake me up, and I still felt myself drifting off. I mumbled, "Sleepy…we can do that tomorrow."

I heard his deep chuckle rumble under my ear and felt his hand as it stroked the skin on my back lightly, soothingly, and I quickly found myself fast asleep.

Later that night, or early that morning, I woke to the unpleasant sticky sensation between my thighs and groaned, waking up slowly and reluctantly deciding to take a shower and then go back to bed. My stirring woke Gaara and he followed me silently into the bathroom, apparently agreeing with me as I turned on the shower.

Once in the shower, I started soaping up my hands to wash but paused when Gaara put his hands over mine and asked, "Can I wash you?"

I blinked, waking up fully, and then said, "Sure." Grinning a little.

He took the bar of soap from my hands and sudsed up his palms, then gently massaged my neck and shoulders, moving down my arms. The warm, soapy feel of his hands on my skin felt amazing, both soothing and arousing at the same time. He turned me around and got my back, shoulders to butt. And then he slid his hands down the backs of my legs, and I shivered, finding that the slippery sensation was very enjoyable, and a little ticklish.

The gentle, tender way he was washing me, had me sighing in pleasure and had my emotions swelling in my chest at this very intimate action. It was strange how something as simple as soap and hands could be the vehicle to deliver such a strong message of affection and care towards someone else.

His hands slid back up on the insides of my legs, just brushing my brown curls between my legs. I huffed, amused and a tad frustrated by the teasing touch against my area. And then I mentally shook my head, reminding myself that we had dubbed that area my pussy, if I remembered correctly from when we had last done stuff before the war. I mused on how, strangely, that felt so long ago, even when it had been less than a month since we had first had sex, as Gaara turned me around to get to my front. He washed my chest, very thoroughly, his soapy fingers sliding over and around my nipples more than absolutely necessary for cleanliness purposes. But I certainly wasn't complaining, and thoroughly enjoyed the pleasure from the caresses.

He washed my stomach, and then my thighs, and finally moved up between my legs to touch my...pussy. It was going to take some time to get used to thinking of it like that. At that point, I was definitely aroused, so I jerked and bit back a moan as his fingers 'cleaned' my folds, although I was pretty sure a large part of the slipperiness came from me and not the bar of soap.

Unfortunately, the soap that was on his fingers started getting a little irritating after a moment, and I felt a bit of a burn, so I sighed, and said, "As good as that feels, and as much as I want you to continue what you're doing, unfortunately the soap is starting to sting a little. So I should rinse it off."

He blinked. "Soap stings you here?"

"Well yeah, doesn't it do that for you?"

"No, not at all."

"Huh, interesting." I cocked my head to the side, fascinated as usual.

Gaara removed his hand and I stepped under the water to rinse, and then I held a hand out for the soap. Gaara blinked and handed it over.

"Did I miss a spot?" He asked, a tad confused.

"On me? No, but you haven't washed yet have you?" I asked grinning.

"Not yet." He responded, his eyes widening slightly in realization and then darkened with anticipation.

I soaped up my hands and repeated the path he had taken on my body, starting at his neck and moving down his arms, then going around to this back. This time, I was the one using my hands to wash him, and I got to experience the other side of the situation. Since I was already emotionally charged, and aroused, from the gentle and stimulating bath he had given me, it was natural for me to lovingly stroke my slippery hands over his skin, feeling as if I was almost making love to him in a completely new way, a slightly less sexual way, though still very much physically arousing.

I tenderly washed his jutsu mark, lightly tracing the path of it with my fingertips and I felt him shiver, which made me grin at the knowledge that he enjoyed my touch. I took my time and enjoyed washing all the muscles back there, feeling them tense beneath my hands off and on as I touched him and he shifted. And then I washed his behind, which come to think of it, I wasn't entirely sure I had actually really touched before. He tensed a bit, apparently realizing the same thing, and I took a little time to explore the muscles there, and coped a pretty good feel, thoroughly indulging myself in the increasing playfulness of the moment. And then I washed his legs, getting a good look at his red hair there, which was darker red due to being wet. But I suspected that when dry, it was probably even lighter red than the red on his head. He didn't have super hairy legs, just an even sprinkle of the soft fluff, with slightly more on his calves.

I did the same thing he did and worked my hands up his inner legs, noting the way they parted slightly, and brushed up behind his balls, keeping it to a light caress, but touching him just a little more than he had touched me. Then I got up from where I'd knelt down behind him and walked around to his front, soaping up his chest. I paused, thinking, and then ran my soapy fingers over his nipples like he had done to mine. I figured it couldn't hurt. I'd never done it before, so I didn't know if he would like it, but I was interested to find out.

He twitched and glanced down, looking surprised. "Well, you did it to me." I answered his curious, questioning gaze.

"Hm." He hummed, and then rumbled, "Interesting."

"Does it feel good? Or is it just kind of the same as when I touch you elsewhere on your chest?"

"Everywhere you touch me feels good. But it does seem more sensitive there. So yes, it feels good."

"Good to know." I grinned and moved my palms down his belly, making sure to soap up all the dips between his muscles. I skipped his dick, which was saluting me now, and moved to his legs, kneeling in front of him to do so. I heard a very soft grumble as my hands soaped up his hips and then slid down past his erection without touching it. Then as I knelt in front of him I heard him suck in his breath, and I wasn't entirely sure what that was all about.

I soaped up the front of his legs, leaning down to get to his ankles. And then I accidently bonked the side of my face against his dick on the way back up and I jumped a little, pulling back and looking at it somewhat reproachfully. I scrubbed his red hair there, working up a good foam, and massaging all around the area, and then took pity on him, especially since he had started up with a low constant rumble in his chest, and soaped up his dick. I moved my hand up and down it firmly, and noted it was a little different when my hand was slippery with soap. He groaned, and his hips bucked, just a little, pressing his dick more firmly into my hand.

After a minute of stroking him like that he grabbed my wrist and said. "That's enough Ren. Before last night, I hadn't touched myself in a while because of the war. And if you keep touching me like that…"

I grinned up at him and released my grip. He walked into the water and rinsed off, and I stayed kneeling, thinking about something. The idea had occurred to me when I was washing him, and now I couldn't seem to get it out of my mind. I remembered the way he had licked me, before we'd sex that one time, and when I had knelt down in front of him I was struck with the fact that his dick had been right in front of my face. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it. After all, at first I'd been worried about him going down on me, and the fact that it hadn't seemed hygienic. But that wouldn't really apply in this situation anyways, because I'd just very thoroughly washed him. I wasn't even entirely sure I was opposed to the idea of … that, even without a shower. But it might not be a bad idea to start this way, just to ease me into it.

After he had finished rinsing off he turned around and saw me still kneeling on the tiled floor of the shower, and his non-brows scrunched just a little in confusion. "Ren, why are you still down there?"

"Well, I was thinking…" I started, and then waited. Sure enough, he walked towards me, getting within touching distance, which was perfect.

"Thinking about what exactly?" He asked, his voice simply confused, and showing no hint that he suspected my thoughts.

"You know how you were saying that what you did was a thing? You know, that one time, when you licked my…uh…pussy? I think you called it oral sex. Is the reverse true? For guys I mean."

His eyes popped open wide and he sucked in a startled breath, almost sounding like he was going to choke for a second there. He coughed and then cleared his throat. "Are you asking…if there's such a thing as oral sex for guys?" He asked, his voice just a tad hoarse.

I nodded.

His eyes darkened substantially, the lust there easily visible. "Yes…I believe it's called a blow job."

I snorted. "A blow job? Seriously? So, does that mean it requires me to actually blow, like, air? Or is it just an inventive name?"

"I'm pretty sure it's just a name." He clarified, his voice extra gravelly.

"I see. Do you mind if I…tried that?"

I saw his dick throb and heard a very audible swallow. "Now? Isn't the tile uncomfortable on your knees?" He rasped.

I blinked. "Oh yeah, a bit. Hold on." I stood, walked over to the shower door, opened it a little, grabbed one of the two towels there and closed the door, walking back to Gaara. I rolled up the towel and plopped it down on the ground, kneeling on that instead. "This is much better."

I reached out and grabbed his erection, feeling the blood surging under the surface, and leaned in. I paused about an inch away and looked up. "Any tips? I mean is there anything I should avoid doing?"

His eyes were wide, his lips parted, a flush on his cheeks, and I felt myself produce some more of the slippery substance that had been rinsed off a little while ago. He licked his lips, and said, "Just...watch your teeth." He said somewhat weakly.

I blinked. "Oh, yeah, good point. That would probably be very unpleasant."

I looked back down to the erection in front of me and gripped it firmly at the base, trying to decide what exactly I wanted to do. I noticed there was a little clear bead of fluid at the tip, so I just decided to start with that. I touched my tongue to the tip, a tad hesitantly, still not really sure what I was doing and just a little bit nervous. He jumped when I made contact, and so I jumped a little too, and nearly bit my tongue.

I drew back, and then went in again, deciding to start over since that had been a little awkward. This time I just went for it and licked him, tasting the little drop there, and deciding it didn't taste bad at all. It was salty, and even just a tiny bit sweet. I heard Gaara hiss above me as I scooted in a little closer and licked at him, just a tad awkwardly. Eventually though, I grew a little more confidant, and started exploring with my tongue, finding the sensation of him on my tongue to be different from feeling him with my fingers.

I wiggled my tongue into all the little nooks and crannies, discovering that it was actually incredibly fascinating, fun, and very arousing, to explore his body with my mouth like this. Gaara sounded like he was enjoying it quite a bit too, judging from the soft sounds coming from his throat now. He was almost panting, from what I could tell, and I glanced up to check on how he was doing. My eyes met his, and my tongue was still on his dick, and I blushed, because the eye contact was a little embarrassing in this position for some reason.

He, on the other hand, seemed to have a different reaction, his eyes flaring, and he gasped. His pale eyes got super dark, and looked down at me almost aggressively, with something akin to hunger. I blinked, my eyes widening at the stare he pinned me with.

I swallowed thickly, my eyes lowering. I could still feel his gaze burning into the top of my head though. It took me a second to gather my thoughts together and then I resumed what I'd been doing. Once I had mapped everything out, even sending my tongue in long strokes down the shaft, I tried swirling my tongue around the tip, opening my mouth just a tad more. That seemed to get a really good response, judging by the moan from above me and the way his hips flexed. His hips flexing forced the tip right up against my lips and I blinked. I decided to go with it, so I just pressed my lips against the tip, withdrawing my tongue for the moment.

More of that fluid came out and I licked my lips a little, moistening them, and then remembered how he had sort of sucked on me at one point. So I parted my lips around him, carefully, being very aware of my teeth now, and sucked on just the end of the head, just a little. I heard a sharp sound come from his chest, and his hips pressed himself against me. I got the idea and so I took more of him in, finding it a little difficult to do without nicking him with my teeth. I'd never noticed before, but now I kind of wished my mouth was just a little bit bigger. At that point I figured I might as well see how much of him I could fit inside, so I started experimenting with that, slowly sliding more of his shaft inside of my mouth until my jaw cramped up and my gag reflex was triggered. I pulled back some, figuring that choking while giving him a blow job was probably not the best thing to do. Through trial and error, I quickly found that I could get down his shaft about halfway comfortably.

Gaara meanwhile made some very interesting sounds, and I felt his hands touch my head. His palms just lightly rested on my head and then stroked my hair gently for a while, but even so, I could feel the tenseness in them and knew he was probably fighting the urge to just shove his dick down my throat. I kept one hand on his dick, and the other on his hip for balance, and started bobbing back and forth, trying to get some suction without biting down on him, which turned out to be pretty hard.

I pulled back and tried wrapping my lips over my teeth, which helped the suction, but it forced my jaw to open even wider, and my teeth dug into my lips painfully. After that, I was just careful not to scratch him with my teeth, but got my lips out from under them. I also attempted to get my tongue up and lick him a little as well, but that was sort of awkward to coordinate properly. After a few minutes my jaw started to cramp up, which wasn't very fun at all, so I pulled back some to swirl my tongue around the tip, picking up the slack by rubbing him with my hand.

I switched back and forth a few times, I could tell from his body's movements that my sucking on it felt really good, so I tried to do that as much as possible, but the more I did it the faster my jaw cramped up, so I simply had to go back and forth between the two. And he seemed to find my licking around the head while rubbing him also very pleasurable.

It wasn't long before I could see, out of my peripheral, the coiled shape of the sand curling up and down against the glass of the shower, but it couldn't get in. Still, I knew that meant he was getting close, so I upped my efforts. Where my hand was resting on his hip, I could feel his muscles tensing, and his hips suddenly bucked, almost making me gag when his dick bumped up against the back of my throat. At my small sound he immediately stilled.

"Sorry…" He panted, his voice sounding strained.

I just hummed to say 'no problem' and he made a choked sort of sound.

I slid my hand down a little bit, so it was resting at the very top of his thigh, and I could feel the tremors that signaled he was close. The growl that started up in his chest was the other signal I had come to rely on.

Very shortly he gasped, and one of his hands tightened in my hair, gently tugging to get my attention. I paused and looked up, wondering what he wanted to tell me.

"Ren, I'm going to orgasm if you keep doing that." He said, point blank, and I flushed a little. "If you don't want me to cum in your mouth then I would recommend you stop."

I pulled off with a slightly amusing popping sound and thought about it for a second. The idea of his cumming in my mouth was just a tiny bit gross, but also really arousing, and I decided to try it. I blinked up at him and said, "I'll give it a try, to see what it's like."

He blinked, wide eyed at me, his expression impossibly aroused, and I immediately ducked back down and took his dick back in my mouth, noting the slightly wild look in his eyes that said he was really, really close and stopping was driving him nuts. I knew what that was like. As soon as I started bobbing my head on him that growl started back up, super loud, and was almost broken immediately by a deep groan. It took less than a minute for him to tense, and though I sort of expected it, I wasn't totally prepared for his hands griping in my hair. His hips bucked spastically, and this time I did choke a little, as part of him ended up being shove down my throat a tad roughly. My eyes watered a bit, but overall it wasn't bad, and frankly I found his fervor very arousing. Even the slight edge of roughness was arousing, and it strangely felt good to have him almost in my throat, even if the gag reflex didn't.

Even so, I was really glad he had finished, because I didn't think I could keep my jaw open for too much longer, it was cramping so badly now. Yet, I was still able to enjoy the sensation of his dick twitching and pulsing in my mouth, finding that part to be extremely arousing. And then he ejaculated, and I blinked, finding the texture of the liquidy stuff now in my mouth, a little unpleasant. It was…kind of…weird and thick, and sort of lumpy, but it didn't taste bad, just very salty and perhaps a tad bitter. It was mainly the texture I had issues with, but even so, the fact that it was his, and it meant he had orgasmed, was still incredibly hot.

After a second, his grip on my hair relaxed and he pulled out of my mouth and landed on his knees in front of me, panting, his eyes closed, and his face flushed. I still hadn't swallowed, I just had it all sort of way in the back of my mouth. I kind of suspected swallowing it wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world, but I decided to give it a go anyways.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara simply was dazed. He couldn't believe what had just happened, and still was having trouble wrapping his mind around it all. The sensation of her mouth on him had been fantastic. It had been more difficult to cum from, because she seemed to change her rhythm a lot more to compensate for her mouth getting tired probably, but in the end, it had been an incredibly enjoyable experience. After everything that had happened, the war, getting home, the sex they had had only a short time ago, he found his knees distinctly wobbly, which accounted for why he had collapsed right after orgasm.

He hoped he hadn't been too rough with her, he knew he had grabbed her hair at the end, and had probably accidentally thrust into her mouth a little too hard at times, but he hadn't really been able to stop those things from happening, and she hadn't seemed to protest. He glanced at her, checking to make sure she was okay, but was distracted by the curious expression on her face, a mixture of interest, arousal, confusion, and perhaps a little bit of discomfort.

 **Ren POV**

I squinted and tilted my head back a tad to see if that would make things easier, and the movement drew Gaara's attention. His eyes opened, and his gaze distracted me for a second, the fuzzy glow in his eyes really lovely. And then his eyes widened as he looked at me.

"Did you spit it out?" He rasped, sounding unperturbed like that's what he expected.

I shook my head.

His eyes popped open wide. "You swallowed?"

I shook my head again.

"It's still in your mouth?!"

I nodded.

He gaped, his eyes wide and glassy. He didn't seem capable of speech at the moment, so I decided now would be a good time to go ahead and try to swallow, so I tilted my head back a little to get it all to the back of my throat, not really wanting to feel it on my tongue too much, and then did my best to activate my throat muscles. I swallowed once, then twice, and even a third time, finding the stuff to be surprisingly stubborn when it came to going down. It was so sticky I guess, and kind of gummy, that it just wanted to stick around in my throat. It wasn't particularly pleasant. I worked at it for a little bit, and eventually it felt like it had mostly gone down.

I met Gaara's eyes again, and he was staring at me with shock, amazement, arousal, and curiosity. "Did you just…?"

I nodded. "Yep."

He blinked, his eyes very dark. "And how was it?"

"Well…I didn't mind the taste. It was just kind of salty, maybe a little bitter. But the texture was a little odd, and it was tough to swallow."

"How so?" He now sounded curious, although the arousal was still thick in his voice.

"It's kind of…sticky." Was the best I could come up with.

He groaned. "No kidding." And then he looked to see his hand still resting on my head and he lazily started stroking my hair, his eyes softening a little. "I'm sorry for being rough, I lost control at the end."

"Its fine, it was actually kind of arousing, aside from the gag reflex."

His eyes flashed. "Good. I'm glad."

And then we both very quickly washed our hair. Very, very quickly. Actually I hadn't finished washing mine, when Gaara came in front of me and buried his fingers in my still soapy hair, his lips meeting mine in a feverish kiss, as his hands assisted to scrub out the last few suds of shampoo. I gasped against his lips, tasting the water from the shower and a mild soapy taste as well. I moaned into his mouth and my hands came out of my hair to wrap around his neck, letting him be in charge of making sure I didn't have any shampoo residue.

As soon as my hair was clean of soap we emerged from under the shower head.

We dried off, and went to bed. I wasn't entirely sure what all Gaara wanted to do, but I was starting to feel very tired, still insanely aroused, but the exhaustion of the day had caught up with me again. Whoever's idea it was to throw a party on the day we had returned home, obviously had never gone off to war before, because all I had wanted to do was the sorts of things we were doing now, and sleep.

I flopped back on the bed, sighing happily, and Gaara sat next to me. I twitched when I felt his hand lightly stroke over my stomach and I opened my eyes to look up at him questioningly.

"I know you're tired. Do you think you have enough energy to orgasm?"

I sucked in my breath, the question shooting through me and arousing me impossibly. _Damn._ Honestly, I didn't really think I had enough energy. I was so tired, and yet, I was also too aroused to turn down the offer. I groaned. "I think so…"

I saw the smile and then I was being dragged up to the middle of the bed. I yelped and then sighed as he lay down next to me. His hand slid down between my legs, not wasting any time and I gasped, arching, not entirely expecting the sudden caress. We usually did other stuff first, but then again, he probably could smell how aroused I was, so it made sense why he just went straight into it.

He scooted down my body a little, his head ending up around my navel and he kissed my stomach as his hand shifted, a finger and then two sliding into me unexpectedly. I jumped, my hips bucking up into the sudden penetration. It didn't feel as good as when we had had sex, but it still felt good, and when his thumb came up to rub my …what did he call it? I couldn't think very well at the moment and so I decided to ask him after.

He moved his thumb in a circle over that bundle of nerves, and then slowly moved his fingers inside me as well, slowly increasing the pace. My hips rocked up into the pleasure, and I gasped, already so aroused that I could feel myself climbing quickly to peak. It was strange, having something inside me while I was getting closer and closer, and I could feel my muscles fluttering around his fingers in a most peculiar manner, and yet, it felt incredibly good. My thighs trembled, and I could feel a flush working down my neck.

His thumb kept sliding over me there, and his fingers kept thrusting into me, now going rather fast, and I could feel myself going over the edge. I jerked and then gasped, a choked off moan coming from my chest as I felt the orgasm hit me like a bolt of lightning, the pleasure searing my nerves as it increased to impossible heights. The contractions that I had always felt, the pulses inside me, I could now feel even more strongly with something inside me, and I felt myself squeezing his fingers rhythmically. Having something to squeeze on made it feel so much better. I cried out, and I was pretty sure Gaara's name was somewhere in there, and my shaking thighs closed on his hand as my body bucked. He left his thumb there for me to grind on, gently moving it back and forth, and that prolonged the orgasm for a minute or two before that became too much.

Thankfully he picked up on the signals and stopped messing with that overly sensitive bundle of nerves, but left his fingers inside me, and I collapsed back onto the mattress, catching my breath, a few late shivers and contractions working their way through me.

 **Gaara POV**

After she stopped clenching on his fingers and flinched from his touches, he withdrew his fingers, knowing she was too sensitive to be touched at the moment. As he slipped his hand from between her thighs, he couldn't help the way he really wanted to replace his fingers with his dick now, but even though the desire was strong hi body was exhausted and so instead he licked his fingers clean, thoroughly enjoying the taste, and slid up the bed. He looked at Ren for a moment, admiring the flush still glowing on her cheeks and the way she looked utterly content and peaceful, almost as if she had fallen asleep already.

After a moment, he gathered her gently in his arms, sending a spiral of sand to turn off the lights, and cuddled her to his chest. She curled into him, humming happily, and he responded by starting to purr, which was an unconscious decision on his part, he was simply too happy and purring always happened at that point. She sighed and snuggled into him even more, and the drifted off to sleep together, both so tired that even Gaara could feel himself falling asleep.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So…lots of sex. Perhaps a bit too much…but really, they just got back from the war, so I think they deserve it.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for the long hiatus, I went into survival mode to finish my classes, and that meant cutting out all my hobbies, including eating and sleeping occasionally. But I'm done now, so that means I will be finishing this post-haste! Expect several chapters very quickly. After the entire thing is done, I'm going to go back and redo it, rearrange all the chapters, and potentially split it into two different stories. I will also be re-editing it and possibly adding or taking away things, or else just rearranging. For one, I feel like the sex tends to be grouped together too closely, so I'm going to see if I can spread it all out a little more evenly.

Anyways, more sexy stuff next chapter, and a major plot twist. Stay tuned. :3


	86. Burn With Me: Chapter 72

The next morning I woke slowly. I was on my back and Gaara had his arm draped over my stomach, which made my morning bathroom urges more apparent to my still sleepy mind. With that in mind, I snuck out from under his arm and went into the bathroom to do my business, brushed my teeth, and went back to bed. I dozed for a while, only semi-aware when Gaara left the bed presumably to do something similar to what I had just done.

I drifted back to sleep, only to wake a little when I felt Gaara get back into bed and snuggle up behind me. I was less than half awake, so my mumbled, "Du we haf to gedup an go tu werk today?" probably wasn't very intelligent.

I heard the deep chuckle and felt the vibrations in my back from where his chest was pressed against me. "No, I took today off. I doubt anyone expects to see me for a full 24 hours."

"tha's good." I sighed and started drifting back to sleep, my body and mind still utterly exhausted from the war. I fully intended to sleep for at least 12 hours.

He hummed contentedly and buried his face into the nape of my neck, his warm breath tickling my skin but soothing me.

 **Lemon Warning**

I slept soundly for probably another hour or two before I woke again, and this time it was to Gaara's morning wood pressing into my behind while he was spooning me. I sleepily smirked into my pillow, and pressed back into him subtly. I felt his dick twitch against me, his breath stuttering against my neck, and his head popped off the pillow and I sensed him looking down at me. In my half-awake amused mind, I decided to pretend I was asleep, which was a little difficult since my lips kept wanting to smile.

After a minute or two the pillow shifted as he laid his head down again and gently kissed the back of my neck. I waited a few moments, and then shifted again, still pretending it was in my sleep. I pressed my butt back into his crotch and shifted my legs to rub against his erection for just a second before settling down with a pretended mumble and hum.

I wanted to see how long I could pretend to be asleep, and how long he would buy it, just for fun. I thoroughly enjoyed playing these kinds of games with Gaara, how at first he would get all cranky, but usually caught onto the game relatively fast. And then he'd typically become pretty playful himself, and generally pretty mischievous as well.

Rubbing against him had his head up and off the pillow again as he huffed and once again looked at me, probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on and if I was in fact asleep. I must be a pretty active sleeper for him to have bought my trick for so long. I heard him very softly sigh my name under his breath as he shifted his hips back a little, probably not wanting to get too aroused if I was asleep.

He apparently decided I was still pushing up z's and put his head back down. Once again, I waited a while before moving back and bumping into him again, shifting a little more actively. I felt his arm around me tighten and a low growl rumble in his chest. And then his teeth lightly nipped my neck as he whispered "Are you awake?"

I didn't respond, and just mphed a little in my 'sleep' before shifting again.

He growled again and I heard him grumble, "If you aren't already awake you will be soon…" almost to himself, before he kissed the back of my neck almost a little aggressively now.

He worked his way down my neck and to my shoulder, nipping at the point of my collarbone. Meanwhile, his hand that had been resting on my stomach from where his arm was draped across my waist started gently stroking my tummy. I shivered, unable to help myself, but did my best to stay still and pretend to still be asleep. Eventually his hand ended up on my breasts, and then played with my nipples, which made it very difficult for me to stay still.

By now I was sure he knew I was awake, and he verified that when his lips crawled up to my ear, nipping and kissing around me there while he whispered, "I know you're awake Ren."

I couldn't stop the little smirk that curled the corner of my lips, but stubbornly continued to pretend. Now it was more a game of wills, how long I could stay still and silent while he did his best to try to force a response out of me.

I felt more than heard the deep chuckle that rumbled in his chest. "So you want to play a game do you? Let's see how long you can keep this up. I'm warning you now, I won't go easy on you."

Looks like I had woken up that little bit of evil still left in him that came out sometimes in mischievous ways. This was going to be interesting. Naturally Kitty was doing her normal purring and crude commentary, for once not trying to hurry me up. She liked playing games as much as I did. I generally ignored her during sexy situations, and lately she hadn't had much of a reason to talk to me during such activities, since in the past she had only been trying to get me to fuck him. And obviously that wasn't a problem anymore.

Meanwhile, Gaara proceeded to do everything within his power to drive me utterly crazy, utilizing every method he had discovered that he knew I liked. He messed with my nipples for a good long while, and I definitely felt my body grow more and more heated, but through force of will managed to stay still and mostly silent aside from a few soft huffs and teeny tiny whimpers that snuck out of my throat.

When his hand slid down my body my thighs tightened. His fingers arrived at the juncture of my thighs and huffed a laugh to find them tightly closed. "That's not going to work on me." He rumbled, and after a second or two I felt the strange silky touch of his sand working up from my ankles.

 _Cheater._

The sand worked between my thighs and forced them open wide enough for his hand to sneak in and tackle my pussy. His fingers easily found my clit and started up with the lightest, most impossibly teasing touch that made it almost burn and ache in a very aggravating fashion, and I very much needed for him to touch me more firmly.

I held up for a minute at most under that torment and then I broke and sighed, groaning, "Okay, you win. But the sand was cheating, just so you know."

He laughed. "And your closing your legs wasn't?"

"I wasn't moving."

"They wouldn't have been tensed up if you were asleep."

"I guess."

I huffed and then moaned as his fingers rubbed me a little more firmly. When I arched my back I felt his dick slip between my legs and we both gasped. His fingers paused and then he pulled his hips back a little until his tip was more or less lined up with my entrance.

"Can I?" He asked a little gruffly, and I hummed an affirmative.

He pressed forward and I widened my legs a little more, tilting my back to make it easier, and the sand cooperated and propped my leg up higher. Once again it was a little clumsy and uncoordinated, but finally he slid inside me and we both groaned in unison at the sensation.

As before, it was a little overwhelming at first, but I much more quickly adjusted this time, since I had already known what to expect, and I shifted my hips back against him as his pushed forwards and we promptly set up a slow rhythm. It felt incredibly good, even better than last time since there was no pain or discomfort. It was still a bit odd and still stretched me in ways I was only beginning to get used to, but the pleasure mounted so fast that the mild oddity didn't bother me at all.

I quickly found myself panting and soft moans escaped my chest. And I wasn't the only one, I could hear Gaara's breath picking up rapidly behind me and groans coming from him as well. After a moment I felt his other hand sneak beneath me and then both hands grabbed my hips and held me steady against him as he moved. He sat up and then moved onto his knees, pulling me along with him, still connected, until he was behind me and I was on hands and knees.

This was definitely easier, being on my side had felt a little awkward and the movement had been difficult to achieve, but now bucking my hips back against him was delightfully easy. As he thrust into me he laid his chest down over my back and reached up under me with an arm, his fingers finding my clit. I jerked, bucked, and moaned in surprise. It was difficult to keep his fingers on me while we were moving, but eventually he set up a rhythm and I felt myself fluttering around him inside of me, my muscles spasming in the oddest most delightful way.

It felt amazing, and soon my thighs were shaking and it was a tad difficult to keep myself up, but somehow I managed. I could feel my impending orgasm, which wasn't particularly surprising given the circumstances, but at the same time it would also be the first time I had ever reached my peak while he was inside of me. That thought was both arousing and also made me just a tad shy, which was utterly ridiculous, but I never had been great with new stuff.

In fact, the thought suddenly made my mind way too active, and it became difficult to pay attention to what was going on with my body in a way that would result in my orgasm. My mind started popping out the most random shit, in an extremely frustrating manner. I gritted my teeth together and tried to shove all thoughts out of my head, but the more I thought about it, the more it made me think, and the more I got weird and anxious. Which was nonsense, and I knew it was nonsense, and knowing it was nonsense was just another thought ping-ponging around in my noggin.

All of that stupid stuff totally deflated my orgasm, and frustrated me to no end. Even so, it still felt extremely good, and I couldn't help but enjoy it, through a screen of hazy irritation and mind-clutter.

 **Gaara POV**

He could feel her tense up beneath him, and knew she was experiencing some of her anxiety that she still occasionally felt during these sorts of things. All he could really do was to continue thrusting into her and rubbing her clit, taking more care now to try and pick up the right rhythm for her with his fingers. After a little while, he stilled his movements and leaned forward to put his chest flush to her back, reaching toward her ear so he could softly murmur, "Would you like me to stop?"

"Huh? Why?" She asked, sounding confused.

"I can sense that you're anxious, would you like to take a little break and come back to it in a while?"

"Oh. I'm sorry" She sighed sounding embarrassed.

He took that to mean yes and started to withdraw, but she put a stop to that idea by reaching up and swiftly hooking him with a hand behind his neck, pulling him back down to her.

"I didn't mean stop…it feels good..."

He blinked, but took her up on her offer and restarted his movements, this time gently rocking into her and kissing her neck as he did so, thoroughly enjoying every silken thrust and the taste of her skin on his lips. It didn't take long before he was moving faster, his lust rising even more quickly due to the brief pause, and he found himself gripping the back of her neck with his teeth, though he did make sure not to bite down too hard. She didn't protest the rough treatment, in fact he could hear her breath picking back up, and he made sure to continue rubbing her with his fingers, finding it a little difficult to do blind and in this position, especially with all the slick wetness that was making his fingers slip and slide all over the place, but she seemed to really enjoy it, arching back into him and moaning.

He could still feel that she was a little tense and not quite as into it as usual, but he was unable to stop at this point. Eventually he ended leaning back, grabbing her hips and thrusting into her more strongly, using his grip on her to drag her into his thrusts. It wasn't long before his sand joined them on the bed, and he felt the sand as it caressed her skin, sensing her through it and heightening his awareness. The growl that had already started up in his chest rose louder, and suddenly broke on a gasp as he felt himself reach that edge, and then he moaned her name as he fell over into orgasm.

 **Ren POV**

We collapse onto the bed, and I huffed, my body yelling at me in all kinds of languages and making up all sorts of curse words for getting so close but not finishing. Even so, I was too embarrassed to actually finish myself off. And I did feel good knowing that at least Gaara had orgasmed.

After a few moments, he rolled off of me and I flipped over onto my back, prepared to take a nap and try to calm the fuck down, so my eyes were closed and I didn't see what was about to happen. My mind had blissfully blanked out finally, of course it didn't really matter anymore. But it turned out that its silence was a very good thing, because when I suddenly felt the warmth and wetness of Gaara's breath touch my lower stomach and upper thighs, I was so shocked that anything that was still in my head flew out the proverbial window.

The blank slate of my mind let me focus entirely on the sensation of his tongue on my clit, which nearly had me snapping my legs closed in a kneejerk reaction of shyness. Of course he wasn't having any of that, and stopped it from happening, knowing me well enough to have grabbed a thigh to start with. I yelped and started sputtering a few half-assed protests which I immediately stopped and simply let myself enjoy his attention.

It took him a second to remember what it was that he was supposed to do with his tongue, but once he did it didn't take long for me to reach my delayed climax.

 **End of Lemon**

Afterwards he rested the side of his face on my thigh, lying somewhat diagonal on the bed and his feet dangling off the edge. It was a good thing it was such an abnormally massive bed, because in any normal one he wouldn't have been able to rest there nearly as comfortably.

For the rest of the day we relaxed and rested up. We still had a few bumps and bruises here and there, so it was nice to take it easy. The rest and relaxation helped enormously, and I slowly unclenched, the war growing farther away in my mind, though in some ways it was still very present in my emotional state. But it almost felt like a dream now, almost unbelievable that we had gone through that.

The next day we went back to work, and there was a lot of work to do. As Kazekage, Gaara had to organize all the post-war operations and resettle the village back into some semblance of order. So that meant a lot of paperwork and walking around to make sure everything in the village was working smoothly. That sort of business lasted a few days and then of course there was a council meeting that we had to attend.

As usual, I stood behind Gaara and listened as they talked about the remainder of the important stuff after the war, what to do with the leftover provisions, where to store the extra medical supplies, etc. It was all fine and dandy, rather boring actually, and then one of the prestigious elders of the village, and a frequent visitor to the council, said, "Now, Lord Kazekage, it is time we discussed your marital status and your obligations to the village as such."

That snapped everyone to attention real quick. Kankuro was the first to sputter a protest. "Obligation?! What the heck do you mean by that?"

Several of the other council members also expressed a good deal of confusion at what he meant by that. While the other older members of the council, the elders, and some of the newer council members looked thoughtful…disturbingly so.

"Yes. I understand it's a foreign concept for you youngsters, but the Kazekage is often married for political reasons. Even your father's marriage started out as an arrangement between the elders and a prestigious clan from the village."

There were more protests, and then another of the old farts said, "Indeed. It's tradition, and you have reached a prime age to be considering a wife. Now would be a good time to look at the potential candidates, particularly after having had such a successful war."

Granny Hitachiin stayed silent through all of this, though I saw her eyes glance at me sympathetically.

There was a lot of heated discussion, and eventually the majority rule seemed to be in favor of an arrangement of some sort, either a political alliance strengthening our ties with one of the other great nations, or else a political tie with a clan from within the village that held a lot of influence, of which there were several.

Gaara said nothing, just watching them with eyes that gave nothing away. I did my best to do the same, putting on my poker face and not letting anything show, despite the way my chest felt like it was about to pop from panic.

Once the meeting was out, Gaara saying something mild and neither agreeing to or refusing their demands, we retreated to his office, and I could hold my tongue no longer. "What are you going to do?! You can't actually be thinking of…."

He interrupted my panicked questions briskly. "No. Of course not. We simply have to find a way around it, and if push comes to shove, I can simply refuse them."

I breathed a sigh of relief, sitting down shakily in my chair and putting my head in my hands. "Why does this have to be a big deal? I mean, you should be able to marry whoever you want."

He knelt in front of me and gently tugged on my hands to uncover my face. "It's simply old traditions that are outdated and make no sense. I don't agree with them and I simply won't marry whoever they decide on."

I nodded and sighed, having a very bad feeling about this. I couldn't focus on anything else for the rest of the day, although I did try to read while Gaara continued to fill out all the paperwork he needed to complete.

That night when we retired to our apartment I was sitting on the bed, watching him walk around the room, getting ready for bed, and the thoughts continued to swirl frighteningly in my mind. I couldn't help but think that this was going to end badly for us. The council wielded a lot of power and they could force Gaara to do whatever they wanted if they really put their minds to it.

After a while Gaara sighed and turned to look at me, his fingers still busy undoing the buckles across his chest. "You're worried." He observed blandly.

I blinked up at him and then glanced away. I couldn't help it, even though he had assured me that he wouldn't be swayed by the council. Based on my history I was deathly afraid of being abandoned, even still, and this was too threatening for my peace of mind. The prospect of losing Gaara now, after everything, and for such a stupid reason absolutely terrified me.

Gaara huffed and came to sit on the bed next to me, shrugging off his coat as he did so and tossing it over a nearby chair. He slid his fingers under my chin and raised my head, forcing me to meet is gaze. "I promise, nothing bad is going to happen. I love you Ren, I would never leave you, no matter how much the council barks and whines."

I stared into his eyes, lost within the pale turquoise depths and desperately hoped he was right. I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore, certainly not any life I would want to live.

 **Another Lemon Warning: They're busy today…**

His head dipped and he kissed me, which quickly turned into something more. Despite his convincing words I could taste the tension in his kiss, felt the way his lips pressed against mine almost desperately, and I knew he was worried too. Suddenly I found myself under him, and we were rather clumsily undressing at a speed that made my head spin. Things happened so fast I wasn't sure exactly how we got naked, although the slight rope burn on my neck from the collar of my shirt nearly choking me in its expedient removal, and the other slight bruises and pinches from other hastily removed clothing items indicated what had happened.

Once again my breast bindings were shredded, which I had gotten used to by now, and then we were embracing skin to skin. We kissed urgently, teeth randomly clicking together from the force used, and then Gaara was turning us and I was on top, which barely even registered to my mind. But the new position did give him access to my breasts and his immediate use of the opportunity had my desire spiking. After a brief period of kissing and touching and heat that had me almost, but not completely, forgetting the fear that had squeezed my heart and made me want to choke, I decided I had had enough foreplay. Although, it wasn't exactly a conscious decision. I simply found myself squirming around and doing my best to get him inside me, which in my fuzzy state of mind wasn't working out too successfully.

It helped immensely when Gaara's hands finally left my breasts and landed on my hips, lifting me a little. I took the cue and took it upon myself to line him up, which nearly had me falling forward onto him as I almost lost my balance. But then he was at my entrance and I lowered myself onto him, hissing in pleasure at the new position. The angle was a little different and it felt like he was deeper than before. I paused for just a second, sitting up on him and meeting his eyes as he stared up at me. As always, the eye contact increased the intimacy and intensity of the experience exponentially, and I knew he could see all the passion, love, and anxiety in my eyes, just as I could see it in his.

His gaze held me immobile for a long moment, and then I sighed and began to move, unable to stay still any longer, his hands on my hips helping, pulling me down into his upward thrusts, and soon we had a rhythm and I got lost in the pleasure of the experience. I was struck by my sudden need to have him inside me, like this but even more if possible, inside my very being, forever.

A few minutes were spent in a daze of heat, the time seeming to pass by in the blink of an eye and yet at the same time almost as if it stretched on forever. The physical sensations made my brain shut off and I simply allowed myself to focus on the pleasure bombarding my system. I actively lost myself in Gaara and his body and my love for him, not wanting to think anymore, not wanting to worry anymore, just wanting to feel and be with him. I hardly noticed how my eyes were wet, or how a few beads of moisture trailed down my cheeks from the corners of my lids, tears of pleasure, and emotion, and possibly of the fear that still gripped me, though I forced myself to ignore it.

I didn't realize his hand was sneaking between us until I felt his thumb on my clit, and I jumped, the added pleasure sending me into a completely different place. This time I was so wrapped up in the sensations that my mind didn't have a chance to start up with the stupid thoughts and distract me, my mind was utterly numb, blessedly so, and I was all body and emotion.

Since my brain didn't interfere I quickly climbed, the pleasure mounting within me and causing my inner muscles to start clenching and fluttering on him, which felt amazing, and my thighs started trembling which made it difficult to keep up with the rhythm we had established. Thankfully Gaara took over, bucking up into me harder. It wasn't long before I felt my orgasm approaching swiftly, and I gasped and then groaned, his name pulled out of me from the force of the combined intense physical pleasure and emotional whirlpool that was my body and soul. The wave of pleasure crested and I hit my peak with an embarrassingly loud moan, another, much more garbled version of Gaara's name tumbling from my lips as I curled forward, my body spasming out of control and my thighs clenching on his hips as my hips bucked against him.

 **Gaara POV**

He could tell she was getting close, based on the way her thighs trembled and the way her inner muscles were clenching on him, which drove him up the wall. He eagerly anticipated the moment, and she did not disappoint, as her body tensed and then bucked wildly and she moaned, "Guh…Gaa…ra," which naturally immediately had him bucking up into her and moaning. The sound of his name coming from her in such a way almost made him orgasm right then and there, but he held off for a moment, though it grew increasingly difficult as her inner muscles spasmed and started clenching on him in a way that made it feel like she was trying to milk him.

Ren seemed to hit critical mass and she curled forward, her body tossed forwards in the throes of passion and he swiftly grabbed her head with his hand that had been on her hip, so she wouldn't head-butt him accidentally and guided her head down to his chest instead. She curled into him, twitching and jerking, and while she was still clenching on him he swiftly rolled her over, cupping her head and dipping to kiss her as he started up thrusting again, which seemed to set another mini orgasm off in her as she moaned and the contractions that had been slowing down started back up again in full force. He hissed and that growl started up in his chest as he started climbing towards his own orgasm. His sand became more and more active as it usually did, and he could feel it as it rubbed up against Ren's skin, sending a thrill through him at the sensory input through his chakra network.

It didn't take long before he felt himself tensing and the pleasure of his own orgasm swamped him, making him buck up into Ren almost violently and then freeze as he ejaculated, the sensation zipping up his spine and almost overwhelming him.

 **Ren POV**

Gaara relaxed after a long moment, almost collapsing on top of me. After a moment we rolled over and I snuggled into him as the sand slid away from us as always. As the ecstasy slowly wore off all the fears and anxieties slowly came back, but I was a little calmer about it all, a little more assured that there was no way we could be separated.

But even so, I couldn't help but worry about the future and what it held for us.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So…I meant to post this yesterday. My bad. Sorry!

Anyways, we are getting close to the end of the story, so hang in there for just a couple more chapters, I promise you won't be disappointed. I'm also thinking of doing a few little one shots separate from the main story. So we'll see how that goes. :3


	87. Burn With Me: Chapter 73

My concerns weren't unfounded, because after that first meeting, the council got very pushy, bringing it up at every subsequent meeting, getting more and more demanding. I grew to hate and fear the meetings, which naturally grew more and more often.

In one particularly bad meeting several weeks after that first fateful day, when the expected topic of Gaara's finding a bride came up, one of the council members stood and stated, "We have found several potential candidates in the village and have arranged meetings with these women and their families so that you can become acquainted."

The bottom of my stomach dropped out and I clenched my teeth, refraining from saying anything. Kitty didn't have any reservations and proceeded to cuss the entire council out inside my head in exceptionally inventive ways.

 _ **Those low-down, bald, senile, old nincompoops, who probably haven't ever had any love in their life, undoubtedly because they all suck ass and think they crap gold, who do they think they are? Bunch of ass-hats, evil, no-good, goddam douche-nozzles, they give a bad name to cats because they're pussies in the worst way. Obviously they're trying to get their rocks off by making our mate marry, probably because they can't marry, because who the fuck would want any of them…ugly, good-for-nothing…**_ and on and on.

I didn't bother asking her how she knew about douches.

Kankuro and Temari both spoke up at the same time in protest, but Gaara waved them to silence with a hand. He took a long moment to respond, but when he did it was in a calm, if slightly tense voice, "I understand these are traditions of the village, however, I am inclined to turn down your kind offer."

That got many responses, all of which were very firm and unwavering in their decision. The council, or at least the older, important members, told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was going to do it.

As Kazekage, Gaara could outright refuse, but that would look bad, and he couldn't just dismiss the people that were pressuring him from the council. There were rules and traditions and socially accepted things that he had to abide by if he wanted to be successful as the Kazekage. If these council members turned against him, again, they could make his rule as Kazekage very unpleasant indeed. It wasn't a dictatorship, it was more of a democracy, and things were done by vote, and when the majority ruled that the Kazekage needed to find a bride, the pressure to find a bride was on.

And so he reluctantly agreed to meet with these "candidates," though I could see in his eyes that he had no intention to actually consider them as prospects.

As we left the meeting, Kankuro caught up with us and said in a hushed voice, "What are you guys going to do? I don't see the council backing down any time soon."

Temari joined us and added, "I've tried swaying a few of the council to our side, but most have latched onto this idea with disturbing vigor."

Gaara responded in his quiet, no-nonsense way. "I don't plan to choose any bride they suggest. I will meet with the women, to satisfy them, but I don't intend to do any more than that."

"That's only gonna last so long man…eventually they're gonna force you to choose someone." Kankuro sputtered anxiously.

Gaara shrugged, "If need be, I will simply refuse them and they can do what they will."

Both Temari and Kankuro looked very concerned but left it at that and we separated to all go and do our respective jobs. I was growing more and more anxious, the longer this went on.

Shortly after that, a mere two days later, the first meeting was arranged and the girl and her parents were ushered into the Kazekage's office by a council member at the appointed time. I quickly observed all three of them with sharp eyes. First my eyes went to the girl, and I took in her fancy dress, the low cut that showed off her boobs in an extravagant way, the ribbon at her waist that showed off her curves, the expensive jewelry, the perfectly applied makeup, the soft looking hands that didn't look like they had ever done a single hard thing in her entire life, and I immediately hated her with a fiery passion. I schooled my features into an emotionless mask, and glanced over the mother and father, both of whom were equally finely dressed, and both looked incredibly pleased with themselves.

The father stepped forward and bowed, saying, "Lord Gaara, I can't tell you how pleased I am that you agreed to meet with us. This is my daughter Rukia."

Gaara looked up and looked over them blandly, his face utterly blank and his eyes intimidating in their pale emotionless intensity. I saw the girl flinch and smirked inside and I could hear Kitty snickering.

The father said, somewhat less confidently, "My Lord Kazekage, should we leave the two of you alone to get to know each other?" He glanced at me and I calmly met his gaze.

Gaara stood and crossed his arms, saying calmly, "That will not be necessary." He was polite but firm.

The mother stepped forward and began speaking about their clan, the purity of their blood and the strength of their chakra. Gaara simply stared silently at her and when she was done he said, "I see. Thank you for informing me. I am glad that the Sand Village possesses such excellent citizens."

They appeared to be at a loss for what to say after that and soon the meeting ended. Despite all my efforts, I couldn't help but be tense and aggravated for the rest of the day, though I did try to act as normally as possible. My tension never had a chance to decrease, because of course, the next day, when the council caught wind of how Gaara had acted they admonished him and insisted he be more civil and make an effort to get to know the girls. That meeting did nothing for my state of mind, and I could feel myself winding tighter and tighter, my emotions getting the better of me and affecting me physically now. All the muscles in my body ached with the tension, knots in my muscles and tendons twisting out of whack and causing me a great deal of pain, and the tightness of my neck soon gave me a constant headache.

The next meeting that we had with a prospective wife, only a day later, Gaara followed the councils admonitions and politely asked her name, and then politely asked what her favorite thing to do was, and then politely asked her other such inane questions. All of his questions were asked politely, but in a monotone, emotionless voice, and the more the girl talked the less she seemed to want to talk, and pretty soon into the meeting she couldn't meet his eyes. Each successive meeting was held in a similar manner, with Gaara continuing to be almost aggressively polite, and utterly disinterested.

The more private meetings we went to, and the more council meetings we attended where he was grilled on whether he had liked any of the girls, the harder it got for me, and the more I just wanted to claim him for myself and tell them to all go to hell. But I knew that was simply unacceptable. So I just put up with it, biting my lips and tongue, sometimes literally, and the taste of blood became a constant in my life. It was slowly chipping away at my heart, the fear mounting every day that he might be forced to marry someone, and then our relationship would be…shattered. I knew good and well I wouldn't be able to handle it. At this point, I could feel myself reverting, feel all those old fears and anxieties creeping back up on me. It was as if dark walls were slowly coming to box me in, and even though I could see them clearly, there was no way for me to escape, and I began to almost feel a claustrophobic sort of anxiety 24/7.

As the weeks slowly progressed, I continued attended private meetings with him and these prospective brides and their families, all of them doing their utmost to win him over at first and then slowly growing more and more intimidated of him until they would eventually leave. To start with, the girls would flaunt their assets, the parents would flaunt their money and prestige, and the entire time it made me sick to my stomach and I wanted to punch all their lights out, so it was always a relief when they would inevitably give up and leave.

It hurt more and more, and I couldn't help but feel like I was slowly losing him. Every day grew darker than the last, my heart slowly growing colder as I felt the impending solitude and pain I would be forced to endure. I started closing off, despite Gaara's attempts to comfort me, and I knew he could sense my distress.

 **Gaara POV**

Gaara was beside himself. He was getting to the point where he felt rather…aggressive towards all the council members who were attempting to force him into an arranged marriage. He could feel all his old habits being forced to the surface, all that darkness within his soul that he had lived within for the large majority of his life. He could feel those voices within his mind begin to speak again, very quietly telling him to kill them all.

He had to wrap iron bands of will around himself, to keep himself sane, if only for Ren's sake. He couldn't allow himself to sink into that abyss again, it wouldn't bode well for her. And yet, it was her that was the catalyst in this situation, he could deal with the council, although they pissed him off, but it was her reaction that really made his instincts flare bright red. Their actions were hurting her, it was plain to see how much fear she held within herself. And her pain made him want to hurt the ones that were hurting her, all his protectiveness rising up with a fiery passion and bringing with it that evilness that still lurked within his heart.

She had always been able to stir up his emotions, bringing things out of him that he didn't even know he possessed. When he had been insane, she had brought out the emotions that had been buried below all the pain and darkness. And now, he had thought those murky parts of his psyche were all but gone, and yet she was able to rouse them as well. He could feel the blood lust growing stronger day by day, and he had to keep himself under control, had to never let himself lose his focus, particularly in the presence of the council and in the presence of the girls that were paraded before him. He certainly didn't want to hurt any prominent members of his village.

Even Shukaku was having trouble controlling himself, not that he'd ever been very good at that, and he constantly insisted that Gaara just tell them to all go fuck themselves. Gaara honestly didn't know how much longer he could take this pressure, something was going to give. He just hoped it wasn't his sanity and morality that gave first.

 **Ren POV**

Several weeks later we attended yet another meeting with the council, and I entered the room with a great sense of dread. Immediately, the same elder that had started this nonsense spoke up again, and I tensed, expecting the worst. "Lord Gaara, you have met with all the eligible candidates within our village, and several of the most eligible candidates from other villages. Have you chosen your bride yet?"

Gaara slowly blinked and I stiffened, shutting down all emotions. He simply said, "No."

The old fart seemed very displeased. Another of the ringleaders for this particular endeavor spoke up, saying, "In that case, we have arranged a large social function, at which there will be all the eligible candidates you have met from our village, as well as several more potential prospects that would make excellent political matches from other villages. You will have the opportunity to mingle, and by the end of the night we expect you to have chosen your bride … or else."

Gaara grew very stiff and growled, "Or else what?" I could feel the tension radiating from him, and his aura grew darker and more menacing under the threat.

"You are Kazekage, Lord Gaara, and a war hero, and a magnificent Shinobi, but you are still young, and new to the ways of the world. Seats of power, no matter who holds them, can be easily shaken when one has the right means to do so. Do not underestimate us, just because we may seem old to you. Our age means that we have had the time to gather many resources, and therefore can accomplish many things."

I read between the lines easily enough. In other words, if Gaara didn't play along, they would work to have him unseated, the bastards. While we could fight them, it meant we would be risking Gaara's position as Kazekage. And what was worse, was that the main people who were pushing this upon Gaara were elders of the village, not council members. Yes there were many in the council who had been swayed to their point of view, and Gaara could deal with them easily enough since they were under his control and technically he could dismiss them from the council. However, elders of the village could not be "dismissed," they were honored pillars of the village, usually from highly respected clans, and if Gaara were to anger them, he could be put in a very precarious position indeed. The elders wielded a large amount of sway over the public opinion.

And then I saw the subtle nasty grin on the guy's face. "We know you have a…lover, and that is perfectly fine. But now is the time to be thinking of the good of the village, not of your own selfish desires, so you will need to dismiss her."

I gritted my teeth. They knew nothing, nothing at all.

I closed off, my emotions shutting down as I went numb inside. That night, I went to our apartments, and I did my best to act naturally, but of course he saw right through me.

"Ren…we will find a way out of this…I won't let them force me into a marriage that I don't want." Gaara said, once again sitting next to me on the bed and holding my hand.

I shuddered. "I…don't know. You are risking your position as Kazekage, and the village needs you. You can't just give that up."

"I'm not. No matter what they say, they can't unseat me, not without a fight." He said firmly and with no room for objections.

Of course that didn't stop me from trying. "But I…"

"No buts Ren." He murmured and shut me up with a kiss.

The love making that night was desperate, more full of anxiety and the fear that we would soon be unable to do this, that I would never be able to touch him again. Afterwards I silently shed tears and looked at my hand resting against the bare skin of his chest, my palm picking up on the pulse of his heartbeat underneath. I couldn't imagine the thought of never being able to be close enough to him to feel his pulse beating against my skin. Even just the thought had such intense pain shooting through my heart that I felt like my chest would split open.

The dreaded night approached, and I slowly grew number and number, colder and colder, knowing that if he wanted to have a smooth reign as Kazekage he would need to choose a bride acceptable to the council. Despite what he said, I could see in his eyes the tenseness and the fear, that same fear that darkened my own heart.

The day of the social event, while we were in his office, I gritted my teeth and said what I had to say, having thought about it long and hard. Even though it would break my heart, and Gaara's as well, I knew that the village's wellbeing was more important than me.

"Gaara…tonight…you should look at those other girls. See if you could…be happy…with one of them." I tried to say it without choking, and mostly succeeded.

His wide eyes met mine, the pain in them as hard to bear as the pain in my chest. As he took in a breath to protest, I forestalled him, saying, "Don't agree, don't disagree, don't say anything. Just…think about it."

He nodded tightly.

I excused myself to go into the restrooms and there I sat down on the floor, not even concerned about the germs, and I wrapped my arms around my knees and cried, rocking back and forth. While I was in there I heard a very soft, very tentative knock on the door and heard Matsuri's soft voice call through the door.

After a moment she walked in, and knelt in front of me. Of course as his secretary she had been privy to all of the documents related to this event, and she knew about our relationship. She offered what comfort she could.

That night I didn't bother dressing up, though Gaara dressed in his nice coat, and I trailed behind him in the shadows instead of by his side like I normally did. As he mingled I averted my eyes, tuning into him so that I knew he was okay, and fulfilling my duty, but really not wanting to be there. I heard the sounds of conversation, of his mellow voice as he talked to all those women, one of whom might be spending the rest of her life by his side, where I thought I would be, and I clenched my fists, so hard that my nails dug into my palms and made them bleed. I bit my tongue until I tasted blood, but I held back the tears, staring straight ahead and at the wall, my gaze blank and unfocused.

It hurt, unbearably so. It felt like my heart was being physically torn from my chest, and I briefly entertained the idea of continuing to be his bodyguard, but the thought of being in the shadows, watching as he kissed some other woman, as he had children, was so intensely painful that I knew that wasn't an option.

Kitty snarled in my head, demanding I fight for him. _**You can't just give up Kitten! There has to be a way…**_

I ignored her, too numb now to acknowledge the hope she offered and instead considered the idea of just disappearing, after he had chosen a wife, resigning my post as his bodyguard, and then…disposing of myself.

I glanced down at my arm, noting the crest, and figured I would have to find a way to undo that jutsu. I didn't want him to be able to track down my final resting place. I didn't want him to suffer. I wanted to remove myself as painlessly as possible from his life. Perhaps I would be able to find some jutsu that would erase his feelings for me, and then he wouldn't hurt. And of course, I would need to find a new vessel for Kitty, I wouldn't kill her. That would be the last thing I did.

Kitty yowled in my head, screaming at me. **NO REN!**

The sadness in her voice pained me, almost cracking open the hollow shell I had built around my heart to protect myself from the agony. I didn't want to give her up any more than she wanted to be separated from me, but I simply wouldn't be responsible for her death. The more I thought about it, the less pain I felt, strangely, to there was still a dull aching in my chest. I grew colder and colder inside, slowly losing pieces of myself as I reconciled myself to my choice.

As I numbly figured out the logistics of my own suicide, a hand wrapped around me, grabbing me on my neck, and a jutsu was cast. I was abruptly paralyzed, completely and utterly unable to move or make a sound, and then within the span of a second I found myself in a scroll. That was weird, it was like being paralyzed, being sealed in a scroll, but quite a bit more uncomfortable. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Shortly I was released and I collapsed onto the ground, wheezing.

"Sorry Ren, I know that was unpleasant, but I couldn't have you putting up a fuss."

I looked up in shock. "G-Granny Hitachiin?!"

"We're here to help you Ren, there's no time to explain, but behave or I'll have to paralyze you again."

I blinked at her, utterly bewildered and a little scared. I had no idea she had that sort of power, to nullify my own within a heartbeat. She snapped her fingers and the twins leaped forward out of nowhere, murmuring soothing words, and I relaxed a little. They forced me to change, and when my limbs were stiff with shock, they assisted, forcibly switching out my clothing.

I was numb and going into a deep state of shock at the abrupt new situation. But mostly, I was just blank and unable to comprehend anything anymore. After the pain had passed, being in utter despair will make you numb apparently, so I just let them do as they wished. They tutted over the state of my eyes, how red and dismal they looked, and poked and prodded me with all sorts of things, stuffing me into a white dress and putting on makeup super-fast. I didn't pay attention, aside from the numb, absentminded noting of the color, to what exactly they put me into, or what they put onto my face.

And then I was being dragged back out. The twins bracketed me on either side, and I dully noted that they were also wearing white, very fancy tunics, with black trim, and the Hitachiin crest was emblazoned onto their backs, a very handsome fire flower burning bright red. I also dully noted that Lady Hitachiin was wearing something similar, in her case a gorgeous white kimono. I was practically frog marched back out to the party, between the twins, behind Lady Hitachiin, and I found myself next to a group of people, who also seemed to be wearing their clan colors and crests, very stylishly. As I numbly looked around, having studiously avoided looking before, I noted the layout, how it seemed there was almost a greeting line, not really a line, but sort of a polite gathering of people from various clans, waiting to be seen and mingle with the Kazekage. Which would make sense, I thought, my heart dropping to my feet. After all, this was supposed to be an auction block, a nice selection of brides for Gaara to choose from.

I went back into numb mode. I didn't know what the twins or Granny were up to, but I hated being forced to socialize with the other women, couldn't bear to look into their faces and wonder if she was going to be sharing Gaara's bed soon. The numbness broke a little and I almost ran out, right then and there, unable to take the pain much longer, my brain utterly dumb with the coldness, and I wasn't able to function any more. But Kaoru and Hikaru held me tightly between them. They had seen this expression in my face before, it was the same one of mild panic and shock and confusion that I got after a nightmare, when I was awake but utterly confused about what was real.

"Hold on Ren, it will make sense soon enough." Kaoru whispered in my ear and I just looked at him with glazed eyes, unseeing but turning my face towards the familiar sound.

As we got closer to the place where the Kazekage was greeting guests, and I began to pick up his voice engaging in female voices in pleasant conversation, I felt the distinct unpleasant and hereto unknown sensation of either my mind or my heart melting and dripping out of my ears, the pain behind my eyes intense now from the emotional distress and confusion.

I could hear everyone else socializing around us, keeping up the charade of a social gathering despite the obvious purpose. I could also hear murmurs start to circulate, as some of the women from our village began to whisper.

"Wait, haven't I seen her before?"

"Isn't she Gaara's body guard? Why is she here?"

"Yes she is! Look at the crest on her arm!"

"Why is she wearing those colors, and the Hitachiin crest?"

"Who is she anyway?"

Something sparked in my dull mind, an idea that tried to form, but was doing it so sluggishly that I wasn't entirely sure what it was. I was trying to put two and two together and coming up with a pineapple. _Why am I here? Why am I dressed up like all these other women? Why are we approaching Gaara? No. Wait just a minute…_

My brain started functioning again, just a little, as we made the final approach. _They don't seriously think I'm fit to be…what are they….the fuck…?_ My brain was a scrambled mess of questions, which were only slightly more lucid than before as the shock started to wear off.

I was blocked by Granny as she stood before Gaara, and I shivered as I heard his voice say with some surprise, "Lady Hitachiin?!"

I wouldn't blame him, after all she was way too old to be pursuing him as a husband. I snorted at the thought, driven somewhat silly in the head by my hysteria, and that sound had Gaara's head popping to the side to look around her. I guess my snort was rather distinctive for him to be able to recognize it so easily.

"Lord Gaara, thank you so much for this marvelous social gathering!" Granny gushed, playing right along with everyone else. I didn't think I had ever heard her use that sweetly sarcastic tone before, but it was perfect, and almost made me giggle. Apparently, I had officially lost my marbles. "I don't know if I have ever formally introduced my granddaughter, Lady Ren Hitachiin?" I gaped at the back of her head at being called that. _Since when was I a lady?_

There were several council members around Gaara, hovering and probably laying on the pressure and they sputtered, taken aback. Meanwhile Granny stepped aside to expose me to view, and a hush fell through the crowd. I stared at Granny, helplessly confused. Gaara stared at Granny, in a similar state of befuddlement.

While we reassembled our brains one of the heads of another prestigious household picked a fight with Granny, saying in a hushed tone, "Now Lady Hitachiin, as amusing as this farce is, everyone knows that _that_ is his bodyguard." She almost spat the word _that_ , and I bristled.

"Excuse me _dear_ Cecelia? But _that_ is my granddaughter, and has been for a long time, haven't you ever noticed the crest she always wears around her throat?" Granny Hitachiin said sweetly with an edge to her tone that said she wanted to murderize the bitch.

The lady peered at me and then sucked in her breath as she looked more closely at the jewelry that everyone had seen me wear, every day, but it seemed no one had really payed any attention as to what exactly it was.

After waiting an appropriate amount of time to let that new information sink in, Granny Hitachiin laid another bomb shell. "Of course, being the last remaining heir to the Ametsuchi Clan, she holds her own titles."

"The Ametsuchi Clan? But the last two members were killed 15 years ago! Everyone knows that."

"Oh but that's where you're wrong…" Granny Hitachiin said smoothly, with an acidic sweet note to her voice. "After all, they had a daughter, and she was never found. Ren here is that child. After all, she carries the Ametsuchi sword, Kamikaze." I had wondered why they had strapped my sword to my back with a fancy black belt.

Everyone seemed shocked and amazed by this new information, and hushed murmurs filled the room.

After a moment of staring at Granny in shock, my gaze swung over to Gaara, who likewise looked at me, and we both probably had the same utterly bewildered looks like, ' _what the hell just happened?_ ' Gaara caught on before I did, probably because I had whiplash so bad by now that I was as dumb as a doorknob.

His eyes went from confused to happy and then burned brightly with excitement. I had absolutely no way to react fast enough when he swiftly hooked a hand around the back of my neck and dragged me in for a kiss. I yelped, totally surprised, again, and then my mind went bye-bye as I instinctively melted into the kiss despite the chaos inside me.

Pandemonium broke out around us, and after the brief, but intense kiss, he pulled back and we watched as everyone fussed at everyone else. I laughed, all the tension easing out of me as I slowly realized what had happened. I felt as light as a feather, practically giddy, and even all the hostility and chaos that abounded around us couldn't bring me down. Eventually everyone calmed down enough to wrap up the charade of a party and we were released, the council I guess just giving up, or else satisfied now.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

"Posted right on schedule!"

 _Otherworldly voice mutters something only she can hear._

"Say what!? Yesterday?! Well what happened to yesterday? Did yesterday just disappear?"

 _More voices say things that no one else hears._

"Oh come off it…I'm sure I'm on time…"

 _Otherworldly protests grow louder._

"Eep! Fine! Fine…my apologies."

…..

...author doesn't notice how everyone in the vicinity has moved several feet away from her and are looking at her askance….

...

Sorry folks! I know I said I'd post this yesterday, but somehow yesterday went poof…dunno where it went…maybe it was those cosmic bandits again. They always get me.

Just one or two more chapters to go!


	88. Burn With Me: Chapter 74

So in the end, everything worked out. It was a close call, but thankfully we somehow managed to survive, and we were both left feeling shaky and relieved. After the party I found Granny Hitachiin and gave her a big hug, thanking her profusely, and she just laughed and said, "Happy to help dear. Now go with your fiancé and get out of here."

I blushed, so incredibly happy and giddy that I was downright dizzy with it all. Right on cue Gaara appeared out of nowhere and hauled me off to our apartment, which was a fantastic idea because I couldn't really bear the thought of staying here a moment longer. We were finally alone and safely behind locked and barricaded doors, which we had both swiftly locked together, feeling as if we had barely escaped and didn't want to risk being ambushed or something. It felt like we had escaped that horror by the skin of our teeth.

I took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh, sitting down on the floor and waiting for the world to stop spinning. "Holy hell…I can't believe it…" I trailed off into laughter, still too giddy to be considered fully sane.

Gaara joined me with his deep chuckle and sat beside me on the floor. After a moment he said, "Your grandmother really is something.

I sighed, again, plopping back onto the ground and staring up at the ceiling, still unable to stop smiling.  
"Yeah, she really is."

We stayed like that for a long moment before I turned to him and asked curiously, "So…did you actually consider any of those women as a potential bride? I know I told you to think about it, but I wasn't sure if you'd actually go through with it."

Gaara heaved a sigh, sounding somber. "I…tried. I recognized what you said, and though it pains me to say…I did try to consider them as potential brides. But it just didn't compute, my heart simply wouldn't allow me to think about it with any amount of seriousness, every time I got close it felt like my chest would break. So in the end, I doubt I would have been successful, and the council would have probably chosen for me."

I hummed, relieved though even if he had said that he had found someone I probably wouldn't have minded too much since that had been the situation at the time. But at the same time I wasn't at all surprised, because if I had been in his position I probably would have tried and failed too, in exactly the same way.

"Yeah, that's sort of what I figured would happen…" I murmured, looking up at him.

He glanced down at me and his eyes softened, the love shining brightly, no longer shadowed with fear. He leaned down and kissed me gently. Saying without words how much he loved me and how happy he was that this was all over and we were finally openly together and no one could tear us apart. No more words were spoken for a long time aside from the ones that were garbled and moaned and would have made very little sense to anyone listening in on us, but made perfect sense to each other.

It was all very slow and gentle this time around, utterly relaxed and completely devoid of the fears that had been plaguing our alone time lately and had made our lovemaking so rough and urgent. Tonight was all joy, and we happily lost ourselves in one another for many minutes, maybe even hours.

The mats left some very interesting impressions in our skin , and once we were done I found myself laughing as I took in the patchwork of patterns strewn all over us.

After the amusement faded we eventually made it to the bed and rested, curled up together and relaxing. I hummed, tracing the fading patterns I could feel on Gaara's side, and eventually murmured, "So…I guess we're engaged now huh?"

"Mm." He hummed, his version of 'yes' in Gaara speak.

"I guess that means we have to plan a wedding…" I sighed, not really looking forward to that nonsense. "…more paperwork…" I mumbled into his skin.

The deep purr that had been rumbling in his chest stopped and then he burst out laughing and I looked up at him in shock and delight. I was still amazed whenever he actually laughed, carefree and open like this. It was always one of the most beautiful things, and I would get caught mesmerized watching and listening to him laugh.

After a good moment he settled down to an amused chuckle and sputtered, "You never cease to surprise me Ren. I was under the impression that women usually are insanely excited at the prospect of planning a wedding."

I huffed. "But it means we have to arrange a place and time and decorations and dress and all that other shit and stuff. AND you know the twins are going to be impossible and give me a makeover and take me shopping…" I trailed off shuddering.

Gaara sputtered a few more laughs and then wrapped his arms more tightly around my body and hugged me closer to him, nuzzling his whole face down into the top of my head. "I love you so much…I can't imagine being stuck with some prissy, nonsensical woman with the rest of my life…I would go insane."

I giggled. "I can just imagine, your face all long suffering and waiting for her to get dressed and put her makeup on and dragging you to stores and fussing over which shoes to buy. And then you'd eventually throw a temper tantrum and would swamp the store with sand."

He chuckled some more and we fell into peaceful silence, which soon turned into sleep.

The next morning I woke to Gaara's hand stroking my long ponytail from the base of my skull to as low he could reach on my back, in long slow gentle strokes. I hummed happily, snuggling into him for a few more seconds of lazy sleep, before yawning and cracking open my eyes to peer up at him.

"Yesterday wasn't a dream right?" I murmured drowsily.

He shook his head and gently smiled down at me. I returned the grin and cuddled into him again. We dozed for just a little longer, until we were awakened by a loud sound, which was the front door being opened with a bang. We both jerked, confused and bewildered by the sound, especially considering the fact that we had definitely locked the door last night.

I frowned, and looked up at Gaara, who was scowling at the semi-closed bedroom door, daring whoever it was to come in and disturb us. "Who has the keys to your apartment?" I asked.

Without glancing down at me, his eyes remaining firmly fixed on the door he growled, "Temari and Kankuro."

No sooner had he said that than the sound of Temari's voice came through the door saying, "Helloooo! I'm coming in so cover up anything you don't want me to see!"

For some reason, the blanket was completely off the bed, somewhere, probably in a bundle under the bed, and there wasn't any time to grab it. Thankfully Gaara's sand came to the defense, once again proving its usefulness in all areas of life in general, and swooped up over the bed in a wave, settling around our hips and my lower back, covering all the nether areas. I was laying on my front, so it was covered as well.

The sand settled in place right as the door opened, and Gaara let loose with a really nasty growl. I turned my face to the side and looked at Temari over my shoulder, giving her a questioning sort of stink eye.

Her expression was so amusing that I momentarily lost my displeasure at her barging in. At first she stared with open mouthed shock, and then close mouthed bewilderment, and I assumed that it was probably because of the sand.

"What in the hell kind of kinky shit do you two get up to at night?" She finally sputtered.

The comment had me sitting up and turning towards her, and the sand whipped up and around my upper torso to shield my breasts. I glanced down, amused by the impromptu sand bra, and glanced down at Gaara, muttering, "You know you're going to have to de-sand me again right?"

His eyes slid in my direction and he gave me a look, I snorted, both at his look and the sound of Temari choking in the background, and then I turned back to her. "Okay, first of all, why are you in our bedroom? And second of all, this is not kinky in the least, it's simply cover. And THAT'S because of you, which goes back to my first question…Why are you in here exactly?"

She ignored my question in predictable Temari style, and pursued her own train of thought. "Well…if you say so. But I will be grilling you on this later today, once we're away from my little brother and his glare."

I started asking again, why she was here when I was waylaid by Kankuro's entrance. He had his eyes covered with one hand and he came inching into the room, freezing in place at the deep menacing growl that came out of Gaara, even angrier than before. Apparently they had managed to piss him off to the point of not talking.

"Uhhhhh….Sorry, guys. Temari, is it safe to look?" He muttered, turning towards her clumsily.

She huffed. "Yes, it's perfectly fine."

He uncovered his eyes, glanced at us, (obviously naked and covered in sand) and he yelped, turning his back to us. "I thought you said it was safe?!" he barked.

I sighed, "Okay, seriously, tell us what you're doing here. Preferably before Gaara kills you."

"We're here to help with the wedding preparations! Of course. I'm going to take you, Ren, and we're going to meet up with the twins and go shopping for a wedding dress and all the decorations, flowers, food, cake, accessories, and place. Kankuro here is going to take your place as Gaara's body guard for the next week or so as we pull this thing together."

"Wait…wait just a…did you say a week?! As in, this wedding is happening in a week?! A WEEK?!" I sputtered, yelped, and then yowled, channeling some of Kitty, who was mostly cranky because she hadn't gotten morning sex.

"Woah, tone it down. Yes. A Week. Do you seriously want to give the council enough time to come up with something hinky? You know they have the capabilities."

I paused. "Good point." And then I turned to Gaara, who was still glaring at the two of them with his unblinking angry gaze. I leaned somewhat to the side to get a look at his face and waved a hand in front of him. "Hey…earth to Gaara? Hello?" When his eyes shifted to me, softening slightly with a question, I continued. "Okay, I know you're in silent-angry-mode and all, but what do you think? Does a week sound like enough time? Or do you want longer?"

He narrowed his eyes, glanced at the two siblings still standing at the door and then looked back at me. He flicked his fingers dismissively towards them and a wall of sand rose up in front of us, swiftly shoving them out the door and sealing it shut, to the sound of their sputtered protests.

Then he relaxed and the sand that was covering us slid off and back into his gourd. "Why wouldn't it be enough time? Enough time for what?" He asked in response to my question.

I blinked. "Well…enough time for you to be a bachelor I guess? I don't know…I mean marriage is a big step I suppose." I mused, although to be honest it didn't really feel all that big. Signing that contract had attached me to him more strongly than marriage, but on the other hand, it would be official then and would keep off all the fan girls. To me it was mostly a shield.

He just stared at me. "I'm fine with getting married today if that's what you wanted." He said straightforwardly.

I startled a little then grinned. "Well good! Then I guess I'll go with Temari and get it all set up as quickly as possible. I really think the sooner the better. Like Temari said, we don't want any funny business with the council"

Gaara nodded in agreement. "Let's set the date one week from today. I'll mail out invitations to our allies and friends."

I grinned. "Alrighty then, guess I'd better get dressed."

Gaara's eyes slid down my body, growing heated with that particular look I had grown very familiar with and I quickly slid out of bed before he could get any ideas. I heard him huff as I quickly set to putting on clothes and getting ready for the day.

After I was ready to go, Gaara dropped the sand shield, and I walked out and ushered an inflamed Temari along with me, putting up with her grumbling for the entirety of the way down and out of the Kazekage tower.

"Okay, so what's first?" I asked Temari as we walked down the street.

"Well, we're meeting Kaoru and Hikaru at the dress shop first. Then we have to look for accessories and makeup, though I'm sure they already have everything they need in that regards."

"Yeah, undoubtedly." I muttered darkly and Temari laughed.

We met up with the twins at the store and they immediately jumped me, hugging me and fussing over me and talking in voices an octave higher than usual with excitement as they exclaimed over how exciting it was that I was going to be married! I was unable to resist being caught up in the infectious excitement and joy and was actually able to get into the spirit of it as the owner of the store ushered us to a private back room.

"Welcome my Lady! We are so pleased that you chose us! Please, make yourself comfortable!"

I was surprised by the luxury, the comfy couches surrounding a little pedestal, presumably for me to stand on, with four huge mirrors standing before it. Someone rolled in a rack of dresses doubtless for me to try on, someone else brought in other boxes and chests full of who knows what, but everything was beautiful, and then someone even brought in a tray of drinks and snacks.

Immediately I was asked to stand on the pedestal, and someone took my measurements, which was a tad awkward, but overall didn't bother me.

"Do you have any preference of style for the dress Ren?" Kaoru asked while glancing through the dresses that had been brought out.

I thought about it for a moment. "Well…I guess it would be easiest if it didn't have a low neckline. And of course I would prefer not to go backless. Other than that…not really."

The dress attendants looked surprised. One sputtered, "Oh! But you are the bride of the Kazekage! Surely someone with such fine upbringing and wealth…"

Seems like they had the wrong idea about me, but no one corrected her.

I just shrugged and Kaoru and Hikaru took over as usual. They searched through the dresses, pulling out a few and sending back others, and soon they wanted me to try things on. I sighed, this being the part I didn't really like, and shrugged out of my armor which I guess wasn't really necessary for me to be wearing, but I had put it on out of habit.

I slid off my skirt and stood in my snug black pants and snug black shirt. "Is it okay for me to just try stuff on like this?" I asked, not overly comfortable with the idea of undressing in front of complete strangers.

Temari shook her head. "Absolutely not! And you'll need to take off your breast bands as well."

I heaved a sigh, expecting as much, and slid off my pants first, since there were less scars there and that was more comfortable for me. I hesitated a brief second and then just shrugged, deciding I didn't really give a damn anyways. Before I slid my shirt off though, there was a knock at the door and my mother, grandmother, and aunt stuck their heads in the door.

"Mind if we join?" Mother Hitachiin asked, almost sounding shy.

I was startled, but overall quite happy at their company and so I grinned and said, "Sure! Come right in!"

They joined us and soon there was laughter and conversation amongst Temari and the women in my wonderful adoptive family. I smiled happily, but then stalled, realizing that this was only three more people that would now see my scars. But to be honest, I didn't really care if my family saw them. So after a deep breath I went ahead and shrugged off my shirt, swiftly undoing the bandages wrapped around my chest as well.

"First we will need to get her a proper bra. She won't be going strapless." Kaoru informed one of the attendants, who had frozen in shock at seeing my fantastic array of scars adorning my upper body. She snapped out of it, stuttering, "s-sure…" Glancing back at me and then going over to a chest that had been brought in. She selected several and brought them over to me, her eyes drawn to my reflection against her will obviously, and she measured my chest while trying not to stare in shock at the large jutsu seal between my breasts.

The room was eerily quiet for a good few minutes while she found me the right size and handed it to me. I had no idea how to properly put it on, but I figured the cups were for my breasts and the straps for my arms, so I put it on awkwardly.

Temari hopped up and assisted, latching it closed in the back and then instructing me on how to properly adjust my breasts inside the cups. "You have to fall into it! No, no, lean over, like this and let them fall into the cups. Yes. Like that. Good job Ren! You've just put on your first bra!"

I snorted amused and swatted at her jokingly. She laughed and danced off the pedestal. Our joking broke the tension a little, but it was still there and there was still a lot of quiet and a lot of staring. I knew the news of my scarred body was going to be circulating soon.

"Alrighty then!" Hikaru exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Neither brother felt awkward about being around me when I was undressed. With the amount of dressing they had done to me, it had been inevitable that they had seen things. And that's not even including the fact that we had been on the same team for years and had gone on innumerable missions together, so we were all perfectly comfortable with each other in a way most people weren't.

Kaoru examined the bra and declared it to be a perfect fit, so we continued the shopping venture. They started having me try on various dresses, and while I stepped in and out of every kind of skirt imaginable, pulling up every sort of style of bodice, talking began to happen.

The conversation was started by Granny Hitachiin. "So, Ren, I'm guessing that large sealing jutsu is for …what did you call her? Kitty was it?"

I blinked at her, somewhat surprised by her rather strait forward approach. "Um…yes."

"It's quite fascinating, I've never seen anything like it before. Is it one jutsu? Or two sealing jutsus overlaid on top of each other?"

I relaxed as the elephant in the room was addressed. "Actually two. I have no idea what the red one is, but it was done by the group that kidnapped me. I'm assuming they were a cult of some sort. The blue one is Gaara's contribution. The original seal was very unstable, and he used Shukaku's seal to lock it shut."

There was a slight stutter in the activity in the room at my casual mentioning of Shukaku.

"Shukaku's seal you say? How fascinating. I thought it looked familiar. That is a very powerful seal, I can see why it stabilized the jutsu mark."

"Yes, it helped a lot."

There was a brief pause and then she continued. "You also have quite the collection of battle trophies I see. I'm impressed."

I was once again shocked. I had never heard scars referred to as trophies before.

"Trophies? You mean my scars? That's an interesting way to put it."

"Well, what else would you call them? After all, they are simply there to remind you that you survived and how strong you are to have survived such grievous injuries, which must be marks of powerful opponents, knowing your skills."

I almost got a little tearful, but sniffed back the moisture. "Thank you." I murmured softly.

"Not at all my dear. As ninja, we all have scars." She calmly reached down to the hem of her dress and pulled it up, just enough to see her left ankle. There was a rope of red, wrinkly skin that wrapped around it and rose up her leg, disappearing under her skirt. "This one for instance is my best trophy." She announced, dropping her skirt and then reaching up to tug her neckline to the side just a tad to show the end of what was obviously the same scar as it wrapped over her shoulder. The thing must span her entire body. I stared in shock. I couldn't imagine what had caused it. She answered my unspoken question, "It was a molten band of metal, the ninja who wielded it commanded it like a sword and could bend it in any manner he chose with a kekkei genkai fire and earth style. He was my toughest opponent, but I'm happy to say that by the end of the battle, I had this scar, and he had no body to have a scar."

I huffed a shocked and amazed laugh, completely able to believe the story given her recent demonstration of powers on me. "Wow. Well, that is impressive. I don't have anything nearly that impressive I'm afraid."

"That segmented one that looks like a centipede over your back and shoulder is pretty impressive." Mother Hitachiin pointed out.

Hikaru added, "Yes, actually I've always wondered about that one. How did you survive it? It looks like it should have severed your spine."

"Oh, this one? It was from that blue sword of Seimei's from the Village of Artisans. I'm not exactly sure how it didn't sever my spine, but it sure hurt like heck, I remember that."

"And you continued to fight afterwards, punching a hole in the top of a metal dome reinforced with chakra." Temari added.

"Oh yeah, I've told you the story before haven't I?"

She nodded. "Yep, I already knew by then that you loved Gaara, but I definitely knew after that. That you would go to such lengths to save him never ceases to amaze me."

I grinned, flushing a little.

"So wait, you fought after receiving that wound?" Hikaru asked and then whistle low and impressed at my affirmative nod.

After that it was show and tell and everyone finally relaxed. I continued to try on dresses as I chatted with everyone. Mother Hitachiin showed us a scar that ran across the back of her neck, Aunt Hitachiin showed off a scar that wrapped around her elbow. Temari showed off the scar on her upper thigh.

"I think I like having my crest show." I noted as I looked at a sleeveless version of a wedding dress on me, motioning to my arm and shoulder with the crest that linked me to Gaara showing proud.

"Alright, do you want the scar on your other arm covered by something?" One of the attendants asked, finally having gotten comfortable asking questions like that.

I thought about it. "Maybe?"

So we went through a whole new set of options, both one-sleeved and sleeveless. We also explored the possibility of one-gloved. After a while, I decided that trying to hide my scars was ridiculous, and so we stopped trying on dresses with a single sleeve, because I thought they all looked a bit awkward.

After a while of trying on dress after dress, all of them pretty, and really any of them would be fine with me, I was starting to get tired of trying on dresses. I wasn't sure what exactly Hikaru and Kaoru were looking for, but they insisted that when we found the right dress, I would know. It was something of a romantic notion, but everyone present confirmed it and said that choosing a wedding dress was very important, so I continued.

I was in the process of taking off the last one I tried on, once again finding it lovely but not having any special romantic feelings about it, and I happened to overhear Kaoru and Hikaru grumbling over the selection.

"No…no…tried that one…maybe…none of them look right…"

"Did we try this one?"

"Yes…wait…no…wait…yes, that was the second one we tried."

"Are you sure? Did it have a sweetheart neckline?"

"Yes. I'm sure, but what about this one?"

"No it doesn't have the right bodice shape."

"True."

And then a new voice joined them, and I listened in on the conversation, while trying to take off the darn pettiskirts without tripping over myself.

"Here, let me have a look!" Temari's voice was slightly exasperated, apparently she had had enough of the twins ridiculousness.

"Sure, sure, there's plenty to go around."

I finally was able to disentangle myself and an attendant, who had been helpfully assisting me in attempting to remove myself from the clingy puffy garment, took it away. As I straitened up and shoved my loose hair out of my sweaty face, I heard Temari make some sort of excited noise, and Kaoru and Hikaru hustled over to her. I turned around to observe them, noting their backs as they huddled around a dress.

"This one is beautiful! Why hasn't she tried this one?" Temari asked, sounding ecstatic.

"Oh, well it is one of the prettiest ones here for sure, but look at the back."

"Well…I suppose so, but why not try it on anyways?" Temari persisted.

"Hmmm…you know, you might have a point. It does look like it would fit her perfectly, and it would suit her so well."

"All right, let's try it."

They brought it over to me, and I got a good look at the dress they had been stewing over. I could see why there had been some concerns, particularly about the back. It was pretty much exactly what I had said I wouldn't wear, and yet, it really was pretty.

"Why don't you try it on at least? I mean, if you like it, we could probably alter it in some way, or have some lace put in, or maybe cover it with a veil."

"We could use some more of the makeup on your back…" Hikaru said, though he looked a tad doubtful. I would imagine that the scars on my back were so thick that the makeup would have to be applied with a spackling knife.

I shrugged, not seeing the harm in just trying it on. I stepped into it and they helped pull it up over my hips. It fit perfectly, perhaps better than any of the others although they were all a wonderful fit. I turned to look at myself in the mirror after everything had been adjusted and was surprised by how beautiful it looked.

The neckline was sort of what I believe Kaoru called a 'sweetheart' neckline. The point stopped right above my sealing jutsu mark about an inch or two below my collarbone, and then it swooped up in an open curved V to a little below my collarbones and then curved up to go over my shoulders at a little bit of an angle. The straps that went over the middle of my shoulders were about two inches wide and made of a gorgeous, floral, open-weave lace that didn't hide anything at all. The lace shoulder straps seamlessly attached to the white satin bodice and wrapped around the neckline. The floral, soft white pattern curved down over the satin of the bodice, continuing under my arms and down my sides and back. The lace on the sides curled in over the satin bodice an inch or two below my breasts in a gentle curve that aligned perfectly with my waist, and the pattern of lace was perfectly suited to do so. The open pattern of swirls and floral patterns tightened a little, almost making a circular nucleus on my sides right where the dip of my waist was, and then the pattern swirled outwards from there in a radiating floral sunburst type of thing. The white satin of the bodice was a pearly white that was almost shimmery, and the non-lace covered parts made sort of an hourglass shape, over my breasts curving in at the waist and then back out a little over my hips, highlighting my figure in a surprising way. I never knew a little lace placed over the material could accentuate the body underneath so well.

The straps curved over my shoulders and then wrapped around the backs of my shoulders, reattaching to the bodice under my arms. And naturally the open weave of the lace did nothing to cover my scars, not that I had looked yet, but I could feel how the lace barely covered any skin based on the air that touched me. The line of satin in the bodice ended under my arm pits, not venturing onto the skin of my back, and only curved around when it reached the tops of my hips. The line of the satin bodice ended in a V about three or four inches above my butt, literally covering none of my back. The open lace that covered the sides was more brave than the satin and ventured out further onto my back, the points of the floral design tickling my skin a little, but only covered the very edges of my back. I could only imagine that it all framed my scars wonderfully.

Around my hips was a band of pure, snowy white satin, different from the pearlescent satin of the bodice, and it wrapped around behind and curved down in the back to make another V over my butt, echoing the V where the bodice connected to the satin band around my hips. Then from under the satin band, the skirt flowed in many flowing sheer layers, the cloth of which I had no name for, but felt like cool water over my legs. It wasn't a puffy skirt in the least, but rather fell down in very gentle pleats, not crisp pleats, but more like ripples from where it had been attached under the band of satin around my hips. It flowed with my every motion, the many layers of thin, sheer material feeling heavy and light at the same time in the weirdest way. It fell into a long train behind me and touched the tips of my toes in the front, pooling around the sides.

It was really beautiful, more so than any of the others, and I spent a long time looking at my reflection in the mirrors, surprised by how lovely it was. Of course then I had to turn around, which I did with considerable care, since I didn't want to step on the train of the dress. After very carefully pivoting by shuffling my feet in place I turned to look over my shoulder. The lace that wrapped over my shoulders and then around and under again, connecting to the lace that delicately framed my entire back, was all open, extremely see-through, and didn't hide the scars on my shoulders in the least, the white floral pattern of the lace only competing with the white patchwork of the rough scars. The long centipede scar that sliced across my back was entirely visible, only somewhat disappearing under the lace over my right shoulder, but still quite easily seen even there.

My first reaction was to grimace, frustrated that this beautiful dress would be unwearable simply because of the imperfections of my body. I glared at the marks in my skin, remembering the pain behind each one. But then, something within me shifted and I remembered what Granny Hitachiin had said, calling them 'trophies.' I looked at them with new eyes.

Each mark etched into my skin was meaningful. The white pattern of star-like scars that coated my shoulders and shoulder blades in thick patches and sprinkled my entire back in white pockmarks were carved into me shortly before I first met Gaara. And each wound had been touched by him as he dug every piece of glass out of me. The thick, shiny pale skin that made up the segmented scar from Seimei's sword was from a wound that had split the flesh of my back while I protected Gaara, as was the spiral shaped scar on my left arm from where I tried to break him free of that cage. The larger, clearly round scars that were present in pairs on my shoulders, forearms, collarbones, and torso were from a mission that Gaara had given to me as Kazekage, and had each been kissed by him afterwards. The strange diamond scar that was behind my left shoulder blade and was an odd lavender color was where Sasori had stabbed me with his poisonous tail, which had been when I was on my way to save Gaara from being chakra-sucked to death. And of course the line of scars down my back were from Kitty's spines, and the two long, thin scars on either shoulder blade were from her wings.

So really, my back was a mess and you couldn't really tell what was going on, but at the same time it was like a roadmap of my life, and the scars were like destinations on that map. Most of those destinations involved Gaara in some way, and since this was our wedding, perhaps it would be appropriate to show them off. Gaara had never shied away from them, and had even at one point said that he thought they were beautiful, so maybe…

 _ **The marks on your pelt are all from things that made you who you are today…don't shy away from yourself Kitten.**_

I blinked, almost getting teary eyed at what Kitty said. _Thanks Kitty._

 _ **Anytime.**_

I took a deep breath and said, "I think this is the right dress. Maybe it's time for my back to get some fresh air."

My announcement was met with silence, and then the room was full of various sounds of support.

Temari whooped, saying, "Flaunt your bad self!"

Kaoru first hovered around me, whispering worriedly in my ear, "You don't need to do this if it makes you uncomfortable…" And I knew he was concerned that I had pushed myself to make this decision.

I turned and gave him a smile saying quietly, "Thank you Kaoru, but I just realized that almost every scar on my body has to do with Gaara, either protecting him, or being protected by him. It's our history, and I want it to be seen, just this once. After all, I am a ninja, and the bodyguard of the Kazekage, who would expect me to not have scars?"

He blinked and then returned the smile gently, saying, "Well then, I think the dress looks lovely on you."

Hikaru puffed out his chest and said proudly, "The dress is perfect! That's the one!"

Granny Hitachiin smiled broadly, and I turned to her and mouthed, "thank you," knowing that she would know it was for what she had said earlier about my scars. Her smile widened and her eyes glittered, and she nodded, mouthing back just one word. "Gorgeous."

Mother Hitachiin got all teary eyed and said, "I'm so proud of you Ren!"

Aunt Hitachiin announced loudly, "This is a momentous day for the entire Hitachiin Clan! The wedding of our Ren to the Kazekage!"

The attendants all seemed a bit hesitant at my choice at first, but after having heard all the goings on from the dress-fitting session, they all began to smile and congratulate me as well, and there was no longer that strange distant look in their eye, or the stiff bearing that signified someone who was holding themselves upright and proper and distant from a high-bred, or noble, untouchable person. Now they looked at me as if I was one of their own.

The wife of the Kazekage didn't rule, not like a queen does with a king, but she still was a person of importance to the village, and everyone knows that she advises the Kazekage. So it was important for the village to accept me, and this small step here in this shop made my heart sing.

The attendants helped me out of the dress and everyone celebrated with a glass of sake, which was the first time I had ever had any, and frankly I thought it tasted foul. After the toast, we went back to business, and though I had thought I was done, apparently I wasn't.

First I had to find a bra that was backless for the dress. I didn't even know there was such a thing until they brought it out. It looked like a bra, with two cups and everything, but it had no straps, no back, and was held up by some sticky stuff. I tried it on, grimacing at the unusual sensation of sticky around my boobs, but apparently it fit well because everyone gave me the all clear on that. And then they had me try on some sort of belt thing, that strapped around my hips and had little dangly strings with snaps on them. I had no idea what it was for, but I obliged and put it on. Apparently the little straps that were now hanging down my thighs were to hold up sheer white silk stockings, that I was then forced into.

And then they had me try on shoes, which was a bit daunting considering the wide variety. I finally settled on shoes with a little heel in the back and white satin straps across the top. They seemed simple enough and matched the dress.

After all of that they then brought out the veils and I was once again shocked by the sheer array of variations I could choose from. I somewhat dizzily decided on a long, sheer train veil with some sparkles imbedded in the gauzy material near the top, and that could be attached under a bun. I figured it would trail behind me with the train of my dress, and though I was tempted for a brief moment, I didn't choose any of the veils that might have obscured the back of my dress. This one was so long it would be caught up in my train and would not lie down against my back, and even if it did, it was so sheer it wouldn't do anything to hide my back.

We picked some sparkles that would match the veil to put in my hair and I left the accessories up to Kaoru and Hikaru to choose. I was much too exhausted to pick out anything else. Shopping for what I was going to wear down the aisle had taken all day practically and by the time we were finished it was time to go home already. Which was fine with me, because such extensive shopping had tired me out in a way I was still utterly unfamiliar with.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Just one more chapter! Later on I plan to write a final ending, but for now it will end after the wedding. Sorry it took so long to post, things happened, as they always do. Plus I went on vacation for the last two weeks, and it's tough to write on a road trip, let me tell you.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this latest chapter!


	89. Burn With Me: Chapter 75

Temari and I went back to my apartment, where Temari said she would be bunking with me to keep Gaara and me separated, as was tradition. I thought that was a load of bull-hocky, but played along for funzies.

"So why is this tradition again?" I asked that night as we got ready for bed.

"Brushing our teeth?" She garbled around a toothbrush, and I busted out laughing.

"No, Stupid, the whole not sleeping with Gaara thing." I finally managed to respond after catching my breath.

She snorted. "Well, you're not supposed to have sex before the wedding. Technically speaking you're supposed to be a virgin for these sorts of political marriages."

I scowled. "That's dumb. So what am I supposed to do? Re-virginize myself somehow?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I sort of assumed you weren't. But according to protocol, you're supposed to have a chaperone a week before the wedding to make sure you don't get up to any funny business."

I puffed air out of my mouth and rolled my eyes. "And then the wedding night? How's anyone supposed to know the bride was a virgin anyways? It's not like someone from the council is going to be present or anything after all."

"Well…no. Not exactly. But sometimes they do require someone to be in the room next door and uh…listening in…to make sure the marriage is, you know, consummated. Usually it's the chaperone of the bride. And then the happy couple is supposed to give the newly consummated sheets to the "witness." To make sure she's a virgin."

I blinked and gaped at her. "So wait…back up. This chaperone, "witness" person, which I guess in this case is you right?" I paused and she nodded, "Sits in the living room and listens in on the married couple having sex, to make sure that sex does happen?" She nodded again. I blinked some more and then added, "And why the sheets?"

"Virgins bleed." She responded simply.

"OH! Right." I had almost forgotten about that part. "So, there needs to be blood on the sheets."

"Among other things, yes." She made a disgusted face.

"So is this sheet actually going to be checked by someone?"

"Usually the elders…" She sighed, sounding exasperated by the whole thing.

"So poor you…you have to carry dirty sheets to the council chamber?"

She laughed. "Usually the assigned elder is in a room close by, an official, private office if you will."

"There are no private offices on this floor."

"Yeah…I noticed. I'm just going to give him an approximate time and he'll have to wait in the hall."

"And then he deals with the sheets?"

"To be honest…I think they're bundled up and kept somewhere in the archives. I don't know why. I guess for legal purposes, if a woman is forced into a political marriage and tries to back out of it later, the consummation can be proven."

I winced. "Ugh. That's terrible. And of course, if you think about it… the fact that there's a precedent means that it happened at some point."

"True." She sighed, looking highly disturbed.

"So what's the plan exactly? On the wedding night are you seriously going to have to bunk in the living room?"

"Well…for the first round at least." She shrugged.

I sputtered and then laughed. And then after some thinking I realized something else. "So this has to look realistic, because otherwise, you're going to get in trouble right?"

"Yeah. If anyone has a bone to pick with me, and calls my "witness" into question, and I stated that you guys did it and the blood looked real, and it's obviously faked, then I could get in serious trouble."

"Do these things always have to be done for political weddings?"

"Not always, but I think the elders were still ticked off at Gaara for who-knows-what reason, and are doing their best to make it unpleasant."

I sighed. "Yeah, well they succeeded. So how am I supposed to make it look realistic? I can't just drip blood onto the bed, it won't look like virgin blood. That shit is thicker and mixed with stuff."

She scrunched up her nose. "I can't really believe we're discussing this, but…maybe bleed on the sheets first and then do stuff?"

"That won't work, the blood will be so thin it will sink in and be obviously just blood under the other stuff. It has to actually be mixed somehow."

We both thought about it for a minute. "Well, maybe…this is disgusting… but, if you could collect some of the…other fluids, and then mix in the blood with that, in a jar or something, and then put that on the sheets…it wouldn't have to be much, just a little…" Temari mused, sounding thoroughly grossed out.

I scrunched up my face at the thought. "Ew. That's just…ew. But yeah, I guess that's our best option."

"You're going to have to show me the sheet, but I ain't touching it. You guys are going to have to shove it in the plastic bag."

"Okay, deal."

We finally went to sleep after our disturbing and slightly amusing conversation came to an acceptable conclusion.

The next day, there was even more stuff to take care of, so we started early and left the apartment much sooner in the morning than I would have preferred. First we went to pick out flowers, and I chose a simple bouquet of large fireflowers.

Fireflowers normally grow small, only about the size of my thumb, when grown wild in the desert. But the Hitachiins had cultivated a strand that grew larger flowers the size of my palm and we decided to use those, which was special because only the Hitachiin family could use them. The fireflowers were accompanied by clusters of some sort of delicate lacy white flower, with long tendrils of little white bell flowers that draped over my hands and fell like a lovely white waterfall of flora in front of me.

The boutonnieres were composed of a sprig of the bell flowers and a single red fireflower. Gaara's would have an extra sprig of the lacy white stuff and a little sprig of true desert fireflowers. The corsages for the ladies in the family would be similar, with white bell flowers and a single red fireflower, only made with a white ribbon to go on their wrist. The bouquets for the ladies in waiting would be a smaller version of my own, with only short sprigs of white bell flowers instead of the long draping strands. In terms of decorations, the white bell flowers and white lacy flowers would be everywhere in vases, and draped over stuff, and attached to bows and ribbons that would be on the chairs, doorknobs, and rails. It was going to be very floral.

Hikaru and Kaoru were all over it of course, being the ones in charge of the decorations, so after we picked out the flowers, Temari and I left them to talk to the owner of the flower shop and discuss all the pertinent details of what to put where, and how many, and when they would be picked up, and by whom, etc.

Temari and I hustled off to the cake maker to choose a cake. Once again, I chose something fairly simple, of course Temari pointed out it would have to be big since there would be lots of guests. So we picked out a multitiered cake with white frosting, decorated with red fireflowers and white ribbon frosting. For the chocolate cake that was supposed to be for the groom, I asked for them to put red pepper in the filling, remembering what Gaara had done to his chocolate ice cream that one time.

After that had been taken care of, we met up with the caterer that Temari had found. We discussed small finger-foods, snacks, fruit, drinks, and all the other things that would be prepared for the guests after the wedding at the reception party. This being a large political wedding, we had to make sure there was enough for everyone, and some options that would hopefully satisfy everyone, even people from other villages. So we had a pretty wide selection of various foods chosen.

Thankfully, the location of the wedding was already a given, otherwise we would have had to look into venues. Temari and I had chosen the top of the Kazekage tower as the location for the actual ceremony, with the reception to be down in the bottom floor meeting hall.

We met up with Kaoru and Hikaru again at the location and they were full tilt, whizzing around so fast in preparation that I barely got a single word out of the two of them. They were taking measurements and testing colors swatches against the color of the walls and testing colors swatches out on the flower samples and napkin samples and tablecloth samples they had accumulated and a million other things all at once. So we left them to it.

It had been another full day, and once again I was exhausted when we returned and fell into bed willingly.

The next day Temari had arranged a bridal shower for me, which was news to me. So I attended, shocked to find so many women from all over the place in one room. Already guests were arriving, and many of the friends I had made from other villages were present. Of course the entire female population of Hitachiins made a showing, as did many other prominent clans from both Suna and other villages. Many of the women had been prospective brides, and surprisingly were very friendly. As it turned out, a large majority of them had been so intimidated by Gaara that they were thankful I was to be his bride.

The shower turned out to be quite fun, with several silly games that we all played, and lots of good food and drink, and enough presents that I found myself a little daunted. I was sat down in front of a mountain of paper wrapped gifts, and didn't really know where to start. Apparently I was supposed to open them all right there.

It took a while.

There were many lovely gifts, all sorts of fancy dining equipment, decorative objects, perfumed soaps and soft towels, and lavish bed cloths. The ninja in the group had given me more practical gifts, sharp weapons of excellent craftsmanship, fantastic armor, armor polish, training equipment, and other such items that I needed. And then of course there was the lingerie. I didn't really know what to say at all the fancy, lacy, silky items that I found, some with sparkles, some with feathers, some in bright colors, and I just blushed and laughed with everyone else while I secretly planned to box them all up and hide them under the bed. They were all utterly impractical.

After the shower, Temari dragged me around while she checked on the progress of all the preparations. And that was how the next few days were spent, me following her while she took charge of the wedding, which was perfectly fine with me.

And then the day before the wedding, she took charge of me.

After my morning shower, she dragged me to a spa to fix me up. We started at the hair salon to get my hair done, where I was shampooed and conditioned and blow-dried and brushed half to death. My long hair in particular was a hassle and they combed it and brushed it until every single knot was out. At the moment my shorter layer of hair had reached my shoulders, so they combed and styled that as well.

After the hair salon, Temari dragged me to a nail salon and they put my feet in a tub of hot water and fragrant oils while they soaked my hands. Then they lotioned my skin, buffed my nails and the calluses on my hands and fingers, prodded at my cuticles, cut my fingernails, shaped them, smoothed them, painted them, and dipped them in floral smelling oils. It was all so strange I just let them do it. They repeated the whole process on my feet, only with a lot more scraping, pumicing, and buffing involved. By the end my hands hand feet were a little tingly, soft, a bit sore, but over all felt pretty good.

After that we went to another part of the spa where they plopped me down into a chair and plucked my eyebrows. It wasn't particularly pleasant, but I put up with it under Temari's stern glare. And then they took me into a private room where they slathered warm wax onto my armpits, followed by a strip of cloth, and then yanked it off with all my hair. I wasn't exactly expecting it so I responded with a large amount of cussing, mostly directed at Temari for not warning me. The technicians and Temari both laughed at my fussing and continued to make me bald. To be honest, it didn't hurt nearly as bad as many of the things I had endured, and I had a high pain tolerance, so on the scale of things it wasn't terrible. But I did consider it unnecessary and it did sting a good amount, so I continued to cuss at the room in general.

My armpits were followed by my legs, and I sat with my arms crossed, glowering at all of them while they snickered at me and generally ignored my foul attitude. I had to imagine they probably got cussed out a lot during these sorts of procedures. After they were done with my legs, they paused and asked if I wanted to have the hair between my legs removed, to which I responded with a vigorous no.

"How about it Ren? I bet it'll make Gaara's eyeballs pop out of his head." Temari said while laughing.

I scowled at her. "You do know you're talking about your little brother right? That's hardly appropriate."

She just scoffed and waved her hands dismissively. "I don't care, I still think it would be hilarious. Or! They have templates that they can make a shape, like a heart or something!" She laughed and demonstrated, making a heart with her fingers and holding it over her pubic area.

I frowned. "You mean the top part? With all the curly hair?"

"Yeah, you could have it made into a shape and then be bare everywhere else."

"Bare? Seriously? You want to make my pussy bald?" I said point blank, and was greeted by Temari almost doubling over in laughter.

Kitty huffed and disapproved, thinking that removing the little amount of body hair that I actually had was unnatural. I agreed, but at the same time it was kind of an erotic thought, to be completely naked of hair down there.

"Oh come on! It'll be great!" Temari prodded, and I sighed, deciding to give it a try, just for fun.

"What shape should I pick?" I asked a bit resignedly, knowing she was going to be a pest about it until I did it.

She laughed even more and we eventually settled on a heart, even though I thought it was a little corny, but at the same time I thought it was a little amusing and ironic given Gaara's 'love' tattoo.

And so after picking out the kind of heart I wanted, I took off my underwear and they let me situate the template over the fluff of brown hair on my pubic bone where I wanted it. They shortened the hair all around it and then applied the hot wax, which was perhaps a bit too warm there, and then proceeded with the cloths and yanking it all off. It hurt worse than my legs or armpits for sure, but it wasn't close to what I had experienced in some of my more painful moments, so I bore with it with a good amount of cussing. They did the same on the hair lower down in between my legs that covered the outer parts of my pussy, and that was seriously unpleasant. Temari stood up by my head and laughed at my discomfort, for which I cussed her out in even more colorful language and dared her to get this procedure done on herself.

After I was all finished, I winced and sat up, put on my underwear and looked pointedly at Temari. She sighed and sat where I had been sitting and chose a star for herself. She then proceeded to undergo the same process of hair removal, and cussed about the same amount I had. I thoroughly enjoyed laughing at her in reciprocation.

After we were finished, we both limped out of the hair removal place.

That night, in apology for all the torture she had put me through, she took me out, and we drank some fruity cocktails, told funny stories, and had a lot of fun. I quickly forgave her for convincing me to make a heart out of my pubes. About an hour or so in, the topic of our men came up.

"So have you and Pineapple-head ever gotten together?" I asked, ever so slightly tipsy.

She giggled, perhaps a bit tipsier than me. "Weeeeellll….maybe. During the war, some things were said…and then, I might have told him that I liked him a lot, and he might have responded by kissing me…"

"He kissed you?!" I sputtered, almost sending my fruity frozen drink up my nose.

"Yeah…well that's one way to call it. It was a little more than that to be honest, he sort of shoved me up against a wall and kissed the breath right out of my lungs…" She trailed off with a silly expression on her face.

"Shoved you up against a wall huh? Never would have thought he had it in him, he's always so cool, calm and collected…I would have thought it would be too 'troublesome'." I mused.

She laughed at the air quotes I put around Shikamaru's favorite phrase. After she got her giggling under control she managed to point out, "Cool, calm, and collected could define Gaara most of the time nowadays…"

I laughed. "Okay, true. And he has a thing with shoving me up against the wall too. Maybe it has something to do with repressed guys."

We laughed and continued gossiping in the same vein for a while. Eventually we went home, and both fell into bed.

The week of preparation had passed by so fast that my head was still spinning a little from the speed at which things had been organized for this big event. As I had told Gaara before, getting married to him wasn't a huge deal to me, after all, I was legally attached to him already by being his bodyguard. And yet…with all the hubbub and fuss that had been made about the wedding, it was starting to feel like a big deal…and it had really made me realize that maybe 'marriage' was actually a pretty huge step, even if it was a step I felt I had already kind of taken.

Even so, I was experiencing some pre-marital jitters the morning of, and woke with a bit of a start as I realized I would be getting married today.

Temari woke around the same time, turned to me and said sleepily, "…nervous?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I'm not exactly nervous…but sort of…yeah." I mumbled back.

She just chuckled and patted my shoulder in a reassuring manner and we both got out of bed to get ready. To be honest, I was also really looking forward to seeing Gaara again, I hadn't seen him all week and I really was missing him.

The wedding would be taking place in about two hours, so we hustled to the small office I had chosen to have as a preparation room before the wedding. Unfortunately, my apartment was on the fourth floor, and yet had no roof access, for security reasons obviously, so I had to choose something on the second floor where the offices would have roof access. And since that's where the wedding would take place, it would be easier for me to only have to climb three flights of stairs up to the roof from the second floor, rather than down two flights of stairs from the fourth floor to the second, and then back up three flights of stairs to the roof.

Hikaru and Kaoru met us in the prep room and they did my makeup and hair before I put on my gown, to make absolutely sure that nothing would get on it. My freshly shampooed and conditioned hair was curled and swept up into an intricate loopy bun at the back of my head from which dangled little curls, and on one side of the bun they let a thin, long strand of my ponytail cascade down my back in two or three delicate spirals they had separated and curled it into. They set the sparkles they had bought into the bun, and then attached the pin that my veil would hook onto firmly underneath the bun. Then they sprayed me with who-knows-what to make it all stay put. It all smelled good, but was a little overpowering when sprayed around my head like a misty halo.

After that was all finished, they got to work on my makeup, powdering and foundationing my face until my skin was creamy and even, then applying a little blush to my cheeks, and _then_ a very pale pink shimmery powder over that in a broader swath over my cheeks and nose. Then they put some shimmery powders and creams onto my eyelids, all of which were in a pale pink, pale gold, and opalescent white pallet. They used a dark liquid eyeliner on a teeny tiny brush on the inside rim of my lower eyelids, right behind my eyelashes, and then a gold one for right above my eyelashes on the top. Then they used dark mascara on my eyelashes, and after it had dried they used a tiny little comb to make my eyelashes all even and perfect. On my lips they applied a slightly darker pink color than was my normal lip color, and then smoothed on a pearly pink gloss over that. It was a tedious, long, delicate process that they spent much more time on than they usually would. The looks of intense concentration on their faces suggested that I was to be their masterpiece today, and they wanted everything to look just right, though they still laughed and grinned and joked with me as normal.

And then I was ushered behind a curtain to get dressed, assisted by Temari since I had been de-haired in such an interesting fashion yesterday. She had assumed correctly that I wouldn't want my brothers to see that. And apparently she had already explained the situation to them because they both congratulated me on having had my first wax job. I flushed and threw my shirt at them from over the curtain.

I disrobed down to my underwear behind the curtain, and then Temari pointed at the plain white undies and said, "Those too."

I frowned but didn't protest because she gave me that look that meant she wasn't going to budge on this one. So I simply sighed and removed them. Then she handed me a little white box, of which I was immediately suspicious. I opened it hesitantly. It contained a pair of underwear that were so delicate I wasn't sure I could put them on without destroying the garment. I frowned down at the underwear that was made entirely out of gorgeous, but rather revealing white lace, and yes, it was a thong. And on the front was the word "Bride," written in tiny little gems. Over all, it was a beautiful little thing, but it was also utterly impractical, and I had never worn a thong before in my entire life.

"Um. This is really pretty Temari, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't survive the day. This lace is way too delicate."

She laughed hysterically. "They'll survive. At least until tonight. They might not survive Gaara though."

I flushed and narrowed my eyes at her. "I have never worn a thong, nor do I have any desire to do so."

"Well, there's a first time for everything Ren. Just put on the panties."

I heaved a sigh, knowing I really didn't have enough time to argue my point, and knowing she wasn't going to allow me to put on my old underwear. I delicately picked up the underwear and stepped into it, sliding the skimpy piece of lace up my thighs and settling it in place with a bit of squirming and rearranging. It felt incredibly strange, since I was unused to wearing a thong, but overall it was relatively comfortable.

She then helped me to put on the weird no-back, no-strap bra that I would have to wear with this dress, and then with weird belt and hosiery. She assisted with the attachment of the lacy top of the hose to the little dangly straps connected to the belt, which I only now noticed matched the underwear she had given me. It was the same lace, and even had little sparkles scattered around on it in delicate patterns that complimented the lace pattern.

I heaved another sigh at the fancy lingerie that I was now wearing, still not entirely comfortable with it.

Temari helped me to step into the dress and pull it up my legs. Once it was over my hips she tore down the curtain and the boys came in to help arrange the top. After everything was on right, they stuck little sticky things under the lace at my sides to make sure it stayed where it was supposed to. We didn't want the open back to get any more open than it already was. I stepped out into the middle of the room, feeling the train of the skirt drag behind me, and shivered in a strange mixture of anticipation, rising nerves, and giddiness. Now that the dress was on, and once again I could feel how exposed my back was, it started making me feel exceptionally nervous.

The twins attached the veil under my bun, adjusted my Hitachiin necklace to the center of my collar and put little two little clear crystal drops in each of my ears. The one slightly further up my earlobe was a little smaller than the drop hanging from the lowest hole.

And then it was time to make my way up the stairs. Everyone had already assembled, and I could hear music coming from the roof. Temari was already in her beautiful dress, a light purple kimono type thing, and she looked radiant. She would be going down the aisle before me as my maid of honor, and Kankuro would be going before Gaara as his best man. My two brothers would walk me down the aisle. They both wore the Hitachiin family tunic, white, black trim, with the red fireflower crest emblazoned on their backs. The same outfit they had worn only a week ago.

We paused on the last landing and Temari proceeded forwards. She climbed the last set of stairs and disappeared, walking down the aisle presumably. Kaoru went up to the top of the stairs to watch her, and tell me and Hikaru when to mount the final set of stairs. The stairs were decorated with white flowers I noted, somewhat numbly with a dizzy sort of nervousness setting in. My main concern now was the dress, and my back. I had decided to let the world see my scars, to let everyone see my 'roadmap' as I had thought of it, the roadmap that had led me to this destination. I wasn't regretting that decision, but it was still one that was making me incredibly nervous.

Everyone was out there, the most important people from the village, and many people from other villages, including all the Kage, and most of the councilmembers and elders from the other villages. This was a politically important wedding after all, this was the wedding of the Kazekage, so naturally many people were invited. But that only made my current predicament worse as I contemplated showing all those people, most of whom I didn't know very well, my 'battle trophies.' It was a daunting thought. Not to mention if I stepped on myself, or tripped, or dropped my bouquet, which was just handed to me and looked beautiful.

It was all a little overwhelming. And yet…all my friends were out there too. Naruto who had saved Gaara, and had held me when I had collapsed, and had fought beside us in the war. Sakura who had saved my life on more than one occasion, and who I felt truly understood my deep devotion to another person. Granny Chiyo, who had saved Gaara when he had almost died, and who had been a wonderful person in my life during my years as an apprentice to Baki. Baki, who had been my mentor. My entire adopted family. All the friends from all the villages that I had fought beside during the war. The Tsuchikage, who was still a grumpy old fart, but who I liked anyway for his spunk and passion. The Hokage who I deeply respected. Kakashi, who I also deeply respected. Kankuro of course, and Temari, who were like a sister and brother to me, as much as Kaoru and Hikaru were. And the thought of all those people bolstered my confidence.

Even so, I was faintly trembling when Kaoru made the signal that it was time for me to start ascending that last flight of steps.

Hikaru helped me get up the stairs without hurting my dress, fixing my train and making sure everything was perfect, and I was soon making my way out of the stairwell and onto the roof, which was absolutely gorgeous. The rather plain sandstone roof had been transformed. The guard rail around the roof was draped in white flowers, white flowers were sprinkled across the ground, white flowers were on the backs of chairs, it almost looked like a garden there were so many flowers everywhere, and the sweet smell perforated the air. Pretty sandstone chairs had been arranged in neat rows across the entirety of the roof, and strangely seemed to grow right out of the roof in decorative, floral designs, and I knew Gaara had grown them himself with his sand and then compressed them into sandstone. There was an aisle for me to walk down, between the many rows of chairs. The aisle was sprinkled with fireflowers, the only red flowers present. Kaoru and Hikaru took either side of me as I got my bearings, and then began walking down the aisle. The look around had only lasted for a short moment, and then my eyes were focused on Gaara.

All my nerves, all the jitteriness I had been experiencing, the strait up fear at having my scars seen, all of that washed away the moment I saw him.

 **Gaara POV**

The last few days had been torture. Not being able to see Ren had nearly driven him up the wall, and Kankuro had had to restrain him, verbally, from going to see Ren in her apartment just down the hall from his. His two siblings must have planned everything out very carefully to have managed to keep them from running into each other in such close quarters.

He had done everything necessary to get this wedding prepared, and truly wanted it to be as beautiful as possible for Ren's sake, so he had gone out of his way to add in special touches here and there, like the chairs he had painstakingly molded out of sand. So at least he had been kept busy, but it had been especially hard to keep himself from contacting her mentally. Even if he couldn't see her, that would have been preferable to the complete separation, but once again Kankuro had mightily, and loudly, protested the idea.

So now…as he finally was able to see Ren after what felt like forever, he was even more floored by her appearance than he would have been otherwise. She was wearing the most beautiful dress he had ever seen, with lace shoulders and a flowing white skirt, and she seemed to almost float down the aisle towards him. She was utterly stunning.

He felt his chest swell with the happiness he experienced, the warmth settling in his lungs and making it hard to breath, and toasting his heart until it felt like a marshmallow that had melted into a gooey puddle. His legs felt a little weak and wobbly all of a sudden, and he had the sudden urge to sit down and catch his breath, an urge that he strongly resisted.

She finally reached him, after what felt like forever, and she turned slightly as she kissed both her brothers on their cheeks. And when she turned he saw the back of the dress, and nearly fell over in astonishment.

He knew firsthand how she felt about her scars, since he had had to reassure her that they didn't upset or disgust him many times at the beginning of their physical relationship. So for her to be showing them off this way was…beyond incredible. And as he looked at her dress and her skin, he was once again struck by the realization that she looked like an angel. The scars were only amplified by the lacy pattern on her shoulders and looked even more like wings. He could see where Kitty's wings emerged from her skin, the pale scars on her shoulder blades like slits with a scalloped edge facing her arms, and the pattern overlaid upon the already thickly patterned skin made it seem like she had small wings imprinted into her back, the pale smattering of scars from the glass those many years ago seeming to be the feathers outstretched across her shoulders from the slash that Kitty's wings had imprinted into her skin. Even the harsh, segmented scar that sliced across her back at an angle didn't take away from the impression.

He had no idea what had prompted her to expose them, but it meant that she had reached some sort of peace about them, and that made him insanely happy. He had always loved her scars, and had told her so many times. He hated to think of the physical pain that they had caused when created and the emotional pain after, but they were still beautiful to him, because they meant she had survived.

It was a little difficult for him to restrain himself from swooping her up in his arms and kissing her right there as soon as she got within arm's reach, but he knew that would probably interrupt the ceremony and resignedly decided it might not be a fantastic idea.

 **Ren POV**

The walk down the aisle passed in a blur, since all I really saw was Gaara. He was wearing a modified version of his Kage robes, a simple, white sleeveless robe that hung open to his knees, under which I could see he was wearing his fancy red leather coat, the one that was still a lovely dark crimson color and unstained by blood. His new sleeveless Kage robe was trimmed in dark green, the color matching his Kage hat, which he took off and handed to Kankuro, exposing his brilliant red hair.

The new robe was actually quite handsome, unlike the big bulky tunic that had swaddled him from collar to cuff and ankle that he had worn before. I wondered how the change had come about, but was certainly not about to complain.

I was unaware of the grin that split my lips, only mildly confused as to why my cheeks started to ache, but all of my attention was on the love of my life standing in front of me. I was so out of it, that Kaoru and Hikaru both slightly coughed to remind me to turn and say goodbye and thank you to them for walking me down the aisle. Normally, they would hand me off to my husband, but that seemed a little silly, so instead I simply kissed both their cheeks and they went to sit down, but not before I saw the teary, starry eyes of the two of them as they started to sniffle.

I turned back to Gaara, who for some reason looked utterly astonished and shocked, a look which quickly melted into delight and happiness and love. I wasn't entirely sure what had brought on the look, and it took me a few seconds to remember that I was wearing a backless dress. A fact which he had just been alerted to by me turning around to kiss my brothers. The momentary tension that suddenly kicked me in the stomach from the realization immediately eased, almost at the same time it happened. His expression was one of joy, not one of displeasure, so I instantly knew my decision had been a good one.

I smiled up at him and reached out, feeling him automatically grasp my hand in his warm one. We turned to the officiator, who was Granny Hitachiin actually. As an elder of the village, she was more than qualified to marry us, and as the head of our clan, it made sense for her to marry off her granddaughter. She was wearing an intricate black kimono, trimmed in gold, and decorated with many delicate red fire flowers. Her hair was tied up in the fanciest knot I had ever seen, and sticks poked out from the fantastic hair do, from which dangled long strands of fireflower jewels.

She looked very official.

I turned to hand off my flower bouquet to Temari, and then turned to place both hands in Gaara's as Granny Hitachiin began the ceremony. I looked into Gaara's eyes, mesmerized by their beauty as always, and had to force myself to focus on the words coming from my left.

"We are here to witness the binding together of two hearts, and of two families. My own clan, the Hitachiins, and that of Gaara's, the Kazekage. Bring forth the ties!"

Another elder stepped forward, and I was delighted to find that it was Granny Chiyo, who I hadn't seen since she had saved Gaara's life. She stepped to the right of us and draped a long braided cord of red and white across Gaara's and my entwined hands. She wrapped the cord around once and then handed the tail to Granny Hitachiin. Then she stepped back, bowed, and went to her seat.

Granny Hitachiin started up again to our left. "The cord symbolizes the binding of their hands in matrimony, the ancient tradition of combining two households and two names into one."

Then she took her end of the cord and slipped it down between Gaara's wrists, under our hands, up between my wrists and then back over and around, then finished it off by looping it once more around our hands and sliding the tail down and through the middle of the intricate knot. I didn't expect her to then grab the tail and give it a firm tug under our hands, or the way the cord suddenly tightened snuggly around our joined hands, tying us together a bit more securely than I thought was strictly necessary. In fact, it felt less like a ceremonial draping and more like a serious binding, as if she was taking her duty of tying us together very seriously indeed.

I blinked in surprise, but naturally Gaara's face remained stoic and impassive, though I was sure I saw a trace of amusement in his warm gaze.

After securing the cord, Granny turned back to the alter and lifted a goblet off a stand, a very strange cup with a long thin stem and no foot. It had been held upright on the alter only by being held in a base, which was quite lovely when I glance at it out of the corner of my eye. Two thin spirals of silver had twirled up around the stem and had cradled the cup. She slid the stem down through the knot and between our hands, and we both steadied it with our fingers. Our entwined hands interlaced even more around the stem to make sure it didn't tilt one way or another as Granny placed it in our grasp.

"As they drink together from this cup, they will symbolize drinking from the cup of life, and therefore of their new, shared life together." Granny intoned.

She poured water into the broad, shallow cup, and I suddenly realized the reason for the odd shape. It was only just wide enough to allow us to drink from it at the same time, though it was going to be a little awkward and messy. I was very grateful it was just water.

We raised the cup up once it was full to the brim, and thankfully Granny helped to steady it as we raised it. Our heads bent, and we had to tilt a bit to each side as we managed to touch our lips to either side of the rim and sip some of the water that was almost spilling over the edges. Some of the liquid did in fact spill as we bumped the cup with our mouths from either side, but the cord absorbed most of the moister dripping onto our joined hands. And after all…it was just water.

Kitty quietly mused why humans didn't lap up water like a cat, with our tongues, and I heard the dark chuckle of Shukaku as he obviously agreed. I hadn't even been aware that our mental connection was open, but I could feel the slight amusement and exasperation of Gaara as well, now that I was aware of it. I suppose opening the connection was almost second nature to us now, when we were within a certain range.

After we had both sipped from the cup, Granny took it from us and delicately placed it back in its holder. She then turned to us and said, "As witness to this union I now ask the people if there are any reasons why this marriage shouldn't take place…" She paused for less than a second, not giving anyone a chance to actually protest, before continuing with, "Then I pronounce these two wed!"

Her announcement of, "You may now kiss…" was interrupted by Gaara going ahead and kissing me almost before the words were out of her mouth. I only barely heard her sigh of exasperation as the warm lips of my new husband gently caressed mine for a few brief wonderful seconds, and then he pulled away, and I felt through our connection, just how hard it was for him to restrain himself from kissing me the way he really wanted to.

We separated to the sound of cheers and congratulatory yells. Granny detached our hands by tugging on a part of the knot that allowed the cord to drop from our hands, which were a little red from the constriction. Gaara then proceeded to pull a pair of rings out from his pocket, and I held out my hand to allow him to place my ring on my finger. The rings were made out of sandstone, his I was sure, and were insanely smooth for being made of such a material. They shone like metal they were so smooth. And they were made of tiny intricate braids of sand, compressed into an incredibly complex and beautiful design, and I had to imagine it had taken him hours of concentration to complete such a painstaking creation.

After the ring had slid onto my finger I took the other ring from him and slid the matching, slightly larger, band onto his ring finger. Then I looked back up into his eyes and smiled, feeling a surge of happiness and love, the likes of which I had rarely felt before. He met my smile with one of his own, and I felt his answering surge of emotions come across our connection clear as a bell, which only made my own heart feel like it wanted to pop from pure joy.

We entwined our fingers and I reached over to Temari to take back my bouquet, and then we all started filing back down the aisle, Gaara and I first. Going down the stairs, I had to also reach down and grab a handful of skirt along with my bouquet to make sure I didn't trip. We climbed all the way down from the roof to the ground floor where the reception was to take place. I very nearly tripped once, and I felt sand quickly slide out from under Gaara's sleeve, climb up my arm, jumping to my waist from my elbow. It slid around my waist and steadied me, happening so swiftly and subtly that I was sure no one noticed aside from maybe Temari and Kankuro, who were directly behind us.

Once inside the reception area, we were very swiftly besieged by all manner of guest, both people that I knew and people that I didn't know. I saw many friendly faces and happily greeted friends from all over, while also smiling and shaking the hands of people who I most certainly had never met before. Some of the people were obviously very important political figures, and I caught a few people looking at me disapprovingly. Which was only mildly irritation, since I was too happy to really care about anything negative.

I overheard one older lady, obviously from the Leaf Village and probably an elder, mutter to another, equally old man, "Look at all those scars on her back…and that large seal on her shoulder…isn't that the seal of the Kazekage's Guard?"

At that point I happened to glance over, right as Lady Tsunade rounded on them. She said something very softly, and I was only able to catch it by sending in a little breeze, my curiosity piqued. "You are correct…That is Lord Gaara's personal guard, and one of the most powerful shinobi of the Sand Village. I'm shocked that you didn't know that, and also shocked that you'd be so politically unwise as to comment so brashly on the Kazekage's new wife. If I were you, I would refrain from speaking so freely, I really don't want to have to clean up any sticky relations between us and Suna because of a few misspoken words…"

I was surprised to say the least. I had always like Lady Tsunade, and even more so now that I heard her stand up for me like that. It definitely sounded like she had a few bones to pick with the elders of her village, and I totally understood the feeling.

Despite the few mumbled comments, and the few sideways glances, the reception went off without a hitch, and soon the formal reception was over and most of the people I wasn't familiar with were leaving. Friends and family stayed longer for toasts, and we all sat at small tables to listen to the things people had to say.

Granny Chiyo was surprisingly the first to stand. "I'm sure you know how lucky you two are, most political marriages are not made out of love. So I just wanted to say, I'm glad to see that it turned out this way. The times are changing, and for the better…which isn't something I ever thought I would say." She paused and then raised her glass, exclaiming, "To the happy couple!"

Everyone cheered and rose their glass before drinking a sip of the sake that was freely poured.

Kankuro was the next one to stand. "You know…it wasn't too long ago when I never thought something like this was even possible. Maybe even just five years ago, the idea that my brother could be the Kazekage, and get married…it just wasn't something I ever thought I'd get to see. But I'm sure glad I did!"

He finished his toast and Temari stood as soon as he sat down. "I agree! And I'm happy to be able to call Ren my sister now."

Kankuro interrupted her with, "Hey! I'm glad Ren's my sis too!" '

Temari just smacked him on the head, and everyone laughed. She continued on as if nothing had happened, to the many chuckled of her audience. "I knew for a long time that she and my brother were in love, long before they even admitted it to themselves or each other. And no matter how I tried to convince them or set them up, they just wouldn't cooperate! I was beginning to think this would never happen for a while there, so I'm incredibly happy that they were able to figure their shit out!" This was met with more chuckles, mine included, and she grinned happily at me, rising her glass. "So…thanks for not kicking my butt all those times I meddled in your business. I know I deserved it."

I laughed out loud at that one. I raised my glass and said, "You're welcome…but it wasn't for lack of trying. I did throw some stuff at you, you just always managed to dodge."

"True, true." She shrugged and sat down, more laughter filling the room.

More toasts were made, many congratulations, many well-wishes, and several funny stories were shared, and soon the night began to blur as I felt myself get just the tiniest bit tipsy from all the toasting. Eventually the party ended, for us at least, although I'm sure that many of our friends and family took the party elsewhere. Gaara and I retired to his quarters on the third floor. I caught Temari talking with a council member at the base of the stairs, and figured she was making the arrangements necessary, which made me shudder a little in disgust. The whole sheet thing still bugged me.

After we had entered our apartments, which were also officially mine now, although I had already begun thinking about his apartments as my own for some time now. We were soon followed by Temari, and Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow at her.

"Ehm…you wanna explain it to him Ren?" She asked, flushing just a little and rubbing the back of her neck in awkwardness.

I sighed. "Sure. Uh. Are you familiar with the whole tradition of witnessing the "consummation" of a political marriage, and the whole virgin thing, and all of that?"

He blinked, took a few moments to translate my awkwardly garbled sentence and then responded, "Yes…I am familiar with the old traditions. The council approached me and made their demands clear. I'm assuming that Temari is supposed to be the witness in this case?"

I sighed, relieved that he was already aware of the situation. "Okay, good. I don't think I'd do a great job of explaining it all. It's a little too awkward already without me having to verbally say it."

"Hm." He made his typical response, and I chuckled, realizing I had missed the small raspy huff of air this past week.

I shifted from side to side, glancing at Temari and then at him, really feeling the tension now. This was just so incredibly awkward.

Finally after a minute or two, Temari growled, almost doing a good Gaara impression. "Will you two just go in there and get it over with? I don't wanna be here all night you know."

I busted out laughing, the tension easing a little. I waved my hand dismissively at her. "Sure, sure, we'll get right on that Temari."

I heard a small huff of air from Gaara and he turned and walked into the bedroom, leaving the door open. Both Temari and I leaned a bit to the side to look into the bedroom, and cocked our heads in confusion at the abrupt withdraw. I straitened up after a moment, and cleared my throat.

"Alrighty then…well…uh…bye…" I said, trying not to laugh out of pure embarrassment and a good amount of amusement that this was actually happening.

Temari snorted a laugh, obviously amused at my discomfort. "Have fun…try not to break the wall or door between us though. I really don't want to see anything."

I scoffed and threw a pillow from the couch at her head, which she neatly ducked. I grumbled all the way into the bedroom, closing the door behind me with a loud snap. Locking it for good measure.

 **Temari POV**

Temari sat on the couch with a huff, not particularly looking forward to the next hour or so. Despite her teasing Ren about having wanted to see what would happen when they finally did do it a while back, she wasn't overly fond of the idea of listening in to her brother having sex. Naturally she was curious, especially since Ren had alluded to the fact that Gaara was a lot more forceful than she would have guessed.

Based on his current personality, he was always so calm, collected, in charge, very rarely ruffled by anything, she really had a hard time picturing it. Aside from the few times she had gotten a glimpse of his other side, when she had walked in on them the week before the wedding for one, she had rarely seen him get all growly. Of course based on his past history she could imagine things she really didn't want to imagine. During his insane years he definitely hadn't been in control, but she didn't really think he was likely to lose control the way he had back then, even during sex.

So she wasn't surprised when the noise level stayed pretty low. She barely heard anything at all, aside from a few mumbled words she couldn't really make out. It took a surprisingly long time for her to be able to pick up on anything at all, not that she was straining to hear anything. But unfortunately as her role of "witness" demanded, she would have to hear something to prove that sex had happened. So when she caught a few soft moans she was at least grateful that she wasn't going to have to bang on the door and tell them to be louder.

The soft moans were Ren's and Temari had to wonder what in the world was making her sound so happy. Whatever Gaara was doing, Ren definitely liked it, and Temari couldn't help but be a little impressed. Most of the sounds were very soft and barely audible, but every so often a slightly louder sound would emerge, and then would immediately be muffled as if it was an accident. After a little while the sounds cut off with a gasp. That must have been one hell of a gasp for Temari to even be able to hear it, and Temari figured Ren had probably just finished.

She flushed a tad, leaning her head back to rest against the back of the couch, and waited for the sound of the bed to start creaking. That was the main sound she had to hear, because that would indicate that the marriage had been fully consummated. It wasn't long before the very soft squeaking of springs could be heard. If Temari was any judge, she'd say that they were having the slowest sex ever, but chances were they were trying to prevent the bed from making noises. The creaking sounds rather quickly picked up in volume, and soon she could hear the soft thumping of the headboard hitting the wall. She winced as the thumbing continued, only growing in frequency and volume as apparently they got serious about the consummation thing in there.

Temari blinked and frowned as she started picking up on another sound, one she really couldn't place at first. It was a low rumble, and it quickly grew louder. It took her a few moments to realize that it was the sound of a very deep, very not-human growl. Her head popped up off the back of the couch and she eyed the bedroom door with something akin to astonishment as she realized that apparently, instead of grunting and groaning like a normal person, Gaara growled during sex. The realization had her mouth dropping open in shock.

She really shouldn't be too surprised, after all he had snarled at her on more than one occasion, just not recently. But she never would have thought that it would translate to sex.

She wasn't really sure what to think about it, but eventually huffed a sigh and laid her head back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling. The growl seemed to grow louder, and then changed, right before she heard Ren yelp and the sound of the springs in the bed creaking in a different way than they had before. Temari flinched, wondering if maybe they had just finished doing it, but wondering why Ren had yelped.

After a moment she was able to pick up on the sound of talking, but it didn't sound like a friendly conversation about how to properly stain the sheets, it sounded almost like an argument with low, aggressive tones.

 _What in the hell is going on in there?!_

She momentarily played with the idea of going in there to check and make sure things were okay, but then dismissed it as a stupid idea. There was a niggling in her mind as she felt chakra building almost like a fight was indeed brewing in the bedroom, and she tensed when she sensed a different, darker chakra emerging. She dismissed the budding idea as ridiculous, and just gritted her teeth, hoping they would be done soon.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a loud bang, right against the wall between the bedroom and the living room, and she snapped her head up to glare at the wall, daring it to fall. She never would have thought that her request to not break the wall, would be seriously tested. Apparently her analysis from so many years ago, that if they ever did have sex they would destroy the house, was a real possibility.

She grew more and more amused and mildly irritated as she continued to hear banging sounds from the room next door, almost as if they were traveling around the room banging into furniture and breaking stuff. Based on the noises, it almost sounded like they were having a physical confrontation, and the only thing she could think of was that someone had lost control of their inner animal. She supposed that the week-long separation had affected them more strongly than she had anticipated.

She did her best to ignore the loud noises and went back to staring at the ceiling, that is, until she heard the tell-tail pop of Gaara's gourd opening up in the corner. She jumped and looked towards her younger brother's weapon, and then swiftly tugged her feet up under her as she watched with shocked eyes and a once again gaping mouth, as sand poured out of the gourd, most of it curling sinuously across the floor, but a few strands actually spiraling through the air. The sand on the floor slid under the bedroom door and the rest slid in around the cracks, and Temari was left feeling very odd about it.

She had no idea what Gaara's sand had to do with their sex in there, and she frankly didn't want to know. Although, her curiosity had been peeked and she already started to plan an interrogation on Ren at some later date.

Apparently the banging around had been an interruption to the sex, because as the more violent sounds went away, she started picking up on the sounds of Ren's moaning again. Although these moans were significantly louder and of a much larger variety. It sounded as though half the time she was yelping or squeaking in either protest or maybe even discomfort or pain of some sort, but those sounds always seemed to cut off with louder more pleasured noises. Whatever was going on in there, Ren wasn't on board a hundred percent, or at least was experiencing some pain along with the pleasure, but whatever the case was, it was making Temari decidedly hot under the collar.

She never would have thought in a million years that Ren was capable of making some of the sounds she was now hearing, and she certainly never would have thought that Gaara was capable of making her produce them. Those sounds only seemed to increase in desperation and intensity, until they changed rather dramatically to the sound of moaned words that Temari was sure she wouldn't be able to understand even if she was standing right next to them. It was loud enough that Temari was able to pick out a few broken up curse words, along with Gaara's name, and she could feel a flush working its way down her face and onto her chest.

The sounds were arousing, she couldn't help but admit that to herself, but it was also just an incredibly awkward situation.

Ren's vocalizations peaked and then subsided, only to be joined moments later by the unmistakable sound of the bed creaking and groaning and the headboard banging into the wall, accompanied by a rather loud burst of sound from Ren. Apparently they had finally got back to the actual sex part, and Temari sighed in relief, hoping that this time it would be finished. The loud noises continued, although eventually the headboard stopped banging against the wall for some reason, though she could still hear the creaking of the mattress.

She could even hear the loud squealing protests of the bed-frame and though to herself that it sounded like they were going to break the bed. She jumped when a loud crash-bang resounded, and almost busted out laughing, realizing that that's probably exactly what had just happened, mere seconds after she had thought it.

Apparently the demise of the bed didn't stop the happy couple because Temari could still clearly hear the continued squeaks, creaks, groans, and assorted other noises coming from the room. She soon started hearing the loud growl from before, although this time it was even louder and snarled in a much more animalistic way.

After a period of time in which Temari started to get a pounding headache to match the pounding in the other room, the growl spiked in volume and she heard a purely feminine yell, that was immediately muffled. The creaking came to a halt, and Temari hoped that things had come to a conclusion.

After a few moments of silence, she could hear the muffled sounds of quiet talking, and then heard the sound of someone moving around. She breathed a sigh of relief, pretty sure that the fun and games had ended and they were now fabricating virginal evidence to stain the sheets. Soon the door was opened, and she rolled her head to the side to give Ren a look. She was holding the bundled up sheet and wearing a robe, though the robe didn't cover all the red marks on her neck, or the flush on her cheeks. It looked like Gaara had practically used her as a chew toy, what with all the bite marks and hickies visible.

After a moment Temari asked, "Did you two have sex? Or did you have a fight and destroy the room, because there were times I couldn't tell."

Ren flushed even redder. "Um…it's complicated."

Temari couldn't help but snort at the non-answer and the blush on Ren's cheeks. "Sure. Is it always that "complicated?" Because if so, I feel for you. You must have to get new furniture every day." Temari continued, thoroughly enjoying teasing Ren and watching her get more and more flustered.

"No, that was…uh…a special circumstance." She sighed and then mumbled, looking away.

"Really? So what happened exactly?"

"Don't ask."

That was probably a good idea right now so Temari decided that she would corner Ren later and ask her questions, when a potentially riled up red-head wasn't in the room next door.

"Okay. For now. So, show me the sheet and then stick it in here." She held out the plastic bag she had brought for the sheets.

Ren grimaced and opened up the sheet, exposing a mess of bedclothes that were all rumpled and wet in places all over. Temari appraised the reddish stain in the middle, deciding that the gross, still wet, disgustingly thick smoosh was definitely believable, and scrunched up her nose. She also couldn't help but notice just how wet it was, in spots distributed all over the sheet, and she sputtered, nearly choking on herself in her amusement and disgust.

"Okay, seriously how many wet spots are real? Because holy fuck you guys were busy."

Ren snorted. "They're all real, it's just the blood that's not and I rubbed that on a wet spot that was already there. We just relocated a few times."

"Yeah I can see that. It also sounded like you moved around the room a lot too. And are you bleeding?" Temari asked as she caught sight of red on the back of Ren's neck.

"Uh…"Ren slapped her hand to the back of her neck, and grimaced, confirming Temari's suspicion.

"What the hell happened there?" She asked, confused and a little disturbed. What had Gaara done to make Ren bleed on the back of her neck?

"Well…he might have bitten me a little too hard…"

"He bit you." Temari repeated, feeling her eyes glaze over in shock. "Okay then. Well. I'm just going to take that from you and I'll be on my way."

Ren nodded and shoved the sheet into the plastic bag, handing it over to her. Temari grabbed it and left, shaking her head and thoroughly shocked by the experience she had just overheard. She was positive they had broken the bed, pretty sure they had broken some other furniture, overheard all manner of noises, and had just seen a bite that had drawn blood. She wouldn't have ever thought that Ren and Gaara would be quite so…intense together, but then again, she had predicted it a long time ago, even if she had been joking.

Well, at the very least, she knew that their life together wouldn't be boring.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Sooooo…..this is the end….for now.

If I get enough requests, I'll post a bonus chapter about what exactly went on in the bedroom….Who wants to wager a guess at what happened?

Eventually, I want to finish the whole thing off with a final conclusion chapter, maybe set several years in the future, but I won't get around to that for a while. I'm actually busy now adapting this monster of a story into an original novel, so that'll take me some time.

I also want to go back and edit everything, combine chapters and maybe even split it into two stories. So at some point I'll probably take all the chapters down except for number one and repost everything in order. If I do that I'll post the re-edited chapters every day until it's all there. Chances are, there will be new content coming from the book I'm writing, so it may be worth your while to check it out again. :3

I loved writing this story…and I'm sure it's not completely over, after all, there may be a few bonus chapters coming, but I just wanted to say thank you all for sticking with it until the end. I loved reading all your reviews and made several new friends that I love here on FF, so a shout out to everyone who has supported me on this long venture!

By the way, if you like Hinata/Naruto pairing, my friend Elphaba has written a fantastic story called "A Hyuuga's Honor" that I've been beta-reading. It's absolutely fantastic so you should definitely check it out. :3


	90. Bonus!

**Lot's of Lemons in this chapter folks! Just thought I'd warn you up front.**

* * *

Inside the bedroom, it was kind of dark surprisingly, not really dark, but there was only a small lamp turned on, so it took a moment for my eyes to adjust. "Gaara?" I murmured, wondering why it was so dim and why I suddenly felt even more tension rippling up my spine. The knowledge that someone was listening in on us just outside of the room had me all knotted up inside, all uncomfortable and tense.

I heard a soft rumbling sound and followed it with my eyes to the other side of the room, where I saw Gaara. He had taken off everything except his pants, and the only reason I could see him was because his skin was so pale. There was a glint in his eyes that told me that something had changed.

 **Gaara POV**

At the moment, Gaara honestly didn't give a fuck that Temari was in the other room. Several things were driving him absolutely up the wall, and they all had to do with Ren.

For one, he hadn't seen her in a week. He found it amazing that he had somehow been able to put up with not seeing her for days, sometimes weeks on end at the beginning of their relationship, and had had to do it on a regular basis. He found it even more amazing that at one time in their relationship he had been able to restrain himself from touching her, from making love to her, while she had worked through all of those terrible emotional scars. He found it astonishing, because ever since they had fully consummated their relationship, excluding the war and during missions, they had spent every night together, and he had found himself getting more and more addicted to touching her. He really didn't think he would ever truly get enough of being able to touch her, love her the way he had wanted to for what seemed like forever.

And apparently during the month or so that they had had sex on a nightly basis, he had lost all restraint when it came to her, because this last week had been absolute and complete torture on all of his senses. He felt just a little out of control as he made his way into the bedroom, and quickly lost all clothes except his pants, because maybe that would slow him down just enough that he wouldn't hurt her accidentally.

The other problem he was having, and it was a slightly larger problem than his own lust, was the fact that apparently Shukaku had decided he wanted to mate with her. Gaara wasn't entirely sure what that meant, except that having married Ren made Shukaku also want to claim her in his own way. Shukaku was refusing to talk to him at the moment, and that wasn't very comforting. Usually that meant that he was planning something, and that he knew Gaara wouldn't approve of it.

Gaara put a major lockdown on Shukaku in his mind and sealed up the mental connection between him and Ren, hoping that that would keep the beast inside his head and out of hers. All in all, this wasn't the right recipe for gentle lovemaking, and certainly not the sort of thing that he would want anyone, much less his sister to listen in on, but he was helpless at the moment to really change that. They had to consummate the marriage tonight, or the council would have a hissy fit, and this had already been a rollercoaster of a ride. He didn't want any more problems with the council to come between him and Ren. So she was just going to have to put up with a rough experience tonight unfortunately, and he figured he was going to have to find a way to warn her without freaking her out.

 **Ren POV**

I wasn't entirely sure about this situation. Gaara's eyes were intense enough that I felt a physical kick in the gut as I experience both unease and arousal in an surprisingly strong surge. I swallowed thickly, and then inched my way into the room, keeping my eyes locked with his.

"Uh…I know we have to do this…but I'd rather do it quickly and quietly if possible. I don't want Temari to have to suffer more than necessary. Oh…and for the…uh…virgin stains, I decided that it would be most realistic if we collect some of our stuff in this little jar, and then mix it with blood. It's disgusting, but it's the best I could come up with."

Gaara's nose wrinkled imperceptibly, and he closed his eyes, visibly gathering himself together before saying, "Yes. That sounds like a reasonable plan."

I nodded, putting the jar on the nightstand and then swiftly retrieved a preventative pill from the top drawer and swallowed it dry, wanting to get that out of the way before I forgot.

Gaara walked around the bed to stand behind me and I froze, shivering a bit when I felt his warm fingers brush against my neck. Some of the tension I could feel radiating from him seemed to ease, and I felt the soft breath of his sigh as he leaned his head against my shoulder.

"Ren…I should warn you, I'm having trouble controlling myself at the moment." He mumbled into the skin of my shoulder.

I tensed a little, both in arousal and nervousness. "Uh…how's that exactly?"

He sighed again, and then his fingers were lightly pushing the lace off my shoulders. "I would rather not go into the details, but things might get a little rough tonight."

I shuddered as his hands continued to push the bodice of the dress down, pausing a bit in confusion at the sticky tape holding the edges of the lace to my skin.

"Oh right…Uh, we taped that to make sure nothing would move and, ehm, expose something." I mumbled in response to the silent question he had posed by holding some of the tape out in front of me.

He laughed against my neck and proceeded to remove the tape, and dress, from the rest of my torso, pausing when he reached the skirt to find the very well hidden zipper. I stayed still, allowing him to undress me, and twitching ever so slightly at the mildly uncomfortable sensation of the tape being removed from my skin. Other than that, I could feel the light ghosting of his fingers on me, and it never failed to make me shiver. I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling after having not felt him against me in a week. Once he finally had found the zipper, and unzipped it, I felt the sudden slack in the dress and the weight of the skirt began dragging it off of me. He caught it and slid it down my legs so I could step out of it carefully. I could hear his gasp as he saw the underwear, or lack thereof, that was covering my behind, and I flushed, only just reminded that I was wearing a thong for the first time.

I glanced back to see the dress carefully deposited on a chair by a swirl of sand, and then his hands landed on my waist and he dragged me back into him, pulling me flush against his body. It was my turn to gasp as I felt the bare skin of his chest meet the bare skin of my back.

I was swiftly reminded of what he had said, about things potentially getting rough, which I still didn't fully understand, but suspected had to do with Shukaku somehow, when his fingers dug into the skin at my waist. I sucked in my breath, turned on and a little unnerved by the sudden change. I felt him tense and then his hands relaxed, smoothing out against my skin as if he had forced himself to soften his grip. I could already tell this was going to be a little different, and couldn't help but wonder what was going on to make him so unpredictable.

It was at that moment that Kitty decided to make an unexpected announcement. _**Before Gaara cut off our mental connection, I felt Shukaku getting all worked up. It started during the wedding but you were too busy to notice. I'm pretty sure Shukaku is pushing to claim you 'officially' as his mate, now that Gaara has claimed you as his wife.**_

I froze up a little, not entirely sure what that meant. _'Officially?' What do you mean by that?_ I questioned hesitantly, not entirely sure I wanted the answer.

 _ **I won't go into the details Kitten, I don't think you want to know. But suffice to say that chances are he's going to mark you. Creatures like us…like the tailed beasts and others like me, we tend to mark our mates, almost like a brand, or like the sealing jutsu on your chest and arm. It's not a jutsu, but it is a mark similar to that. It's a way to show other powerful creatures that you're mated and to warn them 'hands off.'**_

I winced. Those marks had been unpleasant, and I wasn't really fond of the idea of having another one. Then a thought occurred to me. _What about you? Don't you want to mark Gaara?_ I asked, curious now.

 _ **Of course Kitten, and I will. But not tonight. I have a little more patience than Shukaku, and I know that tonight's not the night for that. But I can't promise he'll be as nice.**_

 _Duly noted._

The new information only made me more nervous, and I really hoped we could keep whatever was about to happen to a low volume. The thought of Temari hearing me and Gaara having sex wasn't something I was particularly fond of, much less whatever was about to go down.

My thoughts were interrupted by Gaara, when he turned me around to get a look at the odd stick-on bra I was wearing. He looked pretty confused, and his head cocked to the side as he examined my chest. My nerves lightened as amusement at his confusion bubbled up in my chest. I chuckled. "Yeah, it's weird right?"

He nodded and I giggled, relieved as some of the tension eased from me. I peeled the sticky garment off and threw it across the room, happy to have it off. Gaara's eyes traced over my breasts, and then slid down to the underwear and fancy contraption strapped around my hips. He leaned back a little and narrowed his eyes at the garter belt holding up my thigh high stockings, before suddenly kneeling in front of me. He went eye to eye with my crotch, and his fingers slid around to investigate the silly little clasp at the front. He fingered that for a moment contemplatively and then his fingertips slid over the straps down to my thighs where the silk attached to the lace at the tops of my stockings. He investigated those clasps as well.

After a moment he eyed the thing with a glint that I had come to recognize meant something was about to be destroyed, but I certainly wasn't expecting the way he decided to dispatch it. I caught a glint of gold in his eyes right before he suddenly jerked his head forward and I felt and heard a slight crunch as Gaara apparently bit through the front clasp. I gaped at him as he released his jaw from the front of my lingerie and it fell to either side, dropping back behind me and dangling only from the still stubborn stockings that clung to my thighs. That was soon remedied by Gaara's thumbs as he hooked them in both stockings and slid them down my legs, along with the remains of the belt.

I was left dazed and confused, staring at him in dumb bewilderment, still unable to comprehend the fact that he had just bitten through the clasp of my underwear. I numbly stepped out of the stockings and shoes. I stumbled a little and sat down on the bed, hard, still trying to wrap my mind around what was going on. Gaara's head rose, and he looked at me from under heavy dark lids, another flash of gold darting through his gaze.

He winced and closed his eyes, breathing in through his nose and then exhaling heavily, apparently trying to get himself back under firmer control. I swallowed thickly. This wasn't looking too good.

After a moment Gaara stood, and he approached me. I looked up at him and he leaned over me, putting one hand on the bed next to my hip and bringing his face very close to mine. His kiss was surprisingly gentle, but I could feel the slight tension behind it that betrayed how much control he was exerting over himself. I kissed him back hesitantly at first, but at this point I wanted to engage with him. I knew that whatever was lurking under his skin was going to break free at some point, and I was just thankful that he was able to give me a few moments to acclimate to the idea. I wasn't afraid of him, exactly, it was more nervousness than anything else. Nervousness, and of course the awkwardness that came from knowing we were being listened in on.

He pressed forwards, crowding me and forcing me back into the bed. I scooched back, and he followed, until we were in the middle. And then he was crouched over me. Our kiss had been broken by the movement, and so his lips descended once again, this time on my neck, and then he kissed down my chest, between my breasts, and I felt his fingers hooking in the band of lace around my hips.

I abruptly was reminded about the fact that I only had a little fluff of a heart down there now, and suddenly thought that maybe that hadn't been such a hot idea. It seemed like it might elevate this situation a bit too fast, not to mention that I was suddenly embarrassed about it. The abrupt embarrassment and fear had me clenching my thighs to prevent the removal of my underwear. I heard a rumble come from Gaara's chest, one that was probably more from Shukaku, and swallowed thickly once again. _Oh boy._

Me clenching my thighs didn't prevent the underwear from coming down my legs, and I heard a few ominous ripping sounds that suggested it might not be rewearable. Gaara slid back up my body and brought his mouth to my ear. "Why did you clench your thighs?" He asked, sounding a little concerned, but also just a tiny bit ticked off.

"Uh…well, I just remembered something, and I got embarrassed…" I mumbled.

"Remembered something?" He prompted, nipping at my ear.

"You'll find out soon enough."

He made his Gaara sound, the soft "…hm…" rumbling in my ear in the most strangely sensual way.

I sighed, deciding to relax a bit, and wrapped my arms around his neck, parting my legs and allowing him to sink his hips between them. Which made me aware of the fact that he was still wearing pants. It was strangely erotic to be naked while he was still partially dressed, but at the same time, the stiff cloth of his pants rubbing against the delicate, freshly bare skin between my legs was a bit uncomfortable.

His lips sought out mine, and I met him in the middle, our mouths colliding a bit roughly, but still with a tenderness that was at odds with the lust I could feel tightening his frame. There was something in the kiss that also spoke of the love and happiness he had felt today. He wanted to make love to me, as much as I wanted to make love to him, it was just probably going to get a little rough and out of control. And frankly, that was fine with me.

I had accepted the idea and knowledge that Shukaku might be joining us soon, in his own way, and I knew things might get a bit unnerving, but at the moment I was lost in the kiss and didn't care. Thoughts still yammered at me in the back of my head, but I pushed them aside, choosing to focus instead on the heat of his mouth against mine and the slick feeling of his tongue as it slid between my lips.

As soon as he pulled away from me, and there was a smidge of space between our bodies, I got my hands between us and hurriedly undid his pants, pushing them down and then hooking my toes into the waistband to shove them down the rest of the way. I was ready for him to be naked, and was a tad frustrated with his pants to be honest, so they came off pretty quick.

Gaara gasped at the sudden move on my part, apparently not expecting it. He froze as his dick came into contact with my now bare pussy, and I barely heard him mumble something along the lines of "…what the hell…?"

He pulled back, sitting up onto his knees to get a good look at me. His eyes went wide when he saw what was obviously a very different look from the last time he had seen my private parts.

I flushed bright red. "Right…well, uh, this was Temari's idea…" I mumbled, seriously embarrassed.

He very slowly blinked, stayed put for a long time, and eventually when his eyes inched back up to meet my own they were glazed over. "Remind me to buy her a present."

"Oh. So you like it?" I grinned, the blush calming just a little in the face of my happiness at his approval.

He nodded, his eyes flicking back down. He stared at me for a good few more moments and then his entire body slid back on the bed as his head lowered towards my thighs. I flinched and closed up, not really wanting him to go down on me at this particular moment.

"Uh…if you do that it's going to be tough for me to be quiet, and I don't really want Temari to hear…"

His growl interrupted me midsentence.

"Would you stop growling at me?!" I huffed, just a smidge exasperated.

His dark chuckle sent shivers down my spine. "Can't really help it." He rumbled.

And then he bent his head down to kiss me in the crease of my thigh, right next to the top of my cleft that was now bare of protective fur and easily visible.

I jumped. "Hey! I just said that I don't want to do anything that's going to get too loud!"

He huffed a breath against my skin, the heat making me jump when it brushed over the sensitive flesh there. "Sorry, but if you didn't want me to put my mouth here, you shouldn't have invited me by making it so tempting."

"Removing the hair made it tempting?" I questioned, curious.

"Yes. Because now I can _see_ it." He almost snarled, his voice lowering and getting gravelly with lust.

"You could see it before…" I mumbled, squirming a little under him with desire as his lips trailed over my hip.

He nipped my skin and then sucked, leaving a little red mark. "Yes…but not with your legs closed. Now I can see you even then."

"Oh…yeah, I guess I see your point…" My words became a bit more difficult to manage when he opened his mouth over me and slid his tongue across the top of my pussy, unable to really get to anything else with my legs closed.

I gasped, shocked by the sudden caress, and bit my lip, determined to not make any noise. Gaara made that a bit difficult as he wedged himself between my thighs, forcing them open with his forearms and then shoulders.

"Oh come on…." I whined softly, but was met only by his mouth wordlessly making a response against me, the likes of which had me arching my hips and swallowing the moan that wanted to pop out of my throat. He definitely didn't have any intention of making it easy for me to stay quiet, a fact that he made me quickly aware of as he swiftly explored all the newly exposed skin with his tongue and lips.

The thorough exploration had my legs twitching and tensing on either side of him, and my head tossing on the pillow as I gripped the sheets with my hands. It only got worse. Once his curiosity was satisfied and he focused in on my clit, it became nearly impossible to stay utterly quiet, and very soft sounds began to escape me. I could only hope that they were soft enough to not be picked up on, on the other side of the door.

He worked me in the way he had quickly learned to do, shifting through several rhythms that had worked before, until finding one that worked today. The one that felt the best definitely had me spreading my legs further, and my toes dug into his side without my conscious decision to do so. It was those sorts of responses that made it easy for him to find something that worked every time he did this, which was amazing really.

I had already gotten caught up in the pleasure, as was usual, and it took a lot of effort to force my normally rather vocal responses to a minimum. I wasn't used to having to worry about being heard, since we had the entire floor to ourselves, and that luxury had never taught me how to be quiet. My shyness had only lasted so long as a volume control, and lately I had been much more open about moaning if I felt like it. So having to bottle things up now was proving to be a challenge.

Still, I did my best, and hopefully brought all my normal vocalizations down enough in volume that Temari wouldn't be able to hear me, though a few things crept through that I suspected she might have.

I quickly approached orgasm, and tilted over the edge with a very loud gasp, and then bit my lip to remind myself not to say Gaara's name the way I usually did accidentally. He kissed around on my thighs after I came down, and I relaxed into the mattress with a sigh.

Afterwards, he crawled up my body, kissing my belly and then pausing to kiss my breasts, and then my neck, before reaching my lips. He drew me into a long, deep kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth at the same time his dick slid inside me with one long thrust. I gasped into the kiss, startled into making a moan, which was thankfully somewhat muffled by Gaara's mouth.

It all started out relatively slow and gentle, his long even strokes quickly setting up a slow rhythm that had me rocking my hips to meet him. I very quickly became hyper aware of every little creak the mattress made, and as things began inevitably picking up in pace, I became intensely aware of the thumping of the headboard into the wall. Even so, I was unable to really put a stop to things, since I was already so wrapped up in the pleasure of feeling him inside me.

His normal growl kicked in, and it seemed even louder than normal, and soon things seemed to be spiraling quickly out of control. I tensed a little when I saw his eyes switch to gold for a second, and then my eyes closed as his fingers found my somewhat recovered clit and started rubbing it. It was still hyper sensitive from having just cum, so the pleasure bordered on pain, but even so, the pleasure of his thrusts was enough to compensate, and I felt myself tightening on him as another orgasm built inside me.

And then something shifted, Gaara's growl changed in pitch, and that was the only warning I had before I felt sharp teeth at my neck. I yelped, not expecting it, and every instinct inside me came to the surface. I got mixed messages from Kitty's instincts, some of them recognizing Gaara as our mate, and wanting me to submit to him, and others that said DANGER and a strong fight or flight urge kicked in. And then under that, was Kitty herself, her fur standing upright and everything in her telling me to not make it easy for him. She wasn't scared, but there was something in her that told me that I needed to test him, to make sure he was a strong enough mate for me. None of it made sense, and Kitty could have done a better job of warning me earlier.

What I ended up doing was against what I normally would do in this sort of situation, and I bucked him off, hissing ferally and leaping off the bed before I really even knew what I was doing. This whole situation was ridiculous, and I was majorly irritated at both Kitty and Shukaku for making this be so much more difficult than it really had to be.

I backed into the room, feeling Kitty rising up within me. I knew my eyes were hers at the moment, and though I was still fully in control of my actions, I wasn't in control of the strong instincts that were forcing me to act in such an irrational manner. Gaara whirled on the bed, his eyes both gold and black, and I could see the blue lines and symbols curling up from his eyes and onto his brow and down his cheek, mimicking the exact same placement on Shukaku. I knew Shukaku was in the driver's seat right now, and that did make me nervous. Despite our bonding during the war, he was still something of an unknown to me. I knew he didn't want to hurt me, not badly anyways, but at the same time it was obvious that he intended to fuck me, and I still wasn't too sure I was okay with that.

His lips curled into a wicked grin, one that I was unfamiliar with on Gaara's face, but that curled heat into my gut in a way I was shocked by. "What's wrong sweetheart? Scared?"

I gulped, and if I was honest, yes I was a little scared, but I certainly wasn't going to tell him that. "Shukaku…this isn't really a great time…" I gritted out between my teeth, determined to not let on that I knew good and well what he intended. I figured playing dumb was my best bet at the moment.

"Nice try…but you and I both know this is the perfect time for what I want."

"And what is it that you want?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" He taunted, and the way he slid out of bed and started stalking towards me had my pulse going through the roof. I was simply unused to seeing Gaara act this way. The way he was moving was truly predatory, in a way that I hadn't ever seen before, and even though it was technically Shukaku in Gaara's body, it still turned me on way more than I wanted to admit.

"Sure…spell it out for me…" I snarled, backing up and ignoring the way that my thighs were beginning to feel very uncomfortably sticky with fluid. I was not used to be aroused, naked, and standing at the same time, not to mention I had already had one orgasm, so I was quickly discovering the discomfort of a certain slippery substance as it made its way down the insides of my thighs.

His feral grin was all the warning I had before he was in front of me, moving faster than I had expected or could really deal with, and his mouth was at my ear, his hand in my hair, grabbing a fistful and yanking back, while his body pressed to mine. I hadn't realized I had backed myself up to the wall, but I was forced to acknowledge it when I was rudely slammed into it and roughly pinned there.

"I want to mate with you…but then, you already knew that, didn't you?" He purred into my ear, the almost gentle tone totally at odds with his rough treatment.

I gasped, unprepared to hear those words out of Gaara's mouth. I was torn, on the one hand, Shukaku was a part of Gaara, so I had always accepted him, and in this form it would be impossible to not be aroused. However, that arousal also made me feel guilty, as if I was betraying Gaara.

"I don't really think Gaara would like that…" I snarled, swiftly shoving him off with a gust of wind and a neatly place elbow to the solar plexus.

He coughed, then laughed, his eyes meeting mine. "Oh you think so huh? You think he's not in here?" He tapped his head, "He's still part of this sweetheart. He may be wondering how the hell I took control, but he's going along with it…somewhat. Oh sure he's protesting, but if I did something he truly didn't want he could force me back under."

I blinked, not sure I believed him.

"You don't believe me? You don't believe that we both want to mark you as our mate?" As he spoke one of his eyes shifted back to green and his voice altered, somewhere in between the two tones.

I swallowed thickly, looking into Gaara's green eye. I knew he wasn't fully in control, but I knew the feeling of being taken over, and yet still being there. Kitty and I had merged enough that I knew how it felt to let your inner animal out. Gaara was still undoubtedly there, under Shukaku's influence, but still fully himself.

The green eye snapped back to gold and Shukaku grinned. "Of course, I can't let him be too much in control, or else his constant sense of morals and ethics and all that shit would get in the way. I'm flooding him with so much lust right now that he's melding with me perfectly, sort of the way I made him go crazy with bloodlust. Don't worry, there won't be any permanent effect on him though. He'll go right back to his normal control-freak self."

I still felt like going along with this would be a betrayal of Gaara, but some of that anxiety melted away. Even so, I wasn't going to make it easy for him, and Kitty urged me on, not wanting to give in too quickly either. "Whatever you say Shukaku, but I'm not just going to roll over and take it." I said, thinking in retrospect that maybe that wasn't the best way to put it as Shukaku's black and gold eyes gleamed.

"Good." He growled, and then once again he was right there, this time behind me.

I yelped, jerked around, and did my best to retaliate somehow. I was off my game though, the previous orgasm had made my legs a bit unsteady, and the strong arousal still pulsing through my body made me all wobbly everywhere. All of that combined made it relatively easy for him to get behind me and push me up against the dresser, immediately biting into my shoulder.

I gasped, and then yelped as his teeth clamped down. And his teeth were sharp. He didn't break my skin, but it felt like it was dangerously close, and I swung my head around and snapped at his ear instinctively. He chuckled, unclamping his jaw and ducking the clumsy bite.

"So you want to do it up against the dresser? Or are you going to cooperate and let us go back to bed?" He purred into my skin where his nose was buried now at the nape of my neck.

I gasped as his nails raked across my hips and he shoved me into the dresser even harder, banging it against the wall. Poor Temari, she was going to have to get an earful even despite my best intentions. I ceased to think about her at all when Gaara's pelvis pressed against me, his hard dick slipping easily between my thighs and sliding against the sensitive folds.

I gasped and jerked against him, unable to really help the whimper that bubbled up out of my throat. He chuckled deep in his throat as he rubbed himself against me. I huffed, pinned against the dresser and rather uncomfortable, having the nobs pressed into me wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world. But the dresser was taking up very little of my focus, as Gaara nuzzled at my neck, surprisingly gentle for being so rough. The way he pinned me against the furniture was bossy and not exactly tender, but at the same time it was also done a lot more nicely than it could be. I suspected that if I put up a struggle I would likely end up with bruises, but at the moment, he hadn't seriously slammed me into anything hard enough to injure me.

His restraint caused me to relax some, as I realized that "mating" was perhaps a bit rougher than I was used to, but it wasn't unlike some of the intense, passion driven moments I had already experienced with Gaara. He was fond of shoving me up against stuff, and pinning me, and other such things, and I was beginning to get an idea of where those urges came from. Obviously Shukaku had always influenced him somewhat, and probably he was the reason Gaara acted a tad more animalistic at times.

The realization helped to ease the rest of the concern tightening me, as I realized that Shukaku really was already a part of Gaara, and had always been there when we had made love to each other, much in the way Kitty was always there, purring inside me and gaining pleasure from all our activities together. Yes, Kitty and Shukaku were separate beings, but in the long run, they were also intrinsically bound to us, until they were truly part of our beings. I may be unused to dealing with Shukaku in the driver's seat, but it was still Gaara behind me, and that knowledge allowed me to relax my defenses.

As I softened against him, letting my body mold to his, I felt a deep purr rumble against my back, and his mouth nuzzled against my neck, before his teeth clamped down on the nape. I gasped, jerking against him, and his teeth bit down harder, holding me still. I tensed automatically, and then strangely almost went limp, a surge of heat running through me and lighting up all my instincts, telling me to relax and let him in.

His mouth gentled at my acceptance of the bite holding me in place, and the purr started up again. His teeth released and his raspy tongue scraped over my neck and shoulder for a brief second, before his jaw latched back on and he was pulling me back, away from the dresser by his grip on my nape. I went with him, feeling like a kitten held by its ruff, and Kitty similarly was a puddle of goo in my mind, totally limp and happy.

We stepped back from the dresser, and his teeth released me. Before I really knew what was going on, we were back on the bed, me flat on my back and him on top of me. I yelped, shocked by the sudden location change, and absolutely unsure of how we got there. My yelp was muffled by his lips when they covered mine, kissing me roughly. I felt the sharpness of his teeth as he nipped at my lips, and I tasted just the slightest tang of blood, but his lips were soft, if very insistent, and his tongue rasped into my mouth. It was a heady mix of new and old, the kiss something I was almost familiar with, but the rough cat-like tongue in my mouth was utterly unfamiliar. It was still wet, and silky, but the top was sand papery, and rasped over my nerves in a way that was both pleasurable and a little uncomfortable.

It seemed like the normally insane body temperature of Gaara had ramped up even hotter, and I could feel my body start to sweat as the heat of his skin burned against mine. He released my mouth after a moment and I gasped for air, the heat and intensity almost making it feel like I was under the sun in the desert at high noon, and the roughness of his tongue feeling like sand, almost as if I was being taken by the desert itself.

That feeling only increased as sand swirled through the air, even more active than usual, and slid up onto the bed, until I was almost completely laying on a bed of undulating sand. His rough tongue and sharp teeth moved to my neck, and I tilted my head back, burying my fingers in his hair and closing my eyes as I accepted his touch completely. He nipped at my skin, making me jerk and squeak every time I felt the sharp sting, and then he rasped his tongue over the spot, not necessarily soothing so much as further inflaming the spot, until my skin felt like it was all tingling and perhaps a little sore.

He moved to my breasts, and there I did protest, whimpering and curling in a little, not really fond of the idea of having him bite and sand paper my sensitive skin there, especially my nipples. I felt a deep rumble come from him, a mix between a very dark chuckle and a growl, as the sand beneath me curled up over my shoulders and pulled me down, while the sand under my back pushed up and arched my back. His hands grabbed my wrists, making sure I didn't try to cover myself, and his lips descended on my chest.

I gasped and jerked as he bit me, a tad roughly right in the middle, directly over the seal on my chest, and then he nuzzled me there with his lips, soothing the sting with the softness of his mouth instead of aggravating it with his rough tongue. Then his lips moved over one breast, nipping me lightly with his lips and not his teeth. His mouth closed over that nipple, and I moaned as he sucked on it, and then squirmed when the tip of his tongue traced over it. The tip of his tongue was not as rough as the rest, and almost felt velvety instead, still not silky smooth like a human tongue, but definitely more gentle than the rest of his tongue. The different texture was shockingly stimulating, and I arched under him, bucking as a bolt of heat went through me.

And then I yelped as his teeth nipped me, the little zing of pain surprisingly changing to pleasure. He moved to the other breast, sucking and licking me, before rasping his whole tongue over my breast, making me squirm and cry out in protest at the overstimulation that was only just barely not painful. If he did it again, it would be painful, and I was thankful that he didn't, instead sucking on me with his soft lips again. The overstimulation of before had woken up all my nerves, and the sudden pleasure shot through me even more strongly this time, making me gasp and nearly choke on myself. Then he stroked his whole tongue over me again, and I tensed, expecting the rough sandpaper feeling of before. Strangely he had managed to soften his tongue, letting all the little barbs that made it so rough lie down flatter by not flexing his tongue so much, and it felt more velvety, similar to the tip but still a little rougher. The feeling of that stroking over me was actually very pleasurable, and I squirmed, moaning as he lapped at me. After a few strokes his tongue stiffened again, and the moan that was coming out of my throat changed to a squeal as the sandpaper grated across my nerves, shocking me.

He continued switching back and forth, rasping and nibbling, sucking and licking, until my breasts were sore and I started asking him to please stop. He eventually did, leaving me shivering in arousal and feeling like I really didn't want anything to touch my breasts for a good few hours. The sand shifted under me again, lowering my back to the bed and then rising up under my hips. The suggested implication had me bucking in protest, clamping my legs closed tightly and my hands digging into the sand beneath me for purchase as I scrambled to scoot back on the bed.

"No, no, no, don't even think about…" I squeaked, as I squirmed to escape whatever he had planned.

I was cut off by his teeth biting down into my thigh, forcing my protest to break off in a yelp. That didn't stop me from squirming though, and I did that with gusto, but failed rather spectacularly to get away when the sand banded around my waist, holding me in place firmly.

Another of those deep chuckles that sounded like a growl snarled out of his throat, and he licked the bite mark on my thigh. "Oh, yes, yes, yes. The more you protest the rougher I'll be, so I suggest you go with the flow."

I gasped, my hips twisting but unable to get out of the hold that the sand had on my waist. "Why?!" I protested, whining and feeling very pouty, and also incredibly nervous. I wasn't exactly looking forward to having my pussy sandpapered, thank you very much.

"Because it's in my nature to dominate. And the more I have to fight you, the more I want to dominate you. Not that I don't enjoy it, you're my favorite person to fight with Sweetheart, but right now, for your sake I'd rather you enjoy yourself."

I peeped, jerking and not opening my legs when his tongue rasped over my thighs. It was a hopeless case, and I knew it, so I was unsurprised when I felt the sand under my legs slide up over my thighs, wrapping around them and squirming between to make tight bands. The sand easily pulled my legs apart and I groaned, knowing that there wasn't really anything I could do, short of using my wind in retaliation, and I knew that wouldn't garner a favorable response.

His mouth descended, sucking my folds into his mouth and making me jerk. He sucked on me for a while, using his soft lips to nuzzle into the folds and caress me, and I bucked, moaning in pleasure and hoping that he wasn't planning anything else. Naturally he was, and soon I felt his tongue scrape up against the delicate flesh down there and I jumped, air tightly squeezed in my throat and coming out highly pitched. Thankfully he hadn't used the full brunt of his tongue, letting it be a little softer, but it was still way, way too much for all the nerves down there, and it sent a sharp zing of both intense pleasure and pain across my nerves.

I remembered though what he had said about protesting, and so I didn't fight it, though I couldn't help the way my body jerked and automatically tried to close my legs. Even so, I suppose he could feel my acceptance, because he purred, right up against me, which sent a deep vibration through the sensitive, still tingling skin. I gasped and moaned at the sensation, feeling myself clench and spasm against his mouth.

He softened his tongue against me, letting it rub onto my skin without the rasp, and feeling like slightly prickly, undulating velvet. A deep sound came from my chest in response to the pleasure of that, and I squirmed for a wholly different reason. His mouth closed over me, his tongue still caressing me, and he purred again, even harder this time, and it felt like it went inside me almost, as if it traveled up through me, all the way into my womb.

I wasn't even aware of the sounds coming out in a constant, thankfully generally soft, stream, mostly quite peeps and mewls that burbled out of my throat without any consideration my part. And then his mouth moved, and his fingers parted me so that the tip of his tongue, the most velvety part, could come into direct contact with my clit. That sparked a new language to come from me.

I wasn't entirely sure what all came out of my mouth, but it seemed to mostly be half-words and some words smooshed together, and then just sounds that had nothing to do with words. "Holifuck-guh… wha- …shi-…-ungGaa-ra… wait justa…nuh..."

He didn't seem to care that the name coming from me, in half word, garbled phrases, was Gaara's and simply purred, which sent a vibration onto my clit, and made it utterly impossible to not break apart entirely at the seams. I barked out something, probably more of the non-language that was pouring from me, and seized up as the orgasm tensed all my muscles before forcing me into spasm. His tongue gentled, but only a little, and his purr only kicked up a notch, which seemed to send me into another, even stronger orgasm. It seemed to continue on forever, but was probably on a few minutes, as mini-shocks continued to assault me from his continued stimulation.

Eventually he withdrew, way after he normally would, and I went limp, shivering and feeling my pulse throb in my nether regions.

I almost didn't notice the sand withdrawing, allowing me to sink back onto the bed, but I certainly did notice when I was swiftly flipped over. I gasped when I landed face down and spat out a mouthful of sand. I felt him grab my hips and lift me onto my knees, which were still wobbly, and I tilted a little, not intentionally being difficult, but still shaky after what had just been done to me.

His hands held me firm though, and I had to simply brace myself with my forehead and forearms on the sandy bed as best I could. I didn't have time to steady myself though, before I was abruptly filled without ceremony, in one shove. I shouted, thankfully a loud sound that was muffled by the sand, and then moaned into the bed as he started pumping in and out in short hard thrusts that were rougher than any I had ever felt before. I was still experiencing some aftershocks from the orgasm/s and so I immediately spasmed around him, all my internal muscles spazzing out and clenching on him in an intense, uncoordinated fashion.

After a moment one of his arms slid up beneath me and lifted me, and I groaned as I tried to steady myself. Thankfully Kitty rose to the challenge, and I felt her surge within me, filling me with an increase of strength and allowing me to sit up onto my knees and press back against Gaara's chest.

In one smooth movement, he pushed us both forwards, grabbed my hands, and wrapped my fingers around the top of the headboard. His lips pressed against my ear and he purred, "Hold on…"

I groaned, and then gasped as he leaned back a bit, grabbing onto my hips and upping his thrusts, forcing me to grab onto the wood under my palms with a death grip to keep from being tossed face first into the wood. I widened my stance a little, to ease the roughness and to steady myself, and braced my forearms against the headboard, still holding on to the top. I could feel the bed protesting under my hands, the forceful, violent shoving against the headboard warping the whole frame of the bed and putting a lot of pressure and force on the legs. It was making an ungodly noise as it creaked and screeched in protest, and then eventually, with an almighty crack I felt the frame give out, and one of the legs broke off, sending the bed falling to the ground with a bang and jostling us.

The sand wrapped around our thighs, holding us in place during the bouncing, and I held onto the headboard even tighter to keep us from falling over. The momentary distraction was apparently not enough to deter Shukaku, and he just kept fucking me, laying his body against mine now and gripping my hips with both hands. I breathed in panting gulps that almost had me choking, and I tried to force down the sounds that were coming out of my throat with little success. The roughness was shocking, but also felt intensely good. It hurt a little, and more the longer it went, but he was banging into something inside of me that sent sparks up my spine every time he hit it. I was utterly unprepared for his hand sliding down under me and his fingers to find my clit. The edge of gentleness he used to rub me there told me more than anything else that Gaara was definitely awake and alive in there, and had apparently decided to make sure that at least my clit wasn't abused again.

I jerked, bucking under him in shock at the added pleasure, and felt a zing rush through my senses, curling my toes and making my pussy spasm and tighten in a spastic way. I barked out something, some sort of sound, and felt myself careening towards another orgasm. It was really too soon, and the stimulation was just on this side of the pleasure/pain spectrum, but it still felt insanely good, and his thrusting inside of me helped to buffer the sensation as it had before. I knew he was close too, from the way he was snarling and the constant loud growl that was coming from his chest.

His snarl kicked up in volume. His pace picked up, and I could feel sand spiraling up my legs and arms, coiling around me like a whole other lover, caressing me more strongly than it had ever done before, which was unsurprising considering Shukaku was even more strongly associated with sand.

And then his growl spiked and I felt him jerk inside me. The moment he hit orgasm, he bent over me and I felt his mouth fasten over the back of my neck, his teeth clamping down hard. I yelled, muffling it into the backs of my forearms, as I felt his teeth break skin and embed into my flesh, deeper than I would have expected, but then they were sharp so it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise. My whole body jerked at the flash of pain, and then bucked at the wave of heat that followed. It hurt, insanely so, but at the same time it also flooded me with so much heat that it instantly sent me into the orgasm that had been building, which helped to dull the pain some.

After a long moment his teeth finally unclamped, and I groaned as they were removed, wincing at the gritty sting. The heat left behind left me no doubt that that was where he had marked me, and I was sure there was probably some sort of seal now on the back of my neck. We both slid to the bed, no longer propped up against the headboard.

Shukaku was still present, but much calmer now, and I twitched as I felt his rough tongue scrape along the wound on my neck, tenderly cleaning the whole area. I felt a new rumble start up, this time a deep purr as he gently kissed my shoulder and sighed in contentment, snuggling up to me and laying his head next to mine. His body still pinned mine beneath him, and he was still firmly seated inside of me, but strangely the position was relatively comfortable.

After a long moment I felt him stir and then as he sat up I heard his gasp and knew that Gaara had come back to his senses. "Ren?" He asked, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

"Hm?" I hummed, too tired to say much of anything at the moment.

His fingers lightly touched the back of my neck, "Shit. You're bleeding."

I sighed. "I figured."

"I am so sorry…I can't believe I lost that much control."

"Don't worry Gaara. It's just a little bite, it's not a big deal. Come on, we need to fill that jar with stuff and get these sheets out of here." I sat up, pushing him off me and trying to distract him.

He sat up and pulled out, to which I hissed a little in discomfort. Yeah I was definitely going to be sore tomorrow. I sat up a bit. "Hand me that jar would you?" I asked, gesturing to the little jar I had placed on the nightstand.

He did as I asked, though his eyes were still a little glazed over with shock. Once I had the jar I sat up, and then stood, holding the jar under me as I waited for the fluids to drip into it. It took a minute or two, and some various pushing and squeezing of muscles from me, but eventually we got some, and then I bit my thumb and dropped the big red droplets of blood into the jar as well. Once I felt it was enough I stuck my thumb in my mouth to suck off the rest of the blood and put the lid on the jar with the other. I shook it until everything was thoroughly mixed, grimacing as I did so, and then turned to smear an appropriate amount into one of the wet spots on the sheet. I was rather surprised by how many wet spots there were actually, especially since the bed had been coated in sand. I blushed at the knowledge that I was going to have to take this sheet out and hand it to Temari.

"I can do it." Gaara said, yanking the sheet off the bed and bundling it up.

"No it's okay. I think it would be less awkward for me, since she's not my sister."

I took the bundle and headed to the door, throwing on a robe. Gaara nodded and let me go, his eyes tense. I knew that as soon as Temari left we were going to have to have a serious discussion, and I was going to have to comfort him to get rid of that look on his face.

I opened the door and headed out into the living room where Temari was. She lifted her head off the back of the couch and gave me a look. "Did you two have sex? Or did you have a fight and destroy the room, because there were times I couldn't tell."

I flushed. "Um…it's complicated."

"Sure. Is it always that "complicated" because if so, I feel for you. You must have to get new furniture every day." She asked a sarcastic grin quirking her lips.

I sighed. "No, that was…uh…a special circumstance."

"Really? So what happened exactly?"

"Don't ask."

"Okay. For now. So, show me the sheet and then stick it in here." She handed me a plastic bag.

I grimaced and let the sheet flop open from the bundle. I glanced down to make sure it looked believable, and then looked away after deciding that yes it looked believable and really gross, and very embarrassing.

Temari's face scrunched up. "Okay, seriously how many wet spots are real? Because holy fuck you guys were busy."

I snorted. "They're all real, it's just the blood that's not and I rubbed that on a wet spot that was already there. We just relocated a few times."

"Yeah I can see that. It also sounded like you moved around the room a lot too. And are you bleeding?"

"Uh…"I slapped my hand to the back of my neck, and sure enough I felt moisture.

"What the hell happened there?" Temari asked, sounding downright confused and a little disturbed.

"Well…he might have bitten me a little too hard…"

"He bit you." She repeated, looking stunned. "Okay then. Well. I'm just going to take that from you and I'll be on my way."

I nodded and shoved the sheet into the plastic bag, handing it over to her. She left swiftly, shaking her head and muttering to herself as she closed the door behind her. I sighed in relief and made my way back to the bedroom.

Gaara was sitting on the bed waiting for me, and I quickly went over to him and gave him a kiss on the lips to try and take away some of the anxiety still on his face. It was obvious he felt terrible about hurting me, but in all honesty the experience had been fantastic, and I just needed for him to calm down so I could explain that to him.

"Gaara…stop looking so upset. It really wasn't that big a deal. The only thing he did to hurt me was bite me, and to be honest it felt good."

He pinned me with a look. "It felt good? Ren, do you even have any idea how deeply I bit you? I have a hard time believing that _that_ felt anything but excruciating."

"Well, yeah it hurt too. But for some reason it was also very pleasurable. I have no idea why exactly. Plus I orgasmed at the same time, so that minimized a lot of the pain."

He blinked. "You…you orgasmed?"

"Well yeah, you were there. I'm pretty sure you could feel it."

"I was a little out of it, but yes, I think I remember that now that you mention it."

I sighed and sat next to him, reaching over to run my fingers through his hair soothingly. His eyes closed and he leaned his head into my hand, looking like he was finally relaxing a bit. "Look, Gaara, it was inevitable, and I really didn't mind it at all. Everything felt very good, it was actually a pretty fantastic experience, to be honest. So there's no reason for you to beat yourself up over it. Besides, Kitty's gonna get you back eventually."

Gaara jerked and eyeballed me. "Kitty wants to…?"

I nodded.

He just sighed and shook his head, a somewhat amused smile curling his lips. "Well, I guess I can't complain."

Once the tension had eased from his shoulders, we finally were able to relax back into bed, curling up together. Right before we drifted off to sleep, I mumbled, "Love you…"

He nuzzled the back of my bandaged neck, pressing soft kisses to my skin. "Love you too, Ren."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

So there you have it! The bonus chapter everyone wanted.

This is officially done, for now. Eventually I will post a closing chapter set in the future probably, and possibly some bonus side stories. As I've mentioned, I will also edit the whole story one more time, add some content, proofread it again, combine chapters, and probably split it into two at some point. So if you all see the story be reduced to one chapter, never fear! It just means I'm reposting it chapter by chapter. But right now I'm gonna focus on turning this monster into an original novel!

At some point I'm planning on writing another GaaraxOC, one where Gaara never met Naruto, and so he stayed insane. My new OC will be the one to snap him out of it with her kind and caring nature. So that's a little sneak peek! Hopefully some of you will want to read that one when it comes out. :3

So, goodbye for now. I've loved every moment with you guys, and I'll see you in the next story!


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